*eowyn

My top three feminist exploitations of male-default language:

1. “Valar morghulis. All men must die.” “Yes, but we are not men.” - Daenerys, Game of Thrones

2. “No man can kill me!” “I am no man!!!!” - Eowyn, LotR: Return of the King

3. “God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.” “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.” - Dr. Ellie Sattler, Jurassic Park

shout out to Karl Urban as Eomer for giving one of the most heart wrenching cries ever produced in cinematic history where you can essentially feel the anguish and shock that he is going through to find that his sister was on the battlefield, and is now injured, presumably dead. words cannot describe his pain.

Tolkien characters as memes
  • Me, an intellectual: Gandalf, Elrond
  • She is beauty, she is grace, she will punch you in the face: Éowyn, Lúthien, Legolas (let's be honest xd)
  • The dress: Galadriel (is she blue and black or is she white and gold?)
  • I came out to have a good time and honestly I'm feeling so attacked right now: Bilbo, Déagol (ha. ha.), Túrin (ha. ha. ha.)
  • *shoving breadsticks into the purse*: Turgon
  • okay... that sounds fake but okay...: Thranduil, Manwë
  • perfect men don't exis-: Aragorn, Éomer, Faramir, literally hALF OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE YOU READ LOTR
  • don't talk to me or my son ever again: um, Fëanor??? and like, all Fëanorians and their sons and the sons of their sons what even is this family???
8

For she is a fair maiden, fairest lady of a house of queens. And yet I know not how I should speak of her. When I first looked on her and perceived her unhappiness, it seemed to me that I saw a white flower standing straight and proud, shapely as a lily, and yet knew that it was hard, as if wrought by elf-wrights out of steel. Or was it, maybe, a frost that had turned its sap to ice, and so it stood, bitter-sweet, still fair to see, but stricken, soon to fall and die?