I screwed up my first year of high school. To some people, it doesn’t look like it. But with a combination of mental illness, not amazing friends and a lack of discipline, I’m glad I barely remember that. But that screw up of a year taught me more than any high school teacher could. Now let me share these things with you. Just a warning, this will most likely be a chaotic rambling of everything in my head.
Mental illness is a legitimate thing do not accuse someone of lying about their mental illness. Don’t do it. You can blame a lot of things on how you were young and stupid, but the question is, are you still being what you call ‘young and stupid’? Now is that a good thing or a bad thing? Learn to laugh at yourself. You do that by putting yourself in weird situations. Walking around the city in a onesie and bright pink vans was a great time. It made me more comfortable in my skin. Own yourself. Simplicity is beautiful. Trust me. You don’t need to get smashed at a party when you’re underage to have fun, trust me on this, I’ve seen way too many incredible people screw up such a great part of their lives by getting smashed at parties and doing drugs when they’re barely 13. Don’t. Beauty isn’t everything, you’ve got a brain. Use it. Such a unique mind shouldn’t go to waste due to societal expectations. You’ve got a heart that’ll melt even the coldest of minds. Find your escape. Books, music, painting, whatever. The world can be overbearing, don’t let it get to you.
Put your all into everything. Don’t half arse anything. If you think you’ve done enough, do it three more times. Check out three more websites. Go through your flashcards three more times. Three is a magical number. What do you enjoy? Okay good, do it often. Who cares if you can’t exactly put it on your resume. Sexuality is a thing, respect other people’s and don’t be ashamed of yours. Do things, but for the right reason. Don’t do a certain co curricular only because it’ll look good on your resume, do it because you enjoy it. Don’t stop doing something because you think other people are better than you. Maybe they are, but that doesn’t mean you can’t improve.
You’re going to change. You’ll never be the same person again. And that’s not a bad thing. But always remember, your mind is a compass pointing you to your final destination. And your final destination is the place where you draw your final breath. And you can ignore it all you want, but you’re going to die at some point. So stop wasting today being someone who you don’t want to be or not growing into the person you want to be, because life is dynamic. To the point where it will end but we have no idea when.
I found this in notes, I wrote this a year ago and it still stands.