*edits:tes

I cant stop thinking about the fact that, during the oblivion crisis, the Argonians in Blackmarsh kicked dagon’s ass so hard, they launched a counter-invasion into Oblivion, and forced the daedra to start closing their own oblivion gates to keep the argonians out
And keep in mind, Dagon’s plane of Oblivion is the Deadlands, literally hell

You basically had a bunch of Lizard Doomguys launching an invasion on Hell

the year is 2182. you close your eyes and use your biotic implant to sink your mind into the flow of the collective consciousness of humanity itself for your morning news as your apartment prepares you a nutritionally perfect breakfast. you find out bethesda is re-releasing skyrim again with a slight graphic update from the skyrim they re-released two years ago. you still can’t marry brynjolf.

Skyrim villains

Alduin: i’m a dragooon suck my diiiiiick

Silver Hand: FUCK WEREWOLVES

Ancano: i’m gonna keep zapping this ball mcguffin until it somehow makes me all-powerful. it’s very badly explained but it works i promise. i’m threatening

Mercer Frey: I’m gonna steal from Nocturnal, a literal god, because that always works out great and has never backfired

Ulfric Stormcloak: *monologues*

General Tulius: i hate mondays

Harkon: FUCK THE SUN

Miraak: come to solstheim in the next era if you want an ass-kicking