People wanted to see some points on my own Antisepticeye character!
* he’s already dead guys
* Got his scars in a fistfight with Dark
* Has screws in his fingers from torturing Jack
* Looks kinda like he’s falling apart
* Wears the gauges
* Has subtle fangs
* He just hates everyone tbh
* Always looks kinda gross, like bruised and clammy
* Eyes vary between pitch black and glowing green.
* Although they reflect red if you shine a light at him
* Sometimes refers to himself as “we”
* Probably eats exclusively raw eggs and uncooked meat
* he’s NOT ATTRACTIVE he’s AWFUL and he SMELLS LIKE DEATH
He’s scary. He’s charismatic, he knows how to make people do things. He’ll manipulate people into doing whatever he wants them to.
When he talks, you can hear Jack’s voice echoing. They don’t quite speak in unison. Similar in rhythm, yes. Like two sides of the same story, simultaneously.
“His body was weak”
“When I was dictating what we speak”
“You all said my name”
“He thought it was a shame”
“Awake at night”
“I am here now”
“I am here still”
“It’s all your fault”
“It’s not your fault”
“You listen to me now”
“He lies, you all know”
“You all made this happen”
“You couldn’t have seen through his tricks”
“You could have stopped me”
“You couldn’t have stopped him”
“But you just watched”
“Guilting you to watch”
“As THIS HAPPENED”
“As this happened.”
“Now he’s gone forever”
“Is this the end? Never.”
this is a thing I told the BIGGEST NERD EVER @satanicslushie and then she said I should post it
if Baz and Simon were originally supposed to have this GIANT duel when they got older, do you guys think that means they were trained in close-combat and such?
like, do you think every time Baz got home (and Simon was reunited with The Mage) it was, like, “omg, okay at 5 AM, you need to get up and learn how to do a triple assassination kick backflip. and then you gotta eat 9.8 raw eggs. for protein. and then u gotta learn how to do a flying sizzling cheeky Nandos punch"
or do you think they didn’t really learn anything like that and it was more like, "haha u have a wand,,, figure these things out yourselves”
give this to ur friends to let them know that they got deadmeat and are grounded for life, also that means no more mcdonalds, burger king, kfc, taco bell, sonic drive-in, carls jr, or jack in the box, and they will only eat raw eggs, swiss cheese, grapenuts and prunes from now on. it also means no more TV, computer, phone, internet, or playing with kids forever. There will be none of their favorite shows like Dora the Explorer, caillou, teletubbies, sesame street, bear in the big blue house, and other crappy baby shows. The only shows they will be allowed to watch are the Simpsons, family guy, south park, futurama, step by step, family ties, family matters, bob’s burgers, and other adult and primetime shows
Okay so im going to tell you how to make a nice big bowl of
eggless cookie dough you can shove straight into your goddamn face hole. No eggs, so you’re safe from all that
salmonella bullshit that can theoretically come from eating raw eggs (ive yet
to meet someone get it from cookie dough, but there’s science behind it or
something, also you could use those eggs to make other shit. Like actual cookies or something)
What you’re going to need:
½ of softened butter (pop it in the microwave on a plate for 10 seconds)
¾ cup of light brown sugar, packed like it’s going camping in the outback of Australia
1 cup of flour*, I use a little less because, hey, im a shithole who loves sugar
Vanilla bullshit (doesn’t have to be actual vanilla, I actual substitute with a bit of maple crown, or some other rum. Less than a shot, and trust me it’s fucking worth it)
Some goddamn salt, it brings out the flavor people, PUT SALT IN YOUR SWEETS HAVENT YOU EVER HAD SALTED CARAMEL? ITS HEAVENLY. I digress
Chocolate/peanutbutter/butterscotch chips, ½ bag, but pour however much you want into it because no one is judging you anymore for that, anymore than they’re judging you at three in the morning as you quietly sob into a huge bowl of cookie dough, look at what you’ve wrought
What you need to do with all this shit:
Mix butter and sugar in a bowl. I just throw it into a Tupperware container, that way I only dirty one bowl and I can cover it for snacking on later. You think I actually plan on using this cookie dough on anything??? NOPE.
Start mixing in the flour. You don’t have to use it all. You can actually replace some with coco powder if you want to make things extra chocolaty. Do it.
Toss some vanilla or whatever rum you want in there, like less than a shot at a cheap ass bar that doesn’t even give you limes unless you ask for them. I don’t care if limes don’t come with jello shots, give me a fucking lime.
Put a pinch of salt in that monstrosity. Like, a tiny pinch. Imagine pinching a fairy’s butt. Yeah, that small, but it has big plans.
Dump however MANY CHIPS IN THERE AS YOU WANT. A HALF BAG, A POUND, A WHOLE BAG, A GODDAMN FEEDBAG I DON’T CARE,IT’S YOUR MOUTH
Mix that shit and fucking eat it. You can freeze it too, if you don’t eat it all in one sitting like I do. Also good on ice cream, and can make children shut the fuck up as well. All purpose.
now go be happy with your huge bowl of cookie dough, you beautiful well adjusted adult.
Thank for reading. If you want other recipes, shoot me a message. I can actually cook really well, and I love writing up recipes.
"Harsh. Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only raw-egg smoothies and wheat protein. Every Friday we have a dance-off and whoever is left standing gets a chocolate bar. Also we have to watch dance movies constantly."
I truly wish Taylor knew how much I love her. I guess since I tend to say it to her a lot, it might be easy to casually pass by a text post letting her know how much love I have for her, and smile. But no, you don’t get it, like I love you so freakin’ much, Taylor. The kind where all I want for you is happiness and genuine smiles and I will eat raw eggs for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes. But seriously please don’t make me do that, I’ll probably die from salmonella. You get the point, though. I love you.