anonymous asked:

A young woman was traveling with her infant son on a train when a man walking down the aisle abruptly halted in front of her, did a double take, and exclaimed, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." The woman burst into tears, and the conductor who heard her crying tried to console her. "Don't worry about what inconsiderate people have to say; they're just being uncouth. Here, here's a banana for your monkey."

my FAVORITE tropes compiled thanks to some suggestions from others

  • a character gets a sick burn and doesn’t realize it immediately, at some point later there’s just “HEY WAIT A MINUTE”
  • the double take. this one’s an oldie but a goodie
  • the injured character makes the killing shot that saves everyone else in a dangerous situation
  • a character who isn’t speaking is doing something weird in the background, it’s subtle and never acknowledged it’s just there for those who notice it (pulling another character out of something they got stuck in, making a huge sandwich, etc)
  • the beleaguered assistant inches away from smacking their boss
  • “quick act natural”
  • in that vein, the leader character was just in a shouting match with someone and when they come back the rest of the team scrambles to look like they weren’t listening at the door
  • never forget: “he’s standing right behind me isn’t he”

Rubbing my eyes as I yawned, I stepped into this kitchen on a mission to get some koolaid. I walked passed the counter immediately having to do a double take once I noticed a medium-sized box sitting on top of it that wasn’t there when I went to sleep. Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked around the room for a sign of anyone and reach behind the cereal boxes in one of my cabinets to pull out my gun in case a nigga was tryna get crazy and pop out on me. I inched closer to the box, earning a foul smell in return. “Fuck is this shit?” Tucking my pistol in my pants, I opened up the box and stepped back a little once the contents were revealed. “Hell nah man.” My jaw instantly clenched and my fist balled up after covering the box so that I wouldn’t have to see the head that laid inside of it. I looked up at the ceiling and ran both of my hands over my face. “DAMN MAN!” I yelled out while simultaneously punching a large hole in the nearest wall causing my hand to instantly go numb as I sank down to the floor and shook my head, regretting not being there to protect her.

temptationattwilight  asked:

[Schwarz is just going to pop by to visit with a shoulderbag full of goodies. He hesitates in the fields again in order to remember where Sigmund lived. Eventually he finds the right place and kncks]

*It doesn’t take very long for Siegmund to open the door, having mostly been just laying around for the time being. He blinked though, almost double taking at seeing it was Schwarz of all people.*

Schwarz! How are you, it’s been so long!


one day you will be king and you will understand

okay but phil’s said people weren’t very nice to him in school but now he gets to go back and show them he has a radio show on the bbc, a youtube channel within millions of subscribers, an app, a book and a tour coming soon and a million other things on the horizon. he’s so successful and even though he totally could, he probably still won’t shove it in those asshole’s faces because that’s just not the kind of person he is, i’m so proud of phil and i love him so much


A small personal project from my sketchbook turned into something much bigger. More of my ast posts, related to Dipper 3 and 4: one, two, picking their names (spoiler: I guess we stopped at Dillon and Tyler), headcanons, one of the sketches, Weirdmageddon related post + Into The Bunker.

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