“again in front of the mirror, in front of my face. My pride is crumbling once again “I’m so pretty, I’m so awesome” I say those useless monologues and I’m falling down. The tears keep endlessly falling. The thorn-like truth prickles me – that I’m not pretty”. ☆
I have been wanting to make this post for a while (and I once made something similar a while back but it’s on a long lost Tumblr account lol), but it takes time to really express myself properly so let’s go!
I am bisexual, and as a K-Pop fan, it’s really hard to deal with fanservice being used, but LGBT barely being represented.
Being an ARMY already is an incredible experience, but to be an long time ARMY is something completely different. Mainly because I got to watch the boys grow, and Jungkook in particular.
When I said I have been wanting to make this post, I am talking about when I heard ‘Begin’. It was that moment that I thought, “Yes. This needs to be said, and I am gonna say it dammit”.
‘Begin’ is about Jungkook coming into his own and finding himself with the help of six older men who basically raised him. He was a small 14 year old kid who knew nothing of the world and was afraid of everything. He used to cry a lot out of fear of singing for others, he would wait until everyone was asleep to shower and even eat out of fear. The boys in each of their own ways, from Namjoon’s wisdom, Seokjin’s parental instinct, Yoongi’s life experience, Hoseok’s happiness, Jimin’s affection, and Taehyung’s ability to be himself without shame made him ‘Begin’. Through this love they gave, he came to love them so much that when they are in pain, that is where he is most in pain. Their suffering is his suffering and for me, his best traits come from two places, the people who most influence him, and his own amazing personality. Also, note that this song was something that Namjoon helped him write and Jungkook cried over because it meant so much.
Now, I bet you are wondering, what does this have to do with Pride Month?
Well, I think one of the best things I have noticed about Jungkook is that he loves unconditionally and regardless of actual orientation since we do not know and can’t assume either way, he has come to love all people, and support them…and where only a few in the industry actually are open about this, to see Jungkook speak through actions and words brings a great PRIDE in my heart, as an LGBT. Why do I focus on him? Because I think one big factor played in this: Namjoon.
Namjoon has openly expressed his support for the LGBT, and is Jungkook’s biggest influence. He has said this multiple times. So, to be raised and most influenced by an ally is amazing in itself, but let me show you a few things:
1. Jungkook hates prejudice. Notice how he just states something so serious. Now, I want to say this before anything else. This is so important due to how the rest kind of answered with what people expected.
Now, I have NO feelings that any member doesn’t support. They are all open and loving people. Hell, Jimin and JHope actually danced in video for Glam ‘Party XXO’, a song about a girl not caring if the person she is into is a boy or girl, because nothing is wrong with either, but Jungkook was a little one and this was just when his hero Namjoon was starting to influence him. Which leads me to my next point.
2. Namjoon co-wrote and co-composed Glam’s ‘Party XXO’ and Jungkook danced in the video. What’s crazy enough is that this group was a part of BigHit, which shows me that they in themselves are pretty LGBT friendly too, but that is simply speculation.
Can I state that while the song features her being attracted to the girl, the lyrics mention breaking down walls, opposition, and taking off the blindfolds to the worldview? The intention was never to fetishsize, but to just show that regardless of attraction to a gender or both, it is okay and screw the hate. Now, sadly, this group had to disband due to some very unfortunate actions of member Dahee, but still, this song exists, made by Namjoon, and debuted with BigHit, with Jungkook in the video.
3. Now, that last one could have been a collective influence due to 4 members of BTS being involved, and BigHit themselves, but these next ones are definitely where Namjoon influenced Jungkook. As we know, the two covered ‘Fools’ by LGBT artist Troye Sivan, a song made for Troye’s former lover who left him due to what most have gathered is internalized homophobia and struggles.
This is simply a cover, but I think it does play a part, seeing as the meaning behind the song is so poignant and Namjoon already stated he loved ‘Same Love’ by Macklemore even more after he learned that it was about a homosexual relationship. So, I don’t think it is merely just a cover.
4. ‘I Know’ and the actual meaning behind it. Now, this is when I noticed something interesting, but let’s talk about the song first. It was written by Namjoon for the Third Year Festa anniversary, and was meant for the fans. Now, how many fans LOVE BTS and I mean in the desire to be romantic way? I mean, we all know. This song is meant to show that Namjoon knows too. Now, there was speculation on if this song was released around the time gay marriage was once again rejected in Korea, but lets leave that alone for now.
“I know your gaze that remained on me that day is something shared between you and me that can never be replaced” - I Know by Namjoon
This is not a statement to take lightly. It means so much, and so the inclusion of the lyric ‘Know you love me boy so that I love you” is so much more meaningful.
Now, to the interesting part: Why does Namjoon make these songs with Jungkook? Like I said, no member in my opinion shows any prejudice, but there must be a reason this happens with those two. Something that is shared. I think it has a lot to do with Namjoon being Jungkook’s biggest influence, to which he states so often. I just think there is a lot more to this than some think.
5. Can we just talk about that fanboy? You know the one. The sweet boy who not only came out to Jungkook but also confessed to him AND asked him out on a date. Now, yes, I am perfectly aware of what fanservice is. I know that catering to fanboys is nothing new. Hell, I even know that pretending to accept their requests to date them is nothing new, but can we just REALLY talk about this. Jungkook said yes to the date, but what is important is what came before it. Now, translations are hard to determine, but I have got two answers.
One was: I really love Jungkook, even though I am a boy (note that because he said this, it’s him stating that his love is not a platonic love). Would you be willing to go on a date with me?
Jungkook apparently responded with what I found to be one of the two:
“Courage! Yes! (to the date)” or “You have guts! Yes!”
I do not believe a guy like Jungkook would throw away those feelings for status and approval from fans like he only is saying it for fanservice. He knows how important this is. I don’t know, I have heard two opinions: That he meant it or he didn’t want to hurt the fan by rejecting him. I happen to think the first, but either way it is no joke to him and it is NOT FANSERVICE.
I know that this post was all over the place, and I know I probably missed a lot of other things that have happened but please note that I 100% believe that Jungkook would have come to be accepting on his own, but with Namjoon there, he became more comfortable with himself. Does this mean that I think Jungkook is LGBT? Well, I do, but that doesn’t matter really…point is…
In honor of Pride Month, and coincidentally Festa Month, I want to thank Namjoon for helping our maknae grow into the beautiful person he is today, and to our maknae, who came into his own as the beautiful person he is today.
Disclaimer: This is not really relevant, but I did want to mention it. I do think Jungkook shows interest in certain members of BTS in a possibly confused and different way, but that is a whole other can of worms I will open another day.
UPDATE: I want to add something to this since today happened. Can we appreciate that not only all of the things in my post happened BUT Jungkook and Jimin released a song meant to be a duet between two lovers and they didn’t change the pronouns for Jimin’s lines? Pride Month for an ARMY is starting off beautifully.