*csa

i have memories i want to process and talk about with a professional, but i’m scared because i still live with the person. so i sit, always uncomfortable when they stare at me undress or touch me, even in nonsexual ways. even typing this out is extremely uncomfortable for me.

lol its hilarious that hte parentstuck dude essentially had a temper tantrum because ppl gave him shit for his bad au and also the fact that in this au gamzee fucked both dave + karkat, AND their daughter

saying that fiction has no real influence over people is a silly and ahistorical statement, and out here this sort of idea is propagated by people who actively engage in writing fiction which intentionally desensitises (in other words, makes it fine to behave like this) readers’ views of violence aimed at women, homophobia, and paedophilia.

someone just replied to one of my posts about ca.pti.ve prince kins w talking abt how theyre generally csa victims n use it to cope
FUCK first im a csa survivor too and i still think u shouldnt id as shitty characters in public, not everyone is gonna do that for coping w abuse, some people r just gonna be gross n kin him anyway, (also theres quite a few other csa survivors in media u dont have to pick one from one of the worst sources imagineable) and at the end of the day capt.iv.e prince is still racist and bad in that way whether or not the guy is a csa victim its still not cool to kin w a guy who owns slaves what the fuck

i keep thinking about how you were the first man i trusted in years. the first one i confided in about the others, 3, 4, 5 times my age when it began; some only twice my age when it ended. i was vulnerable and i just wanted to be loved. and you took that and wrung me dry of all i’d felt for you in the beginning until i am myself today: guarded and resentful of love, and further traumatized.

Tea time part of the reason it’s hard to create LGBT spaces for minors is because there is a common perception that we’re literally child predators. Like if a gay man were to try and make some sort of youth center for young boys the critiques would be relentless. There are probably people who would read that sentence and think those critiques are justified.

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO FORGIVE YOUR ABUSER IN ORDER TO RECOVER.

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO FORGIVE YOUR ABUSER IN ORDER TO RECOVER.

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO FORGIVE YOUR ABUSER IN ORDER TO RECOVER.

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO FORGIVE YOUR ABUSER IN ORDER TO RECOVER.

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO FORGIVE YOUR ABUSER IN ORDER TO RECOVER.

Fuck what you’ve been told, forgiving and forgetting doesn’t always work

ya’ll are like “child sexual abuse survivors can’t remember their abusers names, eye color, height, weight, and social security number? they must obviously be lying” meanwhile you can’t remember what you had for lunch last tuesday so go fuck yourselves

privately engaging in whatever coping mechanisms you’d like as long as you aren’t actively harming others in the process: cool whatever

publicly ridiculing people who are uncomfortable with your coping mechanisms and don’t want to be exposed to them in any kind of public setting: bad

comparing those who are uncomfortable to puritanical christians and the institutional abuse of children: horrendous

Derek Morgan is still one of the most important characters to ever exist. He grew up in the South Side of Chicago where he saw his father shot and killed right in front of him. That traumatic experience triggered emotional and behavioral problems which landed him with a juvenile record, and the one person he had to turn to for help ended up abusing him sexually and emotionally all the while pretending “mentor” him. 

No one knew what was happening to him, and he had to carry all the guilt and shame over it into his adult years. Even into adulthood, this person haunts him and tries to manipulate Morgan into thinking that all of his success was a result of his (the abuser’s) influence. As if all of Morgan’s accomplishments were due to this person’s interventions. As if Morgan was destined for the gutter, if his abuser had not stepped in to “save” him…

…but Morgan says no. He stands firm, and gathers up all this emotional strength within himself to stand by his successes as his own. He puts himself in this very painful position of confronting his abuser, because the lives of other boys like him are on the line. He got himself to the BAU, so he could put people like his abuser away. To show boys like him that they could be more than their records and the people who abused them. 

Outside of all the bitterness and rage that Morgan rightfully has towards his abuser, Morgan has been surrounded by people who love him very much. He loves them just as much, putting all of his trust and faith in them despite the loss and betrayal he has experienced in the past. Healing is a process, and the anger does not go away completely… but he has learned to deal with it in a healthy way, all the while putting away abusers.   

Derek Morgan went through hell as a child. His juvenile record labeled him as violent, when his fighting was directly related to the traumas he was going through. His abuser held this against him, in order to make himself out to be the hero of Morgan’s story. He was a young black boy in a poor neighborhood with a record, making it easy for his abuser to prey on him given how society already viewed him.

People would even praise his abuser for taking boys off the streets!

Yet, Morgan subverts all expectations all the while shedding light on some of the painful things boys in his neighborhood were (are) going through. His success was his own. He is healing all the time. He is still guarded and on the surface, he can be tough and masculine… but he is so damn soft and loving and kind and affectionate to the people he trusts, and he is everything people didn’t think he was capable of. 

He is unapologetically himself, and he got to tell his abuser to go to hell.

That’s a lot

Derek Morgan is very important. I miss him so much, but I’m glad that the show respected this character enough to give him a proper sendoff.