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Emma Swan vs. The Bake Sale

Note: I don’t normally update two days in a row but this prompt was too good to pass up. imhookedonaswan on AO3 made a comment on one of the prior installments about Emma bringing store brought brownies to a baked sale with judgmental moms and I really couldn’t pass it up. It was just too brilliant for me to let slip through my fingers so I decided to write it. Anyway, thanks again @welllpthisishappening for always lending an ear and constantly reading blocks of text that I send your way. You’re amazing.
Summary: Emma Swan is the Savior, the Sheriff of Storybrooke, a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother of five children. Her life is a bit hectic. God forbid, she bring store bought brownies to the youth football bake sale.
Rating: T
Word Count: 5,500+


Before she got married, Emma Swan admittedly thought about how her life would be if she survived the Final Battle. She had fantasized about an idyllic life where Killian and she only had to battle a monster once a week, would go to Henry’s track meets, eat dinner with her parents and have an absurd amounts of sex on a daily basis. She had imagined that she and Killian would have a few years to grow comfortable with each other before deciding whether or not they would have children. And even more admittedly, Emma had imagined that they would have one or maybe two kids, a boy and a girl preferably, and they would be beautiful, charming but respectful of their parents and wouldn’t get into too much trouble. (She always assumed that any child of theirs would have some mischief in them, but would be smart enough not to do something crazy like perhaps steal their grandfather’s sword and go swinging it around like it was a baton. Seriously.)

That was a fantasy though, and some deity up there on Mount Olympus had seen those fantasies and laughed their ass off because that was not the reality that Emma Swan was granted.

The reality was that Emma Swan and her family only ate with her parents twice a week, Henry had quit track during sophomore year to run the school newspaper and while she still had a healthy sex life, it was constantly interrupted by her four (yes, four, she was still uncertain how they had managed to get that number) small children who didn’t seem to understand the meaning of a closed door. Those same children, of course, were beautiful and charming, but they didn’t often understand the meaning of the word ‘respect’ and they seemed to get into trouble more often than they were out of it. Emma was now very familiar with the school principal, who seemed to have her on speed dial, and her family health insurance now covered absurd things like “falling off a roof” and “accidentally eating harmful paints” because apparently, she needed that. She’s pretty certain that the Emma Swan of eleven years ago would be terrified of the reality she had been given and would have gotten her tubes tied.

It wasn’t that Emma hated how her life had gone since the Final Battle had been won. She adored her life, her husband and her kids, but sometimes she just wanted a day off or at least a twenty-minute nap. That’s all she asked for. Well, maybe she also wanted for a clean kitchen too. And a magic proof cookie jar. And a vacuum that could actually pick up dog and cat hair. And a way to detect if a suspicious brown stain was chocolate or poop. Okay, she wanted a lot of things, but at the moment, she really, really, really wanted that nap and it was only nine in the morning.

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Captain Swan Vows
  • Hook: When we met it was just one thing that mattered to me: getting my revenge. And you did something that no one else ever could: you showed me that a heart full of love is the most precious treasure of all. And one that I don't intend to lose. They say that a captain's heart belongs to his ship. And with this ring, it now belongs to you.
  • Emma: Killian. I spent so much of my life on my own. And then Henry found me and brought me to Storybrooke and helped me find the rest of my family. But just because you learn that you come from true love doesn’t mean you believe that you will ever find it. But thanks to you, now I have.
10

There’s no storm we can’t outrun
We will always find the sun
Leave the past and all its scars
A happy beginning now is ours

2

E m m a,  when we met, there was just one thing that mattered to me: getting my revenge. And you did something that no one else ever could. You showed me that a heart full of love was the most precious treasure of all. One that I don’t intend to lose.  They say that a captain’s heart belongs to his ship. With this ring, it now belongs to you.

K i l l i a n,  I spent so much of my life on my own. And then Henry found me and brought me to Storybrooke and helped me find the rest of my family.  But just because you learn that you come from true love doesn’t mean you believe that you will ever find it. But thanks to you, now I have.