Listen boys and girls and everyone in between, three years ago I could not leave my house by myself without crying uncontrollably and giving up by the time I stepped on the sidewalk and today I took a 2 hour flight, navigated the airport and took a cab home by myself. So. It WILL get better. I’m telling you from experience: with patience and therapy and by taking small steps, you can do anything you set your mind to.
What is ADHD? - It is a neurodevelopmental disorder that can affect anyone, no matter your age or gender.
ADHD is not just being hyperactive- it is actually broken down into three parts
Hyperactive - This can include, fidgeting, talking too much/out of turn, you’re often “on the go”, running or climbing at inappropriate times, impulse decisions etc.
Inattentive - This can include, not paying attention to detail, making careless mistakes, being distracted and forgetful, not being able to understand or follow instructions, impulse decisions etc
Combined Type - This type is one of the more common types, it’s a combination of both the hyperactive and inattentive types
ADHD can affect memory, and can cause poor emotional control, this is especially common with the inattentive type.
What is RSD? - Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is extremely common with ADHD. It causes us to have unexplained and often irrational emotions (angry, depressed, etc) when we feel misunderstood or rejected. It typically happens instantly. For example: A close friend or relative asks you to stop clicking your pen, and you start uncontrollably crying right after they ask you to stop. These feelings are often incredibly intense, debilitating, and painful
Medication - Many people may be put on medication for their ADHD. It may help, or it might not. Medication is not for everyone. Some people find that fidgeting or stimming helps more, and others find that therapy appointments are more beneficial
ADHD affects your school performance, your overall mental health, relationships with others, and so much more. ADHD is not just about being hyperactive. ADHD is real and valid.
science: classical music is good for your concentration while studying!
classical musicians: *practice fingerings along with the recording, procrastinate by googling the piece and the performer and analysing his/her playing, do the simultaneously-laugh-in-amazement-and-cry-uncontrollably-because-their-playing-is-so-good-and-so-much-better-than-mine thing* hmm yes concentration
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Many people with ADD/HD also have rsd, and either get irrationally angry when they feel misunderstood/rejected or become depressed. This happens as an almost immediate reaction. For example: Someone, especially a friend, tells you to be quieter or talk less and then you lash out or later start crying uncontrollably.
ADDattitudemag.com describes it as “The extreme emotional pain of perceived rejection is a feeling unique to people with ADHD, and it can be debilitating.” If you want more info on it, I have an #rsd tag too.
So, I’m definitely going to right a review about the movie tomorrow, but for now, lemma just say that movie was hella gay. I was hardcore shipping batjokes the whole time, it screamed gay, and I loved it so much. BLESSED. BLESSED. BLESSED. Thank you so much, Lego, for giving us another, finally, canon ship.
Hopefully from Lego and the new Legend of Korra comic, DreamWorks will get the message.
it’s not the first time kara’s said it, but lena feels her cheeks flush anyways. she focuses on the road in front of her, the feel of the steering wheel underneath suddenly sweaty palms.
“alright, dear.” lena takes a chance side-glance at her girlfriend and finds kara all soft smiles, something secret and intimate brewing between the two of them.
“alright,” kara repeats. she turns, palm under her head and elbow on the door as the open breeze whips her golden curls around. the moment feels new, feels real. lena turns up the radio and smiles, wishes for time to come to a standstill.
“i’m gonna marry you.”
kara’s breath is hot against her ear and lena can feel their heartbeats syncing as one. she breathes deep through her nose, runs her fingers through damp hair. kara lounges on her chest and seems content to just lie there forever - and lena doesn’t really mind. kara is made from the stars and lena holds the universe on her chest.
“and i’m gonna marry you.” lena whispers this into the night air, the room still sticky with heat. there’s a hitch in kara’s breath, slight, subtle, but a hitch nonetheless.
“i look forward to it.” a wet kiss is placed below lena’s jaw then, followed by a trail of more hungry ones, and lena holds onto broad shoulders, wonders what salt tastes like on a hungry tongue.
“i’m gonna marry you.” kara says it like she’s going to make a stop at the grocery and is asking lena what kind of milk she wants.
this time, there’s no surprise, only the warmth of familiarity that seeps through lena’s veins at those words of endearment.
“i know,” lena jokes. she doesn’t look up from the email that she’s typing up. “tmz is doing a countdown for the big proposal.”
across the living room, kara sticks her tongue out at her and rolls her eyes. lena continues to type and for a while, the only sounds of the apartment are the click clack of a keyboard and the shuffling of kara’s papers.
“you’d still say yes, right?”
lena looks up momentarily. “what?” she asks.
there’s a hesitancy to the slope of kara’s shoulders. “you would still say yes, right? if i asked to marry you?”
lena lets out a soft laugh - nothing intimidating or loud, just soft - and sits back in her chair, catches her girlfriend’s honest gaze with her own, “my dear, i’d follow you to the ends of the universe and back, you know that.”
this seems to soothe kara, who returns back to her books at hand. “alright,” she says as she pushes up her glasses. “just checking.”
“i’m gonna marry you.”
kara is crying, big, uncontrollable silent sobs down her cheeks. lena feels her own eyes well up in return; seeing kara in all her sadness never made for a dry eye between the both of them.
kara lies on the deo bed under sunlamps. and lena luthor is a child prodigy, a genius billionaire, a nobel peace prize winner and a forbes 30 under 30, but she will never understand the deepness of kara’s sorrow, the cuts and the space that kara’s mind occupies where no sunlight can reach. she tries. lena tries hard, and it’s times like these where she can only do so much but hold kara’s hand a pray for the sunrise to come quick.
lena’s mouth is dry when she speaks. “you’re gonna marry me,” she whispers, urges, promises, “you’re gonna marry me, and i’m gonna marry you, and you’re gonna have something steady to call your own.”
kara cries harder at this, tears streaming and silent heaves, but it’s enough. it’s enough for now, and it’s a promise of forever.
“i’m gonna marry you.”
and kara does. kara and lena exchange vows under a setting sun with matching bracelets on their arms and a song in their hearts and kara and lena marry each other when the world is turning into a new day and their beginning is just reaching the first page. lena marries kara and they sit on a rooftop at the end of the night, look into the constellations of stars and eons and legends and they find a home among the infinite, a peace among the unknown.
Y/N had spent most of her childhood years in Derry. Despite all the murders,the bullies,the depression that always ran through her because of it,she loved her birthplace. The bond between Derry and Y/N was strong,the girl loved the small town unconditionally,almost blindly. Derry was her weakness. Her priority. Her number one.
Adoring Derry also meant loving the people living in it. Specifically, a bunch of kids,a bunch of losers who Y/N swore she would never forget;Stan,Eddie,Ben,Bev,Richie,Mike and Bill…
Bill. Bill Denbrough. Her best friend. Her crush. The love of her life,maybe. Bill was just too perfect. With his beautiful eyes,his adorable stuttering…To her,he was the perfect boy. He was always kind and sweet to her… But then she would remind herself that she was just a young girl. Having feelings towards a boy was stupid. That’s what her mother said.
Knowing that she had to leave everybody behind hurt too much. She got so attached to her friends,that when the time came and she had to announce the breaking news,she just couldn’t help but sob and cry uncontrollably. Eddie had put his aspirator in her mouth,hoping it would help her calm down,but it was no use.
“Please don’t cry…” Beverly had told her as she hugged her tightly.
“You don’t understand…” Y/N said,wiping away a few tears using the sleeves of her long jacket. “I’m gonna live with my mom’s sister. That bloody woman is gonna make my life a living hell…”
Nobody said anything except for Beverly who just whispered a weak “i know”. And it was true. Because she knew how home could easily turn into inferno. But she didn’t wanna tell.
“I’m gonna miss you guys. You have no idea how much…” She said and sniffed.
“We’re gonna muh-muh-miss you t-too Y/N. ” Said Bill and the girl felt her heart breaking into millions of pieces. The hardest part of the whole thing was leaving Bill. He was the first person she met from the losers’ club and knowing that she would probably never see him again was killing her. Knowing that she would see none of her friends again was killing her.
The honk of her mother’s car brought her back to reality. She was about to go,right. She was just saying her last goodbyes to her friends. She turned back and raised her left hand,motioning that she needed five more minutes. Her mom waved back at her and gave her a thumbs up.
“So…That’s it,i guess…” Y/N shrugged and put her hands on her hips.
Hesitantly,Stan was the first who hugged her after Bev. Y/N gave him a sad smile as she wrapped her arms around him,a few more tears escaping her eyes.
“You can be such a diva sometimes but i’m gonna miss you like hell, Stanley…”
Then it was Richie,who tried to imitate Y/N’s voice but failed,causing everyone to burst out laughing.
“Don’t miss me too much trashmouth…”
Then, she warmly embraced Ben,“you’re gonna be a freakin’ model one day.” and Mike, saying “When i come back,you better be the town’s sheriff or else i’m gonna beat you up…”
She knew it was the last time looking at their faces. Nobody told her that,of course. If anything,her mother had promised her that she would return,eventually.
“When things get safe in Derry,i’m coming to get you.”
But Y/N was a pessimist. All she could see was a life full of misery in a house without windows,accompanied by someone who wouldn’t give a damn if she died. She knew herself more than anyone. And to her,it was just a fact that her life outside Derry wouldn’t last for long. Believe it or not,she had accepted it.
She also knew she wouldn’t be there to watch her friends defeat the beast. Yes,she was sure they would win the war. IT wasn’t gonna get away with all those murders this time. And even though the losers’ club wouldn’t be the same without her,that’s what Bill said,she highly doubted that the bond between them would break.
She got so lost in her thoughts,that she didn’t feel two arms being wrapped around her small form. It wasn’t until the person who owned them spoke into her ear,that she came back to her senses.
“Don’t go,puh-puh-please…” His voice was low and sounded desperate.
Y/N felt her chest tighten. She wanted to let it all out,the sobs,the screams,the thoughts that haunted her mind. But she couldn’t. She decided to try and stay as composed as possible. She didn’t want her friends to realize she was crying for them. She had always been the strong one,yet this past few minutes showed otherwise. But that’s how she wanted them to remember her,unbreakable till the end.
But when her body touched Bill’s,when he burried his warm face in her neck,she couldn’t help but cry. She tried to hold it in but failed miserably.
“You’re gonna be everything you want to be one day,i promise.” She said,her voice cracking.
“Y/N,we’re gonna be late!” Her mother’s voice slightly startled her and she immediately pulled away. So did Bill. The sadness on his face couldn’t be hid.
Y/N gave everyone a sad smile,as she started taking a few steps backwards.
“Always a loser?” shouted Richie and she nodded.
“Always a loser.” She repeated. Throwing one last glance at them,she turned around and started walking away. She put her right hand in her pocket,kicking some pebbles with her foot
“Billy,are you coming?” She heard Eddie ask.
“No,i’ll catch up with you guys l-l-ater.” He replied.
She stopped dead in her tracks,feeling like she couldn’t breathe.
Was he…Was Bill…
A hand softly took her wrist and slowly spun her around,almost as if the person was afraid to see her crying face.
Y/N frowned,her heart sinking. Why couldn’t he just let go? Why was he making things harder than they already were?
“I f-forgot to g-g-give you something.” He whispered,never letting go of her trembling hand.
“I don’t want you to give me anything,Billy. I won’t forget you.” She said,avoiding his gaze.
“N-n-no,i’ve b-b-been truh-trying to g-give you this s-since the day we m-m-met…”
Y/N looked up at him,confused.
“Your stuttering is getting worse,are you-”
She didn’t manage to finish her question because his soft lips were on hers. It was quick and rather she short but to Y/N,it meant the world. Not even in her dreams,had Bill Denbrough kissed her.
Even though the kiss was salty,due to her tears,her heart was beating so fast and her cheeks had flushed. Bill had her wrapped around his little fucking finger.
“Best friends don’t do that…” She mumbled when the boy pulled away.
“I guess they don’t.” he said,smiling.
“Jaysus Christ,Y/N! Come here,now!” Her mother seemed furious. She didn’t really care about what her daughter said or did. All she wanted was the schedule to be followed.
“That’s my call,i guess…” Y/N giggled and moved her hand away from Bill’s.
“Forever i-i-in m-my huh-heart,Y/N.” Bill said,his cheeks slightly pink.
“Forever in my heart,Bill.”
They both smiled at each other and saying goodbye,they took their seperate ways; Bill towards the road the others losers had followed. Y/N towards her mother’s car.
She didn’t know what life had in store for her. At that moment,maybe it didn’t even matter.
Y/N had gotten the best present a girl could ever ask for.
i’m just gonna copypaste what i posted in facebook
“ things didn’t go as planned
real talk here i wanted to leave my puffles in my igloo and go with one of them to the fort and wait with other penguins til’ 12:01 am then i remembered that all of them won’t go to the new island and would go back to the wild, so i wanted to say goodbye to them and set them free myself as fast as i could even if it sounds wrong this one is my favorite puffle(i adopted him when i was like 10 i didn’t know how to spell cookie). black puffles are my favorites, and this one i love him so fucking much you don’t know how i would draw him and even use him to vent and in the moment i was going to set him free, this appeared this was my last second on this goddamn game that has made me so happy and now i can’t close the tab because i’m looking at him with this error log and the operation blackout igloo music i’m crying uncontrollably “
“I’m going to live recklessly and take care of people who are bad mouthing me. I’m going to kill bast*** I don’t like. I’ll pick up girls at nightclubs. And I’ll sleep around changing girls every night. <…> Do you want to date with me, No Eul P.D.? Let’s say I die after three months. Just for three months. Deeply in love.”
“What I thought was that if you—maybe just once a year—if we could come here at the same time, just for an hour or something, then we could pretend we were close again—because we would be close, if you sat here and I sat just here in my world…"
“Yes, as long as I live, I’ll come back. Wherever I am in the world, I’ll come back here—”
“On Midsummer Day, at midday. As long as I live.”
"And if we—later on— if we meet someone that we like, and if we marry them, then we must be good to them, and not make comparisons all the time and wish we were married to each other instead… But just keep up this coming here once a year, just for an hour, just to be together…”
“I will love you forever, whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again…”
“And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one will ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you…”
*Phillip Pullman, His Dark Materials
I love His Dark Materials so much! I can’t wait to read the continuation <3 It’s one of the most beautiful stories and that damned last bit always makes me cry uncontrollably. I just can’t deal with the angst. I couldn’t decide which part of this conversation is more beautiful (meaning: makes me cry harder) so I’ve put both. I am literally in tears as I am writing this, omg…
I could really go for HDM AU that doesn’t necessarily follow the plot. Kingsman with daemons and witches and armoured bears I mean… I need it. Imagine last Kingsman test would be to go through Separation with their daemons… I have so many headcanons for that haha. I would love to make sense out of all of them one day.
Also, my cintiq is making me so angry recently. The colours are so messed up?? I have to balance them out on another screen and they are never correct. I’m so fed up with my art looking like poop after so much work ;__;