*cod

Alternate Video Game Titles

Mass Effect: Everything is cool and amazing and we are all gonna die.

Mass Effect 2: Interstellar Suicide Squad

Mass Effect 3: The lens flares will cover my tears.

Dragon Age Inquisition: Less Dragons More Suffering

Assassin’s Creed III: Angry child becomes Vengeful Adult

Assassin’s Creed IV: Mean Pirate becomes Somewhat Nice Pirate

Fallout 3: The world sucks and I can’t find my father.

Fallout 3 (Updated): The world sucks and my father is dead.

Fallout 4: The world sucks and I can’t find my kid.

Fallout 4 (Updated): The world sucks and my kid’s a dick.

Fallout New Vegas: Cowboys and slavers and anger and booze.

Spore: Make a penis monster and rule the galaxy.

Sims: Drown your people, rule their lives, delete the toilet.

Call of Duty (All of them): GUN BULLET GUN

Battlefield (All of them): GUN BULLET PLANE TANK GUN

Gears of War (All of them): Testosterone and Chainsaws

Halo (All of them): Kill Shit to find Ultra Shit

Minecraft: (Explore+Build+Die)^3

The Last of Us: Emotions Hurt More Than Zombies

Subnautica: Fuck the Ocean - Alien Edition

Until Dawn: Get Everyone Killed and Restart

Grand Theft Auto IV: My Cousin Got Me Killed

Grand Theft Auto V: San Andreas 2

Saint’s Row: Urban Gangs

Saint’s Row II: Ultra Gangs

Saint’s Row III: Criminal Syndicates

Saint’s Row IV: Governments (wait a second…)