*but you don't look sick!*

You know, I’m willing to bet that everyone with an invisible illness has been told “you don’t look sick!” At some point in their life. And here to tell you why that’s annoying is some poor bastard who was diagnosed 18 years ago!

1) The obvious implication of saying “but you don’t look sick!” Is “but you’re attractive!” Now, I love being told I’m hot as much as the next person, but why do people automatically assume that being chronically ill=unattractive? Yo, have you seen me? I’m sick as hell and just as attractive.

2) There’s implication that “Oh, but you look healthy!” Listen. Listen. People that think this way are probably the same ones that think skinny people are healthy. You don’t know what’s going on under that pretty skin. Organ damage? Sure! Insanely high blood pressure? Could be! Pain? Lots of pain??? So much pain??? HELLA.

3) Even people with severe symptoms are good at hiding them. Spoonies have to drag themselves out of bed and go about life every day, pretending to be okay. We’re master actors because we have to be. Don’t assume we don’t feel like hell under our smile.

4) It’s just… invalidating. I was three when I was diagnosed. I’ve never known anything other than “sick.” It’s a huge part of a chronically ill person’s life, and it feels as though people are trying to take that away by saying “you don’t look sick!” I am. And it took a long time to accept it, don’t make me feel bad again.

5) I do look sick. As well as spoonies can act, little things slip out. A grimace of pain, a limp, they way they hold themself. The way their hand shakes, eyes glazed over somewhat. You just aren’t looking.

6) You’re implying there’s something wrong with being sick. Don’t get me wrong, it sucks. There are things wrong with us, hence the sickness. But… We didn’t choose this. We can’t control it. Saying this makes it feel like it’s bad to be born this way, like we shouldn’t have been born at all, should have been born healthy. This one is hard to put into words, but it just… hurts to feel like you shouldn’t exist in the eyes of another, just because of your sickness.

I know I’ve missed some, so feel free to add more! I’d love to hear other people’s feelings toward being told this.


#when you leave your wind machine at home but the imperial army’s got you covered

Day 48 of #365Days
& Day 6 of Rizumo Week

“Demonic Powers”

Honestly, I wished for a scene like with Shiemi and Rin.
Even just a small panel where Izumo tells Rin she likes his flames or feeling comfortable with his flames.

OK, so I was doing @morshmalliver ’s b-day present and I realized the image was gone (like, shit, first the contracture now this) and as you can see the universe wants to kill me, so I was sketching again and I just couldn’t do it right and somehow it ended up in sad shit.

L.Y.I.N.G.G.G.G.G LMAO why don’t you go to NASA to go get yourself a Nobel Prize already you weight loss snowflake??? Other words that you qualify for are DENIAL, DISHONESTY WITH ONESELF, IGNORANCE and STUPIDITY….


“And none of this information is foreboding or directly relevant to what’s about to happen in any way whatsoever.”

I’m guessing the princess in Shirasaki castle is Tomoyo predecessor, because she has the bell and the amazing headpiece going on. 

I also want to make an intelligible comment about Kuropapa’s smile but all that’s coming to mind is holy shit. 


Goals, resolve, vices and stuff

Tuesday 17 October, 2017

I am optimistically wearing workout clothes; I’m thinking walk/run/weights but oh lawd the weather! (Our gym equipment is outside and only semi-sheltered, so even that will require steely resolve.) It is still very windy, wet & stormy this morning, although no longer gale-force & destructive. A lot of rain is forecast today - not the gentle sort I ran in last Tuesday - hard, wind-lashed rain; such a radical change after the idyllically sunny and warm weekend.

I put on workout clothes to signal my intent, to myself more than anyone else. But because I am sick, I am not going to add bad weather stress to my battling body, so rain rain give me a break. As per my earlier post, I just signed up for the five-race Perth Summer Trails Series. This will be an entirely new challenge. I’ve never run a trails event before. The first race is 11.8km and I am currently sitting on 5km grassy flat, so a training plan is required.

My Summer goal is to train for and complete this trail series. But to do that I will have to achieve an even bigger goal: Get my inflammatory bowel disease under control. Easier said than done, especially in the middle of a tenacious flare, I am about to start vedolizumab (Humira and Remicade have both failed me). It is slow-working but a different pathway; fingers crossed. In the meantime, I am relying on prednisolone to do the job but it hasn’t kicked in with its usual alacrity.

So what else can I do? Attaining goals requires effort and sacrifice. Let’s have a look:

  1. Diet - pretty solid; lots and lots of leafy greens, good oils, protein, seasonal fruits; very little in the way of empty carbs like bread and pasta. Need to: Keep it up.
  2. Supplements - the thought is that you don’t need them unless you have a deficiency; diet should be your go-to approach. Nonetheless, I am hedging my bets with some pro-gut, anti-inflammatory supplements like probiotics, prebiotics, tumeric, and Omega 3 fish oil, in addition to magnesium. Need to: Keep it up.
  3. Exercise - consistent; I have backed off a bit due to the fatigue that comes with ulcerative colitis and the current blood loss, but get something done most days. The challenge will be managing careful increases in volume and intensity that will get me to the finish line but not set me back. Need to: Step it up.
  4. Sleep& rest - despite being on prednisolone, my sleep is good; 7-8 hours every night. I am sensible in factoring in rest days for recovery after hard training efforts too. Need to: Keep it up.
  5. Hydration - on point; because of constant diarrhoea all day every day, I lose fluid and minerals like there’s no tomorrow. I have to keep on top of hydration and electrolytes or risk becoming a very sick puppy. Need to: Step it up with exercise/as the weather gets warmer.
  6. Meditation - room for improvement; I have been doing a breathing body scan every morning before rising (or at night if I am in pain), which is something. Need to: Step it up.
  7. Outlook - bright! #alwayssmiling is my motto, even when I’m not; fake it til you make it. Okay, you won’t necessarily get sympathy if you do hard things and don’t look sick, and sometimes all you want is a bit of understanding, but let’s face it, people don’t really want to be around a sad sack. To be brutally honest, they don’t want to know; it makes them feel bad. Oh I open up sometimes when I need some small words of kindness, and maybe two or three people might offer some encouragement - but not many! Foremost, I need my family to love and support me, and I can be honest with them (although I don’t want them to stress and worry about me). Need to: Keep it up.
  8. Vices - wine and sugar! If I am going to get well, I have to ditch these two insidious, inflammatory habits. I did Dry July and then some (a 42-day marathon of no alcohol whatsoever to raise money for cancer support services) but have subsequently slipped back onto the booze. Alcohol is so entrenched in society, that choosing abstinence or temperance involves not only exercising your own willpower, but withstanding relentless peer pressure and media triggers. I foolishly and flamboyantly publicly drank water from a pint glass the other night - talk about being pilloried! I just have to do this. For my life. As for sugar, in the scheme of things, I don’t really eat that much of it, but it creeps in. Too often I will accept a sweet treat I don’t even want out of politeness. This has to stop (a square of dark chocolate excepted - it’s good for you!) Nightly wine has to stop. Need to: Bloody well do it!

So there you have it. Let’s go!

I color coordinated my outfit and glasses with rage today

Just in time to go meet my negligent, transphobic doctor again. I don’t plan on being nice this time, not after my fun near-death experience. 🙃

Anyway, see you guys later for possible commission???

I hope you have a good day, with no weird massive bugs from Australia or anything like that. Let’s avoid those.


Nadalind | Nick Burkhardt x Adalind Schade

Grimm 1x17 - Love Sick | 6 of 6 

What have you done?  You killed me. - Adalind

You don’t look so dead. - Nick

I’m nothing now.  I don’t have any powers.  You’ve taken everything.  I’m just like everybody else.  I have nothing. - Adalind 


Wonder Woman! (If the hat fits…😉)
10 June 2017

My first run training session with ‘Girls Like Us’ is in the bag. I’m really pleased with my efforts! My UC was trashing me this morning so to get out and strive with a great bunch of gals was a big achievement. Bonus: it’s just down the road at Butlers so walking distance. I forgot to stop the Garmin straight away so the overall time recorded didn’t reflect my run time but I noted all my 400m times anyway. 😁

But oh dear my quads feel dead so I suspect they will be toast tomorrow. And oh bloody hell we all know how hard it is sitting down on the loo when that happens. May the quad gods help me! Maybe mega magnesium and the foam roller will at least. 😦

My recovery brunch was on point though: Smashed avocado on ciabata with multi-colored tomatoes, rocket & eggs. But look at me trying to be trendy serving it on the board at home. Lol it just falls off! 😂

My Girl & I went to see Wonder Woman in the afternoon. Loved it - good mix of action & humour. I guessed who the real Ares was of course but am still having trouble reconciling David Thewlis with the God of War after Remus Lupin in Harry Potter & the truly repellent Varga in Fargo. 😝

It’s only fitting that Wonder Woman was released on my birthday though. Just saying 😉.

I wrapped up a super Saturday with The Husb enjoying pizza al fresco under heaters at Rise in City Beach, where you can order off the menu or choose all your ingredients separately, as we did. But heeheehee, look at me, Saturday night drinking camomile tea! 😇

anonymous asked:

Megatron (Send me a character...)

Boy, you guys sure do want to know my opinions on this guy!  XD

First impression:  I’ll admit, I was really excited at first when I read that Megs was going to be an Autobot.  I thought that was pretty cool, and I’m a sucker for redemption arcs, plus he seemed charming and poetic so what’s not to like?

Impression now:  I?  Am??  Bitter???  XD  Okay, while I do enjoy a good redemption arc, I like to see, oh you know, what’s the word I’m looking for?  Oh, right, that’s it!  EFFORT!!!  Fragging effort!  You don’t get to slaughter entire planets for 4 BILLION YEARS and get off with a clean slate because you said “sorry”!!!  I don’t care if you’re “sorry”!  You freaking slaughtered entire planets for 4 billion years!  If you want to redeem Megatron, that’s fine, but for gods sake!  You have to make him work for it!  And I mean REALLY work for it!

Favorite moment: This one panel pretty much speaks for itself.

Idea for a story:  I call it, “Megatron goes to prison for the next 10 billion years”.

Unpopular opinion:  I fragging HATE the way this fandom seems to have this “Megatron can do no wrong” mentality, just because we don’t see any of his crimes in-panel, while characters like Getaway who by comparison are INFINITELY LESS TERRIBLE than a literal genocidal dictator are freaking despised because their actions are more “relatable”.  Bleh.  :P

Favorite relationship:  It tends to vary depending on how salty I’m feeling that day, but on a purely surface level, Megatron/Rodimus, Megatron/Magnus, and Megatron/Rung.

Favorite headcanon:  I think Nautica and Velocity are his favorites because of how smart they are and because they don’t hold the same bias towards him that the others do.

Yup. REBLOG if you’ve ever had trouble with this. I know I always feel so guilty if I need to take time to rest.

Things that will make family history: my aunt engineering a hot water bottle by actually pouring boiling water in an empty bottle of quality grappa because her house is full of fine wines, fine cheeses and 17th century Indonesian masks, but basic necessities - yeah, that’s beneath her.