guinevak asked:



Gives nose/forehead kisses

Riza. In remarkably possessive and quietly dommy manner, which makes Roy swoon.

Gets jealous the most

Neither one of them are actually much given to jealousy, but insofar as they are… … ….yeah it’s definitely Roy.

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

I’m not sure either one has ever been too drunk to drive in their life. But when it suits Roy to seem like he’s too drunk to drive, that’d be Riza.

Takes care of on sick days

Well, Roy’s the one who really really really enjoys getting to take care of Riza (and Riza’s got a very short list of people allowed to help her when she’s that kind of vulnerable – the only other person really on it is Rebecca, who is sometimes tasked with the Friend task of picking up meds and take out chicken soup and bringing it over. But Riza doesn’t want her to stay, and staying isn’t something Rebecca’s good at when it comes to sick people, either). Roy likes being around if Riza needs anything, and really – he finds the being unobtrusive restful. Riza’s more likely to make sure he has a thermos of soup and one of tea and a pitcher of water and medications to easy hand, ensure he can contact her and isn’t doing too bad, and then go to work. …Riza’s very efficient, but she’s never exactly what anyone could call doting.

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day

Huh. It’s a question. Amestris doesn’t have any saltwater ports, so that’d be a lake or a river or even something smaller… hm. Okay, the most likely to be true answer here is – Black Hayate. ZOOM goes the puppy, the instant he is let off leash.

Gives unprompted massages

Neither of them. Un-telegraphed touch is a giant Nope. (Also Riza often gets super uncomfortable with anyone, even Roy, touching her back or the nape of her neck, even over her clothes, unless she is in a place she feels is completely safe. She likes hand and foot massages though.)

Drives/rides shotgun

The shotgun is more literal than usual with Riza in it. …I had to make that joke. But really it’s about 65/35 in favor of Riza driving more.

Brings the other lunch at work

Riza. Roy is a godawful workaholic. (If he does go out, he’ll try to sneak her a dessert back if he can manage it with discretion or plausible deniability, but that’s different.)

Has the better parental relationship

There are not words for the degree to which this is Roy. Riza loved her father very very much, but that was not a good relationship for her, not at all. Meanwhile, Roy and Mme Christmas are embarrassingly gooshy in their weird sarcastic spy way, and have each other’s backs unconditionally. Roy adores her and she’s proud of him.

Tries to start role-playing in bed

Probably Roy. Goofus.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer

….yeah that’s probably Roy.

Still cries watching Titanic

…I’ve never seen Titanic the movie, so I really don’t know whose buttons it would push, if anyone’s. But it is true that Roy is a squooshy marshmallow whose throat gets tight and whose eyes get prickly at the drop of a hat, so.

Firmly believes in couples costumes

Rebecca. (Riza believes in Halloween costumes being scary. Roy thinks she goes seriously over the top, what is with the falling out eyeballs oh my god Riza why.)

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

“What do I do with an entire flowerstand’s worth of flowers?” Roy doesn’t mean anything by it. He just. Gets himself into these things.

Makes the other eat breakfast

…that’s about the only meal that either is good about consistently getting down in a reasonable and healthy manner unprompted. So. Neither? But Roy loves cooking for people he cares about, and breakfast is about the only part of the day with easily controlled time to do it in, so there’s that.

Remembers anniversaries

Both of them, but Roy’s the one who’s sentimental about it.

Brings up having kids

Roy wants kids so bad. So bad, you have no idea. Riza is probably the one who actually initiates that conversation, though, which is unsurprising, because Riza is the one who initiates most of their serious relationship conversations.

I was tagged by oxfordlunch. Though I’m certain I’ve done this before, I love these things, so here we are (so so so late but …)

1. Why did you choose your URL?

I was at the pub one evening, drinking old fashioneds with my friend my beta my partner in porn hannahrieu, discussing the beauty of fanfiction and Johnlock hell. At one point I announced that it was “so sick, yet so beautiful” and it became our tagline.

2. What is your middle name?


3. If you could own a fairy tale/fictional pet, what would it be?

An owl that I can cuddle and also ride around on

4. Favourite colour?


5. Favourite song?

Orphan Girl by Crooked Still

6. Top 5 fandoms?


7. Why do you enjoy tumblr?

The low budget porn