*anxitey*

If you’ve got anxiety issues clap your hands

*clap clap*

If you’re terrified of becoming an adult clap your hands

*SMACKS HANDS TOGETHER*

If you’re mad you weren’t prepared for this hell that is called Life, and disappointment plagues your every waking moment
If you’re ready to throw the towel in clap your hands

*clashes cymbals*

It’s 2am and I took 17 shots of vodka, just trying to forget your name. But the only name I forgot was mine and, drunk or sober, you’re the only thing on my mind.
—  I got drunk on love and this is the hangover
  • Me:*sleeping*
  • My brain:AFRAID
  • Me:hmm blah what?
  • Brain:AFRAID
  • Me:oh. OH. It's okay. We're safe. He's halfway across the country.
  • Brain:AFRAID
  • Me:come on, let's have juice and cookies and a Xanax and a blanket burrito
  • Brain:...afraid
  • Me:yes. I know, brain, I know.
  • (Living with PTSD/anxiety is like living with a small child.)
You are apart of me, there’s no me without you, I was a broken work of art before meeting you. When you came along that missing piece was restored and at that moment I realised you are what completes me. I only feel whole because of you, I really can’t lose you, I can’t be the broken work of art once more, your love is everything I’ve been searching for.
—  Nari Ioapo
8 small things I've learned in the past few months

1. any question that pops into your head that starts with “what if” does not mean anything.

2. if you have a thought relating to the future or anything that pops into your head that makes you anxious, stop what you’re doing and take 10 deep breaths.

3. any negative thought can be reinforced with a positive one, making life a little easier for you.

4. it’s not selfish to focus on what you want most of the time even if other people disagree, you’re only trying to make yourself happy.

5. you don’t have to do things because other people are doing them.

6. sometimes you grow out of your friendships and it’s okay not to feel guilty.

7. you don’t need anyone but yourself.

8. make your own definition of love.

The photo on the left was taken in November of 2014. It hangs on the wall going down the stairs which I pass everyday to get to my room. It’s a hard photo to look at. I was never a small girl, I was the girl that had thunder thighs and a jiggly tummy. In all the years of being a “bigger” girl I never looked like that. I was so inflated. I had just finished my final year in high school, went through a hard breakup, was on medication for anxiety that make me always hungry and I had just started working full time at a job that demanded a lot from me mentally. The girl on the right is 30lbs down. And man did I work my ass off for them. That picture was taken at the beginning of May 2015. I got my shit together and realized that I didn’t need a boy who never thought about anyone but himself. I switched medications and have gotten my anxiety to a point where I can manage. I’ve gotten good at my job, really good and the girls I work with are proud of me. I may not always eat the best but at the end of the day it gets written down in my little book and I’m holding myself accountable. I go to the gym, not always but at least 3 times a week. I’ve become stronger. I’ve become stronger mentally, physically and emotionally. I’ve gone from fitting into a tight 16 to a size 13. This is only the start of what I know I’m capable of.