Summary: Right before signing the divorce papers, Dan and Phil get on a car accident, making their lives take an unexpected turn. Waking up on a hospital the next day, they realize they don’t remember absolutely anything about themselves: their families, kids, their names and most importantly, each other. They are given a second chance to know each other all over again, find the lost love and passion and throw behind the years of fighting and screaming at each other. Will they make it?
A/N: You can see I rushed the ending and it was so dramatic MacKenzie Falls wanted to use the idea for an episode but it gets better I promise
“Papa, where is daddy?” Evan’s nudges and his soft voice
were enough to wake Phil up. He opened his eyes only to find Evan sitting on
the couch, his grey eyes wide open and watching him curiously. He glanced at
the time and noticed that it had been like two hours since Dan left. And
considering him falling asleep on the couch, wrapped by a blanket with the TV
on, he figured out he had stayed awake to wait for him instead of just texting,
which he didn’t do because his pride didn’t let him. He might have been the one
who had asked for the divorce but that didn’t mean he stopped caring and loving
Dan. It was true he was still did love him. But it didn’t matter much now since
they would be trying to forget about each other’s existence in two days.
“Evan it’s like one in the morning.” Phil said, putting the
toddler on his lap. He was carrying his llama plushy, that Dan had insisted on
buying the day Evan got to their house, his onesie was slightly unzipped and
the blond hair falling messily on his forehead. As much as Phil hated to admit
it, Evan had a more special connection with Dan than he had with Phi. He loved
the times when he was standing by the door, watching Dan playing the piano with
Evan sitting on his lap and him staring amazed at his dad’s fingers moving
quickly on the keys, he loved watching Dan trying to put Evan to sleep by
singing softly to him or reading the fairy tales in dramatic voices to make Evan
giggle, he loved coming home and finding the two fallen asleep on the couch
with some anime playing in the background. It was still painful to Phil he
would never have the chance to see these things again, not wake up every day by
Dan’s side and just not having him around all the time. “Why aren’t you
“I couldn’t sleep.” He said, snuggling closer to Phil and
resting his little head on Phil’s chest. “You and dad were yelling downstairs
so I cried and Julie put me to sleep and I woke up again. Papa, were you
fighting because of me?”
“No, of course not Evan. We love you, why would we fight because
“Because I spilled milk on dad’s suit. I didn’t mean to,
please don’t yell at daddy.” And then Phil swore he could heart his heart break
in a million pieces. He held the boy closer to him, the tears threatening to
spill, as hugging him would be the last thing he was going to do. He didn’t
want to do this. He wanted to work things out with Dan, he wanted to make this
work. But sadly he couldn’t.
“It’s not because of you bear. It’s because of me, you don’t
have to do with anything that’s happening.” He explained to the boy.
“Why are you fighting papa?” Evan asked again. Phil wiped
the tears forming on his eyes and started to play with Evan’s hair while the
kid just stared at him.
“People stop loving each other at a point.” He said with a
forced smile. “But we love you, Jenny and Julie very much, don’t forget that.
Just because we are fighting doesn’t mean we don’t love you okay?”
“But you don’t love each other?” Came the next question,
followed by a yawn. He loved Dan, he loved him to death. He loved his eyes and
his bright smile and the dimple on the side of his rosy cheeks. He loved his
curly hair, he loved his hyena laugh, the sparkle on his eyes when he was
excited or happy, he loved that facial expression when he watched the kids. He
loved everything about him. But he wasn’t sure if Dan felt the same.
“Something like that.” Phil answered with a chuckle. “Now
why don’t we go to sleep? It’s pretty late.”
Evan nodded so Phil lifted him up and carried him upstairs.
His head was resting on Phil’s shoulder and his chubby, short arms were wrapped
around his neck. Kicking the room’s door open, Phil entered the room and
carefully put Evan on his bed, wrapping his Winnie the Pooh blanket around him.
“We all love you too papa.” He said slowly. Phil smiled
widely, like he hadn’t smiled in months and kissed his cheek. He certainly
didn’t have the heart to separate Dan and him after tonight’s conversation.
From what Phil’s lawyer had told him, he was the one who was more likely to
take custody of the children unless he wished otherwise and now Phil was
thinking of taking custody of Jenny and let Dan live with Evan. He knew that
Dan would be absolutely crushed if he had to meet the kids only on weekends so
it would be better if he could take custody of the little one.
“Goodnight bear.” He whispered slowly turning off the light
and shutting the door. He got back on the couch and glanced at the time again.
Dan was probably on some bar or, Phil tried to avoid thinking, with Monica.
Just the thought of someone touching Dan making him feel happier than Phil ever
did, made him want to scream and his stomach twitch in anger. But it was
useless. Dan stopped being his and Phil stopped being Dan’s long time ago.
“Another one Dan?” Freddie smiled sympathetically at the
brunet who downed the God knows what number of shots for the night. Dan just
nodded and handed the elder his empty glass which, despite the large number of
people in the bar, was filled with the brown liquor immediately. Dan’s vision
was blurry and he was feeling that burning sensation on his throat every time a
glass was emptied but he didn’t give a fuck. All he wanted was to drink and
drink until he forgot his own name. As much as he wanted to act all careless
and ignorant about the situation, the truth was that it was hurting him the
most. The realization that Phil wasn’t going to be his was hurting him, the
realization that the fact that how much they loved each other when they were
young didn’t even matter anymore, the endless hours of talking on skype about
everything that came to their minds since they lived far away from each other,
the three hours of breakfast since they took forever to eat their cereal, too
busy talking and playing footsies and just cuddling on the couch.
And then he remembered the first time he met Phil, how his
hands were sweating nervously, his legs were shaking uncontrollably and his
face was covered in a deep shade of red. He was more nervous about this than he
had been his whole life. Then when he saw him for the first time, waiting at
the gate with his hands shoved in his black jeans’ pockets, wearing that stupid
plaid that looked so good on him and the hair straightened to perfection, Dan
tried to hold himself back not to run and hug Phil’s soul out of him. But he
couldn’t so he ran as fast as he could and embraced Phil in a bone crushing hug
that he returned with the same amount of love, as it was the last thing they
were doing. That’s when they shared their first kiss that Dan could never, ever
forget: short, sweet and that spoke itself the words that they couldn’t say. And
when he left after the amazing, unforgettable days spent with Phil, he
remembered trying to hide the fact that he was crying from Phil who didn’t care
about it as much as Dan did, the tears filling his eyes and how he tried to
warm up the situation by smiling.
“It’s not like we will never meet again.” He remembered Phil
saying with a chuckle. Dan had nodded, kissed Phil goodbye and had gotten into
the train quickly so he could cry in peace. An ironic laugh escaped his lips.
Here he was today, drinking before divorcing the same man he was thinking
about. The man he still loved, the man he secretly wished would change his mind
in the last minute even though he knew that was impossible in any way.
“Daniel Howell, is that you?” A voice brought him back to
reality, making him turn around lazily. The man who had spoken had jet black
hair, his brown eyes sparkled brightly under the strong lights on the ceiling
and he was wearing the typical family-man-with-two-kids outfit. He was staring
at Dan, not trying to hide the fact that he was amused by his state.
“Last time I checked.” Dan bit back sarcastically, taking a
sip of his drink while looking at the man carefully, trying to figure out who
the fuck was he. Maybe someone from the BBC but he was too drunk to even
notice, someone from university or some cousin he always ignored at family
gatherings. “Who do I have the pleasure to talk to?”
“Don’t you remember me?” He asked. Yeah someone from
“If I had, I wouldn’t ask you for your name.” ‘You dingus’
he wanted to add but bit back the words as the man just raised his eyebrows at
“Once a sarcastic twat, always a sarcastic twat. I’m
Richard?” He sighed, as Dan just shook his head. “Richard from high school.
“Nope, it doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”
“How can you not remember me?” Richard insisted, now making
Dan mad. He could just scoop away and let Dan drink, since when was that so
“Well I’m sorry Richard, how disrespectful of me to not
remember some prick from high school when I am dealing with my own problems. I
should be buried alive for my mistake.” He said bitterly, finishing the drink.
Richard only chuckled. He didn’t even ring a bell, but Dan could bet his life
he was one of the people that beat the shit out of him in the bathrooms just
because rumors had it going that he was gay. Well not exactly gay, but he
didn’t expect a group of dickheads from year eleven to understand the concept
of being bi. To them, he was the ‘fag’, ‘sissy’ and his absolute favorite ‘gay
“Yeah, heard you and Lester were getting divorced.” He said
randomly, making Dan want to throw the glass on his face and punch the daylight
out of him. “It didn’t come as a surprise really.”
“And since when was that your fucking business?”
“Since I heard that the little sissy from high school was a
grown up, married fag. With another, uglier fag.” He said with a smile. And that
was it. That was the sentence that made Dan’s eyes light up with anger and rage
and without knowing how it happened, Richard was pushed forcefully to the
counter, his head hitting the wooden surface hard and with Dan’s hands still on
“Talk about Phil like that one more fucking time and I’m
going to fucking kill you.” He threatened, not caring about Freddie trying to
separate them or the chant of ‘fight’ surrounding them. What was this, middle
school? Eventually he let go of him, leaving him with a terrified look on his
face. “I might say that there is a reason that the nickname for Richard is
Then he tried walking away and go home, lock himself in his
room and eat ice cream while watching some movie to distract himself when he
felt something hard hit his head, then he collapsed on the floor as everything
“I can’t believe you got into a fight!” Phil pushed the
doors open angrily, heading over to his car with his fists clenched into balls
and Dan following him like a lost puppy. When Phil was waiting for him
concerned at home, how dare he get drunk and into fights with strangers. At
four fucking am. “You know what a delightful experience is when you are fucking
waiting for hours for your husband to get back then your own daughter wakes you
up in the middle of the night, telling you that you got into a fight?”
“I’m sorry okay.” Dan shouted, sitting on the front seat and
slamming the door behind him. “He called us fags. What was I supposed to do?
Buy him another drink while we both run on a green field filled with pretty
flowers and unicorns?”
“You could just ignore him and not even come here in the
first place, how does that sound.”
“I can’t just ignore things and problems when they are there
Phil, I’m not you.” Dan said bitterly. He was the asshole for defending both of
“Yeah let’s make this about Phil.” He replied, starting the
engine. “Because Phil was the one sleeping around and Phil was definitely the
one going drinking until four am. Dan is the angelic creature that does nothing
“I’m sorry. He called us fags, he insulted you and I was
drunk. You didn’t expect me to just stay there did you?”
“This is like the ‘I lost my homework because I got into a
fight with someone that said you weren’t the best teacher’ kind of explanation.”
Phil rolled his eyes, turning at him. “I hope you don’t do these kinds of stuff
when you are living with Eric or I’ll personally come and kick your ass.”
“Eyes on the road Phil.” Dan mumbled, trying to not avoid
the subject. But just when he thought that maybe they wouldn’t talk about this
his phone went off on his pocket. Ignoring Phil’s huffing, he unlocked and
stared in horror at the text.
You’re on my list of things to do tonight.-M
that?” Phil asked, trying to sound uninterested. Dan put the phone back to his
pocket before Phil could catch a glimpse of the text. He had told Monica that
it was a one night thing, why was she texting him at four am?
would care about.” He replied, looking out the window but Phil wasn’t giving up
so easily tonight.
“Even if it
was?” Dan responded.
fuck’s sake!” He yelled, turning at him. “Really?”
at the fucking road.”
tell me what the fuck to do.” He spat back angrily, turning at Dan and reaching
for his phone. The next he heard was a loud thump, Dan shouting his name and
his head hitting the car’s window. Then he felt nothing.