*amnesia

vine

aw baby :(( the little voice crack

8

One year of the  Amnesia music video.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape.

‘Cause I’m not fine at all.

Signs as 5SOS Songs

Aries: Amnesia 

Taurus: Heartbreak Girl

Gemini: Don’t Stop

Cancer: Long Way Home

Leo: Beside You

Virgo: Good Girls

Libra: Voodoo Doll

Scorpio: She Looks So Perfect 

Sagittarius: Try Hard

Capricorn: Kiss Me Kiss Me

Aquarius: Everything I Didn’t Say

Pisces: Out of My Limit

with each passing day, luke is becoming more and more vocally talented and soon it’s going to come to that point where his voice will be able to cure cancer and make the most depressed people happy once again

Amnesia: Chapter Two

Summary: Right before signing the divorce papers, Dan and Phil get on a car accident, making their lives take an unexpected turn. Waking up on a hospital the next day, they realize they don’t remember absolutely anything about themselves: their families, kids, their names and most importantly, each other. They are given a second chance to know each other all over again, find the lost love and passion and throw behind the years of fighting and screaming at each other. Will they make it?

A/N: You can see I rushed the ending and it was so dramatic MacKenzie Falls wanted to use the idea for an episode but it gets better I promise

Last Chapter

“Papa, where is daddy?” Evan’s nudges and his soft voice were enough to wake Phil up. He opened his eyes only to find Evan sitting on the couch, his grey eyes wide open and watching him curiously. He glanced at the time and noticed that it had been like two hours since Dan left. And considering him falling asleep on the couch, wrapped by a blanket with the TV on, he figured out he had stayed awake to wait for him instead of just texting, which he didn’t do because his pride didn’t let him. He might have been the one who had asked for the divorce but that didn’t mean he stopped caring and loving Dan. It was true he was still did love him. But it didn’t matter much now since they would be trying to forget about each other’s existence in two days.

“Evan it’s like one in the morning.” Phil said, putting the toddler on his lap. He was carrying his llama plushy, that Dan had insisted on buying the day Evan got to their house, his onesie was slightly unzipped and the blond hair falling messily on his forehead. As much as Phil hated to admit it, Evan had a more special connection with Dan than he had with Phi. He loved the times when he was standing by the door, watching Dan playing the piano with Evan sitting on his lap and him staring amazed at his dad’s fingers moving quickly on the keys, he loved watching Dan trying to put Evan to sleep by singing softly to him or reading the fairy tales in dramatic voices to make Evan giggle, he loved coming home and finding the two fallen asleep on the couch with some anime playing in the background. It was still painful to Phil he would never have the chance to see these things again, not wake up every day by Dan’s side and just not having him around all the time. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” He said, snuggling closer to Phil and resting his little head on Phil’s chest. “You and dad were yelling downstairs so I cried and Julie put me to sleep and I woke up again. Papa, were you fighting because of me?”

“No, of course not Evan. We love you, why would we fight because of you?”

“Because I spilled milk on dad’s suit. I didn’t mean to, please don’t yell at daddy.” And then Phil swore he could heart his heart break in a million pieces. He held the boy closer to him, the tears threatening to spill, as hugging him would be the last thing he was going to do. He didn’t want to do this. He wanted to work things out with Dan, he wanted to make this work. But sadly he couldn’t.

“It’s not because of you bear. It’s because of me, you don’t have to do with anything that’s happening.” He explained to the boy.

“Why are you fighting papa?” Evan asked again. Phil wiped the tears forming on his eyes and started to play with Evan’s hair while the kid just stared at him.

“People stop loving each other at a point.” He said with a forced smile. “But we love you, Jenny and Julie very much, don’t forget that. Just because we are fighting doesn’t mean we don’t love you okay?”

“But you don’t love each other?” Came the next question, followed by a yawn. He loved Dan, he loved him to death. He loved his eyes and his bright smile and the dimple on the side of his rosy cheeks. He loved his curly hair, he loved his hyena laugh, the sparkle on his eyes when he was excited or happy, he loved that facial expression when he watched the kids. He loved everything about him. But he wasn’t sure if Dan felt the same.

“Something like that.” Phil answered with a chuckle. “Now why don’t we go to sleep? It’s pretty late.”

Evan nodded so Phil lifted him up and carried him upstairs. His head was resting on Phil’s shoulder and his chubby, short arms were wrapped around his neck. Kicking the room’s door open, Phil entered the room and carefully put Evan on his bed, wrapping his Winnie the Pooh blanket around him.

“We all love you too papa.” He said slowly. Phil smiled widely, like he hadn’t smiled in months and kissed his cheek. He certainly didn’t have the heart to separate Dan and him after tonight’s conversation. From what Phil’s lawyer had told him, he was the one who was more likely to take custody of the children unless he wished otherwise and now Phil was thinking of taking custody of Jenny and let Dan live with Evan. He knew that Dan would be absolutely crushed if he had to meet the kids only on weekends so it would be better if he could take custody of the little one.

“Goodnight bear.” He whispered slowly turning off the light and shutting the door. He got back on the couch and glanced at the time again. Dan was probably on some bar or, Phil tried to avoid thinking, with Monica. Just the thought of someone touching Dan making him feel happier than Phil ever did, made him want to scream and his stomach twitch in anger. But it was useless. Dan stopped being his and Phil stopped being Dan’s long time ago.

“Another one Dan?” Freddie smiled sympathetically at the brunet who downed the God knows what number of shots for the night. Dan just nodded and handed the elder his empty glass which, despite the large number of people in the bar, was filled with the brown liquor immediately. Dan’s vision was blurry and he was feeling that burning sensation on his throat every time a glass was emptied but he didn’t give a fuck. All he wanted was to drink and drink until he forgot his own name. As much as he wanted to act all careless and ignorant about the situation, the truth was that it was hurting him the most. The realization that Phil wasn’t going to be his was hurting him, the realization that the fact that how much they loved each other when they were young didn’t even matter anymore, the endless hours of talking on skype about everything that came to their minds since they lived far away from each other, the three hours of breakfast since they took forever to eat their cereal, too busy talking and playing footsies and just cuddling on the couch.

And then he remembered the first time he met Phil, how his hands were sweating nervously, his legs were shaking uncontrollably and his face was covered in a deep shade of red. He was more nervous about this than he had been his whole life. Then when he saw him for the first time, waiting at the gate with his hands shoved in his black jeans’ pockets, wearing that stupid plaid that looked so good on him and the hair straightened to perfection, Dan tried to hold himself back not to run and hug Phil’s soul out of him. But he couldn’t so he ran as fast as he could and embraced Phil in a bone crushing hug that he returned with the same amount of love, as it was the last thing they were doing. That’s when they shared their first kiss that Dan could never, ever forget: short, sweet and that spoke itself the words that they couldn’t say. And when he left after the amazing, unforgettable days spent with Phil, he remembered trying to hide the fact that he was crying from Phil who didn’t care about it as much as Dan did, the tears filling his eyes and how he tried to warm up the situation by smiling.

“It’s not like we will never meet again.” He remembered Phil saying with a chuckle. Dan had nodded, kissed Phil goodbye and had gotten into the train quickly so he could cry in peace. An ironic laugh escaped his lips. Here he was today, drinking before divorcing the same man he was thinking about. The man he still loved, the man he secretly wished would change his mind in the last minute even though he knew that was impossible in any way.

“Daniel Howell, is that you?” A voice brought him back to reality, making him turn around lazily. The man who had spoken had jet black hair, his brown eyes sparkled brightly under the strong lights on the ceiling and he was wearing the typical family-man-with-two-kids outfit. He was staring at Dan, not trying to hide the fact that he was amused by his state.

“Last time I checked.” Dan bit back sarcastically, taking a sip of his drink while looking at the man carefully, trying to figure out who the fuck was he. Maybe someone from the BBC but he was too drunk to even notice, someone from university or some cousin he always ignored at family gatherings. “Who do I have the pleasure to talk to?”

“Don’t you remember me?” He asked. Yeah someone from university.

“If I had, I wouldn’t ask you for your name.” ‘You dingus’ he wanted to add but bit back the words as the man just raised his eyebrows at him.

“Once a sarcastic twat, always a sarcastic twat. I’m Richard?” He sighed, as Dan just shook his head. “Richard from high school. Richard Watson?”

“Nope, it doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”

“How can you not remember me?” Richard insisted, now making Dan mad. He could just scoop away and let Dan drink, since when was that so goddamn hard?

“Well I’m sorry Richard, how disrespectful of me to not remember some prick from high school when I am dealing with my own problems. I should be buried alive for my mistake.” He said bitterly, finishing the drink. Richard only chuckled. He didn’t even ring a bell, but Dan could bet his life he was one of the people that beat the shit out of him in the bathrooms just because rumors had it going that he was gay. Well not exactly gay, but he didn’t expect a group of dickheads from year eleven to understand the concept of being bi. To them, he was the ‘fag’, ‘sissy’ and his absolute favorite ‘gay lord’.

“Yeah, heard you and Lester were getting divorced.” He said randomly, making Dan want to throw the glass on his face and punch the daylight out of him. “It didn’t come as a surprise really.”

“And since when was that your fucking business?”

“Since I heard that the little sissy from high school was a grown up, married fag. With another, uglier fag.” He said with a smile. And that was it. That was the sentence that made Dan’s eyes light up with anger and rage and without knowing how it happened, Richard was pushed forcefully to the counter, his head hitting the wooden surface hard and with Dan’s hands still on his collar.

“Talk about Phil like that one more fucking time and I’m going to fucking kill you.” He threatened, not caring about Freddie trying to separate them or the chant of ‘fight’ surrounding them. What was this, middle school? Eventually he let go of him, leaving him with a terrified look on his face. “I might say that there is a reason that the nickname for Richard is dick.”

Then he tried walking away and go home, lock himself in his room and eat ice cream while watching some movie to distract himself when he felt something hard hit his head, then he collapsed on the floor as everything blacked out.

“I can’t believe you got into a fight!” Phil pushed the doors open angrily, heading over to his car with his fists clenched into balls and Dan following him like a lost puppy. When Phil was waiting for him concerned at home, how dare he get drunk and into fights with strangers. At four fucking am. “You know what a delightful experience is when you are fucking waiting for hours for your husband to get back then your own daughter wakes you up in the middle of the night, telling you that you got into a fight?”

“I’m sorry okay.” Dan shouted, sitting on the front seat and slamming the door behind him. “He called us fags. What was I supposed to do? Buy him another drink while we both run on a green field filled with pretty flowers and unicorns?”

“You could just ignore him and not even come here in the first place, how does that sound.”

“I can’t just ignore things and problems when they are there Phil, I’m not you.” Dan said bitterly. He was the asshole for defending both of them now?

“Yeah let’s make this about Phil.” He replied, starting the engine. “Because Phil was the one sleeping around and Phil was definitely the one going drinking until four am. Dan is the angelic creature that does nothing wrong.”

“I’m sorry. He called us fags, he insulted you and I was drunk. You didn’t expect me to just stay there did you?”

“This is like the ‘I lost my homework because I got into a fight with someone that said you weren’t the best teacher’ kind of explanation.” Phil rolled his eyes, turning at him. “I hope you don’t do these kinds of stuff when you are living with Eric or I’ll personally come and kick your ass.”

“Eyes on the road Phil.” Dan mumbled, trying to not avoid the subject. But just when he thought that maybe they wouldn’t talk about this his phone went off on his pocket. Ignoring Phil’s huffing, he unlocked and stared in horror at the text.

You’re on my list of things to do tonight.-M

“Who is that?” Phil asked, trying to sound uninterested. Dan put the phone back to his pocket before Phil could catch a glimpse of the text. He had told Monica that it was a one night thing, why was she texting him at four am?

“Nobody you would care about.” He replied, looking out the window but Phil wasn’t giving up so easily tonight.

“Is that Monica?”

“Even if it was?” Dan responded.

“Dan for fuck’s sake!” He yelled, turning at him. “Really?”

“Phil, look at the fucking road.”

“You can’t tell me what the fuck to do.” He spat back angrily, turning at Dan and reaching for his phone. The next he heard was a loud thump, Dan shouting his name and his head hitting the car’s window. Then he felt nothing.