*100me

Why I think depictions of Zimbits having a relaxing time baking together is unrealistic; feat. me and my boyfriend:

me: *lists the 3 types of cookies we’ll be making for his office*
him: so there will be like 30 cookies?
me: we’re making 3 batches of cookies
him: so like 35?
me: closer to 70-80
him: cool because we need like 100

me: *explains how to measure brown sugar*
him: can’t i just scoop it?
me: no, you’ll have the wrong amount of sugar
him: i’m gonna scoop it

me: *explains how to measure flour*
him: can’t i just scoop it?
me: no, you’ll have the wrong amount of flour
him: why can’t we just change the amount of flour in recipes to reflect scooping it willy nilly
me: because we’ve measured flour this way since there was flour and it’s a little late to change it
him: i’m gonna scoop it

me: *notices he got cocoa powder in the container of flour*
me: *screams internally*

me: don’t hate me for asking this question, but did you mix the dough completely before you added the chocolate chips or did you just pour everything together and turn the mixer on?
him: …yes?

him: can i use that bowl?
me: i’m using it. i have to slowly mix the flour in, i can’t just dump it in
him: you can totally just dump it in
me: and i can totally just DUMP YOUR BODY IN THE RIVER

him: gosh, i’m glad baking so relaxing for you
me: IT NORMALLY IS UNLESS I’M DEALING WITH -
me: *realizes he’s been fucking with me all along*
me: *screams incoherently*