**tc

I would do everything to feel your pulse under my trembling fingers when fear is rushing through my veins, to make sure that you are with me.
To rest my head on your chest and feel your strong heartbeat beneath your ribs, the rhythm which is so utterly you that it would take my breath away.
—  // let me hear your melody
j.d.m.
I hate...

I hate this
I hate that I love the tightness in my lungs that happens whenever I see you
I hate that I love being able to nonchalantly say your first name now- even if it isn’t always in romantic context
I hate that I love the way people react when I explain some of our interactions
I hate that I love to wonder about you
I hate that I love almost everything about you
I hate that I love the person I’ve grown into because of your influence
I hate that I love the stupid minor details
I hate that I love this sickening feeling in my chest- where my heart beats too fast but the world goes in slow motion and yet I’m acutely aware of when my heart skips a beat when you smile or when I hear your laugh.
I hate how much I like you.
I hate that I’ve done this to myself
I hate that I want to blame you
And I hate that I think I love you
And I may not receive the answer I’m hoping for.
I hate that I have hope.

“Let me tell you a little secret,” she drunkenly slurred her words as he looked down at her with amusement twinkling in his sober ones. His lips twitched into a smirk as he nodded for her to continue, “for awhile, it hurt. It took me months to recover, to be able to look at you without tears streaming down my face, to be able to smile at you without it being forced, to be able to say your name without choking on my words. It took me awhile before I can finally close my eyes to find that you don’t haunt my dreams anymore, to find that you are not occupying my mind anymore, to find that you are not a part of my thoughts anymore.”


She gave a nervous giggle before she stumbled over her feet, “it took me awhile. But I got there. I don’t know exactly how, but I did. Now, I don’t look at you the same anymore, I no longer put you on a pedestal, and when you are mentioned, I don’t cringe the way I used to.”


Her eyes traveled down his body before she bit her lip, “you have become a stranger to me and I don’t know whether or not to take that as a bad thing. Yet, here you are, helping me out of a bar because I can’t take a step without puking and all I can think about is how I don’t want you to touch me. I don’t want your help, I don’t want your pity, I don’t want your sympathy, I don’t even want you to look at me. You hurt me, you realize that, don’t you? You tore apart my heart and you threw the shredded pieces into the river so they can never be put back together. You ripped my heart out of my chest before slowly eating away at my soul. You fucked me up. You really fucked me up and I am trying to convince myself that it wasn’t that bad, that I am better now, that I can finally sleep at night. But I cannot even convince myself; nonetheless, you.”

—  Jennie B. // My voice cracked when I told him that I was over it and I fucking hate that not even my body can lie to him
3

The Crimes Of Amityville Horror

The crimes that happened in 112 Ocean Avenue, Long Island, gave us a best selling book, a box office hit movie and many other sequels.

At around 3am on the 13th of November 1974, 23 year Ronald Defeo Jr murdered the 6 members of his family, his mother, father, two sisters and two brothers. He was instantly taken into police custody for his safety after making up many stories, but the following day he confessed to his crimes. In 1975 Ronald faced trial, he claimed he heard voices which told him to kill. His defence team pointed out that he was diagnosed with anti social personality disorder and abused heroin and lsd. Defeo had a volatile relationship with his father, and first he claimed his sister killed his father, then the mother killed the rest and Ronald killed his mum. The jury didn’t care and found him guilty, he was sentenced to life in prison. All parole requests have been denied.

The Lutz Family

In December 1975, George and Kathy Lutz moved into the home with their three children. Its reported they endured horrific paranormal experiences, one being George kept waking up just after 3am, the same time of the murders. After 28 days they moved out, it’s the Lutz events that made Jay Anson have a best selling book and a trail of movies.

10

Theatre Challenge →4/8 songs 

Gimme, gimme that thing called love
I crave it

Gimme, gimme that thing called love
I’ll brave it 

Gimme Gimme from Thoroughly Modern Millie [x]

How is it possible
that I cannot sleep at night
because I miss you more
than my heart can take
while you probably
don’t even realize
that we haven’t seen each other
for a while?
—  // excerpt from a book I’ll never write
j.d.m.

Chapter 3 Page 20

Erik, no. Stop. You are making her regret starting a conversation with you….again

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10

My mom has no computer or Internet access to tempt me into the night. All that’s left for me is just ordinary analog sleep, ending the day’s loop.
You might not think it’s a way to live, but why not? Repeating the same tasks each day without even having to think about them, isn’t that what everybody does? […] Isn’t that where it’s comfortable? In the sameness?

2

This Day In Crime History
Ed Gein Dies

On July 26th 1984, American murderer and body snatcher Ed Gein died aged 77 at the Mendota Mental Health Institute.

Ed Gein committed his crimes around Plainfield, Wisconsin. Gein’s crimes became notorious when authorities discovered he exhumed corpses from graveyards, and made trophies and keepsakes from their bones and skin. Gein confessed to killing two women. At his first trial he was found unfit to stand, but in 1968 he was found guilty but legally insane and sentenced to a psychiatric hospital.

In popular culture, Ed Gein’s crimes have been used. Silence Of The Lambs, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Rob Zombies ‘House Of 1000 Corpses’