If someone hasn’t told you that they identify as a mom or dad, especially if they’re part of an LGBTQIA+ family, it’s a good idea to not assume.

Identity is deeply important to many people, and how we identify with our children is no exception. The norm in our culture is to assume that every parent that we read as a woman is a mom, and every parent that we read as a man is a dad. The reality, however, is far more complex.

In my family, my wife and I both identify as mothers. Other families do it differently! I know of two gay men who both go by “daddy” with their toddlers, and differentiate based on context. One lesbian couple feels very strongly that one of them is the “mom” and the other is the “dad,” while another both go by “mama,” but also use their first names. Some parents are deeply uncomfortable with gendered parenting titles, and prefer to go by “baba” or “mapa.”

And while it might feel awkward at first, you make it so much easier for LGBTQIA+ parents when you show us respect and honor our actual identities!

It only takes a second to ask “What do your kids call you?” or “Do you like to be called a mom, or something else?” but it makes a difference.

—  7 Ways to Be a Better Ally to LGBTQIA+ Parents | Katherine DM Clover for Everyday Feminism

Happy Ace Week! 

Rowan is both ace and aromantic. She’s a hexer (witch) with a past, but she keeps her cards close to her chest. At first she seems brusque and even a little mean, quick to put others in their place. 

For those that know her well, though, she’s straightforward, fiery, and ruled by her emotions. She is deeply (even dangerously) protective of those she loves. She has a strong sense of morality that may or may not match with the social norms she lives with, and isn’t afraid to fight for what she believes in. She’s also agnostic in a world where religion is a central facet of life.

She’s also very, very short, and loves pretty clothes.

Yellow Hearts is about three kids who make an ill-advised (but well-intentioned) deal with a demon in the woods one day. Twenty years later, Levi, Rowan, and Alder meet again to find out their past has caught up to them. But a lot changes in twenty years, and they aren’t as innocent as they used to be. 

Themes: queer romance, found family, mystery

Question for History students familiar with Chicago Style:

I’ve only ever used MLA and APA, but my professor’s instructions seem very…contradictory to everything I’ve learned about writing. (I used to be an English major but have written papers for a lot of different subjects.)

It seems…wrong to me to put quotes around what my professor is describing as essentially a very close paraphrase. Throwing quotes around things authors haven’t *actually* said seems academically dishonest and manipulative in my opinion, but I’m not sure if this practice is the norm for Chicago Style or just my teacher having vastly different opinions about writing than I do.

Also, wtf am I supposed to do with “you must quote non-quotes but also you’re not allowed to use quotes in this essay”? I have NEVER had a professor explicitly ban quotes in an essay. I just??


Shame on the EU Parliamentarians who cannot to protect or do any advocacy for their ex-Parliamentarian colleague Feleknas Uca who is being attacked and humiliated by Erdogan’s terrorist state!

The day that Democracy, values and norms of EU are entirely fucked up, and yet the whole EU is watching those scenes as entertaining images, instead of taking an action on the biggest curse on whole Middle-East: Erdogan and it’s terrorist state!

Who is Feleknas Uca?

She (born 17 September 1976) is a Yazidi politician active in Germany and Turkey. From 1999 to 2009, she was member of the European Parliament from Germany, serving with Die Linke. Feleknas Uca was at one time the world’s only Yazidi parliamentarian until the Iraqi legislature was elected in 2005. In June 2015, she was elected as a Member of Parliament in Turkey representing (Amed) Diyarbakır.

Conversations you should have with your significant other early in a relationship, somehow, in some way: how much each of you cares about various anniversaries and to what extent you’re expecting each other to focus on them.

Like I’m reading a fic and character A is freaking out on character B for not remembering the one month anniversary of the day they moved in together and I’m just…what. I would never care about that. I would never celebrate that. Character B is not a villain here, to me, they’re entirely rational. But to Character A (and the author), they’ve transgressed a social norm, obviously.

Like there is no standard expectation of how much you should care on these things? You do have to work that out within your relationship?

Communication about expectations remains important in all things.

madameandeve  asked:

You can completely ignore this but I saw your tags on David S. Pumpkins and I have A Lot of thoughts. I love David S. Pumpkins so much?? I can't explain it. It's the kind of love that just is. I really want to try to do a critical analysis on the positive reaction to him, like is it because the skit interrupts horror and the expected fear it entails-because when a person watches a scary movie or goes to a Haunted House they're making a conscious choice to participate in a manufactured narrative

of horror/suspense. The creation of David S. Pumpkins, who as harmless and fun(!) as he is, actually elicits some of the same tones recognized in classic horror seen in his oddity and the confusion he draws from the people in the elevator. Most of David Pumpkins illustrates the core of horror in his deviation of social norms-the people he dances for came to be scared. They expected to be scared but only within their own societal definition of what is scary The people even experience relief when they later encounter stereotypically scary images because it falls within their expectations. While the little girl and chainsaw were terrifying, their familiarity gives them a sense of safety that fails to include David S. Pumpkins because of his unpredictableness. The true terror the characters face is positioned at the end of the sketch, when David S. Pumpkins deviates from his own script and steps inside the elevator which can now be viewed as a metaphor for the dichotomy between oddity and and familiarity (look at the choice of an elevator as a vehicle for the story. Elevators can only travel in two directions, such as one between ‘good’ and ‘evil.’ There is no space for the grey area of David S. Pumpkin’s funky dance moves and his sureness of himself and will to not be defined). David S. Pumpkins is enjoyable because he subverts the horror genre and subsequently makes people question what actually terrifies them. Also, the music! His costume! He’s a nonlinear sequel to the CW dancing Pumpkin!! I’m sorry if this is A Lot, it’s five a.m and I have a lot to say about David S. Pumpkins. I laughed so hard the first time I saw the sketch I could not breathe. I startled my dog. 

@madameandeve this is everything I’ve ever wanted in life

“every girl is gonna be harley quinn for halloween now” I KNOW!!! ISN’T THAT GREAT?! Little girls come into work all the time asking for Harley Quinn dolls!!! Some of them sit and talk to other girls and make new friends because of female superheroes and comic books!!! Parents are coming in being like “well she wants a batman doll but I don’t agree with it” like shut up!!! This is great!!! Kids are getting into comic books and making new friends and being happy!!! Let girls love Harley Quinn and let girls get into comic books this is fantastic news!!! Let boys love Harley Quinn!!! Let girls love Batman!!! Let kids develop their own personal interest without forcing stupid gender norms on them!!!

Interesting post by Adam Grant. 

“ If you’ve ever wondered which countries have the most introverted vs. extraverted norms, here’s a map of the data from 51 cultures.”

Just because I really want to give my two cents on this post

Women being forced to enter the draft is law, shaving your legs, pubes and armpits is just the social norm and beauty standards. You’re not forced to do that by any means, that’s just what beauty standards are at least in the United States. They vary quite a lot from country to country, and culture to culture.

Equality isn’t by dragging one group down, especially if your aim is for more men to get raped and abused for equality, that’s fucking disgusting.

Women aren’t forced to do shit to their faces. Men are expected to be tall, be well-built, either always wear a suit and be a gentlemen or work in manual labour positions. If you can’t get fucked without having botox and all that shit, then maybe you need to lower your standards, sweetheart.

Again, you’re not forced to wear uncomfortable shoes. Wear whatever you want. Hell, a suit’s pretty fucking uncomfortable. Try moving your arms more than two degrees up before you start tearing the stitching. 

And again, nobody’s telling you to be submissive. Hell, it’s the opposite. Everybody today is trying to empower women.

You DON’T want equality? No, the equality you talked about isn’t the same as what I want. I want equal amounts of domestic abuse shelters for men and women, I want to focus on getting therapy for men and women equally who suffer from depression and/or are likely to commit suicide, I want women to have to work to the same standard as men for jobs instead of getting lower standards for the exact same job (Especially in the Military), I want male rape victims to be taken seriously and not have to worry about being humiliated when reporting it to the police, I want everybody to be innocent until proven guilty by fair trail.


Two sides if you like- one girl :3.
People often say to me that you can’t be “pretty” or “girly” and have muscles. But what exactly is pretty or girly?
I work hard (too hard actually!)- but I always make time to smile. But beauty or prettiness goes beyond a smile. Muscles, curves, small girls, big girls, big boobs or small boobs or three-boobs*- there is beauty in all of us if we both to look.

So never let anyone try to tell you what the social norm is, and how you’re supposed to look. Social norm is merely a fantasy - strive simply to be you ❤️.

*(imagine the fun you could have with three boobs though…!!!)

We act how they wanted us to be. We changed, so people will accept us. We’ve distorted our personality just to fit theirs. The way we look, eat, act and love are according to what they wanted us to be. We do it because we love the person so much that we are willing to lose our identity just for them. We change because we wanted to be accepted in their norms, the way they live. But, never lose yourself. You don’t have to be someone who they imagine, a perfect person. There is no such thing as perfect actually. We are born to make mistakes. Without mistakes we don’t grow. That’s why I never change myself just to meet other’s expectation. It’s better to disappoint them for who you are than to impress them for who you are really not. For short, be yourself.

why--so--sirius  asked:

Hey! So in my sociology class we have to do a project where we have to break a social norm and I was wondering if you had any ideas? Thanks!

okay so here’s what you do

you get in an elevator, right? like, multiple times. this has to be a repeated experiment to get the best results.

in the elevator, you have to face the wrong way. face towards the back. it’s an unspoken social code that we face forward in elevators. people get squirmy when you don’t do it. 

have fun being the weird elevator person.

How to tame PATRIARCHY into DOWN
DO YOU SEE? how Stephanopoulos and other Media anchors are making statement of facts, trying to put that dog collar on him (social norms & laws) to get Donald to force him to down. Yes, controlling a patriarchal male is no different then the techniques you use to teach a dog. Start watching Cesar Romero.
By ABC News


is any theories that all we need to do is “tell men” and they will give up their power.  It has never worked! Stop wasting my time. 

I have never seen a successful dismantling of a patriarchal male without leverage to force that down.  Social Norms, Laws & Jails.  

  • Shimmy off their ranting attacks

anonymous asked:

Silly question perhaps... when you visit a cemetery, where can you walk? Sometimes there is not a clear path - what if you walk over someone's grave? Is that okay or disrespectful? (in case this varies by culture/nation, i'd like to know about mainstream American etiquette)

With cemeteries and death being such a taboo subject within mainstream American culture, it’s not a surprising or silly question as the distance we have placed between ourselves and these places has also distanced us from knowing the etiquette of them. Therefore, it’s a hard question to answer because different things bug different people in different places, even when you’re acting within “the norm” or doing things that haven’t bothered people in the past or elsewhere. 

I’d say don’t trod over/climb/stand/sit/rub/touch the gravestones for both respect and conservation purposes. Well…unless you’re sitting on Conrad Aiken’s bench in Savannah, Georgia because that’s what he wanted. A few blatantly obvious ones: Don’t play football across the entire cemetery. Don’t urinate. Keep your clothes on… why do I have to say this?

I’ve read that some people find it disrespectful to walk over where the body is buried, yet I was personally never taught that (I’m from Chicago, for a geographical anchor point, but I don’t know if that’s a thing or if I’m just an unintentionally rude person) In fact, if I didn’t I would never be able to locate my grandparents’ graves as a result of the set up of their cemetery. And reflecting on my personal feelings, while my grandparents are now, always have been, and always will be very important to me it wouldn’t bug me to have someone casually walk over where their body is buried, I’m not of the belief that anyone means harm to their memory or to disrespect them through innocent wayfinding or taphophilic intrigue (and yes, I just stuck a random suffix on the root of a word and made a new one that really isn’t one) as their memory truly lives forth through me, my family, and those who knew them, not solely by their grave site– as my Mom says my grandfather, to her, is sitting in his chair at home. But, those are my just my own, personal beliefs and can in no way blanket those held by everyone else. 

Meanwhile, my grandmother grew up picnic-ing and ice skating in her city’s cemetery, but that’s neither here nor there. 

A moment of appreciation for how well Call the Midwife talks about mental health. It would be so easy for them to follow the norms of the 60’s and talk about mental health in a detrimental way.  But instead they show compassion and support for those with mental health problems. Sister Monica Joan is cared for by all at Nonnatus, no one treats her badly, they’re simply understanding of her illness. I love some of the moments between her and the nurses. In Series 3 episode 7 Sister Julienne is nothing but sympathetic for the women who suffers from puerperal psychosis. When her husband is struggling to come to terms with it and not wanting to visit due to the people she is in the psychiatric ward she responds with “They’re ill.. they should be extended the same understanding that we have for physical illnesses.” A concept that some people still struggle with in 2016. As for Patrick in S4E5 I thought this was portrayed incredibly. His wife and son are understanding and let him “come back” (for lack of a better phrase) in his own time. They’re supportive and understanding and never once treat him differently to the way they would if he had a physical illness. I really do feel like Call the Midwife handles mental health in a careful and sensitive way and that should be commended. I leave you with this..

“Invisible wounds are the hardest to heal, for their closure depends upon the love of others… on patience, understanding and the tender gift of time.”

This week has been a wild ride tbh like I’ve been having weird as shit dreams of my dead biological mum, realising that I wasn’t actually an outstanding brown kid to begin with so maybe I should stop trying to appease cultural norms because it is fucking up my mental health to the point in which my family is justifying associating with my rapist now and framing it as “learn to forgive but also was it real bc how could it be real he’s a light skinned brahmin with an engineering degree” in the name of communal belonging, realising that I will be moving out on unfriendly terms with my because if i don’t end this cycle any sooner idk what’s gonna happen to me and also I have tried to justify the toxicity for 26 years and it’s killing me, accepting that job hunting is a painful pathetic cycle that I have to engage with if I am to have some sort of financial independence and the capacity to move out, I had Cheetos for brunch, and my right eye is crusting over because of hay fever

Nice things tho: my honey has returned from his travels so I got to really good cuddles for like a billion years and all my loved ones are guiding me thru this process

anonymous asked:

Forgive my ignorance, but does G-d mean "God", or something else? If so why do you use the - rather than an O?

So, it does, and it’s a Jewish thing, though not all Jews do it.  It’s generally forbidden to write down the name of G-d (and that’s the name in Hebrew) because anything you write it on has to be preserved rather than thrown out.  This has translated into a cultural norm of generally breaking the word up in other languages, even though it isn’t strictly necessary.