Honestly, LGBT+ people want allies, BUT we don’t want them so much that we’ll settle for people:

  • who call us f*ggots
  • think misgendering is funny
  • still use “gay” as a slur
  • think “you need us, we don’t need you.”

We’re not desperate, deary. We just want respect.


The people walking past did not call them ‘f*ggots’. The first person shouted “He’s vlogging, yo!”, to which one of their friend’s responded with “It’s a livestream!The f word was not used at any point

Yes, Jooheon does turn around to look at them, but it was not because he was offended by anything that they said - it was more of a shock that people were questioning what they were doing. Changkyun mumbles something after that, and Jooheon replies with “YE, KOREAN ARTISTS!”, so it’s safe to assume that it was something to do with the group of people thinking that the boys were celebrities.

You have all been spreading misinformation without listening to the stream properly, which has resulted in others fuelling this fire that has no real purpose. Please kill the oxygen to the flame, and stop causing drama where it’s unnecessary. It makes the fandom look bad.

A funny thing about being a dude when you don’t want to be; you can deliberately kill yourself slowly in front of everyone and get cheered on for it. You can drink to the point where your skin is flushed from puking and pick up another drink while sobbing about your childhood and everyone just pats you on the back and is like “wow that dude is a party animal”. If you’re charming and funny enough, nobody questions your judgement. I’ve had dudes tell me how “dramatic” I became post-transition, and it’s like “wait, you fucking saw me smash a whiskey bottle and cut myself in public once because I was sad pre-transition”.
—  Rani Baker, “F*ggot As Gender Identity, Detransition As A Form Of Suicide”

normalization is a scary thing. ever-shifting lines and thresholds are scary. for some people the line is this: racial slurs and hate speech uttered knowingly and conscientiously. a career and a net worth of millions of dollars built off of a calculated, structured genre of humor that encourages dehumanizing language, trivialization of oppression, and jokes targeted at minority groups, that gives young white men a free pass to use the same sort of humor and language, that provides a haven for literal nazis and bigots to thrive and pat each other on the back and laugh at people that they consider weak and ‘triggered’ and overly sensitive.

and for others the line might be actions that condone or implicitly convey tolerance and acceptance of these realities. when a person is able to ‘look past’ someone’s conscientious bigotry and the profit they make from it, when they are able to put these realities aside for a weekend of fun spent in a luxury apartment, to pose for photos in front of a public audience, what they’re saying is that that person’s bigotry can be overlooked, condoned, and tolerated, all in the interest of personal enjoyment. after weeks and months of radio silence, if the only ‘statement’ someone can make on a clear and defined case of textbook racism on their platform and in their community is that they have plans to hang out with the racist in question and may perhaps ‘have a word’ about ‘recent occurrences,’ without even being able to out and out denounce those occurrences or call them what they are (uh, racism), then they don’t get a pass, at least not from me. this is my line: allowing internalized and implicit racism to go unchecked, condoning it because it doesn’t affect you personally. normalizing it.

a community of people who are more afraid to talk about the potential for racism amongst their favs than they are afraid of actual racism itself is terrifying to me. it’s unsettling. a community of people who would rather be angry, who would rather be defensive and class everything as ‘drama’ and ‘discourse’ rather than listening to people whose feelings are hurt, rather than exercising basic compassion and empathy … it’s scary. and this is the impact of dnp’s decisions. ‘racism’ isn’t just burning crosses or using the n word yourself or calling yourself a white supremacist. it’s a system that actively erases and silences the experiences of black people and other people of color, a system in which white people can do and say anything about nonwhites without material or lasting repercussions, because their network of other white people will always be able to put up with it, look past it, and protect them. dnp didn’t just make a personal choice, they made a public one that communicates that their weekend plans were more important to them than the people who may have been harmed by the person they were associating with. they made a choice to normalize this person and his career, to show that he’s someone they can still have fun with, and to communicate that message to thousands and thousands of young, impressionable, mostly white fans.

don’t get it twisted, by the way. the alternative here was as simple as a declined invitation, a mailed gift or greeting card instead of an in-person attendance. this is not about an eight year old relationship with a mutual friend whom dnp could see any other time, and with whom dnp could continue to maintain an isolated relationship. this is not about money or power or followers or a career, all of which dnp have in heaps. this is about privilege, about the ability to look past bigotry when it doesn’t affect you personally, when speaking out is too hard or inconvenient. and that would’ve been painful on its own, but what’s worse is the people who still care more about these rich, privileged individuals than their own peers and friends and fellow ‘fans.’ the hypocrisy is painful. i imagine a scenario where the sign had read ‘death to all gays’ or where the gamer rage had resulted in multiple instances of yelling the word ‘f*ggot.’ would all of you stay so silent? would dnp have gone to the party then? would it still be ‘everybody makes mistakes, everyone deserves second chances, nobody’s perfect?’

everyone’s lines fall at different places. i draw the line at tacit acceptance of bigotry and hate speech. it’s a serious choice and a starkly disappointing one. your line might be different, and that’s okay. but the least you can do is listen to the people who are hurt and try to understand what they’re feeling. interrogate your own comfort levels and boundaries, question where those boundaries lie, and whether you keep shifting them to accommodate a world that gets more and more casually bigoted every single day. think about who you stan and why, think about what it means, just be critical and aware, and kind to anyone who is hurting. 

I think Billy Hargrove is gay, has internalized homophobia and was caught with a black guy back in California.

It would explain his misogyny. He has a strange hatred for women, possibly his biologically mother (for leaving him?) and stepmother (I think she was the one to find Billy with a guy). The whore and cow comments are self explanatory.

He got very upset in the car with Max when she blamed him for them having to move.

“She’s not my type.” Hmm… you can be the judge for that one.

Plus, his father called him a f*ggot and that doesn’t come from nowhere.

He also was targeting Lucas specifically. Interracial romance in 80s was severely taboo and he aggressively told Max to stay away from Lucas. It may be because he was protecting her in a weird way or because he got caught with a black guy and there was consequences. Both, I assume.

He definitely likes Steve. The shower scene, basketball practices, and almost killing him during that fight was more than enough prove.

The fight scene, in my opinion, symbolized him lashing out his suppressed gay feelings for Steve. How many times has a closeted bully taken out his angry on the object of their affections? I’ll wait.

But that’s all for now.

Transgender woman sues Idaho for refusing to let her change her birth certificate
The birth certificate she has now led to her being called 'tr*nny' and 'f*ggot,' a lawsuit alleges in federal court.
By Dominic Holden

Last week in Idaho, a transgender woman identified as F.V. filed a lawsuit against the state seeking the right to change her gender marker on her birth certificate. Idaho is among the handful of states that don’t explicitly allow transgender people to change their birth certificates. 

The woman has suffered harassment by state officials for trying to make the change to her gender marker. 

“The incorrect gender on F.V.’s birth certificate has exposed her to hostility when she visited the social security office,” the suit says. “After seeing her birth certificate, staff at the office referred to her as a ‘tr*nny,’ a derogatory term that disclosed F.V.’s transgender status to others in the waiting area. One of these individuals then called F.V. a 'f*ggot’ as she was leaving the office.”

Peter C. Renn, a Lambda Legal attorney who filed the case on behalf of F.V., told BuzzFeed News, “It is especially dangerous for the government to not recognize people for who they are because the government leads by example.”

Transgender people rely on birth certificates to update other forms of government identification, he said, and when it shows a different sex marker than the gender they present, it outs them. “Whether we are talking about access to restrooms or violence against transgender people, so much of the discriminations stems from a refusal to recognize their gender.”

Oof. Rooting for her and everyone else who’s been denied this right. 

about fatfae

fatfae, otherwise known as angryfey and princetkilljoy, is the blogger behind the “that sounds suspiciously aphobic or possibly terfy” meme. they are an active blogger in ace discourse, and have recently come under fire for some very serious things. so let’s just get into it.

part 1: pedophilia

this post has the screenshots used to establish that fatfae self-identifies as an ex-map (minor-attracted person).

when called out, they asked people to call out figuregaying, someone behind several of the original accusations. they also state that pedophilia had been “normalized” for them so they thought it was okay.

then, they tried to shift the blame to another blogger accused of pedophilia apologism.

in the past, they have told a child alter that they wanted to mutilate their own genitals [post with archived link]

when we went through the following list on their main, princetkilljoy, we found that:

as of november 18, 2015, they followed a stridercest blog

and a blog containing shota (PEDOPHILIA) and tr*p porn

as well as a blog that has RECENTLY posted bestiality porn

and one that has RECENTLY posted drawn rape and dubcon

AND THEN making excuses for following those blogs
+ more excuses

they posted their “story,” trying to guilttrip the accusers and say that it was okay because it had been “normalized” by fandom spaces and abuse.

‘don’t harass me for my attraction to kids because i was a victim too’

justifying people identifying as maps because of past trauma

‘5 year olds should learn about penetration because i’m a csa victim’

“7 year olds can be sexual”

kids should learn about sex at age 5′

‘if kids can believe in santa they’re old enough to learn about sex’

calling people terfs for saying kids shouldn’t learn about sex

‘if kids can have sexual orientations they must have sexual attraction’

part 2: lesbophobia

derailing lesbian positivity posts with “unless they’re a terf” 1 . 2

saying “butch” isn’t a lesbian-specific term 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 (also, they’re transmasculine and NOT a lesbian)

guilttripping the people who argued with them about this

reblogged a post about how “femme” is not a lesbian-specific term

‘i have to search every blog with butch in the url to make sure they’re not a terf’

derailing lesbian posts again

‘gay and lesbian are both slurs’

part 3: transmisogyny

the tr*p porn thing again

‘trans men can reclaim tr*nny because i’ve had it used on me a couple times’

“trans women can’t reclaim f*ggot”

misgendered a trans woman and when confronted said “i corrected it, don’t blow your fucking head up”

then, they apologized and slimecourse acknowledged it but then fatfae got mad about being called a transmisogynist and said “you people make me want to drown myself” re: being asked not to misgender trans women

then trying to make it about themself

“[exclusionists] are just latching onto discourse started by terfs”

their response to someone telling them they’re being transmisogynistic is “i’m farting” + ‘i can selectively listen to trans women on issues of transmisogyny’ + ‘bi people get to reclaim the f slur and it’s biphobic to disagree’

“i’m trans so i can’t be transmisogynistic” + implying that being transmisogynistic is a “simple, common, unintentional mistake”

another “i’m trans so i can’t be transmisogynistic”

part 4: ableism

fatfae has a track record with ableism, specifically pertaining to schizophrenia. 

trying to delegitimize someone’s diagnosis of schizophrenia

more invalidation of the same person’s diagnosis + “if you’re not schizophrenic why do you want to be called schizophrenic?”

invalidating the same. person. again. + “how do you think it makes schizphrenic people feel that your ass wants to be one so badly”

tokenizing schizophrenia + comparing being called schizophrenic to being called violent slurs

calling people “hypersexual horndogs” and excusing it because they’re autistic

purposefully triggering someone

‘autistic people don’t have the right to reclaim the r slur’

part 5: guilttripping

fatfae posting about how they might self harm over being outed as a pedophile

guilttripping people who are saying that “butch” is for only lesbians

‘i didn’t get good sex ed’ + ‘you’re gonna make me self harm’ in response to being outed as a pedophile

“i named the burns on my back and arms after you”

“i don’t care [that this is literally an abuse tactic]” + “i want you to hurt the way you made me hurt” + “this burn is for you honey”

part 6: homophobia/misc

called a gay person queer after being asked not to, accused anyone who hasn’t reclaimed a slur of being anti bi and nb, + “gay was originally a slur”

defending the classic homophobic behavior of using bible verses against lgbt people

‘gay and lesbian are both slurs,’ again


fatfae is a pedophile, a lesbophobe, and a transmisogynist, among much more. the people defending them are defending pedophilia. they should no longer be given any sort of platform or be given a presence in discourse spaces. this behavior must be condemned and stopped. 

Family receives outpouring of support after their home was vandalized with threatening anti-gay graffiti
"This is my family, this is my home, and I’m not moving."
By Lauren Strapagiel

Earlier this month in Ontario, a gay couple with a 5-year-old daughter were horrified to find anti-gay graffiti on their home. Someone had spray-painted “we don’t like f*ggot, time to move, 30 days” on their garage.

The two men, Brett and Paul Alford-Jones, called the police and the incident is being investigated as a hate crime. But despite being terrified by what happened, the men say they won’t leave the community they love – especially because so many people have reached out to help.

As upsetting as the message was, however, the outpouring of support has also been an emotional experience. The day after the message was found, friends from Toronto drove down to cover it up. Alford-Jones said he’s also received tons of messages from strangers offering to help.

“People are willing to sit in my driveway at night and watch the property,” he said. “This has really changed my pessimistic outlook — total strangers are just giving us total support.”

“This is my family, this is my home, and I’m not moving,” he said.

“All I can say is this thing, as much as it has unnerved us, it has done nothing to change our way of living or how we bring our daughter up. It was a waste of someone’s time, really.”

Terrifying. Sending them lots of love and healing thoughts. 


Recently mydeity posted something upsetting about G Dragon and although it reached 5000 notes and the damage has already been done, I wanted to address it because they still haven’t issued an apology.

Firstly I fail to see how you would think the following statement:

‘the usual ‘look at these pretty boys with their snapbacks, they look like f*ggots’ that zico and gd popularized is what everyone’s trynna erase these days. one, because it’s homophobic and plain destructive.’

could be seen as anything other than ‘G Dragon is a homophobe!!’

In the original replies, you tried to backtrack and say you were only referring to Zico at this point but how else is: ‘they look like f*ggots’ that zico and gd popularized’ meant to be taken exactly?

I know he has his faults but the one thing you can’t come for with G Dragon is his lack of support for the lgbtq community. He has shown his support for us on multiple occasions and literally has a tattoo on his arm that is a statement against homophobia. What you said about him was a lie. He has never said that so when are you going to post a proper apology for this? You were brave enough to write that false information before you deleted it so you should be brave enough to write an apology.

Secondly when you said ‘chanyeol was thrown in his early days into the ‘idol rapper’ category by g-dragon, who multiple times has expressed his disgust with sm’s rappers not composing their own stuff.’

Could you please give evidence of these ‘multiple times’ when GD said he was ‘disgusted’ with sm rappers? Did he say those exact words? if he did then fair enough, but please show us proper receipts.

It could be true but I get the impression that you are just trying to twist things like you did when you made out that he was a homophobe? I have been a fan of GD for a while now and I have never heard him say these things.

If you’re referring to that one interview he did, THEY asked him why BigBang stood out from other groups and he responded by saying it was because they write and compose their own music and the public like it, which is true. He is simply stating facts as BigBang are the only idol group so far to achieve a pak etc.

I also don’t understand your point about GD referring to Chanyeol as an ‘idol rapper’ either. Why is this seen as a bad thing?

When exactly did GD refer to Chanyeol as an idol rapper? When did he even refer to Chanyeol? I am genuinely curious about this because GD doesn’t often talk about other artists outside of YG (apart from that one time he said that he likes exo but anyway)

If GD did refer to Chanyeol as an idol rapper like you said he did, again why is this a bad thing? I get that other people refer to idols in a negative way but if you knew anything about GD you would know he often refers to himself as an idol rapper, so does that mean he is throwing shade at himself?

I just feel like your whole argument when it comes to GD was unnecessary. You claim you’re a fan of GD but you clearly don’t know enough about him and what he’s like because you wouldn’t have made those statements if you did. GD is known for being one of the most respectful idols out there. Even to his youngers he does a 90 degree bow. It’s also quite funny that you brought Namjoon into your discussion about being disrespected when he was literally called out by Koreans for talking disrespectfully ABOUT GD in an interview lol.

I get that you want to talk up your fave but GD has also received his fair share of hate from others for being an idol, he get’s called overrated, plastic, druggie, he’s told that he can’t sing or dance on the daily. His name get’s used in songs as disses but guess what, he doesn’t respond and has always stayed respectful.

Even in his recent song with Zion T who is literally bad mouthing idols by saying how they have it easy because they can just dance and look good etc. the first thing GD responds with is ‘I’m an idol’ because he’s never seen that as a bad thing. He is proud of that title and what you made him out to be in your post is disgusting and untrue. It’s even sadder because it had over 5000 notes. People actually bought into your nonsense and GD got more hate written about him because of you.

I know nothing about Zico so I can’t really say anything on his behalf however, what you said about GD being a homophobe was wrong and you need to give a proper apology. 

Here’s a gif of GD being ‘disrespectful’ to exo to keep ya’ll haters pressed i’m done.

this is why i hate that shipping culture has become so prominent for a show that largely deals with themes of trauma, abuse, innocence, childhood and coming of age. shipping culture is more often than not fanatical, and that’s why we see results like what the article above describes and supports. anyone who has seen the second season of stranger things should be able to grasp why a pairing like this is exemplary of single-minded, uncritical shipping at its worst. here are some tweets directly from this article about fans’ takes on “harringrove:”

“Billy is clearly in love with Steve Harrington which is why he always bothered him. Abusive dad who hits and call him f*ggot, Billy’s Gay”

“Okay. There is so much sexual tension between Billy and Steve Harrington. Billy is probably gay and can’t handle it. That is why he Bullies everyone. He is in love with Steve”

“Can’t wait for season 3 of stranger things when Steve and Billy realise their anger toward eachother is just repressed sexual tension x”

these people are obviously not trying to hurt anyone in any way, but these sentiments are harmful. equating the abuse billy receives from his father with his supposed gayness, suggesting that the abuse that billy inflicts on those around him is him lashing out about his homosexual tendencies, finding “sexual tension” in scenes where billy hurts and mocks steve, all of this is harmful and reeks of homophobia. but y’all don’t care, because “harringrove” is only skin deep. y’all have taken two conventionally attractive white boys, one of whom has been made practically irredeemable, and mashed them together for the sake of having more of your often abusive, always homophobic “sinful gay babies uwu” ships.

look i know there’s been some back and forth about will’s sexuality, and while i have several feelings about that, i want to mention the most important thing that happened (for me at least) in season one.  the few times where will’s sexuality is brought into question, the idea of him being gay is very clearly shown to be a negative thing (troy calling him a “fairy” and lonnie calling him a f*ggot).  BUT what matters SO MUCH to me are the other characters reactions, mainly Joyce and the kids.  when Hopper asks Joyce if Will’s gay, she doesn’t say “of course not!” or act offended by the idea.  instead, she simply yells “does it matter?” and goes back to the problem at hand.  Mike, Dustin, and Lucas are clearly pissed off when Troy and his groupie are making fun of Will (at his fucking memorial service, jfc, these kids) but they NEVER ONCE jump to “shut up, don’t say that, he’s not gay,” or anything along those lines.

even though gay is used as an insult against will, his friends and family don’t ever try to defend him by reaffirming his “straightness.”  they defend his character and his worth, because that’s what matters.