some thoughts about middle earth
  • elves and dwarves are so confused by men’s gendering?? in both elf and dwarf cultures your gender and physical sex is completely seperate, so when they see a human baby and the parents are like, “yep, this our son, he’s a boy,” the elves and dwarves are so confused?? becaue the child hasn’t gotten a chance to decide for themselves??
  • elf and dwarf children get to feel out different genders until they feel comfortable to call themselves that gender. even then, theyre free to change it later on if they want
  • (aragorn was raised as an elf and therefore also went through this process. he tried out being a girl for a few years, then agender, and eventually decided on calling himself a boy. elrond was super proud)
  • it’s easy to tell with dwarves, bc they have special braids/beads for their gender
  • elves generally ask each other if theyre unsure, bc theyre deathly afraid of making assumptions, since thats like a really big insult
  • elves and dwarves each have very distinct body shapes. its difficult to differentiate between a (physically) female or male dwarf and between a (physically) female or male elf, which is great bc it means the humans cant just assume their gender
  • they dont really gender jobs (eg the woman cant be a guard or the man cant be a cook) bc thats not how elf/dwarf gender works?? theyre like the epitome of gender equality
  • (so dis was actually before dain in succession to the throne of erebor, but she decided to let him rule bc she had just lost the last of her remaining family)
  • elves are usually pansexual
  • dwarves are usually demisexual
  • hobbits are a mix, generally bi or pan, and occasionally polyamorous (theyre very free with their love)
  • humans are the very old school race, heterosexuality is generally preferred bc you can have a baby (theyre still very “a Woman is a Woman and a Man is a Man”). if youre looking for a pretty bigoted race, this is it
  • race (ie the colour of your skin) is not a big thing?? i mean youve got halflings and orcs and talking ravens and shit walking around??
  •  the elves occasionally have this thing about heritage, but its still more about blood (like Noldor or Sinda or w/e) than physical attributes
  • that being said, most dwarves are def poc
  • i mean, they were created in the image of aule and dont even think about telling me he was white
  • also?? hobbits are a farming and gardening race?? they spend the whole day out in the sun, working?? they are not white fam
  • elrond is also not the straight-haired, pale bitch peter jackson showed us?? um dude he was related to like half of beleriand (part of middle earth that got flooded before lotr) and despite what peter jackson tells us, not every fucking elf and human is white jesus fucking christ
The Stalker (Thorin x Reader)

A/N: Hi guys! So this one-shot was requested by @deepestfirefun I’m really sorry for the time it took me! I hope that you like it! :) 

Request: “Thorin x reader (what can I say, I love the dwarf 😂) she is the new queen of Erebor, loved by everyone and adored because her unique look (very long white silver hair and golden eyes), she is in fact one of the few guardians of Middle-Earth. She has becan to receive gifts and flowers from a unknown admirer. At first, she thinks it’s cute but as the time goes by, it’s starting to scare her and decides to tell Thorin although she is little afraid, it’s common knowledge that dwarves are fiercely protective of their females and especially their mates and with Thorin’s case, that kind of nature is three times fiercer, because she is his queen. When Thorin finds out about it, he is outraged with the thought that someone dares to stalk her. When stalker finally is caught, he crosses paths with her in the throne room. He attacks her with a knife in his hand yelling : “Men eleneku menu o bepap opetu ezirak!” (I desire you more than an endless vein of mithril). Very fierce, very protective, and very angry Thorin, lots of fluff 😀” 

Fandom: The Hobbit 

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x Reader 

Forever taglist: @weirdnewbie @villainlove @fizzy-custard @fictionalquintessence @ealasaid @xalexandriaxk @maidenadventure @sdavid09 @lainternettuale @deepestfirefun @shewalksinanotherworld @fangirl570 @tschrist1 

The Stalker 

Another beautiful day was starting in the kingdom of Erebor. The mountain awoke slowly as the dwarves began their daily routine in the forges, in the kitchens or in the great halls of the King Under the Mountain. Thorin was already awake in his room, bending his back over some paperwork Balin brought him the night before. Being a king was a hard task and Thorin was overbooked, it was even hard to find time to sleep having to restore an entire kingdom after years of desolations. However, the king could not be happier because he had you by his side.

His Queen. His One. His one true love.

Thorin looked up from his desk and watched you sleep contently with adoration. His love for you was limitless. He knew that nothing would stop him from loving you, even death would not be able to falter his adoration for his Queen. You had followed Thorin to the mountain to defeat Smaug two years ago. Being one of Middle-Earth’s protectors - alongside with Gandalf - it has been your duty to help the line of Durin and try to slay the dragon. After Smaug’s death, not by your hands but by Bard’s, and after the battle of the Five Armies, Thorin and you finally had the chance to love each other. You had fall for the dwarf during the journey to Erebor and Thorin had also found his one true love in you. After a few months of courting, Thorin had finally asked you to marry him and become his Queen, a proposition that you indeed accepted. Your love for Thorin was undying and the Durin folks loved you dearly in return. You were a cherished Queen, loved and admire not only for your looks but also for the kindness of your heart and your courage.

The king observed as your long silver-white hair cascaded down your back, soft waves flying slowly around your pale face as the warm summer breeze entered the royal chambers by the opened windows. The sun touched your skin, making it look like gold and Thorin’s breath got stuck in his throat. However, this is when your eyes fluttered open that the king’s heart exploded with love. Your eyelashes caressed the smooth and flushed skin of your cheeks a few times before your eyes opened wide. Thorin stared at you with a smile on his lips, as your deep golden iris searched the room frantically. When your eyes landed on Thorin, a beautiful smile graced your features, warming Thorin’s heart. The king smiled back and got up from his chair to make his way toward the bed you were still lying on.

“Good morning, Amrâlimê.” Thorin’s deep voice said as he laid a soft kiss upon your pink lips. You smiled and raised a cold hand to run your fingers through his beard. Thorin closed his eyes and purred in appreciation as your fingers ran to the back of his neck.

“Good morning, my love.” You answered him in a whisper. You tilted your head up and kissed his cheek, his nose, and finally his lips. The kiss was long and full of love as Thorin held you close in his arms, yours slowly wrapping around his neck. Thorin broke the kiss softly and touched his forehead to yours.

“You staid up late and you woke up early.” You stated, still whispering as if you were afraid of breaking your bubble of peace if you dared to speak louder. Thorin hummed in answer, his eyes still closed.

“I had enough sleep, do not worry about me, my Queen.” Thorin’s voice whispered in your ears. You looked at his face and slowly ran the pad of your thumbs under his deep blue eyes where dark rings lied.

“Those shadows under your eyes prove the opposite, my love.” You answered then kissed softly under his eyes. Thorin looked down at you and smiled in adoration.

“This is only going to last for the duration of the trading contract with Dale. I’ll be able to sleep more in a few months.”

“A few months?!” Your voice seemed laced with worry for your King as you pulled away to shake your head. “My sweet, you need a good night of sleep before a few months…”

“You are always worrying about me, aren’t you?” Thorin asked as he kissed your hand, a content smirk on his lips.

“Indeed, I will always worry about you Thorin.” You said before bringing him into a tight hug. Thorin wrapped his arms around your frame protectively, sinking into your warm embrace when a knock at the door broke you apart.

Thorin got up with a sigh and opened the door to reveal Balin and Dwalin. Meanwhile, you had swiftly got out of bed and wrapped yourself in a silky dressing grown. Thorin turned back to look at you then nodded at his friends.

“Amrâlimê, I have to leave for a meeting with King Bard. I am sorry to leave you alone before breakfast, my dear.” The dwarf King said as he made his way in your direction. You smiled as he wrapped you in his arms and kissed your forehead.

“Don’t worry, Thorin. I will spend the day with Dis.” You softly told your husband. Thorin nodded and after several minutes of telling him that you would be fine he finally (but reluctantly) left with Balin and Dwalin.

You chuckled to yourself as you decided to get ready for the day ahead. After your bath, you dressed in your royal clothes and braided your hair, your courting and wedding braids being brought out by the design you had chosen. After a while, you decided to leave yours and Thorin’s chambers to look for food in the kitchens and have a chat with Bombur but when you opened the door, a small crafted box lied at your feet. Your eyes widen and you quickly took the box in your hands, you stepped outside of the room and looked around in the empty hallway. No one was there to be seen. However, this meant that someone had been there at some point after Thorin’s departure. Your heart started to beat faster and you stepped back into the room, closed and locked the door behind you. Fear gripped your heart as you dropped the box on Thorin’s desk and covered your mouth with your hand.

It wasn’t the first time you had received gifts from an unknown admirer. It began a few weeks before, during a celebration Thorin and yourself hosted for Dain’s birthday. You were discussing with Dis when a child came running in your direction with a gift and a letter. The child had said that someone asked him to give you the gift and when you had opened the gift, your smile had made Dis laugh. In the box lied a small wooden dove, the gift was beautiful and you directly thought it had been made by Bofur and Bifur but when you had opened the letter your smile had slowly vanished. This was a love letter from an unknown admire, he called you ‘his dove’, ‘his only reason to live’… At first, you had thought that it was a young dwarf who thought he loved you but would understand sooner or later that it was just a crush. However, as the days pasted you received more and more gifts. You even received jewels and gemstones from that unknown admirer but never had he dared to come this close. Those gifts and letters started to scare you and you knew that this admirer wasn’t a simple innocent young lad. He was a stalker, drowned in his fantasy. His letters started to be more and more aggressive and possessive, saying that he was the only one able to love you. That Thorin wasn’t good enough for you and that one day he would make you happy.

Dis knew about it all but you had hidden it from Thorin, not wanting to worry him over such an innocent matter. However, now that your stalker had found a was to cross the safety of the royal chambers, you knew that it was time for your husband to know. You jumped as a knock from the door took you out of your daydream.

“W… Who’s there?” You asked weakly as you approached the door.

“(Y/N)? Sister? It’s me Dis, are you alright?” Dis’ voice said from behind the thick wooden door of your room. You quickly opened the door and threw your arms around her.

“Oh Mahal! (Y/N), what happened?” Dis asked worriedly. She led you into the room and closed the door behind her.

“Someone was here… Just behind the door! It was him… the stalker. He brought the gift himself this time.” You told her with a shaky voice. Dis’ eyes widen in shock.

“You saw him?! Did he try anything on you, (Y/N).” Sher quickly asked as she checked your body for any wound. You shook your head and sniffed.

“N… No. I was about to leave the room when I opened the door and this was on the floor.” You said as you pointed a shaky finger at the box on Thorin’s desk. Dis looked at the box and grabbed it in anger. She opened it harshly and scoffed at what she saw.

“What is it?” You asked her as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

“An engagement ring…” Dis answered then looked at the small note next to the ring, she read it out loud. “It is time for us to be together, my dove.” The room was silent as you stared at Dis with a frightened look. “It’s time for Thorin to know.” Dis simply said before she grabbed your hand and led you out of your bedroom.

Thorin was still in the meeting-room when the doors suddenly slammed open, Dis walking quickly and powerfully into the room and you behind her. Thorin frowned at his sister’s angry face but he quickly got up and ran to you when he saw the fear on your face.

“My love, what is the matter?” The king asked worriedly as he reached you. You quickly threw your arms around his neck and buried your face in the crook of his neck, finally feeling safe in his arms. Fili and Kili got up from the table and ran to stand by your side.

“Auntie…” Kili whispered and rubbed your back soothingly while Fili looked at his mother in confusion.

“I think you need to cancel the meeting Thorin. We have an important matter to discuss, it’s for the Queen’s safety.” Dis said then turned to look at Dwalin. The warrior nodded and escorted everyone out of the room. Bard looked at you and before leaving he stopped at the door.

“If you need my help or my men to assist yours, they are at your service Thorin.” Bard kindly offered. Thorin nodded his thanks at the man then Bard left the room, leaving you with Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dis, Balin and Dwalin.

“What is happening?” Thorin asked, still holding you in his arms.

“(Y/N) has been receiving gifts from an unknown admire since a few weeks.” Dis started.

“When did it start?” Thorin asked, his voice laced with concern.

“Since the celebration for Dain’s birthday.” You answered him as you looked up from his neck. You sniffled and dried your tears as you pulled away from your husband. “At first, it was rather innocent. I thought it would stop but now it’s like… someone is stalking me.” You said, Thorin looked at you in wonder.

“But what brought you in such a state, Amrâlimê?”

“He… today he came to the royal chambers, right after you left with Balin and Dwalin.” Thorin’s eyes widen at this. “And he left this.” You said as you gestured toward Dis. Thorin’s sister handed him the box with the ring and Thorin’s hand tightened on the box.

“I will find him… and I will kill him.” Thorin hissed, his eyes turning black out of anger. You shook your head at your husband’s words and Balin stepped in.

“Thorin, yes we have to find him but kill him… we don’t even know who this stalker is.” The old dwarf said, looking at his king worriedly.

“How dares he claim to be better for my One? (Y/N) is my Queen and my wife, it is my duty to protect her!” Thorin’s voice reverberated into the huge meeting-room. Balin sighed and Thorin turned to Dwalin. “Dwalin, come with me. We’re going to gather the royal guards and search the kingdom for this filth! Fili, Kili stay with your aunt and your mother.” The king ordered before kissing your forehead.

“Please Thorin…” You started but he stopped you with a kiss.

“I will find him, my love. I promise that I will keep you safe.” And with those final words he left the room with Dwalin.

Two days went by and you started to feel sick of being constantly in your room for your protection. Yes, Dis and the boys were with you when Thorin wasn’t there but you needed to see something else than your royal chambers. Thorin and Dwalin were working day and night to find your stalker and since then not a single letter nor gift had found its way to you. You were slightly relieved to finally be rid of those creepy letters but you also needed your husband by your side and knowing how stubborn Thorin was, he would not rest until he found your stalker. Your day started as always, you woke up with Dis on a bed next to yours and Fili and Kili at the door. After breakfast and getting ready for the day you were about to grab yet another book for the day when rushed footsteps were heard in the hallway. You looked at Fili and Kili and the boys quickly got ready to fight but when they opened the door, Dwalin came in, looking out of breath.

“Lass, you have to follow me. We found him!” Dwalin said as he tried to catch his breath.

“W…What? How?” You asked confused.

“We found him in the forges. He was doing a dagger for you but when he claimed that was only a gift, we fear it was actually more a desperate way of… reuniting him and you. If you know what I mean.” Dwalin said in a grave voice. You shook your head and followed Dwalin down to the kings’ gallery and into the throne’s room.

“My Queen!” You heard the guards say as you walked into the gallery, your husband was sitting on his throne. Thorin saw you and got up to welcome you but your eyes landed on another dwarf. He was kneeling before the throne in the center of the huge hall, he was tall for a dwarf and he looked rather strong but his face held some kind of madness that made you shake in fear. When his eyes landed on you, the dwarf started to trash around, the guards having a hard time maintaining him.

“Amrâlimê!” You suddenly heard Thorin’s voice scream in fright, taking you out of you daze. You wiped your head to look at your husband but before you appeared the dwarf who has been kneeling a few second before. He had knocked the two guards down using his last strength and brandished a dagger at you.

Men eleneku menu o bepap opetu ezirak!(I desire you more than an endless vein of mithril) The dwarf shouted, his voice sending your heart into a quick race. ‘Is that it?’ You thought as you covered your face with your arms. However, you heard the mad dwarf scream in pain and you opened your eyes to see him lying on the floor with Orcrist drove into his left shoulder. You gasped and looked up to see Thorin rushing to you.

“T… Thorin…” You breathed out as he collided with you, wrapping you into his arms. Thorin’s anger was radiating through his entire body as he let you go and advanced toward the mad dwarf who was crawling on the hard ground of the Throne’s room.

Thorin stopped him and removed Orcrist of his shoulder. The dwarf let out a scream and Thorin stared at him, you could see his brain fuming. A part of him wanted him dead for what he tried to do but another part of him knew that you wouldn’t want someone to die for you like that. Thorin turned and glanced at you then nodded at Dwalin to hold the mad dwarf up.

“As King of this kingdom I have the right to execute you…” Thorin started, staring at the mad dwarf. “But you are a dwarf of the Iron Hills and those lands are ruled by my cousin Dain.” Thorin informed everyone. “You saw my Queen for the first time 4 weeks ago during the celebration for my cousin’s birthday and you decided to stay behind in Erebor for her. My Queen! My wife! My One! You stalked her and then tried to kill her… I should kill you for that.” Thorin stopped before the dwarf, his eyes full of hate and anger.

“Thorin…” Your voice resonated into the Throne’s room. Everyone turned to look at you, even Dis and her sons. “Even if he tried to kill me… I cannot be the reason of someone’s death. I couldn’t live with that…” You told your husband. Thorin looked at you in astonishment at first but then he nodded his head.

“You are lucky that my Queen is indulgent.” He hissed at the mad dwarf. “Send a raven to Dain of the Iron Hills, tell him that we have a prisoner for him. You will be given to my cousin and he will decide of your fate.” Thorin kneeled in front of the injured dwarf and whispered for only him and Dwalin to hear. “Know that I am known to be the more reasonable one of the two.”

And with those final words, Dwalin took the mad dwarf out of the room and the guards followed him. Thorin watched, his anger slowly fading. After several more minutes of calming down, the king turned to you and opened his arms. You didn’t hesitate to run into his arms and hide your face in his chest. Thorin sighed in relief and enveloped you in the safety of his arms.

“My love, are you alright?” He asked softly into your ear. You nodded and couldn’t help but grab his face and kiss him passionately in front of your friends and family. Thorin chuckled in the kiss while the others laughed and whistled.

“Thank you…” You breathed out as you broke the kiss.

“(Y/N), this is my duty to protect you. I will always keep you safe, with my life if I have to.” He said and pecked your lips once again. “You are my world.”

Since then, Thorin always made sure to prove his love to you in front of everyone. He didn’t want another to try and steal you away from him ever again. His protective nature increased but you did not dare to complain as you knew how much your husband loved you. His overprotective nature was the biggest proof of his love for you. An undying and infinite love.

I hope that you guys liked it! Tell me what you think! I love to have feedback! 

xxx Lisy