But that’s just how it works. One day he does something that feels like the last straw, that convinces you to walk away, despite how crazy in love you were. You text him that it’s over and you’re so angry that you swear to yourself to never care again. But a week later, you miss him so hard that you just want to go back begging. But you don’t. And of course he doesn’t either. You can blame it on his ego, but it’s exactly what you are doing too.
You replay every moment you spent with him and every word he said to you and every song you listened to together. You miss him because you used to get through every day knowing that you would talk to him in the night and hearing his voice would soothe you. You miss him because even fighting with him felt like love because you only ever fought for each other. You miss him because your fingertips left glitter on his face when you ran them down his stubble, and it can’t be washed away. You miss him because he wrote his name on your veins and it just don’t seem to fade away. You miss him because his arms felt strong and safe around you and now they must just feel empty.
You miss him so hard and so long and wonder if he ever misses you even a little. You check your phone every hour to see if he has texted you, even though you know he wouldn’t have.
Every second you spent being his feels like a dream doesn’t it? It was too good to be true, and you knew it even then. But would you take it all back just to save yourself all the heartbreak? No. You would go through it a hundred times over if only you could spend those limited minutes feeling that kind of love again.
But you never go back. You never send that “I miss you, let’s start over.” text. You sit there and miss him every second and let the pain kill you.
Does he ever text you saying he wants to come back? Do you ever get over him?
I don’t know yet.