(which i didn't know was a thing until today but now it's all i want to do with my life)

Pregnancy Headcanons: Mystic Messenger

I’m a sucker for prengancy-related headcanons/one-shots/roleplays. I’m weird I know. Anyway here are some pregnancy headcanons for the RFA (slightly nsfw)(obvious spoilers)(Cussing)

Order: Yoosung, Zen, Jumin, Jaehee, Seven, Saeran, V


Yoosung

¤ Oh our little innocent cinnamonbun Yoosung isn’t so innocent

¤ Infact, 4/5 times he initiates the frickity-frackity

¤ Just so happens, though, that condom was expired

¤ And it was evident when it had broken

¤ And he had begun to panic

    × “it’s leaking- Wait it’s leaking, MC it’s leaking what do we do? Ahh-”

¤ He ended up running out and buying like 5 pregnancy test

¤ But the baby factory doesn’t work like that so they all came back negative.

¤ So he thought you were fine

¤ Until two weeks later when-

     × “Oh my God, MC are you okay? You sound like your dying”

¤ You made him buy more pregnancy test

    × “But the 5 you took before came back negative”

¤ He ended up buying 7 more, cause

    × “One of them could be faulty”

¤ You took 7 test, 5 of which back positive

¤ So Yoosung begun freaking out even more

    × “MC I’m so sorry I should have checked the expiration date this is all my fault”

¤ You couldn’t help but laugh

¤ That laughter quickly turn to tears because holy fuck your having a tiny human.

¤ Cue more panic from Yoosung

    × “MC?? No MC don’t cry or I’ll start crying too! MC”

¤ And here we have two crying grown children

¤ When the two of you finally calmed the hell down you begun to talk about it

    × You both came to the conclusion that you both weren’t ready for a responsibility of this magnitude and that the best option for the child would be for them do go into adoption

¤ Despite all that, Yoosung still did everything to make you comfortable

    × Mc.Rognalds at 4am? He’s got you covered. 

    × Extra pillows, even if that leaves him with none? Alright. 

     × Missing out on the most important, once in a life time quest, just so he can cuddle when you ask?

          € “Sorry guys, I have to do something Irl”

¤ When you *finally* go into labour, he freaks out, and you end up having to call the ambulance because he’s not calm enough to take you himself.

¤ Labour ends, and he probably won’t be able to use that hand for a while

¤ And then the doctor asks a simple question

     × “Would you both like to see the baby before signing the adoption papers?”

¤ You both kinda look at each other, silently deciding.

¤ And then he nods, and you nod, and the doctor goes off to get the baby.

¤ The baby is completely healthy. Perfect weight, and with bright violet eyes and just a little (H/c) hair.

¤ And as you get to hold the baby for a few minutes, he kinda just stares in awe.

¤ And the silence is broken

     × “MC”

     × “Yeah…”

     × “They… they kinda look like us, huh?”

     × “Mmhmm. They have your eyes”

     × “ And your hair… MC?”

     × “Yes, Yoosung?”

     × “Do you maybe wanna keep them? I mean I know we’re not really ready but people aren’t always ready, and maybe we can do it”

¤ And that was all it took.

 ÷BONUS÷

     × Yoosung has joined the chat

     × Mc has joined the chat

     × Mc: As many of you may have known, I was pregnant for the past 9 months

     × Zen: wait what?

     × Jaehee: I don’t believe you informed us

     × 707: Lololol they didn't 

     × Mc: Great news:

     × Yoosung: We’re keeping them!

     × Yoosung has left the chat

     × Mc has left the chat 

     × Zen: They’re joking right?


Zen

¤ Oh boy

¤ It was a common wonder if you were pregnant with this one.

¤ Because it was constantly

     × “Condoms can take the pleasure out of sex”

¤ That and birth control was a difficult thing to remember.

¤ So you kept a few pregnancy test

     × More like a box filled with them

¤ So when you took 2 test, and they both came back positive, you weren’t shocked

¤ But you decided to tell him in a more fun way

¤ So you bought baby carrots, a baby bottle and a pacifier 

¤ But when you got home, he was already there

¤ And holding a stick with pee

     × “Mc are you pregnant”

     × “Yes”

¤ You were disappointed because you had bought so much stuff to surprise him and he had found out in other means.

¤ But then he hugged you

     × “Mc I promise I’m going to be the best father that I can be, and I’ll always support the baby”

¤ And aww Zenny

¤ And then he proposed

     × “I know I don’t have a ring right now but marry me please”

     × “Of course”

¤ And waterworks come in, and well yeah its a happy day.

¤ He still does his plays, but will call you at every minute of the hour to make sure your okay

¤ If you want something, he will liTTERLY PAUSE REHERSAL SO HE CAN GO GET IT AND BRING IT TO YOU

     × “Zen where are you going?”

     × “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few minutes”

¤ Gets introuble alot, until he finally explains to the director whats going on

¤ When you go into labour, he’s in the middle of the real-deal play

¤ So his phone isn’t nearby

¤ When he finally hears the message he freaks out and runs to the hospital

¤ like litterly runs

¤ He gets there just on time, and won’t stop apologizing

     × “MC I’m so sorry, you know the premire was today and I didn’t have my phone on me”

     × “Stop apologizing and get over here”

¤ Push

¤ It’s a healthy baby.

¤ You got to hold the baby for about a minute before he starts complaining

     × “Come on MC I want to hold them too”

     × You’d glare at him “I just pushed them out of my va-jay-jay after holding them in my stomach for 9 months, I believe I can hold them longer than a minute”

¤ A happy little family


Jumin

¤ It wasn’t like you two were trying

¤ But you weren’t not trying either

¤ It was more of a if it happens it happens thing.

¤ So when it happened you were happy.

¤ You, ofcourse, went to the doctor first and got yourself checked

¤ And yep, 4 weeks pregnant.

¤ You managed to convice the doctor to give you a sonogram right there and then and you got a copy of it

¤ Now to tell Jumin

¤ You made his favourite dinner, made the table look nice.

¤ Four plates, one for you, another for Jumin, one for Elizabeth and finally one for the unborn child

¤ On the plate of the missing guest, the envelope that had the sonogram layed there. 

¤ When he gets home and dinner begins he’s absolutely confused 

    × “MC are we expecting guest?”

¤ Finally he notices the envelope, and becomes more curious

¤ He looks over at you, and you give him a nod that screams “Just open it already”

¤ So he does

¤ And he kinda stares at it for a while

¤ And you can’t read any emotion on his face

¤ And there’s just silence

¤ Until

    × “Is this a sonogram?”

    × “Yes”

    × “Is this your sonogram”

    × “Yes”

    × “Did you hear that Elizabeth 3rd? You will be a sister" 

¤ He eventually gets up and gives you a nice little kiss, that though it’s not too long means alot

¤ It’s joyous moment

¤ Low key scared that he will end up like his father

¤ When you find out you comfort him

     × ” Your father is your father, and you’re you"

¤ Now this boy will not let you do anything

¤ Right after the dinner, he hired a maid specifically for your needs only, durring the day time

¤ And at night when you get your cravings, he will get anything needed

¤ Well he won’t, but Jaehee will.

     × “Assistant Kang, I need you to buy some cheese with barbecue sauce and peanut butter”

     × “Mr.Han its 3:45 in the morning, where will I find that-”

     × He’s already hung up.

¤ And oooh boy, that baby hasn’t been born yet and already its been spoiled rotten.

¤ A nursery fit for royalty.

¤ Best toys

¤ And not to mention appointments 10 times a week

¤ Only the finest of doctors for his baby

¤ When you’re close to the due date he finds a way to work from home

¤ He convinces you to get a C-Section so that it doesn’t pain you as much

¤ Jumin Han? More like Daddy Han

¤ He won’t stop posting pictures of the baby and Elizabeth 3rd on the messenger


Jaehee 

¤ It happened while you two were on a break. 

¤ An open break

¤ And you were… well… drunk

¤ Pretty much a one night stand with no protection

¤ Eventually you an Jaehee did get back together like a week later

¤ And a week after that you weren’t feeling so hot

     × nausea, hungry, moody

¤ Felt like your period but the blood was missing

¤ Eventually Jaehee took you to your doctor.

¤ Your doctor ran the same test 5 times

¤ Finally they simply asked you if “You had been sexually active with a male”

¤ To which you reply no

¤ And a few seconds later Maybe/Yes

¤ Jaehee just like ??? What

¤ And then the news

     × “MC you’re pregnant”

¤ They leave you two alone to talk because he knows something happened

¤ There was silence for a few minutes

¤ And then you could hear Jaehee choke back a sob

     × “MC I thought you would have been different… I thought this would have been different”

¤ You begin to explain to her how it all happened and when

¤ It makes it better but not completely okay

¤ It takes a few months for her to completely over it 

¤ Once it gets to that point, shes ecstatic over the baby

¤ She always seems to have just what you need 

    × “Jaehee do you mind getting me a-”

    × She passes you a pickle covered in Nutela

    × “Thank you”

¤ When you go into labour she gets a call at work.

¤ Actually she gets 6 missed calls from an unknown number before deciding to pick up.

    × “Excuse me, am I speaking with Ms. Jaehee Kang?

    × “This is she”

    × “I am calling about Mc, she seems to have gone into labour early and you are the number marked into her emergency contacts- hello?”

¤ She was at the hospital faster than the speed limit allowed.

¤ After, of course, informing her boss

¤ She knew just how make you comfortable and not get her hand squeezed near broken by the end

¤ Your really exausted so she’s actually the first to hold the baby.

¤ They’re small, and a tad underweight but otherwise healthy.


Seven-o-Seven

¤ The thing is, you two have gotten frisky even when Saeran was home

¤ And anytime, everywhere

     × “Why can’t those two shut up for just one night”

¤ So the reality was, you getting pregnant was expected

¤ Except it never happened

¤ Because you, my dear, where as infertile as a mule

¤ Pregnancy was a difficult thing to achieve

¤ So babies didn’t seem like a possibility

¤ Until your boy Saeyoung came home wiTH TWO BABIES IN A BASKET

     × “Saeyoung is that what I think it is?”

     × “ If your thinking about babies, then yes”

     × “Idiot brother”

¤ So your a mom now

¤ He had gone ahead and bought the babies toys, and bottles, and food, and milk and everything necessary for a baby

¤ He always was the one to get up when one of them began to cry at night

¤ Even if you insisted that you had it

     × “Saeyoung I’ve got it”

     × “Go back to sleep, I’m already ready”

     × “But Saeyoung-”

     × “No cuts, no buts, no coconuts”

¤ He would always post pictures of the three/four/five of you together in the chat

     × Saeyoung: And in this picture we see my 4 favourite people

     × Zen: I still can’t believe you adopted 2 babies out of the blue like that

¤ Apparently your infertility wasn’t so infertile afterall

¤ Oops your pregnant

¤ When he finds out he’s excited 

¤ Cause like

¤ Three babies

¤ He lets you do even less than before 

¤ Once your big enough he won’t even let you carry around the babies

¤ You would use the cravings as a way to get him out of the house and carry the babies.

¤ He builds like 15 robots to play with the babies

¤ He buys like another ton of toys

¤ Not to mention he gets to prepare the nursery with time this time

     × Cat themed by the way

¤ When the third baby comes, you leave the other two with a panic-y Saeran 

¤ Speed limits are no limits

¤ After the baby is born, Saeyoung gets Saeran and the two babies

¤ Takes a family photo and posts it on the chat along with a “lololol”

  ÷ BONUS ÷

          × 707 has joined the chat

          × 707: Lololol look at my 5 favourite people

        × Attached is a photo of Saeran MC and three babies

          × Yoosung: Did you adopt again?! 

          × Yoosung’s Questionmark emoji is attached 

          × 707: Lolol nope

          × 707: This one was all me and MC

Saeran

¤ You could hardly call that sex

    × It was more like “lets see how fast we can fuck before Saeyoung gets back”

¤ You found out like a month later at a physical.

     × “Congratulations MC you’re pregnant”

¤ As soon as your out, cue panic.

¤ A baby??? A baby was not part of the plan

¤ You took the bus home because you needed to think this over, without the Choi twins knowing just yet

¤ An hour later your home

¤ Surprise: Saeran isn’t, and Saeyoung is kinda just looking at you weirdly.

¤ Saeyoung finally tells you what happened

¤ Those fuckers hacked into your medical files as soon as your appointment was over to make sure everything was “Just Fine”

¤ It wasn't 

¤ Pregnancy hormones started kicking in, and there were tears

¤ Saeran just happened to walk in at that moment after calming his own nerves

¤ There was more panic because he didn’t know how to comfort you.

¤ Eventually he pulls you aside into your room, hands you a tissue and waits for you to calm down.

¤ When that happens (like an hour later) he kinda just sighs and tries to work things out

     × “I know we didn’t plan this, but I know you’ll make a great mother, I’ll try to be a good dad”

¤ Comforting but he’s High-Key scared.

¤ When it’s all sort out he’s actually really cute 

× Low key loves to talk to your belly

     × Complains but always does what you ask him to do 

          € He would say “Mc It’s 3:47 in the morning where am I going to find that?” While he’s getting dressed.

     × Protective over you and the bump.

¤ When Due date comes he can’t stay in the room with you. Your screams almost give him a panic attack, so Saeyoung goes in his place while he stays a good 2 hallways away.

¤ When the baby is there, and he kinda just stares at it.

     ×"Its so tiny and chubby”

¤ But he immediately falls in love with them.

¤ He’s scared of carrying them

     × “What if I drop them?”

     × “You won’t”

¤ Eventually he does, while sitting next to you in the bed.

¤ Saeyoung ends up snapping a selfie and BOOM family photo


V

¤ Blind sex was great

¤ For all you kinky bastards its like a perpetual blindfold

¤ But blindness has its disadvantages

¤ For example: if your blind, you don’t notice when the condom’s broken

¤ Just so happens that’s what happened to our dear V

¤ And that became evident a week before his surgery

¤ On the pregnancy test 

¤ So instead of telling him, you decided to wear a shirt that would read out “Your going to be a father”

¤ Because whats better than the first thing you see after being blind for who knows how long being that your going to be a father 

¤ But that quickly backfires once he’s told that he can’t take off the bandages for three days

¤ And he takes them off at two

¤ And you don’t have the god damn shirt on

¤ And so the water works begin

¤ And so does the confusion and panic

     × “MC why are you crying? Aren’t you happy?”

     × All that be heard is incoherent crying

¤ And once your calm…enough… you explain

     × “It was supposed to be a surprise, the first thing you saw was supposed to be the shirt”

     × “What shirt?”

     × “The one telling you you were gonna be a dad”

¤ And boom the surprise was out.

¤ And holy fuck he was crying

¤ And not out of sadness but out of happiness 

¤ Cause not only did he get to see, he also got the best news of his life

¤ Next thing you know your pulled into a hug

     × “MC thank you, I love you! Thank you so much”

¤ He was supportive as hell

¤ Boy got you as many things as he could

¤ But due to his recent achievement of sight, he couldn’t get you it all

¤ There were certain things, like driving or walking in the night, that just weren’t safe enough for your liking

¤ So you’d ignore your craving until morning

¤ But he always made up for the time needed to get them by going to EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT YOU HAD

¤ Still it was helpful to you to have him there

¤ He takes so many pictures of you like there’s no tomorrow.

¤ You and the belly

¤ Everywhere

¤ You both agree a planed C-Section is the best choice, less pain, and less shock and panic than if your water broke

¤ When the day came, you both drove there

¤ He couldn’t stop talking about the unborn yet baby

¤ Once you where brought into the room

     × “Sir, I’m sorry you can’t take that camera into the opertating room”

¤ Someone isn’t getting invited to the next RFA party

¤ The baby was slightly underweight but beautiful none the less.

Wedding Bells

 Today was the day.

The day that she’d be getting married.The day that she’d walk down the aisle and make vows to her future husband.The day that she’d be legally binded to her partner - as husband and wife.

And Harry didn’t like that she was going to get married. Not at all. But he had a perfect reason (according to him) as to why he didn’t want the wedding to happen; he was still in love with her. 

The two of them had dated for several months and despite the fact that it’d been just about 2 years since the break up, the feelings Harry had towards her didn’t go away.Everyone thought he was over her,including his friends, and he should have been because it had been 2 years and they were friends now. 

Friends who acted like nothing happened between them.Like they hadn’t spent several months together.Like they never spend nights lying in bed with stolen kisses.Like he’d never touched her in the most intimate way.Like they never used to wake up with her in his shirt as he gazed at her adoringly….Like they were never in love.

It was hard enough for the love of his life to be with another man, but to be married was what tore Harry apart.That is why he couldn’t stand to watch the wedding ceremony take place.It would break his heart…Smash it into pieces as if it were glass. 

 He couldn’t watch her marry someone that wasn’t him.He really couldn’t. He tried fiddling with the envelope he was planning on giving her to distract himself; however that only made matters worse because all he could think about was their time together.So Harry stood up and abandoned his chair while clutching the envelope in his hand.

 “ ’M gonna go now mum.Just realised I have a meeting with Jeff online,” Harry uttered out,a tired sad smile placed on his face. He was so desperate to go home that he lied to his mother yet she never noticed the lie as she stood up to give him a small hug. “Don’t have too much fun,“ Anne spoke aloud with a smile on her face.He was working too hard.

He exited the chapel and had planned to leave straightaway but first things first, he needed to say ‘goodbye’ to the woman he loved and make an excuse as to why he was leaving.He couldn’t tell her the real reason….That is what the letter was for.

Harry walked towards her dressing room, the room in which she was supposed to be getting ready in.He stopped at the door and knelt down to drop the envelope that he had held in his hand from the moment that he had left his car. 

Standing back up, he steadied his hand before raising it into a fist.He hit the door once, staying silent as a voice spoke up from the inside of the room.”Can you please wait?I’ll just be a couple of minutes.” 

Harry didn’t wait any longer; it was officially time to leave.So as fast as he could run in a suit, he ran to his car.

Once reaching the vehicle,he placed his hands on it, breathing in and out.He opened the car door, igniting the engine as he placed the keys in its place and sat in his seat before shutting the door.Harry moved the handbrake , feet pressing against the pedal while he looked at the rear view mirror. He drove off as tears threatened to leave his eyes.He sniffled  to keep the tears at bay and bit the inside of his cheek but there was no way that he regret leaving.

The girl opened the door of her dressing room to find no-one there. Didn’t she just hear a knock?Maybe her wedding nerves were getting the best of her.She was about to shut the door when her eyes hit the floor where an envelope lay.

Grabbing it off the floor, she read the name…It was addressed to her. As she read the letter, she bit her lip, eyes reading each and every line.

-

Hi

I should have started this letter with a ‘dear,darling’ or another term of endearment but didn't because our friendship hasn't come that far; we’re just a couple of people hanging out in the same group.

I shouldn't be doing this, writing this letter but I have to because maybe then that burning feeling in my chest will go away. Maybe it won’t but I’ll feel better.

Remember when the both of us broke up a couple of years back?I was a bloody mess, crying my eyes out until my heart hurt and I fell asleep, just to start again the next day. I didn't do anything for days, just lied in bed wanting you back but I couldn't get you back,could I? Because I was the one that let you go.

You know as humans, we want others to be happy and I wanted the same for you.And as stupid as it may sound, that’s why I broke up with you.I loved you but you deserved better; you still do.

A week after we broke up, I flew to LA.I stayed there for a few months then came back for a bit before flying off again. Everyone thought I had work to do, that the writing for the album had to be done so I played along.Realistically I left because the weather was getting to me; it’s just so dreary and cold.I needed a bit of warmth.

Another reason why I left was so I could escape the places that reminded me of you. The coffee shop we used to drink in, the park we used to walk in.Everything.Especially our my bedroom.

I nearly did forget the way your nose scrunches when you’re disgusted by something.The way your eyes crinkle when you smile.The way we kissed, the way your body felt against mine; until I came to London ,December that year.

I remember everything so clearly.Nick wanted to hold a party.A party where the music is supposed to blur out the conversations. But that party was more like a get-together because all we did was joke around and drink some beer.It might have been due to the alcohol consumed but that night I felt relaxed; til you walked in.

When you walked in, I’m surprised that I didn’t stop breathing.You looked stunning,absolutely stunning.I should have been used to the fact that you’re naturally gorgeous  but it had been a year since we last saw each other.

You looked breathtaking,however that wasn’t the only reason I felt like losing my breath….You were with another man. Couldn’t believe that you moved on because I was pretty much still single.For a few seconds, I thought he was a friend of yours until he pressed a kiss on your cheek like I used to.He was your boyfriend, the guy you’re marrying today.

You stood at the door, smiling at everybody but then you did something unexpected.You started to walk towards me. I thought that maybe you were walking to someone else…There was no-one beside me. You kept walking so I stood up to greet you.

You uttered out a ‘hi’.All you got in response was a tight smile etched on my face before you turned away.His arm was around your waist,like mine used to be.And I think that’s when I knew, knew that even after a year without you, you still had my heart.

Like I once said; forever and always shall my love to you be.

All the love.

H

The soon to be bride, after reading the letter, dropped it to the floor.Tears were now pooled at her eyes.The letter had left her shaken;so shaken that she was now unsure of everything.

Unsure of if the letter was legitimate.Unsure if she was ready to get married to the man waiting outside for her.Unsure if he was really the man she wanted to spend her life time with,unsure if he was the right man for her.

She had to leave the wedding, just as Harry had done.She couldn’t marry her soon to be husband, not when she was so unsure of everything.The tears that were pooled in her eyes, were now trailing down her face.Her make up was smudged but did she care?No.

Because in the hidden depths of her heart, she knew that she still loved Harry.

The Last Five Years - Sentence Starters
  • [name] is over and [name] is gone.
  • I'm still hurting.
  • What about things that you swore to be true?
  • Go and hide and run away!
  • Run away, run and find something better.
  • Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn.
  • I've been waiting for someone like you.
  • I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand like an idiot, scared to death.
  • My people have suffered for thousands of years and I don't give a shit!
  • I guess I can't believe you really came.
  • See, I'm smiling--That means I'm happy that you're here.
  • I think we're gonna be okay.
  • With all we've had to go through, we'll end up twice as strong.
  • I didn't know you had to go so soon.
  • We'll have tonight.
  • You know what makes me crazy?
  • I'm sorry, can I say this?
  • You could be here with me or be there with them - as usual, guess which you pick.
  • You can't spend a single day that's not about you and you and nothing but you!
  • I swear to God I'll never understand how you can stand there straight and tall and see I'm crying, and not do anything at all.
  • Things are moving too fast.
  • I won't do anything just half-assed.
  • I met my personal Aphrodite.
  • I'm feeling panicked and rushed and hurried.
  • I'm so happy I can't get worried.
  • Next day it's just like it never happened.
  • And then he smiles - his eyes light up and how can I complain?
  • Yes, he's insane, but look what he can do.
  • I tend to follow in his stride instead of side by side.
  • I said I'd stick it out and follow through.
  • I'm a part of that...aren't I?
  • Maybe your heart's completely swayed, but your head can't follow through.
  • Don't you think that now's a good time to be the ambitious freak you are?
  • You get to be happy!
  • Take a breath, take a step, take a chance - take your time.
  • Have I mentioned today how lucky I am to be in love with you?
  • I'm sharing a room with a "former" stripper and her snake: Wayne.
  • I could shove an ice pick in my eye, I could eat some fish from last July, but it wouldn't be as awful as [fill in what you wish].
  • He wants me, he wants me, but he ain't gonna get me.
  • Son of a bitch, I guess I'm doing something right!
  • 'Cause the torture is just exquisite while I'm waiting for you to visit.
  • We should go meet the dinosaurs.
  • Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes?
  • There are so many lives I want to share with you.
  • But if you can just wait I will make it eventually.
  • Not like I'm proud of the fact.
  • I want to be your wife, I want to bear your child, I want to die knowing I had a long, full life in your arms.
  • Will you share your life with me for the next ten lifetimes?
  • There are so many dreams I need to see with you.
  • There are so many years I need to be with you.
  • Everyone tells you that the minute you get married every other woman in the world suddenly finds you attractive.
  • And all of a sudden, this pair of breasts walks by and smiles at you and you're like - "That's not fair!"
  • In a perfect world a miracle would happen.
  • I shouldn't care what she thinks since I can't fuck her anyway!
  • Don't despair, I'll be there.
  • I am a good person!
  • Stop looking at that, look at me.
  • Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck.
  • I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by.
  • Can we please for a minute stop blaming and say what you feel?
  • Did you think this would all be much easier than it's turned out to be?
  • If I didn't believe in you, we'd never have gotten this far.
  • Don't we get to be happy at some point down the line?
  • If I'm cheering on your side, why can't you support mine?
  • No one can give you courage.
  • I will not lose because you can't win.
  • He wouldn't leave me alone 'less I went with him to dinner.
  • I guess he was good in bed.
  • He blew me off with a heartfelt letter.
  • I can do better than that.
  • You don't have to change a thing, just stay with me.
  • I want you and you and nothing but you.
  • I don't want to throw up your walls and defenses.
  • It feels like my life led right to your side and will keep me there from now on.
  • Think of what's past, because we can do better.
  • Hey, kid - good morning. You look like an angel.
  • I don't remember when we fell asleep.
  • Nobody needs to know.
  • Come back to bed, kid.
  • Hold on, don't cry yet.
  • I won't let you go.
  • Maybe I could be in love with someone like you.
  • Goodbye until tomorrow.
  • I have been waiting for you.
  • I'm not the only one who's hurting here.
  • I don't know what the hell is left to do.
  • I could never rescue you.
  • All I could do was love you hard and let you go.
  • So we could fight, or we could wait, or I could go...
  • I didn't see a way we both could win.
  • Goodbye.
Raw and Honest Marriage Reflection Conversation with M
  • Me: I'm working on myself and would love to hear if you notice anything.
  • M: Am I missing something you're wanting me to notice?
  • Me: No, not that I know offhandedly.
  • M: I feel like I failed a test lol.
  • Me: I have been working on changing how I view things so that my approach could be better. Would be better. A little cognitive behavior therapy on myself. Thoughts become actions and actions become thoughts. So I'm working on both.
  • M: Awesome.
  • Me: For example like at the park when my friend left and I stayed there with Jumping Bean. I? was on edge watching for any man to enter the area but I stayed and played with him the entire time. And than how I responded to the bullies. I pretty much completely ignored them after immediately dismissing them. Normally I would have gotten right back into their face when they got into mine.
  • M: I'm proud for how you handled those girls babe. And you are totally on the right track. You are having a positive outlook more often than not and you aren't letting the little things bother you as much.
  • Me: I want to do better. For myself, our son, and you too.
  • M: And that's the right order to do things.
  • Me: I'll continue to work on it and improve. I have noticed some personal differences in myself but I don't think they are apparent yet.
  • M: Like what?
  • Me: Honestly? I'm not sure if I should say it. I don't want to hurt you. Do you still want to know?
  • M: Well now I have to know.
  • Me: Honestly, I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
  • M: What do you mean by that?
  • Me: I felt like I was constantly getting scolded by you for the smallest infractions. As if I was a small child getting spoken down to.
  • M: Could you give me an example?
  • Me: If I would say something slightly in disagreement with you you would speak down to me until I backed up. Essentially telling me I'm wrong every time I spoke or did something. I realized just how much that conditioning effected me and how much I didn't say or do something because I didn't want to be looked down at nor spoken down to by you. It made me feel like I could never tell you anything. You would even say a comment or give me a look while my friends were over and I would immediately shut down until you left again.
  • M: I had no idea. I love you babe you shouldn't have to feel that way around me. Glad I left then.
  • Me: I love you so much babe. And I always wanted to make you happy and proud but in the process I've given up and lost a lot of myself and never truly realized how much. How ingrained it had become. I like like none of my passions mattered. For a small example was when I shared something a friend had said, and you gave me that look and said something like "Why would they say that? My friends and I never would," in that tone of voice that just made me disappear. A tone of voice that made me feel as if I was a total disappointment to you. When all that I had shared was that several of my new friends found me attractive, my new friends whom you know are open and honest about who they are attracted to while still being extremely respectable and not going near the boundaries.
  • M: I'm sorry my love. Something else for me to work on while I'm here.
  • Me: It's been years upon years of it. I realized that I go dead silent or worse agree with you when you'd say something that I was not okay with at all that anyone else I'd confront them immediately about. It's all things that all of my friends have been telling me for years but I never understood what they truly meant when they told me until a bit after you left for this training.
  • "You're not yourself around him."
  • "You seem different."
  • "Are you okay? Are you sick?"
  • Are some of the things I've been told.
  • M: So then ... Do you want to try to work this out once I get home or ... ?
  • Me: Absolutely yes love. I knew I was more reserved around you than anyone else but it never hit me just how different I had allowed myself to become for you, for our relationship. I love you so much babe and I always have. I don't want to lose you. I didn't want to hurt you at all.
  • M: I'm not hurt and don't worry about hurting me. It's the truth and it needed to be said. And now that I know we can focus on that.
  • Me: I knew it was an issue and had tried to tell you in the past multiple times but it took a few weeks apart to realize how much. Does me ever telling you something along the lines of my throat closing up when I try to tell you soemthing or my voice getting choked up ring a bell?
  • M: Yes.
  • Me: Or me trying to tell you something and looking away and fidgeting while I tried to tell you something bring up any memories? During each and every of those moments you were employing the scolding voice and/or look. So often that even when you were not yet I knew it was only a matter of time. I was being scolded and punished for any and all infrastructures I felt. You would withhold love and affection and give me the silent treatment too for my infrastructures. For hours at a time. You've sent me to bed too, banished me rather.
  • M: Okay, that one I don't really remember, but I get your point. I have been an abusive shit of a boyfriend/husband. And I'll work on it and pay more attention to you and what you need.
  • Me: I don't think you're a shit, not purposefully, but I do think things were getting toxic between us on both sides. I love you so much babe and I don't want to lose you. I do NOT want us to break up. I want to be with you if we can fix our relationship. I desperately want to work this out babe.
  • M: Let's do it then.
  • Me: How do we? How do we find ourselves and each other again? How do we fix this?
  • M: Be yourself and do your thing while I am here doing my thing. We come back together as each other. Possibly get couples counseling when we get to our next location after my training is finished.
  • Me: What if you hate me? You already told me in November if you met me today as I am as the man that you are today you wouldn't be interested in me. It already broke my heart when you told me that.
  • M: I can assure you that I don't hate you. And we are different people now than we were then. The best advice Dad ever gave me was that love changes because people change. You will love differently because you are different. But it's still love. I still love you babe.
  • Me: Still loving me has never been a question but you were acting and essentially said that you didn't like the person I am today. I've been reserved and holding myself in check for you. I can only imagine how much you'd be against the real me.
  • M: I'm sorry that it came across that way. I love you and only you.
  • Me: I've long ago learned that I've never been monogamous with love. It may be five or more years between loving another, but it is there always.
  • M: And we will work with that.
  • Me: Is this something that will destroy you? Destroy us?
  • M: Can't give an answer to that unknown. Honestly. But I want to be with you.
  • Me: I guess it boils down to one of us will have to give something up. Neither of us has control over our hearts. I know it has been a point of tension in our entire relationship. I tried to be mono for you for many years, but about halfway through your our relationship after you returned from deployment I couldn't do it anymore no matter how hard I tried. Since than our relationship has been open since we opened it, but I remained reserved for you, for us. Nobody else was worth my time and effort to get to know other than Kitten while we dated her and when I met and formed a strong connection with Red Stag during which I've developed emotions for him and him for me. I've fallen hard for him.
  • M: We will do better love. I don't want to lose you, nor you lose yourself.

mysterious-teen-blogger  asked:

You are planning to write another part I the sequel of a sequel right??? I think I would die if you didn't! Please, please when you get the chance write that shiz!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

Chloe doesn’t understand how Beca could fall asleep after the conversation they just had, after asking her to come to LA with her. But here she is, sleeping like a baby, drooling on Chloe’s shirt with one arm around her just like she had before they both awakened. Chloe wonders if maybe she’s dreamed the whole thing.


The thing is, she knows she didn’t.

She has dreamt of confessing her love to Beca before, and the girl returning her feelings. And every time she did, she woke up empty, like the dreams had drained her for everything she had. As if her mind had to work so hard to imagine such an unrealistic thing to happen, they couldn’t preform any tasks during the upcoming hours.

Keep reading

Strawberry Kisses

So I have written this fic for billyiscoolerthanyou because she won my little contest from a while ago!

Her prompt was: Dan feels depressed and has an eating disorder and Phil finds out. (Ending will be cute) ———————————— One… two… three… four… Dan was counting the little leaves he plucked off the strawberries, one by one. It was a hypnotizing occupation, actually. The smell seemed more amazing than ever before. Five… six… seven… ‘Dan?’ Phil’s voice went through his whole body and full of shock he dropped the strawberry on the ground. Quickly he picked it upagain, but didn’t eat it. He hadn’t even heard Phil coming in. 'Phil, what’s up?’ 'Why have you been sitting here for twenty minutes, looking at that strawberry?’ 'Excuse me!? I have eaten them, too, weirdo.’ That was a lie, and he felt Phil knew.  'Then why are there no less strawberries on the plate?’ Phil spoke, pointing at the plate on their living room table. 'I bought more this morning and just put them on the plate, too. It looks so ugly when the plate’s only half full, that’s the reason.’ 'Oh, okay.’ Phil sighed. 'I’m unexpectedly going to eat in town with Louise now, do you feel like coming with us?’ 'Nah, sorry man, already got plans.’ 'With who?’ It was quiet for a moment. 'The internet, very romantic,’ Dan tried to joke it off. 'That’s stupid. You haven’t seen friends like Louise for so long! Well, anyway, if you feel like coming, we’re at the Cat Café.’ Phil went to leave but just before the door he stopped and turned around. 'Dan, please eat that freaking strawberry, you’ve been holding that for minutes now.’ And with that, he left. Dan didn’t eat the strawberry. —– Fuck, he’d lost count. Where was he? Eighty-five? He’d probably been doing this too long. He picked up the strawberries with their plucked leaves and wrapped them in some toilet paper and threw them in the garbage bin. The toilet paper was necessary, as otherwise Phil would find out he hadn’t eaten them but thrown them away. This is what he had done with most of his food for the last four months.  Now it was time to weigh himself. Phil was in town again with Louise, so he didn’t have to be too secretive. It was three days ago when they went to th Cat Café and Dan couldn’t help but feel a little put aside, even though it was mostly his own fault. He walked to the bathroom and opened the little cupboard in which the scale was placed. There was a toothbrush on it, which Dan shove aside. He then took out the scale, stepped on it and closed his eyes, waiting for it to show him how heavy he was. —– One hundred twenty. One fucking hundred twenty pounds. He hadn’t even lost that much weight. Disappointing, to say the least. He placed the scale back in the cupboard and went to his room. Just then he realized how much he hated other things counting him, measuring him, telling him what he was. He shove his curtains aside and starting looking outside. London. The weather represented quite well how he felt. Cloudy, grey, the sun trying to shine through but not succeeding. Sometimes thoughts of simply jumping out of the window wandered through his head. It wasn’t that he wanted to die, but he just didn’t see the joy in living anymore. Everything was fucked up. He looked awful these days. Fat, tired and sick. Often he felt guilty for not finding the motivation to upload more videos. And then there was Phil, who made things so much better and so much worse at the same time.  Hopelessly in love. That was all there really was to say. Phil was the first and last thing he’d think about everyday and the fact that Phil would often rather go out with friends than stay at home with Dan was hurting him. It was absolutely normal and realistic for Phil to do that, but still Dan often felt forgotten and less loved by Phil than before. The definition of that 'love’ was unclear to Dan. They were best friends, but sometimes Dan thought there was more. Their cuddles just lasted a little too long. But then again it may just be wishful thinking. —– Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine… twelve o'clock. Phil had said he’d be home by twelve. Dan couldn’t help but always wait for Phil to come home when he’d gone out. Not that he’d let Phil know, he’d do it secretely by simply staying awake in bed until he’d hear Phil enter their apartment. He just had to be sure Phil got home safely. Probably because Phil was the only thing in his life that could sometimes make him smile and actually feel good and he just had to be sure that his only source of gladness was sage. Pathetic, he thought of himself. Phil’s an adult, not a kid. Stop treating him like a baby. He isn’t a baby. He isn’t your baby. He isn’t yours. Just as he got lost in his own self-destructing thoughts again, as he’d do every night, he heard a door click. Then something fell on the floor. Now he was sure it was Phil, as Phil would always drop something on the floor when he came home. Some kind of undiscovered and useless talent. But Phil was home, and now he could sleep. —– Three knocks. Dan groaned. What the fuck? He had finally fallen asleep. Was this death to tell him his life was finally over? 'Dan?’ Suddenly Dan was completely awake. He looked at the clock and saw it was only one o'clock. 'Phil, what’s wrong?’ Dan sat up straight in his bed. 'You’re asking me!?’ He sounded angry. 'What the fuck? Phil, I haven’t done anything and it’s midnight! If you won’t explain then go away please.’ 'If only you gave me the time to explain!’ 'Can’t it wait till the fucking morning?’ 'No!’ Dan didn’t feel like yelling back again. Not at Phil. Phil was never angry, especially not with Dan, so this kinda scared him. 'Let’s talk in the living room, Phil.’ 'No, let’s do it here. Dan….’ Phil sighed. 'Why are you destructing yourself?’ Silence. Dan could count the seconds, but didn’t. More important things were happening. 'What are you even talking about!?’ 'Dan, I’ve seen for months you’re not well. But since this week it’s going downhill so fast…’ 'Excuse me!?’ Dan so didn’t feel like having this conversation. Phil shouldn’t and wouldn’t know. 'Dan… I- I’ve seen it. The scale. I mean, that you are trying to lose weight.’ 'That’s fucking bullshit!’ 'You moved the toothbrush. That I placed on it. So you have weighed yourself. A lot, actually. Don’t lie, I know.’ Dan was shocked. Stunned. Numb.  'Dan, I only want to-’ 'WHY do you interfere with my life!? Just keep your head out of my business Phil!! I can’t believe you!’ 'You’re skinny. I don’t want you to kill yourself.’ 'Please get out of my room. How dare you!’ 'Dan, please-’ 'I said get OUT. You clearly don’t give a fuck about my privacy or me-’ And that’s when Phil walked, almost ran from the door towards Dan and forced his lips on Dan’s. Rough, yet full of love. Angry, but so soft. Their lips slided against each other and the feeling warmed Dan up inside. Phil grabbed Dan’s neck and automatically Dan’s hand went to Phil’s back. They bit each other’s lips and grabbed each other harder to be closer. It was very wet and full of all the emotions they had both recently felt. Suddenly Dan felt tears rolling over his cheeks. Phil probably tasted the salt in their kisses, as he looked up to see Dan crying. 'Phil… I’m so confused.'  Phil hugged Dan, who placed his head in the crook of Phil’s shoulder. 'I understand, Dan. Fuck, why do you destroy yourself? You’re so precious. So amazing, so full of love and kindness.’ 'I don’t know, Phil, I don’t know.'  'You have weighed yourself more than fifty times. I counted.’ 'Please don’t count everything I do. Ever. Not anymore.’ 'I can’t promise that if you’re still doing that yourself.’ 'What do you mean?’ 'Dan, can’t you see? You are the only one measuring yourself, hating you. That’s because you measure everthing about you. Not because other people or other things do that.’ 'I can’t stop counting, Phil.’ 'Maybe not. But you can stop counting that. You should start counting other things.’ 'Like?’ Phil kissed him. 'Like how many kisses I will give you from now on each day.'  Dan smiled. 'Or how many times… I make you laugh!’ And with that Phil started tickling Dan’s tummy. 'PHIL! PHI- STOP!!’ Dan laughed and Phil stopped. 'Or… how many times I will tell you I love you?’ Phil spoke, with slight hesitation. 'Why was there a question mark?’ 'Because I wasn’t sure how you’d react…’ 'I love you, Phil.’ 'I love you too, Dan.’ They both smiled. —– 'Phil?’ 'Yeah?’ It was twenty minutes later. They’d just been sitting on Dan’s bed, talking calmly and sometimes share little kisses. 'Will you stay here with me? Tonight? Just to- sleep?’ 'Yes, under one condition…’ 'Which is?’ 'Wait here.’ Phil stood up from the bed and walked out of the bedroom. A minute later he came back with a strawberry.  'Eat this and then I’ll stay here for the night.’ Dan hesitated. 'For me?’ Phil added. Dan smiled. 'Okay…’ Phil handed him the strawberry, which he ate, while still smiling. 'Tastes good.’ Phil snuck in the bed besides Dan and pulled the blankets over the both of them. 'We’ll get through this, Dan, together. I love you.’ 'Seven.’ 'What?’ 'You said you loved me seven times today. I counted’
Careful What You Wish For Pt 8 (The End)

Before I finish this little project up, I wanted to explain a little something. This AU was part of a flash fiction challenge I made up for myself. Each part was written, revised, and edited in an hour or less (in case you were wondering why they were short and sloppy). Why did I do this? Because I could. I had fun with it. It was fast, it was hard, and it was a lot of fun to make. Thank you all for reading it and sharing it. I hope you like how I ended my 8 hour story. 

Genesis thought summoning a demon would be the key to gaining the wisdom he needed. Instead, he seems to have summoned a young, hungry, and contrary demon.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Keep reading

5SOS Preference #1- Jealousy
  • Ashton: (Your POV) You watched your feet as you walked, the sun shining in your eyes. Ashton's hand was wrapped tightly around yours as we walked. He smiled down at you.
  • He was about to speak when a group of teenage girls quickly rushed over, squealing and yelling Ashton's name.
  • One of the particularly very pretty girls rushed over to him first with a big smile on her face. The other girls crowded all the way around him, making you be pushed aside.
  • You narrowed your eyes, half because the sun was still in your eyes and half because of the jealously in the pit of your stomach.
  • The girl who got to him first, pulled a pen out of her purse and smiled sweetly at him.
  • "I, uh, don't have any paper on me, but you could sign something else?" She suggested.
  • Ashton looked confused at first, but once she started to spread her shirt collar wider so he could sign her chest, he got the picture.
  • He cleared his throat awkwardly and if you saw correctly, his cheeks turned a little pink.
  • You rolled your eyes and looked away. Normally, you don't think you would care about this, but the fact that you were literally just a few feet away from him, it made everything just a totally different story. And being tired and hot didn't help your mood either.
  • After her, he signed autographs for the other girls, who luckily did have paper.
  • You stood on the sidelines until he was done, then he walked back over to you.
  • "Hey, you ready to go?" He asked
  • "Yeah." You muttered and looked away from him.
  • "You okay?" He asked, taking your hand in his.
  • "Yeah, I'm totally fine." You said sarcastically.
  • You both stay silent for most of the time walking home until he spoke once again.
  • "You're jealous, aren't you?" He asked with a sly smirk placed on his face.
  • You looked away from him. "Maybe." You grumbled.
  • He just laughed and pulled you closer by you waist and kissed the top of your head.
  • Luke: It was your one year anniversary with Luke and were trying your best to get ready on time. Luke said he was taking you to some fancy restaurant and to wear something nice. So you put on your nicest dress, your favorite pair of heels and did make-up as best as you could. Once you were finished, you walked downstairs where Luke was waiting for you.
  • Once you were half way down the stairs, Luke, who was waiting by the door, looked up at you and smiled.
  • "God, you look beautiful." He breathed as you made your way towards him. You smiled at him and he placed his hands on your waist. He leaned down and started kissing you. Suddenly the kiss got too heated and, unfortunately you had to pull away.
  • "We have reservations." You said.
  • "We could just stay home," He suggested. "And do something else." He smirked.
  • You rolled your eyes and pulled away so his hands weren't on your waist anymore.
  • "Nope. Let's go." You said with a smile and you were out the door.
  • Once you got to the restaurant, you signed in your name for your reservation and made your way to your seat.
  • You both chatted for awhile until your waiter came.
  • "Hello, I'm Alex and I'll be your waiter today. Do you know what you'd like?" You both told him what you'd like to order and he smiled. Then he looked at you before leaving. "And by the way Miss, you look beautiful this evening." Then he turned to leave.
  • You blushed a little and smiled at the compliment. But Luke looked rather pissed.
  • "What's the matter?" You asked and took a sip of your drink.
  • "I don't like him." He grumbled.
  • "What? Our waiter? I think he's nice." You defended.
  • He rolled his eyes and didn't continue the conversation.
  • The waiter's flirty attitude continued throughout the night. He made subtle compliments to you, made jokes, and it seemed to you that he made the most ludicrous reasons to come to your table and talk. Which didn't make Luke any happier.
  • At the end of the night the waiter, Alex, left the check on your table. When he sat it down, he looked to you and gave you a little wink. You grabbed the check to look at it. Everything seemed normal until you looked at the bottom of the paper. In his handwriting was a phone number and 'call me'. Luke saw this and muttered something you couldn't make out.
  • "Okay, that tears it." He said and was about to get up.
  • You quickly put your hand on his and softly spoke.
  • "Luke, it's okay. I'm never going to see this guy again. Just calm down."
  • He looked at you and slowly sat down. "I just don't like when people flirt with you. It makes me jealous..." He trailed off.
  • You smirked a little. "There's no reason to be jealous. I'm yours and only yours."
  • Michael: You were applying the last of your lipstick and doing the final touches on your hair. Michael was taking you to a party later today and you were making sure you looked your best. Finally you were done and got to leave.
  • You weren't really much a party person. So you've been to, maybe, 2 parties in your whole life. And those parties usually consisted of 30-40 people. This party was going to contain a whole lot more.
  • You were resting your head on your hand and looking through the window. Suddenly you heard music playing faintly. You turned to the radio and saw that it wasn't on. Then you realized that must have been the party. You also realized you were like a block away from the party. This was going to be one hell of an experience, you thought.
  • When you finally arrived there, you were certain that was the music you were hearing. The number of the people at the parties you were at was probably the same number of kids outside.
  • You both got out of the car and walked inside. Michael kept a protective arm around your waist the whole time.
  • Most of the time, you were following Michael around and making sure you knew where he was. Then around midnight, about the time you guys were about to leave, he had to use the bathroom.
  • You sat down and looked over the sight in front of you. The majority of the teenagers were making out by now or doing something far worse in public, so you averted your eyes to your lap.
  • Someone ended up taking a seat next to you. A guy. He smiled at you.
  • "What's a pretty girl like you doing here all by yourself." He asked with a smirk.
  • "Actually, uh, I have a boyfriend. He's in the bathroom." You said awkwardly.
  • He smiled. "Well, I can tell by looking at you, that he's lucky to have you." He smiled.
  • Unlike the rest of the people here, this guy seemed totally sober.
  • You felt yourself blush. "Thanks." You smiled.
  • You both ended up striking up a conversation when Michael came back.
  • "Hi, I'm ba- Who's this?" He said eying the guy up and down.
  • The guy smiled. "Hi, I'm Charlie, and you must be her boyfriend."
  • "Yeah, I am." He said, still eying him intensely.
  • "Well, I'll go. Nice meeting you." He said to you and walked off.
  • Once he was gone, Michael looked at you. "Why were you talking to him?" He questioned.
  • You shrugged. "He just sat by me and started talking."
  • "Did he try anything with you?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
  • You scoffed a little. "No! Nothing happened." You said with a light laugh. "Are you jealous?" You asked.
  • "No." He defended. "I just don't like when other guys talk to you when I'm not here."
  • "That's called being jealous, Michael." You said.
  • "No, that's called loving you and me not wanting you to break up with me." He said.
  • "Okay, okay." You said with a laugh, but then quickly muttered, "No, that's called being jealous."
  • Calum: "So, Calum, how's your girlfriend, Y/N?" The interviewer asked in her sweet voice.
  • You were sitting off in the audience at one of their interviews. You never got to do this before, so to be honest, to you this was pretty exciting.
  • Calum smiled at the mention of your name. "She's doing pretty well." He said. "I can't really speak for her, but from what I know she's doing well." He smiled and looked over at you. You gave him a wave and a small wink.
  • "So, Y/N is definitely very lucky to have you, isn't she?" The interviewer asked again. Suddenly becoming very flirty.
  • "Uh, well actually I think it's the other way around. I think I'm really lucky to have her." He smiled.
  • The interviewer smiled. "Well, I know that she's certainly very lucky to have you, also."
  • The interviewer's flirty attitude continued through the interview. And the weird thing was, it was only towards Calum.
  • You said there uncomfortably for most of the interview. You tried everything to keep yourself from running up there.
  • Once the interview was over, Calum walked towards you.
  • "Wow, she must really like me." He joked about the interviewer.
  • "Yeah." You muttered, looking down.
  • "Hey, everything okay? He asked bringing my chin up.
  • "Yeah, it just bothers me that she was flirting with you." You mumbled again.
  • "Hey, it's okay. There's no reason to be jealous or anything. I love you, you know that. Nothing could ever change that."
Hilary Duff's Interview on "Reddit"
  • Fan: What will your second single be?
  • Hilary: I don't know what it's going to be!
  • Fan: Would you like to make another album down the line or will "Breathe In. Breathe Out." be your last?
  • Hilary: God, I hope not! I really want to make more music. I already want to start working on another record! I've lived with this one for so long now. I know everyone else is just now hearing it, but I'm already thinking of the next step. I will definitely not wait as long to make another record.
  • Fan: Hi Hilary! Fans were wondering about the songs that didn't make the album that you mentioned in interviews or posted clips of (i.e. Feel Alive, If I Fall, This Heart etc.) and wanted to know what happened to them and if we will ever hear them? Secondly, I wanted to know if you can see yourself making more albums after "Breathe In. Breathe Out."?
  • Hilary: That's the tough thing about making a record. You start somewhere, and you end somewhere, and only a certain amount of songs can be on a record. And the strong survive. It's sad. "If I Fall" is one of my favorite songs, and "This Heart" is a song I wrote about Luca, so maybe I'll sing it live in concert with him there, i sing it to him in general, but that's the way it goes - you cut some songs, they might not be as strong as others, but there's always options of ways to use them. Another song I wrote for the album is "Outlaw," and we put that in YOUNGER - so now we put it as a bonus track on a special record that you could only get here or there. But that's just the way it works - and you only have a certain amount of spaces.
  • Fan: Last month you performed (on my 20th birthday actually!) in front of a huge audience for the first time in a while.. how did that feel?! Do you have any plans for pop-up concerts this summer or maybe even a tour?!
  • Hilary: I do have some plans for a pop-up tour, maybe one or two shows, just to play the new music. But nothing set in stone yet. All is depending on schedule. But yeah, I definitely want to sure, I'm just shooting the second season of YOUNGER in September, taking a break for Christmas, and then getting a show together. I'm really missing playing live shows, and being onstage, and it felt so good to play that Boston radio show and see a live audience in front of me again.
  • Fan: Hey Hilary! Thanks for doing this today. I have always been a fan. Saw you twice in concert in 2004/2005. My sister & I used to fight over who loved you more!! I can't tell you how many posters we had of you. Tour books, door-sized posters, DVDs, CDs. It's been incredible to see you grow into a successful, independent, & beautiful adult. So my questions are which do you favor more? music or acting? Why? Also, what's the most meaningful song on Breathe In. Breathe Out to you? Also will we see you on Haylie's cooking show? Thank you so much!
  • Hilary: Well, first of all. That's a cute story. I have stories with my sister like that too. I would say maybe I feel more comfortable with acting, you know? I've done that longer. I feel like that was my passion as a child, and my dream. And I fell into the singing, and obviously, get something totally different from it. I love being a musician now. I think it took me a long time to consider myself that, because I really have to work at it. But being onstage, there's no other feeling like it. It's tough to choose. Being in front of a live audience is something really special. I'm trying to get an answer first! They're both so different. This season I was so upset, but I didn't get to be on Haylie's show. I was so busy with my record and traveling so much that none of our dates matched up. It was such a bummer, because it's such an amazing show, and we have so much fun together. And it's a shame, because we have so much fun cooking together. Next season, i will! My favorite song on Breathe In. Breathe Out., one that's close to my heart is "Braveheart." I wrote that song. And it's a bit of a sad song, but there's definitely strength in it. And I love that about it.
  • Fan: What would you tell the 13 year old you?
  • Hilary: Mmmm. I remember feeling really insecure at 13. Like, part of my job was...I had to have a certain confidence, and a certain bravery, but inside I felt like a very normal insecure 13 year old. And I guess I would tell her to just take it easy on herself. That everything sorts itself out. And everything's not such a big deal. And I guess I would be like "Just wait until you're an adult - Wait until you're an ADULT, if you think that's a big deal!" And I'd give her a pat on the back, and say "Good job. Calm down!"
  • Fan: A few years ago a friend and I were walking toward Avalon on a Thursday night when he spotted you at Katsuya. Being young and naive, I got very excited and turned back, at which I time I pointed at you and shouted "YOU'RE HILARY DUFF!" Then you slowly turned and walked away, seemingly frightened. Do you remember this encounter? If so, I apologize for startling you.
  • Hilary: *smiles* No, I don't remember that encounter, but I guess I'm used to being yelled at in public!
  • Fan: Hi Hilary! What is your favorite part of being a mom? What is your best remedy for when Luca has a cough?
  • Hilary: Ooh, that's a good one. I think I feel so grateful that I get to have so many new experiences with him. I mean, everything in my life has changed because of him, and all of it is for the better. It's so entertaining to watch how his little brain works, and the questions that he asks me, the things he's interested in - it's amazing to watch him grow and become a little person, and I get to watch him grow and follow along with him. And laugh a ton in the process. It's great.
  • It depends on how bad it is. They make some natural cough syrup that I will use? I'll try to keep a humidifier in his room. And put baby Vic's vapor rub on his feet and his chest when he's sleeping.
  • Fan: What's your favorite Taylor Swift song?
  • Hilary: Oooooh, toughie. Tough call. Maybe "Welcome to New York"?
  • Fan: Is there a reason why Hilary is spelled with only one "L"?
  • Hilary: Because my parents really made a huge mistake! I don't know... I like the way my name is spelled, and I think now the rest of the world knows how to spell my name, but growing up, it was pretty much ALWAYS misspelled.
  • Fan: Hiii Hilary! You are always camera ready and gorgeous, what's one makeup/beauty tip you can share with us?
  • Hilary: I am DEFINITELY NOT always camera-ready, or gorgeous, but thank you! Hmmmm. What's a good camera tip? I think not enough people focus on eyebrows. That's one thing I focus on a lot. Eyebrows frame your face. People tend to make their eyebrows too small, or too light. I think if you played around with it, you'd be surprised what the outcome would be.
  • Fan: Harry Potter or The Hunger Games? lol Love you!
  • Hilary: AWWWW that's EVIL! How am I supposed to choose?!?! HUNGRY POTTER! Yeah, I love the Hunger Games. But I might say Harry Potter.
  • Fan: What was it like working with Tove Lo? She seems like such a fun person. I'm in love with your new album and I hope you enjoyed working on it as much as I enjoy listening to it.
  • Hilary: Aww, thank you! I love hearing that.
  • Loved working with Tove. She's a cool chick, for sure. REALLY talented. And really added something special to my record. I'm really grateful for that.
  • Fan: what has been your biggest challenge to record your new album?
  • Hilary: I think... it's just been a growing experience. From the start of it to the end, it's just learning a lot about myself and about what I want to talk about and what I want to say and how I want to reach people and what I want them to know about me. How my voice sounds. It's been 7 years since I made a record. And I guess it was a very therapeutic experience, but also a lot of pressure to get it right, you know?
  • Fan: Hi Hilary, What do you have to say to your male fans? We love you, and we wish you all the best as this brand new BIBO era is about to begin! We want as many singles as possible, and come to Toronto please!
  • Hilary: I guess I would say what I would say to any of my fans, which is I'm really grateful for your support, and sticking by me for such a long time. You make an impact, and a difference, in my life. And I hope you relate to what I have to say on this record. And this is definitely going to be an exciting new journey, and I hope you come along for it!
Preference #57: Another One

Jack: You saw how they looked at one another. Those lingering stares of intrigue angered you so much you thought you might go mad. The other girl-Maureen-worked in the same office building as Jack; she carried this hippie, tree-hugging lifestyle around with her. He told you they met in the cafeteria there and began talking. You remembered how you both met: School cafeteria where you started talking. It bothered you. Instead of keeping the distant-acquaintance-relationship or a work relationship, Jack and her befriend one another. She enters the circle of friends. At first you didn’t mind, but you started noticing. He gave her too much attention, which she thrived in. You saw her flirtatious smiles, her trailing fingers going up his arm, and hearing her occasional shameless flirtation. Jack said nothing. He sometimes responded. This propelled you into being in his life more: You made your presence known to this girl by constantly stopping by the office, hardly leaving his side at parties, and kissing him as often as possible. You even started having sex with him more often. Jack thought nothing of your behavior. ‘Babe, I’m gonna be staying at the office a bit later today, alright?’ He told you early that morning. ‘What do you mean later? You stay there until 4am anyways.’ He laughed, ‘I know, but I mean, this time I’ll actually be working on something.’ ‘So, what have you been doing the other times you’ve stayed late?’ ‘Procrastinating as usual.’ Yes, with her. Maureen. ‘I suppose Maureen stays back with you, does she?’ ‘Well, she stops by on her way out of her office. Why?’ ‘Hm, nothing. Just…wondering, is all.’ He sensed the resentment in you. ‘Y/N…do you think Maureen and I have something going?’ ‘I may have a suspicion or two.’ Jack began laughing, ‘Oh baby. I would never even…why would you think I would? I love you far too much to think about anyone else at this point.’ ‘It’s…You look at her a lot. You don’t look at me like that anymore. She appeals to you because she’s all artsy and creative and pretty. She doesn’t work a silly, stuffy, nine-to-five corporate job, wear suits and have her hair pinned up all the time. She’s spontaneous and fun. I’m….I’m not. I tried being like that, but I can’t.’ ‘Is that why you’ve been acting so funny? You’re trying to be like her?’ ‘No, not like her, just…something you would like.’ Jack wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly. He kissed the top of your head, and then your lips. ‘You’re everything I like. You’re organized, sensible, grounded, and hardworking. Yeah, Maureen’s cool but her head’s like in the clouds most of the time; she’s always going on about animals, the environment and the government, which-don’t get me wrong are all super important-can turn into stale conversation. It’s like, when she realizes that I’m not interested, she starts flirting with me. I told her I have a girlfriend, so she sort of backed off.’ ‘So, you don’t mind me being a crazy workaholic?’ ‘Psh, I’m a crazy workaholic. Why would I mind another one? We can be workaholics together.’ He kissed you softly, nuzzling your nose a bit, and then took off.

Finn: ‘Why the hell did you do that?! I don’t recall Sarah doing anything to you.’ You couldn’t believe him. Leave it to Finn to turn everything on you. He’s the one sleeping with a hapless intern. Why was he taking it out on you? ‘Oh come on, Finn. I’m not stupid! I know what you’ve been doing with her behind my back!’ You walked into the living room, throwing your purse on the bed as you turned to a mirror. You saw the redness forming along your cheek, though thankfully the break in your bottom lip stopped bleeding. You hadn’t meant to hit the girl, though you couldn’t help yourself. She was so sleazy. ‘What are you talking about?!’ ‘You’ve been fucking that little bitch! I know you have! I see you two all the time! Talking and laughing and being a buddy-buddy together! The way she throws herself at you! ‘we should go hang out sometime, Finn’ ‘you’d really like this place Finn!’ ‘Oh, Finn, please leave your girlfriend and be my boyfriend forever and ever!’’ You mocked the intern in a high pitch, girly voice. He watched you go about the living room, your rage fueling your foot steps and hand gestures. ‘She fawns over you like a stupid school girl! It’s like she can’t help herself around you. She reminds me of those silly fan girls of yours that just HAVE to come up to you. They HAVE to have your picture. They HAVE to tell you how AWESOME you fucking are when they don’t know a thing about you! It’s pathetic! I’m sick of it! I’m sick of other girls all over you! I already compete with the rest of the world for your attention, the last thing I’d do is compete for it with an intern!’ He gazed at you. Finn remained silent as he walked towards you. Sadness filled his green eyes, the ones that can comfort you and arouse you with a single glance. He rung his arms around you; he hugged you to his chest and rested his head on your shoulder. You broke down in tears. All the pressure crashed down on you, making your injuries ache and sting a bit more. ‘You don’t have to compete with anyone. You’re the only woman in my life. I’m not seeing Sarah, I’m not seeing any fan girls. There’s nobody but you.’ You kissed him back. ‘I’m sorry. I just…It makes me crazy sometimes.’ ‘I know,’ He smirked, kissing you one more time, ‘Does this mean you’re going to apologize to her?’ ‘Pfft, no.’

Dan: ‘Darling, I’m telling you, there isn’t anyone else. You’re being crazy.’ 'I’m not being crazy, Daniel!’ You only called him Daniel in angry moments. He simply stared at you as you waved around your phone, displaying a picture of some girl kissing his cheek at a party. You’ll admit, you’re going a bit overboard about a cheek kiss, but can he blame you? He’s always gone nowadays. He stays out longer and he hardly calls you. He says it’s work, though you’ve had others ideas for a while. Now, this office party at the radio station, and this random woman kissing his cheek. It sent you raging. You threw things at him, you yelled accusations and insults his way and didn’t stop until even your phone screen cracked. In the end, Dan simply stared at you. 'Yeah, I’m not putting up with this behavior from you. You want to go be a jealous, crazy bitch, be my guest. Call me when you’ve gained your sanity back.’ He walked out of your apartment without a word. Dan always did that. He never liked being confronted with problems. You crashed down onto your sofa, your thoughts racing in your little break. You were crazy. Dan loved you. He’d never dare hurt you in such a fashion. You overreacted. In a few hours, you called Dan. You prayed you hadn’t completely ruined everything with your outburst. 'Hey gorgeous,’ He said. 'Hey…Listen, I wanted to talk to you about today. I’m…I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have bursted out at you like that. You didn’t deserve it, and most of it wasn’t even because of you. I just…I love you so much and I hate the thought of losing you to another person.’ 'Sweetheart, you wouldn’t lose me to anybody. Why the hell would I leave somebody out of my league? There’s no way I’m ever getting a girl like you a second time; I’m not THAT lucky.’ He always made you laugh. 'And, it’s partly my fault for being so distant. I shouldn’t put you in the backseat like that…unless I plan on shagging you in the backseat…’ 'Dan!’ 'What? Just throwing that one out there, as usual.’