(what i could understand without subs)

alien tech

ok I read a lot of the humans are space orcs posts and there is one thing I haven’t seen yet so I'm jumping in with it. and it is this how will humans treat alien tech and the sort of things we would try to do with it.

pt1 (maybe more if wanted)

alien sub commander Zomp: (to alien ship captain) ma’am the new human we picked up as part of the cultural exchange has done something weird and I don't know how to proceed.

alien ship captain Carval: (to alien sub commander) you will need to be more specific what has human Francis done exactly?

sub com Zomp: (cap  Carval) it appears that human Francis has bean tinkering with some of the old tools.

cap  Carval: (sub com Zomp) it is part of the agreement with the humans that they can examine the old tools and tinker with them before they get recycled so they can learn about our technological advances with minimal economic impact 

sub com Zomp: (cap  Carval) I understand that ma’am but what human Francis has made has me concerned. He has taken a photon welder and removed nearly all safety features and adjusted the welding effect to 1567yk (3ft aprox). Without the safety features that could cause serious damage to the ship if miss handled. worse yet he has taken to carrying it with him everywhere.

cap  Carval: (sub com Zomp) have you tried talking to human Francis about this?

sub com Zomp: (cap  Carval)  yes captain human Francis made what the human guide referred to as an amusement indicator called laughter and dubbed the new device he created his “lightsaber”


p2 http://novadust86.tumblr.com/post/164135158767/alien-tech-pt2

My Dreams Were Crushed

Ok so I’m aware that my post is not anonymous but I don’t even use this blog so whatever.Any who I got into kpop early in the summer of 2015,I know such a new kpop child.But anyway my sister got me into the group EXO where my bias is Sehun,overused bias I know.I heard call me baby and was like ‘Oh shit this is way better than Gangnam style(still love Psy oppa though).I instantly began searching and watching and getting more in love with kpop.Once I realized the training they through my respect went up to about 1000%.
I then took it a step further and began learning Korean so my dumbass could understand idols without English subtitles.(i am currently about a level 2 not fluent but understands a lot without the subs.)My friends started to see my interest and continuously bully me about it and make jokes about Korea and stupid crap that pissed me off.Then my one friend comes up to me one day and says ‘You’ll never be an idol.You’ll never perform onstage and you’re not what they’re looking for.Stop being delusional and come back to reality.“Needless to say I cried not even gonna lie because I already knew that I wasn’t the look they were going for and my talents aren’t fantastic-it just hurt to have someone who was supposed to be supportive of me tear me and my dream down in a matter of seconds.
(I am half-black and half-white but I look as if I am half Chinese;my sister has told me 'Dude please be an idol your personality is literally perfect.’)
So I took a look in the mirror one day and said 'Youre gonna prove that douchehead wrong.’ Since then I’ve thrown myself into writing songs,learning more Korean,improving my singing and dancing.
I got extremely motivated when the first black kpop idol happened Alex from Rania!I literally took an article about her and slammed it on doucheheads desk like 'that’s right.’
And now I am here auditioning for Big Hit,Plexus,Starship,and Source and hoping to be a trainee.My name is Sarah and im fifteen years old and my dreams have grown from crushed pieces to a dope ass vase.

I apologize for this scattered depressing post.

You know everyone’s been thanking Mappa for well-written characters, non-sexualised beautifully developed same-sex relationships, nice plot and everything and I’m so SO grateful for it too, but at the same time hardly anyone realizes how heart-warming it is to see russians in foreign media that are represented as real people with UNIQUE personalities and dreams, people who have genuine talent, who are able to cry and laugh and feel true love. We have not been given a typical psychopath Ivan with a tough childhood, who designs nuclear weapons  when he is not busy drinking vOdКА, but we got Viktor, Georgi, Mila, Yurio, Yakov and many others, who might be..AHEM.. eccentric, but they are convincing. And you can empathize with them and feel proud of them for real. The creators of the show did an amazing job, they were respectful. I could actually clearly understand what characters were saying in Russian without subs, majority of words and sentences were written correctly, Saint Petersburg wasn’t buried under 35 feet of snow during Rostelecom cup and everything looked believable. And as a part of lgbtq+  seeing a russian “real life figure skating legend” building a romantic relationship with a man and being supported by others… Just… Everyone in russian community is so hyped. It’s a big step forward and I’m simply really happy to be a part of it, so I’ve decided to write this here for someone to see. Yuri!!!on Ice surely does destroy boundaries.  And I can’t express enough how grateful I am for this show.

It’s the end of the year and I quite literally have too many posts I want to write and not enough brain power to write them. It is super frustrating.

To get cracking on this one - this’s another long one. A little more processing. A few more thoughts.

The thing I wanted to say was that one of the ideas that has been coming up a lot in the last week is that some people feel a drive to submit, or - if we’re picking apart the whole role thing - to get vulnerable with others. And, er, well, yes, obviously. It’s been my experience that ‘submitting’ is part of how some individuals are driven to show love, to feel comfortable in relationships, to encourage others to play with them. I feel like we’re using 'submission’ as a shorthand for something broader and deeper, tbh, and the cognitive dissonance bothers me.

Like, what is labeled 'submission’ is someone saying, “I trust you and want to do things to make you happy,” and I know that’s been said before in the rolequeer space, and I can cite links about wolves and being magic, but that’s what it boils down to. There’s this sort of drive that… uh, to know you can trust someone you show them the bleeding bits of yourself and test how they react to the mess. The greatest intimacy I can offer anyone is to bare my throat, and hand-to-heart I am not talking metaphorically.

The worst part, the worst fucking part, is that somehow as a society we’re labeling all the squishy feelings that follow logically out of trust into one sort of disdained little package, and then saying that the correct response is to try and control it.

I just.

I feel like I fucked up so badly in finding BDSM, in finding this thing that explained everything that was going on except filtered through this warped lens, and then deciding that, of course, yes. Control. That is what is expected of me. Can do. I also (not 'but’, ’also’) feel like I’d never be as aware of anything as I am right now if I hadn’t fucked up in this particular way. I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t been there.I need to pull back a bit, partially for my own sake, but also because I think ya’ll need a bit of background.

A while back, when I was first sort of poking things around, I floated the idea sometimes people on the dom side of things in BDSM get pushed to fill their role even against their inclinations. I come at that because, as a lady-type-person, I’ve had first-hand experience with the whole fetish fuel thing where I’m the object of wank fantasies rather than an actual person. It’s really obnoxious, because not only is being fetish fuel removing what little agency being a dom offered, it is also always about fantasies I didn’t even have. So not only was I no longer a person, I was also being pressured to take up role stuff I would never have even contemplated when left to my own devices. So - when I’m talking about how the scene pushes submissive to fill a role, I come at it from a point of empathy.

On a different level, however, I don’t just understand other people getting straight-up vulnerable with me, in either them wanting to become intimate through vulnerability or in offering BDSM-contextual submission. It’s super fucking baffling and not consciously solicited on my part and I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all, and it leaves me confused and lost and wondering if maybe they’re not the ones who got lost on the way to someone else.

But I do understand the drive, the need that has been cited so often this past week or so. And I do understand the mechanics as well, because usually it’s when the relationship (whatever it may be) has progressed beyond a level of trust that triggered that vulnerability.

The horrible bit is that the sudden (to me) 'submission’ always - before and after I encountered BDSM - meant that the relationship clicked into a power dynamic. So I’d be thrown in to crisis, because how to handle???? sudden inequality???? And when I was younger, I mostly just adopted an attitude of willful ignorance. Now that I’m older, I’ve actually, literally, had to sit people down and explain to them that I don’t get vulnerable at the same speed or in the same ways. That whatever they’re looking for from me is going to take a long time, or never happen, and if that bothers them then they need to make a choice.

BDSM gave me a way to explain it, shorthand. 'I’m a dom’, I’d say and not have to explain why there wasn’t going to be any reciprocal emotional or physical vulnerability. To give a reason for the inequality in the relationship that didn’t rest upon me being somehow deficient in some crucial aspect of humanity. Even though domliness came with it’s own morass of shit to wade through, it gave me a framework for how to respond to something I’d never asked for and had no idea how to handle. 

And just to be clear, I also liked it because there were perks. Like - all of this - *waves hands above and below* - are me working out the wherefores and why playing at being a dom is not something that even makes sense for me, but there are perks to being a dom that are… nice. It’s a privileged class, especially with how domism works, and I like receiving service (even if I also enjoy giving it). Some of the trappings are fun, and some are sexy, and not everything is horrible all the time, but it’s kind of like someone put bitter yuck in my cupcake. There are frosting and sprinkles, but also this sort of horrible taste that only grows the more cupcakes you eat until you start questioning every single choice you make concerning cupcakes in general. I’m at bitter yuck overload and want to warn everyone else away.

It’s just - the whole idea that 'when someone submits, you take charge’ was the whole crux of my identification and that’s fucking terrible. Even so, at the time a lot of things started making more sense, at least in a superficial sort of way, because the fissures between the callous and the vulnerable became more clear. Lines of power became more visible because they were being made explicit.

Conversely, where expectations of power were explicit, expectations of role were implicit, especially for doms, and that implicitness is what allows the role to self-perpetuate, because 'dom’ can be defined as warm and cuddly as necessary to comfort the person wearing it.

Interesting fact, however: for various reasons I am very, very good at lying by omission. It’s this skill, however, that highlighted what a few of those implicit rules were. After all, you can’t know what to avoid if you can’t identify the transgression in the first place.

Here’s a short list of things I’d neglect to mention (or avoiding thinking about) that would make me 'less’ of a dom.

* This one I saw a distressing amount, but the idea that - as a dom - I am flat out not allowed to allow the sub any leeway at all or I’m less of a dom. One instance of a sub 'getting their way’ in contest with a dom and the relationship is over - either through some sort of falling apart or because the agreement was thus broken.

And this was from both sides. From the dom camp (if the sub isn’t going to submit in everything, then they’re not worth it and can fuck right off), but also the subs (if the dom can’t smack down all my disobediences, then they’re not strong enough to handle me. Iron grip or they lose their power over me.) While I understand that’s a very 24/7 broken way of looking at things, there is zero chance in hell you would have ever caught me admitting that I didn’t think I could playact that role 100% of the time. If I couldn’t be 'on’ at the drop of a hat, then what sort of dom was I? One without the intrinsic power necessary, obviously.

* Another thing I couldn’t admit? I like playing support roles, because I like to feel like I’m accomplishing something. Whether it’s in play (mmos) or in occupation (stage manager), I like doing the thing that helps everyone get shit done. It felt traitorous to even consider the statement while I was playacting dom, because what sort of dom LIKES to support someone else’s vision? On a micro scale, having things done for me is delicious, but on a macro scale it’s tedious and frustrating.

* Last thing for now, is that other doms would do the submission thing with me, or at least what I had understood as submission. I’d be offered vulnerability, and I’d offer reassurance back, baffled and touched, and with the distinct feeling that something was clearly fucking wrong with BDSM and doms and subs if being a friend to someone in need twigged me to think 'I am receiving submission’. But now that I look back at things, who the fuck else was someone who called themselves a dom supposed to go to? There are no appropriate channels, because there’s no appropriate emotional outlet. (Similar to how toxic masculinity functions, I think.)

And, well, I know a lot of these are removed from the acting kink upon others’ bodies, because I didn’t get into BDSM for physical kink. There are some types of kink I’ll probably never try that I do find intriguing, but my boyo doesn’t like pain at all and I’m just not interested in pursuing the kind of intimacy I want out of my kinks with anyone else. That means, however, that I got into BDSM for the power dynamics themselves, and that 'teasing out’ basic kink from the d/s is - while awesome - not something that actually helps my brain.

I didn’t ask for my relationships to imbalance over time, and I do what I can to stop it without harming myself and others (something I’ve gotten better at!), but sometimes it means I’m sort of de-facto filling a dom-like role (dammit), or at least a role of greater power via the withhold of vulnerability. It is not fucking easy to be vulnerable with people I want to, let alone deal with people I have no interest in being vulnerable with. Thus, if I’m gonna be the one with the power, I want to fill that role with something that gums up the whole damn works. Something the incorrect shape that is not only deliberately not dominance, but is also blocking out any other exercise of power.

So… there’s that.

Long post above aside, my next few are going to be cheerful (!) rolequeer example posts from my favorite fiction. I’ve been digging through my bookshelves and movie collections and I’ve found a few. The first one I want to post is about a fantasy romance novella that is, er, actually kind of explicitly rolequeer in a lot of ways. 

“fragile narcissists”

I remember the first time I started to question this shit, it was in 2013 and my housemate who used tumblr a lot told me that a lot of people on her feed were angry about ‘truscum’. I was like

'What’s truscum?’

And she was like 'oh they’re like, trans people that everyone hates because they’re bigots or something’ and I thought 'oh that’s weird’. Well later on I looked it up and do you know what? I learned two things:

  1. That truscum people are trans people who have body dysmorphia, consider 'trans-ness’ to be a medical condition, and see transitioning as the only cure. i.e, most of the world’s understanding of what transgenderism is. I read a few truscum pages and they all seemed pretty reasonable and even toned to me.
  2. I also learned that 'truscum’ started as a slur against these people started by another group of trans people who all used pronouns like 'bunself’ and didn’t suffer from dysphoria, and didn’t intend to transition i.e. people who aren’t trans at all. And these people seemed to be in the majority, and have the most support across the site, and the abuse directed at the so called scum was….horrible….. Their main grievances with the scum seemed to be that the scum were 'gatekeeping’ somehow, and that they were 'policing the borders of trans identity’, and that this was making the poor non binary trans want to kill themselves.

So that experience taught me that people can claim to be trans without being trans at all, and also that online trans activism is a scary, weird, dangerous place where people can come out with the most horrible violent rhetoric and not be called out for it. Most of all, it shocked me that all these threats were being issued over stuff like pronouns and esoteric gender identities. I mostly forgot about that whole thing though, and continued to support trans people in a kind of passive for a few years afterwards. I guess I just thought that trans politics on tumblr was a weird, marginal thing that would never have any influence in the real world. Wrong.

I started paying more attention to this whole thing again when I came across 'feminists’ and trans activists using the word 'TERF’ in a pretty familiar way: “they’re just nasty bigots who want to police the borders of who is and isn’t a woman” “they make trans people kill themselves!” and “they should all be killed in some horrible way”.It seemed to be that whatever a TERF was, it occupied the same psychic space for these so called activists as the word truscum seemed to for the genderkin tumblr bigots: a word you could throw any kind of hateful rhetoric at without being called out. I looked up 'TERF’ and found this sub and oh my God… It was like finally drinking a glass of cold water after months out in the desert.

…. I’d spent a lot of time in liberal feminist online spaces and I’d been getting increasingly confused by their ideas about what gender is, and also frustrated with their understandings and deployments of 'intersectionality’ as a means of warding off criticisms. In the end I’d be thinking things like 'do I have a gender, and if so what is it?’ and 'I don’t think gender is that important or clear a concept, but it must be very important because everyone’s going on about it all the damn time’ and then 'how long will it be before I say something that upsets one of these egotistical histrionics and I get banned?’

….(Now) I feel liberated, it’s shocking to me that trans’s poorly thought out, obfuscating gender stupidities have been taking up such a big space in my brain and draining my emotional energies. I’m so glad I won’t have to spend any more of my time wondering about what exactly this mysterious 'gender’ is, and how there can apparently be thousands of different genders that are Very Important to the self obsessed, fragile, narcissists who espouse them.

Thank you.



eurovision songs’ languages: pink: english, Yellow: other language

we need more of “yellow“

I hate to hear the excuse “people won’t understand the meaning of the song“. The good song sounds well to make people understand without knowing the langauge. ALSO we all are living in a modern world, we can use google to search for translations. The eurovision app actually often contains english TRANSLATION for the songs, also the TV show could use SUBS on the TV!! Stop using english, show your language and what you can do with it!!

I’M SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW I’M NOT EVEN JOKING THIS EPISODE WAS TOO MUCH AND YOU KNOW ONE OF THE BEST PARTS? THE MOTHERFUCKING SPANISH TRANSLATION. In spanish we have two ways to say “I love you”: “Te quiero” and “Te amo”, the last one is more powerful, in a relationship level is like a deep love. You use “amas” when someone is so important to you that you can’t live without them, is important, is other level of love. The translator used this word when they translated what Lailah said. They could have used : “¿Lo quieres?”, BUT NO, they used “¿Lo amas?” AND BELIEVE ME, THAT’S BEAUTIFUL.