(well not exclusively)

  • Percy: Grover is my best friend but so are you.
  • Jason: You can't have more than one best friend.
  • Percy: Says who?
  • Jason: Says logic.
  • Percy: Well, I call bull on your logic 'cause you're my best friend, too.
  • Jason: (smiling) Okay.


The absolutely fantastic @dettsu and yours truly are going to be at MatsuCon tomorrow at Ateneo!!! Try to stop by i’ll have stickers postcards and a doodlebook full of all new comics to sell 

Do you ever shut up?

Desc: Richie Tozier is notorious for having the worlds biggest crush on Y/N, Bill’s older sister. The only problem was the fact that Y/N was in an exclusive relationship with Henry Bowers. Push comes to shove rapidly and soon Y/N is kidnapped by the one and only Pennywise, will they get to her in time?

Pairing: Reader/Richie Tozier

Warning: Harsh language, mentions of sex.

Do you ever shut up?

It was no secret that Richie liked Y/N, everyone knew and no one really cared. In all honestly they simply expected it to be puppy love, something he would outgrow once he saw another hot girl wandering around innocently. But, what they didn’t know was that it wasn’t just puppy love to him. It was more like infatuation, a craving, actual love. Unfortunately, Y/N was off limits, as Bill had said numerous times. That, and she didn’t really think Richie’s jokes were very funny either. She actually found them to be rather rude, ignorant even, but she let it slide. He wasn’t hurting anyone, she didn’t think.

She knew well that Henry Bowers, her exclusive boyfriend, wasn’t the best person in the world. He wasn’t a saint, but who was? Y/N knew that everyone deserved a chance to change, a chance to be happy. But, Henry never seemed to change his ways, he was still the school bully who had children cowering when he walked by, and Y/N was known throughout the school as ‘Henry Bowers Girlfriend.’ She was certain they never called her by name.

It was either that, or ‘Stuttering Bill’s sister’ or even perhaps, 'Georgie Denbrough’s sister, the kid who died.’ Really this had grown to make Y/N very uncomfortable. She was her own person, not just Bill and Georgie’s sister, not just Henry Bowers girlfriend.


At this current moment in time, Y/N was saying her goodbyes to the losers’, having to go home and help her mother with dinner and cleaning for a bit (she was certain it was Bill’s turn, but he argued against it.)

“I’ll buh-be home in a fuh-few hours.” Bill said, as Y/N waved them off and left to go home, fixing her hair as she walked.

”She really looks good from the back, and the front.“ Richie stated, adjusting his large glasses on his nose. This remark didn’t go unnoticed, a series of groans and eyerolls took over for the moment before Beverly stepped in to break the silence.

“Beep beep, Richie.” She said rather sternly, leaning back in her seat, she was rather annoyed at the inappropriate comment but definitely not as annoyed as Bill.

“T-that’s my sister, idiot. Duh-don’t talk about her l-like that.“ Bill stated blandly, clearly uncomfortable with the comment himself, and certain that Y/N would ultimately destroy Richie for a comment like that.

”It’s not my fault she’s hot…“ He paused for a moment, as if thinking it over before starting to speak again. ”And kind, and funny, and sweet, and—“ he was cut off by Stan talking over him.

”Dude, do you actually like her?“ Stan spoke, his voice slightly deeper than the other losers’, which they just expected it was because he was a little older than them.

Richie hadn’t noticed the opened-mouthed gazes that were trained to his face and the wide eyes searching for a hint of a lie. But Richie wasn’t lying. He really did think all those things about Y/N, but he knew the Henry would literally kill him for saying any of it.

“Do you ah-actually like my s-sister, Trashmouth?” Bill asked in utter astonishment, causing Richie to sink into his seat in embarrassment and shrug a little.


It had been three or four days since the losers’ realised that Richie wasn’t just chasing Y/N for her looks and since then it had been tense in the group everytime the two were together. Y/N didn’t really understand why everyone was so quiet whilst they were out, walking along the river bank in the mid afternoon sun. Beverly and Y/N had been talking, but it was low, almost like a whisper as they spoke as if the others would be mortified at their conversation.

It didn’t take long before they had ran into Henry and his group, minus Patrick who had been missing for several days. This utterly let to a panic within the losers’ but they seemed to remain calm, all of which were rather frightened besides Y/N.

“Hey Losers’, if you’re trying to get into her pants–” he stopped speaking to point a finger in Beverly’s direction, Y/N falling unnoticed, “All you have to do is ask nicely like I did.” He spoke with a wicked grin on his face, like something straight out of a thriller movie.

It was clear that the remark hit Beverly hard, but it hit Y/N equally as hard when she realised what he had said. In a fit of rage, Y/N picked up the biggest rock she could find and flung it as hard as she could. Her throw coming out rather well, hitting Henry on the forehead with enough force to draw blood.

“What the fuck!?” Henrys voice sounded from across the new-found battlefield as he chucked another rock back at her but failed to hit her or do any serious damage to anyone else.

”Rock War!“ sounded out from the losers’ side of the river as sudden airborne rocks were flying back and forth.

Even in this instance, Y/N felt like she was having the time of her life. She didn’t really care that after this her and Henry would be over for good, in fact she was incredibly happy about that. A smile spread over her face, even when a rock hit her painfully in the side. She had no idea how her and Bill would explain the deep purple bruises to their parents later, but she didn’t care anymore. This felt like a new beginning to her, she felt more welcome with the losers’ than she ever had with Henrys obnoxious clique.

She felt alive!

Once the final rocks were thrown, Henrys gang started to back up a bit, having suffered the most.

“Yeah! That’s right! Fuck off and go back to blowing your dad!“ Richie shouted from their spot a few meters away. There was a silence for a moment.

“And stay away from my girl!” He finished with, and Y/N didn’t care a single bit.


The bruises took several days to heal, turning from purple to a bluish shade, to a deep red and vanishing entirely. Y/N and Bill had been interrogated by their parents once they got home, but they simply smiled at each other and answered with blatant lies. Once their parents had bought it, the siblings it would be best to stay inside till the bruises healed once and for all.

Y/N sat by the window, the rain pattering against the glass in an almost rhythmic pattern. Her fingers followed the small drops as they raced down the glass, and she rested her head against the cool window. Looking out into the street she was almost certain she had seen a flash of yellow and red running by, and when she looked again she found herself staring at a small newspaper boat, with ’S.S Georgie’ scrawled messily along the side. Tied to it floated a red balloon which carried it with ease down the street as a little boy ran after it in a yellow slicker and red galoshes.

Y/N couldn’t believe her eyes, a sense of delight washing over her as she pulled on her fushia coloured rain coat and ran outside, slamming the door behind herself and chased the small boy down the street, calling out 'Georgie? Georgie!’ every time she got the chance. Deep down, a small part of her understood that Georgie wasn’t actually coming home, that he was almost definitely killed. But, she couldn’t help with hope and pray to God that this was Georgie by some convenience.

She ran after the child with every inch of energy in her body but he always seemed just out of reach, that was until she rounded the corner and came face to face with something she dreaded the most. A clown. A clown with a twisted grin on his makeup clad face. She suppressed a scream, her hand to her mouth and her teeth digging into the side of her pale skin. She noticed the one-armed boy standing behind the clown with his boat in his hands and recognised him as her brother. And then everything went black.


She awoke soon after, still face to face with the God-awful clown that she hated ever so much, yet this time there was no Georgie and this didn’t seem like the upper ground of Derry anymore. In fact, it seemed more like the sewers, and her suspicion didn’t go astray. She was shaking, her hands and knees trembling and her bottom lip quivering as if holding back tears, but she slapped on a confident expression.

“Why are you doing this?” She cried out at last, only to be met with a bizarre smile and a finger pressed to the clowns lips. She stopped speaking just long enough to hear the thudding of someone walking along the sewer pipes, then it came to sound like a group of people.

Y/N wanted to cry, she wanted to scream and tell them to go back and leave her here. To save themselves from their independent doom, but she couldn’t. She simply found herself in an utter trance, staring into the clowns eyes, that was until the losers’ burst into the sewer baring what seemed to be weapons of some sort or another.

“Fucking clowns..” Richie spoke through gritted teeth before they each took their fair share of clown beating till the monster clawed its way away from them, leaving Y/N dazed and confused before spotting the rather bloody, bruised, and ridiculous looking group of teenagers.

Y/N had never been so pleased, she ran forward and incased Bill in the worlds tightest hug, muttering apologies and thank you’s for what seemed like forever.

“Hey! I was the one who figured out where you were and what had happened.” Richie fummed unhappily, rather jealous that he didn’t receive the same attention as her brother did.

“Well then thank you too, Trashmouth.” Y/N laughed as she pulled him into an equally tight hug, an endless smile on her face.

“Really it was nothing, could have…would have done it anyday for you Y/N, It wasn’t that big a deal I mean anyone could have done it–” Richie proceeded to boast, gaining a playful eyeroll from Y/N.

“Beep beep Richie.” She stated simply, gaining a strange look from Richie before she pressed her lips to his, and for a moment Richie could have sworn his heart completely stopped.

Once she had pulled away, both were red faced and flustered, though Richie was so close to passing out it was almost unreal. He simply couldn’t say another word besides 'Awesome!’, and honestly Y/N was sure everyone else in the room groaned in annoyance at the sudden display of affection.

Y/N couldn’t have been happier.

{For the lovely Anon who sent me four different asks with so much detail, I absolutely loved writing this!

I hope this is good enough for you! Please keep in mind I haven’t proof read it so there may be some grammar or spelling mistakes throughout, I’m so very sorry. Also, I’m not sure how long it is, so I apologise if it’s too short!}


Worlds 2017

Post FD hug <3

when one becomes an apprentice one gets used to the way things are around the office rather quickly

keith: yo hunk, whatcha doing?

hunk: oh hey keith, i’m just making the three of us a mixtape

keith: cool. what bands are you using?

hunk: well, like. it’s exclusively cascada.

keith: … okay. (leans over his shoulder) what songs are you using?

hunk: well for us, i think we’re totally ‘bad boy.’ you’re the bad boy, if you didn’t get that. and then you and lance are ‘everytime we touch’, because those vines were so good, and also it just fits you guys. and then lance and i are ‘miracle’, because i am in fact a miracle. and finally, for the three of us, i’m thinking we’re like ‘evacuate the dance floor’, because when we enter the club, everyone makes a path for us. you know? what do you think?

keith: i mean like, i’m not disagreeing with your reasoning here, but i’m pretty sure ‘bad boy’ is about a one night stand, and in ‘miracle’ i think she’s asking for her cheating boyfriend to come back to her, which isn’t like. our relationships. at all.

hunk: i know, but the beats are funky keith. sometimes you gotta just… ignore all the deeper meaning, and focus on your groove, y’know? let cascada… cascade… through your heart.

OHHHHH Anthem looks incredible!! all I can think about is DA4 with that quality I am vibrating I didn’t know Bioware could do that, I was expecting DAI graphics for a sequel with maybe some minor improvements but this is just so amazing!! I am filled with hope now skdjhakshd excited

Kodansha USA’s finally released the artwork for their new Akira 35th Anniversary manga box set! This set will include the entire Akira series in hardcover, and in the original Japanese right-to-left format for the first time ever! It will also include the Akira Club artbook as well as am exclusive patch with the iconic “pill” design. Pre-orders for the set are currently $65 off on Amazon, so now’s a great time to hop on that deal! The set will be released October 24, 2017.

PR relationship vs Private...

I’ve stumbled across a few fandoms in my time; real life ships vs on screen. Many who expose themselves pretty early on as being nothing but pushing a person(s) career along, networking a show, promotion of a movie or movie franchise and so on. It’s usually pretty easy to point them out; getting faces out there, carefully planned shopping trips or eating out in places ‘all of Hollywood’ go to eat. A stroll down a street that is ear marked by paps as the street a certain someone or someone’s will be walking; my PR calls your PR agency to arrange a time and a place.

I could list the amount of 'PR’ couples who have and still do just that, but I’m not writing this to name names and point fingers. I’m merely putting across that this did, does and still happens in the show business industry. And those who are new to following shows or movies with fandoms attached, better train your BS skills in to what is 'fact’ over what is 'fiction.’ A real couple (as in one who have got together privately off screen, regardless of time, work ethic or closeness) know the dangers involved in getting together; media attention, scrutiny from other cast, fan scrutiny and public appraisal or disappointment. Outside of work is very limited to where you can go without being seen, particularly if you don’t want anyone to know about you. It’s too easy to get trapped into that kind of pressure, actors are after all still human and stress over the same things you and I do. Except their lives are like living in a goldfish bowl, swimming around aimlessly while the outside world judges them and boy! Do we judge.

So…it’s not uncommon for a 'private’ relationship to remain private for the time being. If you are 'like most shows/movies’ a couple who are linked romantically in the storyline; your face and acting are the main base for promoting, it becomes even more stressful, when forced to understand that a movie or shows success rides heavily on your 'believable’ chemistry with your lead. When it becomes 'too’ believable, well that’s when tongues wag and if tongues wag it can mean failure to not only the show/movie, but also the financial investment (studio, media advertisement, merchandising, futures tie ins etc) as an actor you are known as the cash cow; marketing earns money of your back. A show that may have the prospect of longevity, does not want to damage itself, bolting before it’s been released from the stocks. Nor does the movie want to cripple itself financially, before it’s even released to the public. So yes, a 'private’ relationship between two actors can cause a huge headache for both investors, studios and networks trying to push an investment and again I will stress TV shows or movies are financial investments as are the actors, whose faces 'market’ that investment.

You’re only as good as your last performance.
Many believe that you have a choice, fans seem to think you can March right into the board of directors, demand they allow you to live your life, that they cannot tell you want to do with your private life as it belongs to you - wrong, so very wrong. Everything about an actor belongs to a studio. Your public life is a performance, your private life should never be seen. You are a piece of clothing, to be promoted, advertised, displayed and sold to the highest bidder…as long as your agent and manager get as much money as you are worth out of it, of course.
This is unfortunately the black and white, you need to earn money, they need to earn money, the studio or network of studios need money and financial investors need the money they put into the project they invested heavily in, in order to create a profit and success. Romantising in a different light does not work, simply because it’s not reality. Your 'private’ relationship is the difference between success and failure. Off screen romances are a huge no no, your agent, manager, studio want nothing more than it to remain hidden from the public. Studio bosses will be sweating with clauses you many have broken, NDAs are scrutinised and checked to make sure no leaking to the media happens…it’s a financial noose around a studios neck, particularly a very young TV show or the beginning of a movie franchise with the hope of more movies to come.

So…this is why a couple, who no fault of their own, but human nature, fall in love on set, off set - in the privacy of their own private bubble…find themselves in a situation were they cannot disclose what really is going on. Instead play the dumb 'we are best friends, best buddies, supportive and deeply fond of each other’ card. Except body language tells a different story.

The wonderful world of a 'PR’ relationship.
A relationship with nothing to hide. Happy to walk arm and arm down a busy street, go shopping together, get seen at wineries or dinner in an exclusive well known restaurant. Go to public events together or are simply seen as nothing short of 'fake Ken and Barbie’ it’s all to do with image, with promotion and little to do with personality. A good PR agent will see the opportunity of promoting careers, help image, get work. It’s all to do with networking a story, get the media chatting, all along its just a performance. Friends yes, they would need to have some kind of razor or slight chemistry to pull it off. Although there have been a few awkward ones in the passed where neither looked entirely happy to be with each other and yet were supposedly selling a sizzling romance? You also get others behind it; work colleagues, people with clout in the industry, well known faces or names to support this 'showmance’ and yes it has been done in the past, to act as someone’s 'beard’ (ie to cover up the truth) mainly due to the actors sexual orientation or (despise the use of the word gay) relationship with another… they are easier to spot, its always promoted in such a way to get it out there, it doesn’t gradually appear, it just gets put into the public eye in a way that just screams 'too much’

Don’t believe me? How many recent romances, indeed horribly ended marriages have happened due to PR? How many look at a recent paparazzi saturation of a couple, who just looks 'too convenient, too set up, short lived’ to not want you to roll your eyes so far to the back of your head? I can name a few famous singers, whose agency promotes that kind of romance; when an album or single is about to drop, or the eye candy at the time has a movie needing a lot of promotion? As I said PR romances or showmances happen all the time. Self serving for a period of time and then it’s time to move on. No self respecting actor wants their private life splashed across the media. Have fan sites dedicated to pap photos taken of them when they don’t want to been seen. Get hounded by endless questions by parasites (photographers freelance) at airports, calling your name, insulting the person you are linked with by nasty comments to get a reaction from you. That unfortunately is what happens when your 'private’ life is 'out there’ but a PR relationship they are humorous with. They, like other keen sighted people know it’s just for show, so don’t really make much of a fuss over it. It’s titillation, because they (media) know it won’t last for long…they never do.

So before you join a fandom of a movie or TV show, think long and hard of what you are about to get yourself into. There will be tears, there will be tantrums. And unless the object or objects of your desire are already married to each other or another person, then the likely interest will be purely on the cannon story arc and not off screen romances. But then again, frenzied fans see that as a challenge to ship the couple regardless and hate on their real life husband or wife, but that’s going down an even more darker path of fantasy. Or as it has happened in the past, marriages are tested when working very close with your co star, and unfortunately end. Sad but true - that’s just life…I suppose.

The Loutten Conspiracy.

You’ve all heard about HarrDuck, but have you taken the time to consider Loutten, AKA Louis the Kitten? This conspiracy might just be one of, if not, the most plausible conspiracy we’ve ever covered on this blog. Let’s get into it.

Most widely popularized by James Corden of the Late Late show (seen above), the conspiracy that Louis Tomlinson is in fact a kitten began when James himself requested a member of One Direction to stand in as his Bond Villain cat. Who would he happen to chose? Without any hesitation? None other than Louis William Tomlinson. While this was a shock to some people, to see him so effortlessly “impersonate” a feline, this conspiracy actually has quite the background of substantial evidence, each piece of proof getting more and more convincing as we move along…

Proof #1: The scrunchy face

Quite the resemblance for someone just “squinting”

The comparison between Louis Tomlinson in his natural state of joyful detestation and that of a cat in a similar state are eerily similar, right down to the whiskers. Does this mean that Louis has been a feline all along?

Proof #2: Sweaterpaws

Sweaterpaws. PAWS. P A W S.

While many a human can control themselves when presented or robed in a baggy/oversized garment, it would appear that one Louis Tomlinson could not do the same. Is it because he’s youthful at heart? Or, more plausibly, because kittens love to paw at floppy fabrics/strings/knits/anything that dangles? 

Here’s where things get really real for this conspiracy…

Proof #3: Exclusive candid photo of HarrDuck and Loutten sharing a smooch

Compared to a photoshopped picture of what “human” Louis and Harry would look like kissing, the resemblance? Uncanny.

This is one of the more startling pieces of evidence in favour of Loutten and HarrDuck. The fact that this piece of proof reflects consistency in both conspiracies is what truly makes this piece of evidence feel more meaningful and important. Still not convinced? Well…

Proof #4: Exclusive footage of other members of One Direction holding “unknown” kittens while Louis remains out of frame or “absent”

Both Tabby cats…blue collars…seems…odd.

Sure, we can look at these pieces of evidence as mere oversights, maybe those are other kittens, they can’t possibly be Louis how absurd! …Or is it? In the first picture, Zayn Malik is pictured with an unidentified kitten. As we know, Louis and Zayn used to be particularly close (we’ve all seen the “joint lit, happy days” leaked footage) so it wouldn’t be out of character for them to have been hanging out outside of work-related obligations. “Human” Louis has no alibi to explain his whereabouts at the time of the picture, which only further pushes the idea that Louis is that kitten.

The second piece with band member Liam Payne seems to come with an alibi, Louis was also on stage at this point (just out of frame of this gif) however because Jimmy Kimmel is pre-recorded who knows what kind of editing techniques could’ve been used here. The fact that there’s exclusive cutting and quick camera work when we get a full picture of all the boys leads us here at 1Dunsolved to believe the “porno background” Harry spoke of was more than likely a green screen to allow a projection of “human” Louis while kitten Louis was cradled in a teacup.

This brings us to our most relevant and shocking piece of evidence. If you weren’t convinced yet, this HAS to do the trick…!

Proof #5: Even Google believes Louis is a kitten

In this case, 2+2=4

So what is the truth? Will we ever know? If this is true, what does this mean for Louis’ future solo career? With 2/4 members potentially existing as human/animal hybrids of sorts, what does the future look like for One Direction? However much evidence we think we have, there is no confirmation of this theory by Louis or his reps. We tried calling multiple times and they blocked our number… Awkward.

Therefore, this mystery of “The Loutten” remains


-The First Ghost

Digimon Adventure: The Real World - exhibit details & merchandise!

The “Digimon Adventure: The Real World” website has been updated with more details about the exhibit as well as new exclusive merchandise!

The exhibit will be laid out as in the illustrations above:
Area 0 - Entrance Corner
Area 1 - Kuwagamon Corner
Area 2 - Etemon, Jyureimon Corner
Area 3 - Pinochimon Corner
Area 4 - Gennai’s Exhibition Corner
Area 5 - Vamdemon’s Castle Corner
Area 6 - Last Story Train Photo Spot Corner

There are exclusive original goods for those who buy or order tickets:

A Commemorative Visit Medal (left) & a Commemorative Visit Wristband (Right)

Original digital monster artwork, animation references and merchandise from the Digimon series, including the original virtual pets, will be on display. A giant Digivice and a replica of the train will be present at the exhibit as well.

Here is the merchandise that will be at the event; it is noted that although the event store does not require admission, if it gets too crowded there may be restricted or limited access prioritizing event attendees. Additionally, random/blind merchandise is limited to 8 or 10 per person per set (depending on the set of merchandise you are buying).

Gold BIG Can Badge
Set of 10 - Blind Packaged LIMITED 10 PER PERSON
Price: 500 yen + tax each

Acrylic Key Holder
Set of 8
Price: 800 yen + tax each

Clear File
Size: A4
Price: 350 yen + tax

Masking Tape
Set of 8
Size: 1.5cm/0.6" wide, 38.1cm/15" long
Price: 500 yen + tax each

Acrylic Magnet
Set of 8 - Blind Packaged LIMITED 8 PER PERSON
Price: 400 yen + tax each

4 Set PataPata Memo
Price: 700 yen + tax

Clear Bottle
Size: Holds 500ml
Set of 8
Price: 1,500 yen + tax each

Mug Cup
Set of 2
Price: 1,200 yen + tax each

Book-Type Smartphone Case
Set of 2
Size: Supports phones sized up tp 14.2cm/5.6" tall × 7.1cm/2.8" wide
Price: 2,980 yen + tax each

Commemorative Plate
Size: Diameter of 17.2cm/6.75"
Price: 2,000 yen + tax

Set of 30 - Unknown if blind packaged or individual sale
Price: 150 yen + tax each

Clear Bromide
Set of 8
Size: 10cm/4" wide × 14.8cm/5.8" tall
Price: 250 yen + tax each

Set of 2
Sizes: Medium or Large (Unisex)

Business Card Case
Price: 10,000 yen

Name Scene Strap
Set of 4
Price: 900 yen + tax each

Die Cut Sticker
Set of 8
Price: 350 yen + tax each

Original Cap
Price: 2,600 yen + tax

Crystal Paper Weight
Price: 6,000 yen + tax

Dodeka Can Badge 4th Set
Set of 8 - Blind Packaged LIMITED 10 PER PERSON
Price: 500 yen + tax each

Acrylic Stand
Set of 8 - Blind Packaged (Gacha)
Price: 500 yen + tax

Pair Charm Key Holder
Set of 8
Price: 1,200 yen + tax each
Canvas Art
Price: 3,000 yen + tax

Any customer that spends 3,000 yen before tax will receive an event key visual postcard.

For a limited time, all visitors will receive Digimon Linkz special stickers:

anonymous asked:

the baby ian chapters are aboslutely killing me with love. Sounds as are there no complications with mother or baby? Can't wait to see them all at home! love the blog thank you all

Flood my Mornings: Beeyin On Board

Notes from Mod Bonnie

  • This story takes place in an AU in which Jamie travels through the stones two years after Culloden and finds Claire and his child in 1950 Boston.
  • Previous installment:  Ian (V), (All four FMM Frasers together for the first time) 

July 26th, 1951

“You know….you can drive faster, darling. I won’t mind one bit.”

Jamie flashed me a brief, dazzling grin before doing absolutely nothing about it save returning his attention to the road. 

“Not only would I not mind….” I went on, clearing my throat dramatically, “….I might insist that you go faster than—” I peered at the gauge. “Good Lord, Jamie, TEN miles per hour??” 

“Oh, but ‘tis a grand speed,” Jamie said brightly, moving through the next turn with all the haste of a particularly unambitious glacier. “Dinna fash yourself, Sassenach, I’ll do.” 

“Well, I might not,” I spluttered, shifting Ian more comfortably in my arms. “At this rate, it’ll be three hours before we get home, and by that time, I’ll have pissed all over the seat!”

“Piss to your heart’s content, my lady,” he said with a courtly flourish of the hand, and damn me, if he wasn’t completely serious. “I’d rather that kind of accident than the other.”

Despite the demands of my bladder, I laughed, and Jamie did too. “I’ll get faster wi’ time, I promise,” he offered of his own accord, looking a little sheepish even as he exerted enormous concentration upon the line of cars before us. “Only, it’s the first time driving wi’ the lad aboard wi’ us and—well—I wish to be cautious, is all.”

“I know, sweetheart.” I laid a hand gently on his leg, squeezing gently and smiling. It was nearing dusk, a treacherous time of day for motorists in any circumstances, so his caution was well-placed.  "No matter how long it takes, I’m only glad we’re going home.” 

He exhaled with a smile. “Aye, at last.”

Honestly, we had had an easy go of it, all things considered. When Bree was born, she and I had stayed in the hospital for a full two weeks. One was customary, as far as American postpartum care was concerned; the second had been deemed wise by Dr. Reynolds in light of my cesarian incision and Bree’s time in the NICU. I had been more than happy to comply, if it ensured she was safe and well. 

With Ian, though—the both of us progressing well, with no complications whatsoever—I had been positively ITCHING to get out of the bloody hospital, and Reynolds, bless him, allowed it after only four days of observed convalescence. “I’ve broken all the customary policies and procedures for the Frasers,” he said with a smile as he initialed and signed the discharge forms, “why not complete the set?”

It was true, too. From Jamie’s presence both during the birth and near-constantly afterward, to my refusal of sedation, to my insistence upon breastfeeding both at once and exclusively, we had caused quite a stir in the normally rigid parameters of the modern maternity ward. God bloody Bless Dr. Reynolds: a man ahead of his time, if ever I met one (and I had, at that). 

Jamie had split those four days between the hospital and being home with Bree. Beyond the promised respite from the stresses of the hospital, the greater part of the relief of going home was that we would all be together under the same roof; the four of us, starting to figure out the rhythms of this new life.

“How’s he managing?” Jamie asked as we turned (see: ‘crept’) onto the street leading into our neighborhood. 

Wonderfully.” I lifted Ian up closer to my face and kissed that sweet, brown forelock. “Dreaming away.” 

“Good,” Jamie said, his voice warm with a smile as he chanced a few glances at our tiniest passenger.  “It perhaps bodes well, that he sleeps so sound and so often, aye?” 

“Let’s hope so…..What say you, Ian?” I asked of our son (had my talk-to-infants voice always been two octaves higher, I wondered?). “Does this mean you’re going to be kind and let Da and Mummy get their sleep?”

Ian grunted and slowly covered his face with both hands as if to say, Jesus H. Christ, you lot, hush and leave me to it.

Best get used to noise, little winky,” I murmured, leaning my head against his and closing my eyes in contentment. “Your family is quite the lively bunch.” 

“YOU’RE HOMMMMMME!!!!!!!!!!”

“Home, indeed!” 

Jamie set down the bags, closed the door behind us, and caught a pajama-ed Bree up into his arms.  

“Home AND gonna STAY home, aye?” 

“Aye,” Jamie and I promised in unison as Penelope came in to hug and kiss and fawn and be embraced heartily in return. 

Bree leaned over at a ridiculous angle, trying to peer down from Jamie’s arms into mine. “Hi-Beeyin!” she squealed. 

Grinning, I scooped up Ian’s hand onto my finger and mimed a little waving motion. “Say, ‘Hi, Bree!’” 

Brianna giggled insanely, then demanded excitedly of her brother, “Come see the house? Wanna come see it??” 

“Oh, of course he does. Why don’t you show him around?” I said softly, hoping she would take the hint and lower her volume. 

“THIS ONE—” our daughter bellowed, grandly gesturing to the living room as we ambled into it, “—IS—Um—uhhhh….” She furrowed her brows, then leaned close to Jamie’s ear and whispered loudly, “What’s-this-room name’s is, Da?” 

“Sitting room,” he whispered back, lips twitching. 

“SIT-IN ROOM!” she declared triumphantly to the baby without missing a beat. “We sit on’na chairs and play and stuff! An’ Mummy draws on books at’the desk!”  

And in such a fashion, the tour progressed, with Bree giving scattered commentary on each room in the house. As for her brother…Well, Ian’s appreciation of this exclusive inside-look for his benefit amounted to the occasional doleful blink and—as Bree was extolling the virtues of the back garden— an urgent grunting that presaged a nappy-change would be needed very soon indeed. 

After we had bade goodnight to Mrs. Byrd, Ian and I retreated to the bedroom, where I laid him on his back while I got changed into my nightclothes. LORD, did it feel wonderful to be in cotton that didn’t smell of the hospital.

He was wide-awake as I changed him, making little snuffling sounds and starting to look around at his surroundings with more precise intention.  I crooned love and nonsense to him as I worked, praising his efforts and making ridiculous faces in response to his. 

From across the house, I could hear the sounds of Jamie (Bree in tow) locking down the house for the night, the ritual concluding with a familiar, weighty, “Bedtime now, a leannan.”

For once, Bree didn’t immediately respond with bargains and pleas. Rather, I heard a gasp of delight and the pattering sounds of bare feet dancing and jumping in anticipation. “Essighted for Beeyin’s can sleep in MY room!?”

A suppressed laugh, then a slight groan as Jamie bent or squatted down. “Cub, we’ve been over this many a time already, aye? Ian’s got his wee crib in Mummy and Da’s room, and that’s where he’ll sleep.”

“But—Da!—Listen, m’okay?—He likes it better, my room!”

“Is that so?”

“Uh-huh! He saw it an’ he liked it!” 

I snorted a laugh as I finished pinning the nappy. “Your sister is going to speak for you *quite* a lot over the years, sweetheart. I can guarantee it.” 

“Be that as it may, Bree,” came Jamie’s stern rumble from the hall, “he’s too small, aye? When he’s old enough, he’ll most certainly share your room, but he needs to stay close to your Mummy for now, so that when he wakes in the night, he can—”

Even from the next room, I could hear the sniffing and grumbling, the spluttered syllables that meant a tantrum was coming on in force. Shifting Ian up onto my shoulder, I swept into the hall to save the day. “Would you like Ian to sit with you while you have your story, pumpkin?”

And just like that, she was cheering in triumph. 

Bree picked The Poky Little Puppy as that night’s story, and Ian, bless him, stayed awake for nearly the entire recitation. He lay on his back in the middle of Bree’s bed, blinking up at the ceiling and making a whole array of precious, soft squeaking sounds, much to the delight of his sister.  She lay on her belly near his head, chin propped on her elbows, watching his every wiggle in blissful absorption. Jamie’s voice was soothing and warm as he read, his hand just as comforting in mine as we perched on the edge of the bed, watching our little ones watching one another. 

As the ever-vague moral conclusion of the story was about to sound forth, though, Ian began to cry. Well, no, it could be called ‘crying’ only for the first second; after that, the tiny little body was emitting screams loud and piercing enough to wake the dead. 

“Oh, darling….” I leaned forward and touched his cheek with a fingertip, not surprised to see him root at once, seeking a nipple. “No need to cry, my love,” I murmured. “We’ll get you sorted, Ian, don’t worry.” 

Bree had bolted to her knees at once at the sound and was staring down wide-eyed at the squalling, red thing that had been her brother a moment ago. “Wha—What’ssa matter wi’ him?” she demanded. 

“He’s just telling us that he’s hungry,” I explained, preparing to lift Ian up and take him in the other room.

Before I could manage it, though, Jamie abruptly pulled on our still-joined hands and was helping me up off the bed. 

Jamie?” I hissed as I tried to get my feet under me, “—what in the—?” 

Verra sweet dreams to ye, cub,” Jamie said significantly to Bree. “We’ll see ye in the morning, aye?” 

“Wh—” Her head snapped up in alarm. “Where you goin’??” 

“Ye wanted have your brother stay in your room….” We were at the doorway, Jamie’s hand poised over the lightswitch and his brows raised. “….did ye no’?” 

“Ummmmm….Well….” Bree looked absolutely, hilariously helpless as she blinked between us the baby, who was playing his vociferous role to perfection. Jamie’s arm was around my waist, and I could feel his belly shaking with laughter. 

Brianna Fraser did her very best to save face as she fixed her gaze upon Ian and said casually, “He can…maybe sleep wi’ you an’ Mum an’ Da ‘til, ummmm he’s….” Her eyes flicked up to us. “….um-til he stops bein’ hungry?”

Jamie grinned, I giggled, and we both came forward at once to shower her with a thousand kisses each. “That sounds a grand plan, a leannan.” 


Radiohead have teamed up with composer Hans Zimmer to work on the soundtrack to the BBC’s forthcoming natural history series, Blue Planet II.

Inspired by the sounds of the sea, the band have recorded an orchestral version of the song Bloom, from their 2011 album The King Of Limbs.

Called (ocean) bloom, the piece will be featured in a five-minute prequel, released on 27 September.

It features new vocals from Thom Yorke alongside the BBC Concert Orchestra.

“Bloom was inspired by the original Blue Planet series so it’s great to be able to come full circle with the song and reimagine it for this incredible landmark’s sequel,” said Yorke in a press release.

“Hans is a prodigious composer who effortlessly straddles several musical genres so it was liberating for us all to work with such a talent and see how he wove the sound of the series and Bloom together.”

The prequel - which will be released globally - features “some of the most awe-inspiring shots and highlights from the new series,” said the BBC, as well as exclusive scenes that will not feature in any the televised episodes.

Sir David Attenborough returns to narrate the prequel as well as the series, which was filmed over four years.

The BBC says it will include footage of newly discovered and never-before filmed creatures.

Among them is a new species of crab with a hairy chest - nicknamed the “Hoff crab" after Baywatch star David Hasselhoff.

The documentary’s executive producer, James Honeyborne, said Radiohead’s new song was “an incredibly powerful companion to the scenes we’ve spent years capturing.”