(this is shitty but i'm bored)

  • Leo: Are you mad at me?
  • Piper, Jason, Hazel, Frank, Percy and Annabeth: No
  • Leo, internally: I can’t believe they’re fucking mad at me
3

So were re-watching the LotR trilogy (again) & I noticed Legolas recycling bits of his dad’s old quotes.

Well obviously, I know Return of the King was released first. But it’s interesting that they’d have Thrandy use the same phrase to describe the threat of Mordor in DoS. It makes it look like Leggy is echoing his father’s words when you re-watch RotK.

Jungkook: Hyungs, listen. I have a great joke.

BTS: What ?

Jungkook: Jibooty

Bts:

Bts: I don’t get it

Jungkook: Exactly so go away from my baby hun.

The Valkyrie

  • Shitty: What's wrong?
  • Lardo: Nothing, it's just adults are boring, and I hate them. And I don't want to buy all this stupid, boring, adult stuff and become boring adults.
  • Shitty: Hey, listen to me. Yes, we're gonna get a dish rack and shower curtains and a cutting board. But if you think for one second I'm not also gonna get that marshmallow shooter, so that I can shoot you in the face with marshmallows when you're asleep, then you're the dumbest man I know.
  • Lardo: You're gonna make me cry.
Shine Bright Like a Daichi

So @haikyuu-is-madness always says nice shit about my writing and so I figured I’d give back and write a quick little som-som as a thanks. I asked for a word or phrase and was told “pressure creates diamonds” so this is what I came up with. It actually comes from a fic idea I had a little while back that I’m not sure I’ll ever get around to writing so here ya go.

Thanks for all your support and love, Babe.

(P.S. it’s really super fast and was just thrown together so it’s not that good but uhm uh yeah….. I hope you like it anyway.)


Daichi was under pressure.

His grandmother always said that pressure creates diamonds.

She didn’t say that it would take one to three billion years for it to happen though.

And given how far criminals went in this day and age to acquire the damned things, Daichi wasn’t so sure he even wanted to become one, unbreakable and beautiful as they may be.

No.

Beating up the bastards that stole the priceless gems was good enough for him.

“Two meters tall, a hundred and eight kilograms… the man is practically a giant,” Daichi said into his phone as he flipped through the pages inside the folder on his lap, where it rested against the steering wheel of his 2011 Toyota Prius. He leaned back in his seat, propping one elbow up on the door and resting his temple against his closed fist.

“There’s no way I can take him on by myself.”

Hey don’t sweat it,” the voice on the other line said. “I’m sure you can handle it.”

“Me?” Daichi snorted. “Me, eighty-six kilograms, wrong side of one ninety centimeters, me? You’re joking, right?”

C’mon, you didn’t graduate at the top of your class on your test scores alone.”

“I sucked a lot of dick to get to the top.”

Your self-deprecation only makes me love you more.”

“Anyway,” Daichi peered through his windshield at the apartment complex across the dim and silent street. “Even if I do manage to get the cuffs on him without any trouble, where the hell am I going to put him? I don’t think a man of that size will fit in my backseat.”

Just sit on him until back-up arrives.”

“It’d be like a toddler sitting on her dad’s shoulders. I’d rather let him snap my neck in resistance than suffer that humiliation.”

Well then there you go. Problem solved.”

“You’re as useless as ever, Tooru.”

Anything for you, Sawa-chan!”

Daichi sighed, “Alright well… I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

Good luck. Don’t get your skull crushed in his big meaty hands.

“I feel so much better now, thank you.”

You’re welcome!

Daichi ended the call and shoved the phone into his pocket. He had been posted outside of the apartment building for hours and there hadn’t been so much as a peep. He was beginning to think that maybe his cover had been blown and his perp had skipped town without his knowing. But how could that be possible? He had been so careful. There was no way that a mere diamond thief could have outsmarted Daichi.

He hadn’t graduated at the top of his class on test scores alone, after all.

He hadn’t even sucked any dick, either.

He closed the file folder- a cheap plastic one decorated with kittens cuddling in a wicker basket that he had picked up at the store on the way to his stake-out to disguise the important documents inside- and tossed it to the passenger seat.

He rubbed his eyes and yawned. That morning he had opted out of drinking his usual coffee in order to limit the number of times he would have to abandon his position in order to visit the bathroom, and he was starting to feel the effects of his lack of caffeine. A dull ache pulsed through his head and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Just a few more hours, Daichi,” he whispered. “Make it through just a few more hours and you can go home and sleep.”

He settled back in his seat and stared through the windshield, already sick of the sight of the ugly, rectangular, brick apartment building. Why would a diamond thief live in such a shithole anyway? With the kind of heists he had been pulling, he should be living in some kind of uptown penthouse or a mansion on the beach. Not a place that looked like it had failed its past thirteen inspections and may or may not be infested with rats and/or cockroaches.

Just what the hell was this guy spending his money on?

Loud knocking startled a tiny jump and squeak out of him, the entire car rocking with his movement. He turned towards the sound, hand reaching instinctively towards the gun hidden inside his leather jacket.

A pale-haired man stood outside his window, stooping over to peer through at him, wearing a bright smile. He waved cheerfully and then held up a colorful sheet of paper.

Daichi hesitated. He glanced at the apartment building once more but it remained still and silent. He pursed his lips and pressed the button on the car door. The window lowered silently, allowing a fresh, cool breeze to fill the vehicle.

“Hi!” the man immediately leaned an arm on the door, invading Daichi’s space in one swift movement as he thrust the flyer inside. “I’m the priest of the Catholic church just at the end of this street. The kids call me Father K!” he lifted a peace sign and smiled, soft brown eyes squinting shut.

“Uh…” Daichi’s eyes wandered down over the white clerical collar peeking out between the black fabric of his long sleeved button-up as he took the flyer from him. “Hello…”

“Sorry to bother you,” he went on. “It’s just that we’re having a barbeque tomorrow at noon and we’d really like to reach out to the community so I’ve been walking around passing these babies out to spread the word!”

“Oh…” Daichi stared at the sheet of paper.

There was an image of a family sitting around a picnic table, eating burgers and hot dogs while they laughed. Large, thick letters spread across the top reading:

Treat Yourself to Our Savory Meat!

Daichi pursed his lips tight together to avoid letting out a laugh at the unfortunate choice of wording.

He cleared his throat and nodded, “Ah… I see.” He lifted his eyes to the priest and caught him smirking quietly at him. The smirk warmed and he folded his arms over the side of Daichi’s door.

“It’s bound to be a fun time,” he said. “Lots of good food, some games… have you ever played rodeo golf?”

“Uhm… no, I don’t believe I have,” Daichi glanced towards the apartment building.

“What about washers?”

“No…”

“Horseshoes?”

“Ah. Yeah. I’ve played that.”

“Perfect! Anyway, it starts at noon and is going all day long. I really hope you can come and visit for a bit!”

Daichi lowered the flyer, “Yeah. I’ll pop in and check it out a little later in the day…” Guilt filled him and he winced. “No. No, that was a lie. I’m sorry. I can’t believe I just lied to a priest, holy fuck.” His eyes widened and he turned in the seat to face him, “Oh my God— gosh! I’m sorry. I’m just really tired and—”

He laughed and Daichi clamped his mouth shut.

The priest leaned his chin in the palm of his hand, fingers stretched lazily up his cheek. His ring finger rested just below a small beauty mark nestled in the corner of his left eye.

“Please relax,” he said gently, smile softening. “I’m Catholic. We drink alcohol in the middle of mass. A little cursing isn’t going to make me take up the rosary.”

Daichi lowered his eyes, “Sorry.”

He giggled, “What’s your name?”

Daichi hesitated.

He was supposed to be undercover. His name was well known in the criminal community, after all, and just the mention of it could send his perp on the run.

His alias for the day- decided by Oikawa- was Sato Haruka, a pathetic sap hanging outside his ex-girlfriend’s apartment in hopes that he would run into her on her way to work so that he could convince her to take him back.

He was fairly certain the embarrassing cover story was Oikawa’s way of getting revenge on Daichi for passing off that undercover stripper case to him two weeks ago.

I’m still finding glitter in my ass crack, Sawa-chan!” he had complained to him just that morning.

It’s not my fault. There’s no way anyone would believe I was a stripper. He was the only realistic choice for that case.

Despite hating it, Daichi had practiced his embarrassing cover in his head for hours, trying his best to meld into the role of pitiful Sato Haru-chan.

And yet…

“Daichi,” he replied, offering a hand.

He couldn’t help it.

It just didn’t feel right to lie to a man of the cloth.

“Daichi,” he repeated and a sudden flush of warmth filled Daichi’s chest at the sound. “Daichi,” he said again, reaching out and taking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Daichi.”

And Daichi found that he really liked the way he said his name. The way he carefully enunciated the Dai and let the chi spring softly from his tongue. 

It made him feel like he was something precious, a diamond in the palm of his hand.

“So, Daichi. You won’t be stopping by our little barbeque tomorrow then?” he slid his fingers slowly away and Daichi found himself missing the touch.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I have… business to attend to all day.”

“Hmmm… I won’t lie… I’m a little disappointed.”

Daichi looked away and cleared his throat, cheeks warming.

The priest giggled and leaned back, hands still resting on the door.

“Well, whatever your business is, I’m sure it’s very important. So I won’t keep you any longer.” He winked and said in a low voice, “I’m sure we will be seeing much more of each other in the future. So…” he straightened and peered down at him with a smile that made Daichi’s stomach flip. “Until we meet again?”

He swallowed hard, “Ah… yeah. It was… a pleasure to meet you, Father.”

“Please,” he took a step back, one eyebrow lifting over brown eyes glinting with mischief. He turned and called over his shoulder, “Call me Daddy.”

Daichi choked and coughed into his fist. He pounded his chest and watched with wide eyes as he walked away, a slow, confident swagger to the sway of his hips that made the collar of Daichi’s shirt feel hot and itchy. He tore his gaze away and rubbed roughly at his eyes, trying to scrub away the impure thoughts that had filled his mind.

There was no way he was going to hell for fantasizing about a man of God.

What a stupid reason to burn in eternal hellfire.

Oikawa would never let him hear the end of it.

He sucked in a deep breath and lowered his hands to his lap.

“Just a few more hours,” he whispered, staring through the windshield at the apartment building. He lifted the flyer and set it aside, taking the file and bringing it into his lap once more.

Daichi was under pressure.

And his grandmother always said that pressure creates diamonds.

But he hoped- in his case- that his grandmother was wrong.

Daichi had no desire to be a diamond, coveted and stolen by criminals.

It was his job to put those criminals behind bars, after all.

He flipped the file open and read over the information for what had to be the thirtieth time.

“Two meters tall, a hundred and eight kilograms, brown hair, blue eyes… alright.”

He lifted his gaze.

“Show yourself, Sugawara Koushi.”

Originally posted by ohsheselectric

  • me: if u feel anxiety after every time u have an argument with someone, maybe u should stop... doing that so much
  • me at every event: heterosexuality is a myth, the electoral college is racist, objectifying dudes is a fun hobby to do with ur friends, here is a list of every historical figure who wronged me, i've never seen breaking bad and i am 100% sure i hate it, do u remember when u pretended to like radiohead because i do and i'm still furious that shit is boring and i'd rather listen to my shitty microwave yell than thom yikes, also bite me