(this is really tasteless sorry)

anonymous asked:

hi! i am currently unsure who to romance with my latest lavellan and am considering solas? because i haven't romanced him before but i have been really hesitant to. please can you give me your top 10 favourite reasons on romancing him!

YES. PERFECT. Here are my top 10 reasons for romancing that man:

  1. His intelligence. You can hear it in his speech and see it through his actions. Although some people may find his constant explanations and stories a bore, I, on the other hand, find it to be very attractive.
  2. He’s passionate in what he believes in. The topic of freedom (ie. templars and mages or the Qun and slaves) gets his blood pumping.
  3. I know others may disagree but I believe that Solas, in his very core, is a good person. The Inquisitor’s conversations with him as well as his party banter backs this up.
  4. He treats spirits and people equally and is quite open-minded about blood magic and the Maker.
  5. SOLAS IS ONE SMOOTH MOTHERF**CKER. Please…just…click that flirt button.
  6. That jaw. That ass. Those eyes. Those legs. He’s a really beautiful man. It’s a slow realization but once you see it, you’d think he’s the most gorgeous man in the whole game (or the whole world, if you’re as obsessed as I am)
  7. (Spoiler Alert) He’s the freaking Dread Wolf who is practically the ‘devil’ from Dalish legend and yet here he is, a man who is not evil at all and your Dalish Inquisitor is the only one he falls SO HARD for? SIGN ME UP FOR THAT. His greatest fear is to die alone and now that we know he’s practically immortal, being in love with a mortal who is dying from his mark IS JUST TOO PAINFUL DAMMIT WEEKES.
  8. He calls you vhenan *cries*
  9. If you have a keen private eye, then you can really see the subtle things in his romance scenes that add up to his character. Also, he’s the only romance option that leaves a whole lot of ways out for the Inquisitor to go and have a happy romance somewhere else.
  10. He chooses Lavellan. He chooses to fall in love with her and is always on equal grounds with her.

You probably think that lists are a perfectly fine format. It’s comfortable, after all. Generally, each point in a list starts with the writer (me, in this instance) telling the reader (you, at least this time) something that they both agree is true. The point of this paragraph is for the writer and the reader to get to know each other a bit and, hopefully, relate on this particular topic. “This is something we both agree is true about the world, right?” the writer asks the reader, and then the reader thinks to his or herself: “Wow! It’s like I’m reading my own thoughts on the page!”

But you see, it’s impossible to fit smart ideas into a list, because I’ve been reading a lot of comments recently, and it turns out lists are always clickbait. Always. In fact, if you try to get anyone’s attention at all or just say something that somebody disagrees with, then you become clickbait. It’s a cut-throat world out there. And if you actually look at multiple studies in peer-reviewed journals, you’ll find that-


What is this?

Oh goddammit.

Look, I’m sorry, Lists, that must have seemed really tasteless. I promise I didn’t mean that as some kind of meta-joke or passive-aggressive jab. I hate meta-humor. It’s just that I’ve been writing for Cracked for over five years now, and it’s really hard to shake this habit.

Why List Articles Are Dead (A List Article)