You had been missing for four months. The letters from the ministry kept coming, but they all said the same thing. He had read the first one a thousand times, then the second one a hundred. When the 50th and the 51st came in, he read the first line, then threw them in the fire.
He thinks about that day sometimes.
No, all the time. He thinks about the way you strode out the door with the wind on your back. Did you even look back before you walked out? He couldn’t remember. He hates himself for not being able to remember.
He wonders if you think about him too. He wonders if you’re having fun in America. Of course you aren’t, but what if you were? What if everything was alright and you had just run away to the Bahamas to clear your mind? What if you were on your way back right now?
What if, what if, what if.
Another day goes by, and what if.
Another hour goes by, and what if.
He sees it come through the mail slot, like most ministry documents are delivered. In the most casual and careless way possible.
He usually puts them aside, not being able to get past the address without breaking into a fit of sobs.
But he had to open it. He had to open all of them.
He expected the first words to read what they always did. A far too formal greeting, then an apology for lack of information to his/her loved one or family worker.
But there was no print, this was written in a fine handwriting he could spot from a mile away.
Rufus Scrimgeor had written him a personal letter.
Dear Mister Scamander,
I would like to report that the squadron of aurors on duty in America are no longer missing. However, I regret to inform you that there had not been a single survivor. Not even the most talented of our team could handle the great dark force haunting the states. We are at a great loss, but none as big as I imagine yours is, sir. I am very sorry I have to be the one to deliver the news, of Miss (Y/L/N)’s death…I personally felt I should write this letter myself, for I feel at a blame for this unimaginable loss. I saw potential in this fine young woman at such a young age. I was selfish, I should not have acted so rash for such a young soul. Now she is no longer with us, and I cannot help but feel responsible. She will be awarded the highest of honors at the funeral, which I will pay for entirely myself. Her legacy will not be forgotten. (Y/N) shall live on in the minds and hearts of those who loved her, and live in the hopes and dreams of everyone who hears her story. We are with you, Mister Scamander. We will make this right.
Newt felt nothing, he didn’t have time to register anything before the letter slipped between his fingers, hitting the wooden floor with an audible clatter.
Your death…you had died. You had left, and you hadn’t returned.
You will never return.
He felt his knees hit the ground, and broke into a hysteria of sobbing and gasping.
No. No, no, no, no, this couldn’t be happening.
“No, no, NO” He cried, shaking hands fumbling for the discarded parchment.
“No, no you can’t be gone, you couldn’t have left me! (Y/N)…(Y/N) I love you, I need you to come back! I’m sorry, I never should have let you go, I never should have said those things! Just…please…” he shouted angrily at the letter, begging it to somehow resurrect you.
But the more he shouted, the more he felt himself lose his grip on the situation.
He closed his fist around the letter, lifting it to the best of his abilities with his trembling hands.
Newt couldn’t help the tears. They were cascading down his cheeks like a faucet that wouldn’t stop.
He would have to plan your funeral. He would have to call your parents. He could only imagine the sound of your mother’s screams as he told her the news. Would he even be able to say it?
He still can’t really believe it.
He will never get to hold you ever again. If he longed for you back in his arms before, he definitely felt it now more than ever. He will never feel the warmth of your hand interlaced in his. He will never wake up to your weary smile next him, your legs tangled together in the sheets. He will never know the heat of your lips pressed against his every again.
So that was why the air was colder tonight.
Newt finally knew why.
THIS CONCLUDES “SUPPORT ME”
tbh I don’t think I have it in my to write any more hardcore angsty stuff like this took a lot out of me
I am really so sorry for being inactive again, again and again.
I have a hard time and my strength is gone but I promise to catch up as soon as possible.
I really do not mean it bad, I am so sorry.
And I have not forgot you, I love you all!!!
Please take care of you 💕!
Yo sorry for being inactive,,, again
I lost my phone and computer so there won’t art from me for awhile,, sorry guys - hopefully I’ll be able to get shit done soon,, again sorry for not being here - mod nack
Happy Valentine’s Day!! And I’m back!!!!!! Guys I’m terribly sorry for being inactive for so long. I’ve started a job and everyday for the last few months has been pretty exhausting. But I’m taking a break now and hopefully I’ll be able to start drawing again!