(shounen is the worst)

Spring Anime 2017 Part 1: woke up late

This time I prepared so I could get to the procrastinating right with the first post! Yay! Let’s get this show on the road.

See also:

• spring anime 2017 part 2: girlfriendship is magic

• spring anime 2017 part 3: comfy and easy to wear

• spring anime 2017 bonus round: things you already knew were good


Alice to Zouroku

So get this, a pretty girl with psychic superweapon powers escapes from a lab she’s been in her whole life and now has to adapt to the real world with the help of a guy she stumbles upon, all while being chased by her superweapon former friends. But in a shocking twist, this is actually better than Elfen Lied! Not being written by someone as brutally incompetent as Lynn Okamoto is a start, but the real change here is that our heroine is less murder machine and more genuinely cute, and more importantly the guy she ends up with is not a harem ringleader dorklord, but a grumpy elderly florist. Yeah, we’re skipping the recent trend of dadfeel anime and diving headfirst into granddad feels (I don’t know if aging otaku are quite old enough to fully self-insert yet, but the same principle applies). It’s a low hanging fruit, but that’s what makes it work; a deliberate, contemplative pace and delightfully whimsical music by TO-MAS also help. So far, so good, were it not for the fact that this is only one aspect of the show. Of course a show like this would have an action half as well, and that one’s pretty garbage. Not only is it directed with zero impact or excitement, it also relies on horrible CG a lot - I really don’t want to be reminded of Hand Shakers this quickly again, thank you very much. Plus, it runs with a Alice in Wonderland metaphor, which is baby’s first literary reference and doesn’t bode well about the intellectual ambitions of the project. So we have one half that’s admittedly effective, but also very predictable and which desperately needs to go somewhere to pay off. The other half just plain sucks and has little chance to improve. I think I’ll give this one a few more chances to sort out its priorities, but it’s definitely not a sure thing.


Busou Shoujo Machiavellianism

A cocky guy walks into a school full of pretty girls with weapons who have managed to sissify all the dudes by forcing them to crossdress. He then proceeds to troll them with his rugged charm. You know, it’s really not that easy to offend me but damn this show is trying. Apart from bottom-tier harem crap setup, this show also looks like ass and is tremendously boring; a few well done action cuts do not in fact excuse “fights” that mostly consist of exposition about special attacks, or terminally uninspired direction. Macchiavellism is the worst of shounen fightmens crossed with the worst of harem LNs, plus some of the worst jokes bad anime comedy can come up with. It’s not even audacious enough in its badness to boggle the mind; I could watch this if I was interested in adding another 1/10 to my MAL, but that’s about all I can appreciate about it.


Frame Arms Girl

Speaking of unholy combinations, here’s Gundam Build Fighters x Rozen Maiden x Strike Witches: A girl stumbles into a sentient mecha musume model kit that spends its time explaining the technical details of model building to her and attracts other model kits that want to fight. It’s an ad for model kits, what do you expect. There’s no characters, the plot is utterly uninteresting, the action’s bad, it looks subpar to bad, and the only high point is how brazenly it reads to you from the manual.


Gin no Guardian

Here’s your latest Chinese webcomic adaptation from your friends at Haoliners Animation League (Shanghai) Inc., whose output has been asymptotically approaching the quality level of a bad Japanese cartoon for years now: Closer than ever, but still not quite there. Maybe they should stop picking bad webcomics with incomprehensible nonsense plots as source material, just sayin’. So this is about a dude who beats up CG zombies in the spirit world but the actual story is how he got there? Or something? It manages to look barely alright and even has some visually striking design work, but its half-length run time prevents it from forming any semblance of coherence and I’m not about to ask for further clarification.


Oushitsu Kyoushi Haine

In a vaguely 18th century Germanic kingdom, a grown ass man with the body of a ten year old and a snarky disposition is hired to become the tutor of an instaharem of fabulous princes. I really don’t get who this is for; obviously the harem is straight out of a PSP otome dating sim, but it’s lacking the obvious self-insert dimwitted main girl, and no, it isn’t gay romance either. Even though it’s a comedy, that aspect does not seem to be played for outright parody. The source material is running in GFantasy, a shounen title (but not one as specifically elementary schooler-focused as Jump, it also carries fujo favorites such as Black Butler). Dubious provenance aside, Haine is moderately funny if nothing else, mainly due to the deadpan reactions of the main character to these ridiculous dreamboats. It just also drags more than a little, with long conversations that aren’t very entertaining all the time. It’s watchable compared to a lot of the stuff out this season, but I remain unconvinced.


Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Records

After Macchiavellism already obliterated the battle harem bingo, here’s our next winner. The setup’s more or less the same and in some respects it’s even more formulaic (the school is actually a magic school for magic people, princesses, duels, &c), but Akashic Record is not quite as odious simply by focusing on being a comedy first and foremost and pulling that off at least on a technical level - it has good visual execution and comedic timing. The question is just how much credit you want to give it for that when the jokes themselves still suck, and that’s of course ignoring the entire setup being Light Novel as all fuck. Kinda seems familiar actually, because this is not entirely unlike to what KonoSuba did to the isekai genre, and people keep trying to tell me that that was totally great. Well, go watch this one then, motherfuckers.


Sagrada Reset

But there’s always the other kind of light novel, the one where high schoolers talk about life, people and the world. Think Bakemonogatari or OreGairu. Sagrada Reset wants a slice of that pie and starts by stealing the magical realism conceit from classic™ visual novel Wind ~A Breath of Heart~: There’s a remote town in Japan where everyone has superpowers, but if they leave the town they instantly forget about it. Oops, i guess I just spoiled Wind’s midgame, but I have to since Sagrada Reset puts this stuff right upfront because it has to discuss technicalities (at length) to make its plot work. Yeah, that’s how I like my magical realism, thoroughly explained and conceived by people who should write wikis, not fiction. There’s a girl who can reset time, but only once per arbitrary period of time and also including herself, which means she only finds out she already did it once it doesn’t work again. So that’s pretty useless, except there’s a guy whose superpower is having his memory unaffected by this. They have to work together to solve… some problems, I suppose. This whole idea seems to have potential in a JoJo subplot sort of way, but it’s completely sunk by the way the thing is written, since apparently the writer has never met a human being in his life. It’s entirely made of these pseudo-deep highschool stoner philosophy conversations presented in a lifeless inflection by people who stand around like robots on battery saver mode. This seems to be intentional (at least the term “robot” is thrown around a couple of times, which is certainly ominous), but it also makes for an excruciating and interminable watching experience.


Sakura Quest

Since Sakura Quest was announced, I have been gleefully throwing water on the hype of people who expected this to be the next Shirobako. After all, how likely is it for lightning to strike twice, especially considering Mizushima is not in the director’s seat? Surely it was all just wishful thinking, I want a S2 of Shirobako as much as everyone but I just don’t trust anime. Well consider me fucking told, since apparently among the parties wishing for more Shirobako is P.A. Works, and unlike the anitwitterati they can make it happen. The actual brand name seems to be reserved for a Mizushima project, but I would have no trouble believing that Sakura Quest is a spinoff about Aoi’s sister in the boonies; Shirobako Sunshine, if you will. The initial setup is mirrored here; Yoshino is not a young professional starting her dream job, but a young professional unable to score a dream job (or any job) so she settles for a random one she’s very skeptical of, but will undoubtedly learn to love. Apart from that, well, it’s Shirobako: The positive tone, the large cast of likeable oddballs, the relatable writing about post-highschool problems, and it even looks completely identical. I’ll still be realistic about it: Shirobako isn’t great for what its ideas were, but for how thoroughly it delivered in the long run, and this is by no means guaranteed to also happen with Sakura Reset Quest. For an episode 1 though, it’s like a dream come true, and P.A. are setting themselves up for seasonal double domination with this and Uchouten Kazoku S2.


Souryo to Majiwaru Shikiyoku no Yoru ni

Enough gushing, here’s 5 minutes of porn. Okay, it’s josei porn so there may still be gushing involved if you know what I mean, nyuk nyuk. Er, sorry about that. Sooooo there’s a sexually frustrated woman who meets her school crush who’s now a priest, and then they fuck. With a staff made up mostly of (non-josei, but hey) hentai OVA veterans, there is really only one way this could go. I appreciate the brazenness as usual, but I really don’t know how much steamy harlequin romance tailored to TV broadcast standards I want to watch.


Tsugumomo

I’ve seen some warnings about Tsugumomo based on its source material which is a manga with 1. a very high level of art quality and 2. content that has been described as “makes To-Love Ru Darkness look family friendly”. This may explain why it has not been licensed. It doesn’t explain why this first episode is fairly tame though; sure, it’s very much an ecchi comedy, but you get those from time to time and Tsugumomo is not any more raunchy than what I’m used to seeing (and it accomplishes this even without obvious BD-advert censoring). That incidentally also removes any reason to watch it: The plot is as basic “guy gets magical girlfriend for purposes of fights and/or walking in on her naked in the bath” from 15 years ago as they come, and it’s suspiciously well animated, but not well enough for that to be a selling point. Maybe it will get real skeevy eventually, I won’t be around to find out.


Warau Salesman NEW

Warau Salesman starts strong with ultra cool, Saul Bass-inspired opening credits, but that’s about all it has to offer. It’s based on a “black comedy” manga from the 60s by one of the Doraemon authors, and oh boy can you tell. Not only are the character designs 60s-tastic (so at least the Osomatsu-san fujos can schlick to something while they wait for the S2 of that), but so are the sensibilities: The titular salesman goes around tempting frustrated office workers with doing something moderately irresponsible, such as drinking in your lunch break or spending above your means, and then ruins their life when they actually do it. It’s like Twilight Zone written by your HR department. In the 60s. This stuff would have been outdated even in 1989, when it was animated for the first time – hence the “NEW”. I don’t know, it just seems mean-spirited, obvious and pointless, and most importantly I put the “black comedy” in quotes because in addition to not being very black, it’s not funny in any way, and unlike regular anime comedy I can’t even see what’s supposed to be funny. 

anonymous asked:

Thank goodness I'm not the only one despises Fairy Tail. The fan service and the fact that Mashima can only ever draw one single female body type infuriates me. The writing and plot progression isn't much to talk about either. I can genuinely say it's one of the worst pieces of shounen manga I've ever come across

I really liked the first few arcs then it got kinda boring and the extreme fanservice just made me glad I never bothered to catch up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

I’m probably the only one, but I think Gintoki’s role model.

Not literally, of course, it’s still not recommendable to go to Yoshiwara or to lose a lot  of pennies at pachinkos. But he has some characteristics for which he’s the closest SJ hero of all to a real life individual struggling through past and present pains.

He was an orphan in times of war, fed himself with what he found in deserted battlefield. He carried a rusty sword and trusted no one.

Then he found a home, a “father”, friends. 

Even then, he never let go of the rusty sword. A kid with such a childhood, you can easily imagine why.

Until he had to fight to protect them and lost it all.

“ There were two things I wanted to protect. I didn’t want to lose either of them. But it ended up where if I didn’t throw one of them, I would end up losing both. I tried to protect both, but that was the same throwing both away… Even now, I dream about it… Wondering if there was some better way.“

He was arrested and sentenced to death, because that’s how the winners deal with the losers.

He was pardoned, but had nothing left to live for and immense regret. He ate the offerings for the dead in cementeries.

He adjusted his life, somehow. 

He’s a slacker, full of vices - a particularly immoral one for strawbery milk -, of bad habits. He works - kinda -, lives off what he can… he doesn’t look like a hero.

The only thing he could do - extremely well - was fighting, like a demon. And it just brought him grief.

Having said this, He reminds most of all of a war veteran. Shell-shocked, haunted. Parts of a certain ending of the anime describe it well.

He’s not a role model for Shinpachi and Kagura, who are essentially two teens left to the care of the most untrustworthy adult you’ll ever find. The thing he teaches them best is how not to be like him. 

But the two healed him. Took care of him, somehow. It’s hard to tell in the short serious sagas among the masses of demential arcs, but that’s how it is. Otose said it herself, at some point. 

And the three form the oddest family because they just held themselves together, somehow.

I think Gintoki’s a role model because he’s real. He’s not Naruto, who, yeah, had a fucked up life, but is a ninja in a world whose mechanisms are so different from ours, he’s not Luffy with his destiny drawn right before him, his strong nakama, his wicked enemies, he’s not Ichigo with immense power, he’s not Toriko, who fights all day long, he’s not Natsu, and I could go on -

Gintoki is laid-back, because he can’t take any more grief. He’s cheerful, because he’s been mourning  for too long. Gintoki doesn’t  show a big optimistic smile like the other Big Three heroes: he’s got a grin. A sarcastic smile. Life’s been taking too much of a toll on him, and now he’s just the way he is, the way he faces everything with that nonchalantic attitude, because of that. He drinks because he’s an idiot and he drinks because he’s sad. Many other shounen heroes have similar if not worst backgrounds - think of Berserk, though that’s a seinen, of HxH, but that manga in a genre itself -, but the fact that the setting is close to our world and the way Gori-sensei tell the story makes it different in the perception. So, Gintoki may have suffered less than others - also because eveything is exaggereted in mangas - but his pain is closer, more tangible, easier for us to relate to. And because he’s overcoming this, slowly, not with a family, not even really with friends, but with a couple of “disciples”, and then a bunch of absurd individuals, sort of wastes of human being, homeless guys, idealistic partisans, terrorists, cabaret girls, cabaret boys, prostitutes, stray-dog samurais, aliens…

Sorachi takes this bad examples of society and puts them in life-or-death situations where their decisions and strenght and courage incredibly make the difference. People who have nothing, no particular desires, no more beliefs, all with a heavy burden to carry, they aren’t heroes, because all heroes have a dream to achieve, something great, something good. These people mostly want to overcome a shadowy past, and yet they are more heroic thay anybody else. 

Because they are more real. It’s easy to be heroic when you’re blessed with powers, destiny and a dream. 

But Gintama’s characters show that everyone can be a hero even in a world like ours so distant from any idealization. And Gintoki’s evolution shows that something so heavy can be overcome, somehow - slowly, thanks to the people you casually meet along the way. 

anonymous asked:

hi there! first: i love your blog. your goonified icons are so cute! : ) second: i recently watched phantom rouge and wanted to know what your opinion on it was? i know you said somewhere that you didn't like it, but i wanted to know why : ) thank you!! <3

aww, thank you!!! i was actually considering changing my icon… (gasp!) but i’d just be changing it to a different goon lol.

i think, for me personally, the overwhelming issue with both of the hxh movies is that they follow your average shounen manga cliches. the second movie is the worst offender of the two imo but phantom rouge is also pretty guilty of it.

one example is how they handle battles. a huge reason i love hxh is how well-written the rules system is for nen. tbh, because nen has clearly established rules, a part of me is like, “how do you not think through the basics here??” but the seemingly unlimited power of the Big Bad in phantom rouge w/o any real risk/vow established just drove me up the wall! like, he controls dozens (if not more) puppets at once, with seemingly their own consciousness, and yet it was established in like the heaven’s arena that even creating a single, exact clone is highly draining. iirc i think it’s also addressed (or implied by kurapika) that tocino is only able to create so many puppets at once because of how simplified they are. so like… how the hell is this dude in the phantom rouge doing any of this???

there’s also just a lot of questionable character writing, like killua deciding to jump in front of a train (?????) and kurapika not really being all that mad after discovering pairo’s been possessed or whatever. like, you think kurapika is just going to mope around in bed for a while after that?? the kurapika i know is gonna be pissed and refuse to stay put until he gets to the bottom of it.

anyway, i think that summarizes a majority of my issues with it. there’s other ones too (like creating an original female character just to be a love interest for gon???) but these are the major ones imo lol.

anonymous asked:

The worst part about Yaoi (and/or Shounen Ai) are those few instances when a legitimately sweet story seems like it's trying to break through only for the conventions of the genre to barge in awkwardly and ruin everything.

i’m assuming u mean yaoi in any form of media??? personally i wouldn’t know the feel since i’ve never really watched/read a yaoi anime/manga properly ((and i’m glad i haven’t i felt severely put out after the episodes i managed)) but i can infer how the “roles” in the couples’ relationships would interfere with any sort of sweet story.

can we just?? delete yaoi from this planet??? 

pls.

the treatment of ichigo and rukia this final arc

feel free to reblog if you think it was bs how ichigo and rukia were treated this final arc and that ichigo got the worst resution for his character. As well as the worst resolution of any shounen or manga protagonist ever.

Goddamn Y’all

Firstly, my reaction to this chapter, summed up in a vine.

But in all seriousness, this is, basically, the equivalent of if he took away canon for them. Sasusaku is confirmed, yet once again, to be nothing they want it to be. 

 All those fanarts, fanfics, and stark defending (like Salad calling Sasuke Papa) as this perfect, happy, loving family with whipped Sasuke constantly fucking his sexy wife and doting on his daughter are thrown in the gutter. It’s not even like these can be considered headcanons or interpretations. These are false. Incorrect. Not the correct portrayal of their family, their relationships with each other, or their history. If they weren’t completely OOC before, it is canon that they are not. Badass Sakura who fights alongside her man, making SS the cool women power couple? False. Sasuke being lovey dovey with his wife? False. Salad being daddy’s little princess? False. To portray them this way would be an AU, as canon as Narusaku at this point (and we all know how deeply they look down on portraying something other than canon). And now, if Kishi really hates Sakura and Sasusaku, Salad is not Sakura’s biological daughter and the defense that they had sex at least once would come tumbling down.

This can end ~happily~ even if these things occur. Sakura still being a great mom to Salad despite them not being biologically related, and Sasuke and Sakura finally raising her together, Or Salad still being Sakura’s daughter and Sasuke staying home with them? That’s nice, but once again, the point of criticism flies completely over Sasusaku’s head. But the pairing, if all the other shit in the manga hadn’t buried them enough, this has all but cemented the irreversible damage to Sasusaku it has caused. 

Sakura is confirmed to be a doormat.

Sakura may not have even married Sasuke.

Sakura has no photos of Sasuke, and has to photoshop herself onto a photo of Sasuke with Taka and another woman.

Sakura hasn’t seen or heard from Sasuke in 12-13 years.

Sakura is still angty and miserable.

Salad does not know her father.

Sasuke has been wandering around on his redemption journey for 12 straight years.

The dynamic between Sasuke and Sakura has not grown or changed from when they were 12. 

Salad finds fault in her mother for letting Sasuke do whatever he wants, even completely neglecting their child, while Sakura just wants to deflect.

Salad, in all likelihood because Kishi has done worse, might not even be Sakura’s biological child. 

It cements what we already know- Sasusaku is not just the worst pairing to become canon, but the worst main pairing in shounen at the moment. Every single facet of it is hilariously bad and/or mildly offensive in every capacity one can think of, with the worst group of shippers in the fandom. As I said, a complete and utter thematic failure of a pairing. It doesn’t even represent the basic shounen, Naruto values of being anything remotely positive, heartfelt, or uplifting. 

I know there’s no accounting for taste if you ship Sasusaku, but perhaps now you can finally admit what has always been evident-you ship this for the fanon, because canon Sasusaku is, by far, one of the worst ships I’ve come across.