(notreally)

‘Moho’ callout post

Now I’m warnin’ ya kiddies, shit’s about to get graphic
( @moho-milk-town-and-power-down )

You know that one fellow popular on tumblr about making two fictional characters fuck eachother, right? Y’all may call her as your ‘bean king’, the one true god ‘Moho’…

but i’m here to say

she’s not what she tells everyone she is..

See here, Being a detective that I am, I have proven that she is not JUST a furry in disguise… but..

“Nya”…

…. a fokin’ Weeb…

EVEN AFTER I, THE WELL KNOWN (notreally) FoX-THE-DOESNT-TWIST-THE-TRUTH, HAVE CONFRONTED HER ABOUT IT AS SHE TRIES TO GO BACK ON THE FACT OF REVEALING WHO SHE REALLY IS

BUT OH NO NO!!
It doesn’t stop there kiddies.

moments later…

she reveals that…

She’s sexually attracted to Barry Bee Benson..
YES! I CAN HEAR YOU GASPING “b-but ивана,, just bc she called a bee daddy doesn’t make her fully attracted to be-” shut your fucking mouth-hole voice in my head,,
What if I told you..

She has fully admitted to the illegal crime that is to “fuck bees”
*slams paperwork on table*
I WILL SINGLE-HANDEDLY (single-paw…edly..??) SUE THE BEE-RACE

I have even found visual proof of all of this!!

shE WAS CAUGHT ON CAMERA SLEEPING WITH A FUCKING B E E

if this is not enough evidence, you’re blind. WAKE UP AMERICA

What do you mean I’m making this post bc im pissed that my wife cheated on me with a bee//
You’re

no

i’m,,
I’m not racist towards bees,, just,,-
*starts sobbing* whY DID YOU LEAVE ME FOR A BEE, I T-THOUGHT W-WE HAD SOMETHINGGG aaAAAHH

–F-Fuck bees man,, 
I’m just so

Hurt q-q




*coughs* SO! Next time on Dramaalert nation™ we’ll have a full on discussion about the 100 reasons why Pent is best daddy-

Party- for Good Boys Only

Pairing: AmazingPhil & Danisnotonfire (Phan)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Daddy!kink

Warnings: Parental Divorce, Sexual Content

Word count: 9000

Summary: Dan and Phil are reluctant stepbrothers soon to be strangers. When Dan’s father decided to marry Phil’s mother, no one could have predicted the marriage ending in flames only a few weeks later. The two boys who avoided each other at all costs during the marriage are brought together one last time before they part ways forever. Phil hates Dan. Dan can’t stand Phil. But what happens when a house party goes terribly wrong and they end up needing each other more than their parents ever did?  

AKA. Angsty teenage Dan, a drunken night no one can remember, mysterious hickies, thigh riding, overstim, sexual tension for days etc… 

Keep reading

instagram

Hello my #Beautiful #Yogis. I want to say thank you to everyone for sending me love and great vibes on my birthday today. This is 34, I am healthier, stronger and happier than I have ever been. This body has birthed and nursed two healthy children, it has sustained me, and held me up. It continues to amaze me. I have grown so much over the last couple of years. Thank you for being a part of my journey, watching my videos, listening to my random musings, liking my pics. You guys inspire me everyday to be better than I was the day before. I love you for that! Here’s to another trip around the sun, I am 34 years strong! Sleep well, stay #light and #awesome.

#yoga #yogaMom #YogisOfIG #ThisIsMyTurnUp #oldLady #NotReally 😂 #Fitness #FitChick #FitFam #imStrong #HappyBirthday #EarthStrong #HandStand #Plank #wheelPose #Dhanurasana #YogaEveryDamnDay #YogaOffTheMat #smile #beLove #practice #PracticeDaily #itsMe #abs #TeamNatural #Pow #Peace #Namaste ✌🏽🙏🏽

Made with Instagram
instagram

Morning morning my #Beautiful #Yogis. There is something about the rain that I have always loved.
___________________________ I remember when I was a child I ran outside in the pouring rain in a T-shirt and underwear. My mom had just bathed me, And I was sitting in the living room watching cartoons, I must have been about 6 or 7. And the rain started to pour so hard that you could hear it on the roof. I unlocked the front door and stood on the porch then I just ran down the stairs to the walkway and jumped around. I remember my mom screaming, get in this house!! You’re going to get sick! What are you thinking?! But I wasn’t, and my heart was happy. She wrapped me in a towel, and dried me off…
___________________________ I mean that’s pure joy. What makes you happy? I mean really brings you joy? Hold on to that and know that your being and soul is capable of experiencing such pure love. Here’s to you and this King Pigeon variation. 😜man my hands are getting closer to my feet! Stay #light and #awesome.

#yoga #yogaMom #YogisOfIG #oldLady #NotReally 😂 #Fitness #FitChick #FitFam #imStrong #WhiteLeotardSeries #Kapotasana #Legs #KingPigeon #Variation #YogaEveryDamnDay #YogaOffTheMat #smile #beLove #practice #PracticeDaily #itsMe #abs #TeamNatural #Pow #Peace #Namaste ✌🏽🙏🏽

Made with Instagram
Oral Insecurities (smut)

dinomite-notreally : If you’re still taking request, do you think you could do one where Dan is trying to be intimate after a small dispute but reader stops when Dan tries to attempt oral (on reader). Reader is apprehensive because they’ve never had it done to them before, discussion opens up a can of worms(i.e insecurities((not shaving,smell,taste, ect)), not sure what to do), make-up/“i wanna show you how amazing you are” smut ensues. Plz. Just a very long idea, sorry. Your writing is amazing! Thank you so much!

I am absolutely TERRIBLE at smut but I will give it a go. Thank-you so very much for reading my stuff :) xxoo

WARNING: SMUT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Your so beautiful” he moans into your ear as his hips grind down into yours, lips attaching to your neck powerfully.

You both had just been in an argument, about what? you can’t remember because the instant Dan’s loud voice made fear visible on your features he had to quickly make it up to you, taking hold of your face and kissing you feverishly.

“I’m so sorry, please never be scared of me.. I will never, ever hurt you” he had told you.

This all lead to now, you in your bra and panties and Dan in his tight boxers as his crutch pressed to yours while he whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

His kisses travelled down your body, paying extra attention to the cleavage of your breasts, he nipped and tucked, making sure to leave his mark all over your body.

He kissed down your body, then moving so his head was between your legs as he kissed up your thighs, as he got higher you got more nervous.  
Just before he reached your panties, you pulled him up, shutting your legs.

“Whats wrong, y/n?”

“nothing, it’s just.. I’m not… I’ve never..-“ you stuttered before being interrupted

“You’ve never had oral before?”

“yeah..” you whispered, a blush rising to your already heated cheeks

“hey, its okay” Dan lifts your face so that your looking at him, he kisses your lips softly before continuing to talk.

“I can go slow and-“

“i don’t know” you interrupted this time

“is there a reason you don’t want to?”

“It’s just… I’m little insecure about that stuff” you shyly admit

“What… why?”

“well, I’m worried you might get turned off or grossed out or-“

“Y/n, calm down baby. Why would I get turned off? That’s ridiculous. Your so beautiful”

“But Dan, what if I don’t… taste the way you want. Or smell how you’d expect. And well.. Im, not shaven and-“

Dan silences you with a kiss, his tongue connecting with yours before he speaks once more

“I wanna show you how amazing you are”

And before you know it, his large hands are between your legs, pushing them apart as his head dips down. He kisses over your clothed core, making you gasp.
His long fingers hook into the sides of your panties before sliding them down your legs.
A deep moan leaves his lips as he takes in the sight.

“d-dAn” you moan out as he takes a long lick up your wet slit, now moaning in approval as he tastes you.

“delicious” he whispers to himself.

His tongue runs over your clit, loving the sounds of pleasure that escape your lips while
your hands tangle into his dark brown hair.
He slides one finger into you while his whole head moves as his tongue rubs your clit in all sorts of patterns.

The pleasure is unlike anything you’ve felt before, your climax approaches so you warn Dan. He removes his fingers, causing you to whimper from the loss, that is until they are replaced by his talented tongue as he pumps it in and out of you.

“fffuck Dan!” you cry out as your orgasm hit you.

Dan allows you to ride out your high as he tastes as much of you as possible.
He hover over you once again, kissing your lips

“how was that?” he asks, a proud smirk on his gorgeous face while his chin is still slick from your juices

“Amazing” you reply breathlessly
“thank-You”

“Oh sweetheart, we’ve hardly even started"