(need-not-a-want-etc)

Calling All European/Well Traveled Followers

As some may know, me and Andy are planning a backpacking trip through Europe! We both are super excited and already are planning what we need and where we want to go etc. (The biggest obstacle we have right now is getting a long term visa so if anyone has any advice on that we will gladly take it). 

We were hoping that you guys might have some insight on the best non-tourist places to visit! If you guys want to comment your favorite places (name of place, location, monument, hike, anything else) we would love to visit! And if there are enough people interested we were talking about maybe having a meet up with some of you guys, if that appeals? 

Also to all our lovely friends in Europe, we would love to see you (and love you in person) so if you’re up to it message me and we can plan something? <3

The Second House - The House of Possessions

This is the second part of a twelve part series briefly explaining how the signs work in each house. Enjoy!

The Second House is known as the house of possessions because it represents the things we own in life, whether it be material goods or the possessions of ourselves as people with emotions, talents, needs, wants, etc. In today’s time the way we use our second house is by owning things to make our lives better, like owning a house to have a roof over your head, but often times the resources vary, and can also be like making a living out of singing. It is also a representation of our self confidence and self esteem. It is how we project ourselves to the world of what we aim to be. “The First House impulse is to create, and the Second House is to ask if that creation is sustainable.” 

*Do note that the houses are also influenced by the planets they are in, however, I am only discussing the signs and their influences.

Aries in the Second House: With this placement, competitiveness is a large factor. The way you choose to achieve greatness is by always trying to be better than someone else, even a past version of yourself. You always want to continue pushing forward and you’re willing to push your body to its limits as well. Very headstrong, you have the ability to be a leader at work, maybe even CEO. 

Taurus in the Second House: Taurus is the natural ruler of the second house so it is comfortable here. You seek for peace and serenity in its most simplistic form. You want to dig your hands into the dirt, be one with nature, and this is how you put your resources out into the world. You want to heal the earth and the people in it. Very stable, you are a person who is confident in themselves.

Gemini in the Second House: For you, your greatest tool for success is your great ideas and skillful ways of communicating. You can talk up ideas of how to make money, sometimes not achieving them, but you are able to adapt to any financial situation. What you wish for in life is not so much materialistic things but rather things that hold a sentimental value.

Cancer in the Second House: Emotions and the strong impact they have on us play a key part in this placement. You use emotions and seeing beyond the physical to make better decisions for yourself. If you are not financially secure it can cause you to feel weary and stressed. You take pleasure in nurturing others and it can very well become the way you establish your career. 

Leo in the Second House: Believe it or not, but your greatest resource in life is you. You use your charm, and the fact that people like you, to act as a leader. You are confident in standing up for yourself and others. As a Leo, you aim for the pleasures in life and showing others that those are the tools for happiness. Most importantly, you wish for people to admire you and your greatness. 

Virgo in the Second House: Your greatest resource is your thought process and your want to understand everything as a whole. You want to use the information you’ve gathered to build a life of stability. You are very detail oriented and intricate in the ways of planning something to create the best possible outcome. Everyone has a job and you ensure to help them know that for not just your sake but everyone’s sake. 

Libra in the Second House: If there is one skill most people seek to do well in any profession is having people skills. With this placement, you are in luck because that is your greatest asset. Partnership is important to you so you’re a natural peacemaker who wants to ensure everyone gets along. You feel most secure when you are linked to others and have a strong sense of balance with your emotions. 

Scorpio in the Second House: There is an intense energy with this placement because of the strong Pluto influences. Your greatest strength is asking to see the things society wishes to not see. You are not afraid to seek truth in whatever form it is, may it be taboo, sex, obsessions, subjects most people feel uncomfortable to talk about. You have the ability to endure the darkest depths of life in order to help heal yourself and others for greater change.

Sagittarius in the Second House: As ever growing as the Sagittarius is, you are always looking for new ways to be the best you can be. You have a strong thirst for knowledge and you use it to improve your life. You like to spend money on only the basics so you do not wish for a higher income like most. You’re not afraid to take risks with money which can be a positive attribute because you do not let money control your life. 

Capricorn in the Second House: Like most, you seek financial security and you are willing to work very hard for it. You may see that you might have to work harder than others to seek this greatness or even relying on the help of others. You can be cheap in your spending because you’d rather get by in life with the simple things than to spend extravagantly. An authoritative figure, you can be an entrepreneur since you are smart in your business affairs. 

Aquarius in the Second House: In this day and age, with the advancement of technology, you can benefit the most out of it because you have a keen interest on what is new and innovative. Although, you still seek your freedom and independence from the world, you may find yourself wanting to live off the grid. Your strongest desire in life is to seek the proper value in the materialistic world and combine it with the spiritual world. 

Pisces in the Second House: You seek love in the world so to you money is something that cannot give you love. Because of this, money or the desire of financial security is not the greatest importance in your life. This can cause problems in your life because it can put you in financial troubles that can even affect your loved ones. Make sure that you learn how to budget to spread your love the best way possible. 

Polyamory and breakups

Being in polyamorous relationships, for me, has meant that I intentionally and critically question and talk through every aspect of a relationship with any person I am entering said relationship with.

It has meant a tremendous amount of effort put toward open and honest communication, with the goal of eliminating silent expectations.

In the beginning of a relationship, I invest a lot of time into the conversation of “who are we to each other?”

Whether we choose commonly used terms like “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” or create our own language to describe the relationship, it is always followed by:

“what does that mean to you?”

Putting this effort in on the front end helps lay a foundation for successful communication about issues that come up within the relationship.

So what about when the relationship ends?

In monogamy, when a relationship ends, there are a series of actions that are expected to occur, immediately:

  • Cease all forms of physical contact, intimacy, or tenderness
  • Change communication to platonic, or cease communication
  • Sever all ties to close friends and family of the other person
  • Inform others promptly of the split
  • Separate shared assets, divide belongings
  • Cease cohabitation if it is taking place
  • etc.

In polyamory, with relationships that are as complicated and nuanced as the individuals within them, the process of breaking up is far less clear.

Is this a shift in the nature of our relationship, or a termination of it?
Are we ending our relationship romantically? Physically? Both?
Does this come from incompatibility, disinterest, or a lack of love? Something else altogether?
What will change, and what will not change?

Every single individual aspect of the relationship that was originally negotiated becomes re-negotiated during the process of breaking up, ending, changing, shifting, or re-evaluating an existing relationship.

It’s a parallel conversation through and through.

What will you call me in the new relationship we are entering?
Who will I be to you after this transition?

Will our relationship include sexual or physical components?
Are we terminating the sexual and physical components of this relationship?

How will you expect me to support you when things are difficult?
Is my emotional support still warranted, or should I redirect that energy?

In my opinion, a breakup that comes from incompatibility, versus a breakup that comes from abuse or lack of love, can usually be approached with tenderness and care by the individuals involved.

All the time and energy that went into constructing a relationship that was meant to fit the people involved can be brought to the process of breaking that relationship up.

This compassionate approach to ending a relationship can result in a lot of wonderful things:

  • Closure about why the relationship needs to change or end
  • Explanation for the ways that things did and didn’t work
  • Termination of parts of the relationship that are damaging
  • Potential to salvage parts of the relationship that are still positive
  • Potential to maintain a compassionate and loving approach to the people involved
  • Knowledge of self and others
  • Ability to express needs, wants, etc. that might not have been expressed in the relationship

Breaking up can be sad and frustrating and overwhelming and exhausting, but if the people involved care deeply about each other it is possible for breaking up to be a new beginning in the same moment as it is an end.

Thanks.

@instructor144 ,I wanted to thank you for all your advice. I met the man I’m dating because we were about to do kinky forum roleplay, but before our story got anywhere near sex, we fell hard and fast for each other as real people. We just clicked, virtually instantly. Early on he mentioned he was a Daddy Dom and had ideas about BDSM that were different from that of a lot of people. Everything he described sounded perfectly solid to me, but I was also very aware that all I knew about BDSM was whatever random pieces I’d picked up from erotica. I hadn’t researched anything to the level I’d need to if I were going to do something with a real person. Just to give you an idea how little I knew, I had to google the term “dd/lg,” and I assumed being a “Daddy Dom” literally just meant you were a Dom, and wanted people to call you Daddy.

So while we’ve been learning each other more and falling deeper and deeper over the last 6+ months, on the side I’ve been doing some thorough reading and processing, including reading your blog. And I’ve clarified a lot of things about myself, what it is precisely that was attracting me to BDSM at all, what sort of sub I am and what kinds of things I need/want, etc, which is fantastic.

Even as a vanilla partner he would have been amazing for me. And now that I’m starting to feel like I’ve got a solid handle on things, I’ve been bringing up more specific questions about our sexuality (he has been quite explicitly letting me set the pace), and we’re starting to get into the nitty gritty details - what different terms mean to us and why we identify with them, what underlying needs and desires they fill, how these match up with the other person, etc etc. And so far… it’s all fitting together quite well.

I’m… I’m really fucking smitten. And of course, who knows what will happen in the future. Maybe in the end nothing will come of this. But, just… every time! Anything I had to be concerned about, BDSM-related or otherwise. Any topic we’ve covered to this point, any conversation… Everything looks safe. Solid.

This is all the more personally relevant to me, because I’m the anon from a while back with the sociopathic ex-husband who regularly coerced me into sex I didn’t want with the claim that he needed it emotionally.

I left him eventually of course, when in a final confrontation it became clear he would never change, and had never truly intended to. The most important relationship I was supposed to have in my life, and I fucked it up about as hard as you can. Most people don’t marry serial rapists. For six years I couldn’t see through him, how deep his manipulation was - so how did I know I could stop it from happening again?

After leaving him, for months I dove deep into analyzing each of us, our relationship, what had happened and learning all I could about abuse (In case you can’t tell, I’m… something of a voracious researcher when I get going on a topic.) And that did help enormously, on an intellectual level… But however much you may have learned, that experience shatters a person’s faith in their own judgement. There’s always the fear of blind spots, risks that you can’t see.

And what’s been a source of enormous comfort to me, and gotten me really excited and hopeful for the future, has been reading your posts about what a Dom should be like and what a sub should look for, and seeing that at every turn he’s been doing precisely the right thing, going all the way back to when I would have had no idea what the fuck to look for.

I can read our chat logs from early on, and see that not only was he communicating his approaches and principles, he was clarifying things that would have told me what bad things he’s not. So, as I’ve read educational posts from you saying “X is terrible, never do that,” I can automatically recall things he’s said which preemptively allayed that concern, before I was aware there was a bad way to do it at all.

So, thank you. Because of your writing and the resources you’ve linked to, I’ve been able to learn a lot more about myself, which will last regardless of whatever happens with him, and to have a real sense of confidence and safety about my choices. I’m a lot farther into recovery a lot sooner than I ever thought I would be, and you had a significant hand in that.

Thank you.

yanaaugust  asked:

Hi Mister (love ur blog) I'm a little. I've known since last year. I have been trying to learn as much as I can about dd/lg. The daddy I have isn't workin with me. I asked him after a few months of us talkin. I wanted him to learn how to be a proper daddy. I have to give hints I want his attention or affection more & more lately. When I came out to tell him, it's like he's ignoring my questions. I don't even do a quarter of the things I see other littles & daddies do. What should I do?

It can be difficult sometimes when we are blindly following our heart instead of our mind.

A person can have a lot of great qualities, they can be attractive… make us feel good… have a great personality. But that doesnt mean they are cut out to love us.

Ask yourself… why am I really wanting to be with this person?

Is it because they are or can fulfill my needs?

Is it because they make me feel good about myself?

Is it because they are attractive and send great pictures of themselves to me?

One of the absolute first things I always used to do with a new sub/little when I had them standing in position in front of me the first time was simply ask… “Why?”

Why are you here… right now.. in this moment? Why have you chosen to submit to me? Why have you decided I deserve this great honor and gift of your submission? and have you even asked yourself… why?

A sub once told me that one of my best qualities wasnt in how hard I could spank, or the looks I gave, or even my voice… it was that I was constantly making her think.

A daddy should be growing you… bringing you into a better place each day. Focusing on your needs and wants.. giving them the attention they deserve.. and building you up. 

Ask yourself…. Why? Why do I want this person? Why them? and if the answers you give yourself back dont begin with positive growth within your mind, emotions, mental state and overall well being first…. then you need to consider moving on.

All too often we get lost in the focus of the aesthetic.. of being lonely… of being desperate… of just wanting someone there… of compromising our  own limits, needs, wants, etc just feel any kind of love we can get our hands on… and ultimately that leaves us worse than we were before. 

Its okay to be alone.

Its okay to wait.

Its okay to have goals and standards and morals and wants and needs and desires that are selfish to you…. because its certainly ok for you to stand your ground to get what you actually deserve and not settle for less.

A real man.. a real daddy… hes going to fill all of those things for you without frustration, laziness, or apathy.

you want him so badly to be something hes not becoming… and nothing but himself is going to change that. will you still be happy with this a month from now?

I would love to dispose of my offerings outside, but I can’t unless they are liquid libations (sometimes even then). What that means is that when they come off the altar, I am forced to throw them away. I know I’m not the only one, so, if you’re interested, here’s how I deal with it. I devised a small prayer, and I take a moment to hold the offering and say it before it’s thrown away.

“With respect this [offering] was given to [god], and with that same respect I dispose of it to make room for more offerings in his/her/their name.”

I think this can be adapted to a lot of different gifts, gods, and situations. “Respect” can be replaced or added to as needed/wanted, etc. etc.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I have a lot of characters in my story and I need a motive for each one of them. One needs money, the other wants power, etc. Do you have anything about motives and goals? Thanks

A short list of motives:

  • Addiction
  • Adventure
  • Anger
  • Atonement
  • Curiosity
  • Diligence
  • Envy
  • Faith
  • Fanaticism
  • Fear
  • Following expectations
  • Freedom
  • Greed
  • Guilt
  • Happiness
  • Health
  • Loss
  • Love
  • Loyalty
  • Lust
  • Maintenance (e.g. maintaining integrity, maintaining the status quo, maintaining a legacy)
  • Money
  • Narcissism
  • Power
  • Praise/Popularity
  • Protection (self/others)
  • Redemption
  • Revenge
  • Revolution
  • Seeking somewhere to belong
  • Survival
  • To make a statement

|| for anyone loving Joel Kinnaman’s performance in SS or need/want more pictures etc of him, you should check out the swedish movies Johan Falk where he plays Frank Wagner an infiltrator in a criminal gang. It is swedish yes, but it’s fantastic and his performance is fucking astounding. Beside, he sounds even sexier talking in swedish! gotta support my neighbor country!

Originally posted by sziszko86


Originally posted by olyfantastique


Originally posted by sikanapanele

csick3108  asked:

My players don't role play as much as I'd like, and when they make characters, they focus more on optimization than backstory et al. I realize that people have their own preferences, but I would have more fun and I believe they would have more fun—I know these guys, they're my friends—if I could engage them just slightly more in this area.

One option could be changing the type of game you run. Take out the combat option almost completely for one session and make it so it focuses on puzzles and interacting with each other and other NPCs. One of my friends based their game off of the 7 deadly sins. I remember during one of the parts, it involved a mirror and the players had conversations with themselves. This would be a great way for them to put together a sort of background and/or personality for their character. 

Another option would to tell them a few days before a game to think about a background and how their characters react in different situations. Maybe write up a character background sheet and some interview questions. I would try to do the questions kind of like how Guild Wars 2 does them when you create a new character. Give them a few multiple choice answers and a blank space for them to write their own in. Make sure to tell the players that this is important for the next several games. An example of one of the questions : trouble may follow, but i use my _____ to overcome it.” The choices are charm, dignity, ferocity. This is a really great way to get a very basic and straightforward personality for a character. You could ask follow up questions such as, Why does your character use this? or What happened to your character in his/her past that makes them choose this option more often then the other choices?

You could also do a game without stats, maps, or anything and just have the role-playing aspect. It’s basically the same thing as playing make believe as a child and this type of play falls kind of in the middle of Larping and tabletop gaming.

I think one of the main problems is that they never really know how to role-play their character because they never meet them. You need to encourage them to try to make a well rounded character and make sure you are making their personalities and background really matter to the game. Without their weapons and armor, i think they will find it really hard not to think about how they talk to people, how NPCs respond to them, etc.

There are a lot of character background sheets online that can be helpful and i know there are also character interview sheets as well. I would recommend you make your own and just use them for references. Pick and choose what you think is important for them to know and make sure they are not much longer than a couple pages because you don’t want them to see this as homework or a chore. Make sure you show them how this is going to matter to the game and maybe even do an example one to show them how this will be useful.

Lastly, I suggest sitting down with each of them and reading what they come up with. If it seems like they still don’t have their characters fleshed out a bit, maybe engage them with some scenarios and have them come up with the missing pieces. 

An example of this: Your friends background: “My character grew up on a farm. My character left home because he was mad at his father.” 

Why was he mad at him? Is it because his father wanted him to follow in his footsteps and this did not appeal to him? If so, What did he want to be instead? How did he decide that this was the path he wanted to take? Did he see a bard playing in a nearby town and want to be like him/her? Did a group of soldiers pass by his farm? Did he look at maps when he was younger and want to go see what the places looked like in person?

There are so many things that they can come up with for their characters. I really hope you can get them to come up with backgrounds and figure out their characters needs, wants, likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. If you or anyone has any questions regarding this post or any of the other posts, feel free to message me!

anonymous asked:

I'd like to start off by saying that I am not a kin. Personally, I don't agree with certain kins, but won't get into what my viewpoint is as I don't want to defend my beliefs. Frankly, I am interested in understanding a few things that kins do/experience. So I wanted to ask a few questions. 1) How would you describe the feeling of having astral limbs? 2) How do most people find out they are kin? 3) Is your kinship a different personality? Or is kin and human combined into one personality?

1) Astral limbs can vary from kin to kin. Some feel a “weight” but not an actual limb. Some feel like something should be there but isn’t and the absence is what is noticed. Some feel as though the limb is there and usable but invisible. Like, if I stretch out my arms I feel like there is a thin membranous wing attached to my arm. It’s faint often and not always there. Sometimes it can be very strong. I’m sure there are other ways they could be experienced, but these are the most common.

2) I don’t think there’s a “universal” kin-discovery story except people feeling kinda different based upon their sensations and thoughts and then finding out there’s a word for it. There are definitely stories that I know other therians have that I can recall myself doing or feeling the same, but I don’t know if it’s a common enough thing to be considered universal, especially since for instance my incredible need to dig isn’t going to be shared by a shark therian. Most kin identities develop over time of realizing “other people don’t do this or feel this” and one begins to consider themselves as not quite human due to various reasons. I think there are more universal stories between closely related kintypes, like elves would probably identify with the feelings of hobbits, mermaids, or other somwhat humanoid kintypes compared to animal kintypes.

3) I think by kinship you mean kintype. No, my kintype is me. I am my kintype. it’s not like a furry’s fursona character. (My fursona and I are different in many ways.) There are shifts to a more “animalian” mindset, but I am still me, both human and other.

Hm…. I suppose a good way to explain it is think of a filter for a photograph. You take a photograph and that’s the way a “normal” human perceives the world. But if I take the photo and put a blue overlay on it, it changes the way things look. Some things will pop out, others will fade into the background, colors become more uniform in hue, etc. That’s kinda what it’s like to be an otherkin and go through a shift. Normally, my mind is “human” with tiny bits of animal influence. But during a shift to a more badgery mindset, the filter is applied and my brain perceives things the way a badger would, in terms closer to what a badger understands. Things that a human would be concerned with fade in favor of what a badger is more concerned with. We all experience shifts to a degree; a bad mood applies a filter much the same way a shift does. But we aren’t a different person when in a bad mood; we’re just acting and perceiving things differently from our “normal” mode. Same thing with otherkin. We are our kintypes to some extent in some way and sometimes we experience things more “animalian” than others. The animal is usually there in the background, but the intensity varies. (I know we aren’t all animals but… I can’t think of a better term so I apologize. Words aren’t always my strong suit.)

Now, the above is the standard. Not all otherkin experience shifts. Some otherkin are basically always kind of “set” into a blend of nonhuman and human. For therians, I think this is what contherian is meant to be. (forgive me if I am wrong; I always get the definitions of suntherians and contherians muddled.)

Most kin are both human and nonhuman. We still have human desires, needs, wants, etc. We just have another creature’s mindset mixed in and overlaying the human. Some kin believe themselves to be completely nonhuman, so their experiences would be different from this. I can’t speak for them on how they experience the world as it would differ from individual to individual and kintype by kintype.

Does that make sense?

-Mod badger

anonymous asked:

When would you use 'avoir envie de qch' as opposed to 'vouloir'? Is there a contextual difference?

“Vouloir” is much closer to needing than “Avoir d’envie de”. 

“Avoir envie de” expresses a desire, sometimes a really strong one, but without any actual need. It’s a sweet want, a more or less heavy desire but it’s no harm if you don’t satisfy that desire. For example : 

  • J’ai envie d’une glace. 
  • I want an icecream. 

_________________________________________________

“Vouloir” however expresses a desire in a much much stronger way, that almost imitates the sentiment of a vital need. It suggests that it will cause a severe condition if you don’t satisfy this desire/need. For example :

  • Je veux une glace. 

literally means : I want an icecream.
But in terms of sensations expressed, it truly means :

  • I demand an icecream. 
  • I crave for an icecream. 
  • I need an icecream. 

_________________________________________________

Side note : Since “vouloir” imitates the sensation of needing, the verb “to need” = Avoir besoin de is used to speak about actual vital needs, whether that vital need is implied or not. Hence it isn’t used to speak about “false needs”, such as strong desires. For example :

  • J’ai besoin d’une glace. 
  • I need an icecream, (implied needs >
    > because I’m hot and I truly need something fresh to relieve myself.
    > because I need to eat sugar or I’m gonna faint because my system is low. 
    > because (any health, psychologic, whatever reason as long it’s important).)

I’m mentioning this especially for the native anglophones who use much more often strong words as “need” or “want” to express basic desires out of slang, than we actually do in French because French is generally much toned down compared to English. We generally express our feelings and sensations with a bit more of subtlety.

It’s especially important to have that in mind because it invalidates the literal translations of tons of very common English idioms, such as “I need this”, “I need this in my life”, “omg WANT”, etc. We’d NEVER (or very hardly…) pick “avoir besoin de” to express that kind of fangirling need. “Vouloir” would pass if that’s an extreme need. “Avoir envie de” would be the best, simpliest choice of word - at least to me.  

 

I don’t even care if I lose followers over this.

Stop hating on police officers, guys.

Like, really. YES, there are some bad ones. YES, I am talking about Ferguson and other instances of racial profiling and violence.

But I think we can all agree that the world would be a VERY BAD PLACE without cops.

Because here’s the thing:
Everyone hates cops until they need one.

And there is going to be a time when you need one. If someone tries to break into your house, harasses you, you get in a car accident that needs a mediator, etc.

You want to reform law enforcement? Great. But can we please stop pretending that the world would be better without these people? The people that willingly put themselves in harm’s way for our safety, that deal almost exclusively with bad people that are harming others, children, and animals? And make next to nothing? Yeah. They’re gonna be a little hard and a little bitter, but maybe instead of calling them monsters, we should maybe make outreach programs to ease the stress of their jobs so they don’t get that way??

Just my thoughts. I know 90% of you won’t agree but I was getting fed up with hate on my dash.

"how do you properly react when someone comes out to you?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says: 

I always think being honest is best. BECAUSE YOU GUYS. When people try to act like everything is cool it just makes EVERYONE FEEL SUPER WEIRD. 

Things that people said to me that made me feel weird:
“oh yea, I kinda figured”
“Jesus still loves you, he just doesn’t necessarily love your choices”
“ohhhh is that why you always spent the night with Carly?”
“I don’t care, I know lots of gay people”

Now, some of these were well-meaning, but anytime someone said “I don’t care” it made me kind of sad bc like… I DO CARE. You know? It took all my guts to figure out how/when to say I’M A GAY (or whatever I ended up saying) and then PERSON was so dismissive about it, you know? 

I don’t think you should act fake surprised and I don’t think you should make everything super dramatic and say things like “OH MAN ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY?!!?” I think you be the good friend you are, and be honest. Whether you were expecting it or not, simply saying, “So, if I have questions should I ask or are you not there yet?” can be an AWESOME way to open up the floor and make the conversation more inclusive of your friends feels without making a big statement that might make the whole convo weird. You know? If they’re open to questions, ask if they’ve talked to family, how that went, their thoughts on being out at work, if they’re dating someone, stuff like that so they have the floor to talk about anything and feel totally supported and comfortable!

Kristin Says:

Agree, agree, agree.

Also, I am sorry to break it to you, but 8 out of 10 coming-out moments are totally awkward. IT’S JUST THE WAY THINGS ARE. Unless the coming-out moment is part of a larger conversation, ie: “Oh my ex-girlfriend used to LOVE One Direction,” there is really no way to react that will make the conversation seem like your everyday exchange (btw in that exchange you obviously reply, ‘omg who’s your favorite member?!’).

Coming out has a tendency to be awkward, because not many everyday exchanges include announcing our identity categories. “HELLO LISA, I AM DOMINICAN, JUST SO YOU KNOW.” “HELLO TODD, I AM A COMPETITIVE SWIMMER. DIDN’T WANT TO KEEP ANYTHING FROM YOU.” “HELLO MOM, FYI I PREFER TO WEAR BOXER BRIEFS.”

If the coming-out moment is an announcement (as many are) rather then part of a larger conversation, then what I recommend is to say, “Thanks for sharing that with me. I know coming out is a big deal for some people, and for others its really easy… but whatever it was for you, I just want you to know I care about you and I appreciate you trusting me enough to share a part of yourself. Also, so long as this doesn’t affect your affinity for pizza, do you want to go to the dining hall with me?”

Then, you’ve not only said, “I care about you,” but you’ve acknowledged the moment as important, AND you’ve given them the opportunity to just grab some pizza and move along if that’s what they need/want/etc. On the way to pizza-town you can then follow up with, “Also, if you ever want to talk more about anything I am all ears." 

Blam. Boom. Best friend award goes to YOU.
Thank you and good day.

I’m so tired of these POTs wanna be so fucking blunt about their needs and wants and etc but soon as you talk bout yours they catch an attitude like tf you think my sexy ass is going sleep with you and be around your ass in public and not get funded hahaha go back to your sexless marriage 💁💁💁