(idek i wanted to make a thing)

how do you silence the voice in your head that tells you you’re a talentless hack and everything you write is garbage asking for a friend

i need a famous ship where they’re both insanely busy with album recordings & red carpets & tours & they’re trying to make this whole long distance relationship work but with the time differences & going months without seeing each other it’s difficult, not to mention all the rumors & shit. but then there’s all the cute things like showing up on tour to surprise each other & going to award shows together & just finally seeing each other again after going so long with only facetime dates, missed calls, & late night texts to get them by. honestly idek where i’m going with this i just know that i really want it ??? but like this or message me & we can figure everything out k cool

okay but can we talk about how much even loves birthdays?? like he goes full out, baking a cake, organizing a party with loved ones, wanting to make the birthday kid feel as special as possible. so naturally, even wants to do all these things for isak and he’s already baking the cake, flour on his hands and face, when isak comes in and tells him that “you really don’t have to do this, even” and he tries to sound stern but completely fails because maybe this is exactly what he wants. even knows by now that isak likes to be cared for and he can protest how much he wants, even knows that deep down isak is insanely greatful. so even shakes his head, tells him that he wants to do this for him, and then turns his back to him, continuing with the cake. he can hear isak sigh softly and then isak is out of the kitchen, leaving him to himself. and the next day even is up before isak and making breakfast for him. when he’s all ready, he brings it to their bed and wakes isak up by peppering kisses all over his face and although isak makes a disgruntled sound at first, even can definitely feel his smile. he lets go of him with one last kiss to his lips and then grins at him widely, announcing that he’s made breakfast for the birthday boy and isak tells him again that he didn’t have to do this and even just smiles, shakes his head, and then urges isak on to just eat it. after breakfast isak goes to school (even teases him about how he’s already /graduated/ by now) and once he’s there, he suddenly gets a text from even with the longest, cheesiest birthday message he’s ever read. and isak texts back “that’s cute but like you already wished me a happy birthday?” and evens like “i know but i can never say it often enough because today 18 years ago my favorite human was born and we need to celebrate that” isak only texts back a red heart but he can’t keep off his smile of his face for the rest of the school day. when isak comes back from school, they’re watching isak’s favorite movie (“isak, im only watching this because i love you and it’s your birthday”) (isak knew this was his chance). soon they’re cuddled up and forget about the time until the doorbell rings and oh right, they invited people over. it’s not only isak and even that exist in this universe. and they’re having a party with all their loved ones and a great time and even loves seeing isak smile during the whole thing. it makes him so happy his boyfriend is happy and having fun. later that night when they fall into their bed together, isak snuggles up against even, giving him a few nose rubs before saying “thank you for today. i know i told you you didn’t have to do this but it was the best birthday i’ve ever had. so thank you” and that’s all what even had wanted, to make isak feel good, special, loved and cared for. he’s happy he’s achieved that, a little proud of himself, as he tells isak with a soft smile on his lips “of course” he gives him one last kiss before they drift off into sleep in each other’s arms 💕

New York // Part 2

omg it took me ages to write this and idek why. it’s not the best, it’s actually really short and the reason why it’s like that is because i felt like i was dragging it out tooooooooo long and that just makes stuff not enjoyable. i’m sorry i took ages and it’s not even up to standards smh but i really wanted to give you guys somet!! if you have any ideas regarding what i should write about next, preferably not something that i will take ages to write lmao, then please leave them in the message box thing. ummmm, not much else to say so i hope you’s kinda like it? you don’t have to, you can tell me if it’s shite lmao. also i’m really sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, i didn’t proof read bc i wanted it out for you lads as soon as i could! OH ONE MORE QUESTION. do you’s prefer longer or shorter one shots? just so when it comes to writing them i have an idea of what to include and stuff. 
lotta love, xoxo -b

part 1 if you haven’t read it yet here 💗

I was in the shower for probably at least 45 minutes after I woke up from the longest nap ever. It wasn’t my intention to stay in bed until 6 pm however I couldn’t do anything about it. I was tired and although I knew that it didn’t help my jetlag at all I just slept anyway.

Once I was out of the shower, dry and feeling comfortable in my pair of black leggings and baggy shirt I laid back down on the bed. My phone was charging which confused me for a minute because I didn’t remember putting it on the bed side table or even taking it out of my pocket. Then I suddenly realised that it must have been Harry who put me to bed properly and sorted my stuff out as well.

Sighing, I took my phone off of the charger and pressed the middle button which caused the screen to light up. As I scrolled down on the locked screen I saw a whole lot of messages from my mum, my dad, and my mates and if I saw correctly even Harry’s name popped up as well.

I didn’t pay much attention to them because as soon as I unlocked my phone I somehow instantly forgot about the messages. After I finished my daily routine of going through all of my social media accounts which mainly consisted of Instagram and Twitter I decided it was time to show my face. And to be honest, I was rather bored as well. Not to mention my hunger which didn’t seem to fade.

Although when I got downstairs I found myself on my own, it was as if I was the only one living here. I didn’t know where Harry was though he probably told me about it in his text which I never read. Oh well – I thought as I made my way towards the kitchen and opened up the fridge door. It was full of food.

But it was full of healthy food.

Then I found some chocolate yogurt and a smile creeped its way onto my lips. I took it out of the fridge without any hesitation, taking a spoon out of the drawers as well then sat down on the bar stool chairs. My eyes were probably shining like the stars on a night sky while my mouth was watering but just as I was about to eat the first spoonful of desert, Harry stumbled in the house.

First I thought he was drunk or something but then I saw the bags in his hands. His sunglasses were low on his nose, it was about to fall off actually, his shirt was wide open on his chest and his jeans were hanging down on his waist as well.

Basically, he was a mess.  

I raised my eyebrows as I put the spoon in my mouth and ate what was on it, not minding one bit that he just came back. He didn’t seem bothered and he sure as hell wasn’t expecting me to actually get up because he knew me too well.

“Are you still hungry?” he asked me a few minutes later when I had finished my yogurt. He was still putting the things he bought away and right up until the question slipped past his lips, we were both extremely quiet.

Maybe a bit too quiet.

“Umm,” I muttered as I turned around with my chair, leaning back on the counter with my elbows. “Depends what you bought.”

“Just some stuff,” he shrugged then when he turned around he looked at me with a questioning look on his face. Arching my brow, which seemed to be the only facial expression I’ve shown since I woke up, I waited for him to carry on but instead he just looked away while messing with the shopping bags.

“Why are you being so awkward?” I asked him finally, a laugh escaping my lips although I didn’t find the situation funny.

“I’m not being awkward. I don’t know what you’re on about,” he scoffed. “The jetlag must be hitting you and your little nap probably didn’t help you.”

“Are you seriously gonna be acting like a dick to me because I was moody on the way back from the airport?” my voice got stronger and louder as I stayed sat down. I tried not to let my emotions show on my face but I totally failed. I always did so I wasn’t surprised. “I’m so sorry I was tired, hungry and stressed.”

“Well, I was tired, hungry and stressed as well yet I put a smile on my face because I finally got to see you after ages.”

“I’m sorry you felt like that, okay? And I didn’t ask you to force a smile on your face, hell, I-, I don’t even know-, gosh, do we really have to argue?”

“I’m not arguing-,”

“Well then shut your mouth and give me a hug. You didn’t hug me since that awkward one at the airport where everyone was looking.”

A sigh left his mouth as he looked to the side. I saw as he swallowed then shut his eyes and let another sigh out before he concentrated on me with his eyes again.

“Okay, don’t give me a hug then, that’s fine too,” I gave up as I slipped off of the chair. I chucked the spoon in the sink then did the same to the empty yogurt box.

“Baby, look-,” he started to talk as I was about to leave the kitchen but his voice stopped me. I didn’t turn around, hoping he’d carry on with what he wanted to say but the room was dead silent.  

“Do you want me to stay here at all or should I just get my shit and leave?”

“Listen, I’m sorry-,”


“I am, I just-, I’m stressed, and I don’t know where my head’s at. I have my first solo performance in like hours, well, tomorrow night, but still. I’m nervous as hell and it didn’t help that I made you so angry when we were in the car.”

“I know you’re stressed and I know how it feels to be like that. You feel like you’re lost as if there’s no way out and you’re just stuck in one place. You don’t know what to do to get over yourself and your problems until you have a big crying session or talk it out with someone. So I don’t think it helps that you’re so distant, and that you made me so angry? When? You were being nice to me and I just flipped because I was not in the mood. You did nothing wrong.”

“Well, then why do I feel like I upset you? You said I was being awkward then I was acting like a dick towards you just now. What am I supposed to think?” his voice was desperate and lost, my heart suddenly started to ache for him and my actions spoke louder than my words could.

As I walked back to him I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, making sure I did my best to collect all of his pieces that were not stuck together to make him his perfect self. I absolutely hated seeing him in a bad shape and no matter what he did or did not do I couldn’t just stand there and let him be.

Which might not be always beneficial and it may make me look absolutely weak when it comes to him I had to accept it.

Almost right as I hugged him, his arms wrapped around my neck and his head rested on top of mine, making sure our bodies basically moulded into one.

“I love you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” he whispered into my hair, his soft voice full of emotions making my heart beat faster and goose bumps arise on my arms.

“I love you and please don’t say that. You’re not a mess.”

“I am a mess though and you know it too,” he sighed as he slightly pulled away, shoving one of his hands through this short hair.

“Well then in that case, you are my mess,” I winked at him as I got on the tip of my toes to press a light kiss on his lips.

He smiled which made me smile and I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around his neck this time and jump into his arms. Thankfully, he held on to me so I didn’t fall, a soft chuckle leaving his irresistible lips while his eyes were shining brighter than anything I have ever seen before.

“I’m sorry about my attitude before,” I told him as I hid my face in the crook of his neck. My grip was tight on him, my fingers formed into a fist as I locked my arms around Harry’s neck.

“Don’t worry about it, love,” he said and he suddenly started to walk out of the kitchen.

We didn’t go far, just to the couch in the living room where he sat down with me in his arms then I ended up sitting on his lap with my legs on each side of his waist.

“So you’ll come and see me, right?” he asked me a few minutes after he was just staring at me but not in a creepy way. He did that sometimes and I didn’t mind it because I knew he gave me his full attention and I loved it.

Now that might have sounded uptight and kind of selfish, it was the truth plus I didn’t mean it in that sense.

“Yes,” I said right away. “I mean if you want me to, it’s up to you.”

“I want you to,” he nodded. “Actually, I need you to come with me,” he laughed. “M’gonna be doing these skits and I need you to be there not to mention I’m performing a new song.”

“Which one?” I asked him curiously. I haven’t exactly heard his full album yet only because I told him I want it to be a surprise.

He actually really wanted me to listen to it then after I told him I wanted to wait for the actual release date he kinda got onto my idea. Of course he showed me snippets here and there because he knew how curious I was all of the time but I’m also way too stubborn so I wouldn’t just ask him to show me stuff.

“The only one you heard. Apart from Sign of the Times.”

“Ever Since New York?” I asked again just to make sure I was thinking about the right one.

I knew of the titles of the songs but I didn’t listen to them.

“Yeah,” a small smile made its way onto his lips. I couldn’t help myself as I leaned forward and pressed my mouth against his in a soft peck, his right hand came in contact with my cheek as he rested it on my face while our lips were touching. “I’m very happy you are here.”

“I’m very happy to be here.”

“Good,” he chuckled. “I missed having you around.”

“I bet you did,” I joked which to he raised one of his eyebrows and pouted at the same time. “I think I missed you too.”

“What do you mean you think? Aren’t you supposed to know that?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

“Um, yes?”

“Well, I don’t,” I shrugged as I kept on messing around with him and eventually got off his lap.

My legs were still on his thighs but I was sitting on the couch, right next to him. He took advantage of this position as he leaned into me, resting his head on my shoulder and placing his hands on my legs. They were warm and big and it made the butterflies in my stomach come to live as he rested his hands on my thighs. He just had that effect on me and it was lovely really.

“I’m just messing with you, I missed you more than you’ll ever know,” I said suddenly as I hugged his bicep tightly and pressed a few kisses on his chin as his head was still leaning on my shoulder.

i dont usually make text posts

but i want to give you guys a heads up that i’m taking a break from FF for a bit. ill still be making it here and there, it just wont be the primary focus. its nothing personal or anything of the sort, in fact i love everyone here so much and im surprised such a positive and supportive fans come out of such..,.,
f i l t h. basically, id like to make other things too, and i have a bunch of other projects im excited to share with u guys and i just want to give you the headsup before everyone is like BRING BACK JOJIVLOGS. so yeah, ill still be making some ff and cc comics and things,, just with a lot of other works as well,, thats all. so yee,, ty guys for literally everything, and im excited for the future !!

much love♡

damn I really love languages?? They’re so weird and imperfect and sometimes the rules make you want to s c r e a m but they’re also really fascinating like who thought welsh mutations were a good idea or spanish’s goddamn subjunctive tense/mood/mode/idek or like the entirety of the english language lol And every language is so much its own thing… and when you learn it, it’s like DAMN I am speaking the product of millions of people slowly shifting and manipulating this construct over years and years I guess it’s just really crazy how many people it takes to build a language and how the process never really stops

when the shadowhunters cast is hot but you also really love their personality and its a whole mess;

matthew daddario is the kind of hot that has you shaking your head because hes such a dork and inside youre like dear god i cant fucking believe ive fallen for such a dad like hes literally chasing birds calling himself the bird king mATTHEW and yet he’s the perfect aesthetic of a hot man

Harry shum Jr. is the kind of hot that has you ripping out your hair because quite frankly no one should be allowed to dance like that and have that kind of body???! and on top of it he is a precious bean. he is so generous and his laugh is better than all of us

dom is the kind of hot that is like unbearable and youre like lord have mercy of fucking course he has two different coloured eyes and then two seconds later hes playing with a dog and singing songs and youre crying because what kind of goals

alberto is the kind of hot that you kind of stare at from afar because youre like how can someone so pure exist in a body like that what did i do to deserve this kind of pain and maybe youre sobbing a little when you watch him on tv because he is probably the embodiment of an angel i swear to god hes so nice look at him

david castro is the kind of hot where youre like kicking a wall because buddy??? did we ask?? the answer is no we did not so put on a shirt for the love of god but also please dont and keep uploading videos and never stop lauGHING because its fantastic and hes so humble why

isaiah is literally the kind of hot that makes me want to throw myself into a river like he smiles and youre like oh look lmao its the fucking sun parting the clouds what the fCUK and his eyes are so kind just like his soul and youre like dying because all you want is a peaceful life

emeraude toubia is the kind of hot that makes me want to tear out my eyeballs because listen first off she is An Actual Goddess and she laughs like puppies (is that a thing) and she is so grateful for her life!! i cry because i want her hair to like strangle me idek who i am anymore she changed my life

katherine is the kind of hot that youre literally sobbing over because she looks like a doll????? my mom my princess my angelic little sunflower she is so pure i have never seen anything as pure as her she is a cat, she is a pup, she is a bunny rabbit also her gIGGLE I WANT TO die anyway she raised me

anonymous asked:

Omg. like I do think that they prolly are just rlly good friends (perhaps even have unresolved feelings/tension for e/o) but there are just SO MANY IRON-CLAD moments that are just too ??? which makes me believe that they have yet to be exclusive but they are aware of where they want their relationship to head towards(?) Something like "not together YET but we're TOGETHER so EVERYONE, BACK OFF" IDEK AT THIS POINT TBH. Like that Billboard vlive. JK getting triggered by JM/NJ and JM consoling JK.

I agree with you honestly. Like i have about 2980 theories on jikook, but this one seems super plausible. There’s just so many things that hint to just slight romantic feelings, whether they are officially dating, or just flirt, maybe their friends with benefits?? idk, all ik is that jikook seem to have so many suspicious and weird things that go on and hint towards a more than just friends type relationship. Honestly,,,, i know people tried to disprove the whole “jungkook reacted to jin saying jimin would go shirtless” but i honestly think that’s what happened?? Like…. jin looked directly at jk while he said that, and then jk reacted all defensive and was all “what are you talking about?” and all the members were looking at jk while jin said that like ??? what else could that have meant?? idk, all i know is in 20 years when jikook are celebrating their 9th wedding anniversary and you guys can catch me still freaking out about them and telling all the antis that i told them so. 

anonymous asked:

I don't understand why it's such a bad thing to worry about the state of Zayns career right now. He's more known now for following Gigi around and being a model rather than a critically acclaimed singer. Ha**ys single is going to to debut at number 1 meanwhile Zayns second album debut isn't even in the top 50s. He's not even doing anything. He released a damn song but would rather dye his hair and get tattoos than do promo that could make this song the hit could be. Why shouldn't I be worried?

It’s like you saw my post, read it, read it again, and looked over literally every single goddamn point. Why shouldn’t you worry? Maybe because it’s not your goddamn career to worry about? Did you every think about that? Zayn is not you, he is not your other fave, he is not his ex bandmates, he is not some other celebrity, he is Zayn Javadd Malik and he doesn’t need to be anyone else. If Zayn seemed unhappy and upset about his career then maybe I’d be a little concerned too but he has said more than once that he is happy. He is in a good place. HE. IS. FINE. Zayn and his team know what they’re doing with an artist like Zayn. They don’t manage him like other artists because he’s not other artists. He’s ZAYN. God why can’t he be happy? So what SGT was #66? He has TWO whole hits under his belt and is becoming more respected in the music industry as an artist AND getting respected as a huge influence in the fashion world and in both of those industries more people who actually matter fall more and more in love with him every day. Just because you google his name and stop at the first tabloid doesn’t mean that Zayns career revolves around Gigi. If that’s how you wanna feel then feel that way but do not strip him of all he has achieved without her. Going places and doing things with his Gf doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about his career.he was literally in the studio until 5 am just the other week and still woke up and got to his interview early because he enjoys himself and where he is at right now. Let him enjoy himself and just fucking be there to support him if you really like him. God idek how Gigi got brought into this. I swear y'all are the only ones who start making shit about her then the media follows suit and you fucking wonder why. And also, newsflash!™ Zayn can do and enjoy other things besides music. Him doing fashion and other things while he’s not releasing music is not only very common but also hella smart! It’s not like he’s being forced to do this. He’s said multiple times that he loves and wants to get involved in fashion. He’s said time and time again that music is his passion and that he fell back in love with it why the fuck won’t you guys just fucking pay a single second of attention to the things he says and shows? And also this is his fucking life and he doesn’t live it to please you or me or anyone else besides himself and the entitlement entrenched in this fandom about Zayns career and his personal life is fucking gross and disgusting. He can do what he wants. We have this motherfucking conversation every good goddamn month when he does or even doesn’t do literally anything. And fuck you for saying “he’s not doing anything” he’s recording a damn MUSIC video, He’s working on his second album, he working on hi capsule collection, and an abundance of things we have no clue about. Just because he doesn’t tweet it or Instagram or doesn’t mean he’s not working I swear y'all will never get this concept. God. You know if fans knew how to worry and still be supportive and not over dramatic and act like his career is over every single time something doesn’t go the way they want it to, then this wouldn’t be a damn issue. But y'all don’t know how to do that. Most of y'all don’t even care about anything else than seeing his face for you to jack off to or to make up scenarios that he’s going to meet your other fave. Anyways, fuck off anon. And fuck off to anyone who actually does and thinks shit like this. We’ve been having this fuck ass conversation since March 25, 2016 now and you’d think y'all would learn (or listen to Zayns own words) by now that Zayn isn’t going to do the vast “promo” you nut over.

anonymous asked:

If you had to pick the scenes that you think show off Ryan's acting talent the best which would you choose?

omg honestly anon what a question

(also i wanted to say all of them but seriously okay;

the abuse reveal scenes and some of the subsequent events surrounding that are so hard-hitting. those moments on the sofa, when robert’s reacting to aaron are just so subtle and pack a punch. (i’d also say the first court scene where robert reacts to aaron’s confession dalsjhfja)

chicken 2.0 with andy; honestly, ryan slays that road side scene. the way he says you killed mum and reacts to andy in general? the emotion in his voice, in the way he acts. then the way you can literally see his numbness with vic & adam right after? yeah okay here for that

the goodbye scene with andy. you can literally see the twenty odd years of battling between them condense down to i love you underneath and a long way under djsakdka ryan sold me 100% on the conflict within robert about andy; the brother he never asked for but loves anyway, the brother who was always what he wished he could be but never was, the brother he hates and loves in equal measure. 

SSW. need i say more? yes? ok. robert’s coming out scene is a GREAT showcase of ryan’s talent. i buy his conflict, his inner hatred, the reluctance he has to admit anything person to anyone (but especially aaron, the person he’s trying to keep with him). i’ve seen people say they wish he would have cried in the scene but i think ryan played it right; robert’s not a crier. i’m sorry, he’s just not. his despair and hurt are etched on his face and that’s where ryan played them. everything played out in his expressions, his inability to look aaron in the eye (when he’s revealing the hard hitting stuff? he never looks at aaron. his eyes flicker a couple of times but he doesn’t make eye contact until he tells aaron he wants to be himself with aaron.) it’s so heartbreaking that this is something personal to him, something he’s been struggling with for decades, something that’s shaped the person he is and the things he’s done - and he can’t bear to look at aaron. perhaps because he’s terrified aaron won’t believe him? or that he won’t like what he sees? idek but jesus do i buy robert’s pain and his inability to share anything remotely personal)

and the kicker (personally for me); aaron going to prison. ryan throughout that entire arc (up to the incident) was amazing? and even post incident? he’s just been phenomenal. the goodbye scene? haha bye. the subtlety to robert’s heartache and despair at losing aaron in general? i can’t handle it. 

a rebloggable and moblie friendly masterlist that contains all of my own work in relation to 5 seconds of summer. hope you enjoy! ♡.

i update this every time i post a new writing piece or au meme or anything else for that matter 

Order: Oldest at the top. Newest at the bottom.


ashton irwin:

1. He plays Tate Langdon {American Horror Story: Murder House}

2. A date night resulting in him telling you how much he loves you

3. When his friends confess his undying love to you for him

luke hemmings:

1. He plays Landon Carter {A Walk To Remember}

2. Punk!Luke is your guardian angel with a shotgun

3. You had a blank space and you wrote his name

4. One drunk “mistake” leads to him telling you that he loves you

michael clifford:

1. He plays Patrick Verona {10 Things I Hate About You}

2. He misses his sunshine; you

3. You are Banksy and he has no idea until one very late night

4. Dating in secret is harder than you thought || pt. 2

5. Sometimes he thinks a ‘no’ means ‘try again’ but he will always make you laugh

calum hood:

1. He plays Seth Cohen {The O.C}

2. A best friend love story comes true for the both of you

3. College!Calum has a thing for you though he has a weird way of showing it


ashton irwin:

1. Talking on the roof was a tradition that makes him wonder why you never tried

2. “There is nothing more i want to do than to smash my lips against yours sexually, but like whatevers.”

luke hemmings:

1. Love for a woman of colour [technically no specific boy but i was thinking about luke]

2. “ It’s been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away”

michael clifford:

1. Proposing to the love of your life is daunting, but not when you have your best mates to help you out

2. What would dating michael be like [blurb? preference? idek]

3. “You’re doing that thing again”

calum hood:

1. What would dating calum be like

2. “Wait so i talked to you more than him?”

I just wanna thank all the people who are talking about Hansol and who are trying to send uplifting messages to him although they aren’t ToppDogg fans.

The kpop fandom loves fighting among each other and shitting on each other but if serious things go on apparently people can forget all of this and support each other.

So thank you. Thank you for showing your human side and being there for someone although it’s not about your fandom/your favorite idol.


Something in me DIED at Peleliu. Perhaps it was the childish  i n n o c e n c e  that accepted as faith the claim that Man is basically good. Possibly I  LOST  faith that politicians in high places, who do NOT have to endure war’s savagery, will ever stop blundering and sending others to endure IT 

John Mulaney: Comeback Kid Starters

❝ You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. ❞

❝ Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. ❞

❝ Jesus Christ! What, were you two in the Eagles together? ❞

❝ What is the animosity about? ❞

❝ My vibe is more like, ‘Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.' ❞

❝ You will die on August 7th, 2037. ❞

❝ That’s pretty good. ❞

❝ Huh! It needs a belt. ❞

❝ Don’t get me wrong, my parents loved us. They just didn’t like us. ❞

❝ We were'nt friends. ❞

❝ My mom’s my best friend. ❞

❝ Oh, is she a super bad mom? ❞

❝ Somtimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all. ❞

❝ Don’t snitch, motherfuckah! ❞

❝ Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs. ❞

❝ If you eat enough ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❞

❝ Here’s an on fire garbage can…could be a nursery. ❞

❝ Oh we have to go!! We have to go see ________ ! ❞

❝ Why? It’s not like he/she’s gonna remember you. ❞

❝ The other shoe has dropped. ❞

❝ Can I walk you home? ❞

❝ Can you imagine watching one of the people you went to school with becoming the president? ❞

❝ You can do everything you want forever. ❞

❝ So my dad pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered a black coffee. The one thing no kid can every enjoy ❞

❝ Because he never forgets a bitch ever! ❞

❝ Are you going to talk the entire time? ❞

❝ Black coffee. Same motherfucker. ❞

❝ I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian. ❞

❝ And also with you. ❞


❝ Marriage is going to be fun ❞

❝ Can my girlfriend come? ❞  

❝ I am the king and I can eat first whenever I want! –As long as it fits the schedule of a dog… ❞

nikki-f-jones  asked:

Ok I'm so sorry but could you do something like pastel!dan wearing a short skirt with nothing underneath and teasing the fuck out of phil, bending over and wiggling his hips constantly? Thanks

yes yes yes bless u this is why i was born

soz idek if this is good but i hope you like 

(i could do a second part if youd like ??? idk i just didnt want to make it too long but i would definitely write more also i added a daddy kink im soRRy)

565 words <3

Phil had to remind himself why he bought Dan things when they were just used against him.

Ever since Phil had given him that god damn skirt Dan had been practically skipping around the house, swaying his hips and giggling whenever he got anywhere near to where Phil could see him.

And the worst part was, Dan was wearing nothing under it.

He had changed into an over sized pastel blue jumper that displayed his pretty (hickey covered) collarbones that went well with the short white tennis skirt, and lacy blue thigh highs.

The whole outfit was infuriating, and was turning Phil on beyond belief.

Phil watched from the couch as Dan passed him again, skipping up to him and pulling his sleeves over his hands and to his mouth, showing off his black nails.

“Hi daddy,” he muttered, smiling softly, making his dimples pop. Phil sighed.

“Baby, when I got you that skirt, I didn’t think you’d be using it against me.” Phil raised his eyebrows.

Dan giggled, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. “What do you mean, daddy? Am I bothering you?”

Phil grunted, pressing his lips together.

“Quit playing innocent, Dan. You know what you’re doing to me.”

“Hm?” Dan raised an eyebrow, and Phil could see a hint of a smirk stretch on his pink lips. “And what’s that? Don’t you like it?”

“Mmh, maybe a little too much.”

“C'mon daddy, isn’t it pretty on me?” Dan spun around, the skirt flying up and exposing his pale skin again. Damn it. “It is a lil short though…” Dan commented, straight up bending over in front of Phil touching his toes and giggling again.

Phil gave up, grabbing Dan by the hips and pulling him onto his lap smoothly, making the boy squeak in surprise. Phil tangled his fingers in his boyfriends hair, tugging his head back roughly, exposing the smooth pale skin of his neck.

“Who do you think you are, teasing me like that, Daniel? You’re such a slut, aren’t you, kitten?”

Dan whimpered, but Phil knew he was enjoying every second of this. “Yes, daddy.”

Phil let go of his hand, gliding his hands down Dan’s sides to his hips, groaning when Dan began to grind back on him. Phil bit down on his neck, making him moan softly.

“Baby, I think you’re supposed to wear something under the skirt,” Phil muttered, running his fingers over Dan’s thighs and dipping them under the hem of the white fabric. Dan let out a shuddery breath.

“I know, daddy,” he breathed. “But I thought maybe you would like it better if I didn’t.”

Dan rolled his hips again, sending a wave of pleasure through Phil, making him even harder if that was possible.

In one smooth movement Phil lifted him, spinning him around so Dan was straddling him. He slid his hands down Dan’s lower back, squeezing his ass tight enough to leave marks and kissing him open mouthed. Dan kissed back hotly, whining into his mouth and grinding down on him.

“You’re such an angel,” Phil muttered against his mouth, and he felt Dan smile.

“Thank you, daddy.”

“-but I’m going to have to punish you, kitten. I can’t have you thinking you can get away with this, hm?”

Dan nodded, pushing the side of his mouth up to make that dimple show. “Yes, daddy. I understand.”

“Good boy.”