(i-kind-of-winged-it-but-it-turned-out-well)

So for the J3 op… I decided to do something very personally meaningful to me. After the idea, I emailed Chris and asked if this would be okay. He said yes and actually printed out the photo I wanted to use in my photo op with J3.

I get in line for J3 with specific instructions to go last or as close to last as possible. The volunteers were surprisingly helpful this time. While hanging out at end of line, I met Lynn (author of Fangasm) and she saw that I was nervous. Told her I don’t normally get nervous but because this was a “memorial tribute” to my mother, she understood why I was nervous. So she kind of took me under her wing and asked if I would be more comfortable if she introduced me to the boys. I said “sure” since the boys know her pretty well.

It’s my turn. We walk up and I’m so nervous that I’m barely looking up. I hear Lynn tell the boys who I am and Jensen jokes “Oh, that’s nice of you to introduce her. She’s pretty hardcore shy.” Then I glanced at Jared and Jeff, my mom’s photo grasped tightly in my hands, as I tend to move without knowledge right to Jensen. I took a deep breath, though it didn’t help, and started to explain my op.

“My mom died nearly 10 years ago summer before the pilot aired. The show gave me something to look forward to and help me with my grief. It was a way to distract me from everything.” (Now it came out a lot more choppy but it all came out some how). Then I turned to Jensen and said, “I really gravitated towards Dean because he used to be funny.” Jensen smiled big and Jeff laughed and said to me, “You’re right, he used to be funny. Not so much anymore.” I glanced at Jared and his expression was fully of sympathy. I glanced back at Jeff and asked, “I was hoping we could have my mom in the photo too?” And Jared replied back immediately, “Yes, of course” as Jeff took the picture frame from my hands.

I was so out of it when Jensen said, “Come here, sweetie” and grabbed me into a huge, comforting hug. I had no idea what Jared or Jeff were doing. All I can remember is being engulfed in Jensen’s warm, protective arms and scooting back to get closer to Jared or Jeff when Chris motioned to Jensen to move back a bit.

The photo was taken by Chris: I can’t even remember it being taken. All I can recall is grasping onto Jensen’s shirt as he held me. As I started to back away from him and thank him, he once again pulled me into a protective embrace saying, “Hold on, sweetie, let me give you another hug.” So as I was being embraced by Jensen… I so wasn’t expecting him to brush my hair back and press a kiss against my forehead.

After getting a voluntary kiss from Jensen I am not sure how I functioned. But I thanked Jared and he gave me a really big hug. Then I thanked Jeff and he also pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead as well.

These men are so humble, respectful, and truly care about their fans’ lives. I cannot thank Chris enough for helping make this happen. I feel so relieved that J3 took the time to listen to my story and truly listen and show interest in what I had to say even when I was scared to death as I spoke.

As you can see in the picture I was a nervous wreck and Jensen was pretty much my lifeline during that photo op.

True Love’s Kiss

based on this post.


It’s my fault that he’s here.

Well, maybe it was the dragon’s fault, but I still should have done something about it. Simon was channeling all of his magic into me, practically leaking energy. And I couldn’t control it.

The dragon was taking a huge breath, getting ready to incinerate both of us, and I was really fucking freaked out. So, I kind of just unleashed Simon’s magic and it ended up turning the dragon into a lizard. And throwing Simon into a brick wall. Hard.

So now he’s here, at Watford, in the hospital wing, in a coma. And I can’t even make some snide comment about how he’s drooling because he can’t hear me.

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Our newest incarnation of hawkman & hawkgirl variants- High Seas Hawks! They debuted at Dragon Con 2015 and we were pretty happy with how they turned out. I did the costume design and Josh did the wing design.
 He built the wings, my sword and his helm. I did all the painting, leatherwork (bandoliers, my enormous hat, belts, corset etc), weathering, boot mods, and all the sewing/fabrication on my outfit (except for the shirt which I had from a previous pirate costume). It was my first time working with silk which was a bit of an experience (dyeing the silk for my itty bitty shorts was kind of scary, but it worked out. plus the bloomers turned out real cute).  Also only my second time making an enormous leather hat…I think it turned out rather well (i love big hats, i cannot lie). I will probably be tempted to make more really big leather hats in the future (i keep eyeing Cole’s hat from DAI…but i do not really want to do full cole cosplay…who wants to commission a big hat?)

They were also pretty well received and it was awesome that we got to do this photoshoot with Kyle Nishioka!

characters: High Seas Hawkman & Hawkgirl
cosplayers/costumers: Josh Phelan & Tori McKenna (me!), Cool By Proxy Productions
photo taken by: Kyle Nishioka, kylenishioka.com/