(i'm very sorry)

*trigger warning*

I know this is a serious matter, but I honesty don’t want to here anymore. It seems that my life is honestly falling apart. And yes, I know people have it a lot harder than me, but this year for some reason has had a huge negative effect on me. My depression has gotten a lot worse and everyday I seem to cry. My leg isn’t making anything fucking better because I can’t move it. My friends don’t trust me or believe anything I say. I don’t have the motivation to go to school or anywhere for that matter. I just feel nothing now. I’m like numb. I just don’t what to be here anymore. I know some people on here may think that I just want attention and more notes but THAT IS FAR FROM WRONG. I’ve been having this problem for almost two years. My mom called a consular and is having me go this Thursday, but I don’t want to pour my feelings to a stranger.

I just don’t want to be here anymore.

I may take off for a few days. I may not. I probably won’t because this is all I have good going for me. My rant is done. I’m sorry for stopping y'all going through your dash. Thank you for reading if you read.

Phone call with my parents just now:

Mom: So Dad’s been looking at real estate in Pittsburgh, he wants to help you buy and fix up a house! What do you think about that?

[insert discussion about Responsible Adult Things like owning real estate]

Mom: So what’s going on with you?

Me: I…just spent a large amount of money on plane tickets to visit Finland and Germany this summer. *sweats*

anonymous asked:

hey cassie!! kinda weird question but even tho gay couples are some of the purest, most precious things in the world, do you have any pet peeves about how they are portrayed in tv shows and books? like, for example, I've noticed that most canon gay couples usually starts with them hooking up right after they've met, which sucks bc I love slowburn romances so I usually don't ship the gays that much even tho I love the rep (fyi I'm gay/bi, so don't mistake me for a fetishizing straight, bc ew).

okay so i can’t speak on behalf of mlm but my biggest wlw pet peeve is that, well, we literally don’t exist lmao htgawm couldn’t even bring themselves to say the word bisexual and lesbians are either killed off or/and villainized… and don’t get me started on pansexual wlw bc i’ve literally never seen any rep - not just good or bad - for them and it’s very very upsetting (to say the least). now APART from that (and the whole “bury your gays” trope which is still present in this day and age and it’s disgusting and tiring), i feel like the wlw rep we get (as minimal as it is) is usually super tumblr based and off? like yeah girls are softer and nice and we compare them to greek goddesses and constellations but that’s not?? how?? all wlw relationships are?? at all?? sometimes girls just wanna have sex with girls, sometimes girls even want to FUCK girls without the whole braiding hair sapphic aesthetic the media’s trying to sell. it’s like mlm = SEX! HOT! STEAMY! EVERY STRAIGHT FANGIRL’S DREAM! while wlw = soft! pure! uwu girls would never just wanna fuck and be intimate with each other bc they’re always so vanilla! gal pals! girls just wanna have fun but not if it’s smth representing real life! and it’s such a nasty, toxic way of thinking/image for both sides and it’s doing us more harm than good. we’re not just striving for rep - and yes we’ve learned to be satisfied with crumbs and that’s why we sing hallelujah everytime an author/director so much as insinuates a wlw rep but truth is, it’s damaging. it’s disheartening and cruel and they should hire actual representatives so we can get good rep, instead of fetishization and faux interpretation/portrayal. same with book writers - i’m a firm believer that they should AT LEAST consult with a wlw/mlm (depending on which one they want to cover bc most authors can’t do both, they really can’t) before they so much as open a new word file. lgbt rep shouldn’t be just word vomit bc the author thinks it’s ~trendy~ or ~important~. yes, it IS important - but it also has to be done right.

very-voidy-strider  asked:

Mod DoomedDirk, it's fine that you're angry or sound angry sounding. Literally what the fuck is wrong with people?? just because some copes differently from you. if you can't respect them get the fuck out. - kark

Exactly! Fuck, just. I know so many survivors who keep to their own lanes and try to keep into themselves as much as possible, and usually suffer because of it, because they don’t feel like they’re allowed to cope with things that actually really help them. And then we get self righteous assholes trying to tell survivors how to cope as if survivors haven’t gone through horrible things and should be? Allowed to cope as what helps them most? I would much rather just have to use the blacklist or block people than yell at a survivor to stop coping with x thing because it’s “”bad””. Like yes. Survivors know the thing is bad. They went through it. That is why they are coping with it by viewing the thing in a healthier way so they can come to terms with and accept what happened at their own pace. 

Some people don’t do that. And that’s okay! Everyone works differently. But there are so, so many blogs out there for people who don’t cope like that, and not a lot of blogs who do allow people to cope as they do. Is it really so bad that we allow that? Especially when most if not all of our mods are survivors who, to some degree, use ships and stuff to cope. This is a safe place for them. It would be damn hypocritical of us, I think if we just… didn’t allow it. “Oh no sorry we don’t allow x asks even though we use x to cope”? It’s ridiculous. We can handle these asks. We know what it’s like. If someone wants help with a canon, or if someone wants something they can cope with, then why not.

Why punish survivors when we could be actively helping them in a safer, more controlled environment? Idk it just. Annoys me. We put the warning in the rules to keep people safe, because we know that we can’t appeal to everyone. But people don’t read the rules, and then try to change how we run. No. We won’t. We’re here to help. That also means survivors who cope with their canons or use their canons to cope in different way. 

Coping is so much different than normalizing something or saying “x thing is alright!!!”

- Mod DoomedDirk

Important messages from “Yuri!!! on Ice” to an athlete

1. You don’t have an expiration date. Yuuri is a “late bloomer”, you can be that too.

2. To succeed in your sport, you don’t have to be born with talent - hard work and dedication will bring you far.

3. Rivalry doesn’t exclude the possibility of a friendship.

Originally posted by rirens

4. What works for others might not work for you. You’re an individual and there’s not one correct answer to what will help you improve your athletic performance. Celestino wasn’t the right coach for Yuuri, ballet didn’t work for Otabek.

5. Some days - maybe weeks or months, even - you won’t perform the way you want to and know you can. That’s okay. You’ll figure it out. Everyone falls into a slump sometimes.

6. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you enjoy your sport. It’s supposed to be fun, even though it might seem to be all work and no fun.

7. You don’t have to fight alone . Don’t be afraid to ask for help - it might help you to develop your skills and help you out of a rough patch


Viktor: Not exactly..

answered | ask a question | Don’t repost. Please reblog

Your eyes are like....

Please use your MOON and RISING signs ~

Aries: the first morning of the spring, fire reflecting through, warmth that melts the ice away gently but fast

Taurus: the first flowers of the year, dawn of the day, beauty of the world, relaxed and gentle, hot tea after work, silent but meaningful like forest

Gemini: the curious eyes of child, reflecting the colorful mind, like the morning breeze, little fairies dancing in the rain

Cancer: strong but full of understanding the complexity of empathy, the bright summer nights, reflection in the surface of the lake

Leo: work of art, bright like sun but understanding like moon, midsummer day and celebrating, sparklers in the water

Virgo: warm cup of coffee in the morning, small but strong flowers, the morning rain, shine of the diamonds and purity of first snow

Libra: the first star of the night, window reflecting you, understanding of the person, slowly burning candles on a winter night, cozy fall days

Scorpio: the moon and the stars of the night, coldness of the winter and heat of the summer, passion of the tiger and understanding of the deep sea

Sagittarius: the adventures of the summer, the sparkles of the fire, meant for understanding the life, snow angels and snowball fights

Capricorn: ambition that goes over the sky, the moon and the universe, warmth of a hug on a winter day, stability of a maple

Aquarius: understanding humanity and everything beyond, dancing in the summer rain, galaxies of the universe

Pisces: looking through the rose glasses, where the worlds top secrets are kept, white clouds of the sky, snowflakes falling from the sky