(i mean all the time actually but especially when thinking about it in this context

One maladaptive coping mechanism that turns very toxic when you’re not defending against abuse is to read any uncomfortable situation as a deliberate personal attack, and sometimes extrapolate one incident into a whole pattern of malicious intent.

Examples:

  • “Hey, I have a headache, could you please lower your voice a little?”
    - “FINE I guess I just won’t say anything at all!”

  • “Hey thanks for inviting me, but I’m not feeling well, so I’m sorry but I can’t make it. Maybe (x day) instead?”
    - “Sorry for asking! I guess I’m just too needy for you!”

  • (Someone forgets to call you back.)
    - “Yeah I don’t think we’re friends anymore, she acts like she hates me.”

  • “Hey, what you just said about me was literally not true. Why did you say that?”
    - “Right, I’m just a piece of shit who should never talk at all I guess!”

  • "I don’t really feel like sex tonight.”
    - “Sorry I’m so repulsive to you!”

  • “You really hurt my feelings. Why did you do that?”
    - ”Go ahead and just break up with me, I know you’ve been wanting to.”

This kind of response escalates an interaction from a two-way conversation about a specific problem into a fight about your own self-worth. Instead of reponding to what’s actually happening or interrogating whether an attack was intended, this response immediately changes the conversation into a defensive argument where the only relevant question is if you’re an okay person that people care about.

Like I get feeling this kind of reaction, I get having a knee-jerk response of fear and shame and self-loathing. Sometimes when you’re feeling vulnerable it is very, very difficult not to read super far into anything negative. Sometimes it just reflects off all your internal fears and amplifies inside of you until a polite “no” feels like everyone you’ve ever liked is telling you they hate you.

But it is possible, with some work, to separate your feelings from your actual knowledge of the situation. It’s possible to feel one thing in your heart and still recognize with your mind that the reality is different. You can learn to notice the difference between someone actually attacking you and something just feeling like an attack because you’re extra vulnerable.

You can also learn not to react based solely on your feelings. You can learn to take another person’s actual words and actions into account and respond based on what you think - not just feel - their intent actually was. That work is as necessary as it is difficult.  

People need to be able to tell you things that aren’t overwhelmingly positive without you making them feel guilty for saying anything and treating their concerns as an attack.

Otherwise, you wind up in a position where they can’t be honest with you. They can’t say no to you, can’t tell you when something you do hurts or scares them, can’t point out worrying things as friends do to take care of each other, can’t bring up their own needs without the conversation devolving into comforting you again.

This habit interacts especially badly with the way many other trauma survivors are terrified of upsetting anyone – when your reaction to them bringing up problems or saying no is consistently disproportionate, they may find it easier to just do what you want even against their own will.

It is possible to deal with those awful feelings and get the comfort you need without resorting to lashing out when you feel bad. It’s okay to be honest about the fact your emotions don’t always line up with reality so people know what you’re going through. It’s okay to just ask for the emotional support you need or for confirmation that they mean what they say.

You may even find that when you make a continuous effort not to treat these uncomfortable experiences as crises, they deescalate and you wind up feeling more secure each time.

Look, this coping mechanism, like many forms of manipulation, is a useful survival tool in the context of an abusive relationship where you really are being attacked insidiously, and where you can’t just ask for comfort and expect to get it. But if you are no longer in that kind of situation, it’s time to reevaluate the usefulness/danger ratio and figure out what other strategies might be better for you and the people you love.

Yuri on Ice 2017/02/11 all night event report

I’m back from the event and I’ll write a report before going to sleep, mostly because I’m sure I will not be able to decipher my scribbles when I wake up… It’s not the full talk show since you can’t record it and also I couldn’t possibly write down everything, but I tried to take note of most things, especially stuff that has never been mentioned elsewhere. In the end it became quite long so I guess I was able to get most of the stuff down…

Needless to say it’s my notes, so other people might write about parts I omitted, etc. To be honest quite a few of the things they said especially in the beginning, like what the seiyuu think about their characters, is something I’ve read so many times in interviews that I could almost answer in their place, lol… I was a bit disappointed that one of the questions that was answered is the one about Chris’ mysterious acquaintance, because actually Kubo answered that in Pash already (it’s in the Q&A part I’ll be translating later), and I hoped they would feature questions about stuff that hasn’t been explained yet. Well I guess not everybody reads interviews, but still…

Due to the format of the report you can find my comments here and there, mostly in brackets.
Under the cut because it’s long.

I forgot to mention something important: the ones participating in the talk show were Mitsurou Kubo, Toshiyuki Toyonaga (Yuuri), Junichi Suwabe (Victor), Kouki Uchiyama (Yurio).

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imagine vampire yoongi.

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

  • just when you thought he couldn’t get any grumpier, min yoongi is cursed to walk the earth for all eternity.
  • yikes.
  • so done with the world’s shit by now, honestly he stopped caring a long, long, looooong time ago and if anyone expects him to give a flying fuck about a hashtag or the panda’s dying they can think again.
  • political scandal? “is that a new band?”
  • global warming? “good, it’s kinda drafty here.”
  • the sun will one day grow to encompass the earth? “great, i’ll be waiting.”
  • whenever he gets bored or impatient with everything he’ll just go to ground and hibernate. 
  • by which i mean he will literally dig himself a hole and go to sleep in the earth for anything from a week to a century (ok that was one time.)
  • and he’s cold all. the. time. like, yeah i know he’s technically dead but he actually feels the cold all the time, because he lowkey starves himself.
  • so he’s always very bundled up, and doesn’t really notice the temperature shift from inside/outside or winter/summer.
  • and yoongi is old, okay, he doesn’t need much blood to keep him going. 
  • he’s got a short list of donors he can have a few sips from during the week, and that way nobody has to die because of him.
  • because ugh slaughter is such a pain to clean up.
  • so, not only is he technically dead, but he looks kinda malnourished, a little sick, and like he hasn’t slept. ever. 
  • and yet he’s very pretty, flawless, stoic, and distractingly magnetic.
  • because he’s so old however, he’s not weak, just lethargic af.
  • there’s just one thing he cares about. wanna take a wild guess?
  • music.
  • the only reason he hasn’t sunk to the bottom of the ocean, flung himself into a volcano, or walked into the sunset by now.
  • and when you don’t need to eat, sleep, or pee, you get through a lot of music so yoongi has pretty much heard it all.
  • these days he just kinda hibernates and wanders around while he’s waiting for new releases.
  • and you work in a record shop. wow isn’t that a nice coinkydink.
  • his usual place shuts down and he has to find a new shop that’ll let him sit around and listen to music in the evenings. 
  • and your place of work is exactly one such place.
  • he comes in late, depending on the season, just when the sun has gone down, during the last few hours of your work day.  
  • he doesn’t say anything, just sits and listens until you have to lock up.
  • and you just assume he works all day and this is the only time he has to go browse, although you notice eventually that he rarely buys anything, but you decide to leave him alone because he looks like he’s had one hell of a day.
  • anyway it’s nice not to be alone in the shop at the end of the day when it gets dark and all.
  • you tried to offer him coffee once, because you got some for yourself and he always looks like he just got in from a snowstorm. but he just shook his head no.
  • and at first he would stop by the shop once a month or every two weeks.
  • but one night, when you play something over the speakers that he hasn’t heard in decades, he suddenly feels???? nostalgic ????
  • and with wide eyes he asks you the name of the artist and you trip all over yourself and your words trying to tell him because you don’t think you’ve ever heard him speak and wow is that what his voice sounds like
  • and after that he starts coming every night to rediscover all the old stuff he hasn’t listened to in ages, because somehow in all his grump he had completely forgotten he could do that???? 
  • and he’s lowkey very grateful that he rediscovered his love of music through you, so whenever you try to make polite conversation with him after that he doesn’t just grunt or shake his head, he gives you actual answers, and you start learning more about him.
  • you let him stay after closing time, just a little while until you have to go, making small talk whenever he’s not absorbed in the music.
  • that way you learn so, sO much about music, everything from little technical details to great historical context, and you don’t understand how one man can have such a large range of knowledge.
  • and then you start playing whichever album he chooses over the speakers so that you can both listen and talk about the music together.
  • and stay around longer so he can finish whichever album he’s listening to that evening.
  • and he begins to walk you home because that way you can continue your conversations, and also it’s late and dark and he knows exactly what kind of monsters lurk in these shadows.
  • and by that time you’re already head over heels for him, but he’s very careful about keeping his distance, so you just assume he’s not attracted to you and that’s fine as long as he keeps keeping you company.
  • yoongi has probably mentioned he’s a vampire.
  • like at least twice he’s proclaimed to be dead and you just assumed you didn’t get the joke.
  • but the real joke is he’s dead, he doesn’t care who knows, and it’s not like anyone will believe him anyway.
  • “you’re too thin, when was the last time you ate something, yoongi?”
  • “a couple centuries probably, what year is it again?”
  • and
  • “you’re so pale, yoongi, you should get more sun.”
  • “i’m already dead, a little sun isn’t gonna help.”
  • or
  • “you look tired, yoongi, do you get enough sleep?”
  • “i took a ten year nap before this, don’t worry.”
  • or
  • “hey, yoongi, how are you today?”
  • “dead. could be worse, i guess.”
  • lmao rip.
  • and then, you go and get a dang paper cut.
  • before you can so much as bring it to your lips yoongi is already at your side, pressing a tissue (where did that even come from?) to the cut so firmly it cuts off circulation to the entire finger anyway.
  • and he’s so,,,,, close. 
  • you’ve never seen him so close, and all you can do is stare at him like an idiot and wonder how many people have specks of red in their eyes, because you’ve never seen that on anyone before.
  • and he doesn’t even breathe. he can’t.
  • and that’s when you realise “yoongi, you’re so cold!”
  • “i’m dead. i told you, i’m a vampire.”
  • and you’re like hha,,, hah,,,ha? w-what? 
  • so he takes your other hand, and holds it to the side of his neck and he’s completely cold and there’s no pulse.
  • and now the cat is out of the bag so he may as well lean in and sniff you because life’s too short amirite.
  • “you smell……….. incredible.”
  • that’s when you see his lil fangs.
  • and at first you’re freaking out because hol ?? ?y STHIT???
  • but then you realise, this is yoongi, who’s walked you home for months now, he’s had every opportunity to drain you dry and he hasn’t and you’re desperately in love with him.
  • so you just kinda,,,,, chill.
  • and yoongi looks surprised, expecting you to kick and scream, and asks why your heart rate suddenly slowed again and you tell him it’s because you trust him.
  • so, he asks “but what if i bit you?”
  • and you say “you wouldn’t.”
  • “then,,,,,,,, what if i kissed you?”
  • your heart damn near beats right out of your chest.
  • and in response he gives you the smuggest grin, fangs and all.
  • anyway, nsfw under the cut.

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How Sony deals with fandoms

I’ve been to an international in-house PR summit hosted by one of my clients this week and nearly fell off my chair when one of the guest speakers was a VERY important person from Sony Music Entertainment. Let’s call him John. I won’t disclose his function and real name because I don’t want to reveal where I was, but based on his title he definitely knows what he‘s saying and has a lot of industry experience.

His speech was mainly  about how to engage with a variety of different target audiences. Of bloody course one of the first slides he showed was a picture of 1D engaging with fans which was supposed to drive the point home that there are some audiences who are more passionate about a brand than others.He mentioned then that he’s worked with 1D on their albums which drove me into a bit of a freeze.

Because I’m embarrassing, I recorded parts of his speech on my phone and wrote the most important things down to share some interesting insights he gave about how Sony manages their artists’ target audiences, crafts their artists’ social media actions and deals with the fact that at the end of the day they always need to get people to buy music.

 

HOW DOES SONY UNDERSTAND AND MONITOR AUDIENCES (like fandoms for instance)?

According to John, they have their very own data-driven digital tool that helps them identify and manage different target groups for an artist (it’s not perfected yet but has been rolled out a lot of countries, I think he said 50?) and see where there might be connections to other artists, who the influencers are, what the specific target groups are or will be interested in and to identify collaboration opportunities.

Target groups are being split into four categories: Fanatics, enthusiasts, casuals, indifferents. These segments are being broken down into even smaller groups defined by age, genre preference, gender and country. They found that the older you get, the less likely you’ll be a fanatic or enthusiast.

How does Sony find this stuff out? Well, they survey polled music audiences of every age in a way that covers either nationally representatives or represent one of the major top tier cities. People shared their music preferences, consumption habits, lifestyle, media habits etc. Sony gathered all that information, analysed the insights and created their own audience understanding tool.

According to John, that way everyone at Sony has access to an interactive map of the world of Sony that looks into segmentations and audiences for every artist while being searchable in a number of different ways. The tool is pulling from real data, but they are also adding to that „with things like analytics of platforms like Spotify where we are able to gather lots of informations about user behaviours and reference that against things that we do“.

 

HOW SONY STRATEGICALLY SHAPES PR STORIES

John gave the example of Snoop Doggy Dog who had launched a new album (song? Idk) around that time: „There was a week-long debate in parliament around the legalization of Marihuana, so we just jumped on this conversation and did lots of social marketing around Snoop with his rolling papers and his spliffs… so maybe that’s bad taste, I’ll allow you to judge that for yourselves. The point is though that you are also marketing into a wider cultural context. [You need] an understanding how that works and where you can have a conversation that is seamless and not fake, genuineness is quite important.

“The way you can get people to connect is: You’ve got a lot of stuff that you want to say. Start under the assumption that people actually don’t give a shit about 95 percent of it. And then see which are the bits that might overlap. This is where the understanding of the audience really comes into its own. It forces us to think before we jump to execution. The quest for relevance is vitally important.”

Why are people to connect with a brand/band though? John thinks this is one of the most underused questions when planning an approach. Why is it that they do specific things? He gave an example: „We would normally take a record to radio because we always believe that radio is the thing that breaks the record. But if my core audience, my phase one audience – the people that are gonna give that band its first lift – are on Spotify, what am I doing on radio??“


ENGAGEMENT AROUND ARTIST IS KEY

„The thing is that you don’t start with a conversation around a product. The consumption of the product is the end point of a journey where you built an engagement and a fan. So again, for us that means that when we sit down and do our plan around our next Robbie Williams album, we start with „How are we gonna maximize the engagement around Robbie Williams“? because that will then sell us albums. Not „Okay, we’ll be releasing in a week in November, eight weeks out we need to be here, here and here“. So we’re not doing product launches anymore unless [it is suitable for the target demographic]. We have to built a tension and an engagement around an artist.“

 

ABOUT THEIR ARTISTS‘ SOCIAL MEDIA CHANNELS

„We run most of our artists social media channels or at least their official  pages, so we are involved in all of those conversations.“


Shocking, I know.

Based on the situation we face in this fandom,with this band, feel free to draw your own conclusions about what this information means.

HERE ARE MY KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1.       It’s not news at all, but the existence of their own audience understandig tool confirms it: the 1D fandom is being monitored, segmented and analyzed. Sony’s strategies are tightly tied to that fact. Collaborations or artist interactions such as Louis/James Arthur or One Direction/ Little Mix are most likely the result of a data-driven analysis of whose fan groups are similar and whose are likely to be open towards that particular other artist too.

2.       Again no news, but the example of Snoop Doggy Dog shows that there are strategies behind even the most random photos. Often placements of specific pictures or stories serve a wider purpose. Hello pap walks, hello b**ygate, hello Louis Twitter, hello Liam visibly being linked to L.A.‘s cool singer/songwriter crowd before his first album drop.  

3.       The decision to not promote Louis‘ song could very well have been a logical outcome of the team asking themselves the question „Why?“: Why should we promote his song with huge effort when we KNOW his own fans are going to do it passionately, especially if they think  we don’t give a shit? Why not playing that game in order to make them promo it the hardest way they can?“ Why indeed??

4.       One Direction is a huge deal for Sony. John was talking about a lot of bands during his speech but whenever he was talking about major acts, he always listed One Direction amongst them (along with gems like Beyonce, David Bowie, Adele). He name-dropped them at least 5 -6 times in a 60 minute speech. He really didn’t have to because the audience was in no way whatsoever a target audience. So yes, they clearly have been and are a very huge deal for them.

5.       The part about social media? Well :))))))

On Prompto

So this cave-dude I know recently called Prompto a ‘pussy’. Delightful, right? But then I’ve also noticed lately this weird tendency in fics to reduce Prompto to (and reinforce his character as) this emotionally weak, almost ‘frightened bunny’ trope, even bordering on actual childishness at times. Now, these are in fact two different issues in the end, yet the overlap is considerable, when you think about it. And I just…

Whaaaat?!

While I recognise and absolutely support all fic writers and such in their right to do whatever the hell they want (Please do! You are valued, and our fandom needs you!), I just…maaaaan. Sometimes I just have to gently shake my head when it comes to some characterisations of our boy Prom.

Now I totally get that AU’s are a thing, as well as personal perspectives. Like, in my head, Prompto can have a pretty bad potty mouth, and regularly drops those f-bombs, and you can totally disagree with me, which is a beautiful thing. Also, if you follow this blog you have definitely seen me tag Prompto as a ‘smol cinnamon bun’, in need of protection ‘at all costs’ and blah blah blah (this is largely meme-based, because I subsist on Diet Coke and memes- I digress). 

But it’s honestly the layered essence of what makes this character who he is, the many elements written into and played out in the canon, that make him so appealing to me, personally. To see him essentially reduced to a caricature of himself, a distilled version of everything he is that just sort of latches onto this ‘he’s the baby and the smallest, the most caring and therefore the weakest’ idea, just feels so off the mark. And it makes me kind of sad, you know? 

Let it be known right off the bat that I’m obviously by no means claiming to be some sort of FINAL WORD ON PROMPTO or anything so ridiculous. Neither is this some sort of ‘call out’ on any particular writing or portrayal, at all. I can’t abide by that shit. 

I just feel like talking about how I see Prompto, I guess?  

In all honesty, the Prompto I experienced in the game, as well as in the anime, and audio drama, was anything but weak, and anything but childish. He was always, right from the start, very much the backbone of the Chocobros’ group, the one voicing what everyone was thinking, easing their tension and swallowing his self-doubt to strive to be the best he could be for his friends, like he’s always done. 

Originally posted by gladios-booty-sweat

He got this.

Prompto literally escaped/was rescued from/was vaguely aware of at least, a mysterious and probably terrifying early history, and then proceeded to face a lot of bullshit when he was growing up- at home, with frequently absent parents who left him often to his own devices, as well as at school, where he was closed off from and largely ignored by the other kids. This all could have resulted in a really timid, emotionally fragile or ‘weak’ character, but the fact is… it didn’t? He grew up independent and actually pretty capable of caring for himself, not to mention totally self-taught when it came to interacting with others (thank you for the vote of confidence, Luna). He also grew up with a compassionate streak a mile wide. 

I won’t get too into my thoughts on this idea in particular because this post is already massive, and to discuss patriarchal conventions (the aforementioned use of the word ‘pussy’ in this context), not to mention strength vs. resilience on top of it would just get out of hand. I will say this: we can all stand to remember that compassion does not equal weakness.

Prompto was afraid a lot, sure- they all were, obviously- but he was also brave as fuck. If bravery means to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’, then Prompto’s a master. He’s been practising his entire life, after all.  

Prompto was always there, right? This ever present force for good, supporting his friends and their goals, to the bitter end. He was there, thinking and acting on the fly during the Leviathan ritual, which was obviously a horrific ordeal even before its conclusion. He was ever at the ready to see things from all sides, like when Ignis was injured and all hell broke loose between the less-capable, (emotionally-speaking) Gladio and Noct. He was even there, ready to offer a taste of his usual, cheery self when they were all together for the very last time, even if it was clearly breaking his heart. 

Heyas.

And yeah he’d kid around, make silly jokes (interestingly, it seems, especially during situations of high tension or uncertainty on the part of his friends, like deep in the depths of some mind-boggling ruins or when facing the prospect of ‘hey, we are actually going to go to Altissia now- oh holy fuck!’). But he was also so very capable of adult conversation, especially when it came to his feelings, which we saw several times throughout the canon- a sure sign of real maturity if ever there was one, in my opinion. 

The fact is, Prompto’s fear isn’t who he is, and neither is his small physical stature nor his big heart. Rather, his actions and choices in the face of all of that make up the person he is. (Like anyone, right?). He is no caricature for cute, nor for weak or timid or scared. And I for one want to see more about that guy, in all his multifaceted, achingly resilient, freckle-faced glory. 

And don’t fucking call me ‘pussy’, dude. 

How to Annotate Literature

Many times language and literature classes require students to annotate the books that are given to them, but in many cases tips and advice on how to do so is lacking. I will be sharing my personal strategy for efficient and successful annotating that will not only help your understanding of the text but also gain the love of your teachers!

The tips have been divided into 5 components, each with their own explanation.

Sticky Tabs are Your Best Friend

I don’t know how I would manage to annotate without my sticky tabs. They help me organize and navigate the book before the reading, remind me what to look for while i’m going through the text and help me find whatever I may need once I get to further analysis for the class. 

Create a key for your tabs, personally I use five colors each having a few specific purposes based on where I place them in the book. Most stickies are accompanied by a specific note that will remind me of what I wanted to point out, these stick out of the right margin. 

  • Pink- Anything to do with characters, be it development or certain traits to remember. It can also be used for when you have questions about character related aspects of the text.
  • Orange- Refers to setting, in plays it is also applicable for stage directions.
  • Yellow- Is used for literary devices and use of language (tone, diction, patterns) and syntax, if there is a particular word the author used or a structure you want to take note of, this is the color to use. 
  • Green- Applicable to any important plot events, notable scenes or things that you think will be significant later in the story.
  • Blue- Themes and context of said ideas, anything to do with time, place and space in which the text takes place. It can also relate to how your context (a student reading a book for a literature course) impacts your perception of the text.

These are the things teachers usually look out for and it is certainly useful in any kind of further task! 

The top and bottom margins can be used to divide the book in to sections, such as chapters or scenes, mark the most important pages and to also highlight text to text connections. These colors you can pick yourself!

I do not recommend having more than 5 sticky tabs per page, otherwise it gets too crowded and they lose their purpose! (but you will still need to buy aaa lloootttt)

This is my key for the book I am currently annotating, Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw. 

Don’t Overdo it With the Highlighter

Find one color highlighter that you like the most and use it to mark explicit words or phrases that catch your attention, you can also use them in correlation with you sticky tabs! 

I prefer to use a yellow highlighter because it seems to bleed the least, and I usually use it in relation to the the yellow and blue tabs because those are the ones that relate to the most detailed and minute parts of the text. Once again you can find your own preference! But don’t overdo it, otherwise, like the tabs, the highlighter will lose its function to highlight important points. 

This is an example of how much highlighting I usually do. For non-fictional texts or parts of a book (like in the introduction you see here) I reserved highlighter for dates and names. 

Have a Conversation With the Author

This is one of the first tips that my high school teacher gave me and it’s really one of the most important ones to remember. And I know, it may sound kinda silly, but I find that it really helps me in developing my ideas and remembering exactly how I felt about a certain aspect of part of the text. 

Whether the text is fiction of non fiction, anything in between, you can always do these few things

  • Ask questions- As if you were going to get an answer, ask questions, write them down and write down as many as you want. Writing things down helps people remember so then it is more likely that in a class discussion you will be able to recall your queries or wonders. 
  • If you don’t like something, or you’re surprised by something, write it down! Use exclamation marks, use words that you would use in a regular conversation. I always write ‘WOW!!’ or ‘OMG’ when i’m especially impressed, and having such vocal- well written vocally- emotions will bring you closer to the subject of the text. 
  • Talk to the characters as well, if you are questioning a character’s actions ask them and provide an explanation as to why you speculate they may have acted a certain way. Not only does that further contribute to your involvement (also making things more entertaining) but it also deepens your thought!

What i’m trying to say is write down anything that comes to mind, your first response is your true response, and it is a valuable addition to your notes! And if you want to write a whole essay in between the lines… Actually, i’ll come back to that later! 

Pens, not Pencils 

I used to make notes completely in pencil but my approach changed when I realized that overtime the pencil would rub off and get illegible. I think it was because I used my book so much, but having switched to pen I realized that it helps me in quite a few other things as well. 

The good thing about pen is that you can’t erase it and let’s say you started writing down a note, scan down the page and realize what you are taking a note of is completely wrong. That’s ok! That’s actually really good! Don’t scribble out what you just wrote down, but instead continue and explain why you may have thought a certain way and what your understanding is now. That relates really closely to the previous note. 

Evidently pen also appears darker on the page, then there’s no possibility of it ever disappearing. It also won’t smudge or bleed as long as it’s ballpoint! That’s a good thing when drawing arrows between lines, underlining in addition to your highlights and circling/boxing whatever you deem necessary.

Time, Effort and Commitment

It’s clear that this post took me a while to make, and it took me a while to develop this system with all of the things that I have considered. So it must be self evident that using this type of annotation won’t be quick. It might get tiring at some times, and for me it really does, but at the end I find that it always pays off! You have to stay committed to this technique, you have to put in the same amount of effort for every page, which means you need time. So here are a few final general tips I will leave you with.

  • Don’t procrastinate! As goes for any task, and this one more than any, don’t waste time getting to it! I advice you check how many pages you have in total and make sure that you do a certain amount per day (usually 5-10 pages a day is good!)
  • If you go off on massive tangents in the side bars, make sure that you don’t get too distracted by them because they will take up a lot of your time. But one now and then may be good! Be sure to mark it for later reference!
  • Play mind games with yourself. This one is actually pretty interesting but it personally gets me a long way. If you have 20 pages left, don’t look at it as 20 pages but instead as 4 times 5, then the amount will seem a lot more manageable! It’s a kind of self encouragement!
  • That can also be said by looking now and then at how far your bookmark has moved through the book and giving yourself a pat on the back for all of you hard work!

That’s all I have for now! If you have any further questions for advice or explanation please message me and I will be more than happy to help! And I hope that this helps some people out too! (I’m counting this as 21/100 days of productivity as all I did today was related to annotating.)

But like at the same time, Christians who have certain jobs need to throttle back at work because for real it gives me hives being told “Have a blessed day!” by someone like a receptionist at a doctor’s office. It happened today and while she was super-sweet and very obviously genuine (in context, I think she was actually trying to make me feel safe) it was still one of those “…welp…” moments.  I’d just told her two minutes before that my girlfriend would be coming to the appointment with me.  My cat was out of the bag, no takesie-backsies.

Christians have a very nasty track record with violence and obstruction against LGBT people like me, so I suddenly am aware that there are people around who might hate people like me, and they have the ability to make my getting medical care difficult or even impossible.

I get that even if they didn’t SAY it, they would still have the same biases, but I don’t have much choice in who I see, so I’d be stuck with them regardless, and I’d rather not have the anxiety of worrying about it.  My other choice is not disclosing that I’m queer if it comes up, and even when not saying anything about it is an option, which it often isn’t, it’s not one I’m willing to take.  I have to choose between being safe and being honest, and that’s shitty.

It can be hard to imagine, I think, for Christian people, what it’s like to be afraid like that, because to Christians, Christianity is a great thing and Christians are great people.

But like the first psych doctor they wanted to send me to for my disability reevaluation worked out of a Christian therapy office (okay) and their clinic policy was “gay people are against God.” (Not okay at all.)

My disability eval was going to be performed by a dude who was comfortable telling children they are wrong to be gay.

I called up the disability office the day I got the letter and got another doctor to do the eval. Thank goodness they were willing to reassign my case after I told them there was “a potential conflict of interest that might threaten the doctor’s impartiality.”  Thank goodness I had the spoons to make the call and the presence of mind to phrase my issue the way I did instead of just yelling “MOVE I’M GAY.”

I mean, y’all understand, I could have gotten my benefits yanked if I’d gone in there and they’d taken a dislike to me based on the fact that I’m not cishet.  Legal protections aside, there is no impartial third party monitoring that appointment, and they have total control over what goes on their paperwork. There is literally nothing keeping them from recommending I be denied.  For disabled people, legal protections are only effective to the extent we can afford to enforce the law with our own money. Money that, if you are on disability, you obviously do not have.

Without my benefits, especially medical coverage, I cannot survive.  So like.

Yeah.

A lot is riding on the goodwill of people who have been shown to historically have very little goodwill for people like me. I don’t like being reminded of it.

Y’all are cool, I love y’all so so so much, but y’all are also really fucking scary in large groups, and when one of y’all has power over me, I never know whether I can trust you and that shit is scary.

Fucking police your own, thanks.

Mapmaking Part 1

So you want to make a custom map! Pylon Bina here to lend their (hopeful) expertise on the matter.

Mapmaking is a great way to add physical context to your stories. Knowing where people are in relation to the world around them helps readers follow along the journey more accurately, ESPECIALLY if there are lots of events happening far away from each other. Tolkein’s books include maps to get you oriented around Middle Earth while multiple plotlines were happening, and C.S. Lewis had maps of Narnia and the surrounding countries so that “Calormen” and “Ettinmoor” weren’t just vague concepts to the reader.

Mapmaking is also a great mental exercise that brings together a lot of general knowledge, and will get you thinking about how your world works. By the end of mapping your world, you’ll have a much better grasp of your setting. Not to mention it’s an indispensable reference!

So, this tutorial will cover the all the different scales that you might need. Some of these are related and will be grouped together: world/region/country maps, and city/town maps. Since the tutorials are image-heavy, they won’t both be put together in this post, but linked separately.



Mapmaking Part 1a: Large-scale maps

Here we’ll go through the process of creating a large-scale map. All steps will be listed in order, but not all steps apply to the kind of map you want. For example, if you’re focusing on a country or province, skip the step about picking a map projection (unless your country is absolutely enormous).

STEP 0: STYLE

This isn’t really a necessary step for the beginning, but it’s best to think about it early. What kind of look are you going for? An old, parchment-style map? Something sleek and as informative as possible? Is it a reference only for you, or would you include it with your published material? The maps I’ll use for the tutorial are the old-looking parchment ones.

STEP 1: SET UP THE MAP

If you’re drawing a world map, you might consider picking a map projection. This gives you a border to draw in and adds some realism to your map. There’s a wikipedia page on map projections to look at (HERE). There’s some crazy ones out there. I went with the Winkel-Tripel projection (fun fact, National Geographic uses this projection for their all-world maps).

Then decide: How many continents? Do you have a Pangea thing going on? Or do you have 5-6 major land masses like Earth does? Is it all islands?

STEP 2: DRAFTING BORDERS

This is the fun part and most creative part, really. Here you’ll choose the location and general shape of your borders/landmasses. They might be the continent’s coastal boundary, or it could be a political border. Keep in mind that political boundaries have way more regularities in them than coastal boundaries do (for example, the boundary between the US and Canada has a long smooth portion in it).

Choose your shapes. They can be super vague, just get the general idea down. Consider completely random objects for inspiration if you want more irregularly-shaped landmasses/countries. Lumpy horse head? Rooster tail? Saggy boot? Go nuts. Here I used a lumpy upside-down arrowhead shape.

Special note on political borders: A lot of the time, political boundaries follow meridians/parallels (resulting in a smooth border), or natural formations such as rivers and mountain ranges. Keep this in mind when drafting.

STEP 3 (optional): REFINE SHAPES

If you feel your shape isn’t distinct enough, take your time and refine it. Add notches, lumps, carve chunks out of the edges, anything you want, until you’re happy with the overall shape. For inspiration, look at a real-world map and look at just how irregular and weird some countries/continents are in their shape. Don’t be scared to make something crazy! I mean, look at the broken-ness of northern Canada. Or the intense squiggles of Greenland. The thin-ness of Chile. Lots of weird stuff irl to remind you just how flexible you can be.

STEP 4: LINING (AND EMBRACING RANDOMNESS)

Ahh, the fun part. And the part that might take the longest. Lining/inking! If you don’t have steady hands or worry about making smooth lines, don’t fret! Coastlines (and to a certain degree, political boundaries) are filled with some shaky random nonsense. To get a border that really feels real, embrace that randomness and don’t bother with a steady hand. I purposefully let my hand shake and twitch to get that proper randomness. Make sure that you enlarge your sketch to be properly big enough for your map.

Note how I deviated from my sketch all over the place. The sketch is really just to give you an idea. I encourage straying from it when you want more interesting borders. I also added some random islands nearby.

STEP 5: MAJOR LAND FEATURES

Before you put your cities down, you need to get the lay of the land. Are there mountains? Rivers? Lakes? Deserts? Forests? If you have a climate already planned, reflect that on your map. You can either include them on your final map, or have it in a sketch somewhere (or on an extra layer in your art program) just so you know. Reference real world maps for help.

To actually draw these things, check out their representations on real maps or fantasy maps. It might be sections of color, different textures, or you can get artsy and throw down some triangles for mountains, clustered circles/scribbles for forests, etc. Just so long as anyone looking at the map can easily tell what’s what. !!! Include a map key if you have to !!!

Consider this: Lots of land features work in tandem. Rivers can originate from mountains. Air currents mean a forest might be on one side of a mountain range but not on the other.  All rivers end in the ocean. All rivers flow downhill! Mountain ranges are BIG. Does a mountain range cut through multiple countries/continents?

Also consider: Do any land features make up a border to your country (if applicable?) Rivers are great for political boundaries.


This has been the first part of making a custom map; stay tuned for the second part (in which pylon Bina goes into adding the civilization part to your new landmasses) coming soon!

Character Analysis: Holly Blue Agate

Anonymous said:
what were your thoughts on holly blue?

I’ll keep the introduction short for this post. Holly Blue is the second Homeworld character introduced affiliated with Homeworld and a specific Diamond. The first character was Peridot. While the Rubies openly talk about their service to Yellow Diamond, they don’t share the deep investment that Holly Blue and Peridot have shown in the story.

It’s interesting looking at her character knowing what we do about Peridot now. So let’s get right into it!

1. Gem Placement

Anonymous said:
What do you suppose Holly Blue Agate’s gem placement (the back of her head, at the base of her skull) symbolizes?

Going by anatomy, the back of the skull is where the occipital lobe of the brain is located. The occipital lobe functions not necessarily to let us see, but to help us make sense of what we’re seeing. That is, the occipital lobe helps us interpret and comprehend the images that our eyes are looking at.

And to me, there’s something interesting about every single moment we get to see Holly Blue’s gem in Gem Heist, when she’s first introduced. In those moments, she sees the CGs just as they’re doing something they’re not supposed to do, and each time, she misinterprets what happens and they don’t get caught.

The very first time we see her gem is when the CGs just arrive and try to convince the Amethysts of their credibility. That Sapphire isn’t a “disgraced” Homeworld defector and that she’s the leader of the entire operation bringing a new human for Blue Diamond’s Zoo. Holly Blue buys into this narrative completely and leads them exactly where they want to go.

The second time is immediately after Pearl is ordered to open the first door. Pearl makes a very un-Pearl face at Holly, who, with back turned, ignores it unknowingly, saving Pearl and Sapphire what could have been a heated questioning.

The third time, she and Sapphire walk in on the other CGs trying to destroy the door. And they look so obviously guilty, but Holly blames it on the Amethysts instead. 

Close to the end of the episode, we have one more shot of her gem as the Amethysts take Steven away and he’s very loudly resisting. We know that’s a sign of the upturn that Steven causes later on, but Holly interprets it as a sign that things are running smoothly and going to be fine.

Note that none of these circumstances immediately signal to Holly that things are going wrong. The Zoo is a far off outpost that has been very low-key. Working there must be very quiet, save the occasional visit from BD. Holly wouldn’t be expecting trouble and that tinges the way she processes what goes on around her.

I’d say on a normal day, the Famethyst pulls a few pranks, Holly makes them clean up and then they train for a while. Holly goes around inspecting everything. And it’s boring. So when a noble gem shows up, Holly wants things to be the best they can be.

It’s a point in how our contexts tinge how we interpret what our senses tell us. In experiencing the world, there is definitely going to be an element of subjectivity. No two people experience the same scenario the same way because just from a physical standpoint, they’re never really in the same place at the same time.

I think this is especially true for Holly. Her gem, which I’ve mentioned before gives us an idea of how gems interact with the world, is behind her. That means she wants to be on top of everything, but she doesn’t face things directly when interacting with them. She’s always just a little bit behind on what’s going on.

Additionally, we’ve already seen a discrepancy between what she sees and what she makes of it. It implies that she’s out of touch with what’s happening on the ground. Extending it further, she’s a bit out of touch with herself. Functioning at her best, I’d say she’d be very perceptive. But that “gut feeling” has to be cultivated.

And being out of touch is a very real phenomenon. Holly is in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t get to interact with a lot of gems and the gems she does interact with are ones she’s been with for thousands of years from very early on in their lives.

I’d say that she’s amazing at telling what the Famethyst are up to. She’s always suspicious of them, and that’s maybe because they’ve given her a reason to believe something is always brewing. If the mischievous character of our own Amethyst is anything to go by, poking fun at Holly’s uptight nature is something they’d be doing very frequently, even before the CGs came. 

Holly can probably tell what the Famethyst are plotting even at a glance. She’s attuned to them, whether she wants to be or not. And that leads to the next point.

2. Position on Homeworld

Keep reading

How Fusion relationships work

“How many Gems are you now?”
“Six! Maybe more … if we meet the right Gem.”

In the episode “Off Colors,” Fluorite makes it clear she’s a relationship of SIX Gems and is open to more. I was joking around trying to think of what her fusion dance would look like if she added another Gem to this relationship, thinking it would be kind of adorable seeing one smaller Gem dancing to fuse with this huge amalgam. But then I wondered about a few things and I collected enough Thinky Thoughts to ramble for a bit.

For a long time before “Super Watermelon Island,” we fans were curious about Alexandrite’s fusion dance. We knew Garnet, as a Fusion herself, prefers to form Fusions with others when she’s already in her Fusion state–as in, she certainly doesn’t split up first to dance with the others one on one when she wants to form Sugilite or Sardonyx. 

We figured hey, maybe it’s easier to synchronize two Gems rather than trying to synchronize three at the same time, and therefore maybe Alexandrite was formed with Pearl and Amethyst fusing into Opal first before dancing with Garnet. 

In “Super Watermelon Island,” we see that’s not so.

Which is not to say that Opal and Garnet COULDN’T decide to fuse that way, but they didn’t in this case. And we can see that if they’re prepared to do it, a three-way synchronization can work without previously synchronizing the components into Fusions.

Fusions can fuse with individuals. With TWO individuals. And individual Gems can of course make Fusions. So basically, it’s free-for-all mix-n-match however the Gems involved are comfortable doing it. 

And I got to wondering what that means for the Fusions themselves. Fusions are relationships. So theoretically, Fusions are the relationships of the component Gems with each other, even in more complicated Fusions like Alexandrite. But essentially, Alexandrite seems like she is the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl with Garnet, not so much the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl and Ruby and Sapphire. If they were to all four fuse in a single fusion dance, they would still make Alexandrite, but Pearl and Amethyst probably don’t HAVE much of a relationship with Ruby or with Sapphire individually. When Pearl first met Garnet in any meaningful way, she was already fused.

So when Pearl makes Sardonyx with Garnet, that relationship is by definition Ruby, Sapphire, and Pearl’s relationship, but practically speaking, it’s a relationship between Pearl and Garnet. Because her relationship with Ruby and Sapphire is nearly always in the context of them as their relationship. As Garnet.

That may seem like a weird point to press on, but stay with me here. 

Garnet probably doesn’t have much of a relationship with Opal as an individual. She has individual relationships with Pearl and with Amethyst, and together their group is Alexandrite. They’re a four-Gem Fusion, but personality-wise, Alexandrite represents Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst together far more than she represents Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl, and Amethyst together. When they start to fight internally, you certainly hear Garnet’s voice coming out, not the voices of Ruby or Sapphire. (And maybe, aside from the potential spoiler-related reasons, that’s why Alexandrite makes more sense with six arms instead of eight.)

Rebecca Sugar has repeatedly said in interviews that Fusions ARE relationships (though they also obviously have their own opinions that can be in contradiction with their components’ opinions, like Sugilite, and can “feel like one being” like Garnet said in “Keeping It Together”). And she’s also said Fusions are an interesting opportunity to explore who people are TOGETHER–the way humans can be together in a relationship and it changes who they are, how they think, how they function as a unit even though they can never be as much of a single entity as a Fusion is. This has me thinking about Fluorite.

She’s an established six-Gem relationship. I don’t know how they came to the conclusion that they wanted to live together, but Rhodonite’s question “how many Gems are you now?” suggests she’s been adding them steadily–that it wasn’t all at once. Very much like Amethyst and Pearl having a relationship with GARNET far more than with Ruby and/or Sapphire individually, I imagine that Fluorite’s additional Gems beyond the first ones–including potential future additions–would develop a relationship with the Fusion, not so much with her components. They may not even KNOW much about who they are individually because the relationship is that significant. That the relationship changes them so much.

I mean, you’ve probably met people who are in relationships and have been part of that unit since a very long time before you met them. They’ve grown into each other, become comfortable with each other, and developed a collective “we” identity that connects to their family, their living situation, their thresholds of intimacy, their interests–everything. You would have no way to know the individuals in that relationship how they would be if they didn’t have it–just like it’s hard to imagine who someone might be if they weren’t an artist, or weren’t a mother, or weren’t chronically ill, or weren’t the gender or sexuality they are. You can’t pluck one element out of them and then try to re-imagine them around the hole that leaves–not unless that element actually does disappear and they readjust their identity around it. I think our relationships can be like that too–that they affect our identity.

Humans’ relationships aren’t as literally transformative as a relationship that can literally become its own person, but our relationships essentially have lives of their own too. Garnet didn’t describe Fusion to Stevonnie as “an experience” for nothing. Most of us don’t “feel like one being” as part of a relationship, and there are some ways in which that can be unhealthy for us if we repress important parts of ourselves to become subsumed in something we wouldn’t like if we were fully conscious of what we were doing. But in general, it’s not a bad thing to have one’s relationship regarded as an important element of who they are. It’s certainly part of how the outside world thinks of them and treats them.

With someone like Fluorite, I think it would be super interesting to see how a single Gem has a relationship with an existing relationship and becomes a part of it. But even though I think Fluorite, and Garnet, and even in some ways Malachite, can be regarded and treated as individuals while fused–requiring those who have relationships with them to take them as a whole–you would also have to have at least some kind of relationship with that relationship’s members. You’d understand them as a package deal, but you might have different feelings about its members. Steven, for instance, loved Lapis and disliked Jasper, but understood Malachite as someone he needed to fight.

Now here’s the sad thing. Garnet states that she’ll “always exist in” Ruby and Sapphire, and that she embodies their love (even though they can still experience that love when they’re not fused, too). But I imagine that if Garnet were separated for a long time, Steven would miss her a lot. And I can imagine if one of Steven’s guardians decided to, say, form a new Fusion with Fluorite and stay that way, he would miss her too. You can’t have both the single Gem and the perma-Fusion in your life consistently.

Most of us have been there. “Losing” a person to a new relationship and nothing is ever the same with them again. They give themselves to the relationship, they go everywhere together, and you can’t invite one without them bringing the other(s). Sometimes, you probably miss that person and want them back. But when they’re part of the relationship, that’s part of who they are, and even when they’re not with their partner(s), they’re part of that relationship. Sometimes that can feel sad, especially if it means your special relationship with that person had to end, lessen, or significantly change. 

Fusion relationships are very different from ours in a few obvious ways, but they’re not so fundamentally different that we can’t draw the parallels. Sometimes you wish the Fusion wasn’t there because you think the relationship is bad for those involved, like Malachite. If you’re Steven, you want your Lapis back and you want Jasper out of both of your lives. You might try to advise Lapis, you might try to protect her from Jasper, but she’s the one who has to decide what her relationship is. You can only hope she sees reason, or you could lose her in more ways than one.

With loving relationships, like Garnet, you want them to be together. Not necessarily because you like Garnet better than you like Ruby and Sapphire–it’s fun to see them now and then, sure!

But you know they prefer to be together, and that they experience anxiety and pain when they’re apart, and that they’ve chosen a life together where some of their individuality is given up for that closeness. You respect their decision and have a relationship with their relationship.

For humans, our relationships do not literally combine the traits of multiple people into one person that then has its own conscious will. The individuals in the relationship still function, while “the relationship” has no physical manifestation despite its influence being felt in the components. But it still changes the “color” of their lives together and brings the people involved close together to serve many shared goals, just like a Fusion.

So when a hypothetical new Gem does come along and establish a relationship with Fluorite, I think she would dance with her. Not with her components individually, but with her. We know Garnet as Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship–not as Ruby and Sapphire combined, but as the result of that combination. For a fused Gem, the Fusion is the new identity who can now make decisions and have experiences, even though they ARE an experience at the same time. It isn’t the same as individuals deciding to do the same thing. They made the decision to become the thing that decides on its own. And that Fusion, in the reality of their life together, can sometimes decide that’s no longer what they want to be. Or they can realize they’d rather be this than anything they were supposed to be and that they’d rather do this than anything they were supposed to do.

If a Gem has a relationship with a relationship, it’ll always be with the relationship first. The new relationship will need to be understood as coming into a shared, existing intimacy. Pearl and Amethyst don’t individually get consent from Ruby and from Sapphire when Garnet acts on their behalf to form Alexandrite. Garnet feels and acts differently from Ruby and Sapphire sometimes, and their choice to fuse into her has influenced the subsequent decisions they make as her. 

They may or may not disagree with how Garnet acts sometimes–like, if you were to ask Sapphire or ask Ruby what they would have personally done when Garnet did something different, you might get some answers that are as different as Amethyst and Garnet’s answers would be from Sugilite’s. But within the context of the relationship, with the relationship actively existing, it has the power to influence how the individuals feel. They have a relationship, and then that relationship can feel and think in unprecedented ways–with some of them not being so good. Being in a relationship with an abusive person, for instance, can sometimes make the abused party accept treatment they wouldn’t outside the relationship, or might have thought they wouldn’t tolerate before the relationship was established. And sometimes it’s neutral, like what a married couple decides they want in a shared home is different from what kind of place each might buy individually.

But what’s important about this is that fusion of goals, opinions, and thoughts in human relationships isn’t necessarily a sad thing. It’s a natural thing. We all influence each other. Allowing yourself to be influenced does not mean the relationship has eclipsed your life, or that you’re in an unhealthy dependence, or that you’ve lost your individual will–you’re still part of what you’ve made together. And if you’re happy in your relationship, anyone who comes along afterwards needs to understand who it’s made you, and be accepting of it, and most of all, be willing to have a relationship with your relationship. Not just one of its parts.

roteli  asked:

You mentioned in a post that fiction ≠ reality, but to kids it's not, fiction shapes how they see the world. Fiction is supposed to show them what's right and what's wrong. Adults who support adult/minor relationships make it had for children to distinguish that line if they haven't dealt with discourse (in the actual sense of the word) on serious subjects before. I can't make you stop shipping adult/minor ships, but I hope you consider what you're posting and the consequences that they have.

Is it fiction that shapes their perception or context?

I will agree that what we see in the media can influence us to some extent; a tragic movie can bring us to tears, just like a drama can educate us on matters across the globe, and propaganda has been used - even in modern day - to try and change the opinions of the masses to suit a greater power.

That being said, those things all rely on context: our tears spring from empathy, the education relies on a desire to be educated, and propaganda usually is on the back of a society willing to believe or being fed specific information from other sources. It’s like in children’s shows. We see Bart Simpson being strangled by his father, or Keith name-calling Lance, but children usually know these things are completely wrong.

They know not to imitate ‘Tom and Jerry’, because they have parents and teachers there to say: “it is wrong to hurt someone else”. They get time-outs on the naughty step, or a spanking in certain cultures, or just a long lecture … they usually have some trusted figure there to discipline and/or explain, so that everything they watch is through that same filter of understanding.

It’s why we need to supervise the media our children consume.

I think you are right: if this is the only discourse a child sees, it can have detrimental affects, but - massive ‘but’ here - where are the parents/guardians? Why are strangers on the Internet meant to parent the children of other people, whom they have not agreed to legally raise?

See, when we grew up, this was a constant discussion. We were taught basics of reproduction as soon as we asked questions. We were taught about ‘naughty places’ and ‘private places’. We were taught never to let an adult touch there. These discussions evolved over time, so - as a young teenager - we were taught about statutory rape, that even if we ‘want’ it that it’s still wrong, and so forth and so forth … 

We need to put the responsibility for raising a child on the parents.

Tumblr is 18+ on the app, 13+ on the website, I believe? While AO3 allows all content and explicitly states this, while having a tagging and rating system for you to make an informed choice about what you see. This means we have to lay responsibility upon the parents for not supervising or limiting the Internet activity of the child, instead of trying to infringe upon the rights of adults and remove their safe spaces to produce/consume art as they wish.

It’s basically a case of there being safe spaces for children, too, where they can discuss/consume art freely without coming across such materials, but that falls upon the parent to make sure that they are on the right websites … example, if I do not like porn then I avoid porn sites. If I don’t want to see shipping, I don’t go onto Tumblr or AO3.

What I’m advocating is personal responsibility. 

We need parents/guardians to stop the children from seeing these things, or for them (and schools) to provide a context to what they see … if a child knows that it’s fiction, just like child abuse in ‘The Simpsons’ or glorified violence in ‘Tom and Jerry’ is just fiction, they won’t normalise it and seek to emulate it. The answer isn’t to ban or censor such cartoons; no one would ever say ‘ban cartoons’, because they’re a part of life, but I think providing context to cartoons is absolutely key to these things.

One last example … 

I was around eight when “South Park” first came out; we watched it religiously as children, even with videos cassettes of it, because parents assumed that it was safe as all cartoons were for kids (that was their mistake and their fault as parents, because - like with shipping - the content isn’t the problem, but that it’s made accessible by parents unwilling to supervise their own children). 

In our case, we had massive context for what we saw (luckily, our parents were good on that score, which is part of why I always advocate teaching children, especially if you aren’t willing to supervise them). We never copied the bad language (some people I know today never swear; even I say ‘shoot’ or ‘darn’ as a general rule). No one I know copied the violence (I don’t have a single friend from that group who ever tried to kick a baby, for example). 

It was just entertainment. We laughed and enjoyed it, but we never copied it or held it up to a standard of normality … it was just a cartoon; we knew that, because our parents taught us that, as well as teaching us the behaviour in such cartoons was inappropriate in real life. This is why education is key.

If a child has parents that accidentally let them see Keith/Shiro, they should at least have the education and context to know that behaviour is inappropriate and should not be copied … it’s not up to shippers to stop creating such works, because the places we’re in are designed for adults or for all age-groups with explicit rules allowing such art. Now, if I went onto a children’s forum and posted such things -? Bad. On Tumblr -? Not so bad.

Sorry for the long essay back. 

We just need to realise that art/fanfiction isn’t the problem; the problem comes from parents/guardians not contextualising what children see, or preventing them from seeing it in the first place. We also need more safe spaces just for children, both moderated and supervised by responsible adults, so they have places to go that - well - aren’t Tumblr or AO3.  

Queer Self-Presentation and Burlesque Auto-Sexuality in Yuri Plisetsky’s “Welcome to the Madness”

PHEW! It’s finally ready for ya! 

Thanks to everyone for patiently waiting. I was overwhelmed with the response to my teaser post about this meta. I’m sorry it took so long to finish… I had to write the academic version for class, then rewrite it to be tumblr-appropriate (I’m still not sure that it is, constructive criticism is welcome!)

I’m hoping that this will contribute to the ongoing conversation about underage characters in fandom, and am looking forward to your asks. I’m a little nervous to be tossing my hat into the Otayuri discourse, but I hope I won’t catch too much hate.

I took out footnotes but included the bibliography at the end. If you have any questions about specific references, send me an ask or DM :)

Enjoy!

(2272 words)

Keep reading

my ten cents about vriska serket’s “abilities” as a “manipulator”:

i think a lot of the reason people are flabbergasted to see the words “vriska isn’t manipulative” is because first of all, there is a big misunderstanding about the nuance of abuse and abusive situatuations and which harmful aspects of abuse (manipulation, gaslighting, battery, etc) are at play in which instances of abuse. abuse isn’t black and white and not all abuse has the same exact hallmarks – someone can be abusive without being manipulative.

the other big issue i’m seeing is that so much of the fandom has a really poor understanding of vriska’s character.

there are a lot of people in this fandom who believe that vriska is cruel for the sake of cruel, mean because she wants to be, and a master manipulator who destroys the lives of everyone around her and laughs at the wreckage.

in ACTUALITY… vriska is a mess. a lot of the things she does are stupid, impulsive things she later very vocally regrets. she doesn’t actually strive for complete chaos – sadly, she’s very often actually trying to help, but she has poor social skills, no friends who trust her, and a hair trigger temper that often sends her into tantrums. she’s extremely emotional and impulsive.

and it’s not to say vriska can’t be clever – she is a smart girl who sometimes actually does execute plans that work (it happened once!) and the whole situation with jade and prototyping bec (i can’t remember the details exactly) was certainly a time when vriska cleverly executed something she was attempting. it completely fucking failed and blew up in everyone’s faces! but she is clever enough to come up with elaborate schemes in a pinch. they just don’t usually… work, and in most situations she uses brute force or has a meltdown instead of doing anything actually clever

vriska isn’t ACTUALLY a one note villain. that’s why people like her. her motivations are far from one dimensional cartoon villain – in fact, sadly, her motivation for her shitty behavior is either “abused child with no outlet and poor social skills trying to cope” or “my poor temperament flared and now all my friends hate me even more and i have to fix it”

vriska wanting to be a hero is hilarious in the context of the comic, especially when hussie first introduced her and she was absolutely insufferably annoying and pointlessly cruel. but as hussie elaborated on her character she became much deeper and more complex – her wanting to be a hero isn’t just because she’s a glory hound. it’s also because her life circumstances made her a child soldier who could not afford to have friends and whose social skills were too poor for her to ask for help or reach out to others. vriska wants people to respect her for a lot of reasons, but one big one is that she’s an abuse survivor who was starved of positive attention her entire fucking life

of course she wants to be a hero because of mindfang and because she’s a glory hound and etc, but it also boils down to the fact that vriska is literally too. fucking weird to understand “being nice to people” = friends, and probably feels like she’s too far gone for “being nice” to get her anywhere, so she HAS to be the big damn hero. THEN she will have made up for all of her wrongdoings. THEN her friends will truly forgive her. THEN people will like and respect her genuinely instead of hating her and mocking her to her face.

anonymous asked:

do you have any tips for young writers?

Read widely, and deeply, and over again. Reading is not an avoidance of writing; I think it’s study. The more you read, the better you understand what language is capable of — specifically on a technical level, how it functions, or might be worked into functioning, in the telling of X. And discerning how someone else’s sentences work, or someone else’s poems break, or why precisely you need to go for a walk after reading someone else’s essay is not copy or emulation, but apprenticeship. (Frank McCourt: ”He says, Ah, boys, boys, You can make up your own minds but first stock them. Are you listening to me? Stock your minds and you can move through the world resplendent.”) Surround yourself with evidence of what language can do and it will agitate and add to your own perspective, which is the seat of your own voice.

Don’t think too much about audience. Write first of all for yourself, on behalf of what moves and matters to you, and maybe second of all for a few people you love. I think write to them, rather than for or at or, strictly speaking, about them? While I’m sure these are, in some sense, four distinct actions, I also suspect — I mean, I personally find — there’s a lot of overlap. These people you love might be writers, too, whose work and minds you admire, and whose reactions you trust; they might not be writers at all. But it helps to have a small, grounding faction outside of yourself: a spotting mechanism, not for approval but as a gauge of your own patterns.

Be prepared for rejection, of course. I would not put—especially in the context of just starting out—too much emphasis on publication, or really much at all. Don’t be in a rush. (Having said that, I’ve been in a rush before; it’s a good lesson and a good feeling, but learn it and move on.) Don’t bother trying to decode shades of rejection in a response. Instead, do try to sit through several stages of thinking something is Done. I don’t know if I know when something is done, but I’ve learned to ride out the exhilaration of having written a piece: to expect the doubt and not short-circuit it, to go back and reconsider, and to do this maybe, probably, several times. And on the question of rejection: it will happen a lot, and you can’t know the reason in each instance. A lot of extremely-competant-to-unimpeachable-to-truly-great writing is turned down because of space or length or outside/contractual deadline or notable similarity to something else recently accepted. When you are sending your work out, try to keep both these things in mind: that it may not be about your work, and that your work may not be ready.

Keep a list of passages from literature that move you. Make playlists of songs that round out or score what you’re trying to write, if that feels like a natural and adjacent organizing point re: themes and feeling – a mutable soundtrack to your narrative-in-progress, an inexact mirror. (But maybe don’t listen to the playlists while you write; I don’t know about that.) (I’m extremely unmusical, and not even adept at expressing what I’m responding to in music or why, but a song can lay me out for a day or more. Once, a friend who is widely artistically talented said she thought she might be so enamored of music in part because it eludes her creatively. I think this is right: the marooning comes about precisely because I lack musical talent or inclination, because I am so inarticulate about how other people’s talent operates and affects, because it would seem I am never able to do anything about [the feeling]. I am unequipped to respond; my reaction gets lodged. So on one hand, when I’m writing I’m often trying, in the context of my subject, to pin down, put words to, this actual feeling — the visceral lodging/dislodging — that music sometimes generates. On the other, I’m challenged by the dubious prospect of cultivating the feeling for effect, of learning how to generate it and deliver it to the page myself, from scratch or somewhat at will.) What I mean to say is music might be another check, like people. And this other check may not be music, but painting or photography or fabric or—.

This is advice is never far from me:

Eileen Myles

Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille

Elena Ferrante

Octavia Butler

On that last bit: make writing a daily habit, no matter how little time you may be able to give it. You will have to learn for yourself when to push through blockage or malaise or distractibility, and when to go for that proverbial or actual walk. Whatever your habit entails, keep at it. I’m excited for you. xo

How to Get the Most Out of Your Tarot Reading

Tarot readings are cool, but why not make them AWESOME? Here’s some ways you can be sure to get the most out of your divination situation.

🔮Have a Question In Mind- This sounds pretty obvious, but it’s astounding how many people I read for that have no idea what they want out of it. Wanting a general reading is fine, but definitely have an answer to the question “what would you like to know?” when you sit down/place an order. Thinking about what you want helps you solidify the question with the cards, and helps you avoid thinking an hour later, “Drat! I should have asked about _____.”

🔮Think about How You Frame your Question- Tarot has different strengths and weaknesses, like any divination form. Playing to these strengths will help your reader give you a more fulfilling answer! For example, I once had a querent purchase multiple readings from me asking for very specific times of things. While tarot CAN be used in that way, it is much harder and in my experience usually comes at the expense of more valuable information. A better version of, “when will X happen?” is “what will make X happen?” or “What must I do before X?” That way you know if X requires specific action on your part, instead of sitting around waiting for “Oh, maybe about three months” and nothing happening. Phrasing your question in a way that milks the most information out of the cards makes for a better reading!

🔮Know Your Reader- First and foremost, a tarot reader is not the same as a psychic. A lot of psychics use tarot cards as a tool, but most people just offering readings can’t tell you the name of your future spouse or the color of your great-grandfather’s shirt when he died. Secondly, every reader is different! Some are intuitive readers and pull cards from the middle of the deck, some have you choose the cards, others deal from the top, and that’s just one example. Every reader has a different style to their interpretation that makes for a unique experience, so if possible, be picky with who you choose to purchase from. Some readers work better with certain types of questions. Maybe some give more detail in their interpretations. Some readers tell a little story about each card, which people can like or dislike. Some have trouble delivering bad news. Some just may not resonate with you! If you have the ability to check out multiple readers, especially online, definitely do so and find one who you think lines up with your needs the best.

🔮Don’t Be Afraid to Confide- The phrase, “I have a question in mind, but I’m not going to tell you” makes me want to rip my hair out. In my experience, people do this less because they want answers and more because they want to be impressed by a display of Tarot’s accuracy and the reader’s intuitiveness. They want to see the reader still pick up on the Truth with no outside input. This is all fine and dandy, but it’s not going to give you a lot of information. Why? It’s going to be vague! I can’t connect the dots as well if I don’t have half of them. It’s okay to give me some information about your question; it helps me pick out signs I may have not found significant without context. That said, I understand the fear of just having a reader use your words to tell you what you already know and call it divination. So don’t feel like you need to over share, either! If you want to know about whether to break up with your partner over that argument two days ago or not, a simple, “I’ve been having relationship problems and would like some insight on how to move forward.” Should work fine. That should allow you to still get a display of the reader’s intuitive ability (identifying the specifics of your situation) while still getting an actual answer.

🔮Interpret For Yourself- Yeah yeah, do my job for me. But not quite. Sometimes there are symbols that strike us that the reader may not emphasize in their interpretation. You know yourself better than they do, after all. If you think the cards are saying something extra to you, feel free to include that in your personal takeaway! If a reader asks, “what does this mean to you?/does anything stand out to you?” (this happens more in person than online) it’s totally okay to say, “I find X really interesting because Y. How do you think that ties in with the rest of the reading?” Feel free to start a conversation over it. Pick these cards apart with your reader. I, at least, love when querents do this. It shows they’re invested and engaged, and it lets me pull even more information out for them.

🔮Take a Picture- If you can. Sometimes online readings come with a photo of your spread! (Mine do.) Look back on the photo with a fresh mind later and reflect on it. Have you come up with any new personal interpretations for it? (Once I had a reading that I thought was about starting a business, but realized later it was about me writing a book!) What do each the cards actually mean? Are there any patterns in the spread you notice? It can also be fun to look back on it much later and see how accurate it was!

🔮Get Readings from Multiple People- I like a little variety, but I also just like people. I have people I go to for when I need a really solid dependable reading, but I also enjoy talking to other readers and seeing how they do it differently. I know it’s helped me improve a lot as a reader. If you’re able, consider getting your question answered through multiple sources (but be respectful, we’re still people.) See if there are any common threads between the two interpretations (it happens quite frequently.) See how they differ! It’s more work and money but is usually fairly interesting.

🔮Don’t Take it Too Seriously- At the end of the day, getting a reading is not going to change your life. Only you do that. While tarot can be a magnificent tool for insight, it is not an actual changing force in and of itself. Don’t stress too hard over it and be sure to use it alongside your own judgement, intuitiveness, heart, and common sense. And most importantly, enjoy it for the sake of enjoying an art form!

If you’d like to purchase a reading from me, you can do so here!

Originally posted by limoniume

“why did this thing that I spent 40 hours on get only 10 notes but this sketch I made in 10 minutes get 34892034 notes”

Ideas.

Specifically.

What ideas do your works convey? What does your work say to someone with zero context?

Talking specifically about Tumblr (and I guess this also is how Twitter and Facebook would work), let’s ignore tags and searches for a moment.

The only other way for your works to spread is via sharing from other people.

The best way to prompt this is for the work in question to have a particular quality that’s uniquely interesting or relatable. We’ll call the desire to reblog something ‘intrigue.’

A lot of people want to blame the lack of virility of a post on it not being NSFW or fanservice or not being part of a fandom. In reality that anger is slightly misplaced: rather works of those nature usually just better express the ideas they want, and they’re often easier ideas to identify. Fanservice wants to be sexy or NSFW wants to appeal to a specific fetish–it’s a very direct and simple relationship. Fandom works usually combine the intrigue from being fandom content with other ideas I’ll mention later. Plus, if the people making these complaints only draw one thing, they don’t really know how successful their work would be if they tried the concepts they’re complaining about. It’s difficult to compare the viral-ness of two unrelated artists.

Generally comparisons like that have to be from the same person. Going to the example in the title, almost every time the comparison I see made is between a generic but well-done picture that doesn’t really say anything, and a sketch comic based on a funny situation. Both of these are by the same person, so we can assume they have about the same potential.

To get it out of the way: quality can affect intrigue–high quality works need to stand on their own if they don’t have any other themes going on, which is insanely difficult. Quality usually does help however, especially for more dramatic themes and ideas. Low quality however (such as badly drawn comics) actually can help act as a form of exaggeration, making a comedic situation that much funnier. It actually assists in transmitting the idea. You have to understand how that works to exploit it, however. Technical skill with art always helps–be it through rendering ability or dynamic posing or whatever, though sometimes that skill also means knowing when to tone it down.

Generic front facing pictures of unnamed OCs looking off to the left don’t bring a lot of intrigue because they don’t really say anything other than ‘this is my OC,’ no matter how hard you work on it. You’re banking on technical skill demonstration at that point.

“But I don’t want to draw lewds or stuff for a fandom I just wish my own stuff and stuff I liked got more reblogs.” Don’t we all? But don’t assume that existence alone will be enough to get its ideas out there. Do something with its existence.

It’s kinda broad and feels like overly simply advice, but try and think of scenarios for what you want to draw or ways to make it relatable. Try telling a story, even if it’s 100% visual and just a single scene, be it comedic or dramatic or whatever have you. They don’t have to be complex–just as long as you’re transmitting stronger ideas. And, even completely ignoring notes for a moment, this is honestly something worth practicing just from a creative standpoint.

It might not make your posts as popular as others, and it won’t automatically just happen overnight, but it’ll definitely help.

Signaling Vs. Seeding

Hello everyone! I’ve been meaning to make this post for awhile since I don’t see a lot of distinction between these two things when queerness is discussed in the fandom. They’re sort of used interchangeably when they’re actually wildly different things with wildly different functions. As always, it’s an opinion based on my own experiences, so you’re welcome to take it or leave it, but I haven’t seen anything discussing this particular issue before and it’s something that really bothers me, as it’s harmful and often rooted in homophobia to misconstrue queer signaling as some type of public performance and I see it being done constantly in this fandom.

Also, I use the word “queer” freely in this post as an umbrella term to mean not straight. If that offends you, quit here.

Keep reading

bananannabeth  asked:

hey fee, what's going on?? i havent properly been on tumblr in like a week and a half or read tdp because uni is taking up all my time but i just saw your post and??? omg??? what??? im really sorry and i hope youre okay (i know that sounds shallow but like.. as okay as you can be when people are obviously being idiots)

usually i wouldn’t answer this publicly but like i am genuinely shocked by the vitriol being targeted at lesbians right now and like it’s the most thinly veiled attacks i’ve ever seen, people are barely even bothering to try and disguise what this is really about (read: “shut up you evil dykes we’re sick of listening to you complain about lesbian issues and we want to be left alone”). it’s gone like way beyond the realm of fandom discourse at this point.

an overview of what happened:

  • the dark prophecy was released a few weeks ago (so, spoilers for that, but it’s really not a big spoiler and i kept it quite vague and tbh y’all should probably read this anyway because like i said, it’s gone way beyond the realm of fandom discourse at this point).
  • it contains an older lesbian couple, who had to leave the hunters of artemis because they fell in love and wanted to be together. upon meeting them, one of the characters mentions that they thought it was only men the hunters of artemis swore off of, but the apollo corrects them and says it’s actually all romance.
  • (it’s worth mentioning that apollo says this bitterly. as in: he doesn’t approve or agree. and not for nothing, i might be projecting, but it sounds a lot less like “i’m a god with an overactive sex drive and my sister’s such a PRUDE” and a lot more like “i’m bisexual and i feel uncomfortable with this rule”)
  • this lesbian couple is upset about leaving the hunters. they wouldn’t have done so if they hadn’t had to, they say it was their family, but they had to leave because they loved each other more.
  • apollo mentions that they parted on good terms with artemis, because “she let you live” (good terms, those). the hunters visit them sometimes. artemis does not.
  • so, it is now canon that the hunters of artemis do not condone love between lesbian couples, and lesbian and bi girls who fall in love are no longer welcome in the hunt.
this doesn’t sit well with me, or several other lesbians and bi girls (or apollo, or the lesbian couple themselves, it seems like).
for several reasons:
  • grouping in heterosexual love in the exact same category as lesbian love is homophobic. it’s not a discussion of “equality” but rather an acknowledgement that lesbian love as it exists in the world today is socially taboo and forbidden, and thus banning lesbian love has the potential to do much, much more damage than banning heterosexual love.
  • implying that all romance, and in this case specifically lesbian romance, is against a code of honor, is homophobic. there’s just no way around this. actively being uncomfortable with lesbians in love for no other reason than the fact that they’re in love carries massively homophobic connotations with it. it just does. sneering at all romance doesn’t negate this problem. lesbians can be hurt in ways that straight girls cannot. sneering at their romance is homophobic, because as much as we all might hate it, the world is homophobic and banning lesbian romance absolutely does reinforce this system of homophobia. it does. (this is like, oppression basics, u guys. if u pretend oppression isn’t there, ur siding with the oppressor. “i don’t see differences in sexuality and hate all romance equally” = “i do not acknowledge that some of you need different precautions and protections because you are systematically oppressed in ways that others are not”). we are not all socially equal. we’re not starting on the same playing field. heterosexual love is not a social taboo, lesbian love is, case in point: it hurts lesbians much worse to ban their love than it does straight people. not to mention that it’s triggering for people who have been in spaces that actually did ban lesbianism (hi, me, it wasn’t a fun time, and i don’t appreciate the hunters having any resemblance to my hellish private school experience).
  • artemis is evidently quite hostile towards lesbians..for being lesbians. like, loving women is what makes you a lesbian, and if that bothers her so much that they can’t even be around her and be together…i mean, what can we conclude about her? shunning all love, in this case, specifically lesbian love, and apparently not even having it off the table that she might decide to kill them, is homophobic. it doesn’t work like “oh well she’s uncomfortable with all love in general.” you can’t hide bigotry by widening the radius of people you hate. you will never be able to disguise homophobia by also hating straight people. if anything, that’s even more homophobic, because it lumps us right in under a massive group of “people who fall in love” which…includes straight people, who systematically oppress us. not a fan of being compared to my oppressors. certainly not a fan of being banished alongside them.
  • it’s very important to note that plenty of lesbians feel this is a complete misrepresentation of artemis and the hunt, and are quite upset that someone they identified with apparently hates them. (and she does. artemis wants nothing to do with lesbians who are in love, refuses to allow them to be in love and also in her hunt, gave them an ultimatum between her and each other, would consider murdering them).
  • like, we’re not working off nothing, here. artemis has ABSOLUTELY historically been associated with lesbianism. i’m not pulling this out of my ass, okay. lesbian themes are present in tons of artemis’ myths, her “loving women” is mentioned in virtually everything ever written about her. granted, it’s never specified to be romantic or sexual, but keep in mind the time that these myths were being recorded and who was doing the recording (read: men who thought lesbianism wasn’t real). many hellenic wlw follow artemis today precisely for this reason. separating artemis from lesbianism is Not The Best Move rick’s ever had lmao.
  • the oath specifically says no men in titan’s curse. it absolutely does. if you assumed this also meant no romance at all, that’s on you and your heteronormative thinking, bud. but it reads “I, [name], pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the hunt.”
  • pledging “eternal maidenhood” means “i’ll be a virgin” in children’s book speak. if you don’t believe me, notice how they refer to athena as a “maiden” goddess, but really mean “she can’t naturally conceive children [because she’s celibate].” they don’t mean “she’s single,” they mean “she doesn’t have sex.” maiden is a nicer term, but it means virgin: [adjective 1. (of a woman, especially an older one) unmarried. synonyms: unmarried, spinster, unwed, unwedded, single, husbandless, celibate.] we’re all familiar with the concept that you’re only allowed to have sex after you’re married to a man, right? well, that’s the assumptions this word was created under. don’t play dumb and try and say maidenhood means being eternally single; we all know what it really means and why the term exists. it doesn’t say wifeless, or even spouseless, it says husbandless. nobody was thinking about lesbians when they defined that word and rick wasn’t thinking about lesbians when he wrote the oath. thus: artemis is a virgin goddess who accepts virgins who pledge a vow of eternal virginity. that makes sense, because atemis is indeed a virgin goddess (literally the goddess of virginity) and some of her worst myths involve her kicking out hunters for “losing their virginity.” that’s got it’s own set of problems.
  • and yes, i am aware that artemis also explains the hunters “foreswear romantic love forever.” yeah, i got it. but she says this sentence in clarification to percy’s question—artemis says they’re immortal unless they break their oath. percy asks what oath. artemis says “to foreswear romantic love forever.” and as i just explained, the oath does not say that. she might’ve specified romantic love, but like, can we not play dumb here? it’s heteronormative. nuns also take a chastity pledge, but do we expect that this applies to gay nuns? no, we really don’t. like, don’t lie and say you were some enlightened ten year old being who read this line and thought “oh, thanks for clarifying artemis, i was wondering about lesbians.”
  • there’s like, an actual reason that artemis and her hunters swear off men: they’re dangerous. when she initially began her hunt, her mission was to rescue girls from being sold off to husbands they didn’t want to marry, or escaping abusive situations with their betrotheds and fathers (zoe nightshade, anyone?). i don’t see….when or why that turned into “all romance is distracting and inherently bad.” it’s not really very sensical. romance and sex were never the evils facing the hunt, it was the patriarchy.
  • in short: the hunt has become a hot fucking mess and lesbians (and bi girls but seeing as we’re specifically talking within the context of lesbian love it’s really implied that anyone who has the potential to experience that is part of the discussion) are upset. rick deserves a certain amount of blame for this.

now, see, the problem here that people can’t seem to get through their heads is that we’ve got a right to be upset about this. we are allowed to be upset about confronting homophobia in a character most of us liked and identified with.

  • and us complaining about that, explaining it, and pointing it out is…not “starting discourse”, however much you may think we’re crazy sjw dykes. i’m really not here in general for how any time someone is critical of a piece of media for valid reasons they’re immediately starting “wank” and “discourse.” it’s a misuse of the terms. discourse doesn’t mean “people have an opinion on why their marginalized group was represented badly” and wank doesn’t mean “we think this is homophobic” and you calling it that is a pathetic excuse to ignore what we’re saying. which is not to mention how incredibly transparent it is—discourse goes on in this fandom all the time. literally all the time. i’ve never seen anyone complain half as much about “fandom discourse” before as i have this past week.
  • and then there’s people derailing the conversation by making it about aroace erasure. first of all, it’s possible to like, talk about multiple things at the same time and there’s no reason why us discussing lesbians should have any bearing on aroace representation. second of all…. the hunters are like, not… technically even aroace? taking a vow of chastity and swearing off men is now equivalent to being aroace? does nobody see a problem with that? i’m stunned that people weren’t angry about that, to be honest, since it’s not exactly Controversial or New to say that asexuality does not equal celibacy and aromanticism does not equal an… eternal no romance pledge or whatever the fuck the oath even means anymore. like, cool, i understand you might be more inclined to take the oath if you didn’t experience sexual or romantic attraction, but that’s still a far cry from saying all of the hunters are aro and ace (and that’s. clearly not true. because some of them break their oaths. or join because they’ve been scorned by men they’ve fallen in love with).
  • which like, not to mention that they’re pretty hideous representation for you in general if they literally kill people who wind up falling in love? like, that’s your holy grail of representation? “you must have parted on good terms, she let you live” like okayyyy so you mean artemis’ typical course of action in dealing with girls who fall in love is to murder them? the fuck is wrong with yall 
  • people are actually offering this up as a benchmark for why artemis isn’t homophobic. she murders hunters who fall in love with men, but she let the lesbians live. like. this is the benchmark for lesbian allyship now, apparently. holy hell, people.
  • but sure, yeah, artemis, aroace patron goddess, who murders hunters that fall in love and refuses to offer protection to lesbians because they also fall in love, and calls love a “distraction” and thus pretends she’s the Enlightened One who isn’t sullied by romance. good one, guys. if that’s what you’re celebrating, and furthermore, if that’s the representation i’m “erasing” by talking about lesphobic issues, not only are you homophobic but like you’re just a plain old misogynist lmao. i don’t condone literally killing girls for falling in love and i certainly fucking thought it would go without saying that you people don’t condone that either, but apparently not! fucking hell.
  • which, anyway, even working under the assumption that it was good aroace representation, to accuse lesbians of erasure for being critical of how lesbianism is portrayed in a book? as if we were the ones who decided to include an ex-hunters lesbian couple? but we’re the ones who are guilty of the erasure for..what..talking about it? being angry? saying it’s homophobic? being upset that lesbians aren’t allowed in the hunt?
  • like, look, if artemis was presented in canon as someone who doesn’t experience attraction and started a convent for other girls who don’t, well that would be different, wouldn’t it? but she’s not presented that way. she’s apparently the patron to all women, so long as they don’t date men. zoe nightshade says she’ll accept anyone who takes the oath, no matter their species, and definitely regardless of their sexuality as well (because at the very least, zoe, the literal lieutenant, most definitely had other reasons for joining than being aroace, as did thalia, the current lieutenant, and emmie and jo are obviously not aroace yet still took the oath once, and annabeth even thought about taking the oath). it’s not, and never has been, about lack of romantic attraction. it’s about eternally swearing off all romance and banning love because love is bad.
  • i guess we all should’ve known this considering silena is all up in arms about the hunters telling her “love is worthless” in ttc, but damn call me stupid for daring to hope that as rick began to confront the rampant heteronormativity in his books we might have this patched up, too.
  • pro tip for like literally anything ever: if a marginalized group speaks up and says “hey that’s hurting us” you change your goddamn rules so it’s not anymore. like, for fucks sake, think about this in literally any other context but “lesbians are infiltrating artemis’ precious aroace safe space with their romance” and you’ll realize what condescending, homophobic fucks y’all are behaving like right now.
  • on another note: i have expressly explained this before, many times (there’s a link to one of them earlier in this post, and here’s another one), but it apparently bears repeating because nobody seems to understand: virginity is bullshit. it’s bullshit. it’s oppressive, invasive, creepy, misogynistic bullshit. will you stop pulling out this tired old argument that lesbians being allowed in the hunt somehow makes them invalidated? the idea that romance is distracting is stupid and ridiculous and condescending as fuck. the idea that your sexual history is anybody’s business but your own is disgusting. there’s no reason lesbians shouldn’t be able to be together in the hunters. there’s really not. there is a reason men are not allowed, and the reason is it’s a women’s space, to literally protect women from men.
  • this new information about the hunters cheapens the whole goddamn thing. like aside from being homophobic, it’s just plain sexist, now, too—we don’t swear off men because we’re making a statement about our lives in relation to the patriarchy, oh no!! we’re making a statement against romance. romance is bad. that’s the problem. who cares about protecting women from men? certainly not us, because we’ll kill you if you get abused by them! better keep your v card honey, or i’ll turn you into a bear!
  • and that brings me to the whole other subset of people trying to derail the conversation by making it about..rick hate? lol what? that rick is our ally and we should be grateful and he’s not perfect and he’s learning??? yeah, okay, i’m sure the answer to this is for all of us to just never talk about it at all? we’re not allowed to critique our own goddamn representation? how the fuck is he supposed to learn if you just try and smother everyone who tries to critique him by saying “HE’S A GOOD ALLY WHO IS STILL LEARNING!” like…cool? and i’m teaching him that i don’t approve of any of this, and i think it was a really underhanded way to represent us, not to mention still has gaping flaws in it?
  • like, yeah, whatever, i get it, artemis has her hideous flaws in greek myths as well. poseidon’s a rapist, hades’ is an abusive stalker, zeus is a megalomaniac serial rapist, but it’s not as though those were the characters rick chose to make look this bad, now was it? nope, it was artemis. he didn’t have to do that.
  • and even if he did, honestly, at the end of the day…who cares? it doesn’t matter who first created artemis this way. the fact of the matter is that in the series, she is, and that’s homophobic. it doesn’t negate the fact that we’re reeling from encountering homophobia from the hunters. it certainly doesn’t give anyone a license to tell us to shut up and get over it and stop talking and stop blaming rick. it’s homophobic. we’re allowed to talk about it, and be upset about it. let us fucking be.
  • of course the most hilarious thing is that this wouldn’t have even turned into “discourse” in the first place if y’all had just shut your fucking mouths and listened to us. instead, you started arguing, spreading around passive aggressive posts calling us too angry and telling us to chill out, sent us anon hate, blocked us, unfollowed us, and started complaining about all the other things i listed that are just fundamentally missing the point.

anonymous asked:

I don't wanna call it too soon but this is the CUTEST PHIL LS maybe ever. Can't wait for you to say a little on it (especially re his many verbal eyerolls at chat, and the cat paintings...)

ughhhh yes there were definitely so, so many cute little anecdotes and jokes, and a lot of interesting tidbits that i took note of while watching: 

  • he opens the show by saying that he “welcomes” people calling him dad and appreciates all the father’s day messages. amazing
  • he bought his own dad a tasting selection of jams and marmalades which immediately made me irate bc it sounds like the perf gift for my father except i would never think of it bc i’m not as creative as phil ugh. phil probs buys everyone the best presents and i’m envious of people who are good at that
  • i loled at the fact that some vintage family drama sent like nine of phil’s great uncles to australia why is that so funny. also hearing re-confirmation of just how huge phil’s family is was kind of refreshing
  • the whole centipede anecdote killed me omg jst the image of phil freaking out and calling dan into the room (whether it was in his bedroom or somewhere else, i don’t rly feel like weighing in on that debate) and then dan obviously proceeding to freak out even more than phil (which we can very vividly picture based on his reactions in the piece of art that is phil lester vs. praying mantis.) it was just such a cute story lmao, i loved the way that phil called the bug a creepy crawly and said, ‘dan’s not a fan of those creepy crawlies either’ ughghghghhh. and i love that phil is definitely forever and always going to be the designated bug-catcher in their house even though he’s scared of bugs too, jst bc dan is always too busy having an actual breakdown any time he sees an insect
  • the random interjection of him screaming ‘bear’ from the bear kayak video made me lol
  • when he’s talking about bryony’s cat paintings and says he and dan are the only ppl who like them, i like that they pretty much always share tastes in everything, be less conjoined pls 
  • him narrating his thought process when he bought the fairy light twigs: ‘what i need in my life is some light-up sticks’
  • his plan to change up the dresser trinkets for every video is interesting and referring to the setup as a ‘tableau’ lmao–as i’ve said multiple times i don’t believe this room is his primary living quarters so i def took this idea to change up the background every time he films as further confirmation that this room is basically a set 
  • martyn has been in a ‘plane incident’ at one point in his life, didn’t know that
  • the way he talked about louise’s baby was so cuteeeee, his huge grin, the way he immediately went into a higher pitched voice, cheeky suggesting ‘phil’ as a name and then saying philippa could be a boy’s name but getting a bit nervous to make the general point about not needing to gender names and just saying ‘i mean’ a lot and giggling. then his feigned indignation when someone suggested ‘daniel’ lol he’s cute
  • learning dil was pregnant made him want to ‘rip his face off’ ok calm down mate
  • the fidget spinner omg: the way that he needed to make clear that it was no ‘2 pound friend present’ lmao i read this as him jokingly being a bit salty that dan didn’t appreciate all of the time and effort and ‘good money’ he put into this loving and thoughtful gift ahhaha. it was jst such a comfortable and warm little comment i loved it. and i love that he thinks it’s beautiful bc of the colors and i was lit dying at the whole story of him lying on the floor and trying to show off to dan that he could balance it on his nose and then utterly failing. adds more context to the way that dan was so fond last week when he talked about phil injuring himself with it
  • he doesn’t like killing animals, and always finds a way to trap them and throw them outside 
  • when someone asks him to give them a nickname and he comes up with, ‘ma more like mars expedition’.. wtf he’s adorable
  • kath could ‘open a brownie farm’ PHIL PLS 
  • ‘stop calling me dad though bc it’s inappropriate,’ he says with a barely concealed smile as he complies with everyone’s wishes to clean them. why does he love being called dad i need to lie down 
  • traditional lester thing is to get fish and chips when they’re all together
  • his sheer excitement about wonder woman was amazing omg. ‘she kicks so much butt but she has a personality and more movies should be made with a woman as the main character like that’ yAS phil 
  • thoughts on chris pine: he originally jst says he’s ‘funny’ but then when someone in the chat says ‘chris pine is fricking hot,’ he basically agrees and adds that he is ‘distracting’ and ‘radiating out of his face … what is that face? how do you achieve such a face?’ fucking amazing.
  • he always finds coins that are from 1997 lmao only he would notice that and think it’s some secret conspiracy by the universe jst to fuck with him
  • this week’s beauty tips:
    • change your face wash every 3-4 months because your face gets used to it. also you might want your face to smell like something different (his face currently smells of tree sap)
    • don’t spray hair spray directly into your mouth bc it tastes really bad and probably isn’t good for your health
    • drink lots of water (again)
    • put tea bags on your eyes and the caffeine will make you feel more energized and also you’ll look beautiful with teabags on your eyes
  • i’m certain that phil giggling, ‘but they’ve seen it from space and it’s a globe!’ single-handedly debunked the flat earth conspiracy
  • he goes ‘poot’ when he sprays febreze,,,, jesus christ. also of course he had a vanilla cupcake scented air freshener once,,,, have i mentioned that i am so fucking in love with phil jesUS 
  • his spon of dan’s vid was interesting to me, he kind of seemed to think of it at the very last moment even after he’d said goodbye to a bunch of people, and focused more on sponning it than sponning his own vid or anything from the gaming channel. he said it was ‘very funny’ which i’ll admit only added to my confusion about the objective or intention of dan’s video bc it didn’t strike me as trying to be comedic in any way. i wonder if phil genuinely found it funny and what he liked about it hahah, i honestly would pay for him to give it an honest review
  • his lil meows at the end before he clicked out were v pure i adore him

ya i love phil, ik it’s breaking news to yall but i really, really do. his live shows are always exactly what i need and he makes me so happy 

(phil live show: giant centipede attack - 6.18.17)