(for making me complicit for making me a murderer of all those people

GoT Afterthoughts 7x05 Eastwatch (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

Hello loves and welcome to another edition of GoT Afterthoughts. Welp. It wasn’t the best episode, but it’s what I expected, tbh. The next ep. is the penultimate, so I figured it’d be a little lackluster. All in all, I didn’t think it was that bad.

So we begin our episode downstream from the field of fire 2.0 … Bronn’s head breaks the water, and then Jamie’s. They have a bit of their usual banter -Bronn telling Jamie he can’t die until he pays him, but when the Dragons come to KL, he’s peacin’ out, Cub Scout! ✌🏻

Side note: I love when Bronn calls Jamie a cunt!!

It cuts over to Tyrion walking amidst the death and ashes, looking a mixture of horrified, sad and regretful. The Dothraki are picking spoils from the remains -as is their custom. He watches as the remaining living soldiers that have been rounded up, are marched where Dany stands on a large boulder, Drogon perched on the larger rock behind her -shrieking, or whatever the hell it is that Dragons do.

Dany starts another one of her speeches. She appeals to them with her past “slave rhetoric” –

“I know what Cersei has told you, that I’ve come to murder you” (you mean like you just did??)

And I’m paraphrasing …

“All I want to do is destroy the wheel that’s kept you all oppressed, Cersei is bad, I’m on your side. Bow to me and you will be saved. Bend the knee or die …yada yada yada”

A few of the men bend. Drogon turns and roars at the crowd, and a bunch more drop down. Dany calls Lord Tarly forward. Tyrion tries to reason with him, but Tarly basically says he won’t support a foreign leader with no ties to this land who has an army of savages at her back. Dude, Tarly is a giant asshat, but I can respect that. Again, Tyrion tries to intervene -suggesting he be sent to the Wall instead. Tarly refuses and says that Dany doesn’t have the authority to send him to the wall, as she’s not his queen.

Annnnnnnd then Dickon steps forward like -ya know, a dick. An honorable dick, I suppose -but still, a stupid one. Tyrion pretty much says the same thing I just did -don’t be a dick, Dickon, and Lord Tarly even agrees with a nod, but apparently, stubbornness runs in the Tarly family.

Tyrion tries desperately to change Dany’s mind, SEVERAL TIMES, making a comment “when you start beheading entire families ..” but she cuts him off with “I’m not beheading them.” Yes, because burning them is so much better. 🙄

Ominous music thrums in the background, Tyrion’s chest is heaving, the Tarly’s look nervous (dad grabs son’s arm), Dany levels their death sentence then calmly says dracarys. As they fall burning to the ground, the rest of the soldiers fall to their knees with one look from Drogon.

We head to KL, and Jamie basically tells Cersei that they can’t win this war. She throws some cheap shots at him before Jamie tells her that Olenna was the one that poisoned Joffrey. Cersei is skeptical at first, but accepts it. Cersei is refusing to submit. She’ll fight and die and she expects Jamie to do the same.

And we’re at Dragonstone now, Jon watches from the cliffs, his incest fur blowing in the wind (and he’s looking mighty fine if I do say so myself), he watches as Drogon flies overhead and lands -then starts charging for him and roaring all intimidating and shit. Like WTF is up with Drogon this episode? He’s being a mouthy little bitch. Did Dany change his food or something, cuz he’s testy as hell!

I don’t know how anyone could look sexy while shitting their pants, but my friends -Jon Snow for the win! 😍

But then, Drogon catches a whiff of Jon’s Targ scent blowing off his incest fur, and mellows out, going completely docile as Jon apprehensively strokes his muzzle. Or maybe Drogon got a whiff of Sansa on Jon’s clothes and he’s in love now too? If that’s the case, he better watch out for Jon Snow murder kitten …. just sayin’.

Dany looks on from Drogon’s back, and I honestly couldn’t tell from her expression whether she was awed or felt threatened? Maybe a bit of both? But hey -why the hell didn’t she stop Drogon from charging Jon in the first place? If she’s so in control of her Dragons? Not cool, pyro chickie, not cool. 😡

She asks “they’re beautiful aren’t they?”, and Jon’s all “umm, yeah …that’s not really what I was thinking, tbh …but suuuuure, we’ll go with that.” And proud mama Dany boasts that no matter how frightening they are to others, they are her children.

Jon asks how it went, noting that it didn’t take too long, and Dany answers that she has considerably less enemies now than she had yesterday. Jon doesn’t look pleased and Dany picks up on that, so she asks him how many men did his army kill when he took back Winterfell (apples and oranges, Dany -but okay). She brings up when he first arrived and Davos said he took a knife in the heart for his people -and Jon quickly shoots back that Davos gets carried away.

Side note: I read the leaked script for this episode, and supposedly the two of them were going to be “joking about being magical” -so those of you who rest all your hopes/belief on these leaks: STOP!

Luckily Jon doesn’t have to explain himself much more because the Dothraki interrupt their convo, and out from behind them steps Jorah!!!! He kneels and Dany introduces them. She tells Jorah that he looks strong and she’s so genuinely happy to see him. Honestly, my heart melted when she embraced him, her eyes falling shut and her squeezing a bit harder. I’ve lowkey shipped them forever. ❤️ aww and their theme song played!!

Another side note: That leaked script also said that Jon would try to give Jorah his father’s sword and Jorah would refuse. That didn’t happen, either …just sayin’.

We’re in the Godswood now and Bran wargs into a flock of ravens and heads over the wall, flying for awhile until they encounter the army of the dead. The NK senses Brans presence, and looks up at the ravens and they all scatter. Bran snaps out of his trance and tells the maester they need to send ravens.

Now we’re at the Citadel, and Sam pops in on the Maesters having some sort of employee meeting, as he drops off a stack of books and scrolls. He overhears them talking about Bran and tries to get them to take the warning seriously, but they are skeptic that it might be a ploy by the dragon queen. The Archmaester says that he’ll get to the bottom of it, and the other maesters poke fun at all the prophesies they’ve heard over the years that never came to fruition. Frustrated, Sam leaves the room, and one of the maesters asks if he’s the one related to the two men who were just burned alive. Harsh bro.

We move to the Dragonstone throne room where Tyrion and Varys are discussing Dany’s latest violent outburst. After taking a few gulps from Tyrion’s wine goblet, Varys recounts a story of serving Dany’s father and how he stood complicit while he burned people, and tells Tyrion he needs to find a way to get Dany to listen. Varys has a Raven message for Jon.

This part kind of pissed me off, because after all that Tyrion saw, he’s still making excuses for Dany. Not entirely -but the “she’s not her father” comment irritated the hell out of me. Is he so blinded by love? But then I thought -maybe he was just saying it more to help convince himself.

We scoot on over to the war room, and Jon has read the message -Arya and Bran are alive, and the dead are advancing on the wall -towards Eastwatch. Time to stop dicking around on Dragonstone -help or not, but Jon is going home. Tyrion cooks up a plan to get proof to show Cersei, as Dany will only help Jon’s cause if Cersei agrees too (this ensures that Cersei won’t march in and take over once Dany marches her army out to help -showing once again that the IT means more than saving the entire realm ..and yet another juxtaposition/foil of Jon).

But like seriously -again, I want to smack the shit out of Tyrion this episode! I love him -he’s one of my favorite characters and he’s proposing some stupid shit like going over the wall to get one soldier to prove it to Cersei??? Seriously??? This shit better not be in the books!

Tyrion thinks he could get Jamie to listen to him and in turn, convince Cersei to meet, provided they bring proof. They look to Davos for his smuggling skills, to smuggle Tyrion into KL, then begin to discuss who will go over the wall. Jon looks down because he knows it has to be him. Jorah interrupts and volunteers. Dany’s head whips around at that. She looks horrified at the thought of losing him again. Jon says the freefolk will help. Davos says the freefolk won’t follow ser Jorah, and Jon says they won’t have to. Davos says he can’t lead a raid beyond the wall -he’s not the Nights Watch anymore, he’s a king, and Jon interrupts his interlude. It was pretty clear to me when he looked down earlier, that he knows it will have to be him. He’s the only one there that’s seen and experienced dealing with WWs (and that’s exactly what he says).

Dany looks straight up on the verge of tears (and Jorah notices). She’s been giving Jon heart eyes this whole episode -clearly she’s crushin’. She tells him she hasn’t given him permission to leave.

Jon claps back: 🔥🔥With respect your Grace, I don’t need permission, I am a king. 🔥🔥

And he asks for her to trust a stranger and work with him, aka: fight with me. And Dany nods her head.

We shoot on over to Winterfell and the Northerners are getting itchy since Jon’s been gone awhile and still isn’t back. Lord Glover and Lord Royce imply that Sansa should be their queen, but Sansa insists they must trust Jon. Arya (who was watching this exchange) follows Sansa back to her chambers and tosses random veiled insults at her -implying that Sansa is still vain and that she wants to seize Jon’s power for herself. I think Sansa held her own pretty well here, but WTF?! Why do they have to do this distrust shit with the Stark sisters? This makes me so damn angry!

@a-baleful-howl called this earlier in the week -that Arya would be jealous -and I vehemently disagreed (politely you Nonny assholes who gave her shit, because that’s how you have a productive conversation) -as I thought that years of separation and thinking the other was probably dead, that the girls had matured and would put family above all because THAT is what Starks do … but nope. I’m still holding onto hope that my Starklings are playing LF -but in the meantime, @a-baleful-howl …enjoy your justice boner.

We’re in KL now, Davos tell Tyrion to hurry, then heads off to flea bottom to look for something. Bronn brings Jamie down to the crypts and then takes off, leaving the Lannister boys to an emotional yet frigid reunion. Tyrion pleads for Jamie’s help in convincing Cersei to meet with Dany. We jump back to Davos who has found what he’s looking for: Gendry! Bless my heart, I’ve missed that adorable little bastard! They head back to the boat to wait for Tyrion and are approached by some gold cloaks who recognize Tyrion, and Gendry quickly dispatches them with his trusty war hammer (like father, like son).

We head up to Cersei’s quarters. Jamie confesses that he met with Tyrion, and Cersei already knows, as she asks him if he’ll be punishing Bronn for his betrayal. She implies she knows everything that’s going on in her city. Cersei agrees to the meeting, but she ma already scheming. She’s got a new lease on life- she’s pregnant. Jamie wants to know who she’ll name as the father, and she says him. She doesn’t care what people think. They kiss passionately, and when they embrace, she warns him not to betray her again.

Now where have we heard that before???

Now we’re back at Dragonstone. Davos and Gendry make their way to the mines and Davos warns Gendry again to keep his identity to himself. Gendry however, immediately does the opposite and our bastard boys bond immediately –and honestly, I am so in love! They are totally my new brotp! ❤️ Gendry insists on coming too, and adopted dad Davos is worried about his boys.

We’re still on the beach, but it’s the next day. Tyrion tells Jorah he missed him, gives him the slavers coin, and tells him to bring it back because the queen needs him. Dany approaches and takes Jordan’s hands affectionately. I kind of feel like Jorah wanted to tell her he loves her, but he sees Jon approaching and kisses her hands, then moves for the boat.

Jon’s goodbye: “Well, if I don’t return, at least you won’t have to deal with the King in the North anymore.”

Dany (heart eyed dreamy stare & sweet voice): “I’ve grown used to him.”

Jon (nonchalantly): “I wish you good fortune in the wars to come, your Grace.” ✌🏻 then immediately heads for the boat.

Dany watches the men haul the boat into the waves, Tyrion watches Dany watching, and Jorah looks back. Jon does not. JON DOESN’T LOOK BACK!!! That’s an epic plus for our ship guys. Lovers last glance is def. a romance trope, and Jon didn’t look back!!!

Okay, whew! I jumped up and flung all the pillows off my couch, and I think my husband is now considering admitting me. 😂😂😂

We head back to the Citadel, and poor Sam looks fucking stressed. Gilly (who loves to read) is telling him about this maester who took meticulous notes (including how many times he dropped a deuce). She asks Sam what an annulment is, and says that in the notes it says this maester preceded over a secret annulment in Dorne, that followed immediately by a wedding -both belonging to none other than Prince Rhaegar. What a dick. Seriously.

Sam has freaking had it! He jumps up, gives little Sammy the book he was working on (and look how much he’s grown) and now we see him unlocking the locked book section and stuffing books and scrolls into a satchel. On his way out, he stops and looks up at the huge thing-amabob on the ceiling one last time while his theme song plays, and then he hops in a wagon with Gilly and they are out. My guess is heading to Winterfell. He’s tired of just reading about the achievements of better men. Dammit Sam Tarly, you get in the precious dewdrop category with Davos!

Speaking of Winterfell, LF is doing his creepy shit -meeting with a girl from wintertown. She gives him something, and Arya is watching in the shadows. He heads back to his room and someone approaches him (a maester?) who says something about the former maesters archives. LF asks if he’s sure it’s the only copy and then tells the dude that Lady Stark thanks him for his service.

Arya who watches the exchange in the shadows, waits for him to leave his room, then picks the lock and searches for the slip of paper. Eventually she finds it in a tear in his mattress. What he hid, appears to be the message that Sansa had sent to Robb after their father was killed (the letter Cersei had her write). As Arya leaves the room, LF emerged from the shadows with his sinister grin. 🙄

We stop finally at Eastwatch. The boys head down to the dungeon where the hound and his religious weirdo travel companions are being detained. Gendry’s still pretty pissed at them, and Davos still has his healthy skepticism of this damn religion (and you know I love him so much for that, and I’ll bring it up every damn time, too)!

It ends with all our boys -all hostile towards someone else in the group, heading through the open gate to the other side of the wall.

So a few things to note here: the leaks aren’t always accurate. This was one of those episodes. I was really hoping that Jon and the Hound would share some words on Sansa and Arya, but maybe that will be next week.

Overall, it wasn’t too bad after a rewatch, and it wasn’t a bad episode for our ship AT ALL. While Dany seems to have some serious heart eyes for our boy, Kit’s just not playing it interested, man.

Thanks for tuning in. See you next week!

Weight of Judgement

When you choose not to vote,  or act, because you don’t want to “condone” the so-called lesser of two evils, you must realize that you are asking other people to potentially shoulder burdens which may be injurious and/or life threatening in order that you keep your so-called ‘principles’.

You are asking minorities and vulnerable people to take up the burden that is yours, as well as their own  and that is being even more complicit in oppression than you are already.

Just because you didn’t want to feel complicit in a system which murders and kills, whichever way it goes? None of us are clean. Far bloody from it.

The question we must all ask: What good did your choice make, in the world? Did it do anything except mean you could keep your principles?

We are all part of an horrific system. Every day we don’t try to change things, for the better, is being even more complicit in the system of oppression in which we are all participating.

Your moral judgement has weight which is borne by others. They are paying for your choice. If you had voted or acted, even by placing your inaction in an effective context, you might have changed things. For better, or for worse.

But feeling good about yourself because you didn’t act, while others have to deal with the consequences? That’s not shouldering the burden, engaging in solidarity with the oppressed and using one’s privilege to raise folk up.

That’s not taking responsibility. It’s ivory tower intellectualism. It’s privilege made manifest, And it extends beyond Trump/Clinton into the whole worldview - the idea that the feelings of the one always outweigh the needs of the larger many - which is classic individualistic neoliberal late-stage capitalism ideology.

I respect the fact that it is a matter of conscience and belief for many. I have a lot of respect for those who have principles and stick to them - despite how things may be read. There are however, people who bear the burden and consequences of you not voting or acting;  the negative consequences of the current US administration are borne disproportionately by minorities and the vulnerable, are they not?

What I cannot understand is those who state that they had ‘no regrets’. If I had done as them, I would have had regrets, just as I have regrets every time I vote, or make a choice which indirectly makes me more complicit in systems of oppression (which is most of them).

The system we are all embedded in is dirty and oppressive as hell. 99% of all actions we take contribute to that - but some less than others. Navigating our way to, and enacting these choices which are less oppressive, and thus lead to even less oppressive and downright liberating choices seems to be the way to go,

My regrets serve to remind me never to rest on my laurels - to acknowledge that I as a member of a vulnerable minority, am capable also of acts that contribute to the oppression of others.

I am not clean. I’m not ideologically pure, and the implication that it is possible to be ideologically pure, or pure in any way, where pure is also synonymous with superior leads to dangerous, toxic, and highly oppressive modes of thoughts and actions.

Acts of conscience, even those of inaction, transfer responsibilities onto others. Each Conscientious Objector transfers the responsibility of their fighting onto others, but many assume the burden and responsibility of dangerous non-combat roles, or train themselves in necessary and life-saving skills.

They devote themselves to the Many - by their actions they live their principles, no longer being mere ideology and taking responsible action. It is not about them, no longer about beliefs or intellectual ideals, or scoring points, but about bringing change into the world.

About Service.

I understand it is hard to see yourself as an Oppressor, as an agent of the Archons, an unthinking maintenance person for the Kyriarchy, but this is so. Taking responsibility for, and working to root out that impulse, day by day - that is the way we begin to crawl towards Liberty,  

This is where the “Russian adoptions” angle came from in Trump Jr.’s meeting.

I just finished reading through some testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee from last week and I’m actually stunned that this happened last week and I haven’t seen anything widely shared about it.  To me, this is the most fascinating piece of the Russian Collusion puzzle, it’s still clearly ongoing with lives still in danger, and it would make a fantastic movie.  You can read Bill Browder’s testimony in full, but I'ma try to summarize and pull out the juiciest parts because some of this needs more emphasis than others and some parts need additional context.  

I’ll start with the Russian lawyer who sat down with Trump Jr., Manafort, and Kushner, Natalia Veselnitskaya.

Keep reading

Royai Week 17: Day 5

So this is a combination of angst and fluff. Because I have a pattern this week and can’t simply write fluff to save my life.

Day One Day Two Day Three Day Four

Theme: Letters

Words: 3,994

Riza removed the rest of the hangers from the closet and set them in the box. It was already filled with other miscellaneous items she had found and gathered from around the bedroom. A small bedside lamp, a couple of empty picture frames that had been hidden behind the dresser, one of Hayate’s balls, and an old book about the alchemical properties of gases. Just small things that the movers had missed when they took the large furniture out of the apartment.

Not that they really needed to move the furniture out of the apartment. The presidential mansion would be fully furnished when they moved in.

Keep reading

Heathers: The Musical and it’s Disturbing Romanticization of Veronica and JD

The Heather’s Musical has great songs and good moments of insight. The original movie for me is a love/hate thing. I get how it’s a cult classic, but the disturbing nature of school shootings and homophobia have made it impossible to watch without my stomach turning. The Heather’s Musical is an attempt (though not really a successful one) to modernize the horrifying implications of the original movie while keeping the aesthetic and time period of the 1980s.

But it has a downright pathological need to explain, excuse, and twist EVERYTHING in the original concept of Heather’s in order to make characters likable.  

I just can’t stand Veronica, either in this version or the movie. I always got the impression that she ultimately cared only about herself and when her “teenage bullshit” got a body count, she’s more worried about her college prospects than the fact that she you know, MURDERED someone. In the movie, this is treated as her just being selfish, and it’s kind of the whole point because she becomes more complicit in the muders. But in the musical, it is more understated and it takes the “but she’s so innocent!!! uwu, she can go live a normal life now” route.

I don’t like the fact that Veronica is treated like she’s the victim in all of this. She was an accessory to multiple murders and got away with it. In the movie, she knows that she chose the cup with the lid, and she killed Kurt willingly. I still don’t like the character, but at least the movie doesn’t attempt to make her seem like the tragic victim in all of this. 

At it’s worst, this musical treats the crime of murder like it’s just a faze that white people can go through and live normal lives afterwords without repercussions. Another unfortunate thing that happens all the time in reality.It’s called the Glorification of White Crime. It’s the reason why people are so linent on Veronica and JD, and go on about how much they loved each other when their relationship was based more on Veronica’s pretentious need to be better than the Heather’s without actually breaking away from them for social climbing reasons. In that, she meets JD after he draws a gun at school. And she thinks this is OK for some reason. 

And don’t even get me started on JD. In the movie he’s a total pretentious asshole creep, and in the musical, he is a total pretentious asshole creep who is just “damaged awwwwwww poooor baby.” The amount of times we hear how he’s essentially a creep and a killer is only further romanticized by the musical attempting to legitimize his character by making him more, well, romantic (ewww). Except that he’s anything but.

I get that it leads up to Veronica being against JD, but it’s a little late for that when three people are dead and you cover up their murders. And not mention, in Seventeen, it’s shown that she’s perfectly willing to ignore that he deceived her, killed her classmates and is generally a dangerous person so they can just move on. Reading all those YouTube comments about how romantic it is and how they wish JD was their boyfriend sends chills up my spine. This is how white people start worshiping serial killers and getting into fandom’s for them. 

This is how it starts and I wish that the musical didn’t romanticize JD. He’s a creep. A killer.

Veronica was perfectly complicit in the murders until it personally affected her. 

It isn’t romantic and never will be. 

Carisi-centric thoughts on Eps 18x20, 18x21

I’m glad that’s over.

Overall Thoughts

This was an intense but unnecessarily convoluted episode. This case could have been solved in fifteen minutes, not two hours. At least it wasn’t another “rich white people he said/she said,” and all the characters got their moment to shine, but I can’t say I enjoyed it. It wasn’t bad, it just kind of dragged. There was no need to stretch this over two episodes. The squad had to track down about twelve different witnesses to the same crime. Eliminate a couple of those witnesses, a few of the racist rants, and a Hallmark moment or three, and you’d have one tight finale.

Benson’s Dilemma

I have to start here.

The characters kept saying it, but I don’t see what was so different about this particular case (other than the fact it was not about rich white people). Hate crimes happen every day. So do rapes and murders. Why would Barba suddenly decide to urge Liv to lie on the stand? That wasn’t just random and out of character, it wasn’t supported by the script.

If they needed Barba to do that to create tension between himself and Liv, if they wanted to make Liv look better by comparison, and more ethical than Barba, they needed to set it up better. I mean, it didn’t even make sense. When Barba was trying to convince Liv, he effectively said “I’m not saying lie, I’m saying maybe the witness was confused,” but what does that have to do with anything? Liv could only testify to what she personally heard. If the witness says, “I told Benson,” Liv can’t say, “oh, I don’t know, maybe she’s confused”. Liv can only say “yes, she told me,” or “no, she didn’t tell me.” Liv can only tell the truth, and she’s certainly not confused, so what was Barba’s point?

Also, we’re supposed to believe Barba would jeopardize his own career (which is already in the shitter, so maybe I’d buy that, actually), but also Liv’s career, and for what? So he wouldn’t lose? For justice? If so, why this case, and not last week’s case? Why not next week’s case? (thank God there’s no next week) Why not every case? Is this something he’s done before? Is this something he’ll do again, if he thinks he can’t win? What are his standards for lying? (probably “is it the season finale?” lol) Does he even have any standards? Where’s the line? Is Barba okay with perjury now? And from now on? Or was it a one-time thing?

Dodds Thoughts

I wish the writers had chosen Dodds Sr. as the only character to gently goad Liv into lying. That would have been enough. I don’t see why Barba had to compromise his own ethics. As a matter of fact, I loved the Dodds Sr./Olivia scene. It’s worth noting that Dodds Sr. didn’t actually try to sway her directly, not like Barba did. Dodds Sr. just offered her some perspective, and shared his own experiences. I loved that he said he had played it both ways, in the past. That was believable, for a cop in his position. It was subtle, and beautifully played, and well-written.

Bottom line, Dodds Sr. still let Liv make up her own mind. Barba tried to be cute, all “lol she was confused, Liv, can’t you say you were confused too? Pretty please?” which kinda rubbed me the wrong way. And Liv clearly felt the same. Compare her reaction to Barba (“are you kidding me, sis?” and then a hilarious rejection) to her reaction to Dodds Sr. (she legitimately asked for his advice, in the end, with that quote about Mike lol whos’ mike?, and she genuinely smiled at him).

I don’t know. The whole thing reeked of “omg you guys it’s the season finale and we need some drama”. I’m glad Liv decided not to lie.

But let’s get to Sonny:

Sonny’s Temper

Finally, the writers found a way to make Sonny angry in a believable way. In a way that wasn’t out of character. In a way that made sense in context, and didn’t come out of nowhere. Seriously, out of all the instances in which Sonny has lost his temper this season, this is the one and only time I felt for him, and thought he was justified. I mean, was it necessary to have him body slamming people left and right, throughout the episode? No. Was it necessary to have him (and everybody else) yelling in every other scene? No. But was it too much, or too violent? Also no.

This wasn’t random anger for no reason, this wasn’t just, “OK guys let’s all SHOUT all our LINES because it’s the season FINALE!!!!” (though that totally happened, too. They even got the usually very whispery Kirk Acevedo to yell, which made me laugh).

Sonny had a real reason to be mad, and that made a difference. Roughing up a perp is one thing, and it still makes me uncomfortable because I’m a SJW oops, sorry, I thought I was an SVU writer for a second, and I started using buzzwords :D

But shoving ICE agents, because they’re detaining a key witness, and they’re practically sending him to his death? Making Sonny break his promise, in the process? And letting rapists and murderers go free? That’s anger I can get behind.

I also appreciated the way Sonny and Barba argued without either of them losing their temper. They disagreed (and they didn’t even really disagree, because Barba was only suggesting to use the threat of deportation as a bluff sort of), but they just expressed their opinions as professionals, and as equals, without any yelling or finger-wagging. And they both (sort of) had a point. That’s the type of argument we might have seen in a previous season, and I enjoyed it watching it play out.

Sonny and Empathy

Finally, we got to see Sonny’s love for children, shining through. That was always one of Sonny’s main characteristics, and we never got to see it this season (aside from Great Expectations, a rare highlight). The way Peter conveyed Sonny’s dismay at busting in on a couple of little girls with a gun in his hand? It was only a two-second reaction, but it said it all. Same for the way he tried to be there for Hector’s poor daughters, kneeling in front of them at the hospital, trying to keep them away from their rightfully furious mother.

It was also interesting how Sonny was the only character who had strong feelings about threatening a woman using her children as leverage. Amanda and Liv, both mothers, had no such qualms (Rollins threatened multiple people’s kids, like five times, and Liv was fine with literally calling ICE). Barba also had no qualms, but then Barba isn’t exactly the most emotional person, lol.

I have to say, I didn’t enjoy those threats. Every time, I’d side with the mother (even the racist one, who otherwise made me shudder). Leave kids out of this (didn’t Liv and Amanda go through this themselves, in Real Fake News?). And don’t use shitty and scary immigration laws to threaten innocent people. It should be said, Soledad’s husband was certainly complicit, but Soledad herself was just lying to keep her family together. Yes, murderers would go free as a result, but her motives weren’t evil. Did she deserve to be separated from her kids?

And, the real question here, the one Liv and Barba ignored: did Soledad’s kids deserve to be separated from their mother?

That was my main issue (and also the main reason I loved Sonny’s reaction). I did agree with Barba in having little sympathy for Soledad, because ultimately she was lying, but what about her children? Barba had no sympathy for them, either. Sonny did (and Fin and Amanda seemed to agree). Sonny even sweetly said, “it’s late, her kids are asleep,” which was a wonderful detail. Liv and Barba were like, “Round ‘em up! Right now! Traumatize those kids for life! Coercion! Fuck yeah!” but Sonny actually stopped to consider the emotional implications for those kids. That one line, and the way he said it, it moved me. It was perfectly consistent with Sonny’s personality. He cares. He sees the big picture, but he also thinks about the little things, and how they affect others. Especially children. 

That’s why that was my favorite Sonny moment in the entire finale. It showcased his empathy, and his idealism, and his conviction in his beliefs. Sonny has always been unafraid to speak his mind, even if his superiors disagree.

Speaking of Sonny’s superiors, I wonder if this stunt made Sonny respect Liv and Barba a little less. Because that happened to me. And Fin, who totally called Liv out :D

Morality Thoughts

I may joke about it, but I loved how Sonny and Fin clearly didn’t approve of that stunt, of threatening a mother of two small children with deportation, and I appreciated the fact they were “allowed” by the writers to express those opinions to Barba and Liv, respectively. I also liked that Liv didn’t answer Fin’s question. That’s the type of “grey area” writing which was sorely missing this season.

This was the rare instance when the audience wasn’t expected to think Liv is 100% right, for a change, and the writers even had a beloved character like Fin call her out. They had an idealistic and sincere character like Carisi call out a more pragmatic and underhanded character like Barba. That was actually good writing (what???). Letting the audience draw its own conclusions. I wish the writers hadn’t waited until the finale to start doing that.

Stray Thoughts

This season didn’t give us much on the Barisi front (or on any front), but it did give us this:


Peter Gallagher is so handsome. And so talented. He brings so much to all his scenes. How does he do it? And why can’t the rest of the SVU cast do it too, lol? No one came close to his nuanced performance, last night (from the regulars, I mean. The guest cast was mostly fantastic). And his lines weren’t even that great. Honestly, how does he do it? I love him.

I also love not Eddie Kirk Acevedo. Were they trying him out as a potential new squad member, pairing him up with Sonny, and having him participate in an interrogation with Amanda, or is that wishful thinking? And does it even matter, now that we’ll get a new showrunner? I mean, they probably needed guest stars to fill the airtime, because the finale was 2 hours long and the show only has like 3 characters left :D

Fin still has a detective’s badge, right? Did I blink and miss him actually making Sergeant? And did I also miss a reference to his twitter-grandson?

Rollins, after shoving and practically headbutting that woman in front of her small son: “Honey it’s okay, your mommy’s fine! I’m just about to punch her in the face, but it’s all good! Go play with your Xbox!”

I liked Yusef’s reactions to Sonny’s naive remarks about America. “I get it.” “No you don’t.” Damn straight.

Did Sonny kick down that door literally ON that woman’s face? The hell? She was standing right behind the door as he kicked it! Sonny, sweetie, you’re no Derek Morgan. Leave the door-kicking to the experts.

Barba keeps getting swerved by Liv, lmao.

I won’t get into the politics of it all. I don’t have the time or the inclination. I’ll just say the script was way too heavy-handed. I mean:

random guy, for no reason whatsoever: “What is happening in this country? This is America, right?”

Sonny (and me): “…yeah okay thank you we’ll call you if we need anything else bye”

I am GLAD that’s over.

submission: “I can’t believe I ate that shit up.”

My peak trans moment… Where do I even start?

A “trans girl” saying that he would put tampons up his ass… to simulate periods? And I think I even remember him saying that it made him aroused… What the fuck.

“Gender”/being a woman or girl or man or boy defined as a fucking feeling. Over and over again. A violent man on here defined “gender identity” as a “private, personal sense of your own gender”… when saying that otherkin is also “gender identity”.

Basically equating femininity with MAKING you female. Like holy fucking shit. And for the record, a man wearing makeup is not “feminine” or GNC. Femininity is so much more than just makeup and of course men would think that’s all it means. As Sheila Jeffreys titled one of her chapters in Beauty and Misogyny, femininity is the behavior of subordination.

Q-theorists (often calling themselves “tucute”) would also always be denouncing people with sex dysphoria arguing that only people with sex dysphoria can be trans as “truscum”.

“PoC genders” or “non-white genders” being used as a gotcha’. Newsflash, patriarchy manifests itself in different ways across cultures.

The entire idea biological sex is a fucking social construct. Because intersex people.

Something along the lines of “depending on race and class, it’s entirely possible to adopt female narratives”. Adopt female narratives?

A woman arguing that female and male socialization is “adopted”. “Saying you’re socialized according to your genitals is a slippery slope”… I can’t believe I ate that shit up. “Trans women” saying that they were subject to closeted trans woman socialization? Like the entire idea that “trans women” are female socialized. Their explanation was literally “oh yeah we were aware of being male socialized and were uncomfortable with it, thus we knew that female socialization that we witnessed was actually meant for us ” Oh yeah because being treated as if you are superior from fucking birth is so fucking uncomfortable and something male children can recognize and reject from day 1 lmao.

The same woman saying that “the trans women I know don’t say they have dicks, as “dick” is a heavily gendered word. They actually say they have a clit!” So basically her argument was… there are “female gendered” penises and “male gendered” penises. Which ties in with the rape-advocating idea of the “cotton ceiling”.

The fact that I literally never once saw “trans women” attacking or even mentioning how “cis” gay men need to be attracted to vaginas or else they’re a transphobic bigot. No, I literally just saw lesbians being attacked 24/7 for not liking dick. And then those same “trans women” saying things like “lmao we don’t even want to fuck you! We don’t want you filth to have sex with us but you’re still complicit in the murder of trans women because you don’t like dick”, as if that doesn’t sound exactly like a straight guy angry at women not wanting to fuck him. And of course, now it’s radikool to make fun of periods.

The fact that even when I literally asked for help trying to reason out how “trans women” are women without being a woman defined as a feeling or a choice and then being given the unsatisfying answer that “No, of course it’s not a feeling! It’s offensive to “trans women” to say that it’s just a feeling! No, trans women just have magical receptors in their brain that only accept female socialization and reject male socialization from day 1! But no, no, we’re not saying that “gender” is innate!”

A male denying that he was a guy by telling me that “gender was forced upon me so I reject gender”.

Tons of male leftists making violent comments about “TERFs” or simply distancing themselves from male violence by acting like they are above “TERFs”, including one who had no problem liking a “TERF”’s selfies until she along with other women spoke against another male leftist for saying something along the lines of “if you agree with this TERF, you can go choke on big fat horse cock”.

I also saw many indirect claims that “TERF"s and “SWERF"s lie about rape. The way they implied it was insidious then, but clear as day to me now. They’d say things that basically amounted to saying “TERFs lie about being raped by trans women” and “SWERFs lie about sex trafficking”, all in a way that looked radikool.

And this quote comes to mind:

“I am grateful that the idea of “living as a woman” really doesn’t signify for me anymore. I’m an adult human female, so I’m a woman. If I’m breathing, I’m living as a woman. Even though I have/have had sex dysphoria. Even though I am “gender nonconforming” and wouldn’t paint a “femininity” target on myself the way I used to, if you paid me. Even though I am an outlier among females in some profound ways. Even though I have passed as male. Nothing I do or feel can ever make me not a woman. Once that would have sounded like the worst kind of trap, but it turns out that knowledge is crucial to taking the power out of all forms of gender obsession for good. Being able to somatize this knowledge has fundamentally altered my relationship to even my sex dysphoria.”— Early Detransition = Hyper-vulnerability to Sex Role Stereotypes (via redressalert)

I don’t even know how long it was, but I think it was 2 years of me just repeating the mantra “trans women are women” in my head to ignore all this shit… Until I finally decided to see reality.

I used to think genderist/q-theorist bullshit was minor enough to ignore, but then I remembered that people who write and agree with this bullshit online also exist offline. That’s why as a freshman in high school I overheard a teenage girl talking about how she wasn’t a girl because something about the “gender binary”- I don’t recall what she said very well, but I remember thinking about what she said. Bullshit trans ideology is also the reason my freshman molecular biology teacher “taught” the class about “brain sex” (”male and female brains are wired differently”, “you can have a male body but a female brain”) because he saw the same bullshit on the extremely popular YouTube channel SciShow (I saw that particular video, it was also equating femininity with being a woman) and why the girl who sits next to me in history class says she’s not a girl or a boy just because she’s GNC and thinks feminine = female. And just reading the blogs of teenage girls like me literally saying they’re something along the lines of “masc-agender flux but identify as gay so I gotta stick with calling myself a boy” talk about how they’re scared and uncomfortable because they’ve taken the lie so far that they literally use the men’s bathrooms…

I’ve seen multiple sides of genderist/q-theorist Hell. There’s the ones whose bullshit I see deconstructed often, you know the whole “gender identity is a feeling/brain sex/mental state/woman = feminine” and then there’s the other side of the coin, which is pretty much the same thing, but dressed up in leftist language. At first, I believed in the former, but for a long time I was duped by the latter, which I now view as more dangerous. Like, the faux radical q-theorists sound agreeable enough at first. They assert that yes, male and female socialization exists and that “gender identity” is an offensive idea, but then they start getting into bullshit by making up crap like “trans woman socialization is when you realize that male socialization is misdirected at you and you’re uncomfortable with it and thus you’re indirectly female socialized” and “biological sex is a social construct with no firm basis in reality because intersex people exist, so you’re not actually directly socialized from birth according to your perceived sex”. Same snakes, different faces. Like especially with the bullshit idea of “trans woman socialization is when you know female socialization is meant for you”, it’s literally just “brain sex” dressed up in different language because it implies there’s something innate about being female other than you know, being fucking female by sex that you simply “realize” or “discover” some day. That’s why I was duped for so long.

As a 16 year old girl, I know this is dangerous of me to put out there. I know that no male would ever receive the flak/harassment that’s coming my way on this. It’s actually a little funny, in a disgusting way. I could go on and on but this is long enough.

maniacaltoaster  asked:

(One of the things that really gets me about the movie is that SS supposedly gets a horrific death (Technically we didn't see him get killed, it's just implied) but Megatron gets off scot-free. The guy LITERALLY brought the end of the world, along with a war that's lasted for eons, and gets to go free. SS did a lot of messed up stuff, but he went through this abusive oppression for WAY longer than M, where's his "I've experienced oppression, and as such have lost my taste for inflicting it."?)

((Tell me about it. The worst part is that Starscream is punished in the end for things Megatron did to him! The whole reason he and Predaking have a history is a symptom of Megatron’s abuse of Starscream - Starscream didn’t pick a fight with Predaking. He wanted nothing to do with him, but Megatron forced him to take over his training. Predaking didn’t need training, and Shockwave knew it. Starscream pleaded with Megatron not to make him do it. They slammed the door in his face and left him in a situation he knew he couldn’t handle. When Starscream of all people knows he can’t handle something, you know it’s bad - he usually assumes he can do anything. Yes, Starscream handled his fear and frustration like a jackass, but he was set up to fail, and his failures were presented as slapstick comedy. That’s not so bad, except that it’s cruel to present Starscream’s pain and humiliation for us to laugh at, and then use those very incidents to set up an extremely painful, humiliating, and degrading death. It’s not fair, it’s cruel, and it makes us as audience members complicit in the cruelty.

And why would Megatron do that to him? It was not going to make missions go any better - Predaking already did well, and it took Starscream out of the strategic role where he performed best. Megatron wasn’t concerned with using Starscream’s actual talents, since he had nothing but contempt for Starscream and saw him as expendable. And all of this was done while Starscream was actually trying to help Megatron. That’s the worst part. The central conflict within the Decepticons, Megatron vs Starscream, had been resolved. Starscream lost. Not only lost, but accepted it and was trying to do his part. That wasn’t good enough for Megatron though. Now that Starscream had lost, he kept pushing him further down, both in terms of his duties, making his SIC post utterly meaningless, and in terms of any real security. He remained physically and psychologically abusive, and Starscream no longer took to scheming or revenge after he was beaten or belittled - he tried more and more desperately to prove himself (again, by being a jackass but that is another question for the writers - if Starscream is supposed to be so cunning why did they write as a complete moron in so many incidents in Season 3? If it was supposed to funny (and it often was) then they shouldn’t hold the ridiculous actions they forced on him against him as reasons for him to end up horrifically murdered). 

I don’t know what the writers could possibly have been thinking having a character make such a complete 180 and not have it come to anything. He is punished for going against Megatron (though Megatron going against Unicron and Knockout going against Starscream are both rewarded), then he is punished just as much for being loyal to Megatron. They don’t even give Starscream an awareness that Megatron is being unfair, and they continue to present his abuse as something he deserves. Worst of all Starscream seems to believe he deserves it, venting his frustrations only on Shockwave while still sincerely seeking Megatron’s approval. That makes sense given that his self-assurance was stripped away when he was violated into submission and broken during the cortical psychic patch, but if that is the case he deserved a chance to heal, and not have that horrific suffering treated as something he deserved. His feelings are not considered, and he no longer has any agency to try and change his circumstances, at least in a meaningful way. Starscream becomes a non-character. He exists only to advance the plot, and becomes something for Megatron to use and throw away, which is exactly what happened. At the point where Starscream spends a whole season trying to please Megatron, gets nothing but abuse for it, and is so dependent on him that he nearly rushes into danger when Megatron is killed, then rallies to his side when he returns, Megatron does owe him something in the end. But Megatron proves himself the shitty leader Starscream has always known him to be (Starscream’s not a great leader either but he didn’t have that responsibility and Megatron did).

Megatron’s cheap redemption at the end pisses me off. Not because he changed, but because of how it was handled. He didn’t earn it by making a hard decision at a time when it might cost him, but only after he was rescued by Optimus and everything was resolved. It wasn’t courageous. He did it the way he does everything, from a position of power and security, with no thought for how anyone else is affected. His decision is immediately rewarded by Optimus’s approval, and he gets to nope out of any kind of accountability for everything he did. He experienced exactly what he’d put Starscream through, but only considered it terms of his own feelings, and didn’t recognize that Starscream felt that way every day

Starscream was punished for not instantly having the same revelation but here’s the thing - he’s used to it. He’s become used to it because of Megatron. Megatron was used to power, and sudden powerlessness hit him hard. Starscream is used to powerlessness, and doesn’t want to feel that anymore. He wants back the power that Megatron took from him. He was so powerless by the end though that he was even willing to accept Megatron’s abuse if it meant mere stability, the pursuit of his own power forgotten. You know who else was once powerless, but forgot that apparently? Megatron, way back when he founded the Decepticons. But he couldn’t put two and two together and see his fellow low caste miners in Starscream, or remember that eons of powerlessness make you desperate and angry enough to start a war. He couldn’t look down and see that Starscream was depending on him to lead, asking him to lead, really lead for once. Yes, Starscream questioned his decision, because it came out of the blue and Starscream has no idea what it meant for him or the both of them. He was incredulous and was hoping to get back to what he knew, even though what he knew was terrible. Megatron could have tried to lead him a different way, show him that changing is not the same as losing or surrendering. But once again, Megatron, ever the tyrant, rounded on Starscream for daring to question him, cut him off, and left him with nothing. Because Megatron literally can’t lead without violence and oppression. He knows no other way, and has nothing else to offer. And that is all well and good - it makes sense for his character. But that is no reason for the writers to still punish Starscream for it, when he has been punished all along, for things he deserved and things he didn’t. 

From Starscream’s point of view, this

feels no different from this

or this

And if anything it is more bewildering, given that everything else he knew is gone. Starscream is still afraid of Megatron, and still Megatron gives him a reason to be. His change of Spark evidently does not apply to his treatment of Starscream, at least as far as Starscream can tell. And I believe as far as the writers cared. I really think they somehow missed the obvious parallels. And they were once again are not concerned with how Starscream feels. He is only a plot device to them - a foil to be used and tossed aside. 

Abandoned by the only thing he could depend on anymore, of course he’d go and pick himself up and try to rally the Decepticons (a task the writers have thoroughly demonstrated he is incapable of doing). Is that supposed to be irredeemably evil? Enough to deserve being brutally ripped apart? From his point of view he has no options, and defeat is something he can’t accept - defeat to him means humiliation, and he’s had plenty of humiliation at Megatron’s hands. He never gives up, but he has shown himself to be willing to change, when he came back to Megatron. But look how well that went. Or when he saved Arcee. But that was dismissed as a selfish act. Starscream is never rewarded for a single decision in Prime, even his good ones. And at the end he is the only villain to suffer such a truly horrible punishment.))

A Dog’s Tears: Why Sandor Crying Matters to his Character

Before I continue, I will not begrudge anyone reading this for disliking Sandor or being lukewarm to him. To me, I can definitely understand the antipathy towards him, if not be a supporter of it. 

I love Sandor Clegane’s character so much. I love a great deal of characters from ASoIaF, from Aeron to Cersei to Stannis to Brienne to Sansa, but, of course, they all have their unique charm and this loyal dog is no exception. This guy is such an important part of the ‘what makes a true knight’ dialogue, the ‘idealism vs cynicism’ dialogue and tone in ASoIaF that it’s really hard not to get invested in him, especially if you’re a Sansa fan.

I could talk about how he’s a non-knight who still tries to embody the virtues of knighthood (like loyalty and service) even though he disparages the office itself or about he’s a disappointed idealist who armors himself in cynicism to protect himself or how he doesn’t have the typical body frame of the ‘bullied little brother’ character (being big and strong) or how he’s a burn survivor and it’s not ‘cute’ or romanticized one bit, it’s still painful for him.

No, I’m going to talk about how he cries. At least four times in the series so far. Because it’s surprisingly crucial to his character and how we see him.

I’ll confess: I didn’t like him for the first half of A Game of Thrones and I’m thinking that was Martin’s intention. He’s by the side of Joffrey, who we decisively don’t like one bit, he’s telling off Tyrion for slapping Joffrey (though, yeah, Tyrion wasn’t being smart here) and he’s killed a child we know is innocent of attacking Joffrey.

That child-killing asshole! That’s it, you’ve crossed a line, San-

[The Hound’s eyes seemed to glitter through the steel of that hideous dog’s-head helm.]


”[…] The old man made marvelous toys. I don’t remember what I got, but it was Gregor’s gift I wanted. A wooden knight, all painted up, every joint pegged separate and fixed with strings, so you could make him fight.[…]”

Eh? I-what-bwu… sh-shit.

It hit me then that Sandor was just another Mycah. Someone who wanted to be a knight, only to get hit hard by reality. When his eyes glitter, it’s not him taking some weird shine to murder, it’s him tearing up at killing another idealistic boy who wanted to be a knight and being complicit in upholding a terrible system that hurt him and supported his tormentor. 

Sure, he might have thought, and had good reason, to think Mycah did attack Joffrey, but that’s not the point. It still wouldn’t make the killing of a child itself any easier. It’d just legalize it in Westeros’ eyes, which does nothing for his soul. Crying here reveals his complicated feelings towards his part in the system and rereading it helps us see the beginning of him as more than a Lannister sworn shield.

Then the Battle of Blackwater happens. This is a rather important battle for quite a few characters’ future character development (Sansa, Tyrion, Davos, Stannis), but with Sandor…

When he goes to Sansa, he’s not in a great mental state. He fights for the Lannisters, gets scared of the fire, probably seeing his trauma relived again (” Only a man who’s been burned knows what hell is truly like.”) and has been emasculated by Tyrion. 

It’s not sexy, it’s not charming, the way his despair and trauma shows itself, shoving a knife at Sansa’s throat and demanding a song from her. I’m absolutely sure he meant well, but… yeah, I’d call bullshit on anyone who’d say Sansa should have taken her chances to escape with him. This is not a stable dog.

And yet… while having a knife at Sansa’s throat, he hears her sing about wanting his wrath soothed (God, I love Sansa so much). He feels her fingers cup his cheek.

And it breaks him. 

And he cries.

It just shows more what a complex person he is, the person he is beyond his sword. Throughout all the horrors the Battle of the Blackwater shows to him, it’s the fact that, despite all the bark, despite all the blunt criticism he gives her, despite how much he makes threats to her, Sansa still has it in her heart to care for him, to treat him far better than he feel he deserves, that makes him cry. 

Because that’s what matters most to Sandor, not the emasculation or wanting to be seen as a warrior. It’s the fact that he feels he doesn’t deserve her kindness, given what he’s just done. Sansa’s kindness is a precious thing and he feels he’s unworthy of it. It’s a storm of confusion, self-loathing and mixed-up emotions that revels in the complexity that ASoIaF just dives into.

Then he cries at the trial by combat and wow, it’s a doozy. One of the brilliant duel scenes of A Storm of Swords and it’s a stunning trial for Sandor and his fear of fire. He had to fight amid his trauma with Beric’s blazing sword and then he burns.

[“Please,” Sandor Clegane rasped, cradling his arm. “I’m burned. Help me. Someone. Help me.” He was crying. “Please." 

Arya looked at him in astonishment. He’s crying like a little baby, she thought.]

Oh, Sandor…

This makes his trauma so visceral. He breaks down. No, Arya, not a little baby, he’s turning back into that little boy that’s actually reliving his burning from Gregor. The sensation of fire eating through his flesh. He was never allowed to process his burning, his childhood trauma, in a healthy way, thanks to his father silencing the event and his tormentor being rewarded with the institution Sandor revered for being a thug. 

Here, it’s laid out in stark detail, the effect of never being able to grow up from that: the sight of a grown man crying like a little boy. It’s all rooted in deep trauma and a loss of idealism his brother tried to burn out of him. It’s not laugh-worthy. It’s not emasculating. No one makes fun of him. Trauma matters. Pain matters. Sandor can never forget it. It’s sad and it shows us, through Arya’s eyes, the true extent of what Gregor did to him and the scars in Sandor’s psyche.

Finally, his crying and “confession.”

Many have talked about this scene in far greater depth than I can ever reach, so I’ll just say this: this crying puts everything he’s done in King’s Landing under a different light. Along with the words, it exposes his self-loathing, his trauma, his focusing in how he failed the virtues of knighthood by letting them beat Sansa and his desire for mercy from the pain. It bears his troubled soul to Arya and, through merit of third-person limited POV, us.

And there is genuine pathos. When he cries, we cry.

Without those tears, it’s easier to reduce Sandor’s character to a stoic, gruff pragmatic “badass” who teaches the foolish damsel in distress how the real world works or a child-killing psycho who thinks killing is the best feeling (seriously, this is such a wrong interpretation of Sandor). 

And that’s the thing. Lesser fantasies would go for the ‘men don’t cry’ garbage (fed via patriarchy system) with the kind of character people see Sandor as: a stoic cynical bodyguard who shouldn’t cry because he’s “badass”.

In ASoIaF? Sandor cries, and has damn good reason to. We see his backstory and see his complicated feelings towards Sansa, so we understand his tears and know why. It reveals what he feels and cares for. Crying is not a bad thing. Not at all. It serves as good emotional catharsis. It fleshes his character so much, shining a light on the man, the tortured soul, he is.

Sandor is not a stoic. The problem is, he has lots of feelings and emotions underneath his armor of cynicism, and that’s what Martin does with showing us Sandor’s tears: he doesn’t discount Sandor’s humanity beneath the armor, instead illuminating it in great detail.

And Sandor is what helps make ASoIaF a story of humanity instead of nihilism or deconstruction. Even big, strong men like Sandor can be vulnerable and it’s beautiful, the way the narrative doesn’t judge him for it. Sandor’s a man who wants to fight for a right cause, do some good with his life, uphold the virtues of knighthood while condemning the office and protect someone worthy of his service.

I hope he finds it with Sansa. He has done bad like killing Mycah, but he’s still alive. He can still make up for it and do good with his life. The Hound is dead and Sandor Clegane can pick a new path to live. If Sandor is the knight Sansa deserves, Sansa is the lady Sandor deserves.

dolgorukov  asked:

What does Sansa think about LF in your opinion?

Hi! Sorry it took me a while to answer :) I think she’s naturally wary of him and finds his mannerism and behavior unsettling in an unpleasant way, and she knows he’s fundamentally a liar, but she’s Very Confused rn because the deep ties that currently bind her to him are clouding her judgment.

Keep reading

Hannibal Recap + Rewatch: 2x06

**Warning: rewatch blogging written with knowledge of the full series

And we’re back! Slightly earlier than usual because the next installment will be slightly later than usual, more infoz later. For now, these infoz in case you’re just now joining us: what follows is a bizarre thing composed of an unpublished recap I wrote two years ago after 2x06 aired, and asides I wrote today during my current Hannibal rewatch. It’s a ride.

HANNIBAL Recap Novelization - Ep 206, “Futamono”
Now With **Rewatch Hindsight**

It begins. Hannibal composes at his FUCKING HARPSICHORD. You insufferable cannibal dandy, I swear to god.

The lines of his sheet music dissolve into the lines of Will’s cage and well, crap that’s beautiful.

Just plain as perfect symbolic day.

Contemporary Sidebar

Am I ever gonna be over Hannibal composing the bars that hold Will? Nope! (THE. BARS. BARS. GET IT. GAAHH.)

Will: “You are moving smoothly and slowly, Jack; carrying your concentration like a brimming cup.” I gauge Will’s handle on his own weird lovely soul by how bad his metaphors are (more embarrassing = more Will), and this is actually pretty moderate on his scale so we’re still in the woods. Will I miss yooouuu. I want your emotional openness back, I feel so apart from your opaque calculate-y prison self. But that is some wailing for another time.

Oh my god? Look at this!!! Oh Past Ye of little faith! Wow wow wow, this is amazing, I did not remember how doubting and adrift I’d gotten from Will here! Now I’m really curious what brought me back, because I’ve found something in my old recaps folder that I wrote during late S2 which could most readily be described as An Impassioned Defense of Will Graham Against The Haters, that might as well have been written to this Me here.

This is great though, because now I feel much comfier when I talk about how people felt like they were breaking apart from Will in S2, as apparently I was one of them! And Past Me really hit the core of it I think: “emotional openness.” This was something I talked about at the start of my 2x03 post, how Hugh Dancy’s portrayal of Will was so achingly open in S1 that a very natural & justified filtering of Will’s emotions in S2 reads as closed off in comparison. It’s interesting, because on rewatch I feel muuuuch much closer to S2 Will, and — wait oh my god, aaAAAHHH wait do you know who else I originally thought was distant and difficult and conniving but felt significantly closer to on the rewatch? S1 Hanners. NICE.

Fuck me, this show and its mirrored structuring.

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anonymous asked:

Do you think Tyrion is going to kill Jaime? And do you think his hate for Jaime is justifiable?

As much as I love Jaime, I hate the fact that he was involved in the Tysha incident. And I think he deserves to get some kind of comeuppance for it, or at least needs to take responsibility for what he did. 

I’m inclined to believe him, since it’s basically his Honesty Hour, when he tells Tyrion that he had no idea of what their father was going to do to the girl. But that lie alone did plenty of damage. (under the cut for triggering content)

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anonymous asked:

What are your opinions on Rihanna's new music video BBHMM? I heard people call it misogynistic and others call it feminist and honestly I really don't know what to think.

Okay, let’s start with a big one…

I have to begin by saying that I love a lot of Rihanna’s music and what she does. I also think she comes under a lot of unnecessary criticism because she is so unapologetic about who she is, and of course because she is a successful black woman. 

But I have to be honest about this video, and as much as I support her sometimes, this time, I’m just not on her side. 

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Moving Forward: Year’s End Arrow 1x09 Review

Congratulations! You made it to your first mid season finale on Arrow. Welcome to episode nine. The gauntlet episode. The “shit goes down” episode. The “holy sweet mother of Zeus what’s going to happen next?” episode. The mid season finale typically has one crucially important job - launch the season’s Big Bad in a big bad way. Get ready for the pain. This is what December looks like in Starling City. 

Happy Holidays! Let’s dig in…

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Time to Sit Down

I’m a White guy. I see White people, especially White males, say that talking about race is what perpetuates racism.  I see males, especially White males, threaten rape and murder or encourage women to kill themselves who have spoken out. I’ve been thinking about how the privilege those guys are so aggressively protecting is the same privilege I benefit from. I’ve been thinking about how badly I don’t want to be one of those guys, about how to be a better ally than I have been.  I’m working on that, doing work on that.  One of the first steps I’m taking, and it is a challenging one for me, is to understand that there are many places, times, and situations where the most important thing I can do is shut up and sit down.

As a White, straight, cis-gendered male, I am so often treated as precious.  I am thanked for being there, for trying at all.  My struggle, my emotions at addressing my role in receiving privilege, are often valued above those actively expressing the pain they feel in being denied it.  This is encouraged and enforced again and again in conversations by the tears and anger of White women and men.  This is obvious in the frequency with which we turn conversations by and about people of color into conversations about us.

In the days and weeks after Eric Garner and Mike Brown’s killers were not indicted, there was a telling duality of stories on Twitter.  #AliveWhileBlack told the stories of Black people encountering the sorts of violence, dehumanization, and oppression that has led again and again to tragedy and death.  They were evidence of the need for healing, the need for anger, and the need for action being demonstrated in the national movement of protests.  The second story, #CrimingWhileWhite, showed the stories of White people recognizing their privilege by recounting stories of getting away with behavior that would often have ended in the arrest or death of Black people.

I know some people loved and supported the #CrimingWhileWhite stories, but to me, it was at best ill-timed to talk about how easy life can be while white in a time of deep grieving over the loss of black lives.  At worst, and I certainly took it at worst, it was another time that White people centered a conversation that is not about them to be as much as possible about them.  It was a celebration of White people moving just slightly further than the starting line on understanding racial privilege while people of color are dying.  During a period where so many people were expressing profound pain, I saw conversations loop around to pat the backs of white people who were involved for “being there,” for engaging at all.

The privilege to ignore the conversation is real, and so we often accept the privilege of only hearing enough of the reality of racism to get us involved, but not so much that we turn away.  We push the conversation away from anything that will truly challenge us, especially those of us who feel like we already “get it.”

We want to understand only enough to feel like we understand, but not enough to really feel it.

We need to stop only talking about White privilege so we can congratulate ourselves for saying we have privilege. We need to talk explicitly about the privilege not to be murdered, to not have a member of your community murdered and be asked to make space for a conversation about whether or not they deserved it.  The privilege to have children without the weight of bringing them into a world that will see them as a threat. The privilege to not have to protest to have your life matter.

I say “we” intentionally.  I mean me.  I mean all White people.  If we are already talking about those things, we need to talk about them more.  We need to take responsibility for the fact that very few White people truly engage in the conversation, very rarely talk about race in spaces that are all White.  We need to talk about race in groups of White people where it is uncomfortable to talk about them.  We need to use our privilege and protection to promote the voices of people of color.  We need to call out White people who are abusing and marginalizing people of color.  We need to step into conversations without first waiting to make sure it is advantageous for us to do so.

I’m saying “we” because it’s uncomfortable for me to do. I so badly want to say, “most, but not me, not all of us,” but when the voices of people of color are being minimized and marginalized, when their experiences are being questioned, when their lives are being devalued, it is by White people.  When conversations about race are being derailed or dismissed, it is by White people.  When someone is saying, “I know your children aren’t being fairly educated, I know they’re being unfairly arrested, I know nearly every image they see of themselves is a negative one, but this isn’t about race,” it is a White person.  It is White people, and it is arrogant, selfish, and ignorant for me to pause those conversations for one minute to say, “but not me.”  

White privilege is not polite, is not sterile.  It is a dangerous, messy, frighteningly powerful piece of my experience, of my daily experience.  

Still, we turn away from the voices of people of color who challenge us too much.  We value voices, primarily white voices, who will frame the conversation for us gently, who make us feel valued and empowered in a conversation that is about us already being unfairly valued and empowered.  We flock to the picture of the cop hugging the kid, huddle around the warm fire of twitter hashtags that make us feeling like we are doing something, doing enough.  We wear hoodies and hold signs that say “I AM TRAYVON” because us too, because we get it, because we don’t want to stand with the thing others are fighting against or admit we are complicit.  We are willing to talk about race, so long as it’s on our terms, and so long as we are included in every possible solution, every list of heroes, every possible space and conversation, so long as we get to talk first and last.

A few months ago, there was a huge protest of the Washington team name in Minnesota.  The event was planned by Native people and featured a slate of predominantly Native speakers.  During the protest, there were a few men near the back of the crowd trying to direct people away from the stage, tried to get them chanting and “occupying” parts of the sidewalk. These men, all White men, were shouting things like, “let’s make this a real protest.”  At a protest that was specifically about fighting the marginalization of Native people, these white men were actively trying to push their voices above those on stage, were actively criticizing the demonstration organized by Native people for a Native movement.

The same behavior has been repeated again and again by white “allies” in response to the national fight for Black lives.  White people are criticizing, translating, and co-opting a movement that is not theirs, weighing in and “devil’s advocating” about how Black communities should properly react to the shooting of Black children.  We talk about the number of times we’ve watched the Eric Garner video like it is currency for our caring, and then jump on our soap box to tell anyone who will listen what should happen next, what will “fix” it.  We speak to Black people who founded, organized, and inspired the movement like they don’t understand what it means to protest.  We say, “Let us help by telling all you Black leaders what you obviously don’t understand, let us tell you how to create a movement centered on the lives of Black children.”  We say, in so many ways, “let White people talk.”

We feel that our anger at oppression entitles us to an opinion, but our entitlement is that oppression.  White people need to support this movement without leading it, need to amplify voices other than their own.  White solidarity shouldn’t erase the voices of Black people who are telling us exactly what we’ve refused to hear for so long.  It should alarm us if White writers and thinkers are the primary voices of the experiences of color in our lives, telling us of something they’ve read, of a story a friend told them.

It should make us uncomfortable if nothing we read about race makes us uncomfortable.

We police Black voices with calls of being impolite, for being “unproductive” to White listening, for showing a fraction of the anger for large offenses that many White voices show for very small ones.  We accuse them of being racist for conversations that name race, that don’t make room for the devaluing of their children and coddle grown-ass White people who haven’t found a moment in life yet to really think about race.  We let White people not listen by attempting to translate for messages that need no translation.

I will keep saying “we,” because I am a White male, and because we have a problem.  We have a problem listening, we have a problem not talking, we have a problem not being in front and in charge.  We have a lot of work to do, and we need to do it without celebrating every small step we take, we need to do it with an understanding that the work is necessary and we are behind.  It’s time we sit down, listen, and be led.