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I hope a little girl or little boy reads this and be like, ‘My life is hard, but it ain’t that hard. If she could survive that, I could survive anything.’ Because I honestly believe in my heart that it’s all about how you think, like your thoughts are what either have you excel in life or have you fail in life. I just feel like it’ll really help somebody, and if not, it’ll give people something to talk about.
—  Comedian Tiffany Haddish on what she hopes readers will take away from her memoir, The Last Black Unicorn

December 15- Family

That night Sheriff Noah Stilinski invited Derek to dinner in the Stilinski household. Derek has been nervous all day for two reasons: One, it’s been so long he’s invited in someone else’s home. Two: he had no idea what he should bring so he brought a basket of apples. Stiles find it so hilarious he teases the other boy whereas Derek flushed embarrassingly. And Noah just watches the two boys amusingly. Tonight it’s going to be more interesting, Noah tells himself.

Event by @imagine-sterek 

Decided to keep this style going. Hope you guys like it!

-Kai

youtube

10.5 cm x 9.7 cm x 9.5 cm soft tissue mass

(tw: medical, cancer, that sort of thing, having trouble thinking of tags but let me know and I will add)

The other night I had a nightmare that was essentially just this song, more specifically the bit that’s not really present on this otherwise even more appropriately haunting version:

X will mark the place
like the parting of the waves
like a house falling in the sea

I will eat you alive I will eat you alive I will eat you alive I will eat you alive
there’ll be no more lies
there’ll be no more lies
there’ll be no more lies
there’ll be no more lies
I will eat you alive I will eat you alive I will eat you alive I will eat you alive

Back in August (ffs) I thought I pulled a muscle in my chest, the left pectoral maybe. It didn’t bug me all the time, just when the bus driver braked hard and sudden enough to subject me to serious torque, or I tried to lift too much furniture at once, etc. I finally went to the clinic not because of pain (of which there was very little) but because lying in bed reading one night we noticed that the ‘pulled muscle’ formed a hard raised area in my chest. Went to the clinic I usually go to (who were great with my leg after our car crash), doctor there agreed re: pulled muscle, got prescribed anti inflammatories and icing the affected area.

When my hell project at work was done and I took time off and finally went back to the clinic, because my chest still didn’t hurt but the pulled muscle was still there and was occasionally tender (and, Anaïs swore, getting a little bigger), I would have sworn on any book you wanted that I’d last been there a month before… not three months. For the first time in my life not only had I not gone back in the day after a prescription didn’t fully clear up a problem (my normal practice), I just plan lost track of time for months. The doctor thought it could still be a muscle, but if so it might have snapped and curled onto itself, so he sent me to get x-rays and ultrasounds. Told me they’d call me back by Monday to talk them over. This was two weeks ago, December 1.

A nurse from the clinic (Emily) called me back at 4:45 that day. Said I should come in the next morning. When I was asking whether I could come in Sunday, because I was planning at being at a friend’s Saturday afternoon, the worry in her voice when she said “in that case, could you come in now instead?” was my first indication.

I’d seen the mass during part of the ultrasound, even seen the technician label it a mass, but just assumed it was the muscle thing the doctor was telling me about. Since it’s a clinic I saw a different doctor, who told me he’d never seen one of these in his years of practice, and he was reasonably sure the most likely option was that it was a chondrosarcoma (the image there, of one on a chest wall, is pretty similar to what I saw on the ultrasound). The good news:

  • Surgery was usually sufficient to deal with these (no chemo or radiation), and the location of mine meant I wasn’t really at risk of having to lose an arm or half my pelvis or what have you
  • This would have to be confirmed, but no initial indication it was spreading anywhere, lymph nodes looked clear, as did the lungs (if it metastasizes it often goes to the lungs)
  • I was being referred to an expert in these at Mt. Sinai and although I found out he was gone for a week the person I talked to there assured me there wasn’t a long waiting time

The bad news, some then, some in the next few days:

  • Because the growth is from cartilage, a specialist has to biopsy it and we were having trouble getting me in for one of those or a CT scan to confirm/further diagnose
  • Said specialist looked at the location and referred me to a thoracic surgery specialist across the street at Toronto General… and the first appointment to see him even to get diagnosed/arrange things was January 19th
  • I had just been told I probably had cancer and then nobody could even see me or scan me for a month or two and if you think just getting a cancer diagnosis makes your brain think you’re gonna die, hoo boy, try the fucking combo

This was around the time I had the nightmare (I will eat you alive I will eat you alive I will eat you alive). I’d think about not being here and it didn’t make me happy but it didn’t upset me (thanks the Stoics, years of thinking about this stuff) but then I’d think of what Anaïs and my family and friends were about to go through and I’d lose it. So, thankfully, Emily the aforementioned nurse and the doctors I’d seen at the clinic were in my corner. Not just submitting stuff as urgent and getting on the phone with offices and trying to sort things out (I don’t have a family doctor since aside from my leg the only surgical thing I’ve ever been through in my life before was getting my tonsils out as a kid) but keeping in touch with me, making sure I know where I stood, and encouraging me to advocate for myself.

And that’s how I wound up talking to my boss on this Tuesday, and taking the rest of the week off for medical reasons. Which led to me at the emergency room in Wednesday with my ultrasound results urging me to get a CT and see a specialist. And I got my next big stroke of luck. The ER doctor I happened to get put with took me aside, listened to my story, and went to go get me a CT scan that Friday, so that at least I’d be ready to see a specialist when that opened up. Then she was gone for about an hour, and when she came back she told me not only was I coming back Thursday for the CT, I now had an appointment with the specialist who wasn’t available until January 19 today, Friday December 15.

I had about an hour of pure relief before my brain reminded me that I was about to find out whether I had the operable, manageable, survivable thing we thought I had, or something much worse. I’ve spent a lot of hours in hospitals the past three days, discovered that if you’ve got balls a contrast IV makes you feel like your balls are full of warm water, have confirmed that something I didn’t even know to be scared of (that the chondrosarcoma was damaging my heart) wasn’t happening, and got a surgery date of January 18, and lots of reassurance from my surgeon that (caveat that surgery is surgery and always serious aside) this should be straightforward surgery, they should be able to get a clear margin around the sarcoma to take it all out (a couple of my ribs will be replaced with some sort of non-metallic mesh!), and recovery will probably be about a month.

If you’re coming to this cold, maybe that sounds terrifying; don’t get me wrong, before the biopsy and before surgery I’m sure I’ll feel plenty of fear. But given everything we’ve been worried about this felt like unalloyed good news. I pretty much knew I had a chondrosarcoma (as in, please let it not be worse than that) and I’d need surgery for weeks now, so none of that is new or bad news. That it’s expected to be relatively easy and one-and-done is news, and such a huge relief. Think good thoughts for me from now until surgery (and I guess then for the five years where we do quarterly scans to make sure it doesn’t come back), but I feel like I’m going to be okay. 

anonymous asked:

My boyfriend has a friend who is a trans guy like me and I’m super jealous because his name can be either male or female and he doesn’t have to change it for it to pass and his mom buys him binders and all of the teachers support him but he still complains to me and my boyfriend that he’s so dysphoria and it’s so hard and it makes me mad because I get harassed and verbally assaulted each day and I’m jealous because I can’t wear a binder and I’m having trouble being nice to him

Devon says:

That sounds like a hard situation! 

First, I suggest checking out this post about interpersonal relationships. It could help you to work stuff out with the trans guy that you mention, or with your boyfriend if this issue is causing any strain between you two.

I would suggest talking to the trans guy, if you want to be friends with him or if you are unable to avoid being around him. You could tell him that you are upset when he talks about his dysphoria, because you are jealous of the support that he gets, or because you are also dysphoric and don’t like to talk about it (if that is the case, or if you just need an excuse). You could also just try to change the subject whenever he brings up his dysphoria, but that seems like it would only be a temporary solution. Also, you could offer him our dysphoria page the next time that he complains to you. We have a lot of resources that can help with coping with dysphoria.

It’s important to remember that even if you have more problems than someone, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t also struggling/suffering. Even though this guy has a supportive mother, etc, he is still dysphoric. He can’t help that! But, it’s also of course important to take care of yourself first and foremost. It’s also okay to be angry even when it’s not reasonable; that just becomes a problem when you act on the anger.

Our dysphoria page might be helpful to you, if you’re also dealing with dysphoria. If you haven’t come out to teachers, our coming out page has information about coming out in school. If you have come out to teachers, and they’re more supportive than the other trans guy than they are of you, you could talk to them! You could email them like, “I could really use your support in [X way], like how you have been supporting [the other trans guy’s name].”

If you need help getting a binder, we have a binding FAQ that should be very helpful! If the issue is just that his mom buys him binders and your mom or other guardian doesn’t, then you could try talking to either his mom or your guardian about this.

You could ask his mom how she became so supportive, if she has seen any resources or talked to anyone that made her a better trans ally, or if she would talk to your guardian about it.

If you’re not out to your guardian, you could use our coming out page again to help with that. Also, our for parents/guardians page might come in handy!

You might be able to change your name in your school system without any monetary cost or without changing it legally. Here’s question thirteen from our FAQ.

Q13: How do I change my name/gender legally?
A13: Here’s a resource on that that’s constantly being updated with law changes in the US. Here is a UK resource. We are still looking for reputable sources for other countries, but please check the tag for your country, as followers have answered this question quite a lot when the mods aren’t sure. (/tagged/germany for example)

The page other helpful blogs, linked in our sidebar, has some blogs that are about choosing/changing names: @find-your-new-name@nameassociation, @names-and-pronouns, and @nbnames-transnames.

You might also find question one from our FAQ helpful.

Q1: What is your opinion between Name 1, Name 2, and Name 3? What are some good middle names for my first name? Does this name sound masculine, feminine, or neutral? How do I pick a name? Is my name cliche?

A1:The mods here are very happy that you’ve begun the search for your name! However, it is exactly that— your name. Take as much time as you need to figure it out…but make sure it comes from you. Not us, or your friends, or your parents; this is yours. If you need help coming up with ideas, try baby name websites like Nymblr, Name Finder, Namipedia, Name Finder 2, Name Genie, Names by Year, Popular Names, Quick Name Generator, 20,000 Names, Behind the Name, Namespedia, and NameBerry(there are plenty more if you google), or ask your parents what they would have named you if you had been born a different gender. Your name should also be from your culture; don’t culturally appropriate by choosing a name from a culture that you aren’t a part of. Please don’t ask us if a name is cultural appropriation.

Our mental health page has some resources that could help you to further work through your feelings about this trans guy. 

Some of the information in this ask should be helpful to deal with the harassment that you are experiencing.

Best of luck, and stay safe.

anonymous asked:

Prompts for identical twins taking the fall/blame for eachother? (Sorry if it's too specific!) Thank you so much!!!!!

hey, relatable. of course

↪️ “Don’t worry about it. You can pay me back later,” she winked, smacking her brother on the shoulder. 

↪️ He cradled his bruised cheek in annoyance, glaring at his brother. “Next time, you’ll take the heat.”

↪️ She cradled the homework in her hands, head ducked in shame. Mostly, she was upset her sister got caught cheating, but at least she was getting something out of this.

↪️ He grabbed his sister’s hand, moving her behind him. “It was me,” he declared. “If you’re going to punish anyone, it’s going to be me.”

↪️ He stared down at the broken plate, then moved his gaze over to where his sibling was taking the fall for him. He felt…guilty.

↪️ She sniffed, rubbing her eyes. She felt gross and embarrassed, but her sister took her place for the day. She hadn’t wanted to go; didn’t want to face the rumors. 

↪️ She stood with her arms spread wide, guarding the door behind her. Her brother was the one that brought the stray into the house, but she refused to let him get in trouble for it.

↪️ “You vandalized another abandoned building with graffiti and I got in trouble for it. Next time, you’re telling the truth,” they warned, arms folded across their chest. 

anonymous asked:

TUAFW you have been researching Autism for a year and you keep finding symptoms that match with things you do. And then half a year into your research you find out when you were younger your Nana- a nurse- told your parents that she thinks you’re autistic and to see a specialist but your parents never do. And now you’re afraid to bring it up to your parents or even your therapist because you have a fear of rejection and you’re afraid they’ll just shut down your idea.