some fox hcs bc i’m sick and it’s all i’ve been thinking about:
when they have movie nights, allison and matt have a competition to see who can catch more popcorn in their mouths. allison always wins so matt just throws popcorn at her without even letting her catch it
they all go team grocery shopping after finding out neil has never had at least 50% of the junk food they all grew up on
renee takes up crocheting and makes them all fox print patterned socks. they wear them every movie night(even andrew)
nicky gets homesick sometimes and when he does he makes a lot of the traditional dishes his mom would and the foxes eat all of it even though they literally saw nicky chopping raw jalapenos earlier
allison and dan are real housewives fanatics and they will kill a man to get to the tv. kevin still has the scars on his arm from where allison nearly clawed his arm off for trying to change the tv
the foxes do charity dog washing at a nearby pet shelter and neil literally almost gets smothered by the biggest dog there and that’s when the foxes find out neil is the biggest dog magnet
nicky makes the mistake of teaching andrew to bake and he never leaves the kitchen. but the tower always smells like vanilla so that’s a bonus
neil cannot cook for shit and i’m standing by this until i die. he tried making cup noodles in the dorm microwave and matt came back to a small fire and a calm neil just watching the fire blaze
neil twists his ankle falling down some stairs and matt uses this as an excuse to bridal carry him everywhere
“do i even weigh anything to you?” “no, it’s like holding a couple of grapes.”
allison and neil take exactly 5 hours every saturday to go shopping, get facials, gossip. allison has video proof of neil sitting on a lounge chair with his whole face covered in a cucumber face mask, sipping lemon water, and getting his nails done. he looks right into her camera and in the most deadpan voice says “ah yes, the bourgeoisie.” the video ends with allison snickering and dropping her phone
whenever anyone is late to practice they have to go on a run with neil and every time they fall behind is a lap they have to do at the next practice. no one is late again after kevin comes back from a run and passes the fuck out
the foxes went to disney world once and lost andrew. they don’t speak of it ever again.
matt when asked by some sexist reporter why he listens to what the girls tell him to do: dan’s my girlfriend, renee could kill me, and allison has enough dirt on me to ruin my life until i die. also i respect them more than your crusty ass so that’s there as well. next question?
(matt isn’t allowed to do press duty for the next week after that)
kevin, five drinks in and nearing tipsy: if renee ever became a villian we’d all be screwed
the rest of the foxes except for renee and andrew: AMEN
casual cheek kisses are a thing among the foxes but no one kisses neil around andrew unless they want to lose a toe
it isn’t a question if whether or not a drunk kevin has acidentally called andrew “aaron”, it’s whether or not kevin actually made it out alive
nicky matt, and neil all have a shared exasperation for White People Food
neil and renee have been banned from nearly evershopping center within 50 miles of palmetto bc they wouldn’t stop throwing the knives to test how sharp they were
aaron and andrew play pokemon against each other(even tho andrew is more partial to acnl) and andrew manages to beat aaron’s entire team with just a jigglypuff and no one knows how he did it
once neil got really drunk and before he went to bed he kissed everyone’s foreheads(aaron left right after neil kissed renee’s) like his mom used to do to him before she went to sleep and it left everyone in shock
Genndy is a hetero married man who made HIS characters (that you’re not entitled to deciding what happens to them) who are grown-ass adults that can make their own decisions become romantically involved and half of the fandom is just crying about how The Straights™ get everything they want and/or that Ashi is ruined…
…even tho Genndy planned this for a long time and even talked before bout how he wanted his main character to have a girl to travel with cos it’s something he dreamed about as a young boy and isn’t that was a lot of people do, who have OCs? they project themselves on them? was he not allowed to do that with his own OCs?
and like damn, Genndy’s probably just happy to let his most iconic character have a passionate and wholesome moment after nearly dying for the billionth time, but no it’s somehow an agenda of being homo/acephobic or something about how Ashi is only there as a trophy for hetero romance despite having an entire character arc built up and learning to trust someone after having been brainwashed her entire life - like who better for her to fall in love with but a man so positive and full of goodness, the one she was told was nothing but evil and must destroy???? on her journey to find Jack and learning more about the people he helped, how could she not become infatuated learning not only that everything she knew about him was completely wrong, but that he’s an actual legit nice person to admire the strength and bravery of? what’s rushed or forced about that?
if Ashi was a man yall just wouldn’t say a damn thing about her agency or how quickly they got together, and I think it speaks bigger volumes about you as a person if you’re reducing her to merely a romantic device trope only and ignoring how amazing she is and has been as a character who doesn’t need to be rescued like a damsel or that she needs a Dad to teach her like she needs to be infantilized lol
if you stop seeing her as an incredibly great woman just cos she fell for an incredibly great man that’s all on you and your issues lol
and yeah you can criticize and hate the ship all you want, but so much of your reasoning and logic is flawed and I’m allowed to criticize it too
You and Yoongi have been together for almost two years. You have never been the jealous type, but sometimes you got insecure about you relationship. You never told him tho, cause you trusted that he loved you. In that period he was working on a song with Suran and he spent all his time with her at the studio. You always thought that she was hella beautiful and talented, and the fact that she was always with you boyfriend didn’t really made you happy. You could only see him late at night, if you were still awake, and most of the times he was too busy to even answer his phone. For the first weeks you kept quiet and didn’t say anything every time he got home late, just saying he had been busy before falling asleep next to you. After sometime, you started worrying. You didn’t want to seem clingy or annoying, but you started texting him more often, hoping he would understand that you were missing him and that you wanted him to be with you and not with her. One day, he came home at a decent hour and you had the luck to see him, or so you though. You went to greet him and hug him, but he didn’t hug you back. 《How was work?》you asked 《Like always》he simply answered 《What did you do with Suran?》 《Jesus Christ! Every time I come home you ask me what I did with Suran! We worked. Not that you would understand the meaning of that, you do nothing all day》he snapped 《I didn’t mean it like that》you whispered 《Of course you did! Do you think I didn’t see how fucking clingy you have been recently?》 《I’m not clingy, I only miss you》you shouted back 《Just admit that you are jealous and stop bothering me》 《I’m not jealous》you said He rolled his eyes and turned back, to go the bedroom. You couldn’t hold it back anymore, so you decided to take it all out. 《I’m just fucking scared that you’ll leave me for her! A relationship with her would be easier, you wouldn’t have to hide her from everyone all the time. And she is beautiful, talented, and famous like you. I am nothing, just a normal girl that you met at a caffe, and that clung to you right after. Sometimes I really wonder why are you with me. We barely see each other and we have to hide from the world every time we want to do something. You should be with someone like you, not waste your time with me》 You were a crying mess, and your boyfriend was looking at you with a blank look on his face. 《You know what? You’re right》he said, and your heart dropped to your feet 《I should be with someone that’s worth it, and not waste my time with you》 He went to the bedroom that you two shared, and left you alone in the living room, frozen in you place, with tears running down your face. You forced yourself to react, you took you phone, put on you jacked, and run out of you house.
"Namjoon is a genius and namjoon is in the top tier of kpop rappers." How so? I don't disagree, I just want to hear some Namjoon appreciation.
me: loves this ask
me: takes 8 years to respond
im sorry i took forEVER to respond pal! i wanted to do this justice and ive been hella busy
OKRR. SO THIS IS WHY JOONIE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST
1) lets look at the obvious first; the reception of various rappers and the general rap community
Warren G: “Even though I wasn’t able to understand his lyrics completely, I can say that it was really good. The flow, the style and his rhythm are all very good.” and “When listening to Rap Monster’s songs, it sounds a bit like me or Snoop Dogg rapping over the beats to what we’ve made.” AND “If I comment from an artist and a producer point of view, Rap Monster is one of the best rappers I know. The way he delivers his rap is outstanding.” (me: *chokes*)
Tiger JK: called namjoon “the industry junior who changed his preconceptions about idols.”
SPIN Review: “With smartly snagged instrumentals from Run the Jewels and Big K.R.I.T., a cameo from Tech N9ne sidekick Krizz Kaliko, and surprisingly sturdy hooks on the piano-bar blues “Life” and the hammering standout single “Do You,” Kim Namjoon actually stands a chance of making a dent in the States.”
XXL Mag: “Rap Monster rarely fails to live up to his name. The Ilsan, South Korea-raised rapper is one of the region’s most dexterous rappers, capable of switching flows effortlessly as he glides across an array of diverse instrumentals.”
DJ Booth (Lucas G): “I really like the balance between rapping in Korean and rapping in English. If the project was all in Korean, I’m not sure I could have connected with him but by mixing the two languages together he provides the listener with a brand new experience; I don’t feel like a passive listener. Shit even when he’s rapping in Korean, I can still feel his words. He’s got a hunger and an excitement that can be felt in any language.”
Tony Jones: “Rap Monster can outrap any rapper” (tbh not super relevant but i had to include it bc its so cute)
i highkey feel like there is more but rn im functioning on half my brain cells rip
2) lyrics; this is really important to me. lots of ppl pick rappers off of their beats and how lit they are.. THIS ISN’T RAPPING. if yall want lit beats tune into the producer or just listen to trap. that’s not what rap is about.
lyrics are CRAZY important! and like, diss and bragging lyrics are such a sidebar. if you can only diss and brag I’m sorry but you aren’t worth shit lol.
here in my opinion are some of his best lyrics (READ THIS SHIT! YALL PLEASE)
“the thing that redeemed me too, the things that pushed into me - the distant precipice and everything, that’s all me - foolish humanity, you too can become gods - hold your head straight and try, a saint’s smile - Jesus’ footsteps, Allah’s prayers - even until Maria’s love, all of it is inside you - this is unconditional redemption and unconditional belief” (God Rap)
“I live to understand the world - But the world didn’t once understand me” (Always)
“these people who clamor for respect with their own mouths - even they don’t know the misjudgments of those words - freedom and self-indulgence, they’re obviously different” (Do You)
“if you look less at wits, there are a lot of things that change - you were born as a hero, why are you trying to become a slave? - “because it hurts, it’s youth” - that kind of definition is the biggest problem - in life a genre is a trap, just like music - because you become an idiot as soon as you’re tied down there - fuck that.” (Do You)
“every night inside me I quietly fight with myself - my heart pounds, my colleagues stab me in the back - while saying that I became a moron after joining a company- yeah fuck you I’m an idol, yeah yeah I’m an idol - at one time I hated it but now I love to get that title” (Awakening)
“I thought I could catch the mirage known as happiness - but the me in front of my desk wasn’t happy even for a moment - without my mom knowing, I put a sheet of white paper between the pages of my workbook - my identity that I wrote down matched to the drum and bass - a different, relaxed feeling compared to when I got my report card” (Voice)
“do you know the reality that there’s no shadow in the fire? - then will I become the fire or will I become the light, that’s my question - so if I become the light then in the daylight, then the darkness - closes his eyes when it’s bright and when others sleep, opens his eyes again - even though I felt suffering I thank you” (God Rap)
“life is more beautiful knowing that we’ve taken a loan on death - even light is treasured more when there’s darkness - the sunshine appears after we’ve passed through the storm” (Life)
“but the thing that we all learned at some point was how - to step on someone, to catch them, to erase them, to hate them - fuck all the peace and love, I know that that’s the natural enemy of success - that’s too obvious” (Life)
“everything can coexist, positive and negativity - the thing that guides me and this world is ultimately those two’s synergy - all wanderings related to existence, sometimes until they’re chaotic - even those moments now seem lovable - if you’re confused about what is right and what is wrong - what makes me want to live again, think about it” (I Believe)
OK SO LIKE THESE ARE DISS LYRICS BUT YALL BETTER KNOW THIS IS SOME OF THE MOST SAVAGE SHIT IVE EVER HEARD: “Even if you don’t like me, you know me - I like hate comments more than no comments - I DON’T KNOW YOU - BUT YOU KNOW MY NAME” (Cypher 4)
3) delivery… every rapper has their own style and namjoon for sure has great fucking delivery omg (that voice tho). in terms of pure flow i have three fav songs…
Awakening: the song that made me a Rap Monster fan (way before I knew what kpop was). The intensity and emotion in his voice still gives me chills.
Joke: his vocal control, his phrase stylization, his ability to spit so flawlessly with like no air… Joke is ALL about flow
P.D.D.: so chill… but the way he raps still draws in the listener; this is partially due to the natural depth and beauty of his voice, but a lot of it is in the energy his delivery has, even when it’s relaxed as fuck. namjoon raps like he’s telling a story, and the rise and fall of his voice is perfectly responsive and sensitive to his lyrics.
4) live stages! his lives are great. i won’t say they’re perfect, but they are still awesome and he always gets hype as FUCK and gets the audience into it
What Am I To You: i literally get so fucking emotional. dont debate this with me, this is honestly his best live stage ever. fucking flawless.
Do You: you see me bopping to this shit in my home? im getting fucking hyped yall as i write this
OKAY BOO BOO HOPE YOU LIKED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! comment/reblog with what you think makes Namjoon an amazing rapper!!
as always, if you think im wrong, pls message me ;)
Bro. Bro. i want to take a sip on this krisgate. I only joined this fandom last year so I've only read the legal side of kris leaving -law suits, sm cover up- and ive never read details because most articles talk about all 3 vaguely. Omg. What is all of this? Is there a luhan-gate and tao-gate too? what. happened.
WAit??? do new baby exo-ls really not know exactly what went down during the breakup of 2014?? like is it really that vague did sm cover up that much??? this is wild i feel like im homer abt to bestow the odyssey on all of u xdbskznks if i don’t post that means sm’s sent someone to take me out
it was all really confusing tbh because qe were getting info left and right and some of it was just rumors to instill panic but like basically kris didnt tell exo he was leaving he just straight up rolled out a window or something and then filed a lawsuit and it was wild bc exo started unfollowing him on ig really suddenly (rumor has it they were forced to do it mostly bc baekhyun kept following kris despite everyone else unfollowing before he suddenly unfollowed and a really wild rumor flew around that said that they used violence to make bbh listen) exo m was back in korea and on lockdown and suho did have one interview where he talked about kris (i dont really remember but i think he was telling kris to come to his senses or something this might be made up tho but i think sm was attempting to get kris to not file the lawsuit first) exo had their first concert tour in a couple days and it was honestly v sad i bet they were exhausted :( lawsuit stuff were coming out and exo didnt even talk about kris again until their second happy camp (even tho they didnt even use his name anyway) and like 2014 was a mess bc when a new lawsuit news development came out suddenly baekyeon was found out (conspiracy theorists say their relationship was used to distract the public from sm’s lawsuit and their human rights violations)
anyway luhangate was relatively less dramatic mostly bc luhan told exo about it. he was basically hospitalized from being overworked the months before but sm kept making him work and his last stage was the concert in beijing and im pretty sure the rest of the band knew he was leaving because they all looked sad and kept clinging to him (specifically yixing and minseok) and luhan looked so teary eyed and so so so tired and sick it was heartbreaking. luhan left and suho said something about supporting luhan even tho luhan filed the same lawsuit as kris
taogate was just….woah….because he sprained his ankle and he was made to get medicine by himself and at the beginning of 2015 he was apparently “sent” to LA for rehab for his leg but i think exo already knew at that point (there were no bday wishes for him on ig at least not publicly….im emo…..my baektao hort cried) then a statement came out that taos father wanted him to leave for health reasons and tao just never came back he started making new music but technically speaking he hasnt filed a law suit and is technically under contract (unless they negotiated by now idk) so he wasnt allowed to sell albums, he still made mvs tho and rumor has it he still talks to exo members when he goes back to korea and he said he still talks to luhan but probably not to kris tbh….
tbh the whole 2014 mess was why exo cried so hard when they won the daesang at the end of the year because they thought they’d lost it all after everything and they worked so hard to get it back….my babies….tbh also krisgate was the reason why let them rest culture began among international kpop fans….we’re all still hurt….and thats what you missed on glee
lmao i fuckin’ knew Kiri’s hair was black and it wasn’t just some shading innacuracy or w/e
MINA AAAAHHHHH YOU’RE SO CUTE AND SWEET AND BADASSS
“THEY STARTED BREAKDANCING!!”
aawwww so Kiri did know Mina before, but she had no idea about him (or at least, since he changed his hair, Mina just doesn’t recognize him as someone she went to school with before). that’s what i figured was the case with these two, but it answers the question of why they never talk even tho they went to the same school
I LOVE THAT THEY SHOWED MINA BEING SUPER SCARED AFTER HELPING THOSE GIRLS AAAHHHH
KIRI!!!! YOU JUST WANNA HELP AAAAAAHHHHH YOU’RE SO SCARED OF NOT BEING SPECIAL AND HAVE SUCH LOW SELF CONFIDENCE, BUT YOU JUST WANNA HELP AAHHHH BUT YOU DID IT CHILD!!! YOU DID IT YOU MADE IT INTO UA YOU’RE LIVING THE DREAM, DON’T DOUBT YOURSELF CHILD, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!
omg Kirishima got inspired by Izuku and Bakugou without knowing it was them, that’s so cute….
Kirishima and Mina look so cute and tiny in their middle school outfits i’m cry
Imagine Lance going to school and pretend to be happy and make jokes all the time then when he gos home he would get yelled at or something like that to clean up the house even tho it was his little brothers and sisters who made the mess. Then he would take a long af shower where he would just sit in the shower and contimplate life and just cry and then spend like five more minutes in the shower washing up and shit like that and then go to bed. Then the entire cycle repeats again untill one day he just breaks down at school and decides he hates his life so much so he decides to off himself in the guys locker room shower that people barely use and Shiro and Kieth catch him right before he decides to hang himself.
so we all know how victor was depressed prior to yuuri and that he sort of breathed life into him (he didn't like magically cure his depression or anything, but he made him feel *something* again). what would happen after a really big fight of theirs, when victor feels like he might lose the one thing that's brought him genuine happiness in years, even tho that'll never happen?
It’s normal, Mila tells Yuuri, to have arguments in a relationship.
He watches Victor from across the rink, where he’s practicing his quad flip over and over again, hardly looking up from the ice, posture stiffer than it should be. He falls, at some point, and a few people race over to help him, but his glare scares them away. They’d had arguments before, but never arguments like this.
(It hurts, but he knows it’ll work out. Knows that it has to.)
Victor leaves the rink early that day. Yuuri leaves late, figures that Victor needs some space. The argument, which had been over whether or not Yuuri would retire this upcoming season, hadn’t necessarily involved either of them being at fault. It was a lack of communication more than it was a genuine argument–heated emotions on both sides and the underlying need to just have a long, decent discussion.
He comes home and sets his duffel bag down by the front door, toeing off his shoes. He’s not sure whether or not he should slip in bed beside Victor, or whether Victor will be in bed at all. He’d grabbed a quick dinner with Georgi and Mila and figures that Victor must’ve eaten by now, too.
Carefully, he steps into the doorway of their bedroom. The bed is empty.
adam driver didn’t cry when he wasn’t a part of tfa marketing uwu it’s all about the money they get!!!!
unless it’s not? they sidelined the poc like it was nothing FINN DESERVED TO BE UP FRONT AND CENTER IN THAT FUCKING TEASER TRAILER OR THE POSTER AND IT WAS OBVIOUS JOHN WAS SUPRISED IN A BAD WAY WHEN THEY FIRST SHOWED IT DURING SWCO him and daisy were the leads, they were in this together and suddenly kathleen kennedy and his good ole pal rian johnson decided they only needed rey??? those who know me know that i simply live and breathe for my queen daisy ridley and i love rey and it’s so sad to say this but even tho she’s the main if a poc played her the story would become ONLY about kylo ren
it’s just kathleen kennedy doing shit
john didn’t even bother retweeting the trailer, he wasn’t excited AT ALL remember his reaction video when tfa trailer came out…… you did wrong to that boy and i hate everyone responsible for it KELLY MADE A GODDAMN TWITTER ACCOUNT right before the release of the trailer she was probably hopeful to see her character’s debut but it didn’t so she didn’t tweet anything and left it there
oh but adam driver, the ugly white man who plays the character that KILLED FUCKING HAN SOLO OFF is right to have that trailer all for himself
fucking rian johnson would replace rey’s scenes even if he could probably for the sake of his misunderstood child being explored better
Hi! Can you write one where joker finds out the reader is selfharming? Like when he catches he doing it?
!!!! WARNING !!!!
THIS MIGHT/CAN BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE: IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO TOPICS SUCH AS: self harm, depressing thoughts, blood, gore etc DO NOT READ THIS! I DON’T WANT YOU GUYS TO GET TRIGGERED. I CARE ABOUT YOU SO PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
Side note: I’m not trying to romanticise self harming in any way. It was requested and (warning, an opinion is coming!) I think that people should write anything really. I mean, for some murder can be an awful topic. If no one wrote about crime, there would be no detective stories, comics etc. Just saying!
The pain was one feeling that made me feel alive. I didn’t feel completely empty, numb and dead inside when I made myself feel something. When the blood tickled down my skin or the electricity pinched me, I felt alive. Funny how a few weeks ago I was scared to do this, so terrified that my boyfriend the Joker would find it. I still was, but I reached a point where I couldn’t stop.
I cut myself, not so it was super obvious, but sometimes here and there. What I mostly did was something different. I used a few wires and a battery to give myself shocks. It hurt like fuck and rarely left marks. Of course my skin was bruising but J wouldn’t suspect a thing. It was better so. He wouldn’t understand anyway.
I was a disgrace, a stupid girl who couldn’t do anything right. I felt like J would kill me off sooner or later because no one would want someone like me around for too long. Right? Who the fuck would put up with me for longer than a couple months? I was surprised J hadn’t realized what kind of a fool I was by now.
It was Monday evening in Gotham city. J was out somewhere with his goons so I was all alone in the penthouse. The day had been okay so far, but then things turned upside down when I was alone. My thoughts were clogged with bad memories, all the negative things people had told me, my super awful years and simply depressing thoughts. Like Joker hated me, he only used me, the entire world hated me. Stuff like that.
A couple hours passed and then I found myself in our purple bedroom, sitting on the floor close to the bathroom just in case I had to hurry there. I stared at the electricity gadget in front of me. My vision was a little blurry because I had been crying earlier. Tonight seemed worse. I needed something worse than some shocks. ‘’Fuck it’’ I spat out and got up, walking hazily to the bathroom. I opened a white drawer and grabbed a razor. The small cold metal could do a lot of bad things.
I looked at my almost clean wrist. It was very tempting since I used to cut my legs. J would see if I had a lot of scars on my wrist. One couldn’t be too obvious. So I took a deep breath and placed the sharp metal on my wrist, pressing it gently to add pressure.Then I just stared at it with my heart beating harder than normally. I just had to drag it, down, then it would be done.
‘’Come on now’’ I growled at myself, getting angry because I couldn’t find the guts to do it. Then I leaned against the bathroom wall and I tried again. I just couldn’t. My gut twisted because I was a little pissed off with myself. ‘’Do it you sick idiot! It’s not like anyone cares’’ I spoke out loud once I saw my reflection in the mirror. I saw an ugly worthless girl. I gritted my teeth and then let the anger take the best of me. I made a deep cut and then I dropped the razor on the white tile floor. It took me a couple seconds to realize what I had done.
Blood started oozing out of the fresh cut and it hurt more than I expected. ‘’Oh no’’ I whispered and quickly pressed the wound with my clean hand. I made a huge mess! J would get so mad if he saw a ll this blood! ‘’Shit shit shit’’ I hissed under my breath and hurried to another drawer, pulling out a towel. Then I fell down on my knees and I tried to clean the blood. It just soaked the green towel and my bleeding wound kept making a mess. Before I could do anything else, I was stopped.
‘’What the hell is going on?’’ I heard a very familiar voice by the bathroom door. My entire body froze on the floor, every single muscle and cell just tensed up once Joker’s voice rang through my ears. How long had he been here?
‘’Accident..it was an accident’’ I lied with fear in my voice. Then I started getting lightheaded. I felt like I could just go to sleep for years. But I was also scared shitless now that J caught me. ‘’Don’t..lie’’ He tried to say as calmly as he could, but Joker wasn’t the best anger controller. I could tell that he was fucking disappointed in me. The way he spoke sent a shiver down my spine.
I fucked up.
‘’I’m not lying’’ I whispered with tears in my throat. Suddenly I felt like I could sit on the floor all night. I ignored eye contact and I focused on breathing. In and out.. in and out..
Joker growled something under his breath and I could tell that he struggled to keep as calm as he was. Then he kneeled down in front of me, roughly grabbing the towel and then my arm. I had to bite my lips so I wouldn’t start whimpering when he pressed the towel on my cut, pressing it so the bleeding would stop. He faced down so I couldn’t see if he was super angry or sad. It honestly scared me a little bit.
‘’I swear I-I’ll clean up’’ I broke the silence, because it was killing me. Suddenly J raised his head so he could face me. His red lips were pulled into a thin line and there was a dark, perhaps dull twist in his icy eyes. I tried my best to look into his eyes without crying, but it didn’t take long to fail. His silence was just awful because I knew what he was thinking, what he was doing.
Tears blurred my vision and before I knew it they were rolling down my face. My body started trembling and then I sobbed quietly. Why wasn’t he speaking to me? ‘’Why?’’ I finally heard his voice. Now he sounded both angry and somber. I covered my eyes with my other hand and I tried to wipe away my tears, but I couldn’t stop crying. It’s like all my feelings I had kept inside wanted to burst out. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to explain it to someone who could react in ways I couldn’t imagine. Even tho he was my boyfriend..
Joker did the unexpected. He scooted right next to me and pulled me closer to him by wrapping his strong arms around me. I leaned against his chest. Soon after he started comforting me the best he could, which was a lot coming from him. J ran his fingers up and down my back, slowly, but so I felt his presence. Then he let me cry. I felt like a kid, crying wildly before it could speak. That was exactly my situation.
‘’What made you do this?’’ He asked me with a raspy voice when I calmed down a little bit. I grabbed the towel hard and I tried to take a deep breath. I had nothing to lose anyway so I could tell him anything. ‘’My thoughts’’ I started with a small voice. I had to tell him, because knowing J he wouldn’t let me off the hook until I told him the truth and if there was a person behind something. Once a guy yelled at me in the club because I apparently bumped into him, ruining his outfit with a drink. J shot the guy in the head, just like that.
‘’My thoughts are so mean to me, it’s like I have a bully in my head’’ I tried to explain something. Then I sniffled and blinked a couple tears away. J played with my hair and let me continue. So I simply told him anything that came to my mind. I told him about my past, my bad childhood, stupid exes and how the voices in my head seemed to get louder and more cruel. Everything.
‘’I just feel so worthless, like you’ll dump me soon and then I’ll have nothing’’ I whispered, partly hoping that he couldn’t hear that part. Suddenly he stopped playing with my hair, making me nervous. I hadn’t looked up to him while talking so I didn’t know his mood. I turned a little so I could look at his face. He seemed surprisingly sad. His red lips were parted a little bit and his eyes were very tedious. First he looked into my eyes, then my tearstained cheeks and my wrist where his eyes stayed.
A wave of guilt slapped my face. I made him look so sad. It’s all my fault..
‘’Why haven’t you told me anything before?’’ He wanted to know, this time being the one avoiding eye contact. My heart skipped a beat. I expected him to pull out his gun and put a bullet through me. ‘’Because I didn’t want to bother you J. I-I didn’t want to seem weak’’ I explained myself carefully. J shut his mouth and looked at me again. Then he put his big hand on my cheek, gently. ‘’You’re not weak baby. Damn..’’ He growled and tilted his head from side to side. He was probably debating inside his head whether he should sound harsh or try to stay calm.
‘’You took down a group of armed men by yourself, you managed to get a cold man like me to feel things. Remember when we met?’’ He questioned me with a deep and raspy voice. I nodded, wondering why he brought that up. ‘’You weren’t scared. While everyone else were down on the floor, scared for their lives, you stood out. You walked up to me and I could have shot you, but no. You were so brave. So you’re not weak. If you were weak, you’d be dead by now’’ He told me very honestly without sugarcoats.
‘’But you must promise me something, and I’m not letting you break that promise’’ He warned me seriously. I knew what he would say, but I still waited. ‘’Don’t ever, I mean never ever do this to yourself again’’ He tried to make a deal. The tone in his voice was harsh and I knew why. He wasn’t playing around. ‘’I promise’’ I sighed and faced down, feeling ashamed. I couldn’t do anything right.
J touched my jaw and made me look at him. ‘’I trust you kitten, I really hope you can keep it. The next time you feel this way, speak to me. We can either talk and be like normal people, or go and find a toy to torture. You don’t have to hurt yourself when there’s plenty of people around’’ He suggested seriously with a small smile. The suggestion sure sounded more thrilling.
‘’I’m sorry J’’ I apologized and sighed. I knew I’d have a scar on my wrist to remind me of this whenever I saw it. ‘’Mmh’’ J breathed out and shut his eyes.I didn’t even want to picture what it would be like to find him in my shoes and me in his. If I ever saw J so broken, I’d break too. Did he feel the same way about me? Or was I in deeper than he was? I had no idea and I didn’t want to find out.
‘’Let’s clean you up’’ He declared after a while. Then he got up and helped me on my feet as well. After sitting down and bleeding for a while, standing made me lightheaded. J put his hands on my shoulders so I could let my blood flow and clear my head. ‘’Thanks’’ I murmured silently. Damn this crying made my head hurt.
‘’And just so you know, after a bath and sleep we’re going to find your old bullies and torture them’’ J let me know and then he started filling the tub. I looked at him, first without an expression but then the corners of my mouth carved into a wicked smile. He truly cared about me. ‘’I can’t wait’’ I replied and then the flame of revenge burnt down my misery, at least for the moment.
My wings are articulated and they’re not attached to my hands in any ways (Though I’m planning to change that by adding a string connected to my hand because my original way of pulling them up didn’t work, they’re too heavy with the feathers).
Here are some pictures of the base:
The idea of articulated wings is that the whole structure moves when you lift/move one part.
As you can see from the picture there are 3 longer and 2 shorter pieces. They’re made out of plywood but I’ve heard that balsa wood is a better option.
There are a total of 7 (14) joints at the points where the pieces of wood overlap. Each wing is attached to the back with a hinge so that I can fold them behind me (Useful in crowds and when walking through doors).
Then there are the feathers, aka the reason I never want to touch scissors again
I used 7m (23 feet) of white felt. I soaked the whole amount of fabric (in pieces) in a mixture made out of glue and water to harden them. It takes at least one or two days for them to dry completely. I forgot to flip some of them around at least once so they got stuck on the floor, dont do that. Cover your floors! I used some big trash bags I found lying around.
I also glued some sticks to the longest feathers after cutting them out to give them more support and to make them look more feathery–like. I made probably 400–500 feathers. I recommend getting your friends to help cutting them if you don’t want to lose your mind :’D
Getting the feathers attached was a tricky part. You can’t just glue them to the base or they’ll be sticking into odd directions when opening/closing the wings.
They need to move around freely so basically I just sticked a loop of wire to each feather. Then I put another piece of wire through it and secured it into place by twisting the two ends together. After that I glued the thing to the frames.
So beautiful! But hey, they aren’t supposed to show. Hot glue is gonna be your best friend at this point.
The biggest feathers are all attached to one big ”ring” made out of thicker wire. Big mess and the backside of the wings.
The feathers are in 3 layers, each layer overlapping the previous feathers:
The primaries and secondaries (1st layer) are painted from both front- and backside. The 2nd and 3rd layers cover the framework so you’re gonna need a lot of feathers over them. Note that wings don’t look the same from both sides!
I used the same technique for attaching the 2nd layer as for the 1st (wire-thingy) but I glued 3 feathers into each other to save time.
The 3rd layer is just glued to the top because will face the right way even if you do so.
When I had attached the feathers they were just hanging straight down (gotta love gravity). I had to do something to get them to lift up when I open the wings so I sewed them together. There goes a thread in the middle of each feather giving the wings also a maximum opening point (which is pretty big). I made some knots that the thread doesn’t slip away.
You won’t be able to do anything with these if you can’t get them on. I made a harness that you put on like a backbag through a hole in the shirt.
And woop, there it is! A pair of hella big articulated wings.
A picture of them closed
– This is kind of obvious but making wings like this is expensive and time consuming. I used probably around 100€ for the materials and the hours I’ve spent on this project are also close to a hundred (2 weeks of working from 10AM to 8PM or more, ugh)
– If you decide to do something like this please be careful not to strain yourself too much! I was crouching on the floor for many days in a row and my back and knees hurt like hell in the evenings. Also my right hand still hurts from bending all the wire although it’s been a week already.
– You’re gonna need space. No, not a small corner with a little table, I mean a huge amount of space. For the most of the time you need to work with the wings open (on a floor unless you have an enormous table), and mine are twice the size of me! tho I’m a 16–year–old short girlThe wingspan is around 4+ meters, so, yeah. Of course you could always make smaller ones which I really do recommend.
– Surprise, this is also really messy! Especially the feathers make a big mess and you’re gonna get little pieces of felt stuck everywhere.
– This requires some sort of knowledge of using different tools. And skill. Feel free to challenge yourself but this isn’t the easiest sort of thing to do. It was hard even for me although I’ve made a pair of (still) wings before.
– These were surprisingly easy to wear around the convention even though the place was small. They are pretty heavy but not too much to not be able to wear them for 2 days straight.
– I bet that there are a lot better ways to do some parts and I’m fixing them & updating this tutorial when I can figure out better alternatives. (Also if you can think of something before me, send me a message!)
I hope that this was at least somewhat useful although it’s not really detailed. If you do make something inspired by this I’d love to see the results. Also it would be great to put a link to this so that other people can also get help making a pair uvu
Edit: Check out also my “davesprite cosplay” tag at my blog for more information!