(de)absolve

Les Amis + their weird talents/party tricks
  • Enjolras: Can hang spoons of any size from his nose.
  • Courfeyrac: Can do handstands and recite the entirety of The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe. Yes, at the same time.
  • Combeferre: Can draw a detailed realistic moth from memory. The reason this still astounds people is that Ferre is completely incapable of drawing literally anything else. He has personally banned Pictionary on Games nights.
  • Grantaire: Grantaire has a MULTITUDE of party tricks. They collect them like Pokemon. Including but not limited to: Juggling, beatboxing, circular breathing (they learned the didgeridoo on a gap year in Australia), and card tricks.
  • Joly: Can wiggle their ears and they are VERY proud.
  • Bossuet: Makes dart guns from the pages of a magazine. Also folds really cool paper planes.
  • Jehan: Was a gymnast as a child so their body b e n d s. Can do the splits with ease. Can also throw knives but that tends to not really come up at parties.
  • Bahorel: Can flip a pile of 18 beer mats and catch them in mid air with one hand.
  • Feuilly: Origami. also not just paper; also napkins and towels. Paper origami he learned from the Japanese lady who ran his first orphanage. The other two he developed through working in hotels and restaurants. Can Also play the spoons and harmonica.
  • +
  • Marius: Can play La Marseillaise on wine glasses filled with water. He had a lonely childhood.
  • Cosette: Really good at body percussion. She and Marius do a very odd but very cool rendition of La Marseillaise together.
  • Eponine: Can bend her thumb back to touch her wrist bc of her weird joints. Can bend her arm at an odd angle bc of an old broken bone that didn't heal right.
  • Musichetta: Can say any word you give her backwards without seeing it written down. They only discovered this bc she would mutter to herself and everyone thought it was Urdu but eventually they realised she was actually saying everything backwards.

Non mais c’est bien de se planquer derrière ses privilèges. C’est cool si toi, t’as la conscience tranquille en te disant que tu vas pas voter. Pas moi. Parce que ouais, je suis féministe, athée, bisexuelle, prolo et pas blanche. Tout ce que l’autre nazillonne déteste. Alors moi, je vais voter. Je vais bouger mon cul le 7 mai et je vais prier pour qu’on ne tombe pas dans le fascisme, prier pour que tout le monde se réveille et qu’on évite encore une fois ce putain d’iceberg autour duquel on tourne depuis des années. Pour la première de ma vie, j’vais prier. 

“I’m sure I heard something,” said William.
Dibbler cocked an ear.
“Sort of like a rumbling?” he said.
“Yes.”
They stared into the slowly rolling clouds that filled Broad Way.
Which became, quite suddenly, a huge tarpaulin-covered cart, moving unstoppably and very fast…
And the last thing William remembered, before something flew out of the night and smacked him between the eyes, was someone shouting, “Stop the press!”

– the beginning | Terry Pratchett, The Truth