Breaking... Ch. 11
A/N: AHHHH THIS CHAPTER TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED I HOPE YOU LIKE IT EVERYONE!!!
Warnings: Cursing, questioable decisions, plot
Tags!: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @renae-writes @deltablue202 @literally-melonkitty @meunicorn @favouritefighting-frenchman @demi-godamit @gum-and-chips @sweaterkitty-fluff @pinkyiger7 @littlemissshortcakes @msageofenlightenment @unprofessional-inhumanbeing @fandom-panda-221 @hummusandchips @spoopy-piineapple @ashwolfcub @myself-and-the-madman @sweet-fate @superwholockbooknerd526 If anyone else wants to be tagged please just send me an ask!
The haze you had fallen into slowly lifted off of your fatigued body. Why is it so damn hot? You stretched out your body, which was surprisingly difficult due to the immense amount of blankets laying on top of you. You pushed them off of you and sat up, your body feeling stiff. What the hell happened? I don’t know how much more of this crap I can take. These outbursts keep getting worse and they hurt like hell… Why can’t the late 1700s have internet?! You pushed yourself off the bed and wobbled towards the door, your legs were still feeling a bit weak. Just as you were about to open the door you heard a voice somewhere close by. You quietly opened the door and peeked your head out to find the voice, or more accurately the voices. You looked towards the stairs and found Alex and Rachel talking to each other.
“I’m worried Alexander… I don’t know if I take care of her, I don’t even know what’s wrong!” Rachel exclaimed.
“I understand Rachel; I am worried about Titania as well. Since you refuse to allow me to stay until she awakes I can only trust you to help her. I believe in you, your strong, resourceful and have a good head on your shoulders, you’ll know exactly what to do when the time comes.” Alex tried to reassure her but she looked troubled. He sighed and continued. “I only saw your mother a few times while she was alive but I can easily say you are the spitting image of her, you even have her name. However, whenever I look at you I only see your father. You’re a fighter, I know you’ll persevere.” Alex smiled, Rachel smiled back.
“Thank you Mr. Hamilton.” She said hopefully Alex chuckled.
“You know you don’t have to call me Mr. Hamilton, Alexander works just fine. Just because you’re an adult now doesn’t mean I am any less of your friend.” Rachel looked down for a moment, almost like she was debating something.
“Very well, Alexander you better hurry up. The coach will be here soon and we do not want to keep the children waiting.” Aw, I’m glad they’re on good terms again. Alex smiled down at her but the look on his face gave you the impression that he had more decide.
“Actually Rachel, there is something more I must tell you.” Just after he said that he leaned down and whispered into her ear. You could see his lips moving but you couldn’t hear what he was saying. When Alex straightened his posture Rachel’s eyes suddenly perked up.
“Wait, are you serious? That’s unbelievable…” What’s unbelievable damn it?!
“Your father was a very caring man; he would never leave you without giving you something useful. I believe you are old enough to have this responsibility. Now come, Betsy will want to say goodbye to you as well.” He turned and began to walk down the stairs, Rachel following close behind him. You quietly stepped out of the room and closed the door behind you. You walk toward the stairs and heard the bustling and excited voices of the family below. You slowly descended the stairs and saw everyone rushing about in the main room. Everyone except for Philip, he was sitting at the base of the stairs, you could only see him from the back but by the way his shoulders were slumped you could tell he was glum. Angie was wearing her baby pink under dress, white gloves and matching hat. She bounced around excitedly with AJ in his light brown vest and coat, you’d never seen him wear a hat until now, it looked too big on him. Jamie and Johnny were standing by Eliza, they were wearing similar outfits to AJ except Jamie’s was a dull red and Johnny’s was a baby blue. Eliza had on her greenish blue under dress with her hair pulled back into a loose braid. Angelica looked really similar to Angie, especially since their clothes were practically identical. Rachel was holding Willy, wrapped up in his little white bundle, she was the first one to notice you looking out at the scene.
“Y/N? Oh, praise you’re awake!” She looked like could finally breathe. Everyone looked over at you with relief, Philip specifically jumped up from his spot and climbed up to you.
“Star! How are you? Are you well rested? Are you still cold? Do you need to eat? You have been asleep since yesterday! Oh my, you look pale! Do you need my jacket? Because I could-“ You grabbed his hand and shushed him.
“Sunshine I’m alright. You can slow down a bit. And to answer your questions; yes, no, not yet, and no I do not need your jacket.” I can’t believe I made him this worried…I’m so sorry Philly… You gave his hand a comforting squeeze, he sighed and clutched into his chest.
“Thank goodness… I couldn’t sleep a wink last night! When I saw you on the ground yesterday I was scared out of my wits! You were cold to the touch… my anxieties got the best of me that night…” It’s moments like these that I remember how much younger he is compared to me. Physically it’s only three years but emotionally it must be over two hundred and fifty! I need to stop getting him all worked up… You looked up at him sadly.
“I’m sorry Philly, I don’t know what got into me there.” You weren’t lying, nothing about this situation made any sense to you.
“That’s quite alright, I’m simply happy that you are in better health! I’m glad I got a chance to see you before we leave!” He smiled blissfully at you as he helped you down the rest of the steps to meet with the others. Eliza had her arms wrapped around you in an instant.
“I’m so glad that you are up and about dear! You gave us all quite a fright!” Next it was Angie, hugging you by the waist.
“TT! You’re back! You didn’t get to help me get dressed but that’s ok! I’m going to miss you but never fear! I shall be back by your side when the frost passes!” All the boys came rushing at you at once. AJ looked happy, Jamie looked worried and Johnny was almost in tears. You kneeled down and scooped all of them up in your arms. Poor Johnny, he looks scared to death. You pulled away and wiped the tears from his eyes.
“Hey now Johnny! No need to cry over me, I’m just fine, see?” He looked and you and sheepishly nodded his head. Alexander walked into the room after turning out of the hall, carrying a satchel that he didn’t have before.
“Titania? You’re awake!” He ran over to you gave you a comforting hug. You patted him on the back to assure him of your safety.
“Alex, I’m ok, really.” You heard loud footsteps from outside and the door busting open. That seems to be a running theme in this house… It was Hercules and Cato.
“Alright everyone, the coach is ready! Everything is already packed in!” He looked over and noticed you. “Y/N? It’s good that you’re up, I heard about what happened. I’m glad to see that you’re in higher spirits!” He exclaimed. You gave him a warm smile. He’s a precious teddy bear oh geez! Rachel looked over at Cato and trotted over to Eliza, handing Willy over to her. She made her way over to you and leaned in close to your ear.
“I can’t let anyone get suspicious. When everyone is saying their goodbyes tell Cato, yes, he’ll know what it means.” She whispered and then walked past you toward the children. Rachel gave each of them a hug but it lasted a little bit longer than you expected. She’s pretty affectionate today, huh? She looked somewhat sad as she walked over to Eliza, hugging her side and saying something in her ear and then doing the same for Alexander. She really isn’t acting like herself… She didn’t even look at Cato as she made her way over the stairs. Something really isn’t right here… All the younger kids skipped over to you, you gave each of them a gentle pat on the head and told them you’d see them very soon. As they all ran out of the room, throwing their cloaks and coats on, Eliza used her free arm to give you a hug.
“Take care of the house, dear. We shall be back before you know it!” Alex helped her with her own cloak and she walked out to the carriage.
“Be careful while we’re away, alright Titania?” Alex instructed.
“Already got it covered… Dadexander!” He shook his head at your joke.
“Honestly, your word play is simply ridiculous!” He’s holding in his smile; I see you Alex! He pulled on his extra coat and followed Eliza outside, Philip was the only one left. He stepped over to you but something about his movement told you that he wasn’t too happy. Maybe it was the unusual way his shoulders were slumped, maybe it was the exaggerated steps he was taking, maybe it was how he held his arms behind his back, or maybe it was just because you knew Philip.
“I could still convince them to bring you with us, you’d like it upstate! You could meet my grandfather too, I’m sure father would be alright with letting you come-“ You shushed him, pulled his right arm from behind his back and held his hand.
“No Philly, you know I can’t go with you. It’ll only be for a couple of months, I’ll be back by your side in no time! Besides, Rachel would be lonely without me here to keep her company.” He intertwined your fingers and sighed.
“I know… I’m just worried about you is all!”
“You don’t have to worry about me. If anything I should be worried! What are you going to do without me there to make sure you don’t get into trouble?” You joked, he didn’t seem to find it funny.
“I have no idea…” You wrapped your right arm around his back, hoping that your embrace will reassure him.
“It’ll be okay; you can always write to me if that makes you feel better? After all, you do have a way with words.” You pulled away and saw a faint smile on his spotted cheeks. That’s more like it… Smiles fit you better than anything else. He let go of your hand and held his arm out to you.
“If that’s the case than I would like to at least have you escort me out, will you do me the honors?” He asked with a cheeky grin. And we’re back! You linked arms and began to walk towards the door. Everyone was outside, there were two carriages and the kids were trying to figure out who they were riding with. You saw Cato helping Eliza into the carriage, you parted from Philip.
“I’ll be right back; I have to check the luggage.” He nodded as you made your way over to Cato; once you stood by his side you whispered to him.
“Rachel wanted me to let you know that she says yes.” You pulled back and saw him literally holding in his joy. He looked like a kid on Christmas, like stupidly happy, it was great. He nodded excitedly.
“Thank you so much for telling me! This is fantastic!” He hurriedly ran over to Hercules, who was helping the Angelicas into the second carriage. Phillip made his way over to you, he must have decided to ride with his parents. You were going to say something but you were surprised when Philip grabbed both of your shoulders and pressed his lips to your forehead, holding you there like that for a moment. You didn’t move, for that matter you couldn’t, your heart skipped a beat. He moved his head away and looked down at you.
“I shall write to you every day and think of you every night when I look up to the shimmering sky. Wait for me until spring approaches, my shining star.” He hopped into the carriage and closed the door behind him as you took a step back. The coachmen had the horses pull the multicolored carriages out onto the empty roads.
“I’ll see you soon sunshine…” You spoke to yourself as the sounds of wheels and hooves got softer, the colors getting smaller and smaller. You didn’t notice how nippy the air was due to how warm your cheeks and heart felt. You heard Rachel call to you from the door.
“Y/N! What are you doing? Do you wish to fall ill?” You snapped back to reality and hurried back into the house, Rachel closing the door behind you, she looked nervous.
“So? What did he say? Was he happy? Was he upset? Did I wait too long?”
“Whoa, calm down Ray, he was extremely happy! Now you have to tell me what he was so excited about!” She seemed to shy away slightly. Okay Rachel is never shy, what’s going on? She sighed.
“I’ll tell you if you promise not to freak out and get mad at me.”
“Okay, I promise. I won’t freak out and I will never be at you. Now spill it, sister.” She took a deep breath blurted it all out at once.
“Cato and are going to run away together, we leave at the end of December!” What? WHAT?! She nodded her head happily as she read your surprised expression.
“S-Seriously? Rachel! That’s wonderful! Congratulations!” You wrapped your arms around her and squeezed her tightly. She hugged back and both you jumped up and down joyously. You separated and there were tears of joy rolling out of her green eyes.
“Thank you so much for being so supportive! I really need that tight now!” She sniffled.
“Of course I’m supportive! You’re my friend and you’re in love! Wait…why do you need support? Is something wrong?”
“It’s complicated… I’m going to him, I’ll walk if I have to, the problem is the cold. I’d probably die trying to get there… Oh no, I haven’t thought about this thoroughly!” She exclaimed. Idea! I have an idea! I love my brain!
“I’ll help you! There’s still a few horses in the stable, we can ride there together! I’ll even help you pack and everything!” You smiled at her, she looked relieved. The two of you agreed to the plan, a blissful feeling washing over you.
For the rest of that December, the two of you talked. Talked about everything she had to do. As the frost grew outside the plans started to fall through. Rachel wrote a letter to each of the family members. It took her days to figure out what to say to them, it wasn’t until you reassured that you could always write to them and most likely see them some time in the future that she was able to relax long enough to write. She gave you one of her old cloaks, the snow outside was quickly piling up. On the morning Rachel pulled you aside from your last minute preparations.
“There’s one last thing we need to get, follow me.” She said as you both fastened your cloaks. She led you down to Alex’s study and let herself in.
“Rachel? What are we doing?” You asked. She walked over to Alex’s desk and started opening drawers.
“Alexander told me that my father left me something that will help.” She reached into the back of the bottom drawer and pulled out a larger fabric sack. It looked heavy and you could see several bumps hitting the fabric.
“Alexander said that this has roughly $70 in it. My father left it with him in the intent to give it to me when I’m old enough. It won’t last forever… but it’ll be enough to get us started at least.” She set the bag inside her pack that she was bringing with her. She looked on at the house as the two of you walked through the main room. She knew it may be a while before she saw this place again, it was especially hard since the people living within were all she really knew. But she put on a brave face and followed you outside to the stables.
You picked the horse Rachel told you was most suited for the job and the two of you climbed on together. And so the two of you set out, the cold was harsh but luckily the snow was pretty calm. It took you both the entire day to reach the edge of the estate, the sun had already fallen when you found Cato waiting by the gates in a heavy coat, carrying several packs. Rachel jumped off the horse and ran toward him happily, clutching onto him.
“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this! Are sure we can trust your friend to get us to the other side of the state safely?” She asked, he nodded with confidence.
“Do not fear my love, we’ll be setting up our home together by next week at the latest!” You got off the horse and waited for them to settle. Rachel looked over at you with sad eyes, she ran over to you and gave you a final hug.
“Thank you Y/N. I’ll write to you as soon as I can! We’ll see each other before you know it!” She smiled.
“I don’t doubt that Rachel.” You grinned back. She thought for a moment.
“Before I go, let me give you one last piece of advice… Always run with the thing you love, never from it, or else you’ll lose sight of it.” She let go of you and went back to Cato and took his hand. “Goodbye, Y/N. I’ll miss you…” Her smile was sad but her eyes were hopeful. And so they went off together, disappearing into the night. You climbed back onto the horse and looked back toward the direction they went.
“I’ll miss you too Rachel…” You ushered the horse to move forward, taking the route back to the estate. But as you drew closer to downtown the wind picked up, the snow began to flurry around you. You felt the cold hit your cheeks like daggers as the night swirled around you. You tried to keep your fears down but your horse was starting to get agitated. She started to speed up, moving about in different directions, you couldn’t control her.
“Hey girl! Slow down now!” You tried to calm her but neither of you could see properly with the thick snow flying past you. “Slow down! St-“ She was going too fast and galloped against the ground too hard, you were thrown off, a scream escaping your frozen lips. You saw the earth below approaching you fast, the snow piling up but you recognized grey pieces poke out from the white mass. You hit the ground powerfully and you could pick out the sharp pain that hit the left side of your head as it pulled you away.