(aka never)

Hobi: Ahh coming, coming! ~

Hobi: Ah hey Chim Chim, what’s up?

Hobi: Eh handsome guy you say? Coming my wa–

Hobi: — ?

Both: !!!!!!!!!

Hobi: !!! HOLY SHIT – hey dude I gotta go – CALL YOU BACK LATER!!!!!!! *abruptly hangs up*

@ask-chimchim

2

i dont think i ever introduced all my sonic gijinkas on tumblr but here they are..!

Self-destruction
Self-destruction isn’t snorting the line on the party just because you want to try it for fun and thinking “I’ll do it just once, just to try it!” Self-destruction isn’t going out and drinking a little too much sometimes.
Self-destruction is taking that line even you know what will happen, knowing the side effect of that. It’s taking that line, not because of fun or people around you,  it’s because you have that urge inside you that tells you to do it, to fuck yourself up.
Self-destruction is going out with the intention to get drunk and not know about yourself the whole time just because you feel something inside of yourself that needs to be destroyed. You don’t drink because you’re sad or happy, you drink to kill that something inside of you.
Self-destruction is that smoke of cigarette you just took. You didn’t start smoking because of people around you make you do it, you started smoking because you heard it’s bad for you. Now you’re addicted. Or maybe you aren’t but you still do it.
Self-destruction is when you go to some random person you met at the bar house because of sex. You don’t know who he is, you could be anybody, you could end up dead, raped, you don’t know it won’t happen, but you go anyway. You know all the risks but you do it anyway.
Self-destruction is pushing people away and making yourself antisocial on purpose.
Self-destruction is popping painkillers even if you aren’t in pain.
Self-destruction is getting into fights on purpose.
Self-destruction is letting your id doing whatever you want.
Self-destruction is a lot of things, but it’s never a choice.
Self-destruction isn’t mental illness.
Self-destruction isn’t when you break up with your boyfriend so you lock your room and cry or go out and get drunk to forget about him.
Self-destruction is something in people, something that pulls you to the edge. It’s the sweetest sin of all of them. You can fight it, but it always wins. People keep saying to fight it like if they can fight it, you can fight it also, but if you are a really self-destructive you can’t fight it and you know it. It’s part of your reality, your life.
Not all alcoholics are self-destructive.
Not all addicts are self-destructive.
Not all drug addicts are self-destructive.
Not all who are depressive are self-destructive.
Not all alcoholics are self-destructive.
Not all addicts are self-destructive.
Not all drug addicts are self-destructive.

I smoke, I drink, I take pills – I’m not addicted to any of that.
I do it do destroy myself.

I don’t hate myself, I’m very far from hating myself. But some people do hate themselves. Some do, some don’t. everybody is different.
If somebody asked me why I do what I do I wouldn’t know how to answer. I know what is the goal, but I don’t know the main reason beside something self-destructive inside me.

For example, I know what heroin does to people but I’d love to try it. But I’ll never do it. Not because I don’t want to, but because I know what would it do to people around me. I don’t want to fuck them up. I want to fuck me up. And there are ways to do it without hurting somebody constantly.
People who are self-destructive don’t want to harm you, they want to harm themselves.

—  T.S. aka me/ things i never said out loud
  • Naruto: Sasuke makes me so mad. I just want to, like, beat him up.
  • Kakashi: Hmm.
  • Naruto: And smash his stupid smirking lips really hard with my mouth.
  • Kakashi: You've just described a kiss.
  • Naruto: *not paying attention* Maybe rip his pants off and spank him. He deserves to be spanked. Arrogant jerk.
  • Kakashi: I think you mean 'naughty boy.'
  • Naruto: And when he's moaning my name like a the weak little bastard he is, I'll- I'll, um... Like...
  • Kakashi: Flip him over and make sweet, tender love to him?
  • Naruto: Sensei, what the fuck.
  • Kakashi: Forget it. I'll just stick to my books.

when i was 11, i was in a relationship because i said “i love you” and we decided to start dating. it only lasted a month and im pretty sure he has hated me ever since we broke up.

when i was 16, i had a friend who would say “i love you guys” when all i really wanted him to say was “i love you” to me. i believed i was madly in love with him. he ended up saying “i love you” to my best friend and they are still dating to this day.


when i was 16, another friend comforted me. he said “i love you” and that he felt for me because of what had happened. he made me feel special and happy again. i said i love you too, hoping maybe this would go somewhere. we kissed in his gross garage, we were both sweaty from walking in the heat and it lasted for about 2 seconds. after that day, i never heard a word from him again.


when i was 17, i started dating a guy because he was nice, and because a guy was actually talking to me and telling me he wanted to be with me. we talked all summer and began dating in the fall. he said “i love you” after dating for about a week. December came and “i love you” turned into “what did i do to make you ignore me like this?” January came and i finally broke it off because the silence was killing me. my first true heartbreak. i still haven’t talked to him since mid December.


now I’m 18, at this point, the three words “I love you” mean absolutely nothing. for me it turned into what you say to parents and relatives. what you say because you know it will make the other person happy. its what you say because thats what you’re supposed to do in a relationship. the words had lost all meaning. my heart was broken so many times that it turned into something you say it because it feels right, not because you mean it.


and then you came along. i wasn’t expecting you to be a part of my life. you started to talk to me and i was taken aback. i was cautious. i knew that if “i love you” slipped your tongue like it had the others, you wouldn’t mean it. but for our first date, instead of meeting you somewhere, you picked me up and took me. you let me share my darkest secrets. you met my family, and i met yours. you showed me off. i was scared. i knew that if i lost you, my whole world would crash into a brick wall. i knew that you could be the one i could spend the rest of my life with. you earned my trust, something that wasn’t very easy at the time.


after 5 months, thats when i realized, i love you. i didn’t just want to say it because i felt like i had to. i genuinely love you, with every atom in my body. you bring out something in me that makes me so much happier and joyful. you are good to me. you are patient and gentle and anything i could ever ask for. so when i say this, know this is something i truly, honestly mean:


I love you.

—  n.k.//10:44
what i love you means to me

Reminder that when I was in 5th grade I went to the university library to do my research for the “Explorers” unit, then came into class and asked the teacher why he was telling us Colombus was a hero when he was a murderer and a rapist… the one and only time I ever got detention :)

can we talk about phil’s “i spent the majority of 2016 with another person” comment?

i know this has been discussed to the death but like…after a day of extreme stress and hitting obstacle after obstacle (remember how they thought they wouldn’t be able to perform the internet is here since dan lost his voice?), the world suddenly opens up and hands phil this–the highest of all highs, the greatest honor of the night. creator of the year. but he’s so utterly selfless that he can’t just not mention the man who’s stood so solidly by him throughout those past 11 months, not to mention the past 7 years. phil’s finally being recognized for the thing he’s put his heart and soul into for 10 years, for something that was once a hobby, then just the tail of a dream, and now it’s his entire life but still some people don’t understand how it’s actually a job?? he may have achieved so much, but it’s still an uphill climb.

and yet. and yet he chooses to share the award he so rightly deserves with that boy who left comment after comment, tweet after tweet, endless notes of encouragement until phil finally chose to take the plunge and talk to him. dan may or may not know it, but phil probably saw those comments before he ever really interacted with dan and they may have been some of the only things keeping him going when he may have wanted to quit. but in replying to dan, he opened up a new world for the both of them, a world of uncharted paths and slippery terrain, but he couldn’t have found a better person to cross those deep dark oceans with. phil’s built his life around dan. and he can’t even imagine not sharing this award with him because dan has been just as integral to his youtube career as he has been to dan’s. and you know what? i think that’s absolutely beautiful.