(ELF HI.)

troublesomeknight  asked:

It's recently occurred to me after reading this blog and other blogs doing read throughs of the pre-reboot Archie comics that Penders Echidnas are basically like Elves in various fantasy settings. Particularly High Elves. The most advanced species in the setting who often act superior to everyone else (and are treated as right for thinking so by the writing) and are very seclusionist. The Dark Legion could even be like Dark Elves/Drow.

Yeah, it’s a super common trope in fantasy and sci-fi–the quote unquote “peaceful” enlightened species with amazing technology under attack from its more “primitive,” aggressive neighbors

Of course then Penders had his elf echidnas be at war with some weird dingo version of Nazi Germany or something so the allegory there is all just a big mess

All the Chantry’s candles couldn’t compete with the spark that’s in your eyes

“What are you thinking about, Alistair?”

“….uuuummm… Lamp posts, definitely.”


MOM

Our party is going through our first campaign and just made it into the second dungeon of the lost mine of Phandelver, when they enter the room housing a few skeletons. Our half-elf fighter recognizes the place is of elvish nature, so our half-elf Sorcerer makes his own perception check.

Sorcerer: (rolls a nat.3) Uuuh-

DM (me): You look the skeletons over, see the runes and slowly start to believe you finally have found your mother.

Sorcerer: Mommy..?

Barbarian: Does that mean we can’t raid the place anymore?

(after a few more minutes he moves forward, starting the fight. The first skeleton gets shattered, the second hit by an acid bubble, leaving it prone and half dead)

Sorcerer: I roll to persuade the remaining skeleton of our good nature (rolls a nat.20) I, Alim, come to bring an offering to the eldest-

DM: As soon as you tell it your name, the skeleton seems to gasp and pulls it’s hands in front of his mouth, before it lets go of it’s weapons and runs towards you. It proceeds to hug you tightly. It deeply believes you to be her son.

2

ref sheet for Falindir  because after 203725904809 makeovers i’m finally happy with his design !! he’s a companion character in da:i, more background info under the cut 

as a teen he was abandoned by his clan after being overlooked to be the keeper’s first. after traveling and surviving on his own for a while he realized that getting spells tattooed into his skin would provide for more efficient harnessing of magic, because it would greatly reduce the need for a staff or verbal command. he found and paid a cultist priest to do this for him, as no one else capable was willing to do so without some promise of indentured servitude. 

well lo and behold the experiment went horribly wrong; he underestimated the amount of magical energy his lone body was able to safely contain, and lost his eyesight in the process. 

distraught and now blind, he went to the conclave to find the rebel mages and plead them to let him join their ranks, both for protection and to see if there was a way to reverse his botched self-experimentation. the Inquisition finds him wounded after the conclave explosion, and though unconscious, the Inquisitor first meets him while they are both imprisoned at Haven.

he romances with Dorian if Iron Bull is romanced by the Inquisitor.

Mark Me Down as Scared and Horny

Context: My character has a powerful necklace that they keep hidden under their shirt and several scarves. I’d tell you what it does, but my party members might read this. It was warm and muggy one day and everyone began shedding their outer layers (except for the orc brawler, who is only ever wearing pants). I take off two of my three scarves, but leave the last.

Dwarf (NPC): This might seem like a weird question, but… Why are you always wearing those scarves?

Me: I just like scarves.

Me: *total bluff check = 23*

Dwarf: That’s alright. I just don’t want you to overheat.

Orc: Yeah. You’re going to roast.

Me: Perhaps.

Orc: You’re okay with that? Is your scarf obsession really worth it?

Me: I’m sentimental.

Orc: Seriously, what the fuck.

Elf: Just leave him alone! He’s a sensitive young man!

Orc (heavy sarcasm): Well, excuse me if I don’t shed a tear.

Elf: Besides, even if it is something, we’re all allowed to have secrets.

Me (ooc): He gives you a thankful smile.

DM: Which begs the question: What is he hiding from you?

Orc (whispering to the Elf): I just don’t trust him! There’s something sketchy about him.

*everyone succeeds their perception of that exchange but me*

Me (accidentally interrupting): Look. You have every right to travel in the nude, but some of us value our modesty.

Orc (ooc): I want to roll to intimidate.

DM: The massive half orc takes a step towards you and glares down.

Elf (ooc): With his muscular bare chest. Naked by your standards. Nipples fully erect.

*everyone at the table loses it*

Me (ooc): You know what? I’m not even going to roll. I’m intimidated.

DM: He almost makes you question your sexuality.

Sis (ooc): ROLL TO SEDUCE.

Me (ooc): LENA, NO.

Orc: *actually fucking rolls = 15*

DM: You’re not sure if you’re scared or aroused.

Like 3 people in unison: Both.

Alexander Kannanton

Context: we were waiting for a party member to arrive and started talking about one characters lineage.

Kannan: Well everyone in Sudendor speaks old common in a thick Scottish accent.

Marius: what about his family?

Kannan: his father was a traveling elf who slept with his mother and left. Then his family was killed in front of him when he was young.

DM: Oh my god

Kannan: what?

DM: I have a question.

Kannan: go on

DM: How does the bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman…

Context: our half elf fighter and two halflings just convinced a bunch of goblins that they were also goblins

DM: okay they buy it what do you guys do

Halfling 1: I drink some of their alcohol

Halfling 2: I try to look at their prisoner

Half elf: I hug the goblin

DM: you what?!??

Half elf: I hug the goblin I rolled an 18

DM: ummm okay you hug this goblin and the goblin just breaks down crying in your arms

Half elf: I rub his back in small circles