It was cold and rainy alllllll day today! But by the time I headed out for my run it was only sprinkling! And it stayed that way my whole run.
I made sure to keep these miles nice and relaxed. Of course my brain did the whole “you feel tired now and have to run over twice as far and 2 minutes/mile faster on Saturday” freak out. But I did my best to dismiss those thoughts! I’ve put in 18 weeks of good training, so now I just have to trust that and have fun on Saturday!
I’m surprisingly calm though! I think about how I felt before Chicago and I am a million times more calm for this race haha I’m most excited to see how I do! I think it will be a fun race, no matter the outcome :)
“I remember,” Harry traces the length of Louis’ cheekbone. “I’m sorry I never talked to you about it. I was—I thought you didn’t remember. I thought I’d have to go, like. My whole life with this story.”
“What story was that,” Louis murmurs against his mouth.
“That I had a chance with someone I wanted,” Harry smiles, “and I let it pass me by.”
“And you vomited—”
“Yes,” Harry crowds him, arms over Louis’ shoulders, hugging tightly. “I vomited on you. I ruined your jeans.” He pulls away, nosing a delicate path back down to Louis’ lips. “Can you ever forgive me?”
“On one condition,” Louis bats his eyelashes, warm from the way it makes Harry smile wider. “You kiss me.”
“I can do that,” Harry ducks in close, breath hot.
“I wasn’t finished,” Louis pulls away. He hooks his hands behind Harry’s neck and grins. “You kiss me, at least once a day, for the rest of our lives.”
“You want forever,” Harry slides his hands down to Louis’ hips. He licks Louis’ bottom lip.
“I want forever,” Louis nods. “But for now—I just want tonight.”
So today I will be 2 days clean.
I was reading back on old conversations between me and a loved one over the past 2 and a half years.. it was pretty hard to read, honestly. It mostly consisted of us talking about picking up drugs, being negative about everything, and fighting. Lots of fighting. I’m tearing up right now just thinking back on it. Thats two and a half years we have wasted.. fighting, wasting away, missing out on life. I can only hope I use this as motivation. I domt need opiates. I never did. I used them to cope. But they didnt help me in any way, they omly ruined me. So, two days! It’s a really small step but a step nonetheless.