((yes there is an actual list))

anonymous asked:

this might be spoiler-y information to give out but is Dor actually a elephant caste of jauria? I thought I saw it listed as one of the extinct castes and was wondering, if she is, why would she be posing as a lion? your art and story are great as usual!!

AAAH I love when people remember her! She’s a tiger caste, though not extinct throughout all of Frontera it is one of the rarer species. 

Initially though. yes, she was meant to pose as a lion–the injury on her face was actually inflicted on her to keep her from being taken by Federation child collectors who come every few months to take a portion of Rajenlo’s litters. 

Producing a tiger is extremely hard as though a female breeder might have produced some previously, it’s imperative to be re-inseminated by tiger chromosomes to produce successful ones, same as with the rarer castes such as servals, leopards, cheetahs, oncillas, sabres, etc many of which are forbidden.

Tigers are very sought after by collectors, and though Dor’s injury is a major disability for her (tiger trunks are very dexterous, about and even more so than modern elephants–which serves as a tool in absence of dexterous hands) she’d still be auctioned off the instant she were discovered.

In the meantime she’s hidden in the spawning pools for Jauria cuajos, grapes and peis, essentially the kindergarden area for the little monster children. She’s nursed practically almost all of the current Jauria generations, including Bri and Karel…though very, VERY few even remember her. Though she remembers each and every sibling she’s fed, an extremely gentle soul…if somewhat clingy bc of her terrible loneliness. 


Only Buo and few others know of her existance, and keep tabs on the secret mom-sister, talking to her about the whereabouts of the surface world, new intrigues, drama, etc. 

[Revised 2/17] Books for Witches, Diviners and Spellcasters

Hi, everyone. A while back (a long time ago, actually), I started an annotated bibliography on books about witchcraft and magick, and I’ve updated it once (last November). 

Since then, I’d been keeping a list of things I need to add to it, but didn’t get around to actually reworking and updating the list a second time until today. Largely because I can’t really go outside much today because of the smog. But anyways, here it is. I’ve also included divination-related books in this version, whereas previously they were separate.

I hope you find something on here that suits your fancy! Happy reading! Also, yes, I do want to do more book reviews on this blog, so if you’d like a longer review of one of the books listed below, let me know and I can write one.

For Absolute Beginners

Encyclopedia of Witchcraft, by Judika Illes. Even better than the Weiser Field Guide to Witches - this book is huge and chock-full of information. It’ll explain in easy-to-understand language how the concept has developed throughout time, why witches do what they do, and different types of witches.

The Weiser Field Guide to Witches, by Judika Illes. This gives an excellent look at the historical lore concerning witches, from the perspective of a witch herself. It’s kind of tongue-in-cheek, but it does have some information that won’t be found elsewhere.

The Modern Guide to Witchcraft, by Skye Alexander. Great book for those who’re really absolute beginners and are wondering what witchcraft is all about. Skye takes a very postmodern, utilitarian, and unfailingly honest approach, and it’s geared towards those of almost any belief system.

Grimoire for the Apprentice Wizard, by Oberon Zell-Ravenheart. Attractively packaged and readible for almost all ages, this is a great (mostly) non-denominational look at the foundations of magical practice. It’s extremely detailed. Some of it only applies to Zell’s own tradition, but it’s quite useful, anyways.

Basic Techniques

Protection and Reversal Magick, by Jason Miller. This gets a little woo-woo at times, but he gives good advice on how to avoid serious problems that can come up as you begin to practice. Take with a grain of salt, though - some of this has the potential to make you feel paranoid.

City Magick, by Christopher Penczak. If you’re at all interested in tech witchery, or just want to practice magick within an urban setting, do check this out. It is by far the best look at the subject I’ve seen, and his discussion of urban tutelary spirits is worth the price alone.

Power Spellcraft for Life, by Arin Murphy-Hiscock. Nicely done, quite secular book providing basic beginner information regarding writing original spells and workings. It does fall prey to the trap of just listing correspondences with little information at times, but also contains a great deal of detail about ritual timing, raising power, and other topics essential for the beginner.

Sorcerer’s Secrets, by Jason Miller. This is a decent volume that describes a lot of techniques you don’t usually see in books, such as gesture and gaze-based magick. Be warned that Miller writes extensively about manipulative techniques, but it’s useful theory regardless of how you put it into practice.

Witch’s Bag of Tricks, by Melanie Marquis. This is not recommended for beginners, because the whole point of this book is to help existing practitioners refine and improve their already-established techniques. It’s got some novel ideas in it, and I like the author’s approach to symbolism in spellcasting.

Direct Magick (Energy Work)

The Un-Spell Book, by Mya Om. This non-denominational guide to working with magical forces is filled with useful exercises that go beyond the author’s previous work. I recommend reading this after reading Energy Essentials.

Instant Magick, by Christopher Penczak. Excellent beginner’s guide for those who don’t have access to a lot of fancy tools or prefer to work without them. This book won’t instantly teach you magick, but it will help even a seasoned practitioner find quicker, less-complicated ways of achieving results.

Energy Essentials for Witches and Spellcasters, by Mya Om. Though I balk at the use of the term “energy” to describe magical forces, this book is worth a look. It’s a bit like a workbook, with various exercises. Expect a lot of pseudoscience, though, and there are many religious references, but the techniques are solid.

Hedgewitchery and Astral Travel

Ecstatic Witchcraft, by Gede Parma. This is actually probably my favorite book on this subject, even though hedgeriding is only a part of what the book discusses. The only bad thing I can really say about this book is that it’s really not recommended for beginners, and it’s helpful to have the basics of visualization already mastered (for example) before doing the exercises Parma recommends.

By Land, Sky and Sea, by Gede Parma. This book goes into even greater details regarding different ways of conceptualizing the cosmology of hedgeriding, and I find it a very refreshing book that appreciatively draws from a number of different perspectives while grounding itself, so to speak, with the overarching metaphor of land, sky, and sea as the three worlds.

The Temple of Shamanic Witchcraft, by Christopher Penczak. Penczak is usually a pretty mixed bag, and this book is no exception. It gives a lot of good practical information and a very in-depth exploration of the three worlds (a useful concept), but it’s primarily framed by Wicca, so it might not resonate with those of other faiths and particularly those who aren’t pagan at all.

Ascension Magick, by Christopher Penczak. There’s a chapter or two in this that address alternate ways of conceptualizing the architecture of reality, and it’s pretty helpful for a hedgerider. Beyond that, this book is mostly about ceremonial magick, but it’s a (mostly) good book. Certain parts (such as the bit about UFOs) are a little off, in my opinion.

The Shamanic Witch, by Gail Wood. This book is really best suited for someone who practices Wicca and, besides the background info and cosmological descriptions, is really only useful in the context of that tradition. If you’re Wiccan or willing to pick around a lot of Wiccan-talk, though, this is a good foundation.

Witches, Werewolves and Fairies, by Claude Lecouteux. It can be hard to find scholarly works on these phenomena that are affordable, but here’s one I personally enjoyed. It details many accounts of journeying experienced by both pagans and Christians in earlier times, and gives a good description of the concept of the astral double, the architecture of the soul, and other topics throughout history.

Betwixt and Between, by Storm Faerywolf. This book is mostly a guide to the Feri tradition of witchcraft, but while I myself don’t practice that, those who do seem to know a lot about hedgeriding! The book has several chapters on the subject and is highly recommended for this reason.

The Psychic Energy Codex, by Michelle Belanger. A lot of people have strong opinions about this author, but this is book actually provides a lot of good information about so-called “energy work” which can be a step in the right direction for those wanting to ride the hedge.

Psychic Dreamwalking, by Michelle Belanger. In this book, Belanger discusses, essentially, how to use your non-waking life as a vehicle to for journeying, and while I myself don’t usually dreamwalk, much of what she says applies to hedgeriding in other states, too.

Hedge Riding and Hedge Witchcraft, by Harmonia Saille. I only mention these two in order to say that they’re best avoided. Saille tries to give a comprehensive look at the phenomenon, but it’s poorly-written and overly New Age. The negative reviews of them on Amazon really cover the problems with these book in more detail than I ever could.

Magical Writing, Words, and Symbols

Dictionary of Ancient Magic Words and Spells, by Claude Lecouteux. Mostly a historical text, this book isn’t exactly practical or terribly useful. It is, nevertheless, incredibly interesting. It’s a bit difficult to navigate, but worth a glance.

Composing Magick, by Elizabeth Barrette. A very general, but well-done, look at writing in a magical context. Some of the ritual templates are slightly specific to religious witchcraft traditions, but most information is widely applicable.

Crafting Magick with Pen and Ink, by Susan Pesnecker. Focuses both on the physical act of writing as a magical act, and the mental state associated with it. Highly recommended

The Modern Witchcraft Grimoire, by Skye Alexander. This book is for those who want to create their own grimoire. It gives fairly good advice for doing so, as well as providing hints and tricks for spellcasting and useful correspondences.

General Concepts

Planetary Magick, by Melita Denning and Osborne Phillips. If you want to work with the planets at all, particularly in a highly ritualized context, I recommend this book. It’s large, comprehensive and gives a good foundation beyond what you find in general astrology books.

Practical Planetary Magick, by Sorita d’Este and David Rankine. Shorter than I would have liked, but a useful reference to have on your shelf, with excellent tables and appendices in the back. The meditations are also quite useful.

Practical Elemental Magick, by Sorita d’Este and David Rankine. Should be read alongside the other book by this pair. Comprehensive guide to working with the elements in a ritualized fashion. Not as accessible to newbies as Lipp’s book, but good for seasoned practitioners.

The Way of Four, by Deborah Lipp. Though mostly geared towards Wiccans, I found this author’s in-depth treatment of the four elements highly fascinating. I will note that it’s probably best to get the print version of this book, as it contains exercises and quizzes.

Ingredients and Correspondences

The Herbal Alchemist’s Handbook, by Karen Harrison. I cannot praise this book enough for its concise and well-formulated approach to astrology, herbs, and magick as a whole.

The Weiser Concise Guide to Herbal Magick, by Judith Hawkins-Tillirson. This is excellent for anyone who’s interested in any kind of magick. Yes, the focus is generally herbs, but there’s a lot to be learned here about Kabbalah and other correspondence systems, as well.

Mixing Essential Oils for Magic, by Sandra Kynes. Fills a very difficult gap in published knowledge regarding the use of essential oils by discussing, in great detail, how scents interact with each other and how to create a formula that’s not only palatable, but evocative.

Dunwich’s Guide to Gemstone Sorcery, by Gerina Dunwich. Given the New Age fascination with all things shiny, it was quite a chore to sort through the myriad crystal books to find something with good information. While far from perfect and not exactly devoid of fluff, this book does give a level of detail about the lore surrounding gemstones not seen in many other texts.

Real Alchemy, by Robert Allen Bartlett. Excellent book, lots of history and detail. There’s a strong focus on tradition within the text, yet the author is quite accommodating of his audience and describes alternate methods that work better in a modern context.

Spagyrics, by Manfred M. Junius. With a highly-developed academic tone and attention to detail, this book is a meaty look at traditional alchemy. I recommend this more for intermediate practitioners due to the sheer density of information.

Spellbooks

The Goodly Spellbook, by Dixie Deerman and Steve Rasmussen. The title sounds horribly fluffy, but this is a hidden gem. It explains obscure concepts like alternative alphabets and potential uses of musical notes, as well as plant lore and other bits and pieces. Definitely worth checking out. It’s way more than just “a book of spells.”

Encyclopedia of 5,000 Spells, by Judika Illes. The title sounds trite to some, but it delivers. This book has spells from almost every culture and spiritual philosophy, as well as a very detailed formulary. I read it when I’m bored sometimes, too, just because I always learn some tidbit from it.

Book of Spells, by Nicola Pulford. In most editions, this book is absolutely gorgeous and describes spellcasting traditions from a variety of perspectives and traditions. Recommended for those who already understand the basics, as this book jumps straight into spellcasting and gives only a small amount of information about how things work.

Ceremonial Magick

Modern Magick, by Donald Michael Kraig. I received this as a gift several years ago. It is essentially a workbook meant to be completed slowly, step by step, and while the format will not appeal to everyone, it’s a good easy-to-read introduction to ceremonial magick.

Familiar Spirits, by Donald Tyson. Though geared towards ceremonialists, any practitioner can likely learn a thing or two from Tyson’s interesting stroll through the whys and wherefores of spirit work and thoughtform creation. This is by far the best book I’ve seen on the topic of familiar spirits.

Secrets of High Magick, by Francis Melville. The most recent edition of this (the one I own) is lavishly-illustrated and full of rudimentary, yet useful information. He stresses the basics of ceremonial practice, and his writing style is very accessible. Highly recommended for absolute beginners.

My Life With The Spirits, by Lon Milo DuQuette. This is a memoir of a ceremonial magician, but it gives a good look at the magickal mindset in a highly developed form from someone who’s experienced quite a lot. I have major issues with DuQuette’s approach to Qabalah, but his memoirs are worth a read.

Chaos Magick

Liber Null and Psychonaut, by Peter Carroll. Classic book of chaos magick. I consider it required reading for almost anyone interested in the occult. Even if you have no love for chaos magick, do give it a read, just to understand how influential Carroll is, and why.

Hands-On Chaos Magic, by Andrieh Vitimus. Knowing some of the people involved in the creation of this book, I’m a bit biased towards it. That said, even if I didn’t know them, I would still recommend it. It’s especially interesting to read alongside Liber Null and Psychonautin order to see how the chaos “current” has developed over the years.

Pop Culture Magic 2.0 by Taylor Ellwood. There aren’t a lot of books on using pop culture symbolism in magick, but this one is nearly perfect. The author writes in a highly erudite, literate fashion, while still being accessible to newbies. Many useful resources cited, as well, so prepare to branch off a bit while reading it.

History-Related

Triumph of the Moon, by Ronald Hutton. An inside no-holds-barred look at the history of Wicca and Modern paganism. Highly recommended. This is sort of the book that fluffbunnies don’t want you to read.

Book of Lies: The Disinformation Guide to Magick and the Occult, by Richard Metzger. Lots of facts and history of magick in the context of Postmodernity. This is different from the Crowley text of the same name, which I wouldn’t recommend unless you want to focus on his tradition.

The Place of Enchantment, by Alex Owen. This is a purely historical text that documents the occult revival within the context of Modernity. I remember it being very good, but please realize I haven’t really picked it up much since graduating, and it might just have served my mindset at the time.

Tarot

The Book of Thoth, by Aleister Crowley. Make sure you actually own (or have access to pictures of) the Thoth deck before you dive into this. By far one of the best books on Tarot ever published. The prose is often dense and purple, but in this one book, Crowley teaches so much about Tarot and it’s connection to the Western Mystery Tradition. I can’t really say much more - it must be experienced.

The Pictorial Key to the Tarot, by Arthur Edward Waite. I recommend this book because it is a classic and was introductory for many older readers. It will teach you to read and gives insight into the methodology behind the Waite-Smith deck specifically, particularly his use of what are essentially parables and why he does this. Do not expect too much esoteric information, but read it anyways.

Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom, by Rachel Pollack. This is the epitome of a good modern Tarot book and is really one of the first ones I’d recommend for someone looking for an accessible book on Tarot in a modern context. Very dense in information and history, yet altogether worth it. You’ll want highlighters nearby for this one!

Tarot for a New Generation, by Janina Renée. This is essentially a book for children and teenagers, but I do recommend it for them, specifically, because it is well-written, easy to understand, and helpful to absolute beginners.

Secrets of the Waite-Smith Tarot, by Marcus Katz and Tali Goodwin. This book focuses just on the history, symbolism, and creative process of the Waite-Smith deck. It gives you an inside line on just what Pixie Smith was thinking when painting specific scenes, and is a great look at her life’s work, as well.

The Tarot: History, Symbolism, and Divination, by Robert M. Place. This book will not teach you to read Tarot, but does give an actual, accurate portrait of the history of the phenomena, which is incredibly important and useful. Know your history.

Understanding Aleister Crowley’s Thoth Tarot, by Lon Milo DuQuette. I hesitate to recommend DuQuette due to issues I have with his approach to Qabalah, but many people ask me for a beginner book for the Thoth Tarot specifically, and this is the closest I’ve come to finding one. I recommend reading this alongside, and not instead of, Crowley’s Book of Thoth.

The Back in Time Tarot, by Janet Boyer. This is more for the intermediate reader, and the entire book details a single, extremely useful technique for familiarizing yourself with the cards, namely by framing past events in terms of how they might appear in a spread.

Lenormand

The Essential Lenormand, by Rana George. This was not the first Lenormand book I picked up, but it was the most influential and intense. Ms. George writes in a personable, touching fashion and brings the concepts of the system home by relating them to life experiences in a way rarely seen. She is one of those authors I literally go all “fangirl” over.

Learning Lenormand, by Marcus Katz and Tali Goodwin. This is one of the better beginner books on Lenormand. I’m not going to lie - it isn’t as good as Rana George’s, but it definitely is worth reading if you’re completely new to the system. It’s very accessible, where some of the books I’ll be listing later in this can seem intimidating, or so I’ve been told.

Lenormand: Thirty-Six Cards, by Andy Boroveshengra. This book is intense, but in a different way than Ms. George’s. Expect to be inundated with information and techniques. Another one of those where you really need to take notes or highlight while reading, and read it multiple times.

Secrets of the Lenormand Oracle, by Sylvie Steinbach. This book is organized in a novel and useful fashion by topic, and gives specific techniques for readings on love, money, spirituality, and other topics. Highly recommended, and I tend to use it as a reference book nowadays, looking things up as needed.

The Complete Lenormand Oracle Handbook, by Caitlyn Matthews. Not for the beginner, nor the faint at heart, this one details a lot of what, to me, seem to be more advanced approaches and techniques. I use this book a lot, and I think anyone else will enjoy it, too. Good information on the connection between Lenormand and traditional playing cards, too.

Cartomancy with Lenormand and the Tarot, by Patrick Dunn. This is more of a special topic book, and best read after you’ve got some familiarity with both Tarot and Lenormand. It’s all about using them in tandem and the synergy between them.

Astrology

The Luminaries, by Liz Greene. I could really recommend anything by this author, but she’s written so much, and this book is a particularly important one. It focuses entirely on the Sun and Moon in astrology, and gives a good look at why the luminaries need to have a special place in your understanding.

The Weiser Concise Guide to Practical Astrology, by Priscilla Costello. This is focused, as you might expect, on actual interpretation of charts and less on theory, but it gives a good background on that, too. Was quite helpful in my attempts to interpret @xepsurah‘s unusual natal chart.

The Complete Book of Astrology, by Kris Brandt Riske. Very beginner, and very light on intellect, heavy on intuition. A great introduction, but I would not suggest it as the only book you read if you’re really interested in the subject.

Tasseography

Tea Leaf Reading for Beginners, by Caroline Dow. There are only a few books within Llewellyn’s immensely popular “For Beginners” series that I would recommend, and this is one of them. The symbol glossary (which makes up the bulk of the book) is the most useful part.

Tea Cup Reading, by Sasha Fenton. This book goes into some detail (quite a bit, actually) about the history of tea and coffee, and, better yet, how to prepare them in the traditional fashion! A lot of traditional lore is described, as well.

Scrying, etc.

Scrying for Beginners, by Donald Tyson. This is really a surprise find, as I don’t usually expect much from this series, by Tyson knows his history and goes far beyond simple exercises for scrying. He is a bit biased towards mirror and crystal-gazing techniques, but does discuss other methods.

Psychic Development for Beginners, by William Hewitt. Readable, and offers some very practical developmental exercises for those wishing to hone extrasensory abilities. Be prepared to sort through a lot of woo, though.

100 Scurvy Pirate Prompts

Me amigos, ‘tis be ye cap'n @promptguy. Thank ye fer all th’ submissions. I translated some to be more scurvy pirate. 'tis might be th’ best list so far.

  1. “Which lovely booty ye be eyein’? th’ curvy wench’s or th’ shit-barnacles ye can’t spy wit’ ye eye in yon chest?”
  2. “oh me god! th’ boat be leakin’!” “No, that’s just bilge rum”
  3. Scribe 'bout a scurvy pirate that be scared 'o th’ ocean
  4. Ye discover that Prompt Guy be actually th’ Flyin’ Dutchman
  5. A pirate ship encounters sirens who use their song to lure them. th’ band 'o pirates give a go’ to escape but 'tis later revealed that th’ sirens don’t want sink them but join them
  6. 'tis ye first day on ship, 'n ye’re in learnin’. All th’ other members on board be experienced 'n professionals at their ship except 1. That one be ye “trainin’ laddie”… a child Jack Sparrow.
  7. “walk thee fuckin plank ye scallywag”
  8. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o a crew 'o Githyanki band 'o pirates, 'n ye be huntin’ ye quarry in th’ astral plane. th’ problem be, ye quarry consists 'o a ship full 'o illithids, or mind-flayers, who had previously enslaved ye kind wit’ their mental powers
  9. Ye got captured by band 'o pirates. be tellin’ a story on how ye end up becomin’ cap'n fer that scurvy pirate ship. Bonus points if ye scribe a way ye do it that dont murder anyone nor end up wit’ physical harm.
  10. Bin got a pair words fer ye scurvy dogs: “Shark Bait.”
  11. Poseidon, th’ God 'o th’ Sea, has chosen ye as his vessel. He whispers in ye mind, “by sea be th’ only way to travel.” ye embark on a journey, killin’ anybody who dares take an airplane or car.
  12. Ye’ve always thought that havin’ a peg leg’d be cool, but arh, the maintenaince yeh have to do to keep up yer cool appearance!
  13. “ye’re seriously makin’ me swim th’ plank again?!”
  14. A pirate cap'n goes on a mission to reclaim th’ pirate ship that was stolen from him 'n free his crew members from imprisonment
  15. Ye have traveled long 'n far in search 'o an infamous treasure that ye 'n ye crew have be searchin’ fer fer 16 years. Upon discoverin’ it, ye open th’ chest only to find a map leadin’ to another treasure. th’ value 'o friendship.
  16. They shout that treasures best be hidden on land. Yer cap'n be sayin’ they’re all lyin’. Yer cap'n be sayin’ th’ best place to be hidin’ treasure be in th’ heart 'o a storm.
  17. Ye ship be sunk, ye maties abandoned ye, but ye still have th’ gold… 'n spiced rum.
  18. Ye be kidnapped from ye home in th’ dead 'o nightfall 'n brought onto a ship wit’ a crew 'o 100 band 'o pirates. As ye look on in fear, they all bow below before ye. One 'o them introduces themselves as ye First Matey. ye be now their cap'n.
  19. Ye muster onboard a scurvy pirate ship, hopin’ to get some doubloons 'n th’ comradery ye sorely missed in th’ navy. But turns out th’ ship ye ended up on has a secret ye would never have guessed…
  20. A forbidden lust story between a sea cap'n 'n a siren he meets at sea.
  21. Ye’ve always wanted to be a scurvy pirate. ye even got ye chance when a fleet 'o them attacked ye town. th’ problem? ye’re a 'land-lubber’ 'n 'tis isn’t a nice world. ye’ll have to prove ye can handle bein’ a scurvy pirate just to make it out 'o th’ brig
  22. Ye’ve just taken control 'o a merchant ship only to find that th’ entire crew be more scared 'o th’ 4 year barnacle-covered girly offsprin’ 'o th’ wealthy tradesman ye’ve locked away. When she smiles, ye spy wit’ ye eye storms in her eyes - 'n then she laughs…
  23. Ye find a cursed treasure. When a piece 'o gold be spent it disappears. How do ye spend ye loot.
  24. “No women allowed on board!” says th’ cap'n. He finds out, one by one, that every member 'o his crew be a woman wit’ a fake beard.
  25. That scurvy scalawag Blackhearted Benton just stole yer ship wit’ all yer lovely booty! GET IT BACK!
  26. “Stop playin’ yer dratted cello, matey, 'n help me sword fight off Blackbeard!”
  27. Ye be th’ first astronaut to be sent to explore th’ galaxy. Suddenly, ye re stopped by space band 'o pirates, 'n be forced to choose between roamin’ aimlessly forever or joinin’ their crew.
  28. Ye got into th’ piratin’ business fer one reason - so ye can afford a ship in Malibu.
  29. “Remind me; if women be bad luck, why do we have a female cap'n?”
  30. Mermaid band 'o pirates. They find new islands 'n take down their enemies wit’ th’ help 'o sea creatures. Their ship be called “Poseidon”
  31. Band 'o pirates that set out to be villains accidentally return as jolly guys by screwin’ plans up
  32. Ye be a feared scurvy pirate who can control all th’ monsters roamin’ th’ seven seas, however ye worst enemy can control th’ oceans themselves.
  33. tell an entire tale in pirate talk, me hearty…
  34. Ye character just got accepted into MIT 'n be sailin’ towards th’ “scurvy pirate Certificate” (pistols, riflery, rowin’, fencin’.) wee do they be knowin’ that these courses be taught by actual band 'o pirates.
  35. An underground illegal racin’ rig has be started that involves scurvy pirate ships battlin’ though a rum track in a Need fer Speed style wit’ steampower-ups included
  36. Ye awaken on a scurvy pirate ship, last thin’ ye remember before 'tis was shoutin’ to a guy in th’ tavern at port. th’ cap'n had bought ye 'n ye be now sailin’ on th’ ship, what happens while ye be at sea?
  37. “HAND ME THAT MAP OR SO HELP ME I’LL CUT IT OFF YA HANDS!”
  38. You turn on the Pirate Speak in Minecraft under language options as a joke, but then ye start findin’ that yer land lubber mates in reality arrrre beginnin’ ta talk like ol’ sea dogs, and even tha signs ‘round yer town turn inta Pirate Speak. Soon a squaky bird takes to perchin’ on yer shoulder. Tha townsfolk begin ta ask fer yer okay on things o’ trivial matter. Yer first mate, who lost 'is leg years ago ta scurvy, suddenly had a peg 'stead of a prosthetic. Congrats, matey– yer tha cap'n of tha town
  39. “Arrrr! the hour to loot EA 'o their precious Sims lovely booty!!”
  40. 'tis not uncommon fer a scurvy pirate to loose a hand or a foot on his travels. ye 'n ye crew dig up a chest full 'o hands 'n feet.
  41. Ye swore on a loved one’s grave that ye would someday sail to th’ legendary Grand Arcada, an ocean which none have ever found. this day, ye awoke to find ye ship stolen from ye - 'n th’ strange people seem to be changin’ ye course…
  42. A pirate loses his scurvy pirate accent 'n has to go find a different ship because they don’t fit in anymore.
  43. Ye find an ancient treasure map, 'n indeed, under th’ “X” thar’s buried treasure. But what’s under th’ “Y” 'n “Z”?
  44. Ye cap'n has caught a deadly disease, 'n be on th’ verge 'o Davy Jones’ treasure chest. ye 'n ye crew decide to pull one last raid wit’ them. th’ big one.
  45. Th’ band 'o pirates 'n th’ vampires have come to together to stop th’ ultimate evil. How do ye defend yourself?
  46. Cap'n Gus has a secret, his magic beard grows more wild 'n tangled wit’ every wind it ensnares. Cuttin’ a hair causes a mild breeze, a lock 'o his beard unleashes a strong wind. Now, captured 'n condemned to execution, he asks if he could shave
  47. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o th’ most infamous scurvy pirate ship on th’ seven seven seas, ye 'n ye crew have be through pretty much everythin’ together. Currently ye be on th’ hunt fer mer-people, they fetch high prices on th’ black market fer their beauty. What ye crew dont be knowin’ however be that ye be a mer-person 'n ye 'n ye kind only have tails when ye peglegs get wet.ye’re in th’ middle 'o a bath in ye quarters when ye first matey bustles in to speak to ye 'bout th’ ship’s course.
  48. Ye be a notorious scurvy pirate. ye’ve always be able to outrun th’ navy, but 'tis the hour they’re gainin’ on ye. ye agree to make a deal wit’ one 'o th’ lesser captains. What do they shout to ye?
  49. Arr, ye main character be kidnapped by a scurvy pirate at sea! It turns out th’ sea isn’t what it seems to be when he throws ye overboard to die….
  50. Ye cap'n has be noticeably feelin’ down, how does one scurvy pirate cheer up their cap'n back to their jolly self?
  51. What do ye do wit’ a drunken sailer?
  52. Ye’re a pirate who’s totally new to th’ business 'o stealin’ treasure from authoritative figures 'n don’t really be knowin’ what ye’re doin’. Suddenly, a dragon shows up 'n offers to tutor ye in piracy. What next?
  53. “What be land? I have forgotten.”
  54. Ye’re an undercover employee 'o th’ british government onboard a pirate ship on 'tis way to an uncharted island. ye mission be to find out what th’ band 'o pirates be goin’ thar fer.
  55. A pirate wit’ a rubber duck hand instead 'o a rusted hook
  56. Lesbian pirate flirtin’ wit’ sirens
  57. Ye were sent by th’ British government to spy on a notorious cap'n. ye join his crew 'n climb up th’ ranks 'til ye become his first matey. A few days before ye be to betray him, he tells ye a secret that changes everythin’. What be it?
  58. Th’ cap'n has gone missin’ overnight. ye, a mere chef, be th’ only one who can manage to control th’ crew. ye need to find whar ye cap'n has gone to.
  59. She was they best cap'n to sail th’ sea’s. She was Black Beard.
  60. Band 'o pirates be pillagin’ ye village, lookin’ fer somethin’. What they’re lookin’ fer be a wee unorthodox
  61. Th’ year be th’ far future, 'n space travel has be achieved. th’ human race has be denied entry into th’ galactic federations set up hundreds 'o years before their time. So, instead, we become space band 'o pirates. All 'o us.
  62. All ye pirates be sufferin from th’ evil scurvy, no matter how much citrus or undercooked meat they brin’ on th’ poop deck. they shout yer crews favoured wi th’ devil, but wee do they be knowin’ ye’ve just found th’ third cure to th’ scurvy
  63. “fer th’ last the time, don’t be puttin’ me tattered eyepatch in th’ dryer!”
  64. Ye look almost exactly like th’ female version 'o ye twin brother. Unfortunately, ye twin brother just so happens to be th’ notorious cap'n 'o a pirate crew. One day, he be killed, 'n th’ crew asks ye to pretend to be him so as to continue
  65. Th’ mermaid they pulled from th’ ocean turns out to be a jolly fighter. Maybe too jolly. Sh just killed th’ cap'n.
  66. Ye got scurvy. How ya gonna hide it from th’ cap'n?
  67. Ye pirate ship be stuck in 5 O'clock traffic. Somehow.
  68. Ye’re a stowaway on th’ dreaded cap'n LongBeard’s ship, tryin’ to find out whar he hides his treasure. Only problem be, ye’ve gotten caught sneakin’ around below deck.
  69. Ye’re th’ only jolly scurvy pirate in ye crew. ye’ve be tryin’ to keep it a secret, but then ye ship happens to sail past a group 'o sirens…
  70. Ye command one 'o th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ships in th’ seven seas. Just th’ mention 'o ye crew sends fear into th’ hearts 'o men 'n women. th’ only thin’ be, ye’ve never stepped foot on a boat.
  71. Ye’ve be travelin’ th’ seven seas fer a while now. Nothin’ can stand in ye way; ye 'n ye crew be unstoppable. 'til one thin’ crossed ye paths. What be that one thin’ 'n how do ye overcome it?
  72. Ye be th’ toughest scurvy pirate around. ye won many fights, pillaged many towns, 'n plundered dozens 'o ships. nothin’ could stand in ye way to riches, not even- oh god be that a baby on ye ship? who brought a baby?
  73. Ye be sailin’ th’ seven seven seas when yer lovely booty grows peglegs 'n starts swimmin’ off. How do ya catch a swimmin’ treasure hoard?
  74. Ye be a sea cap'n. Suddenly, ye ship lifts into th’ air. ye’re bein’ raided by sky band 'o pirates!
  75. Due to men believin’ eatin’ fruit was too feminine, th’ seven seas be now ruled by female band 'o pirates who beat their weakened males counterparts. Now, ye’re at a parrrty drinkin’ ornge spiced juice wit’ th’ victors.
  76. All ye pirates knows only women be sailors. Can ye think 'o anythin’ more unlucky than to have a scurvy dog onboard a ship? Still, rumour has it that th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ship 'o them all has a only-male crew.
  77. Ye meet Sodomy McScurvyLegs 'n buy a fitness regime. It opens up a whole new seven seas fer ye, an endless sea 'o knowledge… 'bout lovely booty.
  78. Turns out 'tis eyepatch be cursed to ne'er come off! Too bad ye put it on t’ wrong eye!
  79. Yrr secret island has been made into a parking lot and is overrun by scurvy lawyers while you were pirating. How do you fight lawyers? Your treasure is under that asphalt.
  80. Th’ cap'n 'o a magical sailin’ pirate ship takes several orphans under her proverbial win’s as new crew members
  81. “I lost m'hand to a shark, but I lost me eye to…”
  82. A rollickin’ scurvy pirate adventure from th’ point 'o view 'o th’ ship’s sea monster: th’ cat
  83. A classic pirate adventure wit’ a cursed object. Part 'o th’ curse be that th’ scurvy pirate cap'n 'n crew can never leave th’ ship 'n must come up wit’ creative ways to plunder, pillage, 'n eventually break th’ curse.
  84. Cuddle band 'o pirates- th’ fluffiest, snuggliest scurvy pirate crew ye can imagine, inexplicably survivin’ through skill 'n pluck in a grimdark hyper-edgy universe, rebellin’ against th’ grim 'n gritty status quo wit’ unflinchin’ optimism 'n hugs.
  85. “How th’ muck did ye get onto me ship 'n why be ye naked”
  86. “So ye meanin’ to be tellin’ me th’ map, which ye bought off a street vendor at Ivery Island, be an authentic map that leads to a literal buried treasure. scurvy dog, speak 'bout cliche.”
  87. Ye be highly disappointed when ye discover that th’ famous deadly 'Kraken’ be actually just a nutcracker.
  88. Two pirates travel th’ seven seas lookin’ fer lovely booty, but it turns out all they really want be each others lovely booty
  89. Ye finally come home from a year at sea 'n have to explain to ye main wench how ye got syphillis
  90. A scurvy pirate find th’ greatest treasure to be had: an island covered in lovely booty.
  91. Ye’re a pirate explorin’ uncharted waters when suddenly a giant hand made out 'o rum rises out 'o th’ ocean holdin’ a small baby wrapped in seaweed. th’ hand places th’ younglin’ on th’ deck 'o ye ship 'n disappears back into th’ depths. ye now have a child 'n a lot 'o questions.
  92. captains, greedy 'n tough 'n mean. But th’ strange thin’ 'bout him be that he wears a metal mask, 'n no one in th’ crew has ever seen him without it. One nightfall, ye resolve to spy wit’ ye eye th’ cap'n’s real face, so ye sneak into his cabin 'n sneak a peek 'o him sans mask. 'n what ye spy wit’ ye eye makes it clear to ye why ye cap'n would hide his face.
  93. Perhaps givin’ band 'o pirates Google Maps wasn’t th’..best idea
  94. Ye somehow became a pirate cap'n. One problem - ye be knowin’ nothin’ 'bout navigation…or ships…or fightin’ in general. But ye look well in a pirate coat 'n a hat, so thar be that.
  95. Ye’ve be captured by pirates, 'n thrown in th’ brig. th’ cap'n’s trusty parrot flies in, 'n says he can help ye escape.
  96. “Matey, yer lovely booty be th’ only one I be diggin’ fer t'night.”
  97. Ye’ve found pirate treasure by sheer dumb luck, but now th’ ghost 'o th’ lady pirate it belonged to be hauntin’ ye. 'n if that wasn’t that be all you can take, she’s got a crush on ye.
  98. Yer on a boat when suddenely yer First Mate throws 'imself over with no apparent reason. You dive in after him and find a grotto. What’s beyond it?
  99. Ye be that one guy on th’ ship that can swim. Somethin’ has jammed th’ rudder, stoppin’ th’ ship from makin’ it to port.
  100. Pretend ye’re a pirate 'n ye’ve just buried ye treasure. Draw a map 'n scribe below detailed instructions on how to find it again.

What prompt do ye like th’ most? Reblog if ye be a true scurvy pirate.

so nicki finally responded

and as much as her barbz are literally trying to grab at excuses to give(and dont get me wrong i loooooove Onika) she still took an L and here’s why

1. remy went into the battle alone, beat nicki up and then left only for nicki  come back later with her big brothers to beat her up.

2.for those of y’all saying that she won cause her songs are gonna be played on the radio and she’ll be earning from them. yes she won the forbes list position(if thats what she was trying to do) but still lost the battle. she can be the richest female rapper, but she’s cant say she’s the QUEEN of rap no more

3. the song meant for meek was the one i actually liked.but the rest was trash. because remy had an advantage in her track, she told us stuff about nicki that we didnt know.

4.as a fan of nicki, i call the track trash because I KNOW SHE CAN DO BETTER!! she has solo songs and verses that come harder than any of these songs(lookin ass nigga, monster verse, itty bitty piggy, e.t.c) heck even roman’s revenge can be considered a better diss track…….and its not even a diss track 

Spider-man: Homecoming basically stole from Miles Morales

I’ve been seeing some willfully obtuse shit regarding this where Marvel fans essentially ignore that Peter stole traits from Miles’ origin and story. So here is the list of the ways it was done.

1. Ganke Lee/Ned Leeds

Of course, I had to start with the most obvious.

Not only that he looks like Ganke, but he fucking acts like Ganke. Has Ned Leeds been Asian before? Yes, in Spectacular Spider-man Tv Show, but it would be hilarious that Disney and Sony actually stole from Greg Weisman after they both collectively screwed him twice. The thing about this character is that he acts more like Miles’ Ganke than he does Peter’s Ned Leeds.

Peter’s Ned Leeds was never a close friend of Peter’s, let alone went to the same school as Peter. He was an acquaintance at best or a fellow work mate at the most. 

Ganke, however….

..Is Miles’ best friend. He was introduced in Miles’ second issue ever. He has been a constant character ever since. That is Miles’ number 1.

If you noticed that Ganke was playing with Legos, guess what hobby Ned Leeds’ favorite hobby is?

That is a Lego Deathstar. And before you say, well in the panels’ he’s just playing with it. He doesn’t seem that interested in Legos.

And why Legos are integral to Miles and Ganke? Miles is not as Science smart as Ganke or Peter Parker so he cannot remake the Web fluid. Ganke is that smart and Legos are suggested by Chemists as great toys children to play with because it helps them visualize molecular models. Ganke is as important to Miles’ Spider-man as he is to Miles.

For all intents and purposes, Ned Leeds probably is just his best friend on account of Peter not telling Ned Leeds that he is Spider-man. Speaking of which, the whole Peter having a confidant in on his identity situation…

He never had one. Peter never told anyone that he is Spider-man. He never once shared that info with Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane(she always knew, but never revealed that she knew), Harry Osbourne, or anyone. In Ultimate Spider-man, Peter did confide in Mary Jane, but that was a case of her being his only friend.

Miles only revealed his identity to Ganke and eventually his father.  Well in the case of Ganke, Miles never had to reveal anything because Ganke was there to help him become Spider-man. It just the scene how Ned leeds found out.

Look familiar?

The same parallel as Peter’s.

Also, Ganke is girl obsessed like Homecomings’ Ned Leeds is. And yes, you are a little too infatuated with the opposite sex if you know by heart what a woman has worn previously and what she hasn’t.

The first thing Ganke does when Jessica Drew presents Miles with his new costume is to declare that he will start talking to girls.

After a deep conversation about what to do with Miles’ thieving ass Uncle, Ganke is pressed to go with Miles’ not to provide comfort, but to stare at his mom(who is really attractive).

As soon as he meets Mary Jane Watson and Gwen Stacy, Ganke immediately switches gears and starts hitting on them.

Ganke making a gift out of Legos for Gwen Stacy.

And it working…

Ganke trying to use Miles to hook him up with Dagger, and refusing to believe anyone is too hot for him.

Ganke is girl obsessed. It’s part of his charm.

So Peter took Miles’ best friend. Great.

2. Miles motivation of proving he is a superhero

I remember when I called this out and some moron said Peter had to prove himself to the Fantastic Four in his debut. No.

He wasn’t trying to prove himself with the Fantastic Four. He wanted to join the Fantastic Four so he can earn money.

The FF did not have an opinion on him, except Ben who did not like Spider-man for being a show off like Johnny. 

Just for your closure…

Miles’ however, had to go through a proving ground to not just be Spider-man, but also be qualified as a hero.

Instead of Tony Stark being the one supervisor of Miles, it is Captain America. It’s a long story as to why Cap feels the need to restrict Miles, but he is the one Miles has to prove his worth to.

After fighting with Captain America, Miles pops the question.

And to tie it into the Civil War, Miles’ asks to be the Ultimate equivalent of the Avengers, the Ultimates.

This is not a coincidence. You may say that they needed Peter to join MCU somehow, but how they are going about it is eerily similar to how they went about it with Miles. Peter never once had to gain recognition from his fellow superheroes. He never once had to ask to join the Avengers because they respected him as a hero. Miles’ did.

This is not the first time Peter took this from Miles either. The Ultimate Spider-man cartoon has Peter,again, taking Miles familiarity with Nick Fury and forming a super team just like Miles Morales. It’s annoying.

3. Younger Aunt May/Parental figure and having stability

Before I start this, yes, Ultimate Spider-man had a younger Aunt May and Uncle Ben. I know this. You seen her above when she is talking to Miles and you see her when Gwen kissed Ganke. But she did not look like this.

Now Marissa Tomei is a young looking 52 year old woman. Girl fucking looks good. Slay.

But Ultimate Aunt May did not look like she was pulling dates off tinder. Ultimate Aunt May also did not stay in an upscale Queen suite. Peter was not raised in an economically stable environment. There was always bills to be paid and Aunt May did not work.

Miles however lives in Brooklyn. His mom is a nurse and his father a cop. It is a stable household.

As you can see, Rio is hot!

Anyways, what contributed to Peter’s anxiety and neuroticism was that he never had a stable household. They were always just above the red. With Ben gone, Aunt May had to take care of the household in spite of Peter’s new adventures.  Peter is lower middle class. Miles’ is middle class when it comes to living in Brooklyn.

4. The charter school

This especially pissed me off. 

Miles goes to an advanced charter school for gifted children. How he did so?

You ever see the documentary, “Waiting for Superman?”

Okay, so there is a literal lottery for gifted urban youth(usually youth of color) for them to attend advanced schools. If they do not get the right lottery, then they are sent back to attend the shitty Inner City schools where they most likely won’t excel in life. They will most likely excel if they go to Charter School. It sucks, but that is a reality youth face.

Miles had to enter this lottery to attend his charter school(with the number 42, Jackie Robinson’s number to mark the significance). Peter has never been placed in a situation where his race and environment did not cheat him out of a future or reduce his options. His intelligence has always gotten him out of academic situations and guaranteed his success. Miles had to enter a fucking lottery to ensure his future was stable. And that is highly fucked up that Peter just took that trait from Miles without the significance of it being appreciated and realized.

That is four things that Spider-man: Homecoming leeched from Miles Morales and his story. And people want to act dumb as if these characteristics have always been attributed to Peter. Bull fucking shit. They wanted a relative character that was not presented on screen or the audiences did not already know. They exhausted Peter’s story, characters, and even abilities through 5 movies, several cartoon, and several video games and a fucking live action play. 

What pisses me off is that people have called Miles the inferior Spider-man or not the real Spider-man, yet Peter, this motherfucker, is literally taking aspects from Miles and no one is calling it out. You love everything about Miles when it is on a white character, huh?

It is also an aspect of Marvel canabalizing off of legacy characters. DC gave Wally a chance to be the Flash over Barry Allen. DC gave several Robins a chance and did not create an amalgamation of Robin. DC gave Jon Stewart a chance ahead of Kyle Rainer and Hal Jordan. Fuck, Marvel you gave Scott Lang a chance over Hank Pym in spite of making Hank Pym’s main villain the villain of Avengers 2(And Hank Pym fans did not deserve that). 

We heard every excuse in the book as to why Miles could not be the first to enter MCU when Peter’s story has been told 5 fucking times on screen.  Miles Morales was trending when it was announced that Marvel was making a Spider-man film. People wanted his story to be told. And we heard every excuse in the book as to why Miles could not be selected. There was fucking press release that basically said Peter Parker had to be white yet you don’t mind diversifying the rest of the cast. We heard that his story was too new, but that did not stop you from making Robbie Reyes the new Ghost Rider. That Miles is a legacy. Yet you made Scott Lang, the legacy to Hank Pym, the first Ant Man on screen while acknowledging that Scott Lang is the second Ant Man. You just did not want him on screen because Miles is not white. End of story. You liked his story so much that you attributed to Peter. You took his cast. You took his financial situation. You took his precarious school situation. You took one of his arc. And you gave them to Peter. By doing that, you all but ensured that Miles would be stuck in his comic book and not being getting a damn thing.

The only reason I am interested in this film is Zendaya because black women, even bi-racial women, are hardly romantic leads in super hero in general. They are rarely presented as such and that sucks. I really don’t are about this movie outside of that. It looks good, but whatever.

Gradence/Gravebone/Gredence/Graves x Credence Fic Rec list

Originally posted by illilis

WARNING: most if not all of these stories have some to a lot of smut, possibly dub-con and/or non-con and/or questionable situations and consent. please be aware, and proceed with caution. also lots of spoilers. these are rec’s and reviews beyond the flailing sorts of comments i leave on the actual fics so yes that too.


First off I must mention the fact that when I left the theater after seeing the movie for the first time, the one thing I knew I wanted was some kind of consensual BDSM stuffs, and THIS series is bringing that to the extreme. I’ve dabbled and I’m still learning, the shit I include in my writing is pretty damn tame but this series is not, and I LOVE it. it’s a Modern AU where Credence and Graves are eventually living the scene 24/7 and it’s intense but so so so good.

Three parts currently:

Notes on a Lifestyle

Anima Mea

Lux(uria)

author is @clutchhedonist on tumblr too!

Next we have Show Me

The fic you knew was going to ensue after the healing scene and its frankly dreamy and perfect and I love it so much but its Credence and Grindelwald!Graves, so if that’s problematic, you know to avoid.


and next we have more sin aka smut that’s just short of a plot but you know what? that’s ok. Some of us just needed smut after all that goddamned sexual tension, so here, enjoy some

Freedom (Bound and Restricted) –great name btw.

also technically part of a series, and it is Credence and Grindelwald!Graves


and at long last we have an AU where Credence ends up finding the Real!Graves and he’s a bit of an asshole and you know what? it works damn well.

Its also a glorious 7k words and there is smut too so…. Yeah.

Such as is common to Man


a story I have been long awaiting and am breaking my ‘I never read WIP’s’ USUALLY rule, the Sugar Daddy AU and its of course modern and just, well, what it says.

What Shines Through

also go follow this creature on tumblr because just…do it.

@jonstarks

next up is the newest of the A/B/O stories, only 2 of which I have ever read, bc frankly its not usually my cup o’tea, but HOT DAMN for this ship I’ll take anything with smut that’s not too non-con or dub-con so yeah.

this is a lil confusing bc it is Real!Graves and Credence, but Grindelwald is sort of behind the scenes pulling the strings.

The Mating Habits of American Wizards


HERE is the first A/B/O story I read and goddamn it it’s a WIP but its so damn filthy and good im along for the sinful ass ride.

Pin me and mount me like a butterfly –YET ANOTHER PERFECT TITLE Hella

literally i was getting blushy reading this, and I aint no innocent little virgin, this story is just so….uh, well, when I saw the update posted lets just say I didn’t walk I ran to it.

also follow here @grindlywindlywald

now for something a bit darker, this story is a story with daddy!kink but its Grindy!graves and Credence and slightly dub-con so be ware.

I was just so thirsty for daddy!kink after usually seeing the only stories tagged that way are in RUSSIAN WHICH I CANNOT SPEAK OF COURSE so then I saw this and holy shit.

Mine


THIS story I just read today, after having seen the prompt sort of floating around the tag, and it is just great, short but good. I always want more of course because like how could I not?

So Graves is summoned to Credence before he’s found the Obscurus, mostly by accident. And yeah its fun.

Caught so neatly, as a bird in a net

@emowithalightsaber

this next story is one of my legit favorites I think ive read it about ten times and its just ugh, for those who wanted a non!innocent/virginal Credence and Graves first time, and HELLA he is a bit of a hoe but he’s fucking sweet and adorable so its FIIINE.

Til Tomorrow Comes

this needs a sequel like soon pls but if not its ok ill survive

(I wont)

THIS story I found myself reading at my car place awaiting the checkup, and let me tell you, reading smut for these two in public is still a challenge to keep a poker face, esp this little bit of fluff which sounds strange considering the plot-ish, its Prostitute!Credence and its great.

Fill My Head With Dreams


here’s a bit more filthy sin before we get to my ALL TIME FAVE FIC, and it gets DARK ish at the end so watchout. Grindle!graves x Credence.

Showersex. Because duhhh.

I want Colin Farrell naked in a shower with Ezra on his knees so this is a close second.

Wipe you clean with dirty hands


#timetosininearnest

THE LORDS WORK. Let me tell you a bit about this story. I have lived a life full of oppressive religion and plenty of gaslighting bullshit, and this story contains lots of that, but with plenty of angstyfluffysmut and a happy ending (SPOILER) to make it worth it, to me, so theres that.

This is also my fave trope of young innocent Credence being (accidentally) corrupted by hot smexy older Graves and its just bomb as fuck.

DID I MENTION ITS 15K?

Cause yeah.

Time for your come to jesus moment. More like come to graves and come for graves moments amiright?

The Lord’s Work


this concludes my horribly organized and off the cuff list, and it is not as complete as it should be, I’ll prolly end up updating it sometime soon.

Enjoy the sinbin my lovelies!

anonymous asked:

tthis is going to be very specific: do you hhave any wlw comics about mermaids. please i am dying here. thank you, im lov.

Yes, there are actually a few short ones!

Sink!: A silent love story about a surfer and a mermaid.

On Her Guard: A short story about a Mermaid Princess and her Bodyguard.

Sirenita: A short story about a small girl and the smaller mermaid she loves.

how to maintain a routine whole year long

hii guys I’m back with another masterpost and yes, it is a collab with Zina aka @i-actually-study-a-lot. so lets get into the tips- 

1) Buy an agenda , a bullet journal or a list pad and jot the task you have to do to get a visual view of what you have to do.

  1. 2)Eat better - eat vegan food , add eggs , fruits and anything healthy . quick tips- buy (vegan)food in bulk ,make a quick salad by cutting some tomatoes,onion, salad leaves add salt , pepper powder and cherry tomatoes ,make the breakfast a night before.

3)wake up early and exercise - wake up early,plan the day,meditate and exercise. tips on doing exercise - 

make a mindset that you have to exercise daily and keep a track of when you are doing it + do a little exercise and meditation daily or once a week .

4)Study at home right after you come from school - yes, read for 15 min after you come back from school and do your regular things after this session ,this will bring you to a more productive mood.

5)Switch subjects-if you are tired of studying one subject switch the subjects for a change.

6)Skim through your material-skim through books or papers and plan how much time you have to give to what. 

7)Don’t stress - this is a big deal as if you are stressed you will do nothing so, take a deep breathe and try.

8)Find what works for you-find which is the best method for you and follow that method and move on . 

9)Switch routines - if one thing and routine is not working switch it and see what’s needed and what is not. 

10)make a mindset that you are doing it for yourself and you are capable of doing that.

  • bye guys, hope this helped!!

an informal list of people who would be better parents than the director 

-wash

-tucker (proven)

-carolina 

-grif (implied by canon with Kai)

-simmons

-Tex (who thinks gentle is a myth)

-sarge

-really all the Reds and Blues including Caboose who hates babies.

- actual human disaster polamo

-a rock

-a A.I in a tank

-actual mass murderer Locus

-the META’s empty suit of armor

People who would not be a better parent than the Director:

-Felix

-The Guy From the Merc’s trilogy

-Andy the bomb

anonymous asked:

I hate to be a bother, but would you know where I can find free ebooks or something on witchcraft? I have looked and scoured site after site and I've read posts where people say you can, but I sure haven't found a single one. I'm new and not open, so I'm so lost.

Why yes! I actually have several Free PDFs I can give you that I’ve collected over the while!

All of these are, to my knowledge, still up and running! Enjoy these, I’ll add more if/when I find them! 

constantly-disheveled.tumblr.com/ask

After chapter 32 when Shirotani admits to writing down the tenth item I have been convinced that it was to kiss Kurose. The fact that it wasn’t has actually made me really happy. The list has never been about Kurose and having the tenth item as kissing would have completely changed the nature of it. I mean yes we’ve seen his sexual relationship with Kurose develop and witnessed how sexually repressed Shirotani has become, but that’s not really what his recovery was ever about. It was about Shirotani tackling his Mysophobia.

Having someone touch his head is actually way more meaningful than any kiss or variation of sex Shirotani could have. After the incident in the locker which triggered his Mysophobia and I’m pretty sure also destroyed his relationship with his dad, Shirotani became terrified that if someone touched him they would know what he’d done and that escalated over time into fears of making other people sick from exposure to his thoughts and even death.

His dad used to pat him on the head and say he could tell what he was thinking. All of these things made Shirotani’s head became a danger zone to him. By allowing someone to touch his head, it’s like Shirotani is saying to himself that he’s not dirty anymore. He’s accepting that the thoughts he has now aren’t bad. On another level it also shows progress in his relationship with Kurose because he’s willing to share what’s in his head with him. Honestly, item 10 is perfect and I’m really glad to have been wrong.

ALRIGHTY FUCKERS

SINCE JANUARY FIRST 2015 TO TODAY, DECEMBER 28TH 2015 I HAVE DOCUMENTED EVERY DINGLE FUCKIGN MEME THAT WAS WIDESPREAD ON THIS GOD FORESAKEN WEBSITE, and yes I may not have been all scientific about it like some other people, but guess what this was a years worth of work and if this doesnt get some notes i ‘m going to scream

so, the memes of 2015, in a sort of chronological order but not for all of them:

  • “Sure Jan.”
  • year of neon genisis evangelion
  • Actually the entire brady bunch movie
  • reverse rick rolling
  • Miyazaki talking shit bout stuff (which tbh tho otaku culture is really messing up japan as a whole so this is sort of a serious thing idk man)
  • FUCKIGN LEFT SHARK
  • captain america civil war
  • i’m a jaded teenage girl.  i’ve been through shit that you wouldn’t even dream of.  you think life is hardd? try asking the cutest guy in the grade out in the middle of the cafeteria only to find out he had a fucking girlfriend.
  • Innapropiate audition songs
  • kAKASHI FROM ACCOUNTING CLASS (STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS AN ACTUAL MEME HOLY SHIT)
  • Dick cheney made money off the Iraq war
  • idk if this counts but the gold and white/black and blue dress seems to be getting big UPDATE: THIS MEME FUCKING GOT OFF THE INTERNET AND INTO MY FUCKING SCHOOL IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS.  THE ENTIRE SCHOOL WAS TALKING ABOUT IT. WE HAD AN IN CLASS DISCUSSION ABOUT IT WITH TEACHERS INVOLVED. AT THE END OF THE TALENT SHOW TODAY THEY HAD A PHOTO OF THE DRESS WITH THE WORDS “Thank you for coming!” ON IT. I’M SO FUCKING MAD
  • if you’re reading this it’s too late
  • WALUIGI = HALLEJUAH
  • *looks at smudged writing on hand*
  • Hoe don’t do it… Oh my god
  • Natalia kills
  • Uptown funk counts as a meme
  • The thing with all the emojis and send this to ten people
  • FUCKING COPPY I HATE THAT BITCH FUCK U @STAFF UF UCKING RUIN EVERYTHING
  • jet fuel can’t melt steel beams
  • Sausage movement
  • Taking the text from like a TV show title and editing it to say new shit.  I don’t even know if this meme has a name.  
  • garnet, amethyst, and (thing that isn’t pearl)
  • 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
  • Russia made memes illegal (I am gay gay gay I like long big cocks)
  • Paul Blart Mall Cop
  • rare pepe
  • *opens buzzfeed* … *closes buzzfeed*
  • sonic for real justice DOWN WITH MOD AMY. JUSTICE FOR MOD SILVER
  • barber: what you want –> barber: say no more
  • take me to snurch (snail church)
  • snake people, or sneople (two seperate memes)
  • She called me ugly I said “bitch swhere” she said “Under all that makeup” i said “bITCH SWHERE????!!!”
  • #thisgeneration
  • “HEY SPLASH! YOU FEEL GUUUDD I feel fucking hot.  PISS MY POINT AND I STRIGN TOT THE RAP WHEN I WIN I WIWDOW IWNIODANAFLASGAIGHASDFGAH”
  • mcfreakin lose it
  • down with cis
  • minions
  • just gals being pals
  • where you live you’re first language what you call this [then an image]
  • you’re a kid you’re a squid
  • knife sharpening truck
  • gothic
  • af gifsets
  • me: 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right thereright there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
  • cheeky nandos with the lads
  • anti coleslaw (coleslaw is great but everyone hates it apparently)
  • JUST DO IT DON’T LET YOUR DREAMS STAY DREAMS. YESTERDYA, YOU SAID TOMMOROW
  • like is there a college aged woman who thinks quasadillas are a mystery?
  • cute gender neuteral terms for your partner
  • the author of the journals… my brother
  • siri what’s 0 divided by 0
  • iPhone restart
  • the jurrassic world scene with chriss pratt being ike “k stay back” to the dinosaurs
  • WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE
  • The gif with rihanna flipping her hand and wiking
  • minion hate (srsly tho they’re everywhere and i hate it)
  • BUSH DID 9/11
  • if there were two guys on the moon and one killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what
  • zoobe
  • me, shoving breadsticks into purse: sorry i have to leave right now immediately
  • I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS
  • #growingup_____ (growinguphispanic, growingupblack, growingupshy, growingupasian, etc.)
  • NO NOTES
  • gun
  • okay… that sounds fake but okay
  • THE BLOCKQUOTE THING WHERE THEY AMDE IT SO YOU CAN’T EDIT SHIT
  • old american infomercials (ANim aL CRackE R s iN My sOUP)
  • you’ve heard of ________, now get ready for ______
  • YOUNG MAN, THERE’S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN I SAID YOUNG MAN
  • JOHN CENAAAA
  • X: stop telling everybody i’m dead! y: sometime’s i can still hear their voice
  • straight outta
  • the one where it’s like somebody is lost in  crowd so soebody else yells something offensive to find them
  • critically analyzing spongebob
  • netflix and chill
  • banksy
  • i hate when people dress like this… we get it you smoke weed
  • And now… back to this bitch that had a lot to say about me in the press the other day Miley what’s good?“
  • ”And now… back to this bitch that had a lot to say about me in the press. Miley, what’s good?“
  • dan nicky your bobbie s
  • kidnapper: say it me: no kidnpper: say it me: *spits at them* fuck you
  • psychologist: *reads my mind* my mind: SCREAMING psychologhist: what the fuck
  • speech bubble meme (Like the character has a speech bubble so they’re saying a text post or something)
  • vine
  • ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ
  • *violins* ……run. BOW BOW BABABABABBAA
  • does “I aint get no sleep cuz of ya’ll!” count
  • me: *takes a deep breath* i lo-
  • kinkshame
  • relatable
  • dog of wisdom (ha da ba ga. ha bada ba gaga)
  • draw the squad/otp like this should count as a meme by this point
  • pokemon go (pokemon in real life)
  • [series] personality quizzes be like
  • …….anyways
  • u gotta
  • Putting fucking Halsey lyrics and other “deep” shit on Spongebob screencaps this one was funny until i saw a marina and the diamonds one and now i just feel disrespected
  • Concept; me
  • (Taylor Swift™ No copyright infringement intended. Property of TAS LLC Management 2008©)
  • I’m the X
  • october 21st 2015 (back to the future)
  • poot lavato (this meme is actualy really shitty but it’s still a meme like nmot just a bad meme just like ableist and misogonystic and urgh)
  • the outfits for doing shti with 1d like burying harry alive outfit charts
  • hotline bling
  • “do you ever look at somebody and wonder, ‘what is going on inside their head?’”
  • the ufo in LA
  • THE SPIDERMAN SPANKING THING
  • the time shia labouef screened all of his movies for three days straight and he streamed it but he didnt stream teh movies he streamed himself watching the movie
  • pineapple pizza discourse (it’s fucking disgusting if u like it please evaluate your descisions)
  • money cat (and similar posts)
  • 47 lamborginis
  • [tumblr user] is stealing bones!
  • feudal lord/handmaiden
  • in this world it’s kill or be killed
  • replace “feminism” with
  • loss.jpg made an impressive comeback
  • 2015 in a nutshell
  • “the stars sure are beautiful tonight”
  • WAKE ME UP INSIDE WAKE MUP
  • tubbs the cat discourse
  • hobo and glunkus
  • star wars opening crawl
  • also from star wars, the ine storm trooper who yells “TRAITOR” in the force awakens
great list of 15 dialogue prompts #28
  1. “Are you okay?” “As okay as I can be without two toes”
  2. “Where is he hiding?” “The question is why the fuck is he hiding?”
  3. I don’t check my phone, you actually do. So now you can actually keep me on time.
  4. “Dude, again? What did I told you about crashing into sorority parties and starting fights with frat boys?” “That I should think about my life choices.” “Yes. And bitch what do you do?”
  5. “It’s that what your parents tell you?“ “They mostly like to tell me that I’m a mistake”
  6. I’ll count on your ability to keep silent 
  7. Isn’t it the saddest thing? Only picture she has of her daughter is an mugshot of when she was fourteen
  8. “So whose gonna screw up next?” “Ten bucks on Logan.”
  9. “What the hell happened this times?” “Best of my knowledge, she either tried to kill herself or someone tried to kill herself.”
  10. I know that smirk from everywhere
  11. “Good morning, Melinda.” “Darling, it’s good to see you alive. She’s on the second floor.”
  12. There’s a safe house on the other side of the city. I promise you’ll be safe there, if you even manage to get there. Ask for Ainsley, she will clean your wounds without asking second question.
  13. Give me a call if you need someone to teach him about manners
  14. The wall won’t actually hide us, you know that right?
  15. “Why do I live with you?” “I can get free Chinese food”

Respect Your Elders - Avengers x Reader

Originally posted by iwantcupcakes

Words: 1036
Pairing: Avengers x teen!Reader (mainly tony)
Featuring: Tony, Peter Parker, Steve
Warnings: swearing(?), sarcasm, fighting
Requested by @ibenkastbergskole
Hey I love your work, it’s so well written that I feel every emotion that you describe :) I was wondering if you could write a story with Avengersxfemreader. Where the reader is reather sarcastic, and she says something teasingly to Tony who tell her “to respect her elders” or something like that. And she tells him she’ll start when he does, and he asks what she means and she says he need to treat Bucky and Steve with respect as they are his elders? I don’t know just an idea I had 😉
Authors Note: i actually liked this more than i thought i was going to- yay!

Masterlist. Request List.


“Seriously?” You groaned with an eye roll when Tony walked passed the couch, taking your phone.

“Yes, seriously,” Tony rolled his eyes back at you, “You need to socialize, you filthy teenager.”

“I’ll socialize when I’m older and don’t know how to use social media,” You snatched your phone away from him.

“You-” Tony was cut off by Steve shouting for him before he could criticize you anymore.

“Oh, guess you have to go report to the big boss. Have fun!” You smirked and pushed him out of the room, looking back at your phone to send a text.

Clicking on Peter Parker’s contact name, RUN AWAY IT’S A SPIDER, you texted him. “Let’s hang out and complain about Tony.

I’m down,” He replied almost instantly.

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  • Wrench: I'm actually very responsible and mature.
  • Sitara: Yeah sure. Like that time when you acidentally gave away DedSecs important hard drive to Prime_Eight?
  • Wrench: That was one time on-
  • Sitara: Or that time when you were drunk and you made those flirty advances on Marcus and me?
  • Wrench: It was on-
  • Sitara: And that time you thought your own shadow was a ghost following you?
  • Wrench: I was dru-
  • Sitara: Let's also not forg-
  • Wrench: Do you just happen to have a list of stupid things I do?
  • Sitara: Yes. In fact I do.
  • Wrench: Wait wha-
  • Sitara: *takes out long list of paper*
  • Wrench:

Okay so apparently there was an actual Percival Graves whom Grindelwald presumably murdered slash kept in a box so that he could impersonate him.

I’m 100% sure that in order to do this thing he got like, a list of all the important American wizards that he went through name by name, until he saw some dude called Percival and went YES THIS ONE.

“YOU’RE THE ONE I’M IMPERSONATING THIS IS FATE”

while I think it’s entirely possible that magnus gave simon and raphael an actual list of ingredients he actually needs for other things, I think it’s much more likely that they showed up at catarina’s with a piece of paper that just said “idk, sorry”

First Time Watching the Gay Pilot

So I finally got around to watching the Sherlock Pilot for the first time last night (on the eve of their anniversary, hngg)! 

It fucked with me so bad that I had to make a list of the actual irl commentary I made:

-Wow this is probably the greatest title sequence ive ever seen

-Bby lestrade my boy

-Mike Stamford the real mvp

-Why the fuck are they at a fancy restaurant

-This music tho

-Damn he’s young

-This is so gay

-Wow

-Mrs Hudson owns a fuckin bakery?

-Wow what a gay flat

-Hudders ships it in every universe

-Such gay ambiance

-There’s 5 suicides now?

-Could they have made this more gay

-“oh god yes” sounds gayer every time I hear it

-cab rides are a blessing

-who is this Donovan

-why is Sherlock wearing the biohazard suit thing

-such a young, smol, softe bean

-john Watson please stop looking at sherl like that in public

-wow that’s the gayest thing ive ever seen

-I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT THAT WAS THE ACTUAL MUSIC THEY USED

-You bet your ass john Watson is wired

-He’s wearing jeans?!!?!

-No John I promise Sherlock isn’t the killer

-HE’S WEARING FUCKING JEANS THOUGH?!?!

-HIS HAIR

-HIS JEANS

-You bet your ass there’s a fire in the fireplace

-Straight men who just met don’t walk within 3 centimeters of each other dear god

-Haha gay

-Angelo the real mvp

-GAYY

-You know I really never thought things could be any gayer but here we are

-“I wasn’t asking you out” my ass

-John Watson stop sounding so dejected, Sherlock holmes fucking loves you

-I DIDN’T REALIZE IT WAS WINE IN ALL THE SCREENCAPS

-Oh this shit is good

-SAVE HIM

-How the fuck did jeff hope haul sherl’s ass up 2 flights of stairs

-O no is this gonna be sexual again like with magnussen

-O shit please don’t rape him

-HIS BUTT

-His gay eyes

-His gay hair

-Wow I love the princess bride

-Please stop licking your teeth

-HE HAS FRECKLES

-“good ole doctor Watson” In fucking deed

-do not dry swallow that shit

-john fucking Watson to the rescue

-oh dear god he has his blood on him

-“dreadful business. Dreadful.” I’LL TELL YOU WHATS FUCKING DREADFUL. TFP. THAT’S WHAT.

-John watson’s gay eyes

-“I’ll sleep fine tonight” hmm what’s this weird lump doing in my throat

-“and only a fool argues with his doctor” im sorry, is this gay or is this gay?

-john Hamish Watson did you just purse your lips

-martin freeman and benedict cumberbatch shouldn’t be allowed to smile at the same time while standing so close to each other

-gay

Santa Cookies

Please, excuse any mistakes. I’m blind to them now. This was an effort to get back into writing because I’ve forgotten how.


Kara triple checked the list one last time. Her goal was to come home with each and every item, and only those items, so she could prove to Cat that, yes, she was capable of handling the responsibility of their family’s grocery shopping. Come home with groceries at a ratio of 4:1 in favor of cookies to actual groceries one time… It didn’t matter, she told herself as she matched the last item on her list to its pair in the cart. It only took five months for Cat to trust her again.

“Okay, that should be it.” Satisfied, Kara went to stuff the list in her coat pocket, but felt a small tug on her coat. She looked down into Carter’s worried face. “Hey, hey. Don’t worry, Little Man. Your mom won’t be mad this time.” She flipped the list around so the four year old could see. “Everything is checked off, and there’s no extra items in our cart,” she told him, but his worried look persisted.

Carter shuffled his feet and glanced down the aisle at the rows of cookies they had just passed. It had taken all her willpower to resist the temptation as each box and brand called to her so sweetly with each step she took. They should have just taken a detour down the toilet paper aisle, but Kara was a sucker for punishment.

“But… but what about cookies? For Santa?” he asked, pulling on his jacket’s strings. It was one of Carter’s nervous tells. Usually, it appeared when he asked for dessert after not finishing all of his vegetables at dinner. Cat often commented on how similar Kara and Carter’s nervous mannerisms were.

“Santa?” Kara hummed. “He does like cookies, doesn’t he?”

Carter smiled and bobbed his head up and down. “Uh-huh! A whole lot,” he exclaimed, holding his arms out from his sides. “This much! Almost as much as you!”

“THAT much?” Kara feigned shock and clutched her chest. “Are you sure? Because I love them lots.” He nodded his head again.

This was new for Kara. Her relationship with Cat had been in its infancy last year at Christmas, so she hadn’t been privy to their rituals, and as much as she was learning about the Grant family Christmas traditions this year, like the best time to buy a tree and the proper way to trim it – lights, then garland, then ornaments, then the tree topper – cookies for Santa hadn’t been mentioned. They weren’t on the list, either. It was Christmas Eve Eve, though, so surely that was a mistake. Right?

She looked down at Carter’s smiling face. She felt blessed to be a part of this little family, and she’d do anything for this little boy and his mother. Kara nodded. “We definitely need cookies for Santa!”

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