((yes there is an actual list))

so I’m having a weirdly good week?

Played Stardew Valley yesterday and still managed a half a dozen things on the to-do list (including finding a dentist for the first time in over a decade, so that first appointment next week’s gonna be a doozy, whee! Not)

and the dishes are Not Backed Up, tho I’m a little behind on Step 3 (put it the fuck away) for the laundry

I AM USING MY FRUIT BOWL FOR FRUIT AND IT’S ACTUALLY OUT ON THE COUNTER

I NEVER MANAGE THAT

I FEEL SO FANCY

Went grocery shopping this morning. yes, the day before Thanksgiving! Because I R SMRT… it wasn’t actually that bad though? And I remembered butter which I’d forgotten the last three times I went shopping so we’d been COMPLETELY OUT FOR HALF A WEEK so that was good, at last.

am actually not so exhausted that having the kids home for four days sounds kinda painful, as happened for their last long weekend (new meds working? I think new meds are working!)

speaking of (long weekend not meds)

HAPPY ANTI-THANKSGIVING LIFESTYLE Y'ALL

Like, honestly, in Thing 2’s school they were talking about thanksgiving traditions and he told me about it when he got home and I’m all… we don’t have any, what did you say?

He said we play board games.

I can get behind that as a tradition? 

anonymous asked:

hey! ever thought about writing The Walking Dead fics? you are an amazing writer and would do perfect with them. if you never watched it, i totally recommend :)

Hey hey! Yes, I actually have, plenty of times, because these days I am (still) trying to decide what new show I need to start between TWD and The 100, other than a couple others. Anyways, hopefully I can start soon once everything is sorted out with university and I can add it to my writing list! ^v^

Originally posted by teamlucille

I feel like I want to make some people SHOOK today, so here is a free mini-lesson for everyone (P.S: If you’re American then please pay close attention):

-There isn’t a single country in the Middle-East that has the word “stan” in it. Not a single one.

-And yes, that includes Pakistan & Afghanistan.

-Yes you heard me correctly, both of Pakistan & Afghanistan are not in the Middle-East, but instead they’re in South & Central Asia.

-Muslims don’t wear turbans, at all.

-Arabs/Middle-Eastern people also don’t wear turbans either, at all (In some Arabic countries there ARE types of traditional headwraps and they’re called “Emamah”, however they’re not called turbans and you can easily tell the difference between them if you bother learning).

-The only Religion/Culture whose people do wear turbans are called Sikhs, follower of Sikhism religion. And no, Sikhs are not from the Middle-East either, but are primely from India.

-There are over three muslim countries in Europe. And no, the muslims there aren’t immigrants but are in fact native white Europeans who are also Muslims (Yes white European muslims exist, since you know, Islam is a universal religion not an ethnicity or a race)

-There’s over 50 Muslim countries in this world and aside from Iran there isn’t a single muslim country in this globe that forces women to wear Hijab (Headscarf) By law. 49 out of 50 muslim countries don’t have laws forcing women to wear Hijab or face veils.

-A Muslim woman wearing a Burqa is an extremely rare thing that can hardly be found in any Muslim countries, so if you see a Muslim woman covering her face with a type of cloth then that piece of cloth is most likely a Niqab NOT a Burqa (Seriously, don’t bother saying Burqa cuz 99.9% of the time, the thing you want to describe is probably not a Burqa)

-Only 23% of the world’s Muslims population are from Arab/Middle-Eastern countries. Yes, there are more non-Middle-Eastern/Arab Muslims than there are Middle-Eastern/Arab Muslims.

-Prophet Muhammad’s wife Aisha wasn’t 7 when she married him, but was actually 19 at the time of the wedding (And this have been debunked for centuries now, yet it’s still used by Islamophobics till this day).

-Almost everything I have said in this post have been true for centuries actually, so if you didn’t already know at least one of the things from this list then you really have no excuse to be this deep in the dark.

some of my favorite silly plotlines from Scottish ballads
  • Small village thinks illicit whiskey stills are its biggest problem until raiders show up and trash their everything. Death, destruction, etc. Raiders find whiskey still, get lit, pass out. Villagers murder them. Peace restored. Whiskey is king.
  • Shepherd lad spots fair maid skinny-dipping. Fair maid pleads for her virtue and/or clothing. Shepherd lad is complete gentleman, escorts her home with clothing and virtue intact. Fair maid demands to know what she has to do to get laid around here.
  • Plucky heroine’s boyfriend goes to sea, fails to return. Plucky heroine dresses in drag and goes to find him. Plucky heroine discovers boyfriend happily married to someone else. Plucky heroine shoots his head right off.
  • Do Not Stop By The Local Weaver’s House, You Will Get So Pregnant, Like, Super Pregnant, I’m Not Kidding, This Has Been A Public Service Announcement.
  • Wealthy farmwife habitually searches her maidservants’ dorm for SIGNS OF MEN out of concern for their virtue. Maids less concerned for their virtue are having None Of It. Maids hide scarecrow in dorm, farm mistakes scarecrow for prowler, farmwife decapitates scarecrow. Farmwife believes herself a murderer. Maids now permitted to do as they please, virtue-wise. 
  • Idiot son sent to market to sell cow. Scheming lass seduces idiot son out of cow, pants, and even shoes.
  • Dad returns from business trip to find daughter Super Pregnant, demands to meet the man responsible. Dad takes one look at man responsible and tells daughter “okay, you’re off the hook, I would have banged him too.”
  • Handsome stranger bribes fair maid to leave town with him. Fair maid rejects various bribes until handsome stranger flat-out offers her money, which she accepts. Handsome stranger turns out to be, to no one’s great surprise, the actual devil. Fair maid regrets her life choices.
  • Gallant knight goes forth to slay dragon. Dragon eats knight, but has indigestion.

ETA: If anyone has been reblogging this and wants to know what the songs are, here is the list! Or if you’re too lazy to click things, The Devil Uisge Beatha + Shepherd Lad + Billy Taylor + Tae The Weaver’s Gin Ye Go + The Straw Man + Cow Song + Willie Winsbury + The Devil’s Courtship + Sir Eglamore

Different Types of Hufflepuffs
  • The Soldier: the epitome of "Yes, we can" always defying odds, Eye of the Tiger playing in the background
  • The Sunflower: Friends with everyone, never gossips, some bitter people don't like them because "no one is ACTUALLY that nice" yes they are
  • The Punk: wears exclusively leather, probably has hair dyed a crazy color, chokers are a must, does not put up with people's shit
  • The Dork: blushing 80% of the time, loves the little things in life, lives for sweater vests
  • The Guardian: will fight anyone who talks shit about friends, probably has a hit list
  • The Designated Driver: always taking care of friends, gets called "Mom" or "Dad" a lot, low key loves it
  • The Golden Child: perfection™ incarnate, cannot do anything wrong, probably was on the LIFE cereal boxes as a kid
  • The Sass Master: has a snarky comeback for everything normally followed by a chorus of "yassss queen", lives life with a smirk or cocked eye brow
Captain America: Civil War – the We Are All Rational Adults Version

(The more I think about Civil War the more annoyed I get)

Tony: okay so these Accords

Tony: obviously the fact we’ve only just heard of them and they’re being signed in 3 days and they’re fatter than all of us is some shit

Steve: language

Tony: but the fact is, we can’t just run around wherever we want punching people that we personally decide are bad guys

Tony: countries have the right to make their own laws and we can’t just ignore them because we’re really cool

Tony: (though we are)

Tony: anyway the fact is nobody actually voted for you to be President of Avengerdonia, steve, so we should like, obey the people we elected, like everyone else in the world does, this is how democracy works

Sam: i would vote for steve

Steve: i will be honest here

Steve: i have very much enjoyed being in charge with no restrictions

Steve: it has been very efficient and we’ve saved loads of lives (like loads)

Steve: however as i am not in fact a massive jerkhole dictator and i do believe in democracy

Steve: you are of course right we should get the nod from the government before we crash in anywhere to save the day, as long as that can be done quickly and effectively, and won’t mean that i’m completely banned from saving people

Steve: (because i have zero impulse control when it comes to saving people i just do it)

Tony: oh we know

Sam: everyone else would vote for steve too right natasha you’d vote for steve

Natasha:  no comment

Steve: i mean there are a couple of other things i want to talk about in these papers

Wanda: like the fact we’re not actually accountable for the actions of all supervillains everywhere?

Steve: yeah and the fact that it doesn’t specify that we can’t be thrown in a monstrous sea-jail without a trial or lawyers if we damage property while defending ourselves

Tony: wow steve we’re (mostly) US citizens do you really think we need to specify that?

Steve: i’ve read about ross

Steve: yes we do

Tony: okay then, how about we sit here and hash out our list of amendments and caveats, which they really should have consulted us about more than three days before they meet to sign this document that controls our lives, and we take our improved accords to vienna and talk about it there?

Steve: that sounds really sensible

Sam: wanda you vote for steve too right

Bucky: i do not vote for steve. i vote for anyone except steve. i vote for tony stank’s left shoe, because it is far less reckless than steve

Sam: dude you’re not even in this part of the movie yet

Bucky: i showed up early just to say don’t vote for steve

Tony: holy shit it’s the winter soldier

Bucky: ooooh steve doesn’t like that kind of language you know

Steve: go away and wait for your appropriate plot hook barnes what is this

fin

[Revised 2/17] Books for Witches, Diviners and Spellcasters

Hi, everyone. A while back (a long time ago, actually), I started an annotated bibliography on books about witchcraft and magick, and I’ve updated it once (last November). 

Since then, I’d been keeping a list of things I need to add to it, but didn’t get around to actually reworking and updating the list a second time until today. Largely because I can’t really go outside much today because of the smog. But anyways, here it is. I’ve also included divination-related books in this version, whereas previously they were separate.

I hope you find something on here that suits your fancy! Happy reading! Also, yes, I do want to do more book reviews on this blog, so if you’d like a longer review of one of the books listed below, let me know and I can write one.

For Absolute Beginners

Encyclopedia of Witchcraft, by Judika Illes. Even better than the Weiser Field Guide to Witches - this book is huge and chock-full of information. It’ll explain in easy-to-understand language how the concept has developed throughout time, why witches do what they do, and different types of witches.

The Weiser Field Guide to Witches, by Judika Illes. This gives an excellent look at the historical lore concerning witches, from the perspective of a witch herself. It’s kind of tongue-in-cheek, but it does have some information that won’t be found elsewhere.

The Modern Guide to Witchcraft, by Skye Alexander. Great book for those who’re really absolute beginners and are wondering what witchcraft is all about. Skye takes a very postmodern, utilitarian, and unfailingly honest approach, and it’s geared towards those of almost any belief system.

Grimoire for the Apprentice Wizard, by Oberon Zell-Ravenheart. Attractively packaged and readible for almost all ages, this is a great (mostly) non-denominational look at the foundations of magical practice. It’s extremely detailed. Some of it only applies to Zell’s own tradition, but it’s quite useful, anyways.

Basic Techniques

Protection and Reversal Magick, by Jason Miller. This gets a little woo-woo at times, but he gives good advice on how to avoid serious problems that can come up as you begin to practice. Take with a grain of salt, though - some of this has the potential to make you feel paranoid.

City Magick, by Christopher Penczak. If you’re at all interested in tech witchery, or just want to practice magick within an urban setting, do check this out. It is by far the best look at the subject I’ve seen, and his discussion of urban tutelary spirits is worth the price alone.

Power Spellcraft for Life, by Arin Murphy-Hiscock. Nicely done, quite secular book providing basic beginner information regarding writing original spells and workings. It does fall prey to the trap of just listing correspondences with little information at times, but also contains a great deal of detail about ritual timing, raising power, and other topics essential for the beginner.

Sorcerer’s Secrets, by Jason Miller. This is a decent volume that describes a lot of techniques you don’t usually see in books, such as gesture and gaze-based magick. Be warned that Miller writes extensively about manipulative techniques, but it’s useful theory regardless of how you put it into practice.

Witch’s Bag of Tricks, by Melanie Marquis. This is not recommended for beginners, because the whole point of this book is to help existing practitioners refine and improve their already-established techniques. It’s got some novel ideas in it, and I like the author’s approach to symbolism in spellcasting.

Direct Magick (Energy Work)

The Un-Spell Book, by Mya Om. This non-denominational guide to working with magical forces is filled with useful exercises that go beyond the author’s previous work. I recommend reading this after reading Energy Essentials.

Instant Magick, by Christopher Penczak. Excellent beginner’s guide for those who don’t have access to a lot of fancy tools or prefer to work without them. This book won’t instantly teach you magick, but it will help even a seasoned practitioner find quicker, less-complicated ways of achieving results.

Energy Essentials for Witches and Spellcasters, by Mya Om. Though I balk at the use of the term “energy” to describe magical forces, this book is worth a look. It’s a bit like a workbook, with various exercises. Expect a lot of pseudoscience, though, and there are many religious references, but the techniques are solid.

Hedgewitchery and Astral Travel

Ecstatic Witchcraft, by Gede Parma. This is actually probably my favorite book on this subject, even though hedgeriding is only a part of what the book discusses. The only bad thing I can really say about this book is that it’s really not recommended for beginners, and it’s helpful to have the basics of visualization already mastered (for example) before doing the exercises Parma recommends.

By Land, Sky and Sea, by Gede Parma. This book goes into even greater details regarding different ways of conceptualizing the cosmology of hedgeriding, and I find it a very refreshing book that appreciatively draws from a number of different perspectives while grounding itself, so to speak, with the overarching metaphor of land, sky, and sea as the three worlds.

The Temple of Shamanic Witchcraft, by Christopher Penczak. Penczak is usually a pretty mixed bag, and this book is no exception. It gives a lot of good practical information and a very in-depth exploration of the three worlds (a useful concept), but it’s primarily framed by Wicca, so it might not resonate with those of other faiths and particularly those who aren’t pagan at all.

Ascension Magick, by Christopher Penczak. There’s a chapter or two in this that address alternate ways of conceptualizing the architecture of reality, and it’s pretty helpful for a hedgerider. Beyond that, this book is mostly about ceremonial magick, but it’s a (mostly) good book. Certain parts (such as the bit about UFOs) are a little off, in my opinion.

The Shamanic Witch, by Gail Wood. This book is really best suited for someone who practices Wicca and, besides the background info and cosmological descriptions, is really only useful in the context of that tradition. If you’re Wiccan or willing to pick around a lot of Wiccan-talk, though, this is a good foundation.

Witches, Werewolves and Fairies, by Claude Lecouteux. It can be hard to find scholarly works on these phenomena that are affordable, but here’s one I personally enjoyed. It details many accounts of journeying experienced by both pagans and Christians in earlier times, and gives a good description of the concept of the astral double, the architecture of the soul, and other topics throughout history.

Betwixt and Between, by Storm Faerywolf. This book is mostly a guide to the Feri tradition of witchcraft, but while I myself don’t practice that, those who do seem to know a lot about hedgeriding! The book has several chapters on the subject and is highly recommended for this reason.

The Psychic Energy Codex, by Michelle Belanger. A lot of people have strong opinions about this author, but this is book actually provides a lot of good information about so-called “energy work” which can be a step in the right direction for those wanting to ride the hedge.

Psychic Dreamwalking, by Michelle Belanger. In this book, Belanger discusses, essentially, how to use your non-waking life as a vehicle to for journeying, and while I myself don’t usually dreamwalk, much of what she says applies to hedgeriding in other states, too.

Hedge Riding and Hedge Witchcraft, by Harmonia Saille. I only mention these two in order to say that they’re best avoided. Saille tries to give a comprehensive look at the phenomenon, but it’s poorly-written and overly New Age. The negative reviews of them on Amazon really cover the problems with these book in more detail than I ever could.

Magical Writing, Words, and Symbols

Dictionary of Ancient Magic Words and Spells, by Claude Lecouteux. Mostly a historical text, this book isn’t exactly practical or terribly useful. It is, nevertheless, incredibly interesting. It’s a bit difficult to navigate, but worth a glance.

Composing Magick, by Elizabeth Barrette. A very general, but well-done, look at writing in a magical context. Some of the ritual templates are slightly specific to religious witchcraft traditions, but most information is widely applicable.

Crafting Magick with Pen and Ink, by Susan Pesnecker. Focuses both on the physical act of writing as a magical act, and the mental state associated with it. Highly recommended

The Modern Witchcraft Grimoire, by Skye Alexander. This book is for those who want to create their own grimoire. It gives fairly good advice for doing so, as well as providing hints and tricks for spellcasting and useful correspondences.

General Concepts

Planetary Magick, by Melita Denning and Osborne Phillips. If you want to work with the planets at all, particularly in a highly ritualized context, I recommend this book. It’s large, comprehensive and gives a good foundation beyond what you find in general astrology books.

Practical Planetary Magick, by Sorita d’Este and David Rankine. Shorter than I would have liked, but a useful reference to have on your shelf, with excellent tables and appendices in the back. The meditations are also quite useful.

Practical Elemental Magick, by Sorita d’Este and David Rankine. Should be read alongside the other book by this pair. Comprehensive guide to working with the elements in a ritualized fashion. Not as accessible to newbies as Lipp’s book, but good for seasoned practitioners.

The Way of Four, by Deborah Lipp. Though mostly geared towards Wiccans, I found this author’s in-depth treatment of the four elements highly fascinating. I will note that it’s probably best to get the print version of this book, as it contains exercises and quizzes.

Ingredients and Correspondences

The Herbal Alchemist’s Handbook, by Karen Harrison. I cannot praise this book enough for its concise and well-formulated approach to astrology, herbs, and magick as a whole.

The Weiser Concise Guide to Herbal Magick, by Judith Hawkins-Tillirson. This is excellent for anyone who’s interested in any kind of magick. Yes, the focus is generally herbs, but there’s a lot to be learned here about Kabbalah and other correspondence systems, as well.

Mixing Essential Oils for Magic, by Sandra Kynes. Fills a very difficult gap in published knowledge regarding the use of essential oils by discussing, in great detail, how scents interact with each other and how to create a formula that’s not only palatable, but evocative.

Dunwich’s Guide to Gemstone Sorcery, by Gerina Dunwich. Given the New Age fascination with all things shiny, it was quite a chore to sort through the myriad crystal books to find something with good information. While far from perfect and not exactly devoid of fluff, this book does give a level of detail about the lore surrounding gemstones not seen in many other texts.

Real Alchemy, by Robert Allen Bartlett. Excellent book, lots of history and detail. There’s a strong focus on tradition within the text, yet the author is quite accommodating of his audience and describes alternate methods that work better in a modern context.

Spagyrics, by Manfred M. Junius. With a highly-developed academic tone and attention to detail, this book is a meaty look at traditional alchemy. I recommend this more for intermediate practitioners due to the sheer density of information.

Spellbooks

The Goodly Spellbook, by Dixie Deerman and Steve Rasmussen. The title sounds horribly fluffy, but this is a hidden gem. It explains obscure concepts like alternative alphabets and potential uses of musical notes, as well as plant lore and other bits and pieces. Definitely worth checking out. It’s way more than just “a book of spells.”

Encyclopedia of 5,000 Spells, by Judika Illes. The title sounds trite to some, but it delivers. This book has spells from almost every culture and spiritual philosophy, as well as a very detailed formulary. I read it when I’m bored sometimes, too, just because I always learn some tidbit from it.

Book of Spells, by Nicola Pulford. In most editions, this book is absolutely gorgeous and describes spellcasting traditions from a variety of perspectives and traditions. Recommended for those who already understand the basics, as this book jumps straight into spellcasting and gives only a small amount of information about how things work.

Ceremonial Magick

Modern Magick, by Donald Michael Kraig. I received this as a gift several years ago. It is essentially a workbook meant to be completed slowly, step by step, and while the format will not appeal to everyone, it’s a good easy-to-read introduction to ceremonial magick.

Familiar Spirits, by Donald Tyson. Though geared towards ceremonialists, any practitioner can likely learn a thing or two from Tyson’s interesting stroll through the whys and wherefores of spirit work and thoughtform creation. This is by far the best book I’ve seen on the topic of familiar spirits.

Secrets of High Magick, by Francis Melville. The most recent edition of this (the one I own) is lavishly-illustrated and full of rudimentary, yet useful information. He stresses the basics of ceremonial practice, and his writing style is very accessible. Highly recommended for absolute beginners.

My Life With The Spirits, by Lon Milo DuQuette. This is a memoir of a ceremonial magician, but it gives a good look at the magickal mindset in a highly developed form from someone who’s experienced quite a lot. I have major issues with DuQuette’s approach to Qabalah, but his memoirs are worth a read.

Chaos Magick

Liber Null and Psychonaut, by Peter Carroll. Classic book of chaos magick. I consider it required reading for almost anyone interested in the occult. Even if you have no love for chaos magick, do give it a read, just to understand how influential Carroll is, and why.

Hands-On Chaos Magic, by Andrieh Vitimus. Knowing some of the people involved in the creation of this book, I’m a bit biased towards it. That said, even if I didn’t know them, I would still recommend it. It’s especially interesting to read alongside Liber Null and Psychonautin order to see how the chaos “current” has developed over the years.

Pop Culture Magic 2.0 by Taylor Ellwood. There aren’t a lot of books on using pop culture symbolism in magick, but this one is nearly perfect. The author writes in a highly erudite, literate fashion, while still being accessible to newbies. Many useful resources cited, as well, so prepare to branch off a bit while reading it.

History-Related

Triumph of the Moon, by Ronald Hutton. An inside no-holds-barred look at the history of Wicca and Modern paganism. Highly recommended. This is sort of the book that fluffbunnies don’t want you to read.

Book of Lies: The Disinformation Guide to Magick and the Occult, by Richard Metzger. Lots of facts and history of magick in the context of Postmodernity. This is different from the Crowley text of the same name, which I wouldn’t recommend unless you want to focus on his tradition.

The Place of Enchantment, by Alex Owen. This is a purely historical text that documents the occult revival within the context of Modernity. I remember it being very good, but please realize I haven’t really picked it up much since graduating, and it might just have served my mindset at the time.

Tarot

The Book of Thoth, by Aleister Crowley. Make sure you actually own (or have access to pictures of) the Thoth deck before you dive into this. By far one of the best books on Tarot ever published. The prose is often dense and purple, but in this one book, Crowley teaches so much about Tarot and it’s connection to the Western Mystery Tradition. I can’t really say much more - it must be experienced.

The Pictorial Key to the Tarot, by Arthur Edward Waite. I recommend this book because it is a classic and was introductory for many older readers. It will teach you to read and gives insight into the methodology behind the Waite-Smith deck specifically, particularly his use of what are essentially parables and why he does this. Do not expect too much esoteric information, but read it anyways.

Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom, by Rachel Pollack. This is the epitome of a good modern Tarot book and is really one of the first ones I’d recommend for someone looking for an accessible book on Tarot in a modern context. Very dense in information and history, yet altogether worth it. You’ll want highlighters nearby for this one!

Tarot for a New Generation, by Janina Renée. This is essentially a book for children and teenagers, but I do recommend it for them, specifically, because it is well-written, easy to understand, and helpful to absolute beginners.

Secrets of the Waite-Smith Tarot, by Marcus Katz and Tali Goodwin. This book focuses just on the history, symbolism, and creative process of the Waite-Smith deck. It gives you an inside line on just what Pixie Smith was thinking when painting specific scenes, and is a great look at her life’s work, as well.

The Tarot: History, Symbolism, and Divination, by Robert M. Place. This book will not teach you to read Tarot, but does give an actual, accurate portrait of the history of the phenomena, which is incredibly important and useful. Know your history.

Understanding Aleister Crowley’s Thoth Tarot, by Lon Milo DuQuette. I hesitate to recommend DuQuette due to issues I have with his approach to Qabalah, but many people ask me for a beginner book for the Thoth Tarot specifically, and this is the closest I’ve come to finding one. I recommend reading this alongside, and not instead of, Crowley’s Book of Thoth.

The Back in Time Tarot, by Janet Boyer. This is more for the intermediate reader, and the entire book details a single, extremely useful technique for familiarizing yourself with the cards, namely by framing past events in terms of how they might appear in a spread.

Lenormand

The Essential Lenormand, by Rana George. This was not the first Lenormand book I picked up, but it was the most influential and intense. Ms. George writes in a personable, touching fashion and brings the concepts of the system home by relating them to life experiences in a way rarely seen. She is one of those authors I literally go all “fangirl” over.

Learning Lenormand, by Marcus Katz and Tali Goodwin. This is one of the better beginner books on Lenormand. I’m not going to lie - it isn’t as good as Rana George’s, but it definitely is worth reading if you’re completely new to the system. It’s very accessible, where some of the books I’ll be listing later in this can seem intimidating, or so I’ve been told.

Lenormand: Thirty-Six Cards, by Andy Boroveshengra. This book is intense, but in a different way than Ms. George’s. Expect to be inundated with information and techniques. Another one of those where you really need to take notes or highlight while reading, and read it multiple times.

Secrets of the Lenormand Oracle, by Sylvie Steinbach. This book is organized in a novel and useful fashion by topic, and gives specific techniques for readings on love, money, spirituality, and other topics. Highly recommended, and I tend to use it as a reference book nowadays, looking things up as needed.

The Complete Lenormand Oracle Handbook, by Caitlyn Matthews. Not for the beginner, nor the faint at heart, this one details a lot of what, to me, seem to be more advanced approaches and techniques. I use this book a lot, and I think anyone else will enjoy it, too. Good information on the connection between Lenormand and traditional playing cards, too.

Cartomancy with Lenormand and the Tarot, by Patrick Dunn. This is more of a special topic book, and best read after you’ve got some familiarity with both Tarot and Lenormand. It’s all about using them in tandem and the synergy between them.

Astrology

The Luminaries, by Liz Greene. I could really recommend anything by this author, but she’s written so much, and this book is a particularly important one. It focuses entirely on the Sun and Moon in astrology, and gives a good look at why the luminaries need to have a special place in your understanding.

The Weiser Concise Guide to Practical Astrology, by Priscilla Costello. This is focused, as you might expect, on actual interpretation of charts and less on theory, but it gives a good background on that, too. Was quite helpful in my attempts to interpret @xepsurah‘s unusual natal chart.

The Complete Book of Astrology, by Kris Brandt Riske. Very beginner, and very light on intellect, heavy on intuition. A great introduction, but I would not suggest it as the only book you read if you’re really interested in the subject.

Tasseography

Tea Leaf Reading for Beginners, by Caroline Dow. There are only a few books within Llewellyn’s immensely popular “For Beginners” series that I would recommend, and this is one of them. The symbol glossary (which makes up the bulk of the book) is the most useful part.

Tea Cup Reading, by Sasha Fenton. This book goes into some detail (quite a bit, actually) about the history of tea and coffee, and, better yet, how to prepare them in the traditional fashion! A lot of traditional lore is described, as well.

Scrying, etc.

Scrying for Beginners, by Donald Tyson. This is really a surprise find, as I don’t usually expect much from this series, by Tyson knows his history and goes far beyond simple exercises for scrying. He is a bit biased towards mirror and crystal-gazing techniques, but does discuss other methods.

Psychic Development for Beginners, by William Hewitt. Readable, and offers some very practical developmental exercises for those wishing to hone extrasensory abilities. Be prepared to sort through a lot of woo, though.

Mbti Types as Millennials You’ll Meet

Disclaimer: this post is purely for amusement & LOLs ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

ISTJ: TRADITIONALIST 
- has a fetish for Mon-Fri 9 to 5 jobs + benefits 
- traditional AF 
- this species is v endangered, please donate 
- has had the same goals and dreams since they were a fetus 
- productive member of society™ 

 ESTJ: YUPPIE
- working 27/9 on multiple projects, multiple jobs & multiple underlings to command
- getting more stuff done than you’ll ever do in your lifetime
- somehow has a neater desk than you but knows how to party it up when they’re finally off hours
- fav type of party is a networking party
- actually has time and money to Netflix 

 INTJ: COLLECTORS
- is on all the social medias but almost never posts
- knows all the tings but never really says it
- v secretive
 - will low-key become a billionaire overnight for starting a very important company that no one has heard of 

 ENTJ: YOUR BOSS
- is the only person who actually knows what they’re doing
- started taking on leadership roles since birth (re: shoved the doctor out of the way to cut their own umbilical cord)
- shows love via loud criticism – is only trying to help you help yourself
- so DONEEE with incompetence 

 ISFJ: MILLENNIAL MOM
- shares so many Facebook posts that fb definitely knows who they voted for/where they shop at/intimate details even they don’t know
- actually writes Amazon reviews (thank you)
- replies to all messages from fam within 30 seconds
- attends annual mom convention just to maintain their status (Level 10 Mom Friend™) 

 ESFJ: FOODIES
- has multiple social platforms to display their culinary skills (STATUS: black belt)
- charming AF but WILL throw shade if provoked
- hair is goals
- listed on Huffington Post as top 21 Pinterest users to follow 

 INTP: THE FUTURE™
- obsessed with the possibilities of the future
- topics all INTPs are pre-programmed to get excited about: AI, start-ups, technology, STEM jokes
- may combust when stupid arguments are portrayed as facts
- procrastination level: over 9000 

 ENTP: BROGRAMMERS
- speaks a foreign language invented by them
- beer parties & philosophical debates are always lit
- pretty WOKE actually
- Nerd™ 

 INFJ: MODERN HIPSTER
- had first quarter life crisis at 15
- your official therapist
- writes self-love/compassion/know-yourself/nostalgia posts for a website
- stares through a window from time to time looking contemplative 

 ENFJ: GRASSROOTS CHAMPION
- actually has their life together despite repeat quarter life crises
- persuasive AF
- “I do what I want, I don’t need your validation … but also I consider how it affects everyone around me and how I’ll be perceived”
- won Volunteer of the Year award every year for the last 5 years; got promoted to presenting the Volunteer of the Year award instead 

 ENFP: EXUBERANTS
- lives off of the Likes of friends and random Internet strangers
- needs social validation through an IV drip
- will most likely die of FOMO
- life motto: pics or it didn’t happen
- golden retriever but looks like a person (cute either way) 

 INFP: UNDEREMPLOYED
- Feelings™
- overqualified for all the jobs but doesn’t know what jobs they actually care enough to apply for
- posts are always either WOKE AF or self-deprecating
- hopes and dreams are on life support 

 ESTP: WANDERLUST™
- bucket-list longer than Santa’s list
- only has semi-naked pics on Tinder
- knows the most important words in every language (i.e. “what’s your phone number”)
- no honey, don’t call them; yes, they’re definitely seeing other people 

 ISTP: SHUT OUTs
- self-employed
- will low-key land a steady 6 figure job for being in the right place at the right time 
- moonlights as a hand model
- credit card ebills show 20% of income spent on Redbull/coffee 

 ESFP: YOUTUBE VLOGGER
- EXTRA AF™
- somehow amassed a HUGE following from weekly 10 minute videos about their day
- will fake their death if no one is paying attention to them
- actually really savage
- sparkly 

 ISFP: PROFESSIONAL SELFIES TAKER
- living embodiment of the word “aesthetic”
- hair/style/make-up/art is goals
- snapchat game is on point
- etsy is only their side hussle
- flower crowns filters 

me as president, first day

*getting up on a big stage with an actual scroll with a list on it, about to make an address*

me: yes uh, leprechauns… 

me: goblins.. molemen, aliens, and scooby doo.

*there is deafening silence across the country*

me: they exist, i mean. 

are you familiar with the feeling of oh-my-holy-moly-my-life-is-a-complete-mess? me too fam. but now, it’s time for change. It’s time to get our shit together and here are some tips to get started.

note : this is just a beginning guide; which only includes 1/100 of the tips to get you life together. I’ll probably make a part two if this is helpful?


1. do not procrastinate.

sounds crazy? but honestly, just don’t. procrastination leads to stress and anxiety and helps you lose your shit.

but, how do we not procrastinate?

  • ‌get things done early. remember that sheet of paper your professor gave around in class having the list of all the assignments to be done that semester? yes, do that work months before if you have time.
  • do your homework the day it’s given. (no watching tv before you do)
  • ‌study in the time you’re actually studying. don’t go on your phone half the time. If you’re doing that, you may as well put your books away.

‌other resources -

2. become the master of  “fake productivity”

fake productivity is basically when you do mechanical work (i.e. stuff which doesn’t require much brainpower) to get into the real “productivity” zone. it helps you brain prepare for the big task ahead. here are some things to do -

  • make your bed
  • do the dishes/laundry
  • clean your room (i know it’s messy yo)
  • get your closet together
  • empty your inbox (be it gmail or tumblr)
  • do a smol workout?
  • make a to-do list/ organize you calendar
  • do a easiest or the most enjoyable task off your to-do list

3. plan, plan and plan

your planner/bullet journal should be your best friend. plan those essays you got to write, that research paper you have to do, down to the time you need to go out for dinner with friends. Plan. Every. Single. Thing. I. Really. Mean. It.

+ and follow up with those plans!! you have already wasted a lot of time on planning, you hAVE to follow up with that planning, right?

4. wake up early

why?  waking up early gives you the time to do things slowly and carefully so that you get it perfect in one go and your life isn’t a complete disastrous mess.

how to wake up early? i got you.

5. have a healthy lifestyle

an example -

x wakes up at 7 am every morning, goes for a short run to wake herself up and comes back to have hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, slices of bread and a mug of steaming hot tea. she starts on her work after that, doing it without stressing about it. Then, after a nice hot bath and a delicious lunch, she goes out to a cafe to work on her online classes and to hang out with her friends. coming back home, she does a quick workout, takes a shower and heads off to make dinner. Having an early dinner, she spends the remaining few hours relaxing, drafting blog posts and spending time with her dog. at 10 pm everyday, she heads off to her bed, looking forward to a glorious tomorrow.

..sounds like a fairy-tale, right? you can definitely live it though.

In general, your day should have the following stuff  -

  • ‌sufficient hours of work using which you can get all your work done
  • ‌a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner (yep, no skipping meals)
  • ‌a workout, generally of 15 - 30 minutes at the least
  • ‌interaction with people, like hanging out with friends or family
  • ‌sufficient sleep and resting time (preferably 8 hours of sleep)
  • ‌a fixed routine consisting of you waking and sleeping at fixed time
  • ‌a ‘me’ time at some point of the day where you don’t worry about work or anything and focus on relaxing after a long day.

6. believing that coffee sucks

why? its basically a drug and if you need three cups of it just to get started on work, you’re going to have a really hard time during finals.

Instead, get enough sleep so that you have enough energy to study without being a coffee addict. or you can even swap coffee for water. (hey, you’ll be more hydrated!)
side note - a cup of coffee per day is okay though. I love coffee too and I totally feel you but don’t overdose on it, okay love?

some extra things to know about -

  • ‌have a companion to keep you accountable at the start.
  • ‌do have a laid-back day once in a while, you’re human after all.
  • balance work and play. reward yourself for shit done.
  • keep track of your spending, earnings, investments, etc.
  • stop being a perfectionist. seriously, you dont need to rewrite all those notes, trust me (comes from a was-a-perfectionist-kind-of-still-am-but-trying-not-to-be perfectionist)
  • ‌don’t stress yourself out. getting your shit together is a journey and not a result.
  • remember, change will come. yes, it will; but only if you take action. start now.

also, on a side note - and this might seem very ironic, but sometimes you don’t have to have your shit together. life is always a mess and trust me when I say this, no one - yes no one - has their shit together and sometimes it’s worth it to lead a messy life and enjoy it without having any fixed rules and regulations like you would have if you wanted that perfect life. enjoy the life you lead and stay wonderful, loves!


- ̗̀   the adulting 101 series   ̖́-        

part one : kicking a rut

go check out my other masterposts here and you can always send in a request for a masterpost as my ask box is always open!!

much love, Taylor  (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡

I like to think that Angus still does detective work after Story and Song. It seems like something he was really proud of, so I don’t think he’d give it up completely. Of course, he has so much else going on in his life now that he’s probably more selective with his cases - ones that need to be solved quickly, interesting ones, ones that have everyone else stumped, that kind of thing. And it’s usually not murder cases anymore, so it’s a much safer line of work.

Angus also now has an enviable list of consultants.

“Good morning, Taako! I had a question about a seasoning that I haven’t heard of before, but I thought you might be familiar with it? It’s called - what? It’s not… it’s not that early in the morning, it’s almost noon! …I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Thank you for calling me back, Magnus! I actually had a question about woodworking, specifically… oh? Yes, I remember the new puppies. Wait, really? You mean it? Thank you so much! I, I can’t keep a dog on campus, would it be okay if it stays with you?”

“Mavis, could you ask your dad if Pan worshippers are required to keep a garden? And if a garden of exclusively poisonous plants is acceptable? Oh, no, I have his number it’s just that he’s not answering again…”

“Good evening, Madame Lucretia! I, I was wondering, the view from the moon base lets you see the layout of Neverwinter pretty clearly, right? So, if a street wasn’t marked on any official maps, you’d still be able to see it from there, right? …yes ma’am, school is going very well. It’s not a dangerous case, I promise, and I’m being very careful.”

“Lup? I’m glad I caught you! I had a question, if you don’t mind, about explosives? Do you know how much magic power it would take to level a building, say, three stories high? …Lup? No, no you don’t have to test it! Please don’t actually blow up a building! That would be very bad!”

“Barry, I’m sorry I know this is very sudden but can you please stop Lup from doing whatever it is she’s about to do because I think it might involve blowing up a building and now she won’t answer her stone?”

“Kravitz? I know this is a strange question, but how can you tell a real skeleton from a fake one? …um, thank you for that, but I don’t really want to get that close. It has a sword. And I guess I should have mentioned this first, but it’s actually swinging that sword at me right now? I… would appreciate some help, yes, thank you.”

The actual helpfulness of these consultants is sometimes questionable.

Secretly dating Steve Rogers:

Originally posted by imultifandomstuff

Some NSFW content below

• You are dating Steve for about six months now and you are part of the staff working for the Avengers in the new compound.
• You keep this relationship a secret because the super soldier is technically your boss and you both want to stay very professional, avoiding some delicate situations.
• You both try to keep a straight face when you see each other at work.
• Him actually swearing like a sailor. Basically, he’s always been the one who swears too much in the team and you like teasing him about it.
• Steve calling you ‘Agent’ and you, calling him 'Captain’. Sometimes, your tone may sound very suggestive to his ears, so you cough and walk away.
• At this moment, your boyfriend excuses himself and joins you casually…
• Quickies ensue everywhere: restroom, office, gym… and Quinjet. Everywhere.
• Passionate sex.
• Quiet sex. You’re still trying to not moan, though.
• You both stop yourselves from kissing when you are in the same room as your coworkers.
• Sweet pecks when nobody is around like he can’t help it.
• Slapping or groping his butt when you walk past him.
 - “Nice ass, Captain.”
• Steve trying to keep his composure when he sees you biting your lip as you work.
• You always spend too much time in the training room because your boyfriend working out is a real beautiful sight offered by the heavens. He isn’t a walking pair of muscles, though.
• Spending secret moments on the roofs when you are sure you would have peace:
 - “This is beautiful.”
 - “The sky isn’t as beautiful as you are.”
 - “Aww, Steve.”
 - “Stop laughing!”
• Making out!
• Begging Steve to bring the stealth suit at home.
• Feeling like you are hiding your boyfriend from your over protective parents and that makes you giggle all the time, which he thinks is the most adorable sound in the world.
• You, playing footsie and you know exactly when you have to.
• Him surpassing the urge of punching Tony when he sees him flirting with you. Let’s be honest, that’s in Tony’s nature, so it’s harmless. Nothing serious.
• Staying away from each other during the billionaire’s fancy parties, yet when everyone is very drunk enough, you stay glued to Steve and just act like a normal couple: laughing, kissing and holding hands.
• The first time he said: I love you was simply whispered softly in your ear, just as he was passing by the same hallway.
• At this moment, you dropped every paper you had in hands and rushed to join him casually…
• Lots of makeup to cover up the hickeys and other love bites.
• Putting on your best unemotional face when you see him coming back from a mission exhausted or injured.
 - “I’m fine, Y/N. Get back to work; I’ll be there when you come home.”
 - “Are you sure?”
 - “Yes. Now, go before I have to suspend you for flirting with a superior.”
 - “Oh, yeah?”
• Sharing an apartment outside the compound, but you obviously keep your previous address in your records.
• The team actually knows about your secret since the beginning, but they decide to act like they don’t know because you two are pathetically funny to watch.


PERMANENT TAG LIST:
@feelmyroarrrr @gallifreyansass @defendors @ballerinafairyprincess @misschrisevans @always-an-evans-addict @kennadance14 @buckybarnesisalittleshit @helloitscrowley @captainamerica-ce @kiwi71281 @topthis808 @dead-lee-15 @the-daydreamer-girl @our-love-world @hellomissmabel @voidobsession @mrssierrarogers @redstarstan @punkrockhippiefromthefourties @angryschnauzer @fangirling-is-what-i-do-best @minstrell-axx @captainamerotica @kaitlynthehuman @juneookami @mellifluous-melodramas - tell me if you’d like to be added. :)

100 Scurvy Pirate Prompts

Me amigos, ‘tis be ye cap'n @promptguy. Thank ye fer all th’ submissions. I translated some to be more scurvy pirate. 'tis might be th’ best list so far.

  1. “Which lovely booty ye be eyein’? th’ curvy wench’s or th’ shit-barnacles ye can’t spy wit’ ye eye in yon chest?”
  2. “oh me god! th’ boat be leakin’!” “No, that’s just bilge rum”
  3. Scribe 'bout a scurvy pirate that be scared 'o th’ ocean
  4. Ye discover that Prompt Guy be actually th’ Flyin’ Dutchman
  5. A pirate ship encounters sirens who use their song to lure them. th’ band 'o pirates give a go’ to escape but 'tis later revealed that th’ sirens don’t want sink them but join them
  6. 'tis ye first day on ship, 'n ye’re in learnin’. All th’ other members on board be experienced 'n professionals at their ship except 1. That one be ye “trainin’ laddie”… a child Jack Sparrow.
  7. “walk thee fuckin plank ye scallywag”
  8. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o a crew 'o Githyanki band 'o pirates, 'n ye be huntin’ ye quarry in th’ astral plane. th’ problem be, ye quarry consists 'o a ship full 'o illithids, or mind-flayers, who had previously enslaved ye kind wit’ their mental powers
  9. Ye got captured by band 'o pirates. be tellin’ a story on how ye end up becomin’ cap'n fer that scurvy pirate ship. Bonus points if ye scribe a way ye do it that dont murder anyone nor end up wit’ physical harm.
  10. Bin got a pair words fer ye scurvy dogs: “Shark Bait.”
  11. Poseidon, th’ God 'o th’ Sea, has chosen ye as his vessel. He whispers in ye mind, “by sea be th’ only way to travel.” ye embark on a journey, killin’ anybody who dares take an airplane or car.
  12. Ye’ve always thought that havin’ a peg leg’d be cool, but arh, the maintenaince yeh have to do to keep up yer cool appearance!
  13. “ye’re seriously makin’ me swim th’ plank again?!”
  14. A pirate cap'n goes on a mission to reclaim th’ pirate ship that was stolen from him 'n free his crew members from imprisonment
  15. Ye have traveled long 'n far in search 'o an infamous treasure that ye 'n ye crew have be searchin’ fer fer 16 years. Upon discoverin’ it, ye open th’ chest only to find a map leadin’ to another treasure. th’ value 'o friendship.
  16. They shout that treasures best be hidden on land. Yer cap'n be sayin’ they’re all lyin’. Yer cap'n be sayin’ th’ best place to be hidin’ treasure be in th’ heart 'o a storm.
  17. Ye ship be sunk, ye maties abandoned ye, but ye still have th’ gold… 'n spiced rum.
  18. Ye be kidnapped from ye home in th’ dead 'o nightfall 'n brought onto a ship wit’ a crew 'o 100 band 'o pirates. As ye look on in fear, they all bow below before ye. One 'o them introduces themselves as ye First Matey. ye be now their cap'n.
  19. Ye muster onboard a scurvy pirate ship, hopin’ to get some doubloons 'n th’ comradery ye sorely missed in th’ navy. But turns out th’ ship ye ended up on has a secret ye would never have guessed…
  20. A forbidden lust story between a sea cap'n 'n a siren he meets at sea.
  21. Ye’ve always wanted to be a scurvy pirate. ye even got ye chance when a fleet 'o them attacked ye town. th’ problem? ye’re a 'land-lubber’ 'n 'tis isn’t a nice world. ye’ll have to prove ye can handle bein’ a scurvy pirate just to make it out 'o th’ brig
  22. Ye’ve just taken control 'o a merchant ship only to find that th’ entire crew be more scared 'o th’ 4 year barnacle-covered girly offsprin’ 'o th’ wealthy tradesman ye’ve locked away. When she smiles, ye spy wit’ ye eye storms in her eyes - 'n then she laughs…
  23. Ye find a cursed treasure. When a piece 'o gold be spent it disappears. How do ye spend ye loot.
  24. “No women allowed on board!” says th’ cap'n. He finds out, one by one, that every member 'o his crew be a woman wit’ a fake beard.
  25. That scurvy scalawag Blackhearted Benton just stole yer ship wit’ all yer lovely booty! GET IT BACK!
  26. “Stop playin’ yer dratted cello, matey, 'n help me sword fight off Blackbeard!”
  27. Ye be th’ first astronaut to be sent to explore th’ galaxy. Suddenly, ye re stopped by space band 'o pirates, 'n be forced to choose between roamin’ aimlessly forever or joinin’ their crew.
  28. Ye got into th’ piratin’ business fer one reason - so ye can afford a ship in Malibu.
  29. “Remind me; if women be bad luck, why do we have a female cap'n?”
  30. Mermaid band 'o pirates. They find new islands 'n take down their enemies wit’ th’ help 'o sea creatures. Their ship be called “Poseidon”
  31. Band 'o pirates that set out to be villains accidentally return as jolly guys by screwin’ plans up
  32. Ye be a feared scurvy pirate who can control all th’ monsters roamin’ th’ seven seas, however ye worst enemy can control th’ oceans themselves.
  33. tell an entire tale in pirate talk, me hearty…
  34. Ye character just got accepted into MIT 'n be sailin’ towards th’ “scurvy pirate Certificate” (pistols, riflery, rowin’, fencin’.) wee do they be knowin’ that these courses be taught by actual band 'o pirates.
  35. An underground illegal racin’ rig has be started that involves scurvy pirate ships battlin’ though a rum track in a Need fer Speed style wit’ steampower-ups included
  36. Ye awaken on a scurvy pirate ship, last thin’ ye remember before 'tis was shoutin’ to a guy in th’ tavern at port. th’ cap'n had bought ye 'n ye be now sailin’ on th’ ship, what happens while ye be at sea?
  37. “HAND ME THAT MAP OR SO HELP ME I’LL CUT IT OFF YA HANDS!”
  38. You turn on the Pirate Speak in Minecraft under language options as a joke, but then ye start findin’ that yer land lubber mates in reality arrrre beginnin’ ta talk like ol’ sea dogs, and even tha signs ‘round yer town turn inta Pirate Speak. Soon a squaky bird takes to perchin’ on yer shoulder. Tha townsfolk begin ta ask fer yer okay on things o’ trivial matter. Yer first mate, who lost 'is leg years ago ta scurvy, suddenly had a peg 'stead of a prosthetic. Congrats, matey– yer tha cap'n of tha town
  39. “Arrrr! the hour to loot EA 'o their precious Sims lovely booty!!”
  40. 'tis not uncommon fer a scurvy pirate to loose a hand or a foot on his travels. ye 'n ye crew dig up a chest full 'o hands 'n feet.
  41. Ye swore on a loved one’s grave that ye would someday sail to th’ legendary Grand Arcada, an ocean which none have ever found. this day, ye awoke to find ye ship stolen from ye - 'n th’ strange people seem to be changin’ ye course…
  42. A pirate loses his scurvy pirate accent 'n has to go find a different ship because they don’t fit in anymore.
  43. Ye find an ancient treasure map, 'n indeed, under th’ “X” thar’s buried treasure. But what’s under th’ “Y” 'n “Z”?
  44. Ye cap'n has caught a deadly disease, 'n be on th’ verge 'o Davy Jones’ treasure chest. ye 'n ye crew decide to pull one last raid wit’ them. th’ big one.
  45. Th’ band 'o pirates 'n th’ vampires have come to together to stop th’ ultimate evil. How do ye defend yourself?
  46. Cap'n Gus has a secret, his magic beard grows more wild 'n tangled wit’ every wind it ensnares. Cuttin’ a hair causes a mild breeze, a lock 'o his beard unleashes a strong wind. Now, captured 'n condemned to execution, he asks if he could shave
  47. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o th’ most infamous scurvy pirate ship on th’ seven seven seas, ye 'n ye crew have be through pretty much everythin’ together. Currently ye be on th’ hunt fer mer-people, they fetch high prices on th’ black market fer their beauty. What ye crew dont be knowin’ however be that ye be a mer-person 'n ye 'n ye kind only have tails when ye peglegs get wet.ye’re in th’ middle 'o a bath in ye quarters when ye first matey bustles in to speak to ye 'bout th’ ship’s course.
  48. Ye be a notorious scurvy pirate. ye’ve always be able to outrun th’ navy, but 'tis the hour they’re gainin’ on ye. ye agree to make a deal wit’ one 'o th’ lesser captains. What do they shout to ye?
  49. Arr, ye main character be kidnapped by a scurvy pirate at sea! It turns out th’ sea isn’t what it seems to be when he throws ye overboard to die….
  50. Ye cap'n has be noticeably feelin’ down, how does one scurvy pirate cheer up their cap'n back to their jolly self?
  51. What do ye do wit’ a drunken sailer?
  52. Ye’re a pirate who’s totally new to th’ business 'o stealin’ treasure from authoritative figures 'n don’t really be knowin’ what ye’re doin’. Suddenly, a dragon shows up 'n offers to tutor ye in piracy. What next?
  53. “What be land? I have forgotten.”
  54. Ye’re an undercover employee 'o th’ british government onboard a pirate ship on 'tis way to an uncharted island. ye mission be to find out what th’ band 'o pirates be goin’ thar fer.
  55. A pirate wit’ a rubber duck hand instead 'o a rusted hook
  56. Lesbian pirate flirtin’ wit’ sirens
  57. Ye were sent by th’ British government to spy on a notorious cap'n. ye join his crew 'n climb up th’ ranks 'til ye become his first matey. A few days before ye be to betray him, he tells ye a secret that changes everythin’. What be it?
  58. Th’ cap'n has gone missin’ overnight. ye, a mere chef, be th’ only one who can manage to control th’ crew. ye need to find whar ye cap'n has gone to.
  59. She was they best cap'n to sail th’ sea’s. She was Black Beard.
  60. Band 'o pirates be pillagin’ ye village, lookin’ fer somethin’. What they’re lookin’ fer be a wee unorthodox
  61. Th’ year be th’ far future, 'n space travel has be achieved. th’ human race has be denied entry into th’ galactic federations set up hundreds 'o years before their time. So, instead, we become space band 'o pirates. All 'o us.
  62. All ye pirates be sufferin from th’ evil scurvy, no matter how much citrus or undercooked meat they brin’ on th’ poop deck. they shout yer crews favoured wi th’ devil, but wee do they be knowin’ ye’ve just found th’ third cure to th’ scurvy
  63. “fer th’ last the time, don’t be puttin’ me tattered eyepatch in th’ dryer!”
  64. Ye look almost exactly like th’ female version 'o ye twin brother. Unfortunately, ye twin brother just so happens to be th’ notorious cap'n 'o a pirate crew. One day, he be killed, 'n th’ crew asks ye to pretend to be him so as to continue
  65. Th’ mermaid they pulled from th’ ocean turns out to be a jolly fighter. Maybe too jolly. Sh just killed th’ cap'n.
  66. Ye got scurvy. How ya gonna hide it from th’ cap'n?
  67. Ye pirate ship be stuck in 5 O'clock traffic. Somehow.
  68. Ye’re a stowaway on th’ dreaded cap'n LongBeard’s ship, tryin’ to find out whar he hides his treasure. Only problem be, ye’ve gotten caught sneakin’ around below deck.
  69. Ye’re th’ only jolly scurvy pirate in ye crew. ye’ve be tryin’ to keep it a secret, but then ye ship happens to sail past a group 'o sirens…
  70. Ye command one 'o th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ships in th’ seven seas. Just th’ mention 'o ye crew sends fear into th’ hearts 'o men 'n women. th’ only thin’ be, ye’ve never stepped foot on a boat.
  71. Ye’ve be travelin’ th’ seven seas fer a while now. Nothin’ can stand in ye way; ye 'n ye crew be unstoppable. 'til one thin’ crossed ye paths. What be that one thin’ 'n how do ye overcome it?
  72. Ye be th’ toughest scurvy pirate around. ye won many fights, pillaged many towns, 'n plundered dozens 'o ships. nothin’ could stand in ye way to riches, not even- oh god be that a baby on ye ship? who brought a baby?
  73. Ye be sailin’ th’ seven seven seas when yer lovely booty grows peglegs 'n starts swimmin’ off. How do ya catch a swimmin’ treasure hoard?
  74. Ye be a sea cap'n. Suddenly, ye ship lifts into th’ air. ye’re bein’ raided by sky band 'o pirates!
  75. Due to men believin’ eatin’ fruit was too feminine, th’ seven seas be now ruled by female band 'o pirates who beat their weakened males counterparts. Now, ye’re at a parrrty drinkin’ ornge spiced juice wit’ th’ victors.
  76. All ye pirates knows only women be sailors. Can ye think 'o anythin’ more unlucky than to have a scurvy dog onboard a ship? Still, rumour has it that th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ship 'o them all has a only-male crew.
  77. Ye meet Sodomy McScurvyLegs 'n buy a fitness regime. It opens up a whole new seven seas fer ye, an endless sea 'o knowledge… 'bout lovely booty.
  78. Turns out 'tis eyepatch be cursed to ne'er come off! Too bad ye put it on t’ wrong eye!
  79. Yrr secret island has been made into a parking lot and is overrun by scurvy lawyers while you were pirating. How do you fight lawyers? Your treasure is under that asphalt.
  80. Th’ cap'n 'o a magical sailin’ pirate ship takes several orphans under her proverbial win’s as new crew members
  81. “I lost m'hand to a shark, but I lost me eye to…”
  82. A rollickin’ scurvy pirate adventure from th’ point 'o view 'o th’ ship’s sea monster: th’ cat
  83. A classic pirate adventure wit’ a cursed object. Part 'o th’ curse be that th’ scurvy pirate cap'n 'n crew can never leave th’ ship 'n must come up wit’ creative ways to plunder, pillage, 'n eventually break th’ curse.
  84. Cuddle band 'o pirates- th’ fluffiest, snuggliest scurvy pirate crew ye can imagine, inexplicably survivin’ through skill 'n pluck in a grimdark hyper-edgy universe, rebellin’ against th’ grim 'n gritty status quo wit’ unflinchin’ optimism 'n hugs.
  85. “How th’ muck did ye get onto me ship 'n why be ye naked”
  86. “So ye meanin’ to be tellin’ me th’ map, which ye bought off a street vendor at Ivery Island, be an authentic map that leads to a literal buried treasure. scurvy dog, speak 'bout cliche.”
  87. Ye be highly disappointed when ye discover that th’ famous deadly 'Kraken’ be actually just a nutcracker.
  88. Two pirates travel th’ seven seas lookin’ fer lovely booty, but it turns out all they really want be each others lovely booty
  89. Ye finally come home from a year at sea 'n have to explain to ye main wench how ye got syphillis
  90. A scurvy pirate find th’ greatest treasure to be had: an island covered in lovely booty.
  91. Ye’re a pirate explorin’ uncharted waters when suddenly a giant hand made out 'o rum rises out 'o th’ ocean holdin’ a small baby wrapped in seaweed. th’ hand places th’ younglin’ on th’ deck 'o ye ship 'n disappears back into th’ depths. ye now have a child 'n a lot 'o questions.
  92. captains, greedy 'n tough 'n mean. But th’ strange thin’ 'bout him be that he wears a metal mask, 'n no one in th’ crew has ever seen him without it. One nightfall, ye resolve to spy wit’ ye eye th’ cap'n’s real face, so ye sneak into his cabin 'n sneak a peek 'o him sans mask. 'n what ye spy wit’ ye eye makes it clear to ye why ye cap'n would hide his face.
  93. Perhaps givin’ band 'o pirates Google Maps wasn’t th’..best idea
  94. Ye somehow became a pirate cap'n. One problem - ye be knowin’ nothin’ 'bout navigation…or ships…or fightin’ in general. But ye look well in a pirate coat 'n a hat, so thar be that.
  95. Ye’ve be captured by pirates, 'n thrown in th’ brig. th’ cap'n’s trusty parrot flies in, 'n says he can help ye escape.
  96. “Matey, yer lovely booty be th’ only one I be diggin’ fer t'night.”
  97. Ye’ve found pirate treasure by sheer dumb luck, but now th’ ghost 'o th’ lady pirate it belonged to be hauntin’ ye. 'n if that wasn’t that be all you can take, she’s got a crush on ye.
  98. Yer on a boat when suddenely yer First Mate throws 'imself over with no apparent reason. You dive in after him and find a grotto. What’s beyond it?
  99. Ye be that one guy on th’ ship that can swim. Somethin’ has jammed th’ rudder, stoppin’ th’ ship from makin’ it to port.
  100. Pretend ye’re a pirate 'n ye’ve just buried ye treasure. Draw a map 'n scribe below detailed instructions on how to find it again.

What prompt do ye like th’ most? Reblog if ye be a true scurvy pirate.

So, the campaign I’m writing and DMing currently is a homebrew about five magic users (they’re multi-classed now, so it’s less weird) who are, essentially, an anomaly containment unit. They’re fantasy Ghostbusters, p much.

Now, the premise was written before Gravity Falls introduced Ford and that whole deal, but basically, there was a portal that was leaking magic and monsters from their high fantasy world into what is, essentially, our modern day world, and it was their job to round them up and stop it.

It’s a hacky premise for a book, but a super fun fucking game to write and watch unfold.

Okay, exposition over, here are some of my favourite things I’ve forced my friends to endure:

• Hunting “Bigfoot”, who was actually a Bugbear that escaped their dimension.
• Rescuing a dragonborn prince who was being held at Area 51 by agents who thought he was an alien/reptilian Illuminati leader.
• Encountering actual aliens who gave them the technology to maintain their human disguises in exchange for their help escaping the base. (AKA, everyone complained that I made them burn spell slots on it.)
• Fighting a necromancer who ran a tourist trap that featured a petting zoo with “real life jackalopes and Fiji mermaids” made from reanimated roadkill, plus a nasty, horrible, rotting roadkill monster bossfight.
• Rescuing a tiefling who was being tortured by a deep south priest/cult leader who put her on display in an underground, evangelical sideshow. (Heavily inspired by Hellboy and the Angelville stuff in Preacher? Uhhhhhh, yes. Don’t call me out.) The Jersey Devil is actually just her wife, by the way.
• The Squonk is their companion now and they love him. No fantasy stuff. Just the actual, lumberjack lore ass Squonk, who is real and their friend and cried enough to help them put out literal hellfire.
• Zombie fight in the Monroeville Mall because I couldn’t resist.
• Confederate liches responsible for the “ghost sightings” at Gettysburg.
• Literally too much dumb shit to list. I am having so much fun trying to cram this bullshit into an actual, playable, rules-adhering D&D campaign, and I want to tell you more, but my players follow me.

Six werewolves

1. Really you only have mild lycanthropy and it’s largely under control with medication, plus the light pollution in your area is so bad you can hardly see the moon anyway. So you’ve changed maybe twice since diagnosis. No big deal. You have an emergency kennel. Lacking the usual outlet, your lycanthropy mainly manifests as an intense emotional reaction to dogs being told that they are good dogs, which never fails to make you sob.

2. You know, you should really have thought it through beforehand. It was careless. But there was a part of you that longed to be the first werewolf on the moon. And it was such an honour to be accepted into the space program! You never actually meant to get into the rocket, in the end. It just sort of happened. Now you’re half-way there and pretty sure there’s going to be a problem. Oops.

3. So your wolf form is fairly petite and scrubs up well and long story short with a prosthetic or two you’re now in the final of the dog agility contest and you might be able to win half of a rather fetching sofa. It’d be better if it were on a full moon, but you’ve got a bunch of moon videos to watch and you’re pretty hopeful that might work.

4. You spend each full moon locked away in a comfortable basement. You’re not sure if you’ve ever turned into a wolf but you do like rare steak so best to be on the safe side. You have a lot of books. You’re kind of looking forward to it.

5. You grew up with dogs. It’s not your fault. I mean, that’s kind of how you got bitten in the first place. Anyway, the rampage was going so well until someone threw a stick. Now you think the villagers might be mocking you, but also you just need to catch this one, you can totally do it, oh yes! Who’s a good girl?

6. You don’t actually turn into a wolf. You’re just the sort of person who feels very deeply about things and also has a mysterious and regrettable past. The wolf thing is a metaphor. You’re wishing you hadn’t adopted it now, though. These things get out of hand. Last night you metaphorically tore out the throats of two innocent bystanders, before metaphorically unleashing a bloodcurdling howl as you metaphorically slunk into the forest. You think you might also have metaphorically peed on a fire hydrant.

If you don’t have BPD read this

I’m so tired of the stigma associated with BPD. (Borderline personality disorder) it makes me angry when I see the judgment of it from people who don’t have it.


Borderlines are not all the same. This is not a one size fits all illness. Not everyone is going to have exactly the same symptoms. We are all different. So when people without it, “diagnose” and think you don’t have it because you’re not doing this symptom or that symptom is irritating. Unless you’re a doctor I don’t believe in your “diagnosis”.


Not all borderlines are monsters. Again, NOT all borderlines are monsters. Every time I hear how we are narcissistic (no sweetie that’s a separate disorder get your disorders straight), violent, manipulative, attention-seeking, abusive, dramatic, etc. the list can go on of judgments. We aren’t all monsters okay? A lot of us are actually kind, loving people. That’s part of why we have episodes. The end result is always us wanting to die. It’s never how we think you should die. We always take blame for everything. Even if a borderline doesn’t tell you that out loud it’s true.


BPD is not like bipolar disorder. Yes, it’s similar but it’s also very different. Bipolar is a chemical imbalance that you can balance out with medication. BPD is not. Bipolar mood swings are spaced apart typically by weeks or months or days borderlines have mood swings that severe within minutes. And it’s in the genetic makeup of our brain. You can only truly treat it with DBT therapy and even then it never truly goes away.


You don’t need to be admitted to a mental asylum if you have BPD. DO NOT say someone with BPD is crazy or psycho or anything like that. If the person with BPD says it about themselves that’s one thing. If you say that to a borderline you’re going to set them off. Also be aware that what a borderline says while they have a mental breakdown is not always true. When we have our episodes and are upset, we say a lot irrational things.


FINALLY, best for last. What is it like to have BPD? It feels like you’re drowning. All the time. You can’t even trust yourself because you’re constantly having this battle in your head between you and the disorder. You have literally no or very little control over your emotions. And that’s not just an opinion, a doctor will tell you that as well. It feels like you have a separate personality that is evil and bad and horrible and you have no control over it. Hence why it’s a PERSONALITY disorder. Or you feel like you have no personality and you can’t ever figure out who you want to be. So you’re constantly in a never ending search of who you are and it’s exhausting. Oh, and here’s a really important tip. Don’t slut shame a borderline. The high sex drive is literally part of the disorder and is classified as a symptom. Don’t be a judgmental prude about it. The borderline is already aware of it and feels bad enough about it.

End the stigma. Raise awareness, not the suicide rate.

Actual legitimate things that could(should) have been explored this season at Winterfell:

1) Sansa transitioning to being back in the castle that yes, is her home, but also is a site of deep trauma for her
2) Bran struggling to carry the weight of having all this knowledge on his shoulders, and having Meera around for longer to continue helping him with that, as she alone understands it
3) The Stark siblings drawing on their joint experiences, and the Stark mentality of ‘the pack survives’, in order to rule Winterfell whilst Jon is gone
4) Arya actually dealing with the trauma she has been through, and letting go of the list of names which she has long used as a coping mechanism
5) Arya bonding with Ghost, as a reminder he is still there, and of Arya’s connections with direwolves
6) How all the lords are pulling together to fight the Long Night - no, I don’t mean just carrying grain to Winterfell. *insert here training sessions of numerous houses in the Winterfell walls*
7) Bran and Arya bonding over how both of them have been through something which required them to let go of their identity, and the struggle of trying to hold onto themselves after all of that
8) The Stark siblings being very smart and knowing Littlefinger is up to something
9) Littlefinger also being very smart, and knowing he has to cover his tracks as opposed to being Mr Obvious with everything
10) Brienne! Training! The! Starks!
11) The Stark siblings adjusting to a life in Winterfell without Catelyn and Ned - don’t just throw in the statue of Ned and have that be the only sign they miss them
12) Arya and Sansa having legitimate deep issues to sort out, as confirmed by GRRM, and after their past experiences and trauma them actually accepting both have been through a lot and trying to pull together now winter is here

What D&D did:

“Lol Winterfell’s pretty boring LET’S CREATE STARKBOWL OUT OF NOWHERE”

anonymous asked:

Twice. really sad. someone who never met Taylor could be in your place. I don't blame you bc if Taylor called me to meet her again I would say Yes immediately, but still a pitty

so considering i had a few messages saying ‘you have hate coming your way’ but really only extremely sweet things in my inbox, ill address this just to get it out of the way so i can continue to love the evening i just spent with an amazing person.

  • i was DMed thursday (which apparently was when everyone else got their actual calls so i know i was last on the list)
  • i notified TN that i had already met taylor
  • I TOLD THEM I MET HER AND I EMBRACED THE FACT THAT THIS MEANT I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ATTEND AND I WAS OKAY WITH THAT BECAUSE FOR THE EXACT REASON YOU MENTIONED, THAT LEFT ROOM FOR SOMEONE ELSE WHO HADNT MET HER
  • on my phone call that i received literally the late morning before, they clarified that i had already met her, once again, and continued to tell me that i was invited regardless.
  • i was even planning on bringing @finallyyyclean with me because she hasnt met her and missed the opportunity to meet her in Rhode Island but unfortunately +1s were not allowed
  • when i arrived, i was informed once again that they knew i met her already but that taylor herself really wanted me there. TAYLOR DID. 
    • i wasnt even supposed to be there
    • i wasnt going to just reject the invitation because she wanted me to come and i was an extra person anyway so me not going wouldnt have made a difference, it wouldve been the amount they planned on.

so if you’re done making me out to be this demonically selfish person with no consideration for other’s experiences, i wish you the absolute best and i hope you enjoy this album because it really is SPECTACULAR! i personally believe it’s her BEST and i hope you agree! xx

The New Sugar List: 47 Songs to Inspire You

I created the sugar list out of need. I needed to songs to get ready to, to boost my confidence to, to remember why I had decided to go pro in the first place. Once I started the list, I found myself listening to and discovering new songs to add to the list. It’s an ever growing monster that I hope you enjoy. There are some songs that would be perfect on this playlist that I avoided because I had exhausted their appeal to me and others because I didn’t like the artist or the message they were providing. This list is just a jumping off point. Tweak it to your hearts content. 

  1. Whatever You Like- T.I.- Perhaps one of the first songs I ever heard that talked about sugaring. It’s still a dream. A man that will look me in the eye and say I can have whatever I like? Please, sugar gods, please. 
  2. 6 Inch- Beyonce- Walk in the club like nobody’s business….
  3. Pay Me- Miguel- …and tell them to pay you. 
  4. Normally I Get It-Lola Wolf- This song is SO me as a newbie. Improvising, taking advice I should have ignored, wondering how it all went wrong. It’s an excellent reminder of how far I’ve come and an opportunity to laugh at the past. 
  5. Lemme Get That- Rihanna- Her Excellency appears on this list five or six times. There’s a reason for that. This song in particular has always warmed my heart. There was a time when I was breaking up and making up over furniture.
  6. Bandz a Make Her Dance- Juicy J- Because, yes, bandz will make me do things that I wouldn’t do otherwise. Like pay attention to you. 
  7. Can’t Tell Me Nothing- Kanye West- This is my reminder that I’m not sugaring for accessories. I’m trying to better myself. To get certain things that will advance me towards my goal. To build a business that will get my money so right, I’ll only have men around for giggles. 
  8. Money Make Her Smile- Bruno Mars- Well, this isn’t a lie. 
  9. Work B**ch- Britney Spears- It’s my alarm to get up in the morning. It’s my reminder that this life isn’t easy
  10. Pour It Up- Rihanna- A reminder not to be afraid to get what I want. He could leave me tomorrow but I’ve still got these gifts and I know I can find someone to get me more.
  11. Glamorous- Fergie- If you aint got no money take your broke ass home. Thanks
  12. Maneater- Nelly Furtado- Because after some time spent fumbling, I’ve figured out what type of seducer I am. Men beware. 
  13. Raining Men- Rihanna- I could dwell on my failures or I could recognize that there’s more than one rich man out there and get another.
  14. Murder- Justin Timberlake- The self esteem boost I need when I can’t get my eyebrows right.
  15. Luxurious- Gwen Stefani- You worked so hard to get an SD and now you have. You worked so hard on your profile and gathered the courage to go on a POT date. Celebrate
  16. Love ‘Em All- K. Michelle- When my vanilla friends ask how I can go from man to man so quickly, this is the song that starts playing in my head
  17. Faithful- Drake- This song doesn’t really belong on this list but when I heard Amber Rose saying that she just liked really expensive shit, well I had to add it. 
  18. She Knows- Ne-Yo- I didn’t quite understand the concept of owning your sex appeal, of never apologizing for it. I get it now. 
  19. Throw Sum Mo- Rae Sremmurd- If you’ve got cash who or what should you be spending it on besides me? Throw some mo.
  20. Shawty is Da Sh*!- The- Dream- Yes, actually, I am. 
  21. All N My Grill- Missy Elliott- To the men who want to text and email and date the women they met on SD sites but don’t want to do the one thing that the site says they should be doing. Why aren’t they paying bills?
  22. She Wants to Move- N.E.R.D. - When it’s time for me to leave you, when it’s time for me to dance, you don’t need to come with me, daddy.
  23. Paper Planes- M.I.A. - All I want to do is take your money? Sounds accurate
  24. Got It- Marian Hill- My reminder that the things I have, the things I bring to the table can’t be bought or stolen by any man. There isn’t enough money in the world
  25. My Love is Like…Wo- Mya- This is not a lie. I will change your life. You will crawl back to me over and over again because of what I provided.
  26. Feeling Myself- Nicki Minaj- Because I am, I am feeling myself. It’s hard work but I’m successfully doing what I said I was going to do. 
  27. Bitch Better Have My Money- Rihanna- Does this honestly need an explanation? While I’ll never be posting allowance shots, I want what I was told I could have when I was told I would have it. 
  28. Plastic Bag- Drake & Future- I do deserve it, yes. 
  29. About the Money- T.I.- His second feature on this list and perhaps one of the more obvious songs. If it aint about the money, why are we speaking? What else could you possibly offer?
  30. Mascara- Jazmine Sullivan- Perhaps the song that speaks the most blatantly about life as a sugar baby on this list and the song that I think should be the sugar baby anthem, it’s a reminder to always stay well dressed, always stay ready for more. 
  31. The Boys- Nicki Minaj and Cassie- They’ll always spend money when they think there is love. 
  32. Guap- Big Sean- If you’ve ever gotten anon hate, dirty looks when you’re out in public, or patronizing conversations with friends that couldn’t begin to do what you do: I need you to blast this song. 
  33. Conceited (There’s Something About Remy)- Remy Ma- The attitude you need to have when they say you aren’t good enough and walk away, announce they don’t desire you, or try to lowball you. 
  34. Afford My Love-Dreezy-  The truth is, salty salts, you can’t afford me. This is not my problem.
  35. Money Over Love- Bilal- Money over love cause the best things in life aint free. 
  36. The Morning- The Weeknd- The money is the motive
  37. Spoiled- Wale- The song opens with Wale affectionately saying “with your spoiled ass”. I laughed. I am spoiled. Why shouldn’t I be?
  38. Anaconda- Nicki Minaj- A reminder that a man can want you for your body. Do you know what you want him for? Cause he buys you Balmain?
  39. Ex’s & Oh’s-Elle King- They always want to cum but they never want to leave (or pay).
  40. Sally-Bibi Bourelly- They don’t understand us. Hate, jealousy, and fear are better. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance. Let me see you rock little Sally.
  41. Back Up-Dej Loaf- Yeah, I made you feel good but…why are you blowing up my phone? Is there money? No? Back up off me. 
  42. Nun for Free-Zonnique- We don’t do nothing for free. Amen, amen.
  43. Nothing is Promised- Mike Will Made-It & Rihanna- You can lose it as quickly as you got it. Be smart
  44. Rich-K. Michelle- The only way to solve rich people problems? Get richer. Grind ladies
  45. Sex With Me- Rihanna- If I could play this song every time I’m asked if I’m a sexual person…the time I could save.
  46. No Scrubs-TLC- No explanation needed. They knew.
  47. Buy the World- Mike Will Made-It- What you think we out here hustling for? We’re just trying to buy the world and do the impossible.

What would you add to this list? Do you have any favorite songs that you get ready to take over the world (or a wallet) to?