(( you can ask about them if you want

PSA For AchievementHunter Fans

Please if your thinking about commenting on anything asking “Where’s Iris?” or “When will Iris be in a video?” or anything along those lines,
Be patient!!
A newborn child can’t just leave the house. They are EXTREMELY susceptible to illness and anything of the sort. If you really want to know, it will most likely be a few months. Iris needs to actually develop an immune system before she can go anywhere outside of a blanket in her parents arms. So please don’t bombard them with questions and stuff about wanting to see Iris, she’ll be walking before you know it I promise, I speak from experience, and you can see her run around the office then.

anonymous asked:

If we see someone posting your art on instagram do you want us to tell you who it is so you know about it? I've been asking them to take it down and some listen, but I can't report for copyright or anything if I'm not the owner of the work, I think.

Yes, it’s always good to know :) And no problem, you don’t have to fight for my art, don’t worry. I don’t want you or anyone else to stress over it! Always give credit and be a good example to others, that’s what’s most important ;)

anonymous asked:

While I was reading Brotherhood, even before I heard of ToY, I wanted to ask you about an episode from the boys' childhood memories. Then ToY arrived, but still... I kinda just wanted to know what would you imagine them doing as mischievous kids right now if you had to just think about it briefly... If you're unconfortable with this, please disregard my message. I just can't let that story go...

What do I imagine when thinking about them as kids, dear anon?

Ah, there’s so many things that come to mind right now that I feel like I need a whole night to just sit here and ramble, but I’ll try and be brief for now, haha~

Like spring days spent at the parks again now that the bad weather has cleared up, and they race around until their knees, elbows and socks are stained with chollorphyll. And of course, Jimmy’s dungarees are green all over because Tae decided to roll him down a hill for some god unknown reason (probably because he had convinced him that he would look cool) and Yoongz and Seokjin have to help him get leaf debris out of his nose and hair. Namz would probably be collecting bugs in jars and trying to make Hobie cry by shoving them in his face, and Kookie was probably eating the worms or something…

Like summers spent on Han River, splashing water at each other and eating little tubs of patbingsu that they managed to buy after scrounging their pocket money together. Seokjin would need to buy them because the others are too rowdy to get served. Yoongz would only eat a couple of bites so the kids can have more (because their puppy dog eyes are too much), and they would all dip their feet in the water and try and stay out as long as they could now that the sun goes down so late…until Kookie, who’s a tender baba of just six years old, falls asleep and needs to be piggybacked back home by Namz, who walks really slow to not drop him.

Like autumns spent wanting to camp out but not being able to because they’re in the capital, and so they have to use tiny home gardens instead. They would stay up all night and tell scary stories until Hobie cries and they have to move inside and nap on floor cushions instead; but that’s fine because they actually like that more. Not because the ghosties won’t get them, but because floor cushions are great for pillow fights.

Like winters spent not going out because of the heavy snow and school studies, so the kids have to travel with parents or wait for the older boys to pick them up. They have to ride on the buses, which are toasty warm, and that means that they can’t do much with their pitiful pocket money, but Seokjin always has snacks prepared, Yoongz has his battered deck of cards and terribly rolled cigarettes, and Namz always has his funny stories to tell. Even when they don’t celebrate the holidays, you know that they would still do something together - like try and build a snowman bigger than Tae’s (which was totally cheating because he used a brick wall as a base), like make jokes about Santa not being real to Jimmy and then slipping candy into his shoes so that he starts crying because he’s so happy Santa /is/ real!

Then it all repeats again. Another year together, another year of growing up.

Wow, I’m emo now..

anonymous asked:

Just because someone likes someone doesn't make them a fetisher or weird. You love dinosaurs, if you send people asks asking their Pokemon to be drawn as dinosaurs can I say you have a dinosaur fetish? If you're uncomfortable with it just block or ignore... call out posting is really sketchy, especially when it's done so harshly.

You don’t have to believe me. That’s fully within you’re right! It’s healthy that people are wary about what information gets trendy. 

I want to say this first. I do not agree with the people saying “your fetish is gross”. I don’t care for fetishes in general but no one should be condemned by stuff they do privately. But if you involve others in it, it must be with consenting, of-age people who are aware of what they’re getting into. That’s the point. It’s not liking something that makes it bad. Like you said, I’m a paleonut. This is the issue: taking something that for the said person is a fetish, and using unaware people to meet those ends. If minors are involved, that’s even worse.

If I may, I want to point out the warning signs of someone who’s looking to get not their interest, but their fetish, gratified.

  • They target the unaware.
  • They almost always use anonymous.
  • They usually do not respond to people telling them to stop, or just move on to the next person without a word. I’ve seen it happen many times.
  • Many, MANY users responded telling them to stop. They didn’t. I can pull up posts going back several months ago of this person sending stuff in the daily/pokeask community. This is one example, dating back to last October. I think this is the biggest red flag. Typically if a lot of people respond to your request in an uncomfortable/hostile manner you’d stop yea? Not with this person. [People are more than welcome to comment on this post with a link if you’ve been sent a message from this person as further proof]
  • I understand that it’s an anon, but when they’re sent so frequently to the same community I’d say that’s enough proof to conclude it’s the same person.

Keep reading

helpidontknowhowtolife  asked:

Hey! I really like your askblog so far! Could you maybe do US, UF, SF, and UT bros reacting to their s/o crying and when they ask if the s/o is okay they just do finger guns (because they honestly don't know)??

oh my gosh, i would do this. its a great ask hun! im going to assume that someone made them upset, and they just let it out now if thats okay!))

uh, kid? oh geeze… he immediately tries to comfort you as best he can. First, hugs and cuddles and kisses. when he asks you whats wrong and you give him the guns? okay kid now he’s really worried, you are DEFINITELY not okay…he’s going to sooth you untill you finally stop crying, and if you dont want to talk about it that’s fine. He’ll make a lot of bad gun puns untill your tears are the happy kind.

DATEMATE WHATS GOING ON?! like his brother, he trys to comfort you, and makes you comfort spaghetti. When you give him you finger guns, he is super confused. arent you sad? why are you crying and doing this thing? once you stop he will wait for you to explain.

thats it. who the fuck made you cry?! whats wrong doll? finger guns wtf? he is angry and confused at the same time. he wants to comfort you, dust the guy who did this, and have you explain.

pretty much the same as Red, and he makes you lasanga for you to eat while he sends Red to fetch the latest addition to his tourture chamber…

DATEMATE DONT CRY! He cuddles you and asks whats wrong. finger guns and he is confused and scared. did he break you? he’s going to get Papy to check on you because hes scared for you. hes going to make tacos and a feel better cake. (if you tell him what happened he goes low-key yandere and leaves later while you’re asleep and kills the guy who made you cry))

oh no. what happened? he doesn’t know whats going on so he just kind of turns into an octopus and wraps himself around you. he fakes a smile when you do the guns, but he really just wants you happy again. he lets you bring up the subject later. hes not gonna pry.

okay he doesn’t know what to do. like, at all. he tries to ask you whats wrong and you just made it harder for him with the fingers. what the heck is he supposed to do with that?! eventually he just huffa and cuddles you untill you feel better, but demands an explanation later.

happy first, questions later. he becomes very protective of you, doing literally anything to make you happy again. you may not even get a chance for finger guns because youll be giggling so much. when hes sure you’re happy and relaxed, he’ll gently coax an explanation from you. cuddles all night for you, but mysteriously theres a news report of the guy being missing the next day…

oh geez this was a bit hard to write. but it was fun! see ya soon hun!~))

i-live-to-rule  asked:

Hi there😁I just wanted to say that I love your Harry Potter art and it really is amazing...but i noticed that you only draw canonish situations and ships (or I haven't scrolled down through your blog far enough)🙊 so I was wondering if you would be up to draw a drarry pair😁🌸 Obviously it's 100% chilled if you don't, I'm mostly asking because I love the way you draw Harry and I thought it would be cool to see them together in your style🙈 Anyway much love🌻

Yes, I am inspired by canon situations mostly! I receive many messages about Drarry, so if you want to see what I think of Drarry, you can read some asks here http://blvnk-art.tumblr.com/tagged/ask:%20drarry and see what I did about Harry and Draco here http://blvnk-art.tumblr.com/tagged/drarry

Thank you!

gI should have done that a loooong time ago, Thank you @nico-doctors-note-di-angelo, love you !

These are the rules: Rule 1: Always post the rules. Rule 2: Answer the questions that the person who tagged you asked you and write 11 new ones. Rule 3: Tag 11 people and link them to the post. Rule 4: Actually tell them you tagged them.

1-favourite TV show? Eer… Sherlock ?

2-favourite movie? Lord of the Rings (Extended version u.u)

3-first word? Gaga, my brother nickname

4-can you play any musical instruments? Piano!!! Some guitar too

5-day or night? Daaaayyyy

6-e-reader or book? Books

7-eye colour? Blue-Green

8-tea or coffee? Tea

9-apples or oranges? Apples

10-favourite thing about tumblr? The people. ( And I find everything I want on tumblr)

11-favourite food? Right now I would die for lasagna.

I tag @rasta-rebelfangirl007, @death-girl139, @ahiddennovel, @g00pchii

And my questions : 1- Sun or rain?

2- Favorite musical?

3- Favorite game?

4- Favorite book ?

5- Ever tried cosplay?

6- If yes , which character, if not, why?

7- What is the thing you really want right now?

8- What do you want to be in the futur ?

9- Something you really want to learn?

10- Dream oor reality ?

11- Favortie animal?

Imagine being with someone and they tell you that someone likes them.. and then you shake it off cause you’re not worried about that. Imagine the person you’re with saying that they may have feelings too and they want to go hang out with that person. They want to go hang out with the person who has a crush on them. Soo by then I’m like hmm… this just sprung up outta nowhere? Offfff course not. Anything or things could have led up to that person getting comfortable enough to ask the person you’re with out. Sigh, and you literally think I want to be your damn friend after that? He can have you, I ain’t fighting for shit. This the same girl that be on my case everytime I get tagged on something. The same person who’s on all my social media’s. Looking for comments I give or what someone else’s says. The same person that jumps to conclusions for everything. Naah, I did nothing wrong and I fight for no one. Fuck outta here.

anonymous asked:

hi, i kinda have a question about qprs? im so happy i found out about them bc ive like, loved particular people in the same way i would love a romantic partner, but in a not romantic way,, you know? but ive also fallen in love with other people romantically and want romantic relationships too. can you be in a qpr and a romantic relationship at the same time? sorry if this is a bad question

That’s not a bad question at all, and yes you can! I’ve seen people able to balance a romantic relationship, and honestly it seems impressive to me. That’s a lot of love to give, but if people can do it, I’m proud! 

The thing is, it’s always necessary to have notified both parties in the situation. It’s important to approach it gently, and make sure to inform them both that this ISN’T a polyamorous-type situation. QPRs and romantic relationships are two totally different things, however I do feel that in a way you can sort of…make a QPR more romance-esque, or make a romantic relationship more platonic-esque. It’s kind of a weird grey area I can’t really explain, it’s just something you feel.

If your partners aren’t famiiar with the idea of QPRs, or don’t know each other, this could be a lot tougher to initiate. Just try to introduce it slowly, and if you need help, feel free to ask for it here!

anonymous asked:

So time to send my own headcAnon for once. (I think you might know who this is, at least I hope so lolol) Well, let's say Stanley and the Bimbettes really are siblings, like him being about two years older than the triplets. When they were kids, they used to have tea parties all the time. And one day, Lefou noticed them in the park having a tea party and asked them to join. While the three Bimbettes didn't want it, Stanley was MORE THAN GLAD to have another boy that likes tea parties and.. [1/2]

so the part two never came, might as well post this, im bored and wanna talk about stanfou ok (sorry for my terrible english) ((if this ask wasn’t meant to be send to this blog and you want it remove please tell me, i’ll delete this reply immediately))

omg stanley would totally had tea party as a kid, can you imagine them both play pretend and stanley as a mom-role and lefou as dad, with the girls as their daughter, i need this aaHH

but btw i really love the headcanon that stanley and the girls are siblings, and tom/dick as brother figures

to match with hc that after movie lefou got adopted by ended up being close to  ppl in castle (hint the potts for examplesss)

so lefou would just having this big group of people that love and support him 

also imagine the gathering day or when they break the news about engagement to everyone

@ the anon who asked if I was still alive

Thank you for asking about me lol yes I’m still alive, just super busy and with no conditions to write atm.
You guys can send asks and requests (they will close once May ends!) and I’ll answer whenever I have access to my desktop (my data on mobile is limited).
If you want, you can tag me in photos, memes or such (specially if you’re talking about my 368 biases) in @kpopthirstaddicted (tumblr app doesn’t let me answer them right away, idk what is happening - sometimes I can’t find the post people tagged me at, but once I’m on my computer I’ll check all the tags, alright?). But if it’s something smutty, then tag me here on SFA!
Thank you guys for still being around. Thank you for reading my stuff and waiting patiently for updates. My life is going through some changes and I appreciate you’re still here with me. Writing has been helping me cope and getting through a lot of stuff. Friendships I made here as well. Friends, mutuals, followers, you’re all very important to me.
Thank you. I have the absolute understanding that I’m very flawed and still need to improve. So if you’re still here despite that and you actually enjoy the things I write it means A LOT to me.
Thank you one more time. It might be a long confession, so thanks for listening. So, again, I’m alive lol!

  • Hufflepuff: I've planned out our day, and I think it's going to be a lot if fun!
  • Ravenclaw: I want to go to the aquarium.
  • Hufflepuff: That's not on my planner...
  • Ravenclaw: But I want to learn about the jellyfish and how they eat.
  • Hufflepuff: Maybe another day?
  • Ravenclaw: And you can pet the stingrays.
  • Hufflepuff: Okay, let's go pet some stingrays.
ipre memes

bc they were on the starblaster for 100 years come on

  • magnus: [points to any animal on any given planet] taako tell that motherfucker i want to fight him
  • honestly a bunch of jokes about taako, lup, and barry being disney princesses for talking to animals
    • barry: can you please help me clean this mess up?
      merle: why don’t you just ask your animal friends to help? gather up your woodland creatures–
  • merle is jesus
  • making up increasingly ludicrous stories and trying to get lucretia to actually write them down
    • magnus: you know, my real name is actually studly burninglove
      lucretia: [without looking up] you know what, magnus? i’ll do it. i will actually write that down. future generations will know you as studly. would that make you happy?
  • in that vein, davenport knew absolutely nothing about pop culture, so they keep making up celebrities and events and acting like they happened
    • they like. maintain it too. they have a whole canon of made-up pop culture.
    • taako: [something explodes] ugh this is just like when fantasy billy ray cyrus had his mid-90s breakdown
      davenport: isn’t it more like when fantasy kesha and fantasy bill nye had a cage match?
      lup: [completely straight-faced as magnus and taako try to smother their laughter] yes, cap’nport. exactly like that.
    • taako and lup almost managed to convince him that they were celebrity chefs until lucretia stepped in
  • [something goes wrong on the ship]
    anyone: greg fucking grimauldis
  • [points at anything] is that a bond
    • lup: am i made of bonds?
      barry: in a sense, yes. everything is.
      taako: are shadows?
      lup: are dreams?
  • barry and lup bullshitting scientific-sounding words whenever magnus or merle ask them a question
10 Tips For New Kpop Fans

1.) Find some underrated groups! Of course, there’s nothing wrong with loving the most popular groups such as EXO, BigBang, BTS, etc. I love them, too! But I have found my greatest loves in some of the smaller groups. They seem to have greater fan interaction, and not to mention, it’s just fun to watch them grow. There’s nothing better than finding a newly debuting group and watching them grow.

2.) Girl groups, girl groups, girl groups! While it’s easy to get caught up in the fever of loving boy groups, don’t be afraid to branch out and listen to some of the talented girl groups out there. Their concepts can range from adorable to powerful, with everything in between.

3.) Don’t forget about solo artists. And I don’t just mean the solo albums put out by members of existing groups! There’s Ailee, Crush, Zion.t, and so many more talented soloists. Not to mention, that makes it easier to pick a bias ;)

4.) Shipping is okay! But… don’t be rude about it. There are some idols that are uncomfortable being shipped with others, and don’t like to hear about it. Write all the fanfiction you want, run a blog about your otp, but don’t annoy the idols themselves. There’s nothing worse than seeing comments on SNS and livestreams asking if they are dating someone, or if the other member is there with them.

5.) Try not to over-sexualize them. Of course, we all get a little thirsty when it comes to the sexy concepts a group can have, but you have to keep it within reason. There is so much more to them than the subject matter of their songs or the way that they dance. There’s a fine line between enjoying a sexy concept and fetishizing their every move.

6.) Don’t start fan-wars or compare artists. There’s nothing worse to me than hearing someone say that their fav is better than someone else’s. Truthfully, each and every artist works so hard to get where they are, and we as a fandom need to recognize that. For example, I am not a fan of BTS, but I respect them and recognize that they work incredibly hard to do the things they do. They deserve every moment they have recieved in the spotlight. It’s okay to dislike someone, but don’t try to make it into a contest. We are all just here to listen to good music. :)

7.) It’s okay to be a casual fan. Not everyone needs to get swept up in the obsession over kpop. One can listen to the music without knowing a single member’s name and still be a kpop fan! If you want to run a blog and watch every interview and memorize blood types and heights, you can. But if you simply want to listen to a few songs every now and again, you’re still a fan. Welcome to the kpoppin’ world.

8.) Don’t be embarrassed! It’s easy to think you’re weird for liking kpop if you live in a small town like me, but in truth, you’re never alone. And even when you feel like the only one on the planet that likes it, you’re allowed to rock it. Wear your merch, listen to your music, and scroll through your blog in front of others. There’s nothing wrong with loving what you love. (If you are being bullied already for your interests, please reach out for help.)

9.) Whitewashing is a no-no. I love me a good kpop edit, and kudos to those who make them, but please do NOT whitewash them. Melanin is a good thing, and their natural skin is something they should be proud of. Some photos are posted by them already over exposed, but the edits are different. If you think their skin is too dark, perhaps you should choose a different picture to edit.

10.) Unless you are actively learning Korean, please do not use random Korean words while you are speaking. Not only is it slightly annoying, it’s offensive. If you don’t know or understand where it comes from, you just happen to know it, it’s disrespectful. If you are interested, there are many online courses you can take and apps you can download on ios for free to learn the language properly.

That is all I can think of! Enjoy your stay in this wild fandom. :)

anonymous asked:

Oh almighty napkin arm with googly eyes, I humble peregrin dare come forth with a request... could you make some character design breakdowns for some more realistic characters? Like your power ranger fanart? I tried to break them down on my own, but I'm not sure I did it that well... it's incredibly useful and interesting... Keep being awesome, and thanks for how you already helped me anyway!

Thanks for the patience, had to mull this one over. The more complex a design gets, the more difficult it is to break down. Basic character design tips may not be enough…so let’s delve into:

Character Design Tips Part 2!

Before we start, it’ll help to read my last character design post, where I laid out four concepts: shapes, silhouettes, colors, and inspiration. In this post, I aim to build on and rephrase these in a way that hopefully makes it easier to apply them. I’ll be drawing examples from my Power Rangers (2017) fanart to illustrate my points.


  • (Ideally, you should already be comfortable with drawing people. If not, look into figure drawing, gesture drawing, etc.)
  • (Whereas my previous tips were more tried and true, the tips here are more my own thoughts, so they may be half-formed.)
  • (Again, these are not rules. They’re just tips to add to your toolbox; the more tools you have, the more versatile you’ll become.)

Without further ado, let’s start!

Based off what we know about shapes, silhouettes, colors and inspiration, I want to cover: lines and angles, external and internal silhouettes, values, and references.

1. Shapes => Lines and Angles

Last time, I laid out three basic shapes:round, box, and triangle.

Problem: limiting yourself to these 3 shapes can be useful and fun for simpler designs, but they may be too simple or look out of place on more complex designs.

Solution: let’s go to the next level! Instead of shapes, shift your thinking to lines and angles!

Lines can be curved, straight, or diagonal.
Angles can range from obtuse to acute angles.
Follow your intuition: what feeling do you get from each line or angle?
If I follow my own intuition, I see that:

  • curved lines = natural, soft
  • straight lines = balanced, grounded
  • diagonal lines = off-balance, in motion
  • obtuse angles = broad, relaxed
  • right angles = rigid, unnatural
  • acute angles = slim, dynamic

If this sounds familiar, you’re right! It’s just the shapes all over again: 

  • curved lines make round shapes
  • straight lines with obtuse/right angles make boxy shapes
  • diagonal lines with acute angles make triangular shapes

But lo! Since we broke the shapes into their smaller components, it’s much more flexible! Now we can use lines and angles for more complex designs:

2. Silhouette => External and Internal Silhouettes

Last time, I explained the silhouette test: if you black out the figure, it should still be readable.

Problem: blacking out the figure only tests the outline of the design, i.e. the external silhouette. But what about the inside of the design?

Solution: block in the figure and test for the internal silhouette! 

If you want not just an interesting outline, but an interesting costume, block in the major components of your design to see if it has a readable internal silhouette. This test can help you avoid boring or cluttered costumes and makes your design stand out. If your internal silhouette is too empty, try adding props or designs. If it’s too busy, simplify it.

3. Colors => Values

Last time, I talked about the 60-30-10 and 70-30 rules for color.

Problem: those rules work on the assumption that you’re only using 2 to 3 colors. But what if I want to use more colors?

Solution: good news! The same idea applies if you split your palette into 3 major values: shadows, midtones, and highlights.

Balance your palette by converting your colors to grayscale and applying the 60-30-10 rule to the values. This is related to the idea of silhouettes; if you get a nice internal silhouette, you’ll probably end up with a nicely balanced set of palette values, and vice versa.

(Fun fact! You can split your palette in different ways. In a watercolor tutorial, Miyazaki splits the palette into bright, dark, black, green 1, green 2, blue 1, and blue 2.)

4. Inspiration => References

“Good artists copy, great artists steal!” -Picasso

Problem: Coming up with something 100% original is tedious and doesn’t always give great results. It saps the inspiration right out of you!

Solution: It’s a lot easier to steal ideas from references!

Note: don’t just copy, steal! Cherry-pick/massage the aspects of the reference you find the most appealing and work them into your design. Ditch anything that you don’t care about. Make it your own! Make it something you can put your own name on! Below is the reference image I used for my designs:

And below is my fanart:

That’s it for now! Thanks for reading! If you guys want to see any other topics, feel free to ask and I can try my hand at it.

If you want to see my previous character design tips, click here.
If you want to see the full-size Power Rangers fanart lineup, click here.
If you want to see other character designs I’ve done, click here.

Victuri Big Bang!

To our surprise the Yuri on Ice!!! fandom has been filled up with other ships recently. So we have deiced to create the Victuri Big Bang!

What is a big bang?

For those of you who have never heard of a big bang, here is what it is. A big bang is where artist and writers combine to create new content. Everything created will be posted around the same time, and that means lots of new content for the fandom to enjoy!

What will writers do?

Writers will write fanfiction about Victuri. 5,000 words is the minimum word count for the fanfiction. This means that the fanfiction can not be less than 5,000 words, but it can be longer!

What will artist do?

Artist will create a fan art of Victuri, of course. Only 1 fan art is required! However artists can create more than 1 fan art if they want to!

What we plan on doing.

We plan on pairing artists and writers together so there will be fan art that goes with a fanfiction. Artists and writers can work separately; this means that we will NOT pair you up with anyone and you are free to do your own thing!


If you think there’s a writer or artist who might be interested, please let them know about the event! Also, we ask that you please reblog this so more people will know about it! We will be posting more details about the event in the near future!

let dan and phil make money without complaining 2k17

Dean’s Plaid

Summary: You and Dean do NOT get along. Until the night that you do.

Warning: smut, anger sex

Word Count: 3200

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy some Dean smut! XOXO

There are two things in the world you really hate: plaid and Dean Winchester.

There are plenty of things that you don’t like, that irritate and annoy you, that you’d rather not deal with. But those are the only two things you actively hate. A store with a window display of plaid clothing is enough to get your blood boiling these days. And Dean? Well, you make sure you never think of Dean. That just tailspins your world into a mess of violent anger for days before it wears off.

So the fact that you are currently wearing one of Dean Winchester’s plaid shirts, listening to him hum along with the radio as he drives you to his motel?

Yeah. You’re gonna need something to kill.

Or you could just kill Dean.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

prompt: andreil + emergency room visit

(this is a sequel to THIS ‘I think there’s someone in the house’ fic!)

The paramedics hammer on the door, and Neil looks up, teary-eyed, from where his face is pressed into Andrew’s damp hair. He’s feeling for his breath with the back of his hand, waiting moment to moment for Andrew to die in his arms, silently like he does everything else. Urgency keeps stunning Neil all over again, hysterical defibrillators. The EMT’s are calling out through the wall, muffled but calm.

It feels unthinkably wrong, their absolute evenness and ease outside his door when his life is an exposed neck and Andrew’s death is the whirring blade of a saw.

He realizes that he has to get up to let them in, and it seems as impossible as it would be for Andrew to spring up and answer the door himself. He feverishly wants them to crumple the door to splinters and be inside already. 

It’s a herculean effort to ease Andrew to the ground, like he’s gritting his teeth and cutting off his own leg. He touches Andrew’s clammy face briefly but he can’t bring himself to try and slap him awake. He props Andrew’s bare feet up on the rim of the bath so the blood will flood towards his head, at least.

He feels untethered to his body when he stands, a helium balloon with its usual weight passed out on the bathroom floor. He falls into the wall immediately, adrenaline neck and neck with exhaustion.

He finds his way to the front door without his mind’s help. His head is in the bathroom with Andrew, and he knows that no matter what happens it’ll be there for a long, long time.

The next time he blinks, a man in uniform is holding his biceps and peering down at him seriously.

“—sir? Sir, are you hurt at all?”

“No,” Neil says, lips numb. “Bathroom. He’s in the bathroom. He’s bleeding to death.”

He turns, easily slipping the paramedic’s grip. There’s a procession of them, hefting a gurney and a couple of kits, and they’ve brought all the cold from outside in on their heels. They’re such a foreign object in their warm, messy apartment — uniformed, official, and precise.

It’s deadly, walking in and seeing Andrew spread out in his boxers, blood oozing through his t-shirt from his loose stitches, pale enough to match the porcelain. Neil’s seen enough corpses to recognize what they look like. 

He falls heavily to his knees and puts his head directly to his chest, listening, tears slipping hotly over the bridge of his nose.

“Please,” he slurs. His heartbeat is a tentative thud, a knock from an unexpected guest. “Help him. Now, help him now.”

“We’re going to try our best Sir, but you’ve got to get out of the way,” someone says gently.

He topples backwards onto his hands. It’s a cramped space, and he knows it would be easier if he waited outside, but he also knows he’d rather die than leave them alone with him.

The first guy kneels down and takes Andrew’s pulse, and Neil shakes his head. They’re too slow, time is feeding directly into a wide open drain.

“He needs an IV. He’s two litres down, at least. You’ve got to—“ A petite woman puts a hand on his shoulder and he shrugs her off violently. “No! You have to listen to me.”

“We know what we’re doing,” she says. “Are you an MD?” She eyes him doubtfully, gaze flitting from his scars to where her colleagues are taking vitals and cutting through Andrew’s clothes.

“Yes,” Neil says wildly. “And he needs an IV. Possibly two. Large-bore, normal saline. He’s not getting any oxygen, and he’s been like this for as long as it took you to gather your meager response team.”

She purses her lips, but she’s a professional. He can see her repressing her anger and it infuriates him. He feels like he’s crashing, over and over again, and he’s watching someone daintily pump the breaks.

“He’s right,” one of the EMT’s says distractedly. “We’re gonna need to get some fluids started, he’s in hypovolemic shock, sats below 50.”

“You want to tell me what happened?” one of the men asks.

“No,” Neil says as evenly as he can manage, reaching out to graze Andrew’s cold fingers.

“Did you do these stitches?” the woman asks, pulling at Andrew’s skin to get a better look at them. He suddenly sees how they must look to them, sloppy and angry red. Neil bends her arm away without thinking about it.

“Don’t touch him,” he snaps. He could break her arm and it would make him feel better. He drops her, disoriented by his own violence.

“There’s no need to be antagonistic,” the first man says. “We don’t want to have to remove you.”

“You really don’t,” Neil agrees. “You won’t succeed.”

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