'you can always find me in the drift'

  1. Set your priorities straight. As you’ve entered school, you know that your academics are basically one of your priorities, aside from your personal health. You are a student, after all. You should know that you should be making time for all the school work you’re supposed to be dealing with. If you’re having trouble with this, I suggest you write your priorities down, and rank them according to which one weighs the most. This will make you feel much more headstrong and goal-oriented.
  2. Use schedulers and planners. You’re human and it’s okay to forget things. Get digital with apps and programs or get traditional with notebooks and planners. Involve your planning with a combination of both. This really helps especially if you’ve created a system for remembering things more efficiently, eg. color-coding, bullet journaling, weekly overviews, having legends, etc., which leads us to the next point:
  3. Schedule in advance. Complete the difficult tasks, the easy tasks, the medium tasks. Do what you can. Set deadlines for yourself. If you’re fully aware that three weeks from now, you’ll have 3 exams in a day, start studying as early as possible. If you have to attend to an event and have an exam the day after, bring any study material with you. Do homework the day they’re given to you, especially if they’re fairly easy. If they need some research or data collection, make it a point that you do it after class or on the nearest weekend. Break the habit of doing something because a classmate has already started doing his/hers. Instead, do it for the motivation that you’ve set for yourself.
  4. Prevent causes of distraction. There are only 24 hours in a day, and a fraction of which we use for fulfilling our basic necessities. Utilize the remaining time for productivity. Delete social media apps if you have to, or turn off your internet. Better yet, turn off your phone and exchange phones with your roommate or your friend. Keep it. Forget about it for a moment. You can always leave your feed but it will never leave you. You can always return to it after you’ve done your work.
  5. Multi-task! I can never stress the importance of learning multi-tasking enough. Whenever I’m in a long meeting, I usually bring my laptop to review notes or write a paper. Of course, it would seem rude to some so it’s better if you would give them a heads-up. If I’m in a class I find easy and if the professor allows us to study or drift off, I usually study for other classes that I need more attention in. While I take showers, I discuss the exam material from my memory out loud. If you have to wait in line for some errand, bring a book. Sometimes while doing my night care routine, I would listen to audio recordings of my professor. Some of these examples may come off as rude or off-putting, I know. But that’s just me. You can always find other safer situations where you could practice multi-tasking.
  6. Now, not tomorrow. If you happen to finish a scheduled task and got a little free time, it gives you all the reason to do some of the things you have scheduled for other days. If you can do it now without any constraint, why would you choose to do it later?
  7. Ask for help. If a friend’s not too busy, don’t be afraid to ask for a little help! You can ask them favors of proofreading your essay. You can ask them about the notes that you didn’t take down of. You can ask them about how this certain professor’s exam types. The possibilities are endless. Just know the right people and places. Don’t dwell too much on tiny details. If you have misunderstood a certain topic, ask your roommate, ask the person next door. Go to the nearest library. Check the internet for answers. You can consult your teacher or professor. Don’t be afraid to ask for a little assistance. No man is an island.
  8. You have all the time on your hands. If you believe that you can do it, and if you really want to do it, you will. Taking up other commitments and responsibilities is never a problem, as long as you know you can handle them without sacrificing another. You are always allowed to say no. If you have as many organizations as me, remember that work should never get in the way of your priorities. Just keep in mind that everyone has their certain limits, and you do too.
  9. If all else fails, CLUTCH IT!! I’m not joking, I’ve done this multiple times. I came out alive but I have to admit that not all of my crammed output had the best marks (although some of them did!). If you don’t want to be in this heart-racing situation, then be as diligent as possible with your work! Make it a habit.

Always remember that these tips may or may not help anyone the same as it did with me, but I’m glad that I have this opportunity to get this out there. Find your rhythm. I know it takes time, but don’t stress yourself too much because all of your efforts will be successful. Some efforts may just be rewarded in ways that you didn’t plan to, while some just lead you nearer to your dreams. Just keep doing you, and you’ll get through this.

I believe in you.

The Great Gatsby Sentence Meme
  • “All I kept thinking about, over and over, was ‘You can’t live forever; you can’t live forever.”
  • “Can’t repeat the past? Why of course you can!”
  • “Do you ever wait for the longest day of the year and then miss it? I always wait for the longest day of the year and then miss it!”
  • “Human sympathy has its limits.”
  • “'I’d like to just get one of those pink clouds and put you in it and push you around.”
  • “I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known.”
  • “I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.”
  • “I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.”
  • “I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person, I thought it was your secret pride.”
  • “I wasn’t actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.”
  • “I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores.”
  • “I’m five years too old to lie to myself and call it honor.”
  • “I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.”
  • “It is invariably saddening to look through new eyes at things upon which you have expended your own powers of adjustment.”
  • “It makes me sad because I’ve never seen such- such beautiful shirts before.”
  • “It takes two to make an accident.”
  • “It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.”
  • “Life is much more successfully looked at from a single window.”
  • “Once in a while I go off on a spree and make a fool of myself, but I always come back.”
  • “The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”
  • “What’ll we do with ourselves this afternoon, and the day after that, and the next thirty year?”
  • “Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
  • “You see, I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad things that happened to me.”
Homegrown, grass-fed, organic Coach Bittle headcanons

(This got really long and fluffy. Sorry.)

Coach looks like a scary dude, but he’s actually a big softie. He has a really intimidating resting bitch face, and a more intimidating murder face, but he would rather eat shit than say shit.

Coach is hella passive aggressive. If you mess with him he’ll be all like, “Wah, I was always taught to turn the other cheek. Hate the sin, love the sinner.” But then he’ll blind copy your boss and forward your emails if he feels like you’re being rude. Or he’ll hand out invitations to a cookout to everyone except you.

And it’s really interesting because Suzanne Bittle is the opposite. She is small and very sweet, but if you mess with her she ascends through passive aggressive and straight into aggressive-aggressive. Like, in high school Bitty had a lot of trouble with this one teacher. Not the subject material, but the teacher. Bitty would ask for help or clarification and the teacher would basically do the academic equivalent of “No, fuck off and die.” And then this teacher would “lose” Bitty’s assignments periodically, and he would grade Bitty’s tests way harder than anyone else’s.

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Week Seven: Laoghaire

The premise: What if Claire had conceived on her wedding night with Jamie?

You can find links to previous chapters here.

July 24th, 1743; Leoch.

“Good morning,” Jamie murmured into my neck, his lips brushing my skin as he held me close.

He was more awake than I was and in a far better mood.

“Mmm,” I groaned, swatting his tickling fingers away from my ear, “Speak for yourself.”

“Wame bothering ye again, mo nighean donn?”

The Scottish word for belly always left me thinking of the word womb, but in either case, the answer was yes.

“Again and again and again,” I grumbled.

Jamie’s hands drifted downwards, his fingers hovering over the area I had shown him. “Can ye feel him move?”

I shook my head, “He’s too small.”

“But soon?” His voice was eager, almost impatient. I couldn’t see his smile, but I heard it in his voice.

“No, it will be a while yet.”

Jamie was quiet for a while, as if he were envisioning the little one growing within me.

“When? When will he come?”

This gave me pause.

When would the baby come?

June - July - August - September - October - November - December - January - February - March

“Middle to the end of March.”

He sighed, “What a bonnie time to be born, mo nighean donn, in the spring. ‘Tis when all the creatures of the forest and byre and moor have their bairns, aye?

I rolled over to find him grinning like a cat who had just stolen the cream. Narrowing my eyes and trying not to smile myself, I poked him in the ribs, “If you’re comparing me to a cow, James Fraser…”

“Nae, no’ a coo,” he grabbed hold of my hand, his eyes twinkling, “but a mother hen, perhaps?”

Pulling him closer, I slid my arms around him and nestled my head under his chin.

My heartbeat immediately slowed as I felt and heard his strong, steady pulse.

All will be well, it echoed. All will be well.

Could all really be well? Could I find happiness here, in Jamie’s arms, while Frank’s lay empty? Could I choose to honor my vow to Jamie over the vow I had made to Frank?

Maybe, my heart whispered, just maybe.

“If I’m a hen, what does that make you?” I shoved my questions aside and asked one of Jamie.

“The cock o’ the roost, Sassenach.”

“What is that?” I asked, squinting at a lump on the floor near the bed. Daylight was just starting to stream thru the window and left the room deeply in shadow.

Jamie’s head popped out of his sark and he looked about the room, “What is what?”

“On the floor,” I pointed.

“Where?” He turned around in a full circle, eyes on the floor, looking very much like a dog chasing its tail. “I dinna see anything.”

I moved towards the object and nudged it with my toe, but immediately pulled my foot back, exclaiming, “Ow! It’s got thorns.”

Jamie came up beside me, bending to pick up the offending bundle. It looked like a strange posy of flowers, with blades of withered grass and thorny twigs bent into strange shapes.

“What is it?” I inquired.

He didn’t answer me but strode across the room, throwing it into the fire as soon as he was close enough. The flames swallowed it quickly and I heard him utter something in Latin under his breath. A chill ran down my spine as I realized he was praying… an almost silent petition for safety against those who would wished us harm.

Whatever the thing was, it was not benevolent.

“Jamie,” I asked in a low voice, “how did that get under our bed?”

“Laoghaire,” he spat the name.

Fury swelled within me at the mention of the blonde strumpet who made no attempt to hide her feelings for my husband. She openly stared, pining away at the other end of the great hall during dinner.

I’d become aware of the rumors she’d tried to spread when I overheard a conversation that ended with, “But I canna believe it, for I’ve never seen a lad so besotted in all my days, have ye? Trails after her like a lovesick puppy, he does, an’ the lass is nae different. Ye can never find her in the surgery o’ an afternoon for she’s always at the stables. ‘Tis a wonder the lad can get any work done wi’ his mind in the bedchamber.”

An almost smug sense of possession slowly encroached upon my anger as I remembered Jamie’s words the night we had returned to Leoch.

You are mine. Mine, mo nighean donn.

I was the one he lay claim to, the one he desired, the one who warmed his bed.

It was me who he reached for in the dark of the night, whose name he called out at his climax, who carried his child.

His response in this moment rid me of any doubt of his feelings words the girl. He was smoldering with rage, I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to see smoke billowing out of his ears. Doing his best to conceal his feelings but failing miserably, he turned to me and spoke, “Dinna fash, Sassenach, I’ll speak to the lass.”

“No, you won’t,” I stated emphatically.

His brows rose, no small amount of annoyance in his voice, “An’ why not?”

“She obviously didn’t get the message last time. What makes you think she’ll listen to you now?”  I explained reasonably before bringing him back to the object that was now crumbling into ash, “What was it?”

“An ill-wish,” he bristled.

“I thought you didn’t believe in such things.”

He shook his head, “‘Tis a threat, Sassenach, an’ no’ one I’ll let go unanswered.”

“Just who is threatening you, Laoghaire or this?” I gestured vaguely to the fire.

Jamie stepped closer, his eyes alight. “The ill-wish is meant for you.”

“Then let me be the one to handle it.”

Ladies' Man - Issac Lahey

Genre: FLUFF and some slight smut if you squint

Pairings: Isaac Lahey x Reader

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Word Count: 1412

Summary: Since Isaac finally got a lazy day after all the craziness going on in Beacon Hills, he decided to spend with you and being the ladies’ man he is he decided to try to use some pick up lines on you, his girlfriend.

Author’s Note: I have only watched up to Season Three of Teen Wolf, so if I don’t portray any of the events or characters wrong, please be nice. I just thought that Issac would fit nicely in the situation that I chose to write about. Hope you enjoy my writing.

Originally posted by maryjosez

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A huge thank you to everyone who has sent me messages over the years about this poem! I will include the text, which you can also find in Get Lit’s newly published book “Get Lit Rising” sold in bookstores nationwide! Or order it online through Amazon.

by Maia Mayor

Is there something wrong with you?
A loose screw or two that ruined your ability to function?
Why are you always so tired?
Your life is uninspired and small; all you do is sprawl on the couch
with outstretched limbs like a sloth in slow-motion.
Where is your devotion to succeed, Maia?
Did it drift out your window with the smoke from your weed?
Do I need to force feed you discipline ‘til you finally concede?
I cook and I clean and I don’t stop ‘til the soles of my feet bleed.
But I’m fine.
I’m perfect.
Be perfect, Maia.
Be perfect like me.

Stop wearing those god awful ripped pants
and that lipstick like a whore with double-d implants.
You only get one chance.
Stop acting like a cat with nine lives left.
Stop committing yourself to songs and stories and spoken slam bullshit
in a world where degrees and PhD’s impede the need for poetry.
And stop chewing on your nails.
No wonder you’ve never attracted any males.
Why do you do that? Do you like the taste? Are they sweet?
You can’t eat sweets, Maia.
You’re ruining your teeth like you’re ruining your life.
My teeth are perfect. Clean and pristine.
They gleam like the golden halo above my perfectly conditioned head.
I don’t need sugar, Maia.
I am above sugar.

Why are you down here, Maia?
Why are you down here when you need to be up here?
Up here with the ones who have a promising career
Who listen when information goes in one ear
and doesn’t come out the other.
You’ll never be up here, Maia.
You act as if the act of listening is a crime
or you would have heard me the six hundred and sixty-sixth time
Stop chewing on your nails like a goddamn piece of trash.
You can’t be trash, Maia.
You have to be perfect.
Be perfect like me.

I get up at 5 in the morning every day.
I start my day the same way worried that I’ll collapse
as my bones start to decay from cleaning up your scraps.
Why is your room such a mess?
The clothes go in the hamper, Maia.
Not displayed on your bed like your lack of morals.
Not littered on the floor collecting more dust than my withered expectations.
You disregard my rules with stubborn contempt
in a substandard attempt at teenage rebellion.
But you can’t be a rebel, Maia.
You’re not interesting enough.
You need to obey and say “yes” and “okay”
You need to do it with a smile on your less than average face.
You need to try harder, Maia.
Make it wider, Maia.
Why don’t you know how to smile?

You disappoint me, Maia.
You never appreciate what I do for you.
You never try to be a winner.
And you never eat your dinner.
You never eat the dinner I consistently provide for you
as I constantly remind you of the life I set aside for you.
That meal doesn’t pay for itself.
I don’t care if it’s ideal, stop telling me how you feel.
You need to eat it.
Eat it all.
Eat it at a reasonable time with a glass of milk.
You need milk, Maia.
You need calcium like you need a catalyst for growth.
You’ll never grow to be tall.
Be tall like me.
I drink my milk, Maia.
Drink your fucking milk.
Be tall.
Be perfect.
Be perfect like me.

You need to pay more attention, Maia.
Stop daydreaming, Maia.
Stop staring at the ceiling as if your one redeeming quality lies hidden in the plaster.
You need to organize your life.
Your life is a disaster
Just like your room.
Just like your teeth.
Just like your future,
Which will soon come to an end if you don’t put down that pen.
You need to stop writing, Maia.
Your life is not a book.
Don’t give me that look, Maia.
I’m just trying to help you.
I’m just trying to love you.
I’m just trying to love you.
You have to let me love you
so that you can be perfect.
Be perfect like me.

anonymous asked:

1) I am so on board for the new "marriage of convenience" fic, awesome work as always, and 2) "huddling for warmth" pre-jonsa? I've alway had this image of ten sitting (snuggling) together in one of the tents, several days before the battle of the bastards, and desperately want someone to tell the story behind it.

OOOH let’s try to turn that image into words, can we? 

(Also, nonny, funny story: I always thought the “share body heat” trope was absolute bogus and just fandom’s wishes, but turns out that it isn’t, and I AM SHOOK.)

[Sansa’s cold. Jon does his best to help. They never talk about it afterwards.]

Sansa’s cold.

Not so cold that she won’t survive, she tells herself. And it isn’t as if she has anyone to complain with- Sansa knows what they think of her, knows it well. Lannister, Stone, Bolton; it’s a miracle the Stark underneath hasn’t crumpled already, broken from the weight of her masks and griefs. The Northerners distrust her for her past, and the wildlings distrust her for what she represents, and in the end all Sansa has is herself, as it’s always been.

But, really, in the end, it all boils down to the fact that they just don’t like her.

So she keeps herself calm, unflappable, even in the fact of their utter contempt. Sansa’s suffered to get here. She won’t let herself falter now. She won’t complain, because she’s a Stark and a Northerner and she’ll show these thrice-damned people that if it kills her.

And yet- there’s a difference between facing off against lords’ disdain and being soaked to the bone in the only good clothes you have. The puddle she slipped and fell into was accidental; nobody had seen her fall, and she’d brushed herself off easily. The problem was in the tear of the furs which opened it up to the thinner layers below, and in the snowfall that came on later- they couldn’t find a proper place to camp for a few hours, and by that time her clothes almost froze solid.

Another violent shudder ripples through her, but she only clenches her jaw firmly and draws her hands closer to her torso.

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We only ever talk on the phone when he calls, I answer on the first ring. My calls to him go unanswered. He only ever calls if he wants something from me, never to say he misses me or ask how I am. I purposely do things to anger him. If he is angry at me at least he feels something for me. Anger is better than the nothingness I have become in his eyes.

I sit on my bed so empty, I am hollow. I don’t even have enough emotion to cry anymore. I just sit on my bed running my finger on the surface the lighter you left at my house. The only reminder of the boy I loved. Could it have only been four months ago you held me in your arms telling me letting me go was your biggest regret?

I never see you, I talk to your friends because this is the closest I can ever get to you. Your name burns my lips but I am constantly saying it. Your face makes me freeze in fear but I go out of my way to see it.

Every day I am filled with an unending ache of what you have done to me. Some days it’s less than others but it’s always there. Other days it feels like it may strangle me, that I may actually die because of the nothingness you have caused me to feel. It will not surprise me if it eventually does kill me. I don’t know how much longer I can continue to drift alone in this life. Begging to be loved and finding it in all the wrong people and places. Funny thing is if this heartache, this feeling of complete sorrow does kill me. You wouldn’t even realize I was dead, because in your eyes I already am. With the realization of that, actual death does not scare me at all. When death comes for me and asks if I had any regrets your name will be the last two words I ever speak.

Sparks Chapter 21

Originally posted by nadiacth

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other characters from the avengers team

Word Count: 2.5K

Summary: Post sad shit happening. Finally confiding in Bucky about your deepest darkest emotional feelings bout life and shit. idk… life is tiring guys.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendship and then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 67,000 words. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know

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All I Ask

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

You knew this was coming – you both did – but you tried to ignore it, grasping at the air to try and keep your heads above water.  The past few weeks have been hard for you with schoolwork piling up, your job taking up the rest of your free time so keeping your relationship with Scott afloat wasn’t easy, in fact, it fell to the back of your mind the closer it got to finals week.  When you two were able to talk on the phone, things were tense and you were both distracted by your college work and the new friends you’ve made…things just weren’t the same anymore.

Your palms felt sweaty as you drove to Scott’s house, knowing how this night was going to end before it even started.  Putting your car into park, you stared at the home you’ve made so many of your favorite memories in and a wistful smile curled your lips because nothing would ever take those moments away from you.  Knuckles knocked on the door; you swallowed as you stuffed your hands in the back pockets of your jeans preparing yourself to leave your heart out here, knowing better than to let it cross over the threshold when Scott pulled open the door.

“Hey, Scottie.”  Voice soft and tender, you took a step into his home and just stood there staring at him with understanding in your eyes.

He gave you a soft smile, closing the door behind you Scott didn’t waste a moment before he pulled you into his arms and hugged you close to his chest.  “Hey, sweetheart.”

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Finding Balance [Part One]

Author: smutandahalf

Characters: Reader x Stiles


Word Count: 1,684

**Hello my lovelies! Here is the real beginning of the story, the prequel isn’t necessary but if you’d like to read it you can find it here **

Originally posted by writingissatansworstnightmare

I focus on the loud music blasting from my headphones as my feet pound against the dirt trail. I don’t know how long I’ve been running for, I didn’t really have a distance in mind when I set out, I just needed to get out and find a release for the intense agitation that’s been swirling inside of me all day.

           My thoughts get away from me and start to drift to him and I grit my teeth. He’s always there, every time I turn around. Smirking at me like he knows something, like he can see right through me. I clench my fists and run a little harder. As if that wasn’t unnerving enough his constant flirting and touches don’t make it any better. Even though I refuse to acknowledge him, a shiver goes through me every time his hand brushes against me- intentionally or not. It’s like there’s something inside of me calling to him, something I’ve been trying so hard to keep buried within me.

           I slow down, changing my pace to a slow jog as I turn my music down to slightly so that I can hear my breathing over it. I try to focus on my breathing, at evening out the pants of air that are shoving its way out of my airways. There’s a crack behind me followed by the snapping sound of a few branches breaking and I feel my heart spasm in panic as I pick up my pace again, not even daring to look back. I let my ear buds drop out of my ears so that I can hear whatever is coming up behind me and I try to remain calm when I realize it sounds like it’s gaining on me.

           I begin sprinting, silently berating myself for going so far out into the woods in a town that I know has an absurd amount of vicious supernaturals drawn to it constantly. An arm snakes around my waist and I shriek as I lose my balance; sending both my pursuer and I stumbling down the hill through the dead leaves and dirt. I land on my back, the force knocking the wind out of me and I lay there gasping for breath.

           “Where are you running off to so fast, kitten?”

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Not Alone

Originally posted by fymarveluniverse

(I did not make that gif)
Pairing: None really but I guess you could view it as Tony Stark x Reader
Word Count: 784
Warnings: Description of a panic attack.
A/N: Okay guys, time to get serious. So I have severe panic disorder and moderate clinical depression. Before I was medicated I would have at least one panic attack daily. If you routinely have panic attacks, you are not alone. Don’t be afraid to get help. Stay safe my friends, and enjoy. xx

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Te Rerenga Wairua - Ch. 13

Title: Te Rerenga Wairua
Summary: Found by the gods drifting at sea, Maui always assumed he had been thrown in it to drown. When that assumption is challenged, there is only one way to find closure: speaking to his long-departed family. But it’s never a smooth sail to the Underworld, and he’ll need help from a friend - plus a token that fell in the claws of an old enemy long ago.
Characters: Maui, Moana, Tamatoa
Rating: K
Prologue and links to all chapters up so far here.

“Stop looking at me like that. I can’t go back and you know it.”

Mini Maui’s glare became, if possible, even more accusing. Arms crossed over his chest, he began tapping a tiny foot, clearly waiting for an answer that wasn’t too long in coming.

“I told you to stop it! I tried, all right? I tried and look what happened!” Maui shouted, holding up his fishhook. He didn’t look at it himself, because it plainly hurt to see it like that - cracked and damaged in a way that it had never been damaged before. One more blow like that first one and it would shatter, leaving him once again powerless, like he’d been for the previous thousand years. He couldn’t let it happen. He wouldn’t let it happen.

Without the hook, I’m nothing.

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I couldn’t find this on tumblr so I uploaded it again.

This is such an important message. I was lucky enough to go an brilliant private school for Sixth Form and it made me appreciate my education so much more because I wanted to make my parents and myself proud.

My secondary school gave me my GCSEs but destroyed my passion for anything and taught me I was worthless. My Sixth Form taught me that I mean something and that I can achieve something, and that’s why I will always be grateful. Without them, I would now be drifting, not studying something I love every single day.

Regardless of what school you attend, whether a state school or an independent school, find a teacher who will always encourage and support you. My first wonderful teacher was my deputy head who told me to leave my secondary school and find something I loved - she saw how miserable I was. It makes school so much easier.

(Also, I adore Emma Watson)

I have always been the kind of girl to drift off to another world too easily. Reading, watching movies, playing those cute little dressing games you can find on the internet or just imagining. Nothing to grab. Anything to just escape reality. I don’t exactly know why I wanted to escape. Maybe it was the fact that I felt uncomfortable with myself. The way I was, or more presice the way I looked, always was a big problem for me. So I would just pretend to be someone else, someone prettier, someone wildly and deeply loved. Someone better, simply. I was a princess when I was younger, with the start of puberty I was the popular kid, now just the girl to find her love. But of course, always beautiful, adorable and in some way individual or special. All things that I didn’t have. That I haven’t been. I knew I had to focus on real life. But it always was a relief to sit at home and watch a movie or read a book, or to lay in bed, close my eyes and just for some hours drift off to another world. Pretend to be a lovely character in a story. In those hours I had everything I wanted, everything I didn’t have in real life. Not material things. Things like beauty, and love. I loved it. I lost my heartaches. Even more bitter were them when the hours of dreaming or pretending were over. Reality just hit me too hard. And I wished for things I couldn’t have.
Still I do have problems with reality. Still I just want to live in fictional stories. My life still makes me unhappy so often, although I do have the important things. I do have a house and enough money to live, I don’t have any illness and I experience the love of family and friends. It’s just the things I always dreamt of that are missing. I dont find any beauty in myself. And I, the hell, can’t find the love of a man. Call me a hopeless dreamer. I know that is probably overrated but I grew up with the old Disney movies. And the princesses always got the love of a man and they were so beautiful and adorable. I know that my life is not a fairytale, but can’t I wish for it? Can’t I dream of it? Or will it get me all fucked up, always realising my life never will be a fairytale?
Well, I don’t know what to do with my life. Neither do I know what will happen. Tomorrow, next week or in 5 years. But I don’t wanna wait for the one good thing to happen. I hope for it to happen, yes. But this is a lesson I gotta learn: that I live my life without waiting. I do have to enjoy every moment or at least make the best of it. I dont wanna miss all the other good things because I’m waiting for the ‘one’ thing. That’s so typical again, but live your life. Get up and do something instead of sitting there and just waiting. Dreaming is ok. But don’t miss your life that might be better than you think if you just make the best of it.
That’s for me, and for you. For all the dreamers out there. I think we all have to learn this.
—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write

hey cher @majeime + all your other blogs which i’m too lazy to tag,

listn i know you’re only gna be off for 2 months but i swear this is gna be the longest two months of my life i’m gna ?? miss you so much wth like icb we met like ? a year ago or more & we’ve drifted away & back so many times that i can’t even count them anymore, but i’m honestly so thankful that we got closer a few months ago. you’ve livened up my every single day since we’ve started txting daily, & i’ve always felt like i could do anything bc you’d be here for me ( tho anything is usually procrastinating or making more blogs, but you get my point ) . i jst wanna say i’m so incredibly proud of you for taking such a huge step toward finding what you want to do in life, & i know it’s not gna be easy considering how much we’ve bonded over how weak we are physically, but i believe in you !! you can do this make sure to come back buff & rdy to crush me pls thnk ?? we’ll hv tht fight abt who gets to proclaim eternal love over the other whn ur back promise ♥ 

Hey Phil?

Summary: Drabble about semi-drunk phan at playlist

“Hey Phil?” Dan slurred, his head dangling off the edge ofthe sofa. The room was mostly dark, lit only slightly with purple lighting. It seemed to be playlist’s thing this year. Dan wasn’t quite sure what the room was, although cardboard boxes seemed to line the corners. Dan suspected it was never supposed to see the light of day.

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