'what the hell is this contraption'


Imagine Erik helping motivate you to test your powers.

“Erik, are you sure about this?” you asked uncertainly, eyeing the contraption the man had rigged together. “What is this thing even supposed to do?”

“It’s meant to test your abilities,” Erik explained, “Your task is to deactivate the lights.”

“That’s it?”

“Well, not quite. I thought you might require some… motivation.” Erik flicked a switch on the side of the box and you jumped as it started ticking. “It’s attached to a bomb.”

Your eyes went huge as you rounded on the mutant, “What the hell?” you demanded, “You attached this to a bomb?!”

“It’s only a small incendiary device. Nothing serious, though it may hurt.” Erik smirked ever so slightly. “I recommend you start soon. There’s a timer.”

You swore as you turned back to the device, your heart hammering against your ribs. “I’m going to kill you,” you growled out through gritted teeth as you focused on the lights.

“You can do it, [f/n],” the metal-manipulator assured, though he took a step back (more likely to keep you from socking him than from the threat of a bomb).

You flexed your jaw, concentrating your willpower on the little lights. The exercise should be simple. Turn out the lights, stop the bomb. You drew in a breath, filling your lungs slowly before letting it out again. You needed to clear your mind. There were four lights. You swallowed, allowing your body to relax and willing your power to flow out of you. Gradually, the knot of tension in your stomach loosened and something inside of you clicked. You could feel Erik’s eyes on you, waiting for you to act. You narrowed your eyes and the first two lights flickered out. Your confidence grew and a grin took hold of your lips as the third, and then the fourth light went dark.

You breathed a sigh of relief, turning to Erik and crossing your arms. “Happy now?” you asked, pride mingling with annoyance in your tone. “You could have blown up the school. Charles would have been quite unimpressed.”

Erik raised an eyebrow, a small smile curling his lips. “I had faith in your abilities.”

Gif Credit: Erik


*Y/N arrives in the Glade and is instantly attracted to Newt, who is second in command. Newt is giving Y/N the tour and is helping her decide her new job.*

You woke suddenly to the sound of grinding metal. Your head hurt like hell and you lifted your body up slightly, looking around you just to notice that you were in a small box with some bags and boxes. You instantly started panicking, your breathing uneven and your heart beating so hard it hurt. You stood up, then instantly fell over as a wave of nausea washed over your body. You sat in the box, head between your knees, confused and scared. You looked up to see you were approaching the top of the contraption you were in, and quickly. You let out a scream just as a bright light flooded your vision, and you wouldn’t stop screaming even when the box stopped moving and you were clearly not hurt.

“What the bloody hell-” you heard and opened your eyes to see a group of boys around your age, huddled together above you. You observed their shocked faces and suddenly felt self-conscious. You swallowed your saliva and stared at the tall blond boy with a structured face standing closest to you.

“Move.” you heard and saw a dark-skinned boy push through the crowd and he jumped down into the box with you. You instantly moved up against the side of the box, intimidated. His eyes were soft but his build was frightening.

“I’m Alby. Welcome to the Glade.”

You stared at his outstretched hand and refused to touch it. He nodded and got out of the box. He sighed and rubbed his hands on his face, looking stressed. Murmurs went through the crowd but all you could hear was “Never” and “Girl.” Alby offered you his hand again but all you could do was stare at it. He didn’t leave. He just stood there, hand out, an expectant look on his face.

“The Box won’t leave until you get out, kid.” he said and you debated your options. See what was outside of the box, or the Glade as he called it, or stay in the cage forever. You took his hand and he easily lifted you out of the box. Your eyes met those of the blond boy’s, and he smiled innocently before Alby led you away.

You felt small and weak as you looked around the Glade. It was a big piece of land with woods and a few buildings, clearly built by hand. You had stopped walking and looked around, and felt all eyes on you. Alby kept walking and you had to jog to keep up, the crowd of boys obviously following you.

“Hey! Shanks! Get back to work!” you heard a voice with an accent say and you turned your head back to see the blond boy ordering the others to return to their work. The crowd dispersed while you stared at the boy, his side profile just as perfect as everything else about him. He turned his head and smiled again, and waved to you, and you melted. You didn’t even know his name. You didn’t even know your name. Or where you came from. Or who your family is. You started to panic all over again and felt your breathing becoming shallow.

“Greenie, relax. No one remembers much of anything.” you heard Alby say as if he had read your mind. You nodded and slowly kept walking with him.

“I have to go organize some things for the bonfire tonight but Newt will show you the rest of the Glade.” Alby said as he waved someone over. Your eyes were now focused on a wall which seemed to be split open.

“Hello, love.” you heard and whipped your head towards the voice.

“I’m Newt. I’ll be showing you around the Glade. The boys there are taking some of the boxes and bags out of the Box for you right now and we’ll have you settled in in no time. I’m second in command here, after Alby. ” he said and you smiled slightly and started walking alongside him.

“Everyone here has a job, and the point of the tour is to help you decide what your role is going to be here in the Glade.” he said.

“These are the Med Jacks. There’s only two so I suppose it would be ideal if you could take that up, of course there’s no pressure but these shanks have a klunk load to do sometimes, especially when Runners get hurt.” you didn’t really understand some of the words he was using but you were too distracted by the familiarity of the Med Jack hut.

“Here.” you said and walked around the hut, Newt watching your every move with a glimmer in his eye.

“Alright then. It’s chosen. You’ll start learning how to do things tomorrow then.” he said and you two walked out of the hut.

“For now, we’ll set up a hammock for you, but I suppose we’ll have to make some adjustments for your um- feminine needs.” he said the end quietly and you smiled at his innocence.

“Thanks for the tour.” you said at the end of the tour just as boys came running in from the split in the stone wall. A tall Asian boy came running in and you were distracted by his muscular build and sharp face.

“That’s Minho, Keeper of the Runners. Quite a looker, huh?” Newt joked, but you heard a hint of negativity in his voice.

“What’s a Runner?” you asked and Newt explained that Runners go out into the maze and map it everyday, trying to find a way out. They’re our only hope.

“But don’t worry, we’ll find our way out soon. But until then, I’m glad we finally got someone cute around here.” he said with a wink and a reassuring smile, making your insides shake while sending tingling sensations throughout your body. The Glade might not be too bad.

focusas  asked:

Sokkla Fugitive AU

Exasperated, Azula limped her way across the sand toward her captor, the desert sun beating down over her head, burning her skin, the metal cuffs scratching her wrists, “What the hell you doing now, Sokka?”

He looked up from his hunched position over the mangled remains of his latest flying contraption, his faced caked with dust and sand and oil, “I’m thinking about how to get us out of this desert, what does it look like I’m doing?”

“Well, think me up a canteen filled with fresh water while you’re at it, you drooling ignoramus, I’m thirsty.”

anonymous asked:

6, 7 and Charles please?

6. This should be… interesting. | 7. Don’t judge me! Prompt idea list here

You watched, dumbstruck, as Charles wheeled into the room with a gigantic… thing on his lap.

“What the hell is that?” You pointed at the contraption. It looked like a mix between a motorcycle helmet three-sizes-too-big, an Oculus Rift, and the inside of a computer. Bits of wires that connected who-knows-what to each other stuck out from the headpiece in crazy loops. It looked like someone dumped a bowl of colour-coded spaghetti on top.

“Oh, you mean this little thing?” Charles grinned, clearly excited about the machine. He held it up in both hands. “I present to you: Mini Cerebro! It’s smaller, portable, and less of a hassle.”

You eyed the thing uncertainly. “Does it even work?”

“Of course it does, (y/n)! It’s of my own design. Help me put it on.”

You sighed, but went over and put the helmet over his head. “This should be… interesting,” you mumbled quietly as he instructed you to hook up the wires.

“Perfect! Step back, (y/n). Connecting in three… two… one…!”

A sudden well of sparks emerged from the right side of the machine. Something inside popped, and the smell of smoke filled the room.

“Ahh! Get it off! Get it off!” Charles yelped. You rushed over and helped him out of it. The tips of his hair on the right were singed, and there was a small streak of ash on his cheek. Other than that, he looked generally unharmed.

You put your hands on your hips and shook your head. “Mini Cerebro, huh?” you giggle. “I think you should stick to the big one Hank designed.”

His cheeks flushed. “At least I tried, (y/n). Don’t judge me!

“Arin..?” Fog rose out of the tall machine. Arin had “accidentally” fell into Brian’s new invention, meaning Brian had used him as a lab rat and pushed him in. Dan had witnessed this all happen and stood in fear as he waited for his friend to come out of the contraption.

A foot appeared out in the fog, followed by another, and another and five more. “A-A-Arin..?” Dan clenched his shirt as the fog cleared up revealing not one Arin, but four of him, each with a different colored hair strand. “Yeah?” Each of them said simultaneously responding to Dan. They all turned and stared at each other in disbelief. “What the hell??” the man with the blue strand exclaimed.

“Is that what I always look like??” the pink stranded man asked. “Damn, I look good!”

“W-w-what’s going on??” the purple stranded one spoke. “I-im scared..”

Dan grabbed Brian’s shoulders and shook him. “What the fuck, man?! What the hell did you do?!”

The man laughed. “Just experiments. I had no idea this was going to happen. But isn’t this amazing!? I just made a scientific discovery!! I invented cloning!!” Brian pointing to himself with a big smile on his face.

Dan scoffed, “I cant believe you, man. Come on Arins, lets try to figure out what to do.” He led all the Arins out of the office and into the Grump room.


“What am I going to do?” The curly haired man ran his fingers through his hair and bit his lip. “What am I going to tell Suzy?? Can I even reverse this???? Ugh!!”

“Hey Dan?” The purple haired man approached playing with his fingers. He extended his arms. “Do you need a hug?”

Dan looked up and nodded and wrapped his arms around the man. “Thank you Baby Bear.”

“Baby Bear, huh. I like it.”


Im sorryyyy i wanna finish it but i have no motivation right now.

Anyways here ya go. @beefycakies @keenveins

You Make That Choice

So this person kept talking about “zoodles” and I was like, what the hell is this? I learned that “zoodles” were zucchini noodles and that you could make “noodles” out of many fruits and vegetables. Are beet noodles BOODLES? LOL!

I hate zucchini but I was urged to give it a try. I bought a “spiralizer,” a kitchen device that will make fake fruit and vegetable noodles. It is a medieval looking contraption I left in its box for about a month and a half. Today, I was urged to try these mysterious “zoodles” once more and I could put it off no longer. I had zucchini, having acquired the dreaded vegetable days earlier and procrastinated the consumption thereof. I could procrastinate no longer. 

Anyway, zucchini makes me laugh because it is pretty phallic. See also: cucumbers and certain carrots. I spent a lot of time looking at the zucchini and fondling them and being desperately immature. Then, as the instruction manual instructed I PREPARED the zucchini by chopping off the ends. Heh. CHOP CHOP CHOP!

I went to a psychic recently. I didn’t think it was my thing but anyway, for reasons, there I was in this new age shop that was so new age and everyone was friendly and had flowing hair and flowing skirts and peasant shirts and they were maybe braless and smiling all the time, and it was confusing. Is this heaven, I wondered. 

When I saw the psychic, she asked, “What questions do you have for me?” At this point in my life, I only have one question. I mean, I have many questions but there is only one I want answered. The rest of my questions will answer themselves in time and those questions aren’t precarious or tender. 

 The psychic encounter was fascinating, affirming. She told me to basically stay the course I am on, which I was already going to do, but she had lots of smart, wise advice and showed me some things I do that I should stop doing because they are futile. This is all sort of vague but regardless, I tried something new. It was interesting. Nothing is promised, no matter what spirituality you believe in. I guess that’s how faith works. You believe despite every reason you shouldn’t. You believe even when it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. You believe because you want to. You make that choice. I am finally starting to understand faith after so many years of having none. 

To make the “zoodles” I placed each zucchini in the contraption and then turned the handle, TURN TURN TURN, and zoodles came out on the other end. I was probably doing something wrong because few of my zoodles came out long and elegant. Mostly they were stubby little slivers but fine, whatever. I will try to make the zoodles better next time. 

I’ve been spending a lot of time in that city. I’ve been taking meetings with actual fancy people. These are the kinds of meetings where nothing means anything until it does. I hope eventually this will all mean something. 

Unexpectedly, I have found a city where actually want to live. I wonder if I will have the courage to allow myself to be happy. Time will tell.

There are these moments when everything is perfect, ordinary but perfect and by perfect I just mean, very good, real, tough, true. In these moments, I think, someday, it might always be like this and my heart fills my chest. I can breathe easier. 

I am not patient. But I am trying. It’s not all about me, apparently. 

I added tomatoes to the zoodles. I love tomatoes. 

About ten days ago, something upset me and I had a sad little evening in a hotel room and I forced myself to reevaluate my life. Early mid-life crisis? When I came out on the other side I was reaffirmed. Then, later, a friend told me to make a list of what I want in the here and now and I’ve made that list. It is a modest list, I think. And it is extravagant because I so rarely admit what I want. I am not used to believing that I am allowed to want, that I am worthy of desires. 

I also added some fresh basil, corn, and scallions. I pretended I was like Ina and going out to my garden to get these ingredients but no, they came from my refrigerator. I don’t have a house in the Hamptons and a gorgeous herb garden. Alas. 

My stomach continues to give me fits. When I don’t eat, I feel fantastic. I didn’t eat yesterday and when I woke up this morning, I was like, I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!! Then, I went out to lunch with a new friend and was like, “The end cannot come soon enough.”

But uhhh, one has to eat to like, survive. I’m starting to track the foods that set me off. Dairy is a mess, unless I take Lactaid and even then. All too often when I eat, I’m fine and then I’m not and my stomach hurts so badly and I can’t hardly walk or think straight. I start sweating buckets, like literally. It’s not a sustainable thing. I’ve seen doctors. I’ve had tests and tests (I don’t have celiac disease, etc etc etc) and the doctors tell me there’s nothing wrong beyond mild gastritis. 

But. This is not all in my head. I know this is not in my head. Someone gave me the name of a great stomach doctor in the city I spend like, half my time in these days so I am going to see that doctor when I can. I don’t know that anything will come of it. I can only have so much faith. After years of stomach pain, I’m starting to resign myself to always being in pain. Anyway, whatever. Bodies are stupid.

I made a vinaigrette–white balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper, and then I tossed it all together, TOSS TOSS TOSS. 

I’m starting with a new personal trainer. I don’t have any grand pronouncements. I just have some reasons I want to be fitter and this is one of the strategies I am employing. There are others. We’ll see how it goes. Or, more honestly, we will see if I stop sabotaging myself with my emotional bullshit so that I can finally, FINALLY, live my life to the fullest. 

Let me tell you about this trifling thing I do. I will partially empty my dishwasher and then add new dishes and run the cycle with both clean and dirty dishes. There are some glasses in the top rack that are beyond clean. They’ve been up there for months, just getting washed every once in a while. See, I’m not used to having a dishwasher. I normally wash dishes by hand. Sometimes I don’t have time so I just put the dishes in the dishwasher and the machine takes care of them. The future is magic. BUT. I hate emptying the dishwasher SO MUCH, and thus, this trifling cycle. I am not so good at adulting.

This turned out pretty well. It felt very “summery” and “healthy.” I ate some steak with it, now that I am back on the meat wagon. I kept thinking, “UGH I AM EATING ZUCCHINI” which was challenging but when I pretended I wasn’t eating zucchini I was able to swallow and not think this was disgusting. This dish was actually pretty good. I looked at the little meal I made for myself tonight and thought, “I’d do me. I am a fucking catch.” 

Hocus Pocus {Sentence Starters}
  • "I need one of those instant ice packs."
  • "Wait 'til you see what I'm gonna call you."
  • "Damn, damn, damn, double damn!"
  • "I love you, jerkface."
  • "You know, I've always wanted a child."
  • "It's a full moon tonight. That's when all the weirdos are out."
  • "I hate it when that happens..."
  • "Go to hell!"
  • "Don't get your knickers in a twist!"
  • "Well, tell me friend, what is this contraption?"
  • "Oh look, another glorious morning. Makes me SICK!"
  • "I'm going to summon the burning rain of death!"
  • "Well, it says to form a circle a salt to protect from zombies, witches, and old boyfriends."
  • "Pull over! Let me see your driver's permit!"
  • "They thought I was a real cop!"
  • "I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely."
  • "Come little children, I'll take thee away!"
  • "Okay that's it, party's over! Get out of my house!"
  • "Resisting arrest?"
  • "Say what you want, just don't breathe on me!"
  • "What am I supposed to do with my afternoon?"
  • "Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose."
  • "Oh, you're right, you're always right."
  • "You're the ugliest thing that ever lived, and you know it!"
  • "Look, whatever it is, just tell me."
Text Me Maybe

KJ – 3:08 PM

           I learned how to use this bloody contraption for you. Why do you not respond to my messages?

ES – 3:10 PM

          I try, Killian, but there are just so many…

KJ – 3:11 PM

         I need to talk to you!

ES – 3:14 PM

        You don’t have to tell me that you saw a lovely pigeon flying above the clock tower!

KJ – 3:15 PM

        It reminded me of the day we met.

ES – 3:16 PM

        How the hell did that remind you of the day we met?

ES – 3:16 PM

        You know what? I don’t want to know. What do you want for dinner tonight?

ES – 3:20 PM


ES – 3:26 PM


KJ – 3:27 PM

       How do you like it when I refuse to reply?

ES – 3:28 PM

       You’re incorrigible.

KJ – 3:28 PM