'well. maybe it wouldn't be that bad

  • Kurt: Well maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some of us didn't try playing with big meaty claws.
  • Coach Ripper: What did you say, punk?
  • Kurt: Big. Meaty. CLAWS!
  • Coach Ripper: Well these claws ain't just for attracting mates!
  • Kurt: Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!
  • Heather McNamara: No people. Let's be smart and bring it OFF.
  • Heather Duke: Oh! So now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us?!
zodiac horror story (part 2)
  • ig // sassasstrology
  • the signs are camping out in the woods. they're at a cliché, dark, scary old forest where the murderer always comes and kills people. let's see what will happen..
  • *
  • part 1: http://littlekingv.tumblr.com/post/158545307359/zodiac-horror-story-part-1
  • *
  • aries - male
  • taurus - male
  • gemini - female
  • cancer - male
  • leo - female
  • virgo - female
  • libra - female
  • scorpio - male
  • sagittarius - male
  • capricorn - female
  • aquarius - male
  • pisces - female
  • (that's ^ not really important, but if you want to know the genders of the signs i came up with, there they are.)
  • *
  • - previously on ''zodiac horror story''
  • ''virgo: this forest is scary as shit.
  • aquarius: your face is scary as shit.''
  • ''taurus: GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYs. PISCES IS GONE AND THERE'S A TRAIL OF BLOOD. WHAT IS HAPPENING.
  • pisces: *screams*
  • cancer: PISCEEESSESEESS.''
  • - this time on ''zodiac horror story''
  • *
  • the signs are all traumatized by what just happened. did pisces die? is she still alive? who knows. the signs are sitting in taurus' tent, waiting for the perfect moment to come out.
  • aries: this tent is tOO FUCKING SMALL. WHYYY DID YOU BUY THIS SMALL ASS TENT, TAURUS?!
  • taurus: well, aries, because i wanted to have a tent all for myself because i don't want to sleep with any of you in one tent. and it was really small and cute, i just had to buy it. couldn't resist.
  • cancer: then why are we in this tent and not in yours, aries? you have the biggest tent out of all of us.
  • aries: the tent is only meant for sagittarius and me.
  • scorpio: then don't fucking complain about being in the smallest tent. you are the one who doesn't want to share your big ass tent, so it's your fault that we are here, in this tent.
  • virgo: y'all know that we could easily move to my tent? my tent is the second biggest.
  • leo: what if the killer is outside?
  • aquarius: who the fuck said that there was a killer?
  • gemini: WELL, MAYBE BECAUSE PISCES IS GONE AND THERE WAS A BLOOD TRAIL AND SHE SCREAMED AND LIKE MAYBE SOMEONE KILLED HER.
  • capricorn: she could've easily fell.
  • gemini: true, but can you also explain how she's gone all of the sudden and why she screamed so loudly?
  • aquarius: aliens.
  • sagittarius: guys, don't worry. she'll probably be back soon. gemini left too and here she is.
  • gemini: hehe.
  • libra: is pisces gone?
  • scorpio: *hits libra with a flashlight*
  • capricorn: so.. are we going to move from tent or what?
  • aquarius: i just want to sleep, man.
  • taurus: saaMEEEE.
  • cancer: should we just go outside and check if anything's outside?
  • virgo: yes.
  • leo: who's going first?
  • sagittarius: i will go first, i don't care 'bout shit.
  • sagittarius slowly peeks his head out. he crawls out of the tent.
  • sagittarius: no one's here! you all can come out!
  • everyone crawls out of the tent.
  • aquarius: hmm.. what time is it?
  • cancer: *grabs phone out of pocket* ehh.. 3:34 AM.
  • aquarius: OH MY GOD I WANT TO SLEEP.
  • scorpio: well, we aren't going to sleep until we find pisces. let's split up.
  • aries: what?! are you out of your fucking mind?!
  • virgo: why can't we just stick together..?
  • scorpio: if we split up, we have the chance to find pisces faster.
  • gemini: not if she's dead lol.
  • scorpio: she's not. she can't be.
  • capricorn: she can..
  • cancer: WE DON'T CARE. we're going to find her, whether she's alive or not. we can't just leave a friend behind.
  • sagittarius: well, she basically left us behind.
  • aquarius: can i just stay here and sleep?
  • taurus: yeah, can i stay here too?
  • scorpio: no.
  • cancer: wait, what if taurus and aquarius stay here and watch our stuff, and we are going to find pisces.
  • capricorn: good idea.
  • leo: can we just go already?
  • virgo: i ain't leaving if we are all going to split up. i don't want to go alone.
  • cancer: we ain't going alone. we're going in groups. you and capricorn will go that way, leo and libra that way, sagittarius and gemini that way and scorpio, aries and i will go that way.
  • virgo: ugh, fine.
  • cancer: great, let's go.
  • scorpio: and be careful y'all.
  • libra: yay, adventure!
  • all the groups are out in the woods, looking for pisces, not knowing where they are, or where to go. let's see how capricorn and virgo are doing out in the woods.
  • virgo: it's sooooo cold.
  • capricorn: i know.
  • virgo: why does this happen to us?! why, oh, why?!!!!!?!?!
  • capricorn: calm down! we're just going to walk around, head back and then we're just going to say that we didn't find pisces. end.
  • virgo: what!? i don't want to lie!
  • capricorn: well, too bad! pisces probably just left us because we didn't listen to her.
  • virgo: she wouldn't! she would've told me.
  • capricorn: maybe not.
  • virgo: she's my best friend. why wouldn't she?
  • capricorn: soo.. you're her best friend, still you don't want find her. okay.
  • virgo: what? who said that?
  • capricorn: you did. all you were worrying about is splitting up.
  • virgo: that's just because i'm afraid to go alone in the woods, okay?!
  • capricorn: you didn't even say anything when she went missing or when she screamed or when there was a blood trail on the ground.
  • virgo: i-i.. i don't know.
  • capricorn: of course you don't.
  • capricorn starts walking while virgo stands still, not knowing what to do or say.
  • capricorn: hurry the fuck up.
  • virgo: *sigh*
  • let's see how taurus and aquarius are doing.
  • taurus: i wish i had some pizza right now.
  • aquarius: oh my lord. why did you say that?!
  • taurus: BECAUSE I WANT PIZZA.
  • aquarius: I'M HUNGRY NOW, THANKS.
  • taurus: i have chips in my bag if you want.
  • aquarius: yes please.
  • taurus walks over to his tent and grabs a bag of chips out of his bag.
  • taurus: *sing hallelujah*
  • aquarius: *sings with taurus*
  • taurus: do you want a drink?
  • aquarius: yes.
  • taurus: coke?
  • aquarius: yes!
  • taurus walks over to his tent again.
  • taurus: aqua, do you know where my mini-fridge thingy is?
  • aquarius: uhh.. no?
  • taurus: uughhhhh. someone probably stole it.
  • aquarius walks over to taurus to help him find it.
  • aquarius: uhhh.. maybe behind your tent?
  • they go behind the tent and they see a light in the distance.
  • taurus: hey, do you see that light too?
  • aquarius: yeah..
  • taurus: should we go to it?
  • aquarius: uhh.. i don't know man..
  • taurus: i'm going.
  • aquarius: w-what?!
  • taurus walks towards the light.
  • aquarius: fucking hell.
  • aquarius follows taurus.
  • taurus: heeyy, it's my mini-fridge and a flashlight!
  • taurus picks up the fridge and flashlight.
  • aquarius: phew.
  • aquarius walks back to the camp.
  • aquarius: *looks behind him* taur-taurus? what are you doing? why are you standing there? come on!
  • taurus falls on the ground with 4 knives in his back and one knife in the back of his head. he's.... dead.
  • aquarius: *screams*
  • scorpio: aquarius?
  • *
  • rest in peace taurus.. you will be missed..
  • *
  • stay tuned for part 3, and thanks for reading!

A month ago, me and my lovely sis @ravenlindberg watched “50 shades of grey” together. Dubbed. In japanese. With Kenjiru Tsuda playing Mr Grey. 

That was quite the ride. As in humour for the first 96 minutes and endless cringe after that. There’s a reason an amazing test like this exist XD

And I found the snapchatchats I did with poor @ashethehedgehog, it was also kind of a ride to go through again and I thought I would share some of it. Sorry for tormenting you like that ashe ;_;

In summation; the movie itself wasn’t good anywhere, and I fail to see how this can be classified as a romantic story, but hearing Kaibas voice to all of it was amazing, so I give the movie ten out of ten.

anonymous asked:

There you go! Now you know in your current state that you wouldn't be able to take care of Sans well. You sent him to an environment that he's thriving in and is healthy in. You sending him to the fires is a smart choice smart and good parent choice. Gaster your not bad for him your knowing what's best for your son, and right now this is it.

-“Y-Yeah… maybe someday I’ll be ready to take him back in.”

-“I hope so, at least. I hope I’m able to get better. Right now, it seems completely impossible, I live day-by-day because that’s all I can manage. I want to believe I can make it through this.”

-“I… I should talk with Sans…”

anonymous asked:

I wouldn't say my teacher is a bad one, it's just that the way he teaches is far too fast for me, especially since I'm struggling in his subject. My other classmates seem to be doing well though, so there are always those thoughts that maybe I'm just dumb floating around my head. Anyway, my question... How can I tell my teacher that I'll need him to 'slow down' a bit... Or would it be better to just stay quiet and try to absorb what I can?

You should always speak up.  Talk to your teacher privately and explain that you are struggling.  Ask for some extra help.  Always, always ask.  It is YOUR education.

  • Leon: Well maybe some of us wouldn't sound so bad if they weren't playing with BIG FEATHERY HANDS!
  • Falco: What was that, Punk?
  • Leon: BIG. FEATHERY. HANDS!
  • Falco: Well these feathers aren't just for attracting mates!
  • Leon: Bring it on annoying bird! Bring it on!
  • Peppy: No let's be smart and bring it off.
  • Katt: Oh, so the talking meme is gonna preach to us?
  • Coworker: why are you chugging orange juice? Is something wrong with your diabetes? High? Low?
  • Me: I'm low
  • Coworker: well maybe if you took care of yourself you wouldn't be low.
  • Me: fuck off casey.
  • The biggest thing that will piss me off is someone assuming that when my blood sugar is not normal it's my fault.
  • Stress, food, meds, emotions, exercise, hormones, and many more things play a part it's not always are fault. High and low blood suagrs don't make us bad diabetics.
  • Abe: Well maybe we wouldn't have played so bad if some people didn't try to play with big meaty egos!
  • Haruna: What did you say, punk?!
  • Abe: BIG. MEATY. EGOS!!
  • Haruna: Well this ego isn't just for attracting mates!
  • Abe: Bring it on, lousy pitcher! Bring it on!
  • Mihashi: No people, let's be smart and bring it off.
  • Akimaru: OOOH, so now the talking BIRD'S gonna preach to us!
Malcolm in the Middle sentence starters
  • "I am destined to be the most miserable person on earth."
  • "I want a sundae and then some pizza."
  • "So, what kind of socks are you wearing?"
  • "I will leave home forever! Or I'll never leave... whatever's worse."
  • "You don't have any friends."
  • "You spent $300 on sequins?"
  • "I want to wear my pajamas to school."
  • "I expect nothing and I'm still let down."
  • "I can smell colors."
  • "I have social skills, jackass."
  • "I'm just gonna go crawl under a rock now."
  • "People can't help what they like."
  • "In our house, 'feelings' is the F word."
  • "Are you trying to seduce me?"
  • "I'll get up when the world stops being a cruel joke."
  • "I know what you're gonna say and believe me, I totally agree."
  • "There was no excuse for what I did. It was idiotic, immature."
  • "I was being sneaky and stuff."
  • "You're going down."
  • "Who's this dork?"
  • "You wanna go learn something about the real world?"
  • "Too bad. You're coming."
  • "I got the DVD player but we'll need to steal another $600 if you want the surround sound."
  • "Maybe we can figure out some sort of deal."
  • "Nothing exciting ever happens around here."
  • "I just wanted somebody to like me."
  • "She's cute, she's smart and she even lies to cops."
  • "I'm in ass heaven."
  • "I'm Mr. Cool."
  • "Why does everything end in a group suicide with you?"
  • "What happened to your face?"
  • "What happened to your pants?"
  • "Well maybe she wouldn't be a lesbian if you tucked in your shirt once in awhile."
  • "There was nothing they could do about it."
  • "I don't want to burn up any calories repeating myself."
  • "I just don't get why we're celebrating. It seems wrong."
  • "If he wants to marry a total stranger, that's his business."
  • "Have you really thought about what you're doing?"
  • "I'll spend the rest of my life being sweet to her."
  • "You will never connect normally with another human being."
  • "We photoshopped your head in."
  • "I have a need to show off."
  • "When they laugh, I'm sure they're always laughing at me."
  • "They're all jealous."
  • "I bet you feel like a jackass."
  • "This in no way justifies what you said before."
  • "It's ditch day."
  • "I'm surprised you didn't hear. Everyone was telling their friends... Oh."
  • "The professor of boozeology has some homework for you."
  • "What's he doing here?"
  • "I know I always say gossip rots your soul, but it doesn't count when it's this good."
  • "I'm so glad we don't have any secrets."
  • "I'm glad you told me."
  • "Feels good to come clean."
  • "I ended up at the supermarket, where I squeezed all the Wonderbread into balls, so the manager threw me out."
  • "Oh my God, I'm as unpopular as you?"
  • "You don't have to freak out, I know how to handle him."
  • "Thank you for inviting me."
  • "Are you trying to prove you can't go out in public?"
  • "This is your last chance."
  • "Don't try 911. They're not qualified."
  • "Maybe we need to look at ourselves honestly."
  • "You're a ruthlessly brutal thug."
  • "I have my moods."
  • "Look how it was my first impulse to criticize you, that just shows what a pompous asshole I am."
  • "I usually assume people are my enemy."
Spirit Interview with Gre (Vampire) & Dam (Werevampire)
  • These two decided to do the interview together, and its hilarious. They are hysterical, I am laughing pretty much the entire time, but they are also the two spirits that I got to when I need the dirty shit done, if you know what I mean. But I decided to post this how it happened because its funny as shit, although I am missing some bits as it happened in my astral home...
  • (On a side note, they request nobody call them anything cutesy, after seeing Au's interview responses.)
  • Starting off, only Dam is present, and thinking they are doing it together I am a little stumped.
  • Me: Is Gre coming? I thought you two wanted to do it together?
  • Dam: Hes coming, just getting ready. (Hes got a wicked grin on his face so I know something is up.)
  • Me: Oh shit. What is going on.
  • Dam: ...
  • Me: Alright well, lets start off with you then Dam, what do you prefer to be called for the interview, and let everyone know what you are.
  • Dam: Dam! But not like the swear word damn, like if you cut off the first part of my name.
  • Me: Got it...
  • Dam: And I am a werevampire...
  • *Gre shows up, we both look over, Dam starts roaring with laughter and I do too* (He -Gre- shows up dressed in black fishnets and a pink tutu like mini skirt and no shirt.)
  • Me: What the fuck are you wearing? Why? You realize they cant see you right?
  • Gre: You said to show off my personality!
  • Me: ...
  • Gre: What? You don't like it.
  • Me: Just... you never cease to surprise me is all.
  • Gre: Its my punk princess look!
  • Dam: I didn't know you planned that! Show them the picture that looks like him so they can get a full visual!
  • Gre: YEA DO IT!
  • Me: Alright alright!
  • (Will post that after this)
  • Both: YES!
  • Me: Ok G, what would you like to be called during the interview and what are you?
  • Gre: Call me whatever and I am a vampire.
  • Me: Alright I am going to regret this, but what are your favorite offerings...
  • *Dam gets a really suggestive look on his face and raises his eyebrow.*
  • Gre: Blood. And Sex.
  • Me: & what are your favorite ways to communicate with me?
  • Gre: Astral work.
  • Dam: Same.
  • Me: @hat sort of things do the two of you typically do within the family?
  • Dam: Protection typically. Offensive defense essentially.
  • Gre: WE FUCK SHIT UP!
  • Me: ... You are like a teenager sometimes I swear...
  • Gre: They make funny memes!
  • Me: Oh, Tumblr will love you... Annnnyway, how do you get along within the family, and how long have you been around?
  • Dam: I fit in quite well when I came to you 5 or so months ago? 6?
  • Me: Yea Gre pretty much adopted you as his partner in crime that he never knew he needed.
  • Gre: Hes perfect for me! I have worked with you about two years, and I think I annoy a few but most tend to like me!
  • Me: You can be a handful sometimes...
  • Gre: Well I get shit done then get a chance to not be so serious all the time!
  • Me: True! So what attracted you to working with humans?
  • Gre: Humans are such fragile, sickly things but are so fearless sometimes its fascinating. How you leave your house sometimes when everything can kill you amazes me sometimes.
  • Dam: Well she has to pay rent.
  • Gre: You are so practical sometimes.
  • Dam: ...
  • Gre: I know you are right but seriously she could get run over by that small human on wheels and die!
  • Me: The toddler on the trike down the hall wouldn't be able to kill me. Maybe bruise my shin and leave a bump for awhile.
  • Gre: See! And nobody wants that!
  • Me: I don't think it would hurt that bad, babe.
  • Dam: Well I am more interested in some of the culture, but humans can make for happy hunting too...
  • Me: (ignoring the hunting bit on purpose) Speaking of culture, what is your favorite human media bit?
  • Dam: Ramones are pretty cool, I like when you play them.
  • Gre: Rocky Horror! You remember-
  • Me: I do!
  • *Gre gives a satisfied smile*
  • Me: Who did you know who you wanted to go with as far as a human companion?
  • Gre: Well, you would put up with my humor..
  • Dam: Heh, you just know. Meshing energies and all that stink but its similar to how you know you want to work with us. I specifically wanted to work with you because you are important. Not just to us but to others and will be to more.
  • Gre: Agreed.
  • (This is something others have touched on but they never go into depth.)
  • Me: I wont dig into that more because I know you wont tell me... What first impressions did you have of me?
  • Gre: You had work to do. Not in the fact that you were weak, but you know you have work to do and you are willing to do it. Theres a fire that burns in you and you feed it.
  • Dam: You are also accepting of all of us, despite our personalities or behaviors and we are able to earn your trust.
  • Me: Has that opinion changed over time?
  • Dam: Well you still put up with his shit.
  • Gre: Im a princess.
  • Me: *laughs* Point taken.
  • Dam: You are good at accepting challenges and make good mental calculations as to the best course of action in many situations, which saves you a lot of trouble. My opinion of you has always been good.
  • Gre: Gettin' shit doooone.
  • Me: Holy crap dude. (they are both laughing) Alright last question for now-
  • Gre: Donuts?!
  • Me: Yes...
  • Gre: The ones filled with shit because when you smash them they pop all over like smashing a heart.
  • Dam: What the-
  • Gre: I had that one planned!
  • Me: (hysterically laughing at this point) I am done.
  • Gre: BYE WEBINARS!
  • Me: What?
  • Dam: You mean internet people?
  • Gre: Whatever.

anonymous asked:

I need a bit of help - I want to write a horror novel (focusing on demons/witches/the paranormal), and I've got some general ideas but have no clue what exactly to write about or direction to go without it being too cliche or campy. Any prompt ideas? Thank you so much! Also your blog is super awesome and incredibly helpful - wouldn't change a thing (maybe have another ask box day lol but it's all good).

Well you could check out the tags I have for demons, witches, paranormal, ghosts, and horror for some ideas. I think there are quite a few :p But here some more:

  • A witch’s ghost who tries to find a way to get their powers in the afterlife.
  • Every time you do something really bad you create a demon and that demon is unleashed to hurt someone else.
  • There are good demons and bad demons. The good demons punish and control evil spirits in the afterlife while the bad demons run rogue trying to drum up some more business.
  • Ghosts are spirits who have escaped from hell and must hide from demons who try to bring them back. Some ghosts hide out in people’s homes and sometimes those demons find them there. The demons do what it takes to bring the ghosts back, even if humans getting the way.

anonymous asked:

Who in Naruto wouldn't mind or maybe even prefer a chubby/chunky S/O. Maybe some cute headcanons thrown in with this?

I kind of already did something like this here even though it’s more broad in terms of the prompt, but I’ll stick with those same characters

Hashirama

•He can appreciate a heavier s/o just as well as thinner one. He doesn’t see the bad in it either. Pretty sure in general, Hashirama thinks some extra weight is fine. Good, even

•Say his s/o likes to eat. Loves food. But obviously, they might feel a little hesitant eating so much if they’re insecure about their weight, especially in front of him. In which case, Hashi will eat until he feels like he’s about to throw up. Just stuffs his face with as much as he can. Seeing this, he hopes it encourages his s/o to eat as much as they want. He’d also keep offering them food, though not too persistently, knowing it might make them anxious. He just wants them to relax and be comfortable and not have to worry about those sort of things

•Loves cuddling with them. He honestly likes the extra fluff, it’s super comfy. This is also a little risky though, because when sleeping with each other at night, he’s not likely to let go once he wraps his arms around them. Once he has them in his grasps, that’s it. No getting out of that. Too comfortable and warm to not keep them in his clutches

•One of his fav things to do is shower or bathe with them, because lathering them up with soap and cleaning each other is so fun

Itachi

•Itachi doesn’t worry too much about superficial aspects. It’s just really not something in his plane of thought. It’ll only come to mind if his s/o mentions it. In which case, he has no problem reassuring them, adopting a balance of understanding where they’re coming from with their insecurities and concerns, but also trying to encourage them

•He’ll tell them that he understands why they might think like that, but to him, it’s not a problem. He doesn’t see it. He never has and he never will, no matter how much they bring it to attention (if that’s what they’re doing)

•Itachi really doesn’t like seeing his s/o lack confidence. So if they were a confident chubby person, then heyyyy alright, that’s cool. If not, then as mentioned above, he would take the time to reassure them

•Honestly, Itachi just won’t act different with a s/o who’s chubbier. There’s not a big distinction between it. Like really the only time it becomes an issue is when they bring it up, which will incite anything previously mentioned ^^^^

Sakura

•Sakura really would not mind a chubby s/o, not at all. Sure, she’s been known to obsess over superficial features, but personality also draws her in. And she doesn’t really see the harm in someone being a little chubby? As a medic nin, she knows what’s good and bad, so she won’t think it’s a big deal. So she’s especially likely to fall in love with someone and not worry about if they’re chunky or not

•She doesn’t mention the weight, especially if she knows they’re insecure about it. However, if they’re confident and actually bring up the weight on their own in a casual, lighthearted way, then Sakura will to. Or she’ll at least laugh with them when it comes up. But it’s all in good fun, and only if she 100% knew it wouldn’t hurt them in anyway

•She loves snuggling up with them. She hopes it reassures them that she likes them for who they are, and that they don’t have to worry about anything

•Sakura’s extremely adamant about that too. She needs her s/o to know how she feels about them, and that they shouldn’t ever doubt her intentions and feelings. If they ever expressed concerns, about their weight specifically, her short temper goes off and she has a tendency to scold them for thinking such things. In her eyes, if she likes them, if she thinks they’re perfect, they should accept that and should have no reason to doubt it

FACE Family Dinner Night When America Cooks
  • Canada: So what's for dinner?
  • America: Stuffed mangos!
  • Canada, England, France: ...
  • France: What do you stuff them with?
  • America: Uh ground beef, rice, tomatoes and some parmesan!
  • France: ...Mon Dieu! I blame you England!
  • England: My cooking may not be the best but I sure never gave him this!
  • Canada: Hey! Maybe it won't be that bad?
  • America: ...what's wrong with stuffed mangos guys?
  • France: Well America...mangos are more suited for a dessert wouldn't you think? Maybe with some cream or sugar not ground beef...
  • America: ...uh no? That sounds disgusting! I use mangos in lots of recipes!
  • Canada: ...no you don't! I've ate your cooking a thousand times and I've never seen you use a mango?!
  • America: Yes you have! When I made phillycheese steak last week!
  • Canada: You used onions, green peppers and steak not mangos!
  • America: Yes I did! Green peppers and mangos are the same thing!
  • England: ...No they aren't you bloody yank!
  • France: For once I agree with England!
  • Canada: Wtf bro..

anonymous asked:

What's really so bad about consumerism? I mean does buying a new dress make me a "bad communist"? It's not like people wouldn't go shopping in a communist country right? Maybe this is just me trying to justify liking shopping so much but...?

Well there’s some good news on that front: socialism and communism aren’t systems that oppose individuals taking ownership of consumer goods and personal items. Of course there will still be ways for people to get spiffy duds in a communist society – which is good, cuz I wouldn’t have it any other way either 😂. Basically the main thing that makes you “less of a communist” is ownership over the means of production. Consumerism is what it is, and I think communists should oppose the constant advertising and pointless industries devoted to generating otherwise pointless bullshit. I dunno, it can be a complicated issue, but I wouldn’t say you’re “less of a communist” if you enjoy shopping, mass media, sports, or other “bread and circuses” “distractions” – we’re allowed to have some enjoyment in a system we otherwise oppose.

Dean is so fucked.

Nonono, like, Dean is so fucked.

The bed is strewn with candy wrappers, his belly bloated with sweets as The Goonies continues to play on his laptop. He feels sick, but he guesses that’s what happens when you polish off entire box of 150 assorted halloween candy bars. 

Honestly, he didn’t mean to eat them all. He’d been craving a Kit-Kat so figured he’d take one to eat with his movie. But then he’d wanted another. And another. And then he’d just thought, fuck it, it’s not like there’ll actually be any kids coming to their super secret bunker so he’d just kept the whole box and went to town.

Except that now that box is totally empty and Dean feels like he’s gonna die.

“Fuck.”

There’s no way he can get off his bed, let alone drive to town and get more candy before Sam and Cas get back from the library. Maybe if he gets rid of the evidence…? Even slight movements make him feel nauseas, so Dean hastily pushes as many wrappers off of his bed as he can and unbuckles his belt, sighing in relief before pushing off his jeans and throwing them over the evidence. He moves more quickly when he hears footsteps.

“Dean?” Cas calls.

Shitshitshit.

Castiel pokes his head inside the door, his smile turning to a frown when he sees the other’s prone position. “Are you—”

“Wait, no, Cas—”

Did you eat all the candy?

“Um.” Dean gives his most charming smile. “No?”

Castiel narrows his eyes. “You feel sick, now, don’t you?”

“Uh… yes?”

Surprisingly, Cas leans in at that, gently fitting his hand to Dean’s cheek. “Poor man, you must feel awful.”

“Yeah, I do. I really, really do.”

“Mm.”

The hunter closes his eyes and puckers his lips, waiting. 

…But instead of a kiss, Castiel lightly pats his cheek. “Well then, I’ll leave you to your misery.”

“Hey!” Dean says to his back, sitting up despite his nausea. “Hey, wait! Cas! Aren’t you gonna… I dunno, kiss me better?”

Castiel shrugs on his way out. “Maybe later!”

Falling back on the mattress, Dean groans and glares at the wall. “Ugh.”

Why I'm Fucking Mad at the Signs
  • ARIES: You always want to be taken seriously and listened to but you never fucking listen to the advice anyone gives you. You constantly get people's hopes up but never follow through with anything. Why do you do that? You're so inconsiderate of the way everyone around you is feeling because you're in your own world and you completely fucking blow off the people who care about you for anything or anyone that comes along and grabs your attention. Quit fucking getting in relationships and acting like your significant other is the only person who's ever cared about you. They're not, and if you don't show the other people in your life that you care about them, they're going to fucking leave.
  • TAURUS: You think the world fucking revolves around you and you're so childish. You persistently go after something you know you can't have and throw a fit when you don't get it. Also, you do realize that your words and actions effect other people, right? You can't just fucking say anything you want when you're mad or upset and expect people to forgive you. Stop being so fucking self-centered. Stop expecting everyone around you to operate on your time and be around when it's convenient for you. Your constant snide remarks under your breath are unnecessary and hurtful. You take making yourself your own first priority to a new extreme.
  • GEMINI: Shut the fuck up and quit overthinking everything. You expect people to care about how you're doing and get upset when people aren't as enthusiastic over certain things as you are. You can't just assume that everyone cares about the same things as you. Nobody fucking cares about all the details in the stories you tell. Quit making a 10 minute long story out a 30 second event, if you don't stop fucking talking all the time then no one is ever going to want to listen to you anymore. You don't always have to be the center of attention. Spoiler alert, sometimes other people deserve attention too. You are so fucking caught up in your own little fantasy world that you can't handle reality any time you have to deal with it. Sometimes you have to learn how to fucking suck it up and deal with things on your own, there's not always going to be someone around who wants to listen to you bitch about the world.
  • CANCER: Stop fucking crying. You're constantly so deep in your emotions that you don't care how your actions effect people around you. Every fucking time something bad happens to you, you think it's okay to disappear for a few months and then when you're done with your pity party you decide to come back into everyone's lives and expect everything to be just the way you left it. You expect entirely too much out of people it's ridiculous. You have such an intelligent mind but it doesn't even matter because you only ever fucking use your heart. You set yourself up for so much of the hurt in your life. Stop making yourself so vulnerable and stop thinking that you can fix everyone you meet or even assuming that they want to be fixed. You're not good at giving advice, and that's alright... But you don't realize that sometimes all that someone needs is a friend and you're never fucking there for anyone when they reach their low points and need you most. Quit fucking disappearing.
  • LEO: You're so fucking selfish. You hold your pride and your image above everything else and act like it's invincible. You know it's fragile and so does everyone else or you wouldn't spend so much time trying to protect it. You think that just because you're in a bad mood everyone else needs to be as well. Quit fucking take out your problems on people who are trying to help you. You act like a hard ass but you can't fucking confront a problem head on for the life of you. Also, you're not always right. Having the last word in an argument isn't that important. Maybe if you'd shut the fuck up and care about someone other than yourself for a couple minutes you'd realize that other's people's views/opinions/feelings matter too. Quit pretending like you're on a higher level than everyone else, it gets so old so fucking fast.
  • VIRGO: You're so fucking manipulative. You only do things that will end up benefitting you in the end. You can't even fucking do something kind for someone unless you're going to get something out of it. Stop acting like you're a hard ass, you're not. When you get pissed off you just sulk and say the most fucking hateful things to people because you're so observant and you know what will hurt people the most. It's not fair that everyone in your life has to be scared that if you upset them even accidentally you're going to do anything in your power to hurt them. It's bullshit. No one gave you the power to control others, so why do you try to manipulate and control every single person in your life? Also, own up to things when you're confronted about them. Compulsive lying is your strong suit and it's getting really fucking tiring.
  • LIBRA: You are so fucking quick to cut people off. You can be friends with someone for 10 years and if they do something that upsets you then you won't hesitate for a second to cut them off. It's fucking bullshit that everyone who cares about you feels like they have to be constantly walking on eggshells. You act so fucking independent, you don't think that you need anyone besides yourself but it's funny how any time something goes wrong you're crying to me asking me for help. Open your fucking eyes. You're so easy to love, stop fucking playing games with people's minds. Just because someone tells you something that you didn't want to hear doesn't fucking mean that they deserve to be cut out of your life. You take everything so personally and assume any subtweet or bad conversation is about you. Cut it out. It's on my last fucking nerve.
  • SCORPIO: Mind your own fucking business. It's like you feed off of other people's misery and drama. You can't fucking keep a secret to save your life. You never talk about your own stories, say it's because you're a private person, but will gossip about anyone else's endeavors. You're so fucking quick to judge, and refuse to ever give people a second chance. You're constantly running around hurting other people's feelings and begging for second chances but are the most unforgiving people I've ever met. Why do you do that? You're so fucking fake to everyone you meet. You can't handle confrontation and pretend you like everyone so that they'll open up to you and you can have things to use against them when/if they betray you in some way. Why do you do this to the people you care about? Also, stop thinking you're hot shit and can get in bed with anyone you want.
  • SAGITTARIUS: You're so fucking irresponsible. This is in every aspect. Education, bills, relationships, anything. You are the worst communicators. Stop fucking cancelling plans that have been solid for a month 10 minutes before they actually happen. Also, you can't just continue to be reckless with people's hearts and expect them to stick around. Why aren't you ever there for people when they need you? You're always there to experience the good with others but as soon as things get bad and they need your love and support you just fucking leave. Why do others' emotions make you so uncomfortable? Is it because you try to pretend that you don't have any? News flash: everyone sees right through that. Stop trying to act like you're tough shit and embrace the softness that is a part of you. It's not cool to be cold and bitter and closed off to the world, you're going to end up isolating yourself and hating your fucking life. You're doing this to yourself.
  • CAPRICORN: Stop fucking holding yourself back. You second guess yourself in essentially every single aspect of your life. Stop it. I swear to god it's like every fucking time I talk to you, you plan out what you're going to say so as not to be judged. Who gave you this severe lack of self confidence? Who taught you to hold yourself back and confine yourself into such a small box? You seem so fucking mean when people first meet you because you refuse to just have a nice casual conversation with someone you don't know. Let down your walls. You're so easy to love and have so many great ideas but you're the ones holding yourself back. It's so fucking frustrating because people have to pry everything out of you. Stop being so fucking afraid of everything. Sometimes you're the epitome of living but not existing. Life experiences will be scary and sometimes you have to do things that are out of your comfort zone but guess what? So does everyone else. It's part of the fucking game, and you need to take your head out of the damn clouds and realize that life isn't always fair.
  • AQUARIUS: You're so fucking extreme. Nothing is ever neutral with you. Why can't you ever fucking find a middle ground on anything? Also, stop trying to fight every fucking person you meet. Stop thinking that your opinion is superior to any other and that everyone is out to get you. You intentionally seclude yourself from things because you like the idea of being a lone wolf. Fine, be a lone wolf, but quit fucking crying when people stop inviting you to things because you always turn them down anyways. You want so badly to be unique and distinguished. You try to act numb to everything that happens to you, as if your emotions are novacane junkies. You're a big fucking crybaby, so quit trying to hide it.
  • PISCES: I know you think that you have good intentions but you are so fucking ignorant. You think that everyone does or should think the same way as you. You're so fucking emotional but you'll never open up or be fucking sincere about your feelings unless of course you're under the influence. You let people see that you are a highly emotional person but get defensive and angry when people try to get you to open up. Why are you so fucking cold? You're so fucking good at walking back into people's lives after you made the decision to leave and they always let you back in. You always just fucking leave again. Why do you always run? Why do you get off on getting people's hopes up and then letting them down? It's like you love raising people up because watching others freefall is interesting. Well, it's not. It's so fucking hurtful. I know you think you're doing well, but don't fucking say things unless you mean them. You cause more harm than help when you deceive people and try to spare their feelings.
  • Renfield: Master, I have news!
  • Dracula: And what sort of news do you have? It's not bad news, is it? You know I can't take bad news.
  • Renfield: Well, to be perfectly frank, it's bad.
  • Dracula: I knew it! I knew it would be bad news. Wait, I have an idea. Maybe if you tell me the *bad* news in a *good* way, it wouldn't sound so bad.
  • Renfield: The bad news in a good way. Yes, I can do that. The bad news in a good way. Well, here it goes.
  • [hysterically]
  • Renfield: W-wait till you hear this! I just saw Professor Van Helsing, he's figured out you're a vampire.
  • [laughs]
  • Renfield: Oh, and Jonathan Harker's escaped and told his wife everything!
  • [laughs]
  • Renfield: They all hate you, and with good reason!
  • [laughs]
  • Renfield: And...
  • [laughs]
  • Renfield: ... they want to see you staked!
  • [laughs]
  • Renfield: We, we're in a lot of trouble!
  • [laughs and snorts loudly]
  • some person: tracer might not be a lesbian, maybe bisexual or pansexual!
  • me: sure why not, as long as she's a wlw
  • some person: so therefore she can still technically want to fuck a guy ;)
  • me: i don't wish death on people but if something bad were to happen to you, well, i wouldn't mind either way