I stumbled across this little note that I left for myself about 2 years ago in my sketchbook for a future reminder.
SubhanAllah, it could not have reached me at a better time than now, Alhamdulillah. ❤️
“What is destined will reach you, even if it be underneath two mountains. What is not destined, will not reach you, even if it be between your two lips.
What ever is meant for you will be coming your way, while you are led and directed toward it.
As for that which is not meant for you, you will be deflected from it as it is turned aside from you.
Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah’s decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee”
– Umar bin al Khattab (RA)
I do not like this world except for three things: the place where my forehead touches the ground in prostration, the places where people gather for knowledge, where they seek good words as they would choose the best dates from the dish, and striving in Allah’s way.
Do not let your love be obsessive and do not let your hatred be destructive. When you love, do not go to a level of obsession as a child does with the things he loves, and when you hate, do not hate in such way that you want your opponent to be destroyed and doomed.
Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (radiallahu’anhu) [Narrated by Abd ar-Razzaq in al-Musannaf, 20]
Stick with your true brothers. You can live in comfort with them, as they are a delight in times of ease, and you can lean on them in times of hardship. Assume the best about your brother until he comes with something that should alarm you from him. Avoid your enemy, and beware of befriending anyone but the trustworthy, and there is no trust for the one who doesn’t fear Allah. Do not befriend the corrupt, as he will teach you his corruption, and do not reveal your secrets to him, and only consult those who fear Allah, the Exalted.
Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasidin of Ibn Qudamah, p.132.
From my experience, the first year of marriage seems to be the hardest. You’re both getting to know each other, you’re not used to each others habits and quirks (even if you had known each other before marriage). Patient is key. There will likely be days when your spouse’s reaction or behaviour will confuse; your spouse will have similar days. Keep communication open, talk to each other; share even the smallest, seemingly insignificant things, build your relationship step by step. Do not compare your marriage to someone else’s marriage, you only see the surface of their marriage, you have no idea of the reality of their marriage or the struggles the couple has been through to reach the point they are at now. Also, everyone is different; focus on the positives.
Lastly, trust Allah; pour your heart out to Him in prayer/dua.
“Verily, He is the One Who accepts the repentance and Who forgives.”
[The Noble Qu’ran 110:3]
As Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA) said:
“If your spouse is angry, you should be calm. When one is fire, the other should be water.”
May Allah (SWT) grant us blessed marriages, Ameen.
“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah’s Decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.” (Umar ibn al-Khattab r.a)