I would watch/read the shit out of "So you think you can propose?"
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN PROPOSE?
The words are loud and bold, thick black strokes scrawled on the back of a Thai takeout menu that’s been taped to their fridge. More importantly, they are fighting words.
Yuuri slips his phone out of his back pocket and dials. When his call’s been picked up, he doesn’t waste time.
“Vitya—” he begins.
“Public enemy numero uno,” Victor answers. “What could I help you with on this fine morning?”
Yuuri sighs. “It’s so cold out. You didn’t even take your puffy blue jacket with you. I’d washed it.”
“I’m just getting us breakfast across the street, I’m fine,” Victor says dismissively, even as he audibly sniffles. “I’m as fine as I can be after a huge, ball-busting betrayal—”
“Your balls are fine,” Yuuri snorts.
“We decided I could do the proposal,” Victor goes on. “You got to do the rings, so that’s already fifty percent of a proposal. I was supposed to do the other fifty percent, so you can’t just-just… Sorry, could you repeat that? Ooh, yeah extra cream cheese on the side. Perfect, thanks.”
Yuuri pours some food into Makkachin’s bowl and waits patiently as Victor wraps up picking up his order. The sound of traffic quickly fills up the background as Victor enters the street.
“Anyway, I was saying. Solnyshko?”
Yuuri kicks at a stray dog toy on his way to the living room couch. “Uh-huh, I’m here.”
“You can’t just be a ball-hog in this basketball game of a relationship! Who are you, Kobe Bryant? There is this thing called teamwork. There is this thing called a pass.”
“What is up with you and balls this morning?” Yuuri says, amused.
“I’m not marrying a Kobe Bryant, Yuuri.” Victor sniffles again, obviously faking it this time.
“Of course not. You’re marrying a Yuuri Katsuki.”
Victor makes an indignant noise. “I didn’t accept your proposal,” he protests. “Who do you think you are?”
Yuuri’s mouth twitches. “Your fiance.”
“Stop it,” Victor demands. “Stop it right now. Jeez. When did you get so. The audacity. The disrespect. No, the answer is no. The last twelve hours never happened,” Victor declares. “I’m doing the proposal and it’s gonna make you—”
“Bust my balls?” Yuuri offers.
“Fuck yeah, it’s going to bust your balls. It’s gonna bust them right through—oh, hi, Madame Sokolova.” Yuuri laughs while Victor giggles shamelessly on the other end. “No, just making plans with Yuuri. My boyfriend who is just my boyfriend and nothing more.”
There is a sharp intake of breath while Yuuri whispers whoops.
“No he did not propose last night. No, where did you hear that? Are you kidding me? Does the whole building know? Yuuri. I can’t believe you. You’ve gone too far. I’m eating your extra bagel.”