of my least favorite parts about being a middle school history teacher
is the bullshit “Living History” assignments we give at the end of every
school year. Kids are supposed to sit with their grandparents and video
tape, voice record, or transcribe their oldest memories for posterity
(and for an easy way to bring up their GPA).
(Keith and Lance are on their first date at a restaurant)
Keith: I hate cheesy things, they make me sick to my stomach.
Lance, desperately trying to cover his heartbreak as he subtly types out a text to Hunk and Pidge from under the table telling them to cancel the incredibly cheesy gesture he had planned for after their date: (voice cracking) Oh.. really? I didn’t, um, know that about you.
Keith: (shrugs) I try not to be too open about it. Shiro says it kind of ruins the mood whenever I bring it up.
Lance: (having a crisis) Yeah, uh huh. I totally get that. Yeah.
Keith: … Are you okay?
Lance: Who, me? I’m fine! Never been better! (all the moments where he picked up Keith in a suit and gave him flowers and held the door/chair for him in the restaurant flash before his eyes) Oh, no. Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo.
Lance: Keith, buddy, light of my life- Wait, shit! You literally just said- Keith, I’m so sorry. I had no idea but I- I should’ve asked if you were alright with all the romcom stuff before I did it. I’m so sorry, I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable or, or that you were being pressured. I just, I really like you, and I wanted to do everything right, but instead I- (he jumps when Keith’s hand touches his own) Uh,
Keith:Lance, calm down. What are you talking about?
Lance: You said you hate cheesy things!! And-
Keith: Yeah, because I’m lactose intolerant.
Lance: -I’m a cheese master! I’ve been grinding cheese all evening!! I’ve been inhaling that shit, sprinkling it, we’re literally neck deep in- Wait. What?
Keith: Lance. I was talking about my lactose intolerance. I- (he unsuccessfully tries to pass his laugh off as a cough even as he tightens his grip on Lance’s hand) I’m sorry, I swear I’m not laughing at you! It’s just, you’re getting all worked up, and- It’s sweet that you care so much, thank you, but I was talking about- (he starts laughing again)
Lance: You’re talking about your lactose intolerance??? You said, you said cheesy things- (he wheezes) Oh my god, cheese makes you sick to your stomach, you weren’t trying to give me a hint, you were talking about shitting-
Keith: I wasn’t-! I never said that, I said it hurts my stomach! That’s so gross Lance, don’t say that when we’re in public!
Lance: (still laughing) Okay, okay, sorry. I’ll keep it PG.
Keith: That’s all I ask. And, um. About what you were talking about. I don’t… usually like big romantic gestures, or pda.
Lance: … Oh. Well, that’s okay! We can-
Keith: (staring intently at a scuff on the table) But. I’ve found that I don’t mind it when it’s, um. (he stares harder at the table) When it’s. (his ears are starting to turn pink) Whenit’scomingfromyou.
Lance: (subtly sniffles before smiling) We’ll make a romantic of you yet, Kogane.
me, internally: I love the dynamic of Klance and I love writing the ship. It was my first ship in the Voltron fandom and my first Voltron Klance fic Bonding Time is still my most popular. But it’s a constant frustration, because the more Klance content I reblog, the more anti blogs and art and posts are recommended to me. Because so many Klance fans are antis, and so Klance is associated with antis, which is so sad because I don’t want to be associated with such a toxic side of a fandom and I know many other Klance shippers don’t either, or don’t see the harm in anti arguments because they support Klance, and they’re defending Klance, so it must be okay, right? I hate that so many antis who ship Klance are also Lance stans, because I love Lance but I do not appreciate the iterations of Klance which make Keith out to be little more than a prop to support and lavish love upon Lance when he needs it - forget Keith’s feelings and character development, he’s from Texas and loves knives and making terrible decisions LOL. I hate the “there can only be one” mentality among so many Klance fans, who will go out of their way to bash other ships in order to make Klance the only “safe” and “non-problematic” one. I hate that the argument “because it’s not Klance” has literally been used when one shipper was asked why she didn’t ship or like Hance, I hate that people label Pidge/Lance as problematic even though Pidge and Lance have great potential as a couple and their age difference is the same as Keith and Lance’s, and most of all I hate that antis who ship Klance (…which is most if not all of them) claim other ships that “interfere” with Klance like Sheith or Shance or Shklance are pedophilia and unhealthy, when they are neither. I hate that antis who ship Klance will go so far as to attack other shippers with slews of hate, death threats, give them labels using words they do not even understand, and worst of all invalidate the experiences and trauma of actual CSA victims in their quest to make Klance the one true pairing. I hate that Klance fans have attacked the creators and voice actors of the show in the same way, I hate that @bext-k has been treated so horribly here on tumblr and then been told she couldn’t defend herself because her bully was a minor (a minor, but not a toddler, someone who is perfectly capable of not being an asshole and whose age does not make it okay for them to say the things they said). I cannot stand the Klance meta posts that analyze the heck out of every interaction between the two of them, and at the same time ignore much more meaningful interactions between characters like Shiro and Keith and deny that there could be anything more than friendship between them. It isn’t that deep, I’m sorry, it just isn’t, and it’s embarrassing to see how far of a reach Klance fans make sometimes in order to make their ship as canon as possible. And look, to a degree, I get it. I love Klance. But I do not love the way so many Klance shippers have broken apart this fandom and created spaces so toxic that CSA victims’ voices cannot even be heard without being shut down, mocked, and insulted. I do not love the way I now I have to check every unknown blog’s description before reblogging a post from them to make sure they don’t say “shaladins get out” or “stinky anti” there. I do not love the way that adult antis claim they are protecting minors and then turn around and reblog nsfw fanart of Keith and Lance, two characters who they apparently see as minors, even going so far as to tag it with things like “yaoi” or “this is so sinful” or something equally insulting. I do not love the way antis gaslight and guilt-trip, I do not love the insidious mob mentality that leads to people feeling afraid of not thinking the way other antis do. I do not love the all too prevalent fujoshi culture found among Klance shippers - have you ever noticed that the overwhelming majority of Klance shippers are teenage to twenty-something girls? Whereas all of the queer guys I know of in this fandom are multishippers and/or ship Sheith or Shance. Why don’t we acknowledge that? Why don’t we acknowledge that queer guys, whose relationships we are writing/drawing/analyzing and fangirling about, have an opinion here, and that their opinion maybe, just MAYBE, matters more than ours? In Hypable’s Battleships poll, this was literally proven - way more guys voted for Sheith than voted for Klance. But Sheith is the toxic relationship. Uh-huh. Right. Okay. Even though they’re both adults and have shown each other nothing but love, trust, and respect. This is what infuriates me about so many Klance shippers. The willful blindness to even acknowledge that other sides, other ships, may have merit. And of course this isn’t all of them, I ship Klance and I know many others who do and who don’t share this mentality that makes me so sad and upset. But there are a significant amount of Klance shippers who do. Why can’t there just be a dialogue? Why can’t antis be people who may not like Shaladin ships but understand that this is a fictional show, people are entitled to their opinions, blacklisting tags/blocking users/not looking at content you don’t like is a valid option, and words like pedophilia and “go kill yourself” should not be thrown around as lightly and frequently as they are? I wish we could. I really wish we could. And I also wish I could ship Klance as much as I want to without constantly being reminded of all the hate spread by people who call it their OTP.
me: yep haha ofc klance will always be close to my heart!