'tis the season for lap sitting

All I Want For Christmas Is Jungkook

title: all I want for christmas is jungkook

word count: 2k?? ish

pairings/other notes: jikook, piney!jungkook, Christmas!bangtan. jungkook hates christmas but he finds a sudden affinity for it when a certain blond haired hyung worships the season

a/n: hello. this is first time. for me. write fic. I do the write at 4am. I sorry.

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TFLN Sentence Starters (Part 3)
  • [TEXT] Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
  • [TEXT] Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
  • [TEXT] You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
  • [TEXT] I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
  • [TEXT] Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
  • [TEXT] The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
  • [TEXT] The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
  • [TEXT] Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
  • [TEXT] 2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
  • [TEXT] When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
  • [TEXT] I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
  • [TEXT] The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
  • [TEXT] I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
  • [TEXT] I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
  • [TEXT] Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
  • [TEXT] My ass is underappreciated
  • [TEXT] I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
  • [TEXT] Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
  • [TEXT] I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
  • [TEXT] I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
  • [TEXT] Just put me in your contacts as coyote
  • [TEXT] You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
  • [TEXT] Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
  • [TEXT] Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
  • [TEXT] Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
  • [TEXT] Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
  • [TEXT] It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.