'they say he can't be killed'

okay but imagine harry making a group chat for his friends from hogwarts just because and draco is there too but he literally never talks because he’s all like “that’s a muggle thing phew” but really he didn’t know how to use that

AND the first time that draco actually talks in the group chat is to send a video of harry who stubbed his toe on a table and is lying on the floor curled up into a ball screaming “I DIDN’T KILL VOLDEMORT FOR THIS

and then the camera switches to draco’s bored face and with the most monotone voice ever he says “the boy who lived twice” and he’s holding a clock that shows 4:27am

Ty was silent, and in that silence, Kit thought of Ty’s headphones, the music in his ears, the whispered words, the way he touched things with such total concentration: smooth stones, rough glass, silk and leather and textured linen. There were people in the world, he knew, who thought human beings like Ty did those things for no reason—because they were inexplicable. Broken.
Kit felt a wash of rage go through him. How could they not understand everything Ty did had a reason? If an ambulance siren blared in your ears, you covered them. If something hit you, you doubled up to protect yourself from hurt.
But not everyone felt and heard exactly the same way. Ty heard everything twice as loud and fast as everyone else. The headphones and the music, Kit sensed, were a buffer: They deadened not just other noises, but also feelings that would otherwise be too intense. They protected him from hurt.
He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to live so intensely, to feel things so much, to have the world sway into and out of too-bright colors and too-bright noises. When every sound and feeling was jacked up to eleven, it only made sense to calm yourself by concentrating all your energy on something small that you could master—a mass of pipe cleaners to unravel, the pebbled surface of a glass between your fingers.
“I don’t want to tell you not to go to the Scholomance if it’s what you want,” said Kit. “But I would just say that it isn’t always about people trying to protect you, or knowing what’s best for you, or thinking they do. Sometimes they just know they’d miss you.”
“Livvy would miss me—”
“Your whole family would miss you,” said Kit, “and I would miss you.”
It was a bit like stepping off a cliff, far scarier than any con Kit had ever run for his dad, any Downworlder or demon he’d ever met. Ty looked up in surprise, forgetting the glass in his hands.
He was blushing. It was very visible against his pale skin. “You would?”
“Yeah,” said Kit, “but like I said, I don’t want to stop you from going if you want to—”
“I don’t,” Ty said. “I changed my mind.” He set the glass down. “Not because of you. Because the Scholomance appears to be full of assholes.”
Kit burst out laughing. Ty looked even more astonished than he had when Kit had said he’d miss him. But after a second, he started to laugh too. They were both laughing, Kit doubled up over the blankets, when Magnus came into the room.
—  so, let me know if there’s any heterosexual explanation for this por favor
My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.

Guys I had so much hope for Jasper.

Hope that he’d learn how to rely on his friends again. Hope that he’d be able to somehow heal from all of the shit that he went through.

Hope that he’d be able to find happiness in that godforsaken story.

It almost makes me disappointed in the writers. That they would rather kill off a character because everyone finds him annoying and wants him to die rather than not being afraid to show us the ugly parts of healing from trauma and what it means to survive.

And when the whole theme of the season is “From the ashes we will rise” I can’t just help but think about how much I wanted to see Jasper make it to the end. 

Was it too much to ask to see him be happy again?

See ya on the other side Jasper, and may we meet again.

  • sai: I still don't understand your bond with sasuke
  • naruto: this again?
  • naruto: look, it's simple
  • naruto: basically, he's my best friend, and the first person to really accept me for myself
  • naruto: we're also rivals because I've always wanted to be his equal, but he made me feel inferior, that bastard
  • naruto: I admire his determination, skills, strength, and the hidden kindness in his heart
  • naruto: I like the way his skin glows like the moon, the way his eyes are so clear and black, I can see my own reflection if I lean in close enough
  • naruto: his lips feel like velvet and taste sour, but also a little sweet
  • naruto: like tomatoes, I guess... huh...
  • sai: and how do you know what his lips taste like?
  • naruto: oh yeah, we kissed a few times
  • naruto: it was mostly on accident
  • sai: but you say you're friends?
  • naruto: no, no, we're more than just friends
  • sai: I see... that makes more sense
  • naruto: yeah, he's like a brother to me
  • naruto: a really infuriating, good-looking older brother
  • sai: I'm confused again
  • sai: so you're not in love with him?
  • naruto: don't be ridiculous- I just told you he's like a brother to me
  • naruto: you can't be in love with your brother
  • naruto: no matter how good-looking he is
  • naruto: that's weird
  • sai: and the rest of this is normal?
  • naruto: um... yeah
  • sai: I understand now
  • naruto: you do?
  • sai: yes, if I was sasuke, I would want to kill you too
  • naruto: sai, we have to work on your people skills
  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: as much as I love that the Batfamily has been connecting and bonding lately, I also HATE IT WITH A PASSION because ALL TIM DRAKE EVER WANTED WAS TO BE A MEMBER OF THAT FAMILY. LIKE, SO FUCKING MUCH. HE FOLLOWED THEM AROUND WHEN HE WAS A SMOL BECAUSE HIS BIO FAMILY WAS NEGLECTFUL AND HE JUST!! WANTED!! A FAMILY!! AND NOW THAT THEY'RE FINALLY TRYING TO ACT LIKE ONE AGAIN, DC KILLED OFF TIM DRAKE SO WE CAN'T EVEN SEE THE WARPED ECHO VERSION OF HIM GET WHAT HE WANTED?? FFFFUUUUUCK YOOOOUUUUU.

“Say her damn name!" 

"You stay the hell away from Carol, you hear me?”

“She gets hurt, she dies, if she catches a fever, if she gets taken out by a walker, she gets hit by lightning, anything, if anything happens to her, I’ll kill you.”

“Why’d you go?”

“Are we gonna eat? Do I have to be a King or something to get food around here?”

“Ezekiel, is he OK?”

Concerned, protective, loving, vulnerable, jealous Daryl. None of this shit is ambiguous, my friends. He is in love with her. 

harry potter books rated by how passionate oliver wood is about quidditch
  • sorcerer’s stone: oliver just lets a fresh 11-year-old boy wizard join his team, no questions asked. tells this kid there’s a sport where the balls want to kill you and basically says "good luck out there." known for his long-winded speeches and love for the game. very passionate. solid start. (7/10)
  • chamber of secrets: oliver doesn’t care if there’s a monster on the loose snatching up schoolchildren willy-nilly. YOU CAN'T CANCEL QUIDDITCH. (7/10)
  • prisoner of azkaban: his obsession now borders on manic. he doesn’t care if harry lives or dies. gryffindor finally wins the quidditch cup (probably the crowning achievement of oliver’s life tbh), and there now are no worlds left to conquer. (12/10)
  • goblet of fire: the world cup happens, this is true, but oliver wood has graduated from hogwarts. as a result of this and nothing else, no one plays quidditch the entire year (5/10)
  • order of the phoenix: harry asks if oliver’s been killed because angelina johnson seems to be channeling his spirit. however, oliver wood is playing for the puddlemere united reserve team and is thankfully alive and well. (3/10)
  • half-blood prince: no mention of oliver wood nor his abiding love of quidditch, except for when fred says oliver would’ve murdered the entire slytherin team if he could’ve gotten away with it. we can assume he’s gently caressing a broomstick wherever he is, but the fact remains that we can’t KNOW. (2/10)
  • deathly hallows: oliver takes a quick break from quidditch to fight in the battle of hogwarts. he’s fighting for a new world, a better world—a world where quidditch is allowed to continue existing. very noble. (9/10)

Oh yeah, that’s soo true, Kurogane doesn’t take orders from anyone. We all know it, there’s nothing you can do about this… He doesn’t listen to anyone

UNLESS THE PERSON GIVING ORDERS IS A CERTAIN MAGICIAN CALLED FAY :D

If Fay says you have to go to the doctor, you go.

“AH? WHY ME?”, he complains…and then he does it anyway :3

He just can’t say no, can he?

“NO-ORDERS-FROM-ANYONE-NEVER-EVER!”

Ahh Kuro-rin, what happened to you? You’ve become such a docile puppy who can’t say “no” to his wife. Fay tamed you very well XD If only Tomoyo knew….

10

Like who he tryna kid though?

OK OH MY GOD

Not to like, summon @kixboxer or whatever but wouldn’t be ten times funnier if instead of Victor straight up wearing Yuri’s Team Japan jacket and bursting out of the seams, YURIO managed to get his hands on it instead? And went around in front of Victor while Victor was popeyed with rage and jealousy.

“He was cold, Mari would kill me if he got sick,” says Yuri.

In the background, Yurio flips his hair and takes a selfie. THE ONLY WAY THIS JACKET WOULD MAKE IT TO THE GAMES, he taps out. Its so warm. It smells so nice. Yurio is going to let his cat sleep on it.

There was a time when were regarded as royalty. You might even go so far as to say I was king. Which would make you a princess…
— 

Klaus to Hope

Originally posted by nyxisis

You know what kills me here? That David doesn’t even wince when Gillian touches him, like he is USED TO it. Because if a stranger/platonic co-star touches your back, you turn to them, because you assume they want to say something. But he didn’t do any of it, and for me this is the most coupley and intimate and the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen from them.